Chapter 1: Prologue
Kel'Thuzad, the lich who serves King Arthas', is now governing his kingdom until his faithful return.
"I have faith in you, my king. Someday, however, your blade, Frostmourne, will guide you to the Lich King."
He returns to his base, with a necromancer waiting for him.
"Excuse me, my lord. I have been sensing a great dimensional energy near that mountain."
"A great dimensional energy? It sounds promising, but can be dangerous. I shall go there and investigate."
"No my lord! It could be dangerous! Let us escort you."
"No, I could handle on my own."
"As you wish."
Kel'Thuzad traveled to search for that mystical dimensional aura. For days, he searched for it, with no luck. Then suddenly, a lavender colored portal opened up and teleported him to an unknown location. Before he was teleported, he said:
"In the name of Ner'zhul and Arthas!"
*At the Frozen North of Equestria, Crystal Empire*
"Come on Twilight! You have been practicing that dimensional spell all day! You need some rest." a cyan colored pony said.
Twilight is practicing this spell for the entire day, hoping for success. Exaggerated of failures, she tries again and again, and comes up nothing.
"I will not give-up Rainbow Dash! Even if it takes me a whole week!" Twilight said in determination.
"But-" But before Dash could speak his sentence completely, a portal just come up, with Twilight smiling. Then, they do not expect what they saw. A being has been brought forth, and it was terrifying. It has a body, of course, but in an undead manner. He has no eyes, but has glowing white on the pupils. Rainbow Dash fainted, but Twilight stood her ground, but shaking in fear. At last, she asked the being, with the portal gone.
"Who are....you?"
The being watch her, causing her to shake violently in fear.
"Before I could answer your question, who are you?"
"I'm Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia, and the Element of Magic."
'Element of Magic? That's I could sense strong magical auras in her.' Kel'Thuzad thought
"I'm Kel'Thuzad, the lich of the undead Scourge, and the summoner."
"Uhm....Well, hello there Mr Kel'Thuzad. I don't mind, but you just crossed my dimensional spell training."
"I don't think so. I got teleported here by your magic, but let me tell you this: there is a delicate balance of white and black magic. For you, young one, it's white magic while me it's dark magic. By the way, who was with you when I arrived?"
"Uhm....Rainbow Dash."
"I'm sorry for her. By the way, I would like to meet your 'princess' here."
"Sorry, she's on uhm-" But before Twilight could answer, the door swung open and comes her brother.
"Twily, I'm gonna-What are you doing with this....creature?!"
"Brother, please, don't hurt him. He got teleported here by my magic."
"Yeah right. Get away from him!" the brother of Twilight starts to cast his spell.
"Stand down you fool! I'm not a threat to you and your....sister."
But he didn't care. He casted his spell on Kel'Thuzad, but didn't work. What was even more astonishing to him, this creature didn't get hurt from his spell
"You have been fooling around, and I say the truth, but you didn't respond! You must be scourged from the face of this planet!"
He was shocked when the being fires an icy spell, sending his hooves frozen, and cannot move.
"You will be frozen, to the might of the Scourge."
"Pleas! Don't hurt my brother!"
Kel'Thuzad turns his head and saw Twilight crying, begging not to kill his brother. He focuses on her brother a little and unfroze him.
"But...I don't understand."
"There's vile circumstances to choose from. Now come, I need to know the place."
"But before that, could you wake up Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.
"I can't. But you can."
Twilight focuses on waking up on Rainbow Dash, which, in turn, wakes up, only to see the very same creature.
"Who....Who are you?!"
"Dash, just calm down. His a magic user."
"Oh."
"Hello again. Sorry if I ever fainted you. By the way, you could call me Kel'Thuzad, the summoner."
"Well, hello there Kel'Thuzad!"
"Well then, were are we gonna start? Do you have more friends?" Kel'Thuzad asked.
"Well, yes. They are down stairs, helping my ex-foalsitter, Princess Cadence."
"Escort me down, because I would not expect any warm welcomes."
"Just follow me."
The 3 duos goes down to the stairs, with other ponies seeing the vile being with them. Some ponies fainted to this creature, while others is getting angry. Where is this creature come from?
"Hello. I would like to know for everybody that we have....uhm......a strange visitor today." Twilight announced.
The ponies were now staring at the strange being, a very strange and horrifying one. Nothing in their lives that they see a being with this....structure. A pink pony with fluffy hair and tail asked.
"Who are you mister?" she said with a look of curiosity.
"I'm Kel'Thuzad, the summoner and the lich of the Scourge."
"Uhm....My name is Pinkie Pie."
"Well hello there Pinkie Pie."
The ponies are now staring at Kel'Thuzad, hoping to catch anything suspicious. Then, he spoke.
"I could sense something is off here in this place. A magical aura I sensed I supposed."
The ponies were utterly terrified that Kel'Thuzad spoke this. What is this magical aura? And what was this sense?
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Ok, just some constructive criticism. First of all I would say take your time when writing this. It just feels awfully rushed, and I know that I'm not in a position to say that, but just trust me, I've learned from my mistakes.
Second I would say just go through a few times and spell check, grammar check and just generally check through it. There were quite a few times in this when you change tense,
It just kind of takes you out of the story for a bit.
And finally, just, stretch it all out a bit. Describe their surroundings, add little bits of dialogue and give us tidbits of detail. You could have described to us what Kel'Thuzad was seeing right at the beginning, or what the necromancer looked like.
But overall I really enjoyed this! It's one of the, like, five fanfics I've read all the way through. Good job on the whole! I look forwards to the next chapters!
Good stuff! For your first fic, I'd say you did pretty well. Sorry if you're looking for criticism
I'm never good at critiquing! Looking forward to your next chapter though!!
3308047 Thank you good sir. Uhm..Actually, Kel'Thuzad was a necromancer before being killed by Arthas(human by then). He is now a lich, so in your due suggestion, yeah I need to research his features. And thank you for liking this story!
3308078Actually, this is my 2nd. My first one is the War on Terror.
3308104
Ahaha okay second! My story, "Twilight's Ballad" is my second fic, and I don't think it's as good as this one
3308129 I will see that fic. By the way, I followed you. :D If you have any suggestions, pls leave it to the comments. The others also.
3308132
x200 Thank you!! Promise it won't be a failed follow 
I saw that!!
3308132
If you're into that, then go ahead and read it. "Truth or Dare" is also a clop fic, but my other two, "First Night at Shiny Hooves" and "Time Goes By" are teen with no sex or gore 
Agh! I forgot to mention Twilight's Ballad is in fact a clop fic. The first chapter isn't but the second gets a little steamy
3308141 Why don't you uhm.....well...try to make another fanfic. You know, a group or one guy got teleported into Equestria something like that.
3308149
I've never really been big on the HiE FanFics, but I definitely will take it into consideration
3308149
There have been ocassions where people ranted at me for it
Also, sorry if you're a little disappointed with my writing genre
3308171 Hey I'm a good-hearted Filipino. I don't hate people. Most of the time.
3308168 Do you have any title for it?
3308182
Well, like I said, I don't really do HiE FanFics, so I don't have any at the moment, but I will definitely think about it
3308189 Ok. No offense though. I don't like pushing people to do something I want. Its absurd. Oh by the way, some undead units will also be present by 'raising the dead' spell of Kel'Thuzad.
3308209
Ahaha no worries! You're far from pushy!!
I can't wait
3308221 Doing a little by little write for Chapter 2.
Potential good story, you may want to cut down on the dots ( . ) and add more commas ( , )
Also, I don't think RD would faint.
Change Pls to Please....