Chapter 23
The ponies left over in the troll woman's cottage exchanged alarmed glances. After some time, Twilight got to her hooves, at first thinking to follow after Fluttershy, but deciding against it at the last second. Instead, she just stood in place, shifting her weight from hoof to hoof. The others all stared at the door with varying degrees of concern, from Applejack with a guarded expression, to Rainbow Dash gaping at it, horror-struck.
As they gradually got over the shock of the bad news, the group started giving each other anxious, meaningful looks, waiting to see who would break the silence first. Unsurprisingly, it was Pinkie Pie.
“Oh no!” She said with clear distress, but not as much volume as one would expect. “That's really really not good!”
She turned and trotted towards the troll woman, staring up at her with large, baby blue eyes. “Are you really really reeeeaaaalllyyy sure about what you said? Huh? Is it true? Is Discord really in trouble? Is he really gonna die?”
The others stared at the troll woman as well. Normally, Pinkie's bombardment of questions would have been hushed by Applejack or Twilight, but at the moment, every pony in the room was just as desperate for an answer as she was.
The troll woman lowered her head at the pony who stared back at her. There was a slight quiver in Pinkie's lip, her ears flat against her head. The troll woman made a soft, sympathetic noise with no true meaning to it, putting down the spoon she had been stirring the tea with. She turned to face Pinkie and, with some effort, squatted down on her haunches to address her better.
“If your friend is being so strong of magic, he cannot live if he does not have it. I don't know what animal he is, but I can see he is one of the ones who are old. I also can feel him,”
She faltered at this, and her slanted brow furrowed as she thought something over. “Is hard to say. I see him when he comes in and I can feel. I feel with what my eyes see, but also in what my stomach says. He is like an old pot. Very large and with much room. That room in him is filled with magic, but now is not so much. Is like it has been scooped out. Now there is little, but is more empty room than magic left.” She made another noise, this time in what sounded like defeat. “Is not good explanation, I think. Empty pot is still a pot. But your friend without magic, he will not live.”
“Well, if that's the case we'd better saddle up an' get this mess fixed right now,” Applejack said with conviction, getting to her hooves.
“I know this is very upsetting,” Rarity spoke up at this, “but if we could just focus back on reality for a moment, shouldn't we be prepared? Believe me, I am just as anxious to try and set this right as you are, Applejack dear, but we can't just lose our heads.”
“Meaning what?” Applejack asked impatiently.
“Meaning, that although this does indeed put some considerable strain on our time, it does not change the fact that we still need rest and supplies,” Rarity got up and walked over to Applejack, giving her a sad but encouraging smile. “I understand how you feel, but we cannot ignore the fact that we are also ponies who need rest and food. Thundering off into the night with heroic intentions won't be very helpful, I'm afraid.”
“Rarity's right,” Twilight nodded as she slowly regained her composure.
Applejack gave a long, aggravated sigh, “Yeah, I know she is. But dangit! I feel right useless just sittin' around after hearin' all this!”
“It's... really not the greatest news we've heard on this trip,” Twilight admitted, her ears lowering.
“Is he gonna be ok though?” Rainbow asked, as she got up as well, her wings adjusting themselves on her back. “I mean, is he gonna be ok to get to Kerry-whatever? Will he be ok until we get this over with?”
“I don't know,” Twilight said, turning to look at the troll woman.
She had stood up again and was currently scratching around in her pile of dishes, pulling out a series of small, round bowls made of nondescript pottery. Hearing the question, or perhaps simply anticipating the ponies' worries, she turned to look back at Twilight.
“It is better you hurry, I think,” She said as an answer, leaning over the small pot of tea. “You get there quickly, it will be better for everyone.”
“Maybe he should stay here and wait for us 'till we get back,” Rainbow went on, turning to the troll woman too, as if for support. “I mean, running around with us to go beat up some wacko pony who probably has a ton of magic isn't gonna help him feel any better, right?”
“If he ain't doin' well 'cause magic's fadin' away, I don't think sittin' around here is gonna make that big a difference, Rainbow.” Applejack said. “'Sides, even if it was, I don't think we'd be able ta get him ta stay put.”
“Not even if... I dunno... what if we ask Fluttershy to stay with him, or something?” Rainbow faltered, adjusting her wings again.
“We can't do that Rainbow Dash. We need Fluttershy to use the Elements of Harmony,” Twilight shook her head to clear her thoughts. “No. No, I don't think we can really do much more to help him,” She straightened again with a small degree of authority. “What we can do though, is double our efforts and head for Kerry Shire as fast as we can. We can't change needing to sleep and eat, but we can try and speed things up. We're going to need to scrap the idea of heading to Dartmoorton first. It's not like a doctor's going to be much help, we know that now. As for food, we'll have to make do with what we can find on the way.”
Twilight turned back to the troll woman who was handing a sniveling Pinkie a small bowl of nettle tea.
“Is there any way we can ask you to help us with some basic supplies? And, if it's not too much trouble, a place to sleep for the night?”
The troll woman straightened, taking the rest of the bowls and slowly circling the room, handing one to each of the ponies as she spoke. “You can sleep here. Is no good walking more in the dark. Food I can give to you, but I will ask you give to me something too.”
“Like what, may I ask?” Rarity said, nervousness clear in her voice as the troll woman put a bowl in front of her.
The troll woman pointed one of her twig-like fingers at Twilight. “You don't have magic right now, but you are different from your friends even so. You give me feather from you and one from your spirit friend. I use for my things I make.”
It was Twilight's turn to adjust her wings as she tried to fight back a suspicious frown. “What'll you do with them if we give them to you?”
“I don't know yet,” The troll woman said. “No need to use such things soon, but one day could be important to have. Is difficult to find. Is better to ask for them to keep for later than look for you again when I need.”
Twilight made a thoughtful noise at this. “You're not gonna use them to hurt anypony or do something to me or Discord, are you?”
The troll woman gave a series of jerky, dry noises as she laughed. “No reason to hurt you if you are not here. No. I use for something else some time. Is too hard to find ingredients to waste on hurting others. No, I keep them. I use them some day, I think. But that day is probably far away. I will wait for it.”
Twilight gave a nod, although she still looked unsure. “I guess I'll have to take your word for it. If you help us, and don't do anything to hurt us tonight when we sleep, we'll give you what you want.”
“Just don't give her a primary,” Rainbow Dash muttered as she sipped on her tea with a dejected expression. “It'll screw up your flying.”
Twilight nodded. “You got it, Dash.”
“Do you think Discord and Fluttershy are ok out there?” Pinkie piped up suddenly. She was craning her neck from where she sat to try and see out one of the cottage windows, although why she was trying to see out of a shuttered window was anypony's guess.
“They've been gone kinda long... yeah.” Rainbow agreed, turning to stare at the door again.
“Perhaps I should go check on them,” Rarity offered, putting down her bowl.
“No, I think I'll go,” Twilight said, turning to leave.
“You won't... like... fight with him about this, will you?” Rainbow Dash asked, watching her.
“No,” Twilight said without missing a beat. “I won't.”
Night time had fallen on the world outside. Inside, the fire pit had kept them in a cocoon of warmth and light. Twilight was a little surprised when she saw how dark it had become. Stars shone brightly overhead, not having to compete with any ponymade light. The orange glow streaming from the doorway and through the cracks in the shutters made it feel to Twilight as if the small house was the biggest and brightest thing in the entire world, pointing out where she and her friends were to any pony and animal within miles. The idea of having a very large, muscular troll nearby did not seem all that bad, suddenly.
She looked around the immediate area as she trotted away from the fire's light, letting her eyes adjust. After a short search she spotted Discord and Fluttershy in the back garden near the cliff edge. She could make out Discord wrapped around Fluttershy who looked very much like Spike in his basket within his coils.
Twilight headed towards them, glad to see they were together. At least Discord hadn't shooed Fluttershy away after she followed him. Twilight wasn't really sure why that mattered, but somehow it did.
Fluttershy must have heard her hoofbeats because she lifted her head and turned it towards Twilight. Seeing her approach, Fluttershy shifted and waved a hoof at Twilight with a shake of her head.
Twilight stopped with a puzzled frown. She tilted her head at this in a silent question. Fluttershy responded with a sheepish smile and a small, defeated shrug before shaking her head again.
Twilight pulled a face at this, looking the two of them over, but after Fluttershy put her front hooves together in a sign of pleading, Twilight sighed, rolled her eyes and turned to head back to the cottage. She gave her friend a smile when she saw her mouth the words 'thank you'.
Satisfied that the two of them seemed, at the very least, to be keeping each other company, Twilight headed back indoors. She gave her shoulders a slight shake as her skin prickled at the change in temperature once she was inside.
“Are they ok out there?” Rainbow Dash was quick to ask, putting down her bowl of tea.
“Looks like it,” Twilight nodded with a sigh, sitting back down close to the fire and pulling her own bowl closer again. “Fluttershy waved me away. I'm going to guess Discord's not in a very talky mood at the moment. Looks like they're going to sleep outside tonight.”
“Oh.” Rainbow said.
“He probably feels super weird right now,” Pinkie said with a firm nod. She seemed to have gotten over her dismay and was now guzzling down her drink. “He's kinda shy, you know.”
Applejack nearly choked.
“Really,” Rarity said flatly.
“Oh sure!” Pinkie nodded. “Why else would you run away as soon as everypony starts staring at you like your head's on fire?”
“Pride, I should think,” Rarity said.
“Same thing,” Pinkie shrugged, downing the last of her tea.
“Well, whatever his reason, I say we take the hint and get some shut eye as well,” Applejack said, removing her hat and putting it down to emphasise.
“A little early, isn't it?” Rainbow asked.
“Maybe, but the earlier we get some sleep the earlier we can get up and get goin' tomorrow,” Applejack went on, pulling her saddlebags closer and scratching around for her blanket. "I ain't about ta ignore this new detail, believe you me."
“I don't think I can argue with that,” Twilight nodded. “How about it girls?”
“You'll hear no complaints from me,” Rarity said as she pulled her own bag closer and fished out her comb. “A single day at that wretched town's spa is not going to get rid of these bags under my eyes.”
“Dibs on the bed!” Pinkie called out, hopping over before pouncing and sinking into it.
“Uhm... Pinkie.... I dunno if that's the best place ta-” Applejack started.
“Is better than sleeping on the floor,” The troll woman interrupted, a crooked smile on her face. “I tend to my pot. I don't need to sleep yet. Don't need as much sleep as ponies.”
“I still don't think-” Applejack tried again.
“In that case, scootch over Pinkie,” Rainbow said, getting up and heading over. “There's more than enough room for two of us.”
“Maybe three, if you don't mind,” Rarity added as she headed over as well. “I don't mind taking the floor if there isn't enough room for us all, but I'd far rather use a soft bed while I can.”
“I think we're outnumbered, Applejack,” Twilight gave her a smile.
Applejack just sighed as she got up to follow them.
Despite the sun being far too low to shine light down into the gorge, the noise from the flock of swallows living along its walls was still loud enough to wake Fluttershy up. She was surprised she had managed to fall asleep at all.
She remembered spending a long time lying awake, cradled in her nest made of Discord as the horrifying reality of the situation spun around in her head. She remembered stabs of almost physical pain each time the thought surfaced sharply and clearly through all the muddled anxiety of everything else.
'Discord is dying.'
It was like a kick to her chest, and she could feel every ounce of her flinch each time the words bubbled up in her mind. If she had been lying in her own bed and not on top of Discord, she would have been rolling around the entire night, but fear of waking him up kept her still. Perhaps that had been for the best, as she was certain she would not have slept a wink otherwise.
Then again, simply lying still was probably not the only reason she had managed to relax. The soft, curled body under her rose and fell gently. The snake-like spiral trapped the warmth from them both and shielded Fluttershy from the cool night air and the early morning dew. She took in a long breath before letting it out again slowly, taking in the comforting feel of life wrapped around her. She then gave small, self-assured nod as she mentally pulled herself together. The time for fretting and despair was over. It was a new day today, and it was time to focus on solutions instead. Sympathy was important, but it alone was not going to be enough to help them. It was a day for action, for moving forward.
Fluttershy shifted, adjusting herself to lie a little better as she watched the swallows and swifts take wing and leave the gorge, heading out for the day. The sun was starting to clear the mountains, and she could feel the first warming rays start to reach them. Above her, thin white clouds of smoke and steam floated out of the cottage chimney. She could just make out the scent of cooked corn.
“I've been thinking,” A voice said softly beside her.
“Oh, you're awake,” Fluttershy blinked, rolling over carefully to peer over Discord's side to where he had rested his head on his paw and claw.
He gave her a sideways glance and a wide smile in greeting before he repeated, “I've been thinking a few things over.”
“Like what?” Fluttershy asked, putting one foreleg over the other.
Discord paused for a moment. Fluttershy felt the warm bed around her adjust before it uncurled slightly. Discord raised his head and gave a long yawn, stretching his arms out in front of him.
“I've been thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, I might be able to trust you on this.”
“Oh, really? Uhm... on what exactly?” Fluttershy pushed herself up before carefully stepping over him and standing back up on solid ground again. She gave her mane a slight shake before she stretched out her wings.
Discord unwound and stood up, putting his paw and claw on his back and cracking his spine back into place. He turned to grin at her, popping his knuckles as he watched her try and get her mane back under control. Without a comb, or anything other than hooves, she didn't seem to be having much luck.
“A few things, actually,” He went on. “Firstly, I suppose I can trust that our little... erm... heart-to-heart will remain between the two of us?” He twirled his claw in the air as if to establish he didn't really care too much either way. “Now, I know your little pen pal group with Celestia is probably great fun, and I'm sure she would be absolutely tickled pink to hear how much of a milksop you've turned me into, and all the deeply moving lessons we have learned, but really. It's not as if all that much happened last night. We only had a conversation. No need to bother her or, say, any of the others with insignificant details or anything of that sort.”
Fluttershy smiled as she watched his show of putting up airs. “I don't think anything we say to each other should concern anypony else. I wasn't going to say anything. Not... well.... unless you wanted me to, I mean. But uhm... I didn't think you did.”
Discord gave a placid nod at this, but she could see his shoulders sag in relief. “Good, good. Glad to see we're on the same page, my dear.” He perked into a smile again as he reached down and started pulling stray strands of mane out of her face. “I was also thinking I could trust you to dissuade any troublesome questions that might come our way. Of course, normally I would have no problem telling others all about myself, but I think perhaps it would be better if we focused on this little mission instead. Now, I know they will all most likely be very disappointed by this but,” He sighed dramatically, putting a claw over his chest, “Our priorities must lie on what our dearest despot, Princess Celestia, has sent us forth to do. I'm sure they will understand if you explain it to them.”
“Alright... I think so,” Fluttershy giggled lightly as the two of them walked back to the cottage together.
“Perhaps I should write a tell-all book about myself instead,” Discord went on. “I'm sure Twilight would be very excited about that. Anything in binding seems to catch her attention, after all. And it would save me the trouble of having to repeat my life's story to multiple ponies over and over. Not that I would mind that too much, but I do have other things that require my time.”
“That sounds like a nice idea,” Fluttershy nodded. She was quiet for a moment before she gave him a small glance again. “Is that everything you thought of trusting me about?”
“No,” Discord answered, but he didn't elaborate, and Fluttershy didn't press him.
He threw open the door noisily to the cottage and bounced inside. The single room of the troll woman's home was thick with the smell of cornmeal porridge and herbal tea.
“Good morning, my fellow intrepid travellers!” Discord announced as the others spun to face him, some with their cheeks stuffed. “Everypony set to face down this 'Blue Bird' fellow and tell him to cut out these shenanigans of his?”
“Uhm... I think it's 'Blue Jay', actually,” Fluttershy corrected him as she followed.
Discord waved a paw at her as he plopped down in front of the pot, ignoring the dumbfounded stares from the others. “Blue Jay, Blue Bottle, Blue Moon, whatever. I'm famished! We wouldn't happen to have any nutmeg to go with this, do we?”
As the troll woman hurried herself with finding another pair of bowls before Discord took the whole pot for himself, Fluttershy sat herself down quietly beside Twilight.
It took a few moments before Twilight noticed her. She hurriedly gulped down her mouthful of porridge before she leaned over and asked, “Everything alright, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy said nothing for a moment, thinking the question over as she watched Discord 'helpfully' try and find a bowl for himself, only to cause the precarious pile of pots to collapse all over the floor.
“No...” She answered thoughtfully, “Not right now, maybe. But I think they will be.”
“That's... not exactly comforting,” Twilight pulled a face at her.
“I know,” Fluttershy admitted, “But it's true.”
The troll woman had done her best to fill the group's saddlebags with everything edible she had. Almost all of it was something that had been dried in the sun, but at least there was a lot of it. The troll woman gave hearty assurances that if they were to boil the plants and herbs, it would make a very filling soup that would last them much longer. With words of thanks and the promised payment of alicorn and draconequus feathers, the group took to the road once again. They headed in the direction of the bridge that crossed the gorge and would lead them on to whatever remained of Kerry Shire.
The mountain road was weathered and lonely. Thick, slow moving clouds rolled overhead, casting dotted shadows over the valleys and hills ahead of them. They passed an unreadable signpost which pointed its bleached names in meaningless directions. They were travelling slower than they had been when they started their journey from Canterlot, but each step was planted with hard determination.
Conviction and determination. It was thick in the air around them. It hung like a cloud as they marched onwards, fighting back despair and fear which threatened to overtake them if they so much as gave it half a thought, or a second glance.
Well, that went better than I expected. Can't wait for more!
That you're not as bad at this as you tell yourself you are?
My wonderful writer-friend, you are exceptional at this. This is the best story on this website, and there is not one thing I would change about it.
Feel proud. Feel might with a pen in your hand!
I have to say...You know what? This chapter? I love it just as much as the last one, I think. And I think it's because of what Discord said, with the trust and his 'putting on airs' thing. I don't know, it was so...authentic and genuine. And it showed that this is serious business now, that Fluttershy herself is afraid, and so are the others (Applejack's sudden determination was surprising but still in-character and a sweet thing to read, she can be just as loyal as Rainbow can) so that it's go-time now. And the image of Fluttershy watching the birds, thinking about the warm life wrapped around her...Beautiful.
And yes, I'm afraid I have to bring out my inner fluttercord lover. Just the fact that Discord felt the need to put on so much air about it, and say things like how what happened was no big deal, that it was just a conversation...My inner fluttercord can't help but think, "Oh, but Discord, why need to explain such a thing? Are you suggesting that something else could have happened?"
I know this is a fic about friendshipping only, but I can't help it... But it doesn't matter, because friendship is just as important to me as love, and this story is what MLP is all about, and this story is ranked #1 to me on both this website and fanfiction and any other site dealing with MLP fics. Thank you so much for the update, despite the past couple of weeks being hard on you. I hope you have a better week soon, you deserve it.
What is Discord's life story in this fic? I know he's a spirit, but just that, or something more?
Still feels a bit like stalling, but interesting. Kind of curious what a troll would want pegasus feathers for. Somehow I don't think she's after a spare quill.
Dat red herring.
I love it, true this chapter wasn't anything important but your right it follows the pace that you've set from the rest of the story and it bridges the sentimental moment over back into the adventure quite well. But damn do i love those sentimental moments, i look forward to those even more than the action i think, and im a huge action junkie Keep up the good work this is probably my second favorite but you would probably be first if it wasn't for the sheer length of my first favorite which is over 50 chapters long now but take comfort in the fact that yours is actually consistently better as their are a few rather meh sections of the other mostly in the beginning. but whatever point is your awesome, would also love to see more of your adorable fluttercord art.
5178608
True, while i was on the "now kiss 0_o" mode this entire scene i can understand that some writers want to keep it as subtle or neutral as possible. I mean friends are important too but i like to think that Fluttershy would be somehow more heartbroken about Discord death than Discords other friends. Dash and Rarity are also his friends but there is some special connection between him and Fluttershy. Either romantic or family connection. Both of them could really work in this story so far. And hey, dont blame me for shipping them, even IDW comic writers do fall for this couple so not even mention a casual shipper like me
5178608 Thank you so very much for the kind words and support ;w; It really really makes me so happy to hear! I truly am working as much and as hard as I can to make this story as good as I can. That goes beyond just writing what is read here or the odd picture or two. You don't even want to see my stack of filled notebooks and the hours I've put in trying to improve my technical skills involving writing So it truly truly makes me happy to get back such feedback. It makes me feel this is actually worth my time and bouts of emoness to keep going with this.
5178923 Thank you very much I'm a giant stickler for keep things in canon, especially characters, so it makes me very happy to hear you feel I actually keep them behaving like, you know, actual people. I always try and let characters be the ones that run the plot, not the other way around, so it makes me happy to hear you're enjoying that part of this.
5178950 I would give an answer to this, but it may spoil upcoming things. If you still want to know when things are revealed please ask again.
5179106 So you say. But what would you have done to follow the previous chapter? Have them immedietely face the head bad guy the very next chapter?
5179935 Heh heh, well thank you I'm so happy people enjoy this story so much to give it high praise. And I'm very happy to hear I'm not the only person who writes ridiculously long stories on here
5180547
5178608
The thing is though... why is a romantic relationship better or somehow "more"? Because both parties want something that personally gratifies them? Does that make it more meaningful? Why is loving someone without the need or want for anything physical and only wanting that person to be happy and near you even if this gives you nothing physical in return considered 'not good enough' or 'just a prelude to something else'? What makes romance that great anyway, when compared to a friendship where you may get nothing, but you're just happy the other person exists?
Basically what I'm saying is;
5180609
Well for me romance is a special kind of friendship, the one you cant share with other friends and somehow make that one friend marked as "the most liked, trusted, reliable and basically a glove for your hand". Romance is not some kind of game where either guy or girl is trying to "score" and laugh like a dumb Beavis and Butthead. Romantic kiss is just the highest form of affection, basically advanced hug for chosen friends, a sign that you care somewhat more. Friends= plural, it mean that whatever Fluttershy is doing for Discord would do for any other of the mane6. Friends are equal, you cant like one friend more the other without distinguishing that friend with romantic feelings. That doesnt mean its a worse connection than love. Altruistic friendship is also noble feeling but its just doesnt serve as a believable form of commitment. Beside, why wouldnt some 2 friends who like eachother choose this form of affection? Is sex somehow degrading for them? Is a kiss very different from a hug? Is intimacy ruining what kept them together? If you have two single people who cant live without eachother and are already inseparable then would it be logical for them to basically look for other less liked characters to marry instead marrying eachother? Mulder and Scully from X files were a good example since they were portrayed as friends for entire show even though most people were shipping them. They understood eachother, cared for eachother and saved eachother lives countless times. It was a perfect friendship that probably coudnt go further because of a job they were both doing and coudnt afford to have feeling for one another. But would romantic relationship be bad between them if they both retired? Would there be a possible guy on this entire planet or universe that would be loved by Scully more than Mulder already was? Why is love unnecessary? Friendship is basically drinking a tea with someone. Love is drinking a tea and eating cookies with a chosen someone. Limiting yourself to friendship to somehow preserve it seem pointless because love is already the strongest link for two being than any friendship. it doesnt destroy it, it just double or triple it. Kisses and naughty things are just a signs of affection to please your friend with simple physical pleasure, not a goal to please yourself.
5181014 I suppose that's one way of looking at it, but I'm not entirely sure I agree. To me, a friendship with that one person, above all others, is so much more precious than a romance with the same person. Because there is no second guessing as to WHY the two of you are so close. There's no questioning about whether either parties are getting played, or if there's ulterior motives, or any confusion as to what you yourself feel for another person. You love them, and you want nothing in return. Absolutely nothing. You just want them to be. That alone is enough.
I'm not interested in shipping characters at all. I'm really not. In the world of fiction it almost ALWAYS cheapens a relationship, or boils it down to the lowest common denominator. It becomes average. It becomes mundane. It becomes messy. And it makes me lose interest in the dynamics between two characters. To me, a deep, earth-moving friendship gives me so much to admire and care about and analyse and look into the complexities of WHY two characters are so inseparable when there seems to be no personal gain in it. That's what makes it so special and meaningful.
When romance comes along it just, quite literally, fucks it up. And all I can think is “Oh. They wanna bang. Way to dumb down a relationship so it's easier to swallow by the masses and rob it of all its complexity and meaning.”
People as a whole eat up 'romance' like candy. This dumbing down and mass consumption of an emotion like this has tarnished it for me beyond repair. It's boring. It lacks texture. It lacks depth. It's just a ploy to clap and squeal and jump through the hoops of “they totally like each other” that are so firmly set in place and never ever EVER shift. A deep friendship can be so many things. A Romance is generally just one.
You may not share this opinion and you have absolutely every right to. I encourage it. But I see no point in shipping two characters based on the idea that romance alone will somehow make their feelings and love for each other 'better' or 'more important'.
5181014
5178608
It's ok though, you guys don't have to agree with me at all. I just wanted to say my side of it since I know it's not a very common or popular opinion to have about the matter.
5181244
Ah, i see what is the problem. The neo internet crowd that see romance as some clop material or cheap mundane story damaged your faith in romance as a whole. While it is true that love stories are so popular and numerous that they basically created this site and most of it is so repetitive that you can just use a program to randomly ship ponies and add default love story plot. I understand you may be sick of this but you shoudnt throw away enitire romance as a whole based on crappy mundane stories. Romance can be beautiful and compelling if written well. Its like getting rid of sex entirely because porn industry made it into a fake flesh pleasure with no feelings. If we let ourselves remove everything from human part of emotions because it was overdone in pop culture then soon we will start to praise the idea of two strange people just not killing eachother. Because the idea of friendship, love, passion will soon be overused. I personally glorify the idea of romance being born from good friendship since i despise the love stories like FlashLight or Twilight where 2 characters just "fall in love" and thats it. I hate romance with no substance where physical attraction is the main part of relationship. That kind of romance is what would probably made me think the same way as you do. However i still believe that good romance exist and that you can actually feel what that pair is feeling, getting that emotion and bond through their experience. Not because "lol now kiss becasue you stand next to eachother xDDD" but because "kiss is appropiate reaction to what she/he just said". This is just my humble take on things, i didnt imply that you should start shipping them in that story or in the future. Actually this story may serve as a good take on relationship of pure unconditional love that just lack intimation and im okay with it. (Even though if i was in Discord or Fluttershy head, i would personally simply get more affectionate toward a soulmate and i woudnt care if some people around me thought that my emotions toward him/her are cliche or mundane or some shallow kids think that i do it to "fug")
5180547
5180609
Oh, I'm not saying one is better than the other, I hope I didn't give such an impression. Trust me, I know one isn't better. Honestly, I'm just a romantic. It's what I love to read, and the whole concept of love just makes my heart go a-flutter. But that does not mean that romance is more important than friendship. If you've read my other stuff, one of the things I always strive to convey (since my stories are all romance/OTP fluttercord fics) is that while yeah, this is a shipfic, that doesn't make the friendship any less valuable to both of them. One of the things I hate the most in the world is when a friend gets a significant other and then, oh, hey, that's it. Don't need friends anymore. See ya, suckers.
I hate that. Friends are a special kind of relationship. One that's...Well, not only does what you say, C-Puff, ring somewhat true, it's also more...sturdy? If it's a really true blue friendship, and you establish that you will always be friends and know it's true, then you've got 'em for life. You can not see that friend for years, but that doesn't mean you don't love them anymore. Not at all. With romance, eh, it's a bit harder to do that.
But in another light, it's not as if friendship is entirely selfless either. Like romance, all relationships are both selfish and selfless, if it's an important one. That person makes you happy, and that's something you want because of your own happiness. You still get that in return. So does the other friend. Romance does ask a lot more from you, but friendship still has benefits for both parties. But one does not go over the other.
I'm just a romantic that dreams of getting married one day, is all. ^_^ And besides, it's not like they have to be in love to be an amazing story with deep, loving emotions between the two. Like I said, I wouldn't change a thing about your story, C-Puff, and that includes the part where there's just friendship in this. That's not important to the overall tone, feeling, and message of this story. I love the relationships you have between Discord and all the mane six. I want to see him become friends with all of them. Yes, I'll always love his friendship with Fluttershy the most, but after the finale, I want to see him buddy up with all of them. And you're giving a very accurate portrayal of how that could possibly happen. I was so touched by Applejack's determination to get going and help Discord. I have also loved the development of Discord's relationships in particular with Twilight and Pinkie Pie.
Like that scene with Pinkie Pie somehow ending up on the tree with Discord? And in her own Pinkie Pie way knowing what Discord's true intentions were back in the cave--that he saved her because he truly cares about Fluttershy because he sees ehr as his best friend, that he's capable of loving his friends (and I do mean that platonically, I swear, lol), and it's not because he's selfish and just wants to protect his own hide--that was so, so beautiful. Because Pinkie can be hard to do. You have to show her happy-go-lucky self, while also showing that she isn't some airhead that just dreams of jellybeans and balloons all day. She has insight, and in some ways, more insight than others. That wasn't portrayed as well in the fourth season (though I certainly don't hate Pinkie, I still love her, so what if she doesn't always pick up social cues and acts rude sometimes? She certainly didn't mean to be rude, I'm sure!) but she still has it.
I'm rambling now, but I just don't want anyone thinking that romance is the epitome of what makes a story good, or that a romantic relationship is the best kind of relationship there is. Yes, if I had to choose, I'd make fluttercord a romantic pairing, I won't lie. Like I said, I'm a romance addict. But in terms of fluttercord, the only reason I got to that point is because I loved them as best friends first. I didn't even ship them until I saw the finale. But you don't need a romantic relationship to convey that the characters love each other in some way, shape, or form, and to still deeply care for one another. And you can't have a story, particularly in this fandom, that doesn't incorporate friendship in some way--not if it's a multi-chapter that has all the mane six as important characters. And you're doing it beautifully. Both types of love, platonic and romantic, are beautiful. They're just different...And yet the same.
5181376 Conred, I agree with you, all the way. Yes. Yes. Yes. If I knew how to add a gif, I'd do that "slow clap it out" one.
And for me...I hate clop. I read a rated-M one the other day, with Fluttercord...Well, I didn't read it, but I read the beginning, and it was sweet--just two friends helping each other--and then it turned to this...this porn that I myself couldn't take anymore and it disgusted me. I only clicked on it because I dunno, I thought it'd be...softer? More emotional? Nope. Wrong. Just clop. *shudders*
But I agree with Conred. Yes, romance is...well, with the media, it's an instant attractant for the audience. But that doesn't mean it has to be the most important thing. It just entertains us.
But what's so wrong about clapping your hands, 'squeeing', and such, at a kiss scene? What's so wrong about getting those warm fuzzies? People just like it. But Conred and I certainly don't want to try and push you to do it. We'll still love your story. I know I will. Like I said...don't change anything. Stay with your vision. You're doing amazingly.
But I do see why friendship is so beautiful to you, more than romance. And friendship IS beautiful. And in terms of someone who has faced a life of loneliness and the fear of not mattering, like Discord...Any meaningful affectionate relationship he has with someone is beautiful...Especially when they understand why he does what he does, why he is who he is. When you understand something like that, and you still love them, no matter what kind of love that is...It's beautiful. In fact, yes, I'll even say it....You know what it is?!?
It's MAGIC.
5180609
I can't say really, I tend to be indecisive about lots of things. I just feel like eighteen (18) chapters is a lot of build-up for what seems like a relatively simple problem, with a relatively simple solution. There's someone with some kind of mental issue using a powerful artifact for nominally nefarious purposes, just get over there and: knock them over the head and take it away from them/use the elements of harmony to fix the problem/some variations of those two avenues and similar actions. lThere's a sense of contrivance to take a long time to reach the source of the problem. Maybe the pacing is wonky, if you meant this to feel like a long trip. If it's meant to seem like some kind of epic plot to destroy all magic, it's not really working. Yes, the idea of no magic at all is scary, world mangling, and somewhat disturbing, but there doesn't seem to be anything well organized about the attempt.
WELL! after a healthy dose of chapters, exceptional written plot, and world creation, I find myselfcaught up up to date...and sincerely loving this story. i hope it will be updated soon and with enthusiam! To be honest, this is the first "discord" related story i decided to push my curious nose into, and I am more then pleased that I did. the characters are realistic, with honest reactions and well kept feelings. The timing for humor couldn't be placed better, and the plot twists are rather unpredictable, leaving me the ever so joyous option to 'gasp' and 'ooh' and ah'(something fanfictions have not given me in QUITE some time)
i await the next chapter with increasing excitement.
Denma.w
5183512
Thing is, with no magic, both learning anything about the problem and transporting themselves to the location of the problem should take a lot of time. There's no teleportation, no way to scry for the problem, and no book would have held the information they wanted. Maybe they could have used the balloon for transportation... but assuming that you could potentially be up against someone hostile suggests that a balloon is a terrible idea. Without magic, one arrow and four of the ponies run a serious risk of being killed (maybe Discord's strong enough to catch them all, but Fluttershy can't carry one pony down from the height of a balloon safely, let alone two, and Rainbow probably couldn't carry two, so if they were in a balloon and it got shot down, they'd be depending on Discord to carry three of the ponies down and Rainbow to get the fourth.) Ground travel is safer... and since the ponies didn't know Discord is running out of time, they weren't aware of a time constraint. (And Discord himself seems to have thought he had more time, before he got shot.)
So the only way to shorten this up is to cut the description of the transit (like, "After many days they reached Coltchester")... but the whole point of this story is the character development. The road trip exists only to give them a lengthy period of time in close proximity to each other without the distractions of daily life or the power differentials that their magic would have given them. The story's not about the epic quest to restore magic; the epic quest to restore magic is the frame that allows what the story is actually about, which is the way the group dynamics change over time as the Mane 6 have to work and live with Discord. Thus the pacing is perfect for the actual reason the story exists, but I can see that if you were perceiving the plot as the story's purpose, rather than the character development, then yes, you'd perceive it as too slow.
I can't begin to tell you how much I love this story.
It's wonderful and shamefully I check every couple of days to see if a new chapter has been uploaded since when a chapter ends it makes me wanna read more!
I'll be waiting for the next one! Keep it up!
Ah bridges... Well I have no complaints, this chapter does its job well enough.
5184159
I am going to have to echo your sentiments, even though I have read plenty of Discord stories.
I finally caught up myself and I can't say anything against this. I look forward to the next chapter of this more than I look forward to my own birthday at this point.
I love it SO MUCH! Looking forward to the next chapter.
5181376
5181579
Sorry, this isn't gonna be a long reply but I just wanted to say that yes, I think I have to agree with you here. My issue is not exactly with romance itself, but rather the dumbing down of it in media, ESPECIALLY fanfiction. Romance is the biggest genre in fanfiction and, unfortunately, a LOT of it is extremely simplistic or just downright bad. But more than this, the entire media franchise; movies and cartoons especially, romance is such a cop out easy way to try and get the audience to care and it's almost always done in a very shallow, uninteresting way. Part of it can be blamed on time constraints I suppose, there's only so much time in a movie, but I think most of it is because it's usually used as a way to get the audience to care without putting a lot of effort into character development. What doesn't help is that almost always the relationship is shown in an unrealistic manner. If there is one thing I cannot stand its fakeness, and that is almost always how relationships are portrayed. There's no genuineness to it at all. It's all roses and chocolates and syrupy nonsense that, frankly, just makes me yak. It's not about the people involved in the relationship, it's about the relationship itself. Also, usually when a romance is introduced it has a tendency to completely take over the plot and derail whatever else was going on.
But thank you both for writing your thoughts and opinions on the subject I think we understand each other a lot better now, and it gave me quite a bit to think about and make me properly question WHY romance in media annoys me so much beyond the reasons I already knew.
5183512 Once again, I have to emphasise that this story is NOT plot driven. The plot is there as a structure, but it is not the point of the story or the main focus. That lies with the characters and their relationship with each other. I would almost go so far as to say the plot could be inconsequential. However, in this case it IS important, but only as a way to poke the character's feelings. Plot is not the point, nor was it ever meant to be.
5184159
Thank you so very much for the kind words! I'm so very happy you're enjoying it!
5185115 Thanks Alara I cannot express how happy I am that you seem to really understand my feelings and where I'm coming from with this story. It means a real lot to me
5187716 Haha! Well I'm so glad! I try my best to update every weekend but sometimes life gets in the way, if that helps your compulsive checking at all
5191567
You don't even know how much i agree with you. I have read a lot of fluttercord stories and yours is probably my favourite even though it it doesn't even contain real romance.
I mean, i liked Bride of Discord or other stories but i noticed that there something lacking in most of them. Usually every story begin already with Discord or Fluttershy having a crush on the other and story is about a way for them to confess. Its a common flaw of most romances. It tell you to like this pairings without reason for you to like it unless you already ship it. What i personally love is the bonding. The entire amount of time that was cut from the beggining of the story. Why she love him? What did they came through? What kind of dialogues did make them fall for eacother? Why is she different from other friends? How much do they understand eachother without even talking? Literally every fluttercord story should have use your story as an intro to their fanfics and probably even add 2 similar adventures before starting to develop romantic relationships. Considering only that what happened in tv show is too little for this romance since they know eachother only few months(according to Meghan, 6 months past between EG1 and EG Rainbow Rocks) and Discord betrayal only prove that they arent that much close to eachother. I love when their romance is just a beginning of the end of a story, a satisfactory conclusion. They dont need to even be a focus, they can just interact in the background or as secondary beta pair. The reason why people ship it because they were developing in few episodes, not because they immidately fell in love like Twilight and Flash, who love that kind of romance anyway?
Kim Possible look like a good example of developed romances. Kim didnt fall for Ron in the first episode, Drakken mostly disliked Shego and vice versa. Yet numerous adventures and happenings made them understand eachother more, their friendship grown so much more until the point where they didnt want to ever leave eachother. The romance became a natural conclusion and not a goal of this series. Its wasnt cliche and mundane, it was just natural that she would fall for Ron rather than other pretty higschool student one day. He was already like her right hand, same with Drakken and Shego, and viewers got that.
From other FimFIction stories i also reccomend Ahuizotl/Daring Do adventure story
Daring Do and the search for the Winter Pearl there are some cheese romantic moments like they are both forced to fake marry eachother for plan to work or sleep in one bed but overall story is very in-character for both of them and pairing feel genuine.
5191567
5191715
I'll make this quick too. I agree with both of you. While I do really like BOD, when I read it a second time, I realized that it moved too quickly. It doesn't explain exactly why Fluttershy loves Discord, or what Discord finds so attractive about her. He says "I thought you were different", but what if another mare had come? I feel like Pinkie would have been nice to him too after a while, and Twilight or Applejack after a certain amount of time. There is some character development and bonding moments, but I realized that you're almost halfway through when Fluttershy even starts getting to know Discord. Don't get me wrong, I still really like the story and the videos are even better (because she adds a bit more to it and it's more like a movie, which has time constraints, so you can forgive any lack of development, and DF worked so hard and it turned out beautifully and the actors are great), but a long, developmental romance...Sometimes you're just like "UGH JUST LOVE EACH OTHER ALREADY", but it's more realistic and makes it all the more whole and solid when they finally do. A friendship that slowly turns romantical-like = best romance!
And yes, I hate it when the romance is all that seems to matter. That's one of the reasons I DO still like BOD- because Fluttershy still loves her friends and makes them a priority. Friends matter too!!!! They're just as important!
And clop....UGHghhgGGGGHhhhHGGGGHhhh NOoooooOOOOOOoooOOOOooo ewwwwwww. (not that it's bad if others like it, just....I can't.....No. No. NONONONO Why the heck is Fluttershy there SHE WOULD NEVER UGHGOWEJOWJRWPOEJEIWWE)
5193076
Meh, i don't mind clop if they are in character and its a part of the story and not made on the spot just to show porn. Though only the story called "Chaotic love" had it implemented in such way. I mean we like romance and all but those little fillies need to be made somehow and i doubt that storks are bringing them to Equestria
Even Mr and Mrs Cake did that between 1st and 2nd season.
5191567
Honestly, that's kind of dumb. One, a story without plot focus I would hardly consider a story at all. Two, I'd like to point out that the way you've written it is misleading. It does not read as an examination of the relationship between Discord, the mane six, and each other, at least not until the latest bit where their progress is halted by concern for DIscord's well-being.
As an addendum, you can examine those relationships without them needing to be the primary focus. In fact, that happens to some degree with the characters that interact in any given story.
5193556
Arguably not minding clop if "they are in character and its a part of the story and not made on the spot just to show porn" IS by definition a description of romance and not of clop. Last I checked clop = porn unless you use a broad definition, where clop = sex in general.
5193881
Yes i meant clop as sex scenes or explicit content in a story, those happen sometimes even if story doesnt focus on graphic sex content and its just a one chapter. Those chapters usually get additional warning and possibility to skip them. Romance sex scenes are more of a softcore like in Titanic movie and i dont really count them as clop.
Also, theres the "adventure" tag, the story is delivering what was tagged. An adventure. Its kind of the point to see them interact in different scenarios and various dangers. Just like Indiana Jones in his movies. Discord character is the main focus along with how he feel about mane6 and what they think about him. I think the main plot serve to take away his powers and make him more vulnerable ans to actually talk with them instead using jokes and teleporting away. Something he always do in tv show until Tirek made him lose his powers. Discord always wear that mask of a clown that hide his true intentions and feelings and C-Puff is writing a story to remove it. At least thats my take on it.
5194251
My problem is the creation of a faux objective, just so we can talk about Discord or at least how the author seemed to be describing it. A -real- story would have a plot about the loss of magic, with interesting character development rolled in rather than interesting character development with fragments of a loss of magic plot thrown in. Perhaps it could be viewed as proportions thing and this thing is more like a ratio of 1/4 : 3/4 whereas I'd rather it be 3/4 : 1/4 or maybe 1/2 : 1/2 of the elements noted before in that order.
There is of course a minor dilemma in that implication of the show is that chaos is Discord's true intention and his feeling are largely fun (chaotic) or bored (non-chaotic). The canon Discord is a little flat, perhaps less so than canon Celestia, but flat nevertheless. It's less of removing an existing mask than using inserting more depth, but initially hiding behind an author constructed mask that resembles the Discord of canon.
5195330 Summary of first paragraph: There is only one way to write a story
Summary of second paragraph: The characters need to be written more one dimensional and flat.
I really can't fav this enough! I love the friendship between Discord and Flutters, too cute for words I spent the whole day reading this..oops. But I can not wait for more and I'm too excited I'm practically falling off my chair. Ahh much excite!!!!
>Incomplete
derpicdn.net/img/download/2012/10/19/126482__safe_animated_screaming_the+horror_scream_millie.gif
5200227 Applesauce. Good old applesauce, brings back memories...
5256229 ....?
I spent a while trying to figure out where Fluttershy got a hood from, before I realised it was supposed to be 'hoof'... I think.
Probably a typo.
Sent of cooked corn? Its spelled scent.