A pair of tiny hearts pounded rapidly in time with the frantic hooffalls of their respective owners as Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara sped across the grassy fields and dirt roads of Ponyville side by side. They ran so far that they left the high rent district behind them and were now running through the middle of town.
Silver Spoon felt that the distance they had cleared was great enough to chance a look behind them. Without stopping or slowing, she turned her head. Even with the moon and the few lampposts they had passed as her only light source, she could tell that there was nopony chasing them.
“Di,” huffed Silver Spoon, facing forward once again. “We’re... far enough... away. I think we... can stop now.”
“No,” huffed Diamond Tiara, her overworked forelegs a blurred tribute to the act of locomotion. “We’ll stop when... we reach... the police station.”
Silver Spoon slowed down to let Diamond Tiara take the lead. Once she had fallen behind, she caught the end of Diamond Tiara’s tail in her mouth, bit down, and planted all four hooves into the dirt road, raising a medium-sized dust cloud in the process. Diamond Tiara grunted as she tried to press onward with her forelegs. Unable to gain any ground, she turned around and looked at Silver Spoon,
“What are you doing?” asked an irritated Diamond Tiara. Silver Spoon released her friend’s tail from her mouth.
“Di, we’re not ratting Pinkie out to the police.”
“Like Tartaros we’re not! She told us she wants to kill us! Doesn’t that alarm you?”
“Of course it does... but what she did wasn’t normal for her. She could have just been delirious from being dehydrated... or maybe the potion she drank at Zecora’s was a poison and she’s having hallucinations.”
“She sure seemed healthy enough to me; at least healthy enough for attempted murder. I doubt she’s gonna give up just because we got away from her once.
“I understand how you feel but-”
“But nothing! I’ll be damned if I’m gonna sleep with one eye open until she keels over of old age. She needs to be behind bars!”
“Hey, you fillies go on home if you’re gonna yell like that at this hour,” said a stallion whose voice came from one of the nearby houses. The girls turned around to see that it was Mr. Breezy who had spoken to them from the front door of his home. He was dressed in his sleeping cap and pajamas and looked none too pleased about being disturbed from his slumber.
“Sorry, Mr. Breezy,” said Silver Spoon. “We’ll be quieter; we promise.”
Mr. Breezy nodded once and went back inside his house. Diamond Tiara eyeballed him with mild suspicion.
“You know that stallion?” asked Diamond Tiara in a softer voice.
“Sure, that’s Mr. Breezy,” replied Silver, using the same lower volume as Diamond Tiara. “He owns the town fan shop. I wandered in there one day and had a short chat with him. Decent guy. Funny, too.”
Diamond Tiara looked around to confirm that Pinkie was not around.
“Guess we really did made a clean getaway, huh?” she asked.
“That is what I was trying to tell you earlier.”
“Oh; what did you hit her with, anyway? She dropped like a rock back there.”
“Hm? Oh, with my hindhooves.” Silver Spoon shifted her weight forward and demonstrated by kicking her hind legs out at the air behind her. “I bucked her in the hoo-hoo.”
Diamond Tiara sputtered, closed her eyes, and then quickly covered her mouth with her forehooves. Silver Spoon got the impression that Diamond Tiara was weeping but she was actually laughing.
“You... you gave Pinkie Pie a cunt punt,” she whimpered, trying her best to reduce the volume of her laughter.
Silver Spoon blushed and smirked.
“What did you want me to do; try to take her on in a fair fight? I did the first thing I could think of to stop her before she hurt you.”
“Well, it worked.” Diamond Tiara wiped her eyes with her foreleg. “I owe you one.”
“You can repay the favor by hearing me out.” Silver Spoon pointed to Diamond Tiara’s harness. “Do you have any idea how much faster than you I can run with that thing strapped to your hind legs? I could have left you in the dust while she was busy wringing your neck but I went back for you because you’re my friend. I will never give up on my friends.” Silver Spoon stood nearly nose to nose with Diamond Tiara. “So, do you respect that kind of devotion?”
“It saved my skin so I guess I have to.”
“Okay.” Silver Spoon raised her right foreleg and pointed in the direction from which they initally fled the sewer. “Pinkie is also my friend.” She placed her foreleg back on the ground. “I’m not gonna let either of you come to harm if I can help it and I’m gonna help either of you when I think you need it.” Diamond Tiara turned her head and kept quiet as Silver Spoon spoke further. “I have an idea that doesn’t involve the police. Let’s go see Princess Twilight instead. We can tell her that we spotted Pinkie Pie going into the sewer... but we were never attacked.”
Diamond Tiara turned her head back to face Silver Spoon. She opened her mouth in an attempt to rebut with a protest but Silver Spoon cut her off by plugging her mouth up with her right forehoof.
“We were neverrrrr.... attacked,” reiterated Silver Spoon sternly.
Diamond Tiara frowned and took two steps backward, freeing her mouth of Silver’s hoof. She gently spat a blade of grass from her mouth and failed to suppress a grin.
“You put grass in my mouth just now,” chuckled Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon grinned and giggled.
“I did?” she asked. “Hee hee hee. Sorry about that.” When the incident had lost its comedic novelty, Silver Spoon continued telling Diamond Tiara her idea. “I’m almost positive that Princess Twilight isn’t gonna call the police to catch Pinkie unless there’s absolutely no other way to catch her themselves. I’ll bet that they won’t even wait until morning to go in after her. She and her friends will bring Pinkie back to the surface where they can look after her. If there’s any hope for her to be cured, it’s with them.”
“But what if she can’t be cured?”
Silver Spoon shifted her jaw as she contemplated that possibility.
“If she can’t be cured and she’s still Tartarusbent on killing us, then I guess she’ll have to be institutionalized. That’s kind of the same as being locked up.” She wrinkled her brow and bit her lip wistfully as she waited for Diamond Tiara’s reply.
The pink earth pony filly rolled her eyes, closed them, and hung her head. Silver Spoon fidgeted as Diamond Tiara remained uncharacteristically silent for a while.
“All right,” she said resolutely as she stood up straight and reopened her eyes, blinking several times. “I think my idea is a better long term solution but – because she’s a friend of yours, we’ll handle this your way.”
Silver Spoon blinked.
“W-We will?”
“Yeah, but let’s hurry, okay? I’m exhausted. I want a shower and a bed as soon as possible.” Diamond Tiara’s eye caught the moonbeams bouncing off the massive crystal star atop the Castle of Friendship. As she trotted in its direction, Silver Spoon followed her.
“You’re seriously gonna do this my way?” asked Silver Spoon.
“Yeah. Is that so surprising?”
“Very. I didn’t think you’d go along with it without putting up more of a fight. You’re usually pretty insistent on doing things your way.”
“What are you talking about? I let you have your way sometimes.”
“When? Name one time.”
A smirk crept up on Diamond Tiara’s face.
“I let you have that ice cream float once.” She rolled her eyes innocently and scrunched her lips to suppress a smile.
“You were SUPPOSED to let me have that ice cream float, you gooney bird!” squawked Silver Spoon, half-appalled and half-amused by such an outrageous statement. She sidestepped into Diamond Tiara to shove her playfully with her shoulder and Diamond Tiara chuckled at the reaction. “It was mine to begin with and you swiped it from me right in front of my face.”
“Okay, you’ve made your point. Well, you’ll be happy to know that you’ll be getting your way more often. I’m a changed filly now and it wouldn’t do me any good to ignore the wise advice of my best friend or my PR pony.”
Diamond Tiara’s ear rotated as it detected a sniffle. She stopped walking, turned around and saw that Silver Spoon had fallen behind. She was standing still and crying softly. Diamond Tiara’s ears drooped and she gave an irritated sigh as she walked back to her emotionally distraught friend.
“What now?” bemoaned Diamond Tiara, taking care not to sound too harsh.
“I’m sorry,” whimpered Silver Spoon as she raised her glasses with her right forehoof and rubbed her eyes with her left. “It’s just that... now that I have time to think about it... I’m sad that you couldn’t confide in me about what your female parent did to you.”
Diamond Tiara facehoofed.
“Oh, for the love of– You’re beating yourself up over that?” Silver Spoon nodded. “Well, don’t. If none of the foal psychologists that my dad took me to see could break down my walls, nopony could. Keeping it to myself had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.” Her expression softened. “But if it makes you feel any better, if I had ever decided to let my guard down and confide in anypony, it would have been with you. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can give you more details about her if you want.”
Silver Spoon reached out and hugged Diamond Tiara’s neck.
“When I think about somepony hurting my beautiful Diamond’s feelings... it hurts me.” She lifted her glasses with her right forehoof, rubbed her eyes, and returned her foreleg to the task of hugging. “And when the pony who hurt you was somepony who should have loved you... I’m just so sorry I couldn’t help you.”
Diamond Tiara grinned. She lifted her right forehoof and patted Silver Spoon’s foreleg.
“Hey, what’s done is done.” Diamond Tiara unwound her friend’s forelegs from around her neck, prompting Silver Spoon to place her forelegs back down to stand on all fours. “I appreciate the thought but there was nothing that anypony could have done about it, let alone you. We were both really little. Plus I’m pretty sure you were going through your own stuff with your parents at the time.”
Silver Spoon nodded. She sniffled and wiped her nose on her foreleg.
“Mm. Y’know, when I was younger, I used to cry when my parents left the estate because I missed them and wanted them to stay. But when I got older and stopped crying when they’d leave, I remember thinking ‘why doesn’t it bother me anymore when they go away?’ and I guess it was because I was old enough to understand that they didn’t care. Whether I cried or didn’t cry, they left me behind every time to go back to their studios. Why bother getting upset over it, right? Now, I’m likelier to cry when they are around.”
As they stood eye to eye, Silver Spoon recoiled slightly at an inexplicable frown that had formed on Diamond Tiara’s face.
“Remember when I said I didn’t mind forehead kisses?” asked Diamond Tiara.
“Y-Yeah?”
Diamond Tiara’s frown revealed itself to be false as a grin quickly took its place. She lay her right foreleg behind Silver Spoon’s head and gently pressed down to lower it. Silver Spoon found her snout nearly touching Diamond Tiara’s chest. One moment later, she found her heart and soul instantly transported to a sea of pure bliss as she felt an angel’s lips grace her forehead for the first time.
Diamond Tiara released Silver Spoon and took a step backward. Silver lifted her head and stared blankly at Diamond Tiara. With a single forehead kiss, her friend had wiped away her sorrows and, as she felt her face turn bright red, she wondered if her beautiful diamond was truly aware of the level of power that those lips had over her. There was some bittersweetness that came with the knowledge that she would never feel them press against her own lips but not enough to sully this moment. If this was the closest thing to a kiss as she was ever going to get, she would treasure it for as long as she lived – and dare to hope for many more just like it.
“Now can we get a move on before I collapse from exhaustion?” asked Diamond Tiara as she resumed her trip to the castle.
Silver Spoon shook her head vigorously to return herself to the here and now.
“Y-Yeah, sure,” she replied, shuffling along after her to be by her side.
“Hey, after we wrap things up with Princess Twilight, do you wanna sleep over tonight?”
“I’d love to... but I’ll need to run back to my house to let Bertram know that I’m spending the night at your place.”
“Okay. Want me to tag along?”
“Sure. I have to be back at my place early for tutoring tomorrow morning so we can’t stay up too late, okay?”
“No argument here. How’s that whole home schooling thing going, by the way?”
“Not too bad. The tutor’s a really nice guy. Now that we’re friends again, were you still interested in enrolling in his classes with me?”
“You bet. I just have to talk to my dad about it and he’ll get the necessary paperwork drawn up and all that. Oh, say, do you remember Zippoorwhill?”
“Zippoorwhill... Zippoorwhill...” Silver Spoon pushed her cheek out with her tongue, lost in thought. “Where have I heard that name before?”
“The first runner-up in the LME pageant?”
“Oh, yeahhhhh; that hyper pegasus filly who kept hovering above the stage every three minutes.”
“Uh-huh.” Diamond Tiara grinned. “She and I are friends now.”
“Really? When did this happen?”
“Earlier today.”
“Is she here in Ponyville?”
“Nah, I bumped into her at the Canterlot train station. She’s in Las Pegasus.”
“What were you doing all the way in Canterlot?”
Diamond Tiara hesitated.
“Shopping.”
“Did you get anything cool?”
Diamond Tiara hesitated again.
“My new tiara.”
“Ah. Did Zippoorwhill have anything to do with you apologizing to me?”
“I’d say she played a part in it; yeah.”
“Huh. Then I guess I owe her a debt of thanks.”
“She remembers you, you know.”
“No kidding?”
“No kidding. And she totally wants to hang out with both of us.”
“Well, can you blame her? We are pret-ty cool, after all.”
“Yep. Oh, and she’s a filly-fooler, too. Who knows; maybe you two will hit it off and start dating.”
Silver Spoon shot Diamond Tiara a look of suspicion.
“You are so lying,” blurted Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara grunted.
“You’re getting better at seeing through my lies,” she remarked with a smirk. “Stop that.”
As they made their way to the castle, Diamond Tiara ground her teeth. Silver Spoon was not as good at detecting lies as she led her to believe.
And that suited Diamond Tiara’s needs just fine.
“Goodness gracious!” exclaimed Rarity. “Why, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many tiny stones set in a single piece! I’d love to know the name of the jeweler who cut them.”
Fluttershy smiled nervously and fidgeted in her throne as Rarity held her foreleg while enthusiastically inspecting her diamond wedding bracelet with a jeweler’s loupe. She was in the company of her best friends minus the still missing Pinkie Pie. This late night gathering in the throne room was for the surprise announcement to Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, all of who were unaware that their friend had recently tied the knot.
“Here’s what I’d love to know,” stated Rainbow Dash as she glared at Fluttershy. “Have you lost your mind?” The irritated weather pony hovered over the map table with her forelegs crossed over her chest.
“Oh, go easy on her, Rainbow Dash,” said Rarity as she continued to inspect the diamonds set within the bracelet. “Fluttershy is a smart, independent young mare – and it’s every mare’s prerogative to better her station in life by whatever means are available to her.”
“Oh, um, actually, Rarity,” said Fluttershy, “I signed a prenuptial agreement before Richie and I eloped. I’m not legally entitled to any of his money.”
Rarity’s loupe fell from her eye and swung pendulum style from the chain around her neck.
“I see.” Rarity closed her eyes, cleared her throat, placed her forehooves on either side of Fluttershy’s face, and squeezed her cheeks together. “HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!?”
Fluttershy gently pushed Rarity’s forehooves away.
“No, I haven’t,” declared Fluttershy. “It was my idea to have the prenup written up, you guys. I want Richie’s love; not his money. Applejack, Rarity; you two have been my friends since I came to Ponyville. And Rainbow Dash; you’ve been my friend even longer than that. Have any of you ever known me to be motivated by money?” Nopony answered.
“You sure as Tartaros weren’t motivated by common sense,” posited Rainbow Dash. “You married a murderer... and you tricked me so that you could go through with it.”
The butter yellow pegasus glared at Rainbow Dash.
“Yer talkin’ about her husband, Rainbow Dash,” stated Applejack tersely. “Show a little respect.”
“Well, excuse me, but murder’s a pretty hard thing to overlook.”
“So is this,” muttered Rarity as she rolled onto her back and took Fluttershy’s wedding band foreleg between all four hooves, cooing as she marveled at the tiny diamonds with her loupe again.
“Rainbow does kinda has a point there, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “Ah’m all fer romance an’ all that mushy stuff... but marryin’ a fella who confessed ta murder? You’ve gotta understand that we’re more than a little worried aboutcha.”
Rarity sat up, removed her loupe via telekinesis, and cleared her throat.
“Now, Fluttershy, darling, I mean no disrespect to you or your husband,” she said. “but, exquisite baubles aside, I feel that Applejack speaks for all of us. You’re such a sweet, trusting soul and, as your friends, we’re simply looking out for your best interests. The timing of your marriage is rather... um... shall we say... unfortunate?”
Fluttershy didn't answer Rarity. She was still glaring at Rainbow Dash.
“You think you’re so much better than my husband, don’t you, Dashie?” asked Fluttershy.
“Hah! Do you even have to ask? I know I’m better.”
“Applejack? Do you think you’re better than Richie?”
Applejack scratched the back of her head and chuckled awkwardly.
“Well, ah mean, ah don’t go around sayin’ ah’m better than anypony but ah ain’t never beat a pony ta death, neither... so there’s that.”
“See?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Applejack gets it.”
“So you all think you’re better than Richie,” stated Fluttershy.
“Just a moment,” said Rarity. “You didn’t ask me.”
“Did I need to?”
Rarity closed her eyes and primped her mane.
“Heavens, no... but you should have asked me regardless. It’s rude to exclude me.”
“Well, since it’s unanimous, I’ll give you all a chance to prove just how much better than him you all are.”
“And we’re gonna do that how, exactly?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“By having you participate in a demonstration. Twilight? The sack and pointer, please.”
Twilight nodded. She telekinetically opened the compartment under Fluttershy’s throne and removed two items: a filled burlap sack and a long, smooth wooden stick. Fluttershy used her mouth to pluck the pointer out of the air as Twilight rested the bag on the edge of the map.
“This is a chalkboard pointer,” stated Fluttershy. She held it in her hoof and lifted it for everypony to see. “It’s similar to the one used by Cheerilee.” Fluttershy looked at Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. “The first part of this demonstration involves me hitting each of you once across the backside with it.”
Rainbow Dash squeaked and quickly placed her forehooves over her rear end.
“What kind of sick demonstration is this?” she asked.
“I’m not doing it for fun,” replied Fluttershy. “I’m trying to prove a point.”
“How does whacking my butt with a stick prove a point?”
“Get down here and I’ll show you.” Fluttershy
Rainbow Dash reluctantly lowered herself to the floor and stood on all fours.
Rarity blinked nervously and primped her mane as she approached Fluttershy.
“Ah, Fluttershy, darling, I’d, ah... I’d like to decline to be a part of this demonstration,” said Rarity, smiling nervously. “It’s not very... ladylike.”
Fluttershy shook her head.
“All three of you are participating,” she declared.
“Three? Why does Twilight get a pass?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Because she understands that she’s not better than anypony; not even my husband.” Twilight gave a halfhearted grin. “Now if there are no further interruptions, I’ll begin.”
“You’re taking this awfully well,” said Rainbow Dash to Applejack.
“It’s just one smack,” noted Applejack. “Shoot, ah remember mah Granny Smith givin’ me a lickin’ one time fer playin’ with her kitchen matches. Sure learned mah lesson. Ah never went near them matches again.”
Fluttershy walked behind Rarity. Sweat drops raced down the unicorn’s forehead.
“Oh, are we... starting with me?” she asked nervously.
Fluttershy wound her foreleg back and struck Rarity’s rump with the pointer. The sound it created rent the silence of the throne room like a clap of thunder.
“YYYES!!” screamed Rarity with elation.
Everypony turned to silently stare at Rarity whose face was crimson with embarrassment. Her eyes shot around the room to meet the eyes of her friends who were quite puzzled by her reaction.
“Y-Yes... is... what you should have said before hitting me,” noted Rarity softly. “I was expecting you to answer me with a ‘yes’ first so that I could brace myself for the impact. I wasn’t prepared for – WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!”
The ponies who were looking at Rarity now looked away from her.
Fluttershy struck Rainbow Dash next.
“YOW!!” cried Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy then struck Applejack. The earth pony flinched from the discomfort caused by the pointer.
“Gold-durn-it, that smarts,” she grunted, rubbing her rump with her right forehoof.
“Did you have to hit me so hard?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, she hit me just as hard as she hit you, ya big baby,” Applejack reminded her.
“Yeah... but my rump is lean. Yours can take it because it’s so huge and fat.”
Applejack neighed at the insult.
“You need ta getcher eyes checked cause this here rump o' mine gets worked off daily from sunrise ta sunset!” she barked. “The only fatty deposit around here is the one between yer danged ears.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash suddenly flinched. They turned to look at Twilight. The alicorn looked at them with a grin and waved. Having no interest in calling forth Twilight’s Royal Canterlot Voice again, the bickering friends shelved their argument for another time.
“Now, on a scale of one to five,” said Fluttershy, “raise your foreleg if you would rate the pain you felt from the pointer as a one.”
There was no response.
“Two out of five?”
Still no response.
“Three out of five? Four out of five?”
The three participants raised a foreleg.
“So it’s unanimous; getting hit with this thing even once isn’t very fun. To a foal, it would hurt a lot more so add two to that number you selected. Now follow me.” Fluttershy flew to the map table and the girls walked there to join her. “Okay, the witnesses stated that Diamond Tiara got hit for a little under a minute straight before the attack stopped. We’re going to simulate the duration of that attack. I’m going to hit this bag of Critter Chow with the pointer for fifty seconds straight.”
“That’s what it’s called?” asked Applejack, raising an eyebrow and wrinkling her nose. “Just ‘Critter Chow’?”
“Yes.”
“No brand name or nuthin’?”
“It’s government issued so no.”
“How many different species o’ critters’ does Critter Chow feed?”
“A few.”
“How many is a few?”
“Around... thirty, I think.”
“Thirty? How’s that even possible?” She walked to the bag and examined it. “Shoot, ah might have ta get some o’ this fer mah farm animals if it feeds that many. Probably cut down on expenses.” Applejack turned the bag upright and held it as she looked at the ingredients on the label. “Well, wouldja look at that? There’s dried apple in this.”
Fluttershy struck Applejack’s hoof with the pointer. The blow was not intended to cause harm as Fluttershy could have easily hit one of Applejack’s more sensitive body parts. Startled by the sound, Applejack retracted her forelegs and released the bags.
“Focus, AJ.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Now, as I was saying, I’m going to hit this bag repeatedly. You all felt how badly it hurts. As I hit it, I want you all to close your eyes. Rainbow Dash, every time you hear this bag getting hit, I want you to imagine somepony hitting Scootaloo on the bottom with the pointer, okay?”
“This is weird but... okay.”
“Applejack, I want you to imagine the same scenario except with Apple Bloom.”
“Mah little sis would never do what Diamond Tiara did ta Cheerilee.”
“I’m not suggesting that she would. All I’m saying is that you imagine she’s being hit.” She turned to face Rarity. “And Rarity, picture Sweetie Belle in the same situation. Ready?” Fluttershy approached the sack on the table and nodded to Twilight. The alicorn princess conjured a wall clock and levitated it above the table within sight of Fluttershy. “I’ll begin as soon as the second hand on the clock reaches the twelve.”
The second hand reached the twelve and Fluttershy began to hit the bag repeatedly. The mares blinked from the sound of the first strike upon the bag. They associated the hit they felt on their rumps with a similar strike on their loved ones. They knew that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had no love for pain and would easily be brought to tears within the first three strikes of the pointer.
“That’s ten seconds,” noted Fluttershy without pausing in her assault on the sack. “Picture them screaming.”
The thumping of the pointer against the burlap bag went on.
“Twenty. Picture them crying.”
Fluttershy maintained a steady pace.
“Thirty. Picture them bleeding.”
A dust cloud of pulverized chow was now wafting through the air.
“Forty. Picture them so scared that they lose control of their bladder.”
After a few more seconds had passed. The thumping finally came to an end.
“And that makes fifty.”
Fluttershy placed the pointer on the table and caught her breath. She coughed and flew to a small refreshment stand where she poured herself a glass of ice water. She chugged it down, dabbed her forehead with a cloth napkin, and returned to her friends.
“Fifty seconds is an eternity when you’re being hurt, humbled, and humiliated,” she noted. “Suppose that it was the Cutie Mark Crusaders who were attacked instead of Diamond Tiara. You love those fillies. Wouldn’t the news of their abuse make you sick? Upset? Furious? Out of your mind with rage?” Fluttershy’s long pink locks bobbed as she turned her head quickly to face Applejack. “Applejack, you said you’ve received a lickin’ from Granny Smith. Was that lickin’ fifty seconds long?”
“Nah. Three – maybe four seconds, tops.”
“Were they administered with something this big?”
“Nah. She just used a switch. It smarted somethin’ fierce as I recall but it didn’t smart nuthin’ like that there pointer did.”
“With that in mind, what if you had heard that the pony who sent Apple Bloom, your flesh and blood, to the emergency room was hiding in your barn? Could you contain your anger long enough to find a police officer?”
Applejack closed her eyes.
“Honestly? No.” She opened her eyes with a grimace. “Did Diamond Tiara really get hit fer that long?”
“At least that long. She needed over a dozen stitches to repair the damage done to her rump.”
“An’ she went ta the bathroom on the classroom floor?”
“With all of the students watching.”
Applejack swallowed and averted her eyes.
“Land sakes, Cheerilee.”
Fluttershy walked to Rarity. The unicorn was trembling slightly and covering her mouth with her left forehoof.
“What about you, Rarity?” asked Fluttershy. “You love your little sister every bit as much as Applejack loves her little sister. What if it was Sweetie Belle who was mercilessly brutalized and you knew where to find her attacker? Would you be able to calm down enough to gallop to the police station to report the incident and let the authorities handle it by the book?”
“I...” Rarity paused and averted her eyes. The corner of Fluttershy’s mouth curled in a brief smirk – for she new that the demonstration had had the desired effect on Rarity.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
Fluttershy left the unicorn to her contemplation. She approached Rainbow Dash next.
“And what about you, Rainbow Dash?” Rainbow folded her forelegs, flapped her wings, and hovered above the table once again. Annoyed, Fluttershy did the same and hovered beside her. “I know you too well, Miss Kick-Flank-First-And-Ask-Questions-Later. There’s no way that you wouldn’t leave a sonic rainboom in your wake to catch up with Scootaloo’s abuser if you knew where he or she was so you could teach them a lesson.”
Rainbow Dash pursed her lips petulantly and turned her back to Fluttershy.
“No comment,” muttered Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy grabbed Rainbow Dash in a hug from behind and beat her wings faster to account for the added weight she now bore. Rainbow Dash spat out a short yelp, unaccustomed to having her wings suddenly held still.
“If it means anything, I’m sorry I had to trick you,” said Fluttershy. “I hope you can forgive me some day.”
Rainbow Dash wriggled out of Fluttershy’s grasp. She flew under her own power again – and kept her back turned to Fluttershy.
“Don’t you worry none, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “Rainbow’s as tough as they come but when her pride’s wounded, she tends ta sulk fer a while.”
“Hmph,” remarked Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy sighed dejectedly. She lowered herself over her throne and sat in it. She faced her friends who had also taken their seats – Rainbow Dash included.
“It’s called parental instinct, girls,” said Fluttershy. “Animals that raise their young respond with deadly force when some dangerous predator threatens them. That instinct is invaluable because it’s what allows their species to survive. Ponies aren’t much different. Though we may be intelligent, that instinct is still imprinted in the back of our minds. If somepony or something tries to hurt the little ones in our care, the heart beats faster, the adrenaline pumps, and civility goes out the window. The response is primal, not logical.”
She looked at Applejack and Rarity, noticing that she had their undivided attention. Rainbow Dash’s mindset was not as easy to read; either she was listening while pretending to be indifferent or indifferent while pretending to listen.
“I’m not saying that Richie should have ended Cheerilee’s life,” continued Fluttershy. “You know me well enough to know that I don’t wish anypony dead. Nor am I saying that he did the right thing by ending Cheerilee’s life. I’m only saying that we all have ponies that we love and those instincts can temporarily override our ability to do the right thing. In the heat of the moment, things can happen. Just when Richie needed his rational thinking the most, he gave in to his instincts... but he wouldn’t have been put in that position in the first place if Cheerilee hadn’t hurt Diamond Tiara first.”
Fluttershy flapped her wings and left her throne, flying a few feet above the map table.
“Richie did a very bad thing to somepony who also did a very bad thing. That doesn’t make him a hardened criminal. He’s done a lot of good for the citizens of this town. He’s created jobs, he’s made donations to charities... and, yes, he took a life... but he did what any emotionally distraught parent or guardian in this town would have felt compelled to do. He went too far but I know in my heart that he’s no further threat to anypony who hasn’t provoked him by hurting his loved ones. And you’re going to think me lovesick for saying this but, oh... I just know that he didn’t marenap or rape Cheerilee. His story makes way more sense than what everypony thinks he did! I’d bet my life that he’d pass a Seeds of Truth test without batting an eye.” Fluttershy hung her head, closed her eyes, and sighed. “If only the seeds were admissible in court.”
She opened her eyes and looked at her friends.
“That’s everything I’ve got, girls. If any of you still think you’re better than my husband after my demonstration, I honestly don’t know how else to argue my point. I can only add that I know that I’m just as safe in his company as his daughter is.”
“We get where yer comin’ from, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “Honest, we do. And if you believe in his innocence ‘bout his other charges, then we support this marriage.”
“I once told that bully of a dragon that I’d rip him to shreds if he had hurt Spikey-wikey,” stated Rarity, breaking her silence. “If anypony or anything had tormented my little sister the way Cheerilee hurt Diamond Tiara...” Rarity bit her lower lip and shook her head slowly, taking her time to complete her thought. “...I’d do something terrible to them.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “Yes, Celestia forgive me, but I do believe I’d do something quite terrible to them.”
“Ya mean like sing ‘Diamonds of Three, How Ah Love Thee’ ta them?” asked Applejack with a sly grin.
Rarity smirked.
“Go to Tartarus, Applejack,” suggested Rarity.
Applejack chuckled and then turned to face Twilight.
“All kiddin’ aside; Twilight? Ah don’t know exactly whatcha can and cain’t talk about regardin’ the trial but this weddin’ has got to put you in an awful bind, seein’ as how you’re the actin’ judge. Ah mean, you might have ta sentence him ta aitch-ay-en-gee.”
“Not only can I spell, Applejack,” said Fluttershy, “but I’m also right here. You can say ‘hang’. I won’t be offended.”
“Right, got it, Shy. So, since you’ve been so quiet, sugarcube, I’m wondering how you’re takin’ this latest development.”
Twilight pushed her left cheek out with her tongue and retracted it. She grinned and broke her silence, hoping that Applejack, representing the spirit of Honesty, wouldn’t pick up on the half-truths in her answer.
“I’m okay with it,” she said. “And so is she. I’ve spoken to Fluttershy privately and she’s graciously agreed not to hold my final impartial decision against me. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into when we took on our respective... endeavors. And even if I didn’t see it coming, a princess must be ready for anything. This is just one of those anythings.”
“That’s right,” said Fluttershy. The pegasus flew to Twilight and placed her right foreleg across the alicorn’s shoulders for a side hug. “Naturally, I’ll be hoping for an acquittal but I know that Twilight has a job to do. I’ll still be her friend, regardless of the outcome. The magic of friendship is more important than one equine life – even my husband’s life.” Fluttershy looked Twilight in the eye as she she spoke. “We spirits of the Elements of Harmony have to stick together no matter what, don’t we, Twilight?”
The princess figuratively tucked away in Fluttershy’s back pocket nodded.
A familiar burst of light filled the room as Discord appeared beside Fluttershy.
“Have you lost your mind?” he asked his pal.
Rainbow Dash smirked and looked at Fluttershy smugly, pleased to see that even Discord, the king of nutjobs, could grasp the lunacy of this marriage to Filthy Rich.
“No, Discord, I haven’t,” sighed an agitated Fluttershy, rolling her eyes at being asked the same question.
“Really?” Discord appeared to be quite surprised by Fluttershy’s answer. “Oh. Then I have no idea whose this is.” Discord held out his eagle claw to reveal a pulsating brain he was holding.
The ponies took one look at the gray organ in his claw and screamed.
“Unless...” Discord opened up the top of his head like a jar and felt around inside his skull with his lion paw. “Whoops! Silly me. It’s my own. Ha ha ha ha ha!” He placed the brain inside his skull and closed the lid. “I should have known that it wasn’t yours by how dirty it was. So sorry for startling you like that, ladies. You might even say it was...” A pair of dark sunglasses appeared on his face. “... thoughtless of me.”
“You came here just ta make that pun, didn’tcha?” asked Applejack.
“Oh, don’t be such a silly pony, Applejack. I came to join your little soirée.”
“And who invited you, exactly?”
“I did, Applejack,” said Fluttershy.
“Oh.”
“So – what have I missed?” asked Discord as he brought his palms together and rubbed them back and forth.
“Our friend Fluttershy has eloped with Filthy Rich,” said Rarity.
“Oh.” Discord rubbed his chin. “Are you happy?”
“Very happy,” replied Fluttershy.
Discord smiled.
“Well, congratulations; I wish you nothing but happiness with your new family, my dear. Life is too short to do much else apart from pursuing happiness; especially when there’s so precious little of it to go around.” Discord turned to face the other mares with a half smirk. “But I suppose your pony friends have already embraced your decision and congratulated you, haven’t they?”
Fluttershy grinned.
“Not yet they haven’t... but I’m sure they were about to. Weren’t you, girls?”
“Y-Yes, of course,” stuttered Rarity. “Congratulations, Fluttershy.”
Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight congratulated and hugged Fluttershy. Discord looked over at Rainbow Dash who was once again hovering in place with her forelegs crossed over her chest and her back turned to Fluttershy.
“What’s with her?” asked Discord. “She seems upset.”
“It’s a long story,” replied Fluttershy with a smile.
“Well, with the multiple crises in Ponyville, I suppose I should count myself lucky to see anypony smiling at all.”
“Crises?” asked Twilight.
“Haven’t you heard?” Discord produced a copy of the as of yet undistributed morning edition of the Ponyville Express and showed it to his friends. “Four stallions were found burned to a crisp in a cave on the edge of the Everfree Forest and a poor innocent filly was mauled to death by some madmare while on a train traveling just outside of Ponyville.”
“Oh, my gosh,” quavered Twilight, holding her head in her forehooves.
Rarity gasped and squealed as she telekinetically grabbed the paper and brought it to her face to read it.
“Oh, my goodness!” Rarity looked at Fluttershy and grimaced. “Fluttershy!” She turned the newspaper around and showed it to her. “The filly was Zippoorwhill!”
Fluttershy gasped and held her right forehoof to her mouth.
“You mean that cute little filly that the Pony Tones sang for at her cute-ceanera here in Ponyville?” Rarity nodded as tears welled up in both of their eyes. Fluttershy walked to Rarity and held her with a foreleg as they both began to sob softly. “Oh, the poor dear.” Applejack closed her eyes, removed her hat, and held it against her chest out of respect to the deceased.
“Was this Zippoorwhill a friend of yours?” asked Discord.
Fluttershy sniffled and nodded.
“We met.” She dabbed her eyes dry with her mane. “She was just the sweetest little thing.”
“Oh, dear.” He sat on the floor with his head hung low. “I feel just awful about being the bearer of sad tidings.”
“Yeah, right,” said Rainbow Dash, flying into Discord and pinning him to the floor. “Are you behind all of this?” Discord looked up at Rainbow Dash.
“Behind all of what?”
“Twist, Cheerilee, Pinkie Pie, the GeRMs, the burned stallions, Zippoorwhill... this town has gone completely insane!”
“Rainbow Dash!” spat Fluttershy. “Not. The. Time.”
“It’s all right, Fluttershy,” said Discord. His body melted into a gray goo which seeped through the floor and disappeared. Unnerved by the disappearing act, Rainbow Dash stepped back. That same gray goo poured from the ceiling into a puddle which built and solidified into Discord’s usual form. “I don’t blame you for suspecting my involvement, Rainbow Dash. I don’t deny that I have a checkered past so I won’t hold your accusation against you. However, if you must know, I draw the line at burning and mauling ponies. It’s just not my thing; too icky. I may be the Master of Chaos but chaos doesn’t stem from me exclusively. It has a life all its own... or were there no problems at all in Equestria before I was freed from my stone prison?”
Rainbow Dash didn’t answer him. She hovered and seethed.
“You want a scapegoat,” said Discord. “That’s perfectly understandable. But I would appreciate it if you’d look for one elsewhere because I had nothing to do with any of the current misfortunes that have befallen Ponyville.”
Rainbow Dash flew to the refreshment stand and kicked it over with a grunt, sending the tumblers and pitcher of ice water crashing to the floor. Water, ice cubes, and glass fragments scattered all around the floor. Discord snapped the fingers of his eagle claw and had turned the shattered glass into a glass statue of himself dressed in a baseball uniform with his lion arm rearing back to throw a ball.
“Discord,” said Fluttershy. “May I please speak with you privately?”
“But of course, my dear,” replied Discord. Fluttershy turned her head to look at her pony friends.
“Girls, will you please excuse us?” she asked.
The others gave Fluttershy their consent in unison.
Discord and Fluttershy stepped into an adjacent room; one which Rarity called dibs on converting into a ballroom. After closing the door behind them, Fluttershy turned around and looked at Discord with tearlogged eyes.
“First, could I please have a hug?” wept Fluttershy.
Discord answered the question with a nod and an open pair of mismatched arms. Fluttershy flew into his chest and released a few sobs as he held her trembling body. She liked Discord’s hugs because he was large and strong enough to hold her as effortlessly as a father would hold his infant daughter. She had selflessly been a caretaker for the animals in Ponyville since she was old enough to apply for the position. It was nice to be in someone else’s care, even for a moment. Discord fulfilled this temporary role for her with no judgment.
“Okay,” she said. “I’m feeling a little better now.” The draconequus released her and she hovered where she was at eye level with him. “Discord, you know I don’t like asking for favors... and I would never ask you for one for myself... but... that sweet little filly had her whole life ahead of her. You and I haven’t spoken about your magic very much. I don’t know the extent of your abilities so I hope you don’t mind me bringing it up; is there any way at all that you could bring Zippoorwhill back to life?”
Discord blinked and sighed.
“I wish that I could say that you were the first pony to ask that of me,” he said flatly. “When Equestria was under my rule, there were still some ponies who swore their fealty to me... not that I cared where their allegiances lay... and they too asked for what you’ve asked of me when their friends or loved ones were facing imminent death.”
“Could you please just say yes or no?” spat Fluttershy.
“Please be patient, my dear. The question you’ve posed isn’t so hastily answered.” He stroked his chin whiskers. “Perhaps some visual aids would help illustrate the situation.”
With a snap of his eagle claw fingers, a tiny pointy-hoofed representation of Zippoorwhill appeared on the ballroom floor. It looked just like her. It even wore a tiny crystal tiara. Fluttershy stared at the dainty doll-like figure with fascination, grinning as it flew, leaped, and danced across the floor to a tune played from a music box that she could hear but not see.
“I could animate Zippoorwhill’s body to make her appear as though she had never died,” continued Discord. “And I could even erase all signs of her injuries and decomposition... but she would forevermore be a puppet attached to my magical strings, having no thoughts of her own; no whims, no dreams, no joy... no interests. A pale imitation of life.” The music box chimes played out of tune and played slower; as though they were played on a malfunctioning phonograph record.
The cuteness that Fluttershy saw in the Zippoorwhill figure had vanished. Its movements which were at first carefree and capricious were now eerie and morbid. What was life if not a joint venture of the mind and the body?
“And if my magic were to be temporarily disrupted – like when Tirek drained it from my body – then she would collapse like the decaying carcass she is; a most unpleasant surprise for anypony who might be with her.”
The figure fell to the floor and shattered into dozens of crystalline fragments which turned black and then faded away.
Discord held Fluttershy firmly by her upper forelegs and brought her close to his face.
“Fluttershy,” he said. “Look me in the eye and tell me that that is something you’d chance visiting upon a bereaved parent for the sake of an illusion and I will do this for you without hesitation... but know that the responsibility for the consequences of your decision will be yours and yours alone to bear.”
Fluttershy’s eyes shot left and right as she considered the hypothetical situation before her. Her mouth opened and closed. She sighed and rubbed her forehead upon making her decision.
“Never mind,” said Fluttershy.
Discord nodded slowly.
“As I thought. I am truly sorry about your little friend... but once a pony has breathed their last, there is no creature in all the world that can do anything about it... nor should there be, in my opinion.”
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” said Fluttershy.
The door opened and Applejack entered the room along with Rarity and Twilight.
“Hey, Fluttershy, we got to talking and we think that it’d be in yer best interests ta leave town fer the time bein’.”
“Leave town? Why?”
“The GeRMs, darling,” replied Rarity. “If they ever found out that you married Filthy Rich, things could get ugly. You could be harassed; maybe even attacked.”
Fluttershy looked at Discord.
“With the exception of Richie, his servants, his lawyer, and the judge who married us, nopony else outside this castle knows about our marriage... and nopony else will find out. Girls? Discord? I need you all to Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony about my marriage.”
“Not even Spike?” asked Twilight.
“Especially not Spike. As good a friend as he is, he has a history of letting information slip. Oh, I almost forgot.” Fluttershy removed her bracelet and hoofed it to Rarity. “Please keep this in a safe place for me, Rarity. Nopony will think it’s unusual for you to have something like this.” Rarity nodded. She levitated the bracelet and placed it securely around her own wrist.
“I’ll take care of it as though it were my own,” said Rarity. “And you have our word that nopony else shall hear about the wedding.” She turned to look at Discord. “Discord, dearest, do you remember when you asked me to give you fair warning about incoming girl talk?”
“Yes, of course.”
“This is your warning. We’re going to talk baby showers and such.”
“Egad!” squeaked Discord with a cringe. “Understood. If there’s nothing further we need to discuss?” Fluttershy shook her head. “Then I will take my leave. Ta-ta.” Discord quickly vanished.
“Isn’t it a bit early ta talk baby showers?” asked Applejack.
“Oh, I didn’t really want to talk baby showers,” admitted Rarity. “I just said that to get him out of here.” Rarity smiled slyly and nestled up against Fluttershy. “Sooooo... just between us girrrrrls... would you say your husband’s...?” She held her forehooves a certain distance apart from one another. “Ah? Somewhere in that ballpark?”
“Rarity, you are so bad, girl!” said Applejack. “Why are ya tryin’ ta embarrass Fluttershy like that? Ya know she ain’t gonna share that information with...”
Fluttershy giggled and blushed as she placed both of her forehooves on both of Rarity’s forelegs and spread them farther apart to the approximate length in question.
“Sweeet Celllestiaaa!” marveled Rarity with an open-mouthed smile.
“Whoo, doggies,” said Applejack, biting her lower lip and blushing. “That’s aaaa... that’s a purty... impressive...” Applejack narrowed her eyes in incredulity. “Seriously?”
“Mm-hm,” peeped Fluttershy, covering her face with her forehooves.
“And does he know how ta use it?”
“Mm-hm,” peeped Fluttershy, still covering her face with her forehooves.
“Oh, yeah,” snorted Rainbow Dash sarcastically. “I’m sure Cheerilee appreciated every inch of your husband’s dick the whole time he was busy raping her. Did Filthy tie you up with duct tape, too? Or does he only do that to mares he’s about to bludgeon to death?”
Over the years of performing many different kinds of aerial stunts, Rainbow Dash was used to uncomfortable landings. Many of those were due to carelessness. This was not one of those landings. She landed flat on her rump and it was due to being kicked out of the castle over her sarcastic remark. The door slammed shut behind her, leaving the moon as her only companion this night.
“You know I’m right!” she yelled back at the door.
“Rainbow Dash?” said a voice. Rainbow Dash looked above her and saw Derpy relaxing on a cloud.
“Hi, Derpy,” said Rainbow Dash, flying to Derpy’s cloud and lying beside her. “You’re up late. Working a night shift?”
“I guess you could say that. What’s the matter?”
Rainbow frowned.
“Nothing.”
“Your friends kicked you out of the castle for doing nothing? That’s terrible. I get thrown out of my friends’ homes every now and then but I always did something first. Accidentally, mind you... but still.”
“Fluttershy went and got married to Filthy Rich.”
“She did?”
“Yeah, and get this: she even got knocked up by him!”
“Is she gonna have the baby?”
“Well, yeah, she’s married to the guy now; why wouldn’t she have the baby? She’d probably give birth to it tonight if she could. If Twilight didn’t have the guts to sentence Filthy Rich to hang before this, she sure as sugar won’t do it now. She’s putting on a good show; playing it off like she’s gonna remain impartial... but that stallion’s as good as free. And that sucks big time.”
“I’ll bet.”
“What frustrates me the most is that I’ve got loads of courage, plenty of speed, and lots of toughness... but when I’m up against something I can’t fix with those, I feel so ineffectual and stupid. Give me a huge monster to tackle head on any day of the week.”
“I understand.”
“I just don’t get it. I trusted Fluttershy. I’ve stood up for her... looked out for her all this time... and this is the thanks I get? How could she show me such... disloyalty? It’s like she doesn’t need me anymore.”
“She’ll always need you, Rainbow Dash. You’re one of her best friends.”
“Well, now she’s got a better friend: a marenapping rapist. Rape. Celestia, why does something as ugly as rape have to exist? It’s one of the worst things a pony can do to another pony next to murder... and Filthy Rich already confessed to doing that.”
“Yeah.”
Derpy winced and groaned as she held her midsection.
“S’matter?” asked Rainbow Dash, raising an eyebrow.
“I really have to poop! Too many oat bran muffins. See you around!” Derpy flew away, presumably to a bathroom or outhouse.
“O-kayyyy, thanks for sharing?”
Rainbow Dash spotted something on the ground out of the corner of her eye. She peered over the edge of her cloud and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon approaching the castle. Having nothing else better to do, she flew down to greet them.
“Hey, guys,” she said. “What brings you here so late? And without an adult?”
“Hi, Rainbow Dash,” said Silver Spoon. “We came to see the princess. It’s an emergency.”
“Oh. Well, don’t let me stop you.”
Silver Spoon tilted her head.
“Aren’t you gonna let us in?”
“Oh, I’m not standing guard or anything.” She glared back at the castle. “I’m just chilling out here until somepony with common sense comes out here to apologize to me for being right.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Forget it. Just give a knock on the door and somepony should let you in. As it stands, your chances of getting in there are actually way better than mine.”
“Oh. Okay then.”
“Hey, Diamond Tiara,” said Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah?” replied Diamond Tiara.
“You’re a real bitch, you know that?”
Silver Spoon was about to angrily protest the insult to her friend when Diamond Tiara held out a hoof to silence her.
Diamond Tiara stepped forward and approached Rainbow Dash. She looked Rainbow Dash in the eye. Silver Spoon watched her friend with great curiosity. There was a certain calculated calmness about Diamond Tiara's demeanor in the face of being insulted that Silver would never have guessed Diamond Tiara was capable of.
“I know that I was a real bitch,” said Diamond Tiara softly. “But I also know that I’ve learned my lesson. I plan on taking responsibility for the things that I’ve done.”
“Yeah, right; like I’m just gonna take your word for it.”
“I heard you were a hero, Rainbow Dash,” said Silver Spoon. “Is that any way for a hero to treat other ponies?”
“It is when they’re her.”
Diamond Tiara’s eyes shifted from side to side. She turned back to look at Silver Spoon.
“Relax, Silver. I’ve got this.” She turned back to look at Rainbow Dash. She grinned at the surly pegasus. “Hit me.”
Silver Spoon gasped.
“Di, what are you saying?” she asked.
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.
“‘Hit you’?”
“Are you from Cloudsdale?”
“Yeah?”
“Then I’ll speak slower. Hit.... Me.”
Rainbow Dash smirked and bit her lower lip.
“You’re pretty good at pushing ponies’ buttons.”
“No, I'm not pretty good at it. I’m the best at it. Now hit me.”
“Um, how about no? Call me crazy but going to jail for assaulting a minor isn’t my idea of a good time.”
“No one else needs to know that you took a shot at me.” Diamond Tiara kept facing Rainbow Dash as she spoke. “Silver Spoon, if Rainbow Dash hits me, I want your word that you won’t tell a soul.”
Silver Spoon’s lips quivered as she spoke.
“D-Di, I’m not gonna-”
“Your word, Silver Spoon. I want it. Now.”
Silver Spoon hesitated to reply to this nonsensical demand.
“Fine,” she said. “You... have my word.”
“There,” said Diamond Tiara. “You’re in the clear. Now hit me. That’s what bitches get, after all. I found that out the hard way. So come on. Hit a bitch. You know you want to.”
“Nice try. Even if I wanted to hit you - which I don't - there are sentries posted on the castle walls watching us right now.”
“So drum up some fog and block their view. Or, since they obey you and your friends, order them to keep quiet about it. Do I have to keep coming up with solutions for all of your simple problems, you dimwitted, rag-maned, piss-tailed, split-hoofed, manure-for-brains mule? Now hit me.”
Silver Spoon trembled. Diamond Tiara appeared to want to repeat history by goading an adult into a fit of rage.
"Aren't you a little young to be a masochist?"
"Aren't you a little old to be a cloudbuster?" Rainbow Dash's eye twitched slightly at the riposte. "From what I know of cloudbusting, it's an entry level dead end job for pegasi who haven't applied themselves. Doesn't it bother you that some of your friends own and operate their own businesses while you're living a hoof to mouth existence for a fraction of what they make? Pinkie Pie makes more than you."
Rainbow Dash reared her head back and laughed.
“Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha!” She smiled as she looked at Silver Spoon. “Is your friend on salt or something?” Silver Spoon could only shake her head and shrug. “Listen, I don’t have to stand here and take this from you. Good bye.”
“So now that you’ve run out of excuses not to hit me, you’re running away?” asked Diamond Tiara. “Why won’t you hit me? Is it because you’re scared of me? Who would have guessed that the great Rainbow Dash would be afraid of a little foal?”
“You’re a regular riot. And for the record, I’m not afraid of anypony; especially not you.”
“Then hit me.”
“Kid, I don’t know who you think you’re impressing with all of this but it sure isn’t me. I don't let namecalling get to me.” Rainbow Dash began to walk away.
“You thought I had it coming when I got my plot beat by Miss Cheerilee, didn’t you?”
“You sure deserved something... but maybe not that.”
“Then here’s your chance to administer some discipline to me in the right dosage. Hit me.”
“Bite me.”
“So you're opposed to hitting me but you're okay with hitting on me? Rumors confirmed.”
Rainbow Dash stopped walking.
“Oh, dear Celestia,” muttered Silver Spoon.
The pegasus flew back to Diamond Tiara with narrow angry eyes.
“Excuse me?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, come on, Rainbow Dash,” said Diamond Tiara. “Everypony in Equestria already knows what you’re too scared to come out and say. They’re just afraid to say it to your face. I’m not – but why bother stating common knowledge? So – new plan. If you’re not gonna hit me...” Diamond Tiara turned around and lifted her tail to reveal her bandaged plot “...then do to me what comes naturally to you. If it helps, you can pretend I'm Scootaloo.”
Silver Spoon shrieked internally.
Rainbow Dash growled. Her face grew crimson with rage. She spun Diamond Tiara around and plunged her nose into Diamond Tiara’s nose. Diamond stood her ground.
“Kid,” said Rainbow Dash through clenched teeth. “You are seriously working my last hoofing nerve right now. So shut your hoofing mouth before I-”
“Before you what? Before you hit me?”
Rainbow Dash hesitated.
“Don't put words in my mouth,” she grunted.
"What would you prefer I put in your mouth?"
"Shut up!"
“No! Hit me!”
“No!”
“HIT MEEEEEEEEEE!”
“NOOOOOOO!!”
"STOOOOOOOOOP!" screamed Silver Spoon. She ran over to Diamond Tiara and Rainbow Dash, wedged herself between them, and pushed them apart with her forehooves. "Just stop it, all right?"
“All right,” she said as she stepped back and swallowed to moisten her dry throat. “You win, Rainbow Dash. I didn’t actually want you to hit me. I mean, I said all that stuff to make you angry enough to where you’d want to hit me but I’m glad you didn’t go through with it. I gambled my well being on the fact that, even when pushed to your limit, you knew right from wrong. It was a lot to risk. You don't have to risk a thing gambling that I know right from wrong.”
Rainbow Dash scratched her chin as she pondered Diamond Tiara’s words.
“Wow," she said. "That made absolutely no sense whatsoever... but I do have one question. Were you really willing to take a hit from me just to prove to me that you’d changed?”
Diamond Tiara nodded.
“Or to prove that you were no better than the bitch I used to be; whichever came first, really... but like I said, I’m glad your hit wasn’t your first choice.”
Rainbow Dash smirked.
“You’ve got guts, kid; I’ll give you that. We’re not pals or anything but you’ve shown me that you’ve at least got guts... and that counts for something in my book.”
“Thanks; I gambled on that, too.”
“I’ll be keeping my eye on you in the future. And when you’re all grown up and I see that you haven’t changed after all...” She smiled. “...then I really will hit you; a lot. Deal?”
Diamond Tiara grinned.
“Deal,” she said.
Rainbow Dash spat on her own right forehoof and extended it to Diamond Tiara. Diamond Tiara spat on her own hoof and extended her foreleg to hoofbump with Rainbow Dash. Before Diamond Tiara could react, Rainbow used her saliva-moistened hoof to give the filly a wet willy.
“GAAAH!” cried Diamond Tiara. She lowered the side of her head to the grass and rubbed it back and forth to dry out her ear. “Ewwwwwww! Gross, gross, groooooooooss!”
“That was for calling me a filly-fooler,” said Rainbow Dash with a satisfied grin.
Silver Spoon held her right forehoof to her mouth to hide her snickering from Diamond Tiara.
“Rainbow Dash, what’s going on?” said Rarity who had just exited the castle door. “A guard stationed on the walls just informed us that you were out here having a yelling match with somepony.”
“Rarity, you know Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, right?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh. Yes. Hello, girls.” The fillies waved to Rarity.
“They’ve got something important to say to Twilight. Would you please escort them inside for me?”
“Certainly. Right this way, girls.” Rarity walked back to the castle door.
Silver Spoon sidled up to Diamond Tiara as they followed the unicorn into the castle.
“Di, that seriously could have gone really badly,” whispered Silver Spoon. “I was so worried back there.”
“A leader can’t be afraid to take chances,” whispered back Diamond Tiara.
“You’re not a leader yet. And if you keep pulling stunts like that, you may never get to be a leader. Promise me that you won’t try anything as dangerous as that with anypony ever again.”
“Silver, if I’m gonna accomplish any of the things I hope to accomplish, I’m afraid that’s a promise that I simply can’t keep.”
Fluttershy did a double take, surprised to see Rarity come back inside with the two fillies she brought along with her.
“Diamond Tiara? Silver Spoon?” The pegasus approached her stepdaughter and her stepdaughter’s best friend. “What are you two doing here at this hour? You girls should be at home in bed.”
“We know, Fluttershy,” said Diamond Tiara. “But we came here to tell you...” Fluttershy tilted her head, wondering why the pink filly seemed to be annoyed with herself. “...that we... saw Pinkie Pie.”
Fluttershy gasped and smiled.
“You did? That’s wonderful news!” Fluttershy turned her head. “TWILIGHT! APPLEJACK!”
The summoned mares ran into the hallway to see what the fuss was about.
“What’s goin’ on, Fluttershy?” asked Applejack.
“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon might have a lead on where Pinkie Pie is!”
“No kiddin’? Well, don’t keep us in suspense, gals; where’dja see ‘er?”
“We saw her climb down a stallionhole,” said Silver Spoon.
Fluttershy clonked herself on the head with her left forehoof as though the answer should have been obvious.
“The sewer! Of course! Why didn’t anypony else think to check down there?”
“Well, we know where she’s been hidin’. Now all we have ta do is drag Rarity down the stallionhole with... us?”
Rarity had somehow managed to dress herself in record time. She was sporting a fashionable spywear outfit.
“You’re goin’ with us inta the sewer?” asked Applejack. “Willingly?”
“Yes.”
“You feelin' all right?”
“Yes! There’s no time to lose, everypony. Pinkie could be down there right now. She could be scared, hungry, or sick. I must help her. After all...” She smiled with determination as she placed a germ filtration mask around her muzzle. “...I’d die for her. I’m sure I can tolerate some bad smells long enough to bring her back home.”
Twilight smiled.
“Well said, Rarity,” she said. Twilight turned to face Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
“There happens to be a substantial reward for information leading to Pinkie’s whereabouts. If we find her down in the sewer, it’s all yours; the reward, not the sewer.”
“Thanks, Your Highness,” said Diamond Tiara, “but if you do find her down there, please feel free to donate the reward to a local charity of your choice. Knowing that Pinkie Pie is back in the care of her best friends is all the reward I want.”
Good one, Di, thought Silver Spoon.
Twilight’s jaw dropped.
“That’s... remarkably noble of you, Diamond Tiara,” she said. “Very well; the reward will be donated to the Ponyville Golden Oak Library Restoration Fund.”
“Could you donate it to a local charity of your choice except that one?”
“Whaaaat?” squawked Twilight. “What’s wrong with restoring the library?”
“Nothing at all, Your Highness.” Diamond Tiara held her right forehoof to her mouth and giggled. “I was only messing with you. The Library Restoration Fund is fine.”
Twilight smirked.
“You got me with that one.” She turned to face Applejack and Rarity. “Well, we’ll be on our way then.” She turned to face Fluttershy. “Fluttershy? Considering your condition, you should sit this one out.”
“I understand,” said Fluttershy. “Thank you.”
“Rarity, AJ; you’re with me.” Twilight ran for the exit. “Is Rainbow still outside?”
“Roger that,” said Rarity.
“Wait,” said Applejack. “Before we go, have ya got any masks ta spare fer the rest o’ us, Rarity? It’s gonna be mighty ripe down there.”
“In my throne’s compartment,” replied Rarity as she ran to catch up with Twilight. “Just grab the whole box.” Applejack nodded and ran back to the throne room.
“Well, our work here is done,” said Diamond Tiara to Silver Spoon. “Let’s go.”
Fluttershy reached out and hugged Diamond Tiara gently. Silver Spoon was not pleased with somepony helping themselves to Diamond Tiara's personal space.
“What was that for?” asked Diamond Tiara, confused by the embrace.
“Oh, I‘m so sorry if I startled you.” Fluttershy released the filly. “I couldn’t help myself. I’m just so happy to see you.”
“Why? I mean, I know who you are and all... but we aren’t exactly well acquainted.”
“True... but that’s about to change very soon.”
“Why?”
“Are you gonna be teaching at Ponyville Elementary, Miss Fluttershy?” guessed Silver Spoon. Fluttershy turned to look at the gray filly.
“Oh, no, I’m far too busy tending to my animal friends’ needs to commit to a second job like that.” She turned to face Diamond Tiara. “I hope your father can forgive me for spoiling the surprise we had for you but... Diamond Tiara...” Fluttershy raised her foreleg to show the fillies her wedding bracelet but it was no longer in her possession. “Oops. Um, I’m your mystery dinner guest for tomorrow night. And the reason for my visit is that...” Fluttershy craned her neck out and whispered. “I... am your new stepmother.”
Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped along with Silver Spoon’s. They looked at one another and then at Fluttershy.
“Are you surprised?” asked Fluttershy with a smile.
“Very!” Diamond Tiara adopted an awkward half-smile. “This is out of the blue.”
“Oh, and you’ll be pleased to know that I signed a prenup beforehoof.”
“Whew! Well, what a relief that is. I’m happy that my dad’s found a-”
“Shh!” hushed Fluttershy. “Careful. Not so loud.”
“I’m happy that he’s found a mare that he can be happy with,” said Diamond Tiara in a softer voice, “but he is still on trial. He could be sentenced to hang if he’s found guilty. Wouldn’t it have been wiser to wait until after the verdict to marry him?”
Fluttershy smiled widely.
“In this case, no. You’ll like this. My best friend Twilight – the acting judge in his trial – won’t sentence him to the death penalty as a favor to me because he’s now my husband.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“She can’t; not officially. But unofficially, it’s in the bag.”
“So by marrying my dad, you’ve actually saved him?”
“Yes! She might even have him acquitted.”
A wide smile formed across Diamond Tiara’s face.
“Really?”
“It’s pretty likely.”
“OH MY GOOOOOSH!” Diamond Tiara crouched and then hopped to throw her forelegs around the back of Fluttershy’s neck for a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Inside voice, please,” reminded Fluttershy.
“You don’t know how much this means to me. You’re an angel.”
“That’s what he called me. And you may call me ‘Mom’ if you like.”
Diamond Tiara flinched and averted her eyes.
“I... I’m sorry but that’s a word I don’t use anymore... for anypony. My daddy probably told you why.”
“I understand. But I can think of at least one pony who’ll be calling me Mom.”
“Who?”
Fluttershy stood on her hindhooves and rubbed her tummy.
“The newest edition to our family,” she said with a smile.
Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped. She pointed to Fluttershy’s tummy.
“You mean... the condition Princess Twilight mentioned was that you're pregnant?”
“That’s right.”
Diamond Tiara smiled widely.
“Well, well, well. You two lovebirds sure didn’t waste any time, did you?”
Fluttershy giggled.
“Is that any way to speak to your step...flutter?” All three ponies giggled. “Okay, it’s been fun having you here but it really is getting quite late. I’ll have our castle guards fly each of you back home via pegasus chariot.”
“That would be awesome.. but Silver Spoon actually wants to sleep over at my house tonight. Could you please have a pegasus courier fly to her house to let somepony there know she’ll be staying with me? It would save us a lot of time.”
Fluttershy nodded.
“You’ve got it.”
“Thank you, Miss Fluttershy,” said Silver Spoon.
“Oh, and one more thing: for security reasons, please don’t breathe a word to anypony about the marriage.”
“We won’t,” said Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara simultaneously.
“Thanks. Just go through that door when you’re ready to go home. The chariot pullers will be standing by.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll go send that courier to Silver Spoon’s house. See you tomorrow at dinner, Diamond Tiara.”
“See you then.”
As Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara walked through the doorway and squeed over the fantastic news, Fluttershy flew down the corridor to find a courier. She heard a sudden noise that startled her. She turned around to find that the castle’s front doors glowed purple and had been swung open.
“APPLEJACK, HURRY UUUUP!!” yelled Twilight Sparkle. “WE’RE WAITING ON YOUUU!!”
“Erma cwmin’,” mumbled Applejack, her voice muffled by something obstructing her oral cavity.
“Applejack?” called out Fluttershy.
“Hm?” replied Applejack, opting not to turn to face Fluttershy for some unknown reason. Fluttershy flew in front of Applejack which resulted in Applejack turning away each time she attempted to look at her face. Fluttershy held Applejack’s face with her forehooves and forced her to look at her. Both of Applejack’s cheeks were stuffed with what must have been food – and Fluttershy had a pretty good idea what that food was.
“You’re eating my Critter Chow, aren’t you?”
“Hm?” mumbled Applejack. The earth pony continued to chew.
“I brought that from my cottage storeroom for the sole purpose of using it in my demonstration. That’s government issued feed. The weekly shipments are based on animal census records for the year. Ordering more of it would mean paying for it out of my own pocket.”
Applejack swallowed, smiled nervously, and blushed.
“Heh heh. Listen, Fluttershy, ah won’t lie ta you... so ah’ll just get goin’ then.” She sped past Fluttershy.
“Huh?”
“Wait up, y’all!” shouted Applejack to the party pony rescue party.
Fluttershy’s jaw dropped as the earth pony disappeared. She then frowned.
“Uh! Of all the...!” Fluttershy flew to the doorway where she caught a glimpse of Applejack’s tail disappearing into the darkness. “I don’t help myself to the apples in your trees!” Suddenly, she winced and blushed, recalling her chiropteran alter ego. “Um... a-anymore.”
She walked back in to the waiting room and approached the bag of critter chow. It had been opened in one corner. The hole was wide enough for a rude and hungry earth pony’s foreleg to scoop out a generous free sample or two. Or three. Not one to hold a grudge, she decided to laugh it off.
“Tch-tch-tch,” hissed Fluttershy as she shook her head. “That silly pony.”
She sniffed the bag. She then took a quick look around to see if any guards were passing by. Once she was certain that she was alone, she stuck her right forehoof in the bag, took out a hoofful of Critter chow and began to eat it.
She closed her eyes and grinned.
“Oh, my Celestia,” she exclaimed with as high-pitched of a gleeful giggle she could release with a full mouth. “This stuff is delicious!”
Diamond Tiara closed the bathroom door behind her to keep in the steam that had accumulated during the shower she had just finished taking. Dressed in simple magenta flannel pajamas, the self-proclaimed future ruler of Equestria approached her bed where Silver Spoon was waiting for her return. The gray filly, dressed in similar pajamas hopped off the bed and approached Diamond Tiara. Without so much as offering a single word, she stuck her muzzle in Diamond Tiara’s mane and took a long sniff.
“Can I help you, sailor?” asked Diamond Tiara with a smirk.
“Yes!” replied a pouting Silver Spoon. “Tell me how it is that you showered with that coconut lime body wash – the same one that I used fifteen minutes ago – and when I was done, I didn’t smell, like, even half as good as you do right now!”
Diamond Tiara responded to the question with a smirk and a short shrug.
“I’m not doing anything differently. Maybe things just smell better when they’re on me?”
“I guess.” Silver Spoon walked back to the bed and crawled under the covers. “Is there any scent that doesn’t smell better when it’s on you?”
Diamond Tiara frowned as she crawled into the bed and lay down beside Silver Spoon.
“Peaches,” she muttered.
“Peaches?”
“Peaches. I hate the smell of peaches. It always puts me in a bad mood. The servants aren’t even allowed to bring one in the house to eat on their breaks.” Diamond Tiara grinned. “But if you’re that jealous of my scent enhancing properties, I could always skip a shower the next time you sleep over.”
“Ew.” Silver Spoon removed her glasses and placed them on the nightstand. “No, thanks. B.O. puts me in a bad mood.”
“Suit yourself.”
“Di?”
“Hm?”
“Do you still hate you-know-who for abandoning you?”
Diamond Tiara held her tongue for a while.
“When that mare left my dad and me, she left behind a void that I almost instantly filled with hatred. My hatred became a sort of substitute parent, in a way. I used to feel empowered by it; fueled by it, even. Now, I just feel burdened by it; like it’s gonna hold me back from doing the things I need to do. I want to be a good pony, Silver. I want to be the best pony anyone’s ever known; somepony that other ponies will remember for generations after I’m gone. But everytime I think about that mare... my hatred burns hotter than the fire pits of Tartaros.” She sighed. “I suppose I’ll find out one day when I burn there myself.”
Silver Spoon’s eyes opened. She turned to her side to look at Diamond.
“What in Celestia’s name would ever make you say such a thing, Di?” asked Silver. “You’re not going to Tartaros. You’re gonna go to Elysium; we both are.”
“The truth is Elysium sounds kinda scary to me.”
Silver Spoon raised an eyebrow.
“Di, don’t be silly. It’s paradise.”
“I know that but I’m not so sure that I like the sound of... ugh... eternal happiness.”
“Why would you not want eternal happiness? You have to like being happy.”
“Sure, I like being happy... but think about it for a sec; who’s always happy? I know I’m not. And I know that you’re not. But even when I’m unhappy, part of what makes that happiness special is that it’s not a constant. It’s on again/off again. What if I want to be in a bad mood in Elysium? Or sad? Or depressed? Or angry? Like – what if you’re not allowed to feel a mood other than happiness? While we’re alive, we have the freedom to feel any emotion we want. So why should that end in the afterlife? I wouldn’t want to be a spirit that can only experience one emotion for eternity. Would you?”
“No, but I don’t think there would be a reason to feel sad, depressed, or angry in Elysium – so I don’t see a problem.”
“The problem is that it sounds like you’re denied emotional variety in Elysium in order to keep the place squeaky clean for everypony. What if there’s somepony that polices everypony to make sure you don’t express any emotion except for happiness so that everypony there gets along? Or even worse, what if this theory of mine is true and you can’t feel anything except for happiness about the situation? You wouldn’t fight the status quo because the status quo makes you happy about the fact that you can only feel happy.” Diamond Tiara shivered briefly with discomfort. “I think I’d almost rather be in Tartaros where they only make you suffer. At least there, you’re free to feel any way you want to about your suffering.”
Silver Spoon lay on her back once more. She gazed at the ceiling and blinked. She knew herself to be a very emotional filly. In her life, she had seen her fair share of highs and lows. Happiness, though scarce, was always voluntary. Could happiness really be mandatory like Diamond Tiara said?
“I can honestly say that I’ve never thought of it like that,” said Silver Spoon. “And I suddenly want to live forever.”
“Well, if Pinkie’s vision is true, we’ll at least live long enough to be a pair of pruney old ladies together. That makes me pretty happy; thinking about all the years we’re gonna spend together; all the fun we’re gonna have. But what really makes me happier than anything is that my dad is gonna live and go free.” She closed her eyes and grinned. “Thank you, Fluttershy. You know what? I should ask her to bring some bunnies to live with us.”
“I really am very happy for you and your dad.”
“Thanks. I’ve gone such a long stretch without good luck that I didn’t think I’d ever see any come my way ever again.”
“But...”
“But what?”
Silver Spoon hesitated.
“Silver?”
“Hm?”
“But what?”
“I was gonna say... what if the rest of Pinkie’s vision comes to pass?”
“You mean how we supposedly destroy Equestria together?”
Silver Spoon hesitated and then nodded.
“What if it’s true?”
Diamond Tiara snickered. She reached out and held Silver Spoon’s forehooves.
“Hey. I might be a lot of things but I’m no mass murderer. You know that better than anypony.”
“That’s just it. I know that you aren’t one now.”
“Do you think I'm smart?”
“When you're not begging somepony for a plotkicking, yes; I think you're very smart.”
“Destroying Equestria would be stupid and I’m not in the habit of doing stupid things. Plus it’s so over the top cliché. How would I even accomplish that? Do I take a sledgehammer and knock over every single house, fountain, and birdfeeder until nothing is left standing?”
“We wouldn’t have to do it ourselves. We could potentially order somepony to destroy it for us.”
“With what? A tornado? Tirek? A flashfire? Who would be crazy enough to carry out an order from a pair of old ladies to destroy Equestria?”
Silver Spoon nodded.
“Nopony, I guess,” she said.
“Damned straight. We'd be laughed at or ignored. Still, if that future does come to pass, I can only take that to mean that you failed miserably as my PR pony.”
Silver Spoon chuckled.
“I guess I can kiss my Hearth’s Warming Day bonus for that year goodbye.”
“I aim to lead Equestria into an age of prosperity someday but that’s all. Killing its taxpaying workforce would be counterproductive. No matter what, the bottom line – the economy – will always be my top priority as ruler. What the future has in store for me doesn’t worry me nearly as much as what I have in store for the future. I see it so clearly, Silver Spoon: an Equestria where no pony has an unmet need. Everypony will be living happy, healthy, and productive lives. I just need to bide my time, learn all I can, and keep my head held high. But what matters even more than the future is that you and I are both safe and sound in the present – together.”
Both fillies remained silent as they waited for sleep to overtake them. After a few seconds, Silver Spoon felt the bed list again as Diamond Tiara stirred. She had turned on her side so that she could look at Silver Spoon.
“I wasn’t the only one that Pinkie wanted to kill,” said Diamond Tiara. “If she had hurt you, well, I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Neither do I, Di. I couldn’t have left you behind to face Pinkie on your own. A life without you would be unthinkable.”
“I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing right now.”
Pinkie Pie was chewing the last coconut macaroon from the sack of food that Diamond Tiara brought her earlier. She sat on a length of a wide iron pipe that protruded from a wall that had some of the brightest lights anywhere in the sewer. The earth pony swung her leg back and forward, lost in thought as she listened to the movement of the water in the open channel directly in front of her.
Something that appeared to be a rather large alligator rose from the channel at a non-threatening speed. Pinkie stopped chewing and stared at it. She was too stunned to move and wasn’t altogether certain that the alligator wasn’t a figment of her imagination.
“Hello, Miss Pie,” said the alligator in a voice that led Pinkie to believe the alligator to be a female. “Please don’t be alarmed. I’m not here to hurt you. Quite the opposite, in fact. I saw you down here and I just had to let you know how very grateful I am to you for looking after my baby. He wouldn’t have survived for very long on his own without teeth. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you very, very much.”
Pinkie swallow the macaroon mush that occupied her mouth.
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhurrrrrrrrrrrrre,” said a confused Pinkie.
“I assume that some other pony is looking after him while you’re down here, yes?”
“Yeahhhhhhh,” said Pinkie Pie. “My friend Fluttershy should have him by now.”
“That’s excellent news. Her name is very well known in Ponyville’s animal community. Well, I won’t take up any more of your time. Have a good night – and thanks again.”
“Buh-bye,” said Pinkie, waving with her left forehoof.
The alligator slid back into the channel and swam away, leaving Pinkie to her solitude.
Pinkie blinked and shrugged.
“I wish I could say that that was the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“She’s probably in the sewer hiding from Princess Twilight’s search party,” posited Silver Spoon.
The bed listed again from Diamond Tiara sitting up straight.
Silver Spoon turned to see why Diamond Tiara was sitting up. She gulped when she saw what was happening. Diamond Tiara was unbuttoning her own pajama top. Too many of Silver Spoon’s fantasies started out in a similar way for her pulse not to quicken slightly. She didn’t know why it felt naughty to watch Diamond Tiara disrobe when they normally only wore clothing on special occasions; she just knew that it did.
“Sit up, Silver,” instructed Diamond Tiara. "I have a little gift for you."
Silver Spoon did as she was told. Diamond Tiara placed her right foreleg behind Silver Spoon’s neck. She held onto Silver as she lay back down on the bed and rested her friend’s head across her chest as she lay down.
Diamond Tiara lay still and silent, as did Silver Spoon.
“Hear anything?” asked Diamond Tiara.
“Your heartbeat,” replied Silver Spoon.
“That’s right. It wouldn’t be beating right now if you hadn’t risked your neck to save me. So, since you’re my hero, your reward is that, tonight, you get the best seat in the house.”
Diamond Tiara stopped speaking.
“You mean you’re just gonna let me sleep like this?” asked Silver Spoon. “With my ear against your chest?”
“Mm-hm. Good night, Silver.”
Silver Spoon smiled.
“I’m keeping the promise I made to you, by the way; I won’t try anything inappropriate with you in your sleep.”
“I know. I’d trust you with my life.”
The sentiment touched Silver Spoon and a tear formed in her eye.
“I love you,” she whimpered.
“Love you, too... but I think I’d love you a lot more if you’d shut the rut up and let me go to sleep already.”
Silver Spoon snickered. It was the last noise that either one of them would make until morning. Silver Spoon drifted happily off to sleep listening to her favorite sound in the world.
Ba-bump.
Ba-bump.
Ba-bump.
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
It was past midnight and a gray pegasus mare knocked on the door to a house that was not her own. Several minutes later, a small panel on the door slid open.
“Why are we known as the GeRMs?” said a voice from the other side of the door.
“Because GeRMs spread,” whispered Derpy. She performed a salute that ended with her miming the placement of a noose around her neck and pulling it upward to simulate a hanging. The unconventional salute was capped off with the extraction of her tongue from the corner of her mouth.
The door opened and Derpy entered the house. A pony dressed in a black robe and hood closed and locked the door after her.
“Hi, O Fearless Leader,” chirped Derpy.
“Were you followed?” asked Fearless Leader.
“No. The only ponies I saw tonight were Rainbow Dash and two earth pony foals but none of them came after me.”
“Excellent. Here.” Fearless Leader held a black cloak up and assisted Derpy in putting it on. Once it was on, Derpy’s smiling muzzle poked out of the hood which draped over her eyes. She fixed it and performed the salute to Fearless Leader who returned it. “How may I help you tonight, Third Operative Hooves?”
“I have some news about our adjective, O Fearless Leader.”
The cloaked pony groaned and facehoofed.
“Do you mean our ‘objective’?”
“Yeah, that. You said to bring you any new information about our objective, day or night... and that’s what I’m doing here.”
“You’ve been an invaluable asset to the Guilty Rich Movement, Third Operative Hooves. Nopony outside of our little circle of friends suspects for even a second that you’re with us – and that makes you practically invisible. Do you know what will happen if this pans out to something we can use to our advantage?”
“I get promoted to Second Operative?”
“You get promoted to Second Operative and... you receive a special ceremonial pin that you can wear proudly at all future meetings.”
“Hoorayyyy!” Derpy clapped her forehooves together twice and smiled. “A pin! I never got a pin for anything from working at the Equestria Postal Service. I can hardly wait! But first, please tell me that you made more of those neat little cottage cheese and grape jelly mini-muffins that we had at the last meeting. Please-oh-please-oh-pleeeease.” Derpy licked and smacked her lips while rubbing her tummy.
Fearless Leader turned around and walked into the next room. She returned with a tray of the muffins in question held in her right forehoof. Derpy accepted the tray, hovered a few feet in the air, and proceeded to scarf the tasty baked goods down one by one, making garbled yummy noises as she ate.
“Now then,” said Fearless Leader. “Why don’t you have a seat and tell me all about what you heard, Third Operative Hooves?”
Derpy flew to the couch and sat back in it.
“Mmph,” blurted Derpy, swallowing her mouthful of mostly masticated mini-muffin. “You might want to take a seat yourself, O Fearless Leader... cuz I guarantee you that this one’s a doozy!”
you're an idiot Shy
You're an idiot dash
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So they don't know that DT killed Twist?
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Diamond Tiara is responsible for a prank which led to Twist's accidental death. It would be a different story if Di had tied Twist to the train tracks; only then would I say that Di "killed" Twist.
Of course, if it had been my daughter that got hit by a train, I might look at Diamond Tiara as "that girl who killed my child".
It's all a matter of perspective.
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An interesting point. I'll address that.
Celestia told Diamond Tiara that she is basically dispensable once her CMC project is concluded (presumably after the CMC and DT graduate from Ponyville Elementary). Diamond Tiara does not see herself as dispensable in the slightest. Her mother saw her as dispensable so we know she has a mild neurosis about being disregarded or discarded by somepony. And due to the Mare In The Moon library conspiracy, Diamond Tiara also believes that nothing is beneath Celestia regarding secretive plans and such. It's easier for her to believe that somepony with power will do all sorts of things to keep it. To put it more succinctly, she fell for Operation: Diamond Exchange hook, line, and sinker.
Also, she is not the most sympathetic pony in town right now. Anypony she would tell about it would probably not care much. But here's the thing: why would she tell anypony? Diamond Tiara is too proud to declare that the ruler of all Equestria has stamped her as a cog in a machine. And Diamond Tiara enjoys being self sufficient in matters such as this. Going to anypony for help would be admitting that she couldn't handle things herself. If being "bad" brought her to where she is now, switching to being "good" is the obvious next step to take. And like she said, Celestia thinks she can't do it... and one of the worst things you can say to Diamond Tiara is that you doubt her ability to get something done - because that will only light a fire under her to do it so she can rub it in your doubting face.
Dash, you're an idiot. And an ass. xD
Also, dayum. Face full of Diamond's treasure. Dash won't be forgetting that one. I'd say something about Silver being jealous but those clash bums too often, lol
Adorable ending.
Pinkie Pie gets best freak outs.
Damn, Shy really painted that image pretty well there. But she's a fool for thinking everything's in the bag like that. Jeez...
You know, my friend's sister when I was a kid used to snack on these milk bones. Apparently she swore by its taste and didn't care if anyone saw her eat any. Can't fault some pony's logic for the curiosity of what such a universal feed might taste like.
Fun chapter. The last parts with DT and Dash and DT and SS were my favs.
DT gave great speeches. Her talent should be giving speeches. Definitely the best aspect of her personality.
I have an hard time believing she can change that fast on her own. She has be en awfully nice since she has her new tiara. Still believe the tiara fuck with her mind.
Also I start to think Filthy will be killed, them "revived" by Discord, and this will play a part at Diamond snapping in the end.
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You're a wizard Harry.
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I'm a bit bowled over by the numerous "idiot" callout comments thus far. Maybe I should have called this chapter Idiocy, hm?
The first draft had Di say something a little more daring to RD when she showed off her undertail area and I thought it best to word it in a way that allowed the reader to use their imagination than to use crudity. Hm. Crudity. I'll have to remember that word for a possible future chapter title.
GeRM Derpy is best informant horse. Has anyone out there eaten cottage cheese and jelly sandwiches?
An editing room floor scene had Gummy's mother asking for food from the sack prior to swimming away and Pinkie gave her a jar of caviar that was inside.
I find it amusing how Dash accuses Flutters of not using common sense when she uses very little for the duration of the chapter herself. So far, no one has accused me of writing Dashie OOC. I really do see her as the type to lose her patience with conflicts that require cerebral or diplomatic solutions rather than those she can solve with her own two wings and four hooves.
Except Fluttershy forgot to read the bag's warning label which reads Do not consume if you are pregnant or nursing. Looks like DT's inheritance is saved.
I'm happy that you enjoyed it. The DT and SS moment was a must have. Silver earned that cuddle. I was going to make it a spooning (obvious pun is obvious) but it didn't feel like as much of a true reward as the more intimate final draft of being Silver's living pillow.
Thanks for your continued support. Would you be interested in asking The Diamond Cutters members in the forum who are artists if they'd like to have their artwork used as the image for my story? Like a contest of sorts.
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Stay tuned for more of those speeches; one of which will be poignant to the umpteenth power.
6422963 I don't know if you can top the one against Celestia, but you can be sure I will impatiently wait for more. You are one of the few who made me like the adorabullies.
Adorable. You know, I was watching Dragonball Z just earlier today, and it occurred to me; that show is terrible. Specifically, at carrying any sort of emotional tone. Action scenes are mixed haphazardly with comedy, and the two mixed together terribly, to the point none of the actually carried any weight to it for. I lose all attachment to the piece.
And then you came along, took that concept, and made it work brilliantly. I don't quite know how yet, exactly, but you've managed to find some sort of divine balance that's managed to keep me invested every step of the way. Keep up the good work.
Also, welcome back.
Now we see Rainbow Dash's character. And she's... really to the heart here. She doesn't hold back punches, even when she should probably keep her mouth closed. But, it seems to be out of a sense of devotion for the most part, and she's capable of at least holding herself back when it counts. I'm pretty sure that most people (or ponies) would've knocked Diamond Tiara on her ass at that moment.
The concept of Discord being able to bring people from the dead... I wonder if that will be used later. At the very least, it's an interesting concept; even magic that can seemingly do anything has its own limitations and drawbacks. No finger snapping everything back together...fortunately.
Man, Celestia did a number on her, as did the events of this story. Less than a few weeks ago, she would have murdered the yellow one for this.
Nothing much to say here, only i've been thinking this my entire life. Glad to know i'm not the only one who gets these weird, creeping thoughts.
Nothing else to say here, either. This scene is just adorable.
Oh, Derpy, you have no idea what you're doing... or do you?
Once again, you're keeping it interesting, and your keeping it advancing. There's always just the right amount of twists and turns that I don't get bored, but never enough so that I get completely de-railed. Which, as always, leaves me excited for more.
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Dragonball Z is very hard for me to sit through. For one thing, you've got a ridiculous amount of over the top violence committed for the sake of something as kindergartenesque as having a wish granted. And yes, I haven't forgotten that The Unspoken Wish is an element in The Diamond Exchange but there is still some mystery surrounding what it is and no one is trying to claim it for themselves. Magic balls. Ugh. Oddly enough, the presence of science in FiM is actually more unusual than the presence of magic. Then there's the screaming during special moves. My Celestia, is there an anime with more screaming in it than DBZ? I've heard that poor Claire Corlett is STILL waiting for her first treatment of the Happy Birthday song from her dad (voice actor for Goku in the English dub).
Could I write a fic for that show? I doubt I'd even try. I prefer friendship over fighting and there's too much testosterone in it to convert into estrogen.
Rainbow Dash likes the moral high ground too much to cross the same line that Cheerilee chose to ignore. It also had to be very difficult for RD to keep that anger in check because while DT is a pest to her almost adopted daughter Scootaloo and a seemingly remorseless troublemaker who got Twist killed, she is also the stepdaughter of her old friend Fluttershy.
As I wrote the Flutters/Discord scene, I kept envisioning them as Jackie Paper and Puff The Magic Dragon and wrote their dialogue accordingly, albeit with darker subject matter. You've got to be at peace with death. Booker T once said the following regarding the passing of his friend the late great Eddie Guerrero: "Death smiles upon all of us; the only thing a man can do is smile back." I plan on greeting The Grim Reaper with a smile.
Personally, I don't think that the old DT would have been that resentful of her father remarrying... although inquiring about the existence of a prenup would have been the first thing on her mind. The second thing would have been to ask her father why he didn't marry Princess Twilight Sparkle instead.
Though Di is determined to be virtuous, she still possesses her street smarts. I could easily envision this piece of dialogue taking place:
Diamond Tiara: "Question everything."
Silver Spoon: "Even paradise?"
Diamond Tiara: "Especially paradise!"
Also, ShadowGentleman; you share a thought process with Diamond Tiara. It's up to you as to whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.
The conclusion of the bedroom scene was just as enjoyable to envision as it was to write. These two are so cute together now that Di has loosened up and learned to show some gratitude and appreciation toward a friend greater than her previous behavior should have earned her.
The first draft of Derpy and her conversation with Rainbow Dash was very different. The mailmare was quite open about her GeRM membership and wanted Rainbow Dash to attend a meeting. I changed the scene entirely because it made the Derpmeister seem too sinister which I feel goes against her nature. Derpy's involvement in the organization showcases its ability to corrupt others into joining their ranks, even the naive and the innocent. Who else is part of this group determined to see that Filthy Rich suffers for what he has done to the town's beloved schoolmarm?
As always, thanks for the review and the compliments. It is my sincerest wish that you stick around until the final chapter drops and that you'll provide me with a final overall story review to wrap it up.
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Whelp. Silver Spoon just [buy some apples!].
Leaving this here. It belongs here. Forgot what chapter it belongs in, but this image just belongs here.
Hope you enjoyed the latest episode.
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I did enjoy it but the odd thing was that it really shook me up to such a degree that I needed more time and multiple viewings to absorb everything that happened. I'll try to post a blog tomorrow about the episode.
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Funny how that worked out, huh? Achieving their most desired goal by befriending and helping their greatest antagonist made me think of this image.
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6525340 LOL! Yeah, to say the episode left me a broken mess would be an understatement. You should see the oceans of conflicting emotions and thoughts that fought it out like two super beings clashing so fiercely with one another it almost tore the fabric space apart (i.e. ME) as each opposing force fought for dominance over my mental state. Which for two days where I couldn't even post coherent opinions one way or the other. HA You should have seen the Skype SPOILERS chat. Me and Yukito went a bit back and forth and we both may have almost burned the chat down with how big the chats got. xD
Sweet baby cakes was that a hell of an emotional roller coaster. I still CAN'T EVEN fully this episode. But I think emotions won out on the third day. Worst part was each opposing side had conflicting views so it's not like I got out of that in one piece. xD
I can't even. Just gonna accept the positives. Yup. Diamond Tiara confirmed for s6. So many possibilities.
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There was one post I spied in a chat for a livestream of the episode that I found mildly amusing: "Somebody get Satan a jacket because hell just froze over."
I'll discuss my views from a writer's standpoint in a blog. My views as a fan are pretty simple. Five words. I'm happy for Diamond Tiara.
More people love her the way that I always have. When I dressed up as Randolph at this year's Everfree and walked around with my DT plushie, people were actually calling Di names and scolding her. Jokingly, yes, but they did it all the same. In the space of 22 minutes, Daniel Ingram and Amy Keating Rogers made all of that a thing of the past. It's the proverbial turning water into wine of MLP; moreso than Keep Calm and Flutter On because no one hated Discord and the CMC didn't have an orbital friendship cannon like the Mane Six do.
6525652 Oh Celestia, yes. So happy for Diamond Tiara. The influx of stories and members and comments all over the fandom across Derpibooru, DA, Tumblr, EqD, and Twitter and it's just... man. It's good that Hasbro noticed and respected that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had fans. It's made all these years spreading the love and tolerance of Best Filly Diamond Tiara and why people should let her into their hearts all just totally feel like we as fans were able to shout over all the neighsayers and make our presence not only known, but that there is a market for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
Ever since EqG came out, and the way they were careful with how they were portraying Diamond and Silver in those movies and the dramatic shift in tone between FttF and Twilight Time, dude who wrote FttF btw got fi~red, that you just couldn't help but feel there was some big opening coming along that was going to set Diamond and Silver up to have a more competitive friendlier rivalry than straight up enemies around some corner.
All that just hyped to all heck with Chantal Strand putting a hater in his place with how Diamond Tiara will end up showing a side of her she hasn't shown anyone.
So, yeah. Feels good. And way to go man. That cosplay and Diamond Tiara plushie you pulled off at bronycon was fantastic. Now I suspect you'll have less heckles and more d'awws towards Diamond. I only wish I could have watched this episode with my god daughter, her favorite pony is Diamond Tiara. The toy at least. She loves Twilight Time. Would have been a trip to see her reaction for Lost Mark. <3
Looking forward to the blog post. Good night!
You know, it feels good to see one of Diamond's BIGGEST haters just blinded by her sheer awesomeness that they had nothing to say. At all. About Diamond Tiara. Not one bad thing. Though they refused to acknowledge her.
#LifeIsGood
6525384
.
Did I ever tell you about my idea for a reformed DT/SS fic?
The two newly reformed fillies go undercover as they infiltrate Milkmoneycon, an exclusive bully convention which they've attended in years past as special guest speakers. Their mission: to covertly liberate the gathering of unsuspecting geeks, nerds, and dorks who are lured to the con every year for the purpose of being pushing around, harassed, and humiliated by the attendees... and to get out of there in one piece
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It goes without saying that CotLM severely impacted the public's perception of Diamond Tiara. Back In 2013 when I started this story, it was easier for others (myself included) to believe that Di was capable of deplorable acts and that she had few to no redeeming qualities. I've put up an AU tag now thanks to the paradigm shift it created. Now, where people once rooted against her, I'm sure to see more comments like this one where readers will call me out for writing her OOC. Thanks, Amy Keating Rogers and Daniel Ingram!
As for DT and SS being taken into police custody, picture Silver sitting by the side of the tracks in hysterics wailing "Oh my gosh, we KILLED HERRRR!!"
It's technically untrue but if somepony is claiming responibility, it bears further investigation. You don't just let the only witnesses to a death that may have been a murder walk away. It was hinted at that Silver was too distraught to be released on her own recognizance so whoever was in charge of the investigation must have felt it necessary to detain them until some parent or guardian came to claim them.
The meta answer is that the story needed Di and Sil to have this cute prison scene because it was cute and it was an opportunity for exposition.
Glad to hear I've hooked you. While reading further chapters,specifically Oophorectomy, it might help to pretend that you're reading it on 10/9/15 or earlier. Also, I'm going to assume that the most recent upvote was from you. So thanks.
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It was the truth at the time I wrote it. And more lies? When did I lie before this perceived lie?
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It's not voodoo. It's outdated science.
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Good Silver, being the angel half of the devil/angel on your shoulder, was referencing the tradition of having an angel decoration as a tree topper on a Christmas tree (or Hearth's Warming tree in the pony world) and the idea that the job involved having the tree top shoved up her *squee* was a joke that the nine year old in me simply couldn't pass up.
6559090 call it typo. More Lies, I guess I felt duped into reading this dark and grizzly tail and now I'm hooked because you did write it so beautifully. And yes the Police Station scene joking about Silver being Diamond's bitch was priceless.
I honestly hope Dia suffers but I am worried Silver will to.
so yeah I have a love hate relationship with this fic.
sorry..
6559093 oops you answered on the wrong comment. So dead rabbits = pregnancy test in some bizarre sudo-science or something?
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Once I reach the conclusion of the first part of The Diamond Exchange, I'm going to do some tidying up in the older chapters to fix problems like this confusing dialogue ownership layout you've mentioned.
6558919 lol congrats! you reached the point of confliction! xD
Also, yeah. His Spoony is such a unique Spooner. She's such a darling.
6558789 Eh, foals will be foals. xD
6558854 About the same reaction a few of my friends had. lol! Have to say, mines wasn't too far off. xD
6559046 Pretty sure Tartarus has a written agreement that as long as Diamond TIara remains on Equestria, they won't enact the Ponyacolypse and rain eternal damnation upon all of the living. Celestia had to ponder this one for awhile, but then realized she could easily dump her on Twilight Sparkle since it's technically on her jurisdiction now. The devil drives a hard bargain.
6559046 I'm terrible around funerals. It's always so awkward. Imagine everypony just giving you dirty looks all throughout, and being reminded so bluntly that the filly was dead essentially due to their pranks, a prank she could have stopped. I don't think for a second Silver was being insensitive, but more that she just can't deal with all the guilt she feels and the constant pressure of being judged or feeling like you're being judged by others. Nerve wrecking.
6558939 That is one kinky Angel. She loves the Hearth Warming gig but that one is seasonal. *rubs plothole*
Silver Spoon reminds me of Deadpool, only she's got a conscience and while she keeps her fetishy stuff to herself, you can tell she's totally bucked in the head. And yeah, that parents thing was more to highlight just how messed up and neglected Silver Spoon in. She's got like the two most ill-equipped but well meaning parents in all of Equestria who have no idea what they're doing. Certainly not meant to evoke comedy, okay well it's dark humor but you're supposed to be feeling bad for Silver Spoon. xD
That Demon though. Sweet jesus was that one moment with the promise a much needed moment for me at that point. That sleepover everything was my favorite. <333
So much in this story. I can't even! My emotions feel so used and abused at times. XD
6559481 Yup. I pretty much could not believe what I read. I saw it coming, but couldn't believe it. That part would have stayed with me forever if it never got brought up again. Despite having read all that I have to that point, I still didn't think ponies would go so far as to molest and potentially do more to a filly all because some rich ponies didn't get sentenced. Twist probably WAS the one thing holding Ponyville's sanity together. Makes you wonder just what she used in those candy canes of hers. xD
6559775 Sadly, no. Pinkie Pride aired in February 1st of 2014. Still, it's pretty much what you'd expect from a pudding and fudge obsessed filly would do. <3
6559696 Heh. Yeah... that chapter. Grats! You survived the biggest F*U moment in the story. Holy crap. The many things I'd like to say about Mayor Mare and a certain fuchsia mare. Holy hell. ARRGGGHH that was so... many things!
6559093 I still find that to be incredibly smart twisted writing there. Those days must have been quite awkward. WHO even came up with that? That's... eerily brilliant despite being hilariously fucked up.
By the way, you should totally submit this to Rage Reviews. Hopefully someone creative and funny can make a great review on all the potentially rage inducing worthy moments of what. xD I'd love to read a review of this on there. lol
6560379 Giving that up... It almost brought me to tears. Twas a mighty powerful sacrifice. It is dearly missed.
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6561183 PRAISE
what you thought I was going to say praise?
You know, all DT and SS had to do was Pinkie Swear and if they even thought about breaking their promise there is no place in Equstria they could hide from Pinkie's justice.
damn you
I gotta admit I have no love for either the GeRMs or the Equestrian Legal System and I only respect two out of the Mane6 anymore.
Bout the only one I love Silver Spoon for this and Diamond by association because she truly seems hell bent to change.
Everyone else in Ponyvile and Canterlot (for the most part) can go fuck themselves.
The CMC, The GeRMans, The Princess Mane4/6 can all go to Taratarus.
But totally watching for the next chapter.
6562330 Cheerilee must be rolling in her grave like a child with severe seizure attacks. It's almost like the CMC just screwed up the grande schemer's design and now the very delicate balance of the universe needed some quit fix before all existence would implode.
Thus, Filthy's seed growing within Fluttershy has somehow turned her into a feralistic mom who won't take no pony messing with her new family without a fight... or mostly because she WON'T fight. Filthy's got the magic trunk that all the mares go crazy over, I guess.
6562208 Universe is desperately trying to correct the balance here, clearly. The cruel irony here is pretty high, I don't think she could have died a more awkward death.
You know, there was another fic where Ponyville goes to shits without that one thread that kept the town from going into a pit of depravity, but that one is more light-hearted kind of messed up with a Silver Spoon you'd probably approve of. <3 Maybe.
That one story where Silver is totally checking out DT's ass in the cover pic.
6562378 Whelp. I couldn't have summed up that chapter any better.
6562527 Dat ending.
Whatcha think of Dash and Diamond's scene? :D Silver is probably wishing she had taken Di up on that offer before. That filly won all the respect for being able to beat out temptation. xD
@Angelbunny: Hope the next chapter is coming along nicely. Can't wait for what awaits us next. xD
6562996
It's coming along slowly but steadily. It's quite the monster in that it contains a lot of words and it's monstrous in its content. In fact, that's what I'll title it: Monstrosity. Wow, I was really hurting for a title that brings together its various elements and it drops into my lap just like that.
Spoiler alert: Time to dust off the ol' gore tag.
Depending on how much I can squeeze into Monstrosity, this first part of the Diamond Exchange may be finished in fewer than 8 chapters.
But, seriously, tomorrow I am finishing my blog on Crusaders of the Lost Mark to have ready for posting on Monday.
6562996 No I still have little to no respect for Dash in canon and I don't respect her here either. As for Diamond goading her into hitting her I'm.. on the fence.
Not sure what she was trying to prove, especially when it was urgent and even of DIRE importance that they not waste time with Dash in telling Twilight about Pinkie's whereabouts and earning Dash's respect for having guts is of little consolation in my opinion.
Like Diamond should care that that filly in a mare's body respects her?
6565281 mm no, just that someone made a very similar comment to yours about how things tend to go to crazy town when Diamond is away. Moment Diamond leaves Silver goes off to conquer other fillies, her dad and butler go on their waxing adventures together, and that's pretty much what I meant by a "The thread that holds a town's sanity together" bit.
Nothing super literal.
6565264 Just as douche as she was in Sisterhooves Social with Big Mac. xD
But yeah, Diamond seeming to want to prove her sincerity to Dash felt more like she was trying to do it more to prove it to herself if anything. Though damn, I did not think Diamond would go THAT far.
That ending part with Dashie though was the moment I just totally thought of her as the worst pony ever even before she uttered a word about stuff she wasn't supposed to mention. Doing that out of spite was just low. But whatever. Scootaloo is more mature than Rainbow Dash. And given what's happened in this story I guess that's not saying a lot... I think? Maybe? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!
6565316 Oh no is even worse then Rainbow Dash in this universe. She was willing to kill Diamond in cold blood and Silver and eventually Filthy Rich. Dash may think Filthy deserves to die but she isn't lining up with the Order of the Omelete or the GeRMs to actually do it herself.
No I have no respect for the CMC. I respect and because AJ put a stop to their conspiracy to commit murder. twilight helped a great deal but I have no respect for her either. She's a corrupted politician. I more respect the Mayor even though planning on helping Cheerilee escape justice by committing her was a gray area.
Mayor Anita Mare saved Silver Spoon from the four or five leachers stallions taking advantage of her and she saved Diamond from being strangled to death by Cheerilee when no pony else gave a flying fuck for either DT or SS.
MASSIVE respect for Mayor Mare.
Fuck
Fuck
and
FUCK YOU
6565444
I'd be interested to know whether or not you felt Diamond Tiara deserved what she got from Cheerilee. I'm with Rainbow Dash in that Di definitely deserved something but not that. I'm pretty lenient when it comes to misbehavior from foals and that is what Di, Sil, and the CMC are. If no one was ever given a chance to see the error of our ways or learn from our mistakes, very few of us would be allowed to wander very far from our parents until they were certain that we were well adjusted enough to interact with other people. Otherwise we'd be written off as curmudgeons for life in our infancy. In the whole vast configuration of things, we are more than the scurvy little spiders we were in our youth. One of The Diamond Exchange's main themes is (and has been from the start although it's somewhat muted) the self examination of our personal capacity for forgiveness. There are a lot of foals who make mistakes; some mistakes are small while some are enormous. I feel we have an obligation to give others a second chance. Giving someone who wronged you a chance is not the same thing as giving them a pass.
Mind you, I'm a huge hypocrite in that my greatest enemy who wronged me six ways to Sunday can't burn in hell soon enough for my taste... but at the very least, my experience hasn't blinded me to how I should forgive him. I can't. As a result, I haven't moved on. This fic is my way of expressing these conflicting feelings.
6565264
6565316
On the surface, it almost looks as though Di is goading Rainbow to hit her so she can use her "ability" to wish death upon one of her assailants.
There's a possibility that she's dipping her hoof into the waters of martyrdom. But mostly, it was just as Di said. If Rainbow Dash's respect was worth having, it was worth testing. Rainbow didn't have anything to lose by believing in Di's change of heart but she wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt. Di's tactics were custom tailored to appeal to RD's warrior sensibilities. Di's not going to tell everypony in town to hit her. Too many might take her up on the offer. XD This battle was just one more example of Diamond Tiara's genius and cunning. She knows when to put a square peg in a square hole and RD was definitely the square here.
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I'm also curious to know (and it's okay if you feel that it's too early to commit to an answer) if you're on Team Apple Bloom Was Wrong or Team Apple Bloom Was Right regarding her decision to (successfully) execute Operation:Diamond Exchange.
My dream would be to look down from heaven and watch as a Pro Skub/Anti Skub brawl breaks out between AB Was Wrong and AB Was Right members.
6565316
I believe you meant to say Brotherhooves Social.
And I can't say for sure that Rainbow Dash shared the secret with Derpy out of spite. I think it was more along the lines of her viewing Derpy as a non-threat as well as somepony who could keep a secret. What Rainbow failed to realize is that Derpy, as a mailmare, delivers information for a living.
Okay, we seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeriously need to get on the United States Postal Service about making a Derpy postage stamp. I'd buy five sheets of the hoofing things!
6565968 I'm honestly on the fence. On one hand it was a stark contrast toward Applebloom's original plan to turn her club into a fraternity of assassins and slaughter the entire Rich clan and possibly Spoon's family once they took her out.
On the other I liken it to "Watch Men's" Ozymandias ploy to trick the world into working together after focussing all their attention on Dr Manhattan as the enemy.
What Celestia did was cruel beyond measure. To tell a child, who's mother was the one to put bitterness and hatred into her heart, that she was born only to serve as foil and stepping stone for three future heroes. She kinna played devil's advocate in expressing exactly how the writers used her and gave her NO redeeming qualities whatsoever.
But gawd damn it it worked and put a stop to future Genocide that Pinkie Saw in her vision. So is Diamond a sociopath or does she just ignore her feelings?
Anyway, no I'm appalled by the measures the Princess took. She could have tried reasoning with Diamond, though we know that might not have worked. THEN when reason failed THEN she could drop the bomb like, "Excellent. I knew I chose somepony who would never be deterred from her self righteous path. You will be my greatest experiment yet and forge an even stronger bond among the Crusaders. i am pleased, my little pony bla bla bla "
In short, it was cruel, it was evil, but it had to be done.
short of ending Diamond's life and sending her to Tartarus for her apathy, drastic measures had to be taken. Even Silver saw she had no empathy. this was the lesser of two evils. But for going to multiple homicide as the first solution I have no respect for the CMC and I hope Diamond literally out shines those blank brats.
I find I can't use any emoticons in that last sentence because I either don't respect the characters they represent or they are the sisters of 2 out of three of those brats.
I'm of the mind that only Silver and Twist can save Ponyville from it's madness and they are rapidly loosing allies to the insanity!
6565948 LOL she certainly was a block head to say the least. But yeah I see the genius in Diamond's gamble. Either way she would have been vindicated.
If Dash hit her, Dash would have to come to terms with her own darkness in her heart and have no right to judge a filly for her apathy.
Why the town insists Diamond pushed Twist in front of the train when there was no evidence that it was more then a cruel prank is beyond me. maybe they heard the little cunt singing.
Makes me wonder, since she witnessed the death first hand, did she gasp and laugh, or did she just remain emotionless as she processed it and came to the conclusion that she had death note powers?
On the other hand as it turned out Dash was more stable and thick skinned then Cheerilee and in not hitting Diamond they both earned each other's mutual respect. That's a big gamble with a I guess a big payoff.
i hate to admit it but DT and SS need all the allies they can get and Dash is reliable at least when life and limb is at stake.
yes I just said that. Dash has her good points.
She wouldn't let Silver or Diamond come to harm even if she didn't like them or thought they may have gotten off easy.
It upsets me that an entire town would believe not only Diamond, but Silver as well, conspired to kill who I hope we see in Silver's dreams again soon. Lord knows Ponyville needs her now more then ever!
6565850
Absolutely and without a single doubt NO Diamond did NOT deserve her treatment!
Under NO modern and civilized system of government would it be acceptable to beat a child till she bled, cause her to relieve herself in front of her classmates and THEN jump on top of her and try to crush her throat with a ruler or pointer or whatever!
Miss Cheerilee should have been arrested for child abuse and attempted murder. I fault the mayor for not calling the police mediately and letting them process the crime scene as well as the offender, but i give her a pass because she stepped in and saved both Silver and Diamond when nopony else would.
No I was most horrified and I had to look at my self and tell myself "You wished for this to happen to her. You wished for her to die, and be made to suffer." fortunately she survived her ordeal but I didn't like what I saw in my self examination. I was horrified that even in death she equated Twist to a turd and I don't condone Cheerilee's actions but I understand them. Diamond sought to break her and when she snapped.. well..
I let MY love for Twist and Cheerilee overwhelm my sensibilities when I am usually the one telling bronies "She's a child, and you want to skin her alive for teasing three fillies?!"
I have defended Diamond and Silver for two years now and on this fic I wished for DT's humiliation, torture, and death.
Now, as far as Dash, I actually agree. If Cheerilee stopped at beating her ass raw before she began to bleed, I would say she deserved corporal punishment. But striking Silver who was just trying to get her to stop and reevaluate her actions, and then continuing to flay her ass and try to finish by snuffing her, was almost unforgivable.
Filthy Rich, bless his soul, had a right to his wrath but i can't see him getting off scott free without Ponyville burning in a riot!
But the past is past and Diamond has a new direction, which is good. I would hope that Cheerilee was forgiven her sudden break in sanity and her assisted suicide. But thats up to you how the afterlife judges ponies.
fuck though! she's not MY GOD by any means, dammit.
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I get why Twilight is on your "do not respect" list. She had a responsibility to remain impartial and she chose convenience over ethics when she had previously forsaken said convenience (the Orbital Friendship Cannon) in Equestria Girls when she refused to give her Big Crown Thingy to Sunset Shimmer. And I definitely get why Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are not on your good side - particularly with Flutters (and, to an extent, Diamond Tiara pre-Operation Diamond Exchange) being a poster child for borderline personality disorder - but you have Pinkie Pie on that list and I thought I'd throw in my two cents.
My Pinkie Pie is making a lot of dumb choices. She kept the blood tears a secret rather than go to her friends about it, she broke off a friendship with a filly who needed friendship and understanding more than ever (and then threatened her), she ran away when Fluttershy and Mayor Mare witnessed the blood tears, she drank a potion that didn't belong to her which for all intents and purposes could have KILLED her, she humiliated Zecora (and stole one of her robes; just trying to be thorough), she holed herself up in a sewer, she terrified a couple of fillies to swindle sustenance out of Diamond Tiara, and she attempted to kill both Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
Pinkie is sort of being carried along on the currents of a raging river. Her better judgment is clouded, to say the least because she is terrified of being ostracized by the town she loves. She'd rather leave it than be faced with rejection by Ponyville's population. But her very presence, as shown in Magical Mystery Cure, gives Ponyville an identity.
Pinkie's done dumb things. Guess who else has been doing dumb things in Pinkie's absence? If you guessed Ponyville, you're right.
"But angelbunny, what are you saying?" I'm saying that there's a direct correlation between Pinkie's absence and the madness that has most Ponyvillians under its sway. If she had stuck around, she would have been on the GeRMs like Jesus Christ cleansing the temples of moneylenders.
So I personally see Pinkie as a victim. The attack on Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon was a poor decision with previous poor decisions as its foundation. She doesn't see a way out of this fine kettle of fish in which she has found hersef but even in her fractured state of mind, she opts to do what she believes will save more lives, regardless of the legal consequences that would surely come her way. Would I call that kind of sacrifice heroic? Made you look.