Monstrosity
A chilly gust of evening wind teased Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash’s forelocks as the four mares stood over a covered stallionhole situated just behind the Castle of Friendship. The four friends were clad in gray ponchos and wore saddlebags filled with supplies and equipment to aid in their search for Pinkie Pie. Applejack and Rainbow Dash wore miner’s helmets while Twilight and Rarity wore the hoods attached to their ponchos so as to allow them unobstructed use of their horns to cast illumination spells as needed.
“Y’know,” said Rainbow Dash, “it might not have been such a bad idea to have asked Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara which stallionhole they saw Pinkie enter. She could be anywhere down there.”
“You’re half right,” noted Twilight. “Pinkie could be anywhere down there - which is why knowing which stallionhole they saw her enter wouldn’t have made much of a difference. And that makes going down the closest stallionhole as good a place as any to enter. It’s a reasonable assumption that Pinkie came down here in the first place because she was afraid of being ostracized by everypony over her death knell Pinkie sense. When we find her, we have to reassure her that nopony will judge her for it. If she’s still skittish, it may be necessary to use force to subdue her.”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack nodded. They were a pair of competitive, hardworking ponies who were no strangers to going hoof to hoof when push came to shove.
“I understand,” stated Rarity.
Surprised by Rarity’s answer, Rainbow Dash and Applejack’s heads turned to look at Rarity.
“Really?” asked Applejack and Rainbow Dash simultaneously.
“What do you mean ‘really’?” asked Rarity.
“Well, don’t take no offense,” said Applejack, “but you don’t exactly come across as the ‘take somepony down’ kinda pony.”
“Yeah,” added Rainbow Dash. “I mean, if you can do it, that’s cool... but I just didn’t think you had it in you.”
Rarity rolled her eyes but then turned up her nose and closed her eyes. Her horn lit up as she cast a levitation spell, suspending both Applejack and Rainbow Dash in mid-air.
“Now try and escape me,” she dared.
“Ya got me, pardner,” admitted Applejack with a sheepish grin and a chuckle. “Ah reckon we were thinkin’ in more physical terms than magical but force is force. Whatever works, right?”
Never one to back down from a challenge, Rainbow Dash beat her wings furiously as she fought to escape Rarity’s telekinetic hold on her. Rarity returned Applejack to the ground and devoted her concentration on keeping Rainbow Dash subdued, a feat that was becoming increasingly difficult.
Twilight tapped her hoof as she waited for this time wasting exercise to conclude.
“You guys,” she muttered. “I have to be in court by six AM.”
With great effort, the pegasus had managed to put some distance between herself and Rarity – about fifteen feet and gaining. Rarity returned Rainbow Dash to the ground and telekinetically dabbed her forehead with a hoofkerchief from her saddlebag as she caught her breath.
“Aw, yeah!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash triumphantly as she trotted back to the group, huffing and puffing. “You gave up. I win.”
“Pinkie Pie doesn’t have wings,” asserted Rarity. “So, for purposes of this mission, it’s a moot point.” Rarity returned her hoofkerchief to her saddlebag and removed a bottle of neighvian spring water from it. “I trust that my little demonstration has proven my point.” She opened the bottle and took a sip.
“Yeah. Still, I had you on the ropes there for a while; admit it.”
“Piffle, Rainbow Dash. Why, I hadn’t even begun to truly exert myself.”
“Oh, so you have some reserves, do ya? Well, so do I. Wanna go again?”
“If I may be allowed to continue,” grumbled Twilight.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash ceased their horsing around and remained silent.
“The Ponyville sewer system is ridiculously large so I’ve made us all copies of a map in the event that one of us gets lost.” She levitated a rolled-up parchment from her saddlebag and placed it in Applejack’s saddlebag. “I highly recommend not losing them or letting any harm come to either your headlamps or your emergency flashlights. The general lighting down there may not be bright enough to read your maps.” She gave Rainbow Dash a copy and moved down the line to give the last map to Rarity. After inspecting her crew, she telekinetically raised all of their germ filter masks over their respective muzzles. “Is everypony ready?”
“Ready,” said the mares.
“Then let’s begin the search. I’d rather that we find Pinkie ourselves but if we fail, we’ll call it a night and ask Princess Celestia to send another company of royal guard tomorrow morning. They can cover more ground within a shorter period of time than the four of us. I’d ask the current company of guards we have here but they’re still needed on the surface to maintain the peace.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash switched on their helmet lamps while Rarity cast an illumination spell.
Twilight levitated the stallionhole cover and set it aside on the ground. As her horn glowed with her own illumination spell, she approached the open stallionhole and found a cloaked pony within, standing on the ladder.
“Hi, guys” said the pony calmly, poking her masked head up from the stallionhole.
“DAHHH!!!” screamed Twilight as she quickly hopped back and cancelled her illumination spell. The others, startled by Twilight’s reaction, shrieked and initiated a tactical group hug among themselves.
“Take it easy,” said the pony as she climbed out of the stallionhole and stood on solid ground. “It’s just me.” She lifted her mask and revealed her identity as the objective of their mission: Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash gasped as she removed herself from the group hug.
“P-Pinkie Pie?!” squeaked Rainbow Dash as she removed her helmet and pulled her germ filtration mask off. The rubber band which kept it attached to her face snapped and struck the side of her cheek. “Ow.” Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity lowered their masks and trotted to their found friend. Rainbow squealed with joy as she flew past her friends with her forelegs wide open to greet Pinkie with a tackle/hug – only to be sidestepped and dodged completely by her intended hug target. Rainbow landed on her belly, slid in the grass, and then came to a stop.
The others, unsure of what had prompted Pinkie to avoid the hug, stopped short of coming into contact with her.
Rainbow Dash lifted her head and spat out some blades of grass that had collected on her lips.
“What the hay was that?” asked Rainbow Dash as she stood up and turned around to face Pinkie.
Pinkie lowered her mask over her face.
“Guys,” said Pinkie, her voice muffled by her comedy mask. “I’m gonna have to ask that you all keep your distance. Do not – I repeat – do not try to hug me.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes grew wide. She tilted her head to an absurd angle.
“You don’t want a hug?” asked an incredulous Rainbow as she flew back by Rarity and Applejack’s side. “You? Of all ponies?”
“Do I want a hug?” Pinkie Pie chirped up a chuckle storm that was more unnerving than contagious. Rarity and Applejack looked at one another, wondering what was so funny about Rainbow Dash’s question. “Do I want a hug? Oh, Celestia, I want a hug more than you know... but I don’t dare take you up on it. You’re my friends and I want to be extra careful around you.”
“Careful?” asked Twilight.
“Whyever would you reject our affections, Pinkie?” asked Rarity.
“Yeah, ain’tcha glad ta see us?” asked Applejack.
“Of course I am,” stated Pinkie. “I’ve missed you all so much... but my request still stands.”
Rainbow Dash’s wings flapped anxiously as her head whipped left and right. She threw her forelegs around Applejack and administered a bear hug. The farmpony groaned from the pressure that Rainbow was using.
“What’re ya huggin’ me for?” asked Applejack.
“I had to get it out of my system,” replied Rainbow Dash, “and you were the closest.”
Rarity stepped closer to Pinkie Pie.
“As unusual as your request may be, I suppose we can respect your personal space,” said Rarity. “But I do believe that we’re entitled to an explanation.”
“It’s a long story,” replied Pinkie.
“Well, here’s a short one,” said Twilight. “We know about your death knell Pinkie sense... and we promise not to be alarmed by it should it manifest itself again.”
Pinkie tilted her head.
“‘Death knell’? Really?”
“Why? What name did you settle on?”
“I didn’t name it anything. It’s just a little weird that you have.”
Twilight blushed and grinned as she rubbed her left foreleg against her right foreleg.
“Nnnnnnnnwell, yes, I can see that... but you’ve got to admit it’s accurate. Is it that it’s too dramatic?”
“You think? Way to make me feel self-consci-” Pinkie tilted her head. “Hey.” She took a quick head count to verify that they were one pony down. “Where’s Fluttershy?”
“She’s probably still back at the castle if she ain’t left for her cottage yet,” speculated Applejack.
“Is she okay?”
“Define ‘okay’,” requested Rainbow Dash in a surly tone. “She eloped.”
“No kidding?” Pinkie lowered her head and poked at the ground with her hoof. “Well, at least somepony around here has found some happiness. I can’t wait to hear all about it – later.” Her voice took on a more serious tone. “There’s a more urgent matter we have to address right now, though.”
“Oh?” asked Twilight. “What’s that?”
“Do you remember when Ponyville was invaded by parasprites and I was trying to collect those instruments I needed to lure them out of town but you wouldn’t listen to me?”
“Who could forget that?” asked Applejack. “What about it, sugar cube?”
“This is sort of like that... only worse. What I’m about to say is gonna sound just as strange but I need you to trust me on this. There’s a threat to Equestria lurking in our midst and I could really use your help to vanquish it. We’re a team. When we work together, I believe that there’s no menace we can’t defeat.”
“Awright, Pinkie Pie!” whooped Rainbow Dash. “If the day’s in need of saving, you can count me in!” She smiled and held her left foreleg out toward Pinkie for a hoof bump. “Good to have you back.”
Pinkie Pie hesitated to participate in the hoof bump.
Confused by Pinkie’s reaction, Rainbow Dash’s smile went away.
“What; you’re just gonna leave me hangin’ here?” asked Rainbow.
“Um....” Pinkie inspected her own stealth suit-covered right forehoof to assess the fabric’s structural integrity. “Uhh... Hmm...” Pinkie reached into her cloak and pulled out a six inch by six inch square shaped piece of foil. “Would you mind putting one of these on first, Rainbow?” Rainbow Dash took the square in her teeth, held it in her forehooves, and examined it.
“A latex hoof sheath?” asked Rainbow Dash flatly.
“Hey, I don’t know what you have. If you want a hoof bump, I’m down with that... but let’s go about it safely, okay?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and sighed.
“It’s just gonna decrease the sensation,” she grumbled as she began to tear the foil open with her teeth.
“We’rrrrre... not gonna ask why ya have one o’ them latex thingies,” said Applejack. “But ah stick by mah friends no matter what. You can count on me ta help any way ah can.”
“The feeling’s mutual, to be sure,” said Rarity.
“Then it’s unanimous,” said Twilight. “So what’s the situation?”
“We need to kill Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,” explained Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped, causing the hoof sheath packet in her mouth to fall to the ground.
Twilight looked at Applejack while Rainbow Dash looked at Rarity. They were all equally shocked by Pinkie’s morbid mission. Rarity was the first to break the silence.
“Pinkie, darling, did... you just... say...”
“Oh, Celestia, not this manure again,” remarked Applejack, facehoofing and drawing her hoof downward, temporarily stretching her features out of frustration. “Didn’t we just get done convincin’ the Crusaders not ta hurt those fillies?”
“Your plan doesn’t sound strange, Pinkie,” said Rainbow. “It sounds hoofing insane!”
“Pinkie, I know what they did to Twist was mischievous,” said Twilight, “Even criminal. But-”
“This has nothing to do with revenge!” insisted Pinkie. “Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are gonna grow up to be nasty, bitter old mares who vow to destroy Equestria – starting with Ponyville. I’ve seen the future.”
“I hate to break it to you, Pinkie,” said Rainbow Dash, “but your Mystical Orb of Fate’s Destiny is not a legit tool for seeing into the future.”
“I didn’t use my hoofing orb, Rainbow!” shouted Pinkie as she stretched her neck out to glare at Rainbow Dash. “I know because... oops! Neck.” Her elongated neck retracted to keep it protected. “I know because I saw it with my own eyes! I saw it by...” Pinkie turned her head and poked at the ground with her right forehoof. “I saw it by drinking that white potion that Zecora gave to Twilight.”
“You what?” yelped Twilight. “Pinkie, that potion was for alicorn ingestion only! You could have been poisoned! You could have died!”
“Well, I didn’t. The important thing – the most important thing – is that we make sure that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon never reach old age.” Pinkie approached Twilight as closely as she dared and gazed into her eyes with desperation. “Twilight, you’re the most rational and reasonable pony I know. Please listen to what I’m about to say. I know I can be random. I can even be eccentric. That’s just how I have my fun. But I am not crazy. You know as well as I do that the potion lets you see the past. We all trusted you when you said that you saw the past. Now trust me when I say that, as a result of drinking it, I now have the ability to see both the past and the future. Unlike you, though, the potion hasn’t worn off on me. I guess it works differently depending on the tribe of the pony drinking it. For some reason, when an exposed part of my body comes in contact with an exposed part of somepony else’s body, I’m able to see their most painful memory as if I was there myself.”
“So if I’m understanding you correctly,” said Rarity, “you touched Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”
“Mm-hm,” replied Pinkie with a nod.
Rarity turned her head to face Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash.
“I don’t recall Fluttershy mentioning anything about their coming into contact with Pinkie, do you?”
Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash shook their heads.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except ending their lives for the good of everypony.” Pinkie looked at the ground. “There’s something else.” Pinkie lifted her head and looked at Rarity. “Rarity, I never told you the results of my medical examination. And that’s because they were terrifying. The blood I shed when I was at Carousel Boutique wasn’t my blood type. It was Twist’s blood type: Type T. But it wasn’t just anypony’s type T blood. It was Twist’s actual blood. It ignored all the laws of physics and logic and transferred from her body to my eyes right around the time that the train hit her.”
Rarity gasped and held her right forehoof to her mouth.
“Oh, my Celestia,” said Rarity softly, followed by a gulp.
“Land sakes,” muttered the usually unshakable Applejack.
“Okay... I’m glad I’m not the only one totally freaked out right now,” admitted Rainbow Dash. Twilight jabbed Rainbow in the side with her wing. “Oh! But, um... we totally don’t judge you for it.” She smiled nervously at Pinkie.
“It’s all right, Rainbow,” said Pinkie. “Any normal pony would be freaked out by it... which is why I ran away. But my ability is what led me to witness Diamond Tiara’s future in the first place... so if I use the knowledge I’ve gained to save Equestria, it’ll have made my drinking of the potion worth it.”
“Wait,” said Twilight. “How do you know that you cried Twist’s blood? Did you collect samples and have Petri Dish perform DNA tests on it?”
Pinkie shook her head.
“I know because my...” Pinkie rolled her head around in a wide circle to denote sarcasm. “...‘death knell’ Pinkie sense works in concert with the potion: blood counts as an exposed body part. When Fluttershy and I found Mayor Mare and the...” Pinkie rolled her head around again. “...‘death knell’ went off again-”
“All right, already,” growled Twilight as she scrunched her face up and blushed again. “Cut it out.”
“...I touched my tears and saw Cheerilee’s most painful memory – her last one.”
Twilight’s ears drooped.
“So you know that Cheerilee is... gone?”
Pinkie nodded slowly.
“And since that was her actual blood,” continued Pinkie, “that would have made that first time Twist’s actual blood.” Pinkie sat down and hung her head. “Oh, poor Cheerilee. What in Celestia’s name is Ponyville gonna do without you?”
Rainbow Dash turned to face Twilight and grinned.
“Y’know, Twilight,” said Rainbow, “this could be the break that you’re looking for. Pinkie’s testimony can help you bring Filthy’s trial to an end.”
“Trial?” asked Pinkie as she lifted her head. “So he was caught, huh?”
“Yeah, Filthy Rich was arrested right after the murder and Princess Celestia appointed Twilight as the judge to his trial.” Rainbow faced Twilight again. “Pinkie witnessed the murder, Twilight. Put her on the witness stand and Filthy’ll be swinging from a noose by tomorrow night.”
“Filthy’s already pled guilty to Cheerilee’s murder,” explained Twilight. “It’s the rape and the marenapping charges that are being disputed.”
Pinkie gulped.
“He... raped her, too?” asked Pinkie.
“Yes,” said Rainbow Dash.
“Allegedly,” corrected Twilight.
Bewildered and dismayed, Pinkie Pie lay down.
“Oh, dear sweet Celestia,” whispered Pinkie. “I sure am glad I didn’t have to sit through that, too.”
“He’s gonna hang for the murder, right?” asked Rainbow of Twilight. “What difference does it make if that happens with or without his dick attached? I mean, you tell me: isn’t character assassination really all this trial is about at this point? Hanged is hanged. Convince the DA to withdraw the lesser charges, put Pinkie on the witness stand, she’ll describe what she saw, you can convict him of what we can prove he did, and be done with it already.”
Twilight recoiled slightly. She opened her mouth and hesitated before speaking.
“I-I can’t do that,” she said, scratching her crest with her left forehoof while avoiding eye contact. “Pinkie may have seen what happened but she’s no more of an eyewitness to Cheerilee’s murder than I was to Princess Luna’s transformation into Nightmare Moon. Seeing the past with that potion is a magical ability, meaning her testimony would be inadmissible in court.”
“Oh, come on, Twilight!” snapped Rainbow Dash. “This should’ve been an open and shut case. Fluttershy said she wouldn’t hold your decision against you so what’s the holdup?”
“Fluttershy?” inquired Pinkie, lifting her head.
Twilight frowned at Rainbow Dash.
“There is no holdup,” barked Twilight snarkily. “This is just how the system works. And even if there was a holdup, I’m not at liberty to discuss it – and I’m certainly under no obligation to explain the concept of due process to you.” Rainbow Dash was taken aback by Twilight’s harsh tone. “What you perceive to be a holdup is, in fact, me doing things by the book and this might come as a surprise to you but these things take time. This is my case to officiate and I’ve been doing just fine without an impatient forelegchair quarterback telling me how I should be doing my job. The day that Princess Celestia decides that you’re qualified to oversee a trial of your own, I’ll gladly defer to your authority and trust your better judgment... but until that day comes, I’m the one calling the shots... so, if it’s not too much trouble, could you please get off my hoofing back?!”
Rainbow Dash’s ears drooped. Her lower lip jutted out as she turned her head away from Twilight and sat down. Twilight sat down and covered her mouth with her forehooves, surprised at herself for the way she spoke to Rainbow Dash.
Twilight looked at Applejack. The expression of disdain on the farmpony’s face matched the one on Rarity’s. And although Pinkie’s face was obstructed by her mask, it was a sure bet that the party pony wasn’t happy with her.
Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. She walked over to Rainbow Dash with her head hung low.
“I’m so sorry, Rainbow,” said Twilight softly. She lay down before the victim of her outburst and rested her jaw on the grass by Rainbow Dash’s forehooves. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. You can’t imagine how much stress I’ve been under with this trial. I represent the spirit of magic and I’m in a situation where magic is forbidden. And the Princess of Friendship has to do a job without any help from the friends she cares about the most. When I’m in that courtroom, I feel as though all of my strengths have been taken away from me and all of my weaknesses are being paraded about. I know that’s not a valid excuse to scold you like a foal but... it’s all I’ve got.” Twilight opened her glistening eyes and looked up at Rainbow. “Please forgive me.”
Rainbow Dash faced forward and grinned weakly at the humble alicorn before her. She lay down beside her and placed a foreleg across the back of her neck.
“Yeah, I can do that,” declared Rainbow Dash, nuzzling Twilight’s cheek. “And we all know you’ve been stressed out. Who wouldn’t be under all that pressure? I guess that’s one of the reasons why I’m so impatient. We’re worried about you. This trial’s been keeping you away from us and we miss having you around.”
Twilight smiled.
“Thanks,” she said. Rarity and Applejack approached Twilight and Rainbow and the four mares hugged.
Rainbow leaned to her left, looked at Pinkie Pie, and smiled.
“We’ve missed having all of our friends around,” noted Rainbow Dash. Pinkie sat up and hugged herself for want of a hug. “Hey, what happens when you touch yourself?”
Pinkie Pie gigglesnorted.
“Didn’t they teach you that in phys ed, Rainbow?” asked Pinkie.
Everypony shared a laugh at Pinkie’s raunchy quip.
“So, since we’re all feeling chummy now, what do you say, you guys?” asked Pinkie. “Can I count on your help on this?”
Rainbow Dash left Twilight’s side and approached Pinkie Pie while keeping her distance. Twilight got up and followed Rainbow Dash.
“Seriously?” asked Rainbow. “You couldn’t guess our answer on your own? Hay. No.”
Pinkie’s ears drooped.
“But-”
“You must be off your nut, girl,” added Applejack. “Ah’m powerful sorry ‘bout what you went through an’ all that but ah ain’t about ta kill no foals fer any reason – an’ neither should anypony.”
“But-”
“Absolutely out of the question, darling!” stated Rarity. “What you’re proposing goes against everything we believe in! It goes against everything you believe in, for that matter! Quite frankly, I’m appalled that you’d have the audacity to suggest that any of us should take anypony’s lives, to say nothing of the lives of a couple of children. Do you take us for a band of assassins?”
Pinkie turned to Twilight who had yet to give her an answer. She knew that if Twilight said yes, there was a chance that she could sway the others to follow her lead. The fact that Twilight didn’t adamantly spit out a blind no as the other girls did meant that there was still a glimmer of hope.
“Do you know the means by which they plan to destroy Equestria?” asked Twilight. “Is it with some kind of spell or monster? If that’s the case, we can just eliminate it instead of the girls.”
Pinkie hesitated.
“Uhh... I didn’t get that far in my vision... but I saw Diamond Tiara’s rage and I heard her anguish. I didn’t have any context for the specifics of her rant but I got enough of it to know they plan on doing Ponyville some serious harm. And with the fortune they’re gonna inherit from their parents, there’s no monster, spell, saboteur, or doomsday weapon that they couldn’t get their hooves on. They were old in my vision; like, Granny Smith old – which would make us even older. If we don’t kill them while we’re able-bodied and have our wits about us, we’ll be too feeble, too senile, or too busy pushing up daisies to do anything when they finally make their move.”
“Pinkie,” said Twilight. “The six of us have rainbow power-”
“Wait,” said Rainbow Dash. “Wwwhat kind of power?”
“I said ‘the six of us have rainbow power’,” repeated Twilight. “But there’s nothi-”
“I didn’t catch that,” said Rainbow Dash with a poorly concealed smirk. “What was the name of that awesome world-saving power we have called again?”
Twilight leered at Rainbow Dash’s facetious interruption. Rarity approached Rainbow and held the pegasus’ mouth shut with her right forehoof.
“Rainbow, darling, do close your mouth now, please,” said Rarity with a grin. “You’re letting out all of the annoying.”
Twilight returned her attention to Pinkie Pie.
“There’s nothing that says there won’t be a next generation of ponies who can wield rainbow power once we’ve passed on or retired from active service to the Princess.”
“Just like there’s nothing that says that there will be a next generation of ponies who can wield rainbow power!” countered Pinkie. “We can’t afford to gamble on your solution panning out!”
“And you expect us ta gamble on yours?” asked Applejack.
“IT’S THE ONLY WAY WE CAN BE SURRRE!!” screamed Pinkie, flailing her forelegs about while hopping on her hind legs.
“No, it isn’t,” said Rarity. “I may have a solution. Spike is going to outlive every pony in town. We could charge him with the task of keeping an eye on those girls and dealing with any situation that may come to pass.”
Pinkie Pie scoffed at Rarity’s solution with an exaggerated sputter.
“Oh, come on, Rarity!” squawked Pinkie. “Are you seriously saying that you’d be able to sleep at night knowing that the fate of Equestria is resting in Spike’s claws?”
“Hey,” protested Twilight.
“And just what do you mean by that, Miss Pie?” asked Rarity. “Spikey-Wikey is a hero in his own right and he’s just as capable as any of us.” Rarity turned to Applejack. “Isn’t that right, Applejack?”
“Uhh... you don’t want an honest answer to that, do ya, sugarcube?” asked Applejack with a nervous smile.
Rarity turned to Rainbow Dash.
“Let me guess,” said Rarity. “You feel the same way.”
“No, no,” denied Rainbow Dash. “He’s uhhhhh... I think he’s brave... annnnd... smart? A-And he can be pretty quick on his feet when he has to be. I’m sure he can-” Her ears drooped. “Okay, yeah, you got me; I do feel the same way.”
“I’ve got an even better idea,” said Pinkie. “Twilight can order the castle guards to march on over to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s houses. They’ll enter their bedrooms while they’re asleep, cut their heads off...” Pinkie sat up and swatted her forehooves across one another for effect. “Bing-bang-zam, problem solved, no blood on any of our hooves; a little from my eyes, maybe, but you can’t make an omelet yadda, yadda, yadda.” Pinkie stood on her hind legs and raised her right foreleg to the starry sky in a pose of celebration. “Yay, friendship!”
Disgusted by Pinkie’s outrageous suggestion, everypony’s face wrinkled.
Pinkie lowered her foreleg.
“No ‘yay friendship’?” she asked.
“No!” spat out a dismayed Twilight. “No ‘yay friendship’! Guards decapitating foals is not the basis for a ‘yay friendship’! They have the right to disobey a direct order on moral grounds, even if I gave them a special dispensation for carrying it out. I’d still be the one directly responsible for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s deaths.”
Pinkie shook her head.
“Nuh-uh,” argued Pinkie. “They’re traitors. And high treason is punishable by death, anyway. It would be a lawful execution with no gray area. Your brother’s a soldier; he would agree with me.”
“No, he wouldn’t, because those girls won’t commit their act of treason for at least half a century. So, yes, taking their lives before their treachery would be premeditated murder. And knowingly acting as an accessory to a murder is illegal, immoral, and would stamp all of our souls with a guaranteed one-way trip to Tartaros for eternity. We would never knowingly commit an evil act – even to prevent another one from happening.”
Rarity inserted herself between Twilight and Pinkie Pie, looking the earth pony in the eye.
“Not to mention that the murder of two fillies who we’re supposed to kill based solely on your testimony that they’re going to commit crimes against Equestria years from now would be an atrocity that we’d remember for the rest of our days,” added Rarity. “How would we live with ourselves after helping you commit such heinous deeds?”
“Then there’s the fact that Diamond Tiara is Fluttershy’s stepdaughter now,” added Applejack.
“WHAT??” squawked Pinkie.
“Yeah, Filthy Rich is Fluttershy’s new husband. You didn’t know?”
“No!”
“Well, it’s true.”
“Good thing she isn’t here, then.”
“So you’re actually askin’ us ta help you kill our mutual friend’s young‘un. If we went along with it, how would we ever look Fluttershy in the eye again?” Applejack narrowed her eyes at Pinkie and angled her head slightly. “Say, you ain’t been approached by those GeRMs, have ya?”
“I lived in a sewer, AJ,” said Pinkie. “The whole place is crawling with germs.”
Applejack groaned and pulled her hat over her face.
“Pinkie, we were all so worried when you went missing,” said Rarity. “Yet, now that we’ve found you, our worry hasn’t abated at all. The Pinkie Pie we all know and love enjoys parties, laughter, and friendship... and she would never suggest such a grisly course of action no matter what was at stake. Can’t you see how awful this plan of yours sounds?”
“You just don’t get it,” asserted Pinkie. “Desperate times call for desperate measures! Those girls are gonna be just as bad as Tirek; maybe even worse since they’ll have decades to operate within Equestria unsupervised.”
“Tirek was different,” noted Twilight. “He was and is a clear and present danger. From what you’re telling me, you have little more than a hunch that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are going to follow through with what you overheard. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Killing ponies who aren’t due to be suspects until they’ve become senior citizens is not how we confront our enemies.”
“And if that’s how you roll now,” said Rainbow Dash, “where does it go from there?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Are you gonna buck pregnant mares in their bellies because you believe that they’re carrying the fetuses of future criminals?”
“Slaughterin’ innocent foals is what villains do, Pinkie,” pointed out Applejack. “Not heroes like us.”
Pinkie’s head turned from pony to pony. Everypony was against her. She drew in a deep breath and released it slowly.
“Heroes like us, huh?” she asked rhetorically. “Since when does doing nothing make somepony a hero? Hm? I used to think we were all heroes but now I’m starting to have my doubts. Do you want to know what being a real hero is about? I’ll tell you. It’s about making hard choices that nopony will ever thank you for; the kind of choices that costs you everything you hold dear! It wasn’t an easy one to make but I made it because I know it’s for the future of Equestria! Do any of you actually think I enjoy the idea of killing anypony? Much less a couple of fillies? I love kids! Just not those two. I know the penalty for murder. I don’t want to be jailed or hanged... and I sure as hoof don’t want to burn in Tartaros. But they have to die nowwww.”
Pinkie Pie hopped onto a rock and stood on her hind legs while extending her forelegs outward.
“Take a look around, everypony,” instructed Pinkie. “Have you seen this place? I mean, have you really really-really-really-reeeeeeeally seen it? It’s gorgeous! Even at night, every inch of it is hoofing beautiful. I haven’t traveled all over the world but I can tell you that there can’t be a better place on the planet than good old Equestria. We have food, jobs, a sense of community, housing, medicine, cake...”
“Cake’s food,” said Twilight.
“Shh,” hissed Pinkie abruptly. “My point is that we have these things today thanks to the sacrifices of dedicated mares and stallions who cared enough about Equestria to preserve and protect it from its enemies. I love the life I’ve had, the friends I’ve made, and the land that gives us everything we need. And in honor of those ponies that came before us, I’d pay any cost to keep Equestria safe from those who would do it harm. Why aren’t you...”
Pinkie paused for a moment and looked at her friends’ faces. She saw the myriad of options still open to them. She envied them for it – but after that fleeting moment of envy had passed, she felt happy for them.
“...on... board with...”
She closed her eyes and swallowed.
“I seem to have made a mistake here,” said Pinkie calmly, reopening her eyes.
“Duh!” said Rainbow Dash.
“I don’t mean my stance on Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,” continued Pinkie. “I mean that we’re not the same anymore.” She lifted a corner of her cloak. “You only have to look at how I’m dressed to know that it’s true. You can still get married. Still touch your husbands. Still have children and grandchildren you can hug and kiss. You have the ability to lead normal lives. How could I ask you to give that up? There’s no need for all of us to have this on our consciences.”
She looked at Rarity.
“This is just like what I said to Rarity after we played a game of Horse-drawn and Quartered. I should be the pony to stay behind so that you can climb on my shoulders and live on. It was selfish of me to try and enlist your help. I’m the one who knows the truth about the future. This should be my burden alone. I’ll kill them by myself.” Pinkie turned around, took a few steps, and then stopped to look over her shoulder at her friends. “For what it’s worth, tell Fluttershy, Filthy Rich, and Silver Spoon’s folks that I’m sorry for what I had to do.”
Pinkie walked away – in the direction of the high rent district.
Twilight approached Rainbow Dash and whispered into her ear.
“Hey, Pinkie,” called out Twilight. “L-Let’s not be too hasty here. We might be able to find another option.”
“Don’t trouble yourself,” said Pinkie. “You don’t have to help me. Honest.”
“Could we at least discuss the matter further over some food?” She opened her saddlebag telekinetically and removed a small, clear plastic bag with a bundle that was wrapped in wax paper. “I packed some sandwiches in the event that you might be hungry when we found you. Would you like one?”
“That’s sweet of you, Twilight, really,” noted Pinkie. “But I’ve got this. There’s nothing more to discuss.”
“It’s grilled Swiss cheese with roasted red pepper and asparaguuuuus,” sang Twilight. “– on panini breaaaaaad.” Twilight levitated the sandwich and unwrapped it for Pinkie. “We could split one if you don’t think you can finish the whole thing.”
Pinkie’s stomach grumbled. She smacked her lips.
“A-As I was saying,” stammered Pinkie. “There’s nothing more to discuss... but when it comes right down to it, what has this world come to when a girl can’t take just ten minutes out of her busy schedule to eat with her best friends?” After accepting the sandwich from Twilight, Pinkie slid her right forehoof under the chin of her mask in order to relocate it atop her head and free up her salivating mouth.
While Pinkie’s vision was temporarily obstructed by lifting her mask, Twilight quickly gestured to Rainbow Dash by waving her chin. Rainbow nodded in response and flew into Pinkie Pie with great speed, tackling her and wrestling her to the ground. With no hoof to support it, Pinkie’s sandwich spun in the air twice before hitting the ground and falling apart.
“HEY!!” squealed Pinkie Pie. “GET OFF OF ME!!” Her voice was no longer as muffled due to her mask positioned between being on top of her head and over her face.
“Not gonna happen!” yelled Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie attempted to stand on all fours but Rainbow Dash managed to grab her in a waistlock and utilized a takedown maneuver that sent both ponies tumbling back to the grass with Pinkie lying on her back atop Rainbow’s belly. No matter which side Pinkie tried to tip herself, Rainbow countered it by planting her hind hooves into the ground and shifting her weight in the opposite direction.
“Feel free to help at any time!” grunted Rainbow.
Applejack sprang into action by removing a lasso from her saddlebag and running towards Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Pinkie attempted to thrust her hind legs straight up into the air in order to backwards somersault out of Rainbow’s grasp but it was too late. Applejack had used her award-winning hogtying skills to bind all four of Pinkie’s legs together in record time.
“You don’t realize what you’re doing!” accused Pinkie.
“Actually, I think you’re the one who doesn’t realize what you’re doing,” retorted Rainbow Dash. She gently rolled Pinkie onto her side, slid out from underneath her, and stood up. “Did you seriously think we were gonna let you just walk away from us, knowing what you have planned?” Applejack and Rainbow Dash hefted the party pony up together and set her down on all fours.
“CAREFUL!” screamed Pinkie. “DON’T TOUCH MY FACE! HEEEEELLLP!!”
Applejack lowered Pinkie’s mask back over her face.
“We are helpin’ ya, sugarcube,” insisted Applejack. “We love you. So relax now, y’hear? We don’t wantcha ta hurt yerself.”
“And you have my word that none of your doctors will touch you with their bare hooves,” promised Twilight. “At least until we’re sure that the effects of the potion have worn off.”
“Doctors??” asked Pinkie as she began to breathe heavily. “But I’m not sick!!”
“Then, by my authority as princess, I’m hereby placing you under arrest for the crime of conspiracy to murder,” decreed Twilight.
“WHAT?” shouted her friends.
“Well, we can’t just seize a healthy mare without probable cause.” Twilight looked at Pinkie. “I hate to say it but I doubt a jury would find in favor of a pony who announced her criminal intent to four reliable witnesses.”
“Twilight,” called out Applejack, worried that her friend truly meant to imprison Pinkie Pie.
“I wasn’t finished, AJ,” said Twilight as she kept her gaze fixed on Pinkie Pie. “This is only what will happen if you’re claiming that you aren’t sick. But if you are sick, then, for your own good, we’ll simply place you in the custody of Ponyville Hospital where you’ll be held for psychological evaluation. You’ll be released on your own recognizance once it’s been determined that you’re back to normal. Now then – are you going to make me arrest you as a princess or are you going to let me escort you safely to the hospital as a friend?”
Pinkie trembled.
“Ummm... is there a third option for a pony who’s neither sick nor well but is actually a prankster who’s taken an elaborate practical joke a bit too far?” asked Pinkie. “Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha. Haaaaaaaaa....?”
Rainbow Dash sighed and facehoofed. She covered her mouth with her right forehoof, turned her head, and coughed softly.
“WWWWWOW, what a cough you’ve got there, Pinkie,” she observed. “Sounds like it could be the flu.”
“Or perhaps even pneumonia,” said Rarity.
“Well, that settles it,” said Twilight. “The hospital it is.”
After levitating Pinkie simultaneously for additional security, Rarity and Twilight began the long walk to Ponyville Hospital. Applejack and Rainbow Dash followed closely; each of their mouths held a lasso wrapped around Pinkie’s torso – just in case.
“PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE LET ME GO!!” cried Pinkie. “I’M NOT THE REAL THREAT TO EQUESTRIA!! I’M ONLY GONNA TAKE TWO LIVES! DIAMOND TIARA AND SILVER SPOON ARE GONNA TAKE MILLIONS! MILLIOOOOOOONS!!! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!”
Pinkie stopped crying briefly.
“Could we go back for that sandwich?” she asked calmly.
“No,” said Twilight.
Pinkie resumed her weeping as the opportunity to eat her sandwich – and prevent the destruction of the country she loved – slipped through her hooves.
Her friends were not far from tears themselves seeing their beloved friend so distraught.
The first thing that Silver Spoon noticed after opening her eyes was that there was practically no difference between what she saw now and when her eyes were closed.
The second thing she noticed was that an object was wedged inside her mouth that wasn’t there when she went to bed and it was causing her considerable discomfort. She tried to reach her muzzle so she could remove the offending object but her wrists were bound together behind her back. While she wasn’t surprised to discover that her ankles were also bound together, she had hoped that they were not. Somepony had foalnapped her and it was a certainty that it was not committed by anypony who had her best interests at heart.
One thought barreled its way to the forefront of her mind: something was extremely wrong here.
Panic set in immediately.
She wriggled to free herself but the ropes or cords had reduced her mobility to that of an earthworm. Pushing past her fear and uncertainty, she assessed her immediate situation.
She was lying on her left side on a cold floor that smelled like unfinished lumber. She was gagged with a hoofkerchief that was tied on so tightly that the corners of her mouth were drawn back as far as her lips would allow. Despite how silly she knew she would sound, she owed it to herself to cry out for help in the hope that somepony who was not responsible for her foalnapping would hear her cries and come to her rescue.
Just as she drew in a breath to power her scream, she looked up and saw a tiny flicker of light that could possibly be a lit candle. She heard hoofsteps as several more such lights turned on. Shadows of ponies moved about in the dark room until enough of the flames provided her with a better view. Apple Bloom, the former ringleader of the now defunct Order of The Omelet, was standing beside her. The farm filly wore a satisfied smirk as she looked down upon her captive.
“Oh, good, you’re up,” observed Apple Bloom. “The other Crusaders wanted ta start withoutcha but ah insisted that we wait. Ah didn’t wantcha ta miss out on all the fun we were gonna have – ‘we’ meanin’ just us Crusaders. Ah reckon you won’t be havin’ much fun at all.”
Silver Spoon looked around and recognized her surroundings. This was the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse. All of the window shutters were closed but judging by how no sunlight was coming in, it was either still nighttime or somepony had covered every window with solid wooden planks. Scootaloo made her way into Silver Spoon’s line of sight. The pegasus was making stops at each of the numerous lanterns placed throughout the clubhouse, lighting them, and moving on to the next one. The result was a rust-hued glow which made the place feel like some long forgotten log cabin that had been used only once for some nefarious purpose.
Silver Spoon puffed a sentence through her gag. She sounded just as ridiculous as she thought she would.
“Lemme see if ah got that right,” requested Apple Bloom. “That was either a request ta let you go or a question about where Diamond Tiara was. If mah first guess was right, the answer is... not yet.” Silver Spoon’s ears drooped. “If mah second guess was right, then she happens ta be upstairs with Babs an’ Sweetie Belle. Hey, Sweetie Belle?”
“Yeah?” shot back Sweetie Belle.
“Give Diamond Tiara a love tap so Silver Spoon knows she’s up there with ya.”
“You heard ‘er,” said Babs. “Say hi ta yoah friend, rutface.”
A dull thud sounded out from above which was followed by a sustained, muffled groan. Silver Spoon’s ears perked up. From what she could make out of it, the groan could have, in fact, been made by a cheap-shotted Diamond Tiara who was most likely equally incapacitated.
“Hey, no fair, Babs!” squeaked Sweetie Belle. “She asked me to do it!”
“My bad,” said Babs.
Silver Spoon noticed that the lighting had changed to where the clubhouse was now as brightly lit as it was during daylight hours.
“We hate ta keep you two apart,” explained Apple Bloom to Silver Spoon, “but the thing is we hate draggin’ yer sorry rumps up an’ down the stairs even more... so we thought up a fun way ta bring y’all back together usin’ our mutual friend: gravity. Scoots? Could you lend me a hoof?”
“Absolutely,” said Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo dragged their captive to a steel chair situated in the center of the room. Silver protested the rough treatment but not a word of her displeasure was intelligible. They placed her in the chair and proceeded to secure her upper body to the backrest with rope. Once her upper body had been fastened to the chair, the Crusaders began to untie Silver Spoon’s legs.
“We need to tie your legs to the chair’s legs,” said Scootaloo. “Don’t kick.”
Silver Spoon knew that no good would come of obeying the Crusaders. Once her legs were untied, she began to kick. The chair must have been bolted to the floorboards because as wildly as Silver Spoon kicked, the chair didn’t rock a centimeter.
“I said no kicking!” shouted Scootaloo.
The pegasus reached out with her forelegs and grabbed Silver Spoon’s left hind leg while Apple Bloom grabbed her right hind leg.
Both Crusaders pulled Silver’s legs apart, spreading them. Still holding on to the grey filly’s left hind leg, Scootaloo spun around and delivered a one-legged roundhouse buck to Silver Spoon’s crotch.
Silver’s eyes opened wide as a muffled groan burst forth from her lungs involuntarily.
She couldn’t believe that it was possible for a pony to experience a pain as intense as the one she was now feeling. Her brain was ablaze with activity as her fillyhood relayed the same message over and over: sweet Celestia, that really hurt. The pain was so overwhelming that she couldn’t even scream. She considered herself lucky that she didn’t pass out.
“Try that again and you’ll get five more just like it,” threatened Scootaloo.
The threat did not fall on deaf ears. The dastardly blow had taken the fight right out of Silver Spoon. She didn’t believe that she could have kicked or moved her legs even if she wanted to. Encountering no further resistance, the Crusaders finished tying the gray filly’s ankles to the legs of the steel chair.
Silver Spoon stared down the Crusaders with as cold and contemptuous a glance as she could perform. The Crusaders ignored it.
“Is the camera ready?” asked Apple Bloom, dusting off her forehooves.
Scootaloo ran to a nearby tripod with a movie camera attached and examined it.
“Aye-aye, cap’n,” replied Scootaloo. “Lens cap’s off and everything.”
Apple Bloom turned to face Silver Spoon.
“We’re recordin’ this fer posterity,” she explained.
“And because it’ll be funny,” Scootaloo reminded Apple Bloom.
“That too.”
Apple Bloom smiled and looked at the ceiling with a glint of excitement in her eye.
“Sweetie Belle, have ya gotcher pushbroom ready up there?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am,” called out Sweetie Belle from the second floor. “All set to send you whatever needs sending.”
Silver Spoon’s ears perked up. Sweetie Belle’s voice somehow sounded clearer to her. She looked at the ceiling and spotted an open hatch directly above her chair.
Was this what Apple Bloom meant by being reunited with Diamond Tiara via gravity? wondered Silver Spoon.
“Ready with yer equipment, Babs?”
“Ready, willin’, and able, cuz,” replied Babs.
“Then let ‘er rip.” Apple Bloom took out her movie clapboard and walked in front of the camera. “Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in ‘Around These Parts’, scene one, take one. Action!”
Babs began to hum a jolly tune as a sustained mechanical humming sound came from the same general area. Silver Spoon kept up staring at the hatch as she tried to imagine what could produce a sound like that. She hit upon a theory – and then tried to imagine what else could produce a sound like that.
Diamond Tiara growled and barked muffled words of protest while Sweetie Belle giggled in the background.
After a few minutes, the humming ceased.
“Incomiiiing,” warned Sweetie Belle.
“Okayyyyy,” said Apple Bloom.
The bristles of Sweetie Belle’s pushbroom swept against the second floor’s floorboards. Before long, a mass of some unknown object appeared on the edge of the hatch and then fell slowly. Silver Spoon quickly scrunched her eyes shut and lowered her head to protect her face.
She felt something soft and fluffy land on her head. She opened her eyes and saw long locks of lavender and white hair in her lap as well as on the floor. Babs had apparently shaved off Diamond Tiara’s mane and tail with electric clippers.
“You should come up and see this, Apple Bloom,” giggled Sweetie Belle. “She looks so funny bald.”
“Oh, don’t y’all worry ‘bout me. Ah’ll be gettin’ a good show down here soon enough.”
Silver Spoon whimpered. She didn’t want to lose her own hair but, just like Diamond Tiara, she wouldn’t be given much of a say in the matter.
“Nice work, Babs,” shouted Scootaloo.
“Thanks,” replied Babs. “But dat was just a wuahm-up. Now I’m ready ta kick it inta second geah.”
“We’re ready when y’all are,” said Apple Bloom.
Babs resumed her humming. Diamond Tiara started to yell hysterically through her gag.
A mechanical whirring much louder and stronger than the electric clippers came from the second floor.
“By the way,” said Apple Bloom to Silver Spoon. “That sound yer hearin’? That’s mah brother’s circular saw.”
Silver Spoon’s pupils narrowed in terror.
They wouldn’t dare, thought Silver Spoon. They’re just trying to scare me.
Silver Spoon nearly wet herself at the sound of Diamond Tiara screaming at the top of her lungs through her gag. It was even more bloodcurdling than her screams at the hooves of Miss Cheerilee’s abuse. Its pitch was so high that she sounded more like a screeching eagle. The screaming continued, stopping only long enough for Diamond Tiara to refill her lungs to scream again.
“Holy moley, wouldja shut up, already?” asked Babs.
This can’t be happening, thought Silver Spoon. They’re probably just dangling worms in her face or something like that. I might scream that way, too.
“Ewwww,” said Sweetie Belle. “Incomiiiing!”
“Okayyy,” responded Apple Bloom.
Two small objects fell from the hatch. One landed on the top of Silver Spoon’s head and stayed there. The other landed on her right hind leg.
Silver Spoon looked at the object on her leg. It felt warm.
And for good reason: it was, until recently, attached to Diamond Tiara’s head.
The object was one of Diamond Tiara’s severed ears.
Silver Spoon screamed and writhed about in a desperate dance of fear and rage. The ear on her head fell behind her and the one in her lap was flung off, leaving behind a bloodstain on her leg. She called upon every ounce of strength she had to free herself. If she could not remove herself from this chair – and fast – Diamond Tiara would certainly go into shock from blood loss and could even die if her wounds were left untreated.
The ropes were too strong and tied on too well to come loose. All Silver Spoon could manage to do was bounce her rump up and down like somepony receiving an extended shock from a zap apple tree.
“This is good stuff,” said Scootaloo.
“Whatdja saaay?” yelled Apple Bloom in order to be heard over the power tool.
“I said this is good stuff! You just don’t see this kind of acting from the Applewood movie stars of today!”
“Ah know, right?”
The circular saw dropped in pitch as saws do when cutting through something dense such as wood. Diamond Tiara’s screams grew louder during the drop. Once the saw temporarily rose in pitch again, her screams were replaced by drawn out bawling and the sound of something that had some weight to it bonked against the floor. This occurred four times in the span of a minute and a half. Tears flowed down Silver Spoon’s face as she was tortured by the horrific sounds of the love of her life being mutilated. She was physically and emotionally spent and sank back into her seat.
“Okay, I need ta take a break fer a second,” declared Babs. The sound of the circular saw stopped and a distinct ‘thunk’ sounded out, signifying to Silver Spoon that Babs had set the saw on the floor for the moment. “Whew! Usin’ dis doohickey is tougha dan I thawght.”
“Let me try,” noted Sweetie Belle.
“Nuh-uh. Now sweep dese down the hatch.”
“Fine. Incomiiing!”
“Okayyyy!” approved Apple Bloom.
Silver Spoon lowered her head and closed her eyes in preparation of an impact.
POW.
She saw stars for a moment as a result of being struck in the head by several blunt objects that fell from the hatch. When she opened her eyes, she saw all four of Diamond Tiara’s severed hooves scattered about the floor. Each hoof birthed a slowly expanding crimson pool from its point of severance.
Her coat stained with Diamond Tiara’s blood, Silver Spoon shut her eyes tightly and cried. Her chest hurt even more than her groin and her head combined. She had failed her beloved. She didn’t know how much longer she was going to be able to keep her sanity when more pieces of Diamond Tiara were due to rain down over her. All she could do to numb her agony was blame herself and think about how she could have prevented this from happening.
A soft popping sound rang out and Silver Spoon found herself tipping to her right. She thought that the chair might have been loosened from its bolts in the floor due to her earlier struggle to escape her bonds but this was not the case. The chair remained where it was and she came spilling out of it – and she was able to halt her fall by standing on all fours.
The ropes and the gag were gone. By some act of Celestia, she was now free.
“What the heck?” asked Scootaloo.
“Now this is impressive,” said a voice belonging to one Princess Luna. The alicorn entered the clubhouse slowly looking over the decor and the body parts littering the floor. “A bit nauseating but impressive. You’re having a nightmare, Silver Spoon. None of this is real.”
A tidal wave of relief washed over Silver Spoon upon hearing this news. She and the genuine Diamond Tiara were safe.
Her captors, however, were not.
Silver neighed a fierce battle cry as she charged at the movie camera. She slammed into the tripod shoulder first, knocking Scootaloo down along with the camera.
Princess Luna spread her wings and looked down at Apple Bloom who appeared to be rather intimidated by the sight of the alicorn.
“C’mon, baby!” shouted Apple Bloom as she began to spin a loopty hoop around her waist. “Ah need sex! AH’M A MIDNIGHT COWPONYYYY!!”
The Princess of the Night rolled her eyes.
“That will be quite enough of that, you delusional manifestation of paranoia,” decreed Luna.
She cast her nightmare dispersal spell, causing Apple Bloom to vanish in a puff of smoke. Luna turned her head to see what was causing the loud noises she heard coming from Silver Spoon’s direction – and her pupils narrowed at the sight of it.
Silver Spoon had pried the movie camera free of the tripod and was repeatedly smashing Scootaloo in the head with it, grunting and squealing with rage each time the camera connected with the pegasus’ face and head. Scootaloo yelped and writhed as the assault continued.
With wild eyes that shone with seething hatred, Silver Spoon grabbed the stunned Scootaloo by the tail with her teeth and dragged her to the iron chair to which she had been tied. She hoisted the dazed pegasus onto her shoulder, stood up tall on her hind legs, and held onto her as she quickly dropped to her plot– slamming Scootaloo across the immovable chair’s backrest throat first.
“Ooh!” spat Luna, holding her own throat out of sympathy pain.
One gurgling death rattle later, Scootaloo’s body crumpled to the floor and remained motionless. Blood came bubbling up from her throat like a carbonated beverage that was carelessly shaken. It travelled along the cracks of the floorboards like a series of crimson snakes.
“Ew,” said Luna as she dispersed Scootaloo along with the unsightly residue that had leaked out of her.
Silver Spoon stood on all fours and scowled as she caught her breath. She turned to face Princess Luna and she bowed respectfully. She rose from her bow and ran outside to ascend the stairway. She returned momentarily.
“The stairs to the second floor are gone,” she noted.
“I’m not surprised,” said Luna. “None of this structure is real.”
“Would you mind bringing me upstairs anyway, Your Highness? I want to beat up Sweetie Belle and Babs.”
“You’d better not!” shouted Sweetie Belle, sounding more frightened than confident.
“Yeah, stay down deah or I’ll tell yoah mother about yoah bad attitude!” threatened Babs.
“You aren’t telling anypony jack manure!” shouted Silver Spoon.
“I came here to dispel your nightmare,” explained Luna. “Not to facilitate your revenge fantasy.”
“Awwww.” Silver looked up at the ceiling. “Did you hear that? Princess Luna’s gonna dispel you.”
“I regret nothing!” cried Sweetie Belle. “Except for not getting my cutie mark.”
“I think I’m gonna miss pizza da most,” noted Babs.
With a glow of her horn, Luna dispelled the entire nightmare and relocated them to a lovely replica of a moonlit Ponyville Schoolhouse playground.
Silver Spoon examined herself. The blood that stained her coat was now gone along with any lingering pain from the kick to her filly flower.
“Are you still disturbed by your nightmare?” asked Luna.
“A little bit... but I’m getting over it. Thank you, Your Highness.”
“You have something of a one track mind regarding your friend, don’t you?”
“You could say that.”
“Your nightmares are indicative of a matter that troubles you in the real world. Why do you fear for Diamond Tiara’s life?”
“Because the Crusaders wanted to take it. They still might. They don’t know that she’s changed. I need to convince the real Crusaders that she’s not the same filly – and I need to do that before what happened in this dream happens for real. Anyway, thank you so much for convincing Diamond Tiara to come back and talk to me. We patched things up and our friendship is stronger than ever.”
“Please don’t remind me.”
Silver Spoon tilted her head.
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because I would prefer to forget I helped her achieve anything resembling a positive experience like friendship.”
“So she gave you a hard time, huh?”
“I cannot divulge the details by which I have granted you your boon. They count as royal business and are therefore classified information. I will say that I was less than impressed by her candor. I cannot fathom how you or anypony not suffering from a severe mental disorder would actually want somepony like her back in their lives. You don’t have a severe mental disorder, do you?”
Silver Spoon wrinkled her brow and nose at the question.
“No... but it was very thoughtful of you to ask.” She scratched the back of her head. “I could have sworn that she would have been nice to you. She seems to have turned herself around completely. Did you tell her that I was the one who asked you to give our friendship another try?”
“No.”
“Good. I don’t know how she’d react if she ever found out about that.”
“Had I known what she was like before I accepted your request, I would have told you that you were better off without her.”
Silver Spoon rubbed her left foreleg against her right foreleg.
“Soooo... are you saying that you’re considering returning my – ahhh...” Silver Spoon held her braid in her right forehoof and waved the tip at Luna. “...‘scrunchie’?”
Luna released a tiny neigh and snorted in protest.
“Absolutely not!” she barked. “I held up my end of the bargain. No takebacks!”
Silver Spoon recoiled from the princess.
“All right, already,” said Silver. “Sheesh.”
Luna inspected Silver Spoon’s face.
“What?” asked Silver Spoon.
“It’s recently come to my attention that you and your friend had a hoof in the death of a Ponyville filly,” said Luna.
Silver Spoon gulped.
“Uhhh... yeah. It’s true, Your Highness,” she admitted. “But I swear to you that it was an accident.”
“Knowing about this accident might have influenced my decision to help you had you come forward about it.”
“I wasn’t trying to hide it from you so that you could help me; honest. I mean, I wouldn’t have denied it if you had asked me. It’s just that you and I had just met and... it’s not a story that has good icebreaking potential.”
“Hmm... that’s fair enough, I suppose.”
“Diamond Tiara and I didn’t set out to kill her, Your Highness. We were only gonna pull a prank on her.”
“And was the prank as funny as you were hoping it would be?”
“No!” she replied. “It wasn’t funny at all. I saw the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life! I wake up every morning feeling just fine but when I remember what I did on that afternoon, the guilt hits me and stays with me until I go to bed... and then it starts all over again. I wish I’d never gone through with it.”
Silver Spoon gasped, slapped her right forehoof across her mouth, and reared her head back. She closed her eyed and removed her forehoof.
“DAMN IIIIT!!” she yelled.
“What is the matter, child?” asked Luna.
Silver Spoon lowered her head and looked at the ground.
“I wished out loud again!” she grumbled. “I’m not supposed to do that!”
“You’re not?”
“No. Uhhhh! Of ALL the wishes I could have made out loud!”
“This is the dream world, you know. Technically speaking, you aren’t saying anything out loud at all.”
“That may be but I have no way of knowing if that counts or not.” She struck herself on the head repeatedly with her right forehoof. “Stupid, stupid, stu-”
Silver Spoon paused and blinked.
Something had occurred to her; something that the Princess of the Night was uniquely qualified to help her understand.
“Princess Luna?”
“Yes?”
“Your Highness, on the night of the accident, the victim – her name was Twist – came to me in a dream.” Silver Spoon shook as she posed her question to the princess. “Is it possible for spirits to enter the dreams of the living?”
Luna blinked.
“I do not have an answer for you, Silver Spoon. Never before have I seen a spirit with my own eyes – in the real world or the dream world. Much of the dream world’s properties still remain a mystery to me.”
“Oh. Well, never mind then.”
“Just a moment, child.” A gentle grin graced Luna’s lips. “You have piqued my curiosity... so allow me to make you an offer. I can cast a spell that will allow us to visit your memory of that dream. By your leave, we can watch it right now.”
Silver Spoon smiled.
“That would be awesome!”
“If the filly you saw was just a part of your dream, I can easily recognize her as dreamstuff. If she is something other than dreamstuff, I can sense that just as easily. Shall we go?”
“Yes, please, Your Highness.”
“Just concentrate on that dream and I will take over from there.”
Silver Spoon did as Luna asked. Within seconds, the courtroom from her dream materialized around them.
“Minus one power?” asked the Silver Spoon from the past. “I don’t even know what that means, Your Honor. Is that bad?”
“Okay,” said the current Silver Spoon. “So in a few seconds, everything’s gonna freeze and Twist will be coming through that doorway.” She pointed at the doorway in question.
“Very well,” said Luna.
“This whole dream is bad,” said the adult sized Twist as she stepped into the courtroom. “Zero out of ten. Would not watch again.”
“There she is,” said Silver Spoon. “Now, I know that she looks like a full grown mare right now but in a little while, she’ll turn into a filly.”
Luna tilted her head slowly and gave Silver Spoon a puzzled look.
“Who will?”
“Twist will. That’s her standing right in front of the other me. Is she dreamstuff or is she Twist’s spirit?”
The left corner of Luna’s mouth wrinkled.
“I see nopony in front of you save the judge on the bench and Diamond Tiara on the witness stand,” said Luna. “And they are definitely dreamstuff. Are you sure this is the right dream?”
A shiver ran down Silver Spoon’s spine and the hairs of her coat stood on end.
“Wh-What do you mean?” asked Silver Spoon. “How can you not see her? Curly red mane and tail? Cream coat? Light fuchsia eyes? About your height?”
“There is nopony directly in front of you or anywhere else in this courtroom who matches that description.”
“Your Highness, I swear to you that Twist is standing right there talking to the other me!” Her jaw dropped and she poked her hoof out into space repeatedly while looking at Twist. “Oh, you know what?” Silver faced Luna once again. “Maybe you can’t see her because of the adult form she’s taken. Let’s wait.”
Just as before, Twist transformed into her familiar filly form which then caused the Silver Spoon of the past to scream in terror at seeing a ghost.
“There,” said Silver Spoon, bouncing in the air once. “Now can you see her?”
“Heed me, Silver Spoon,” said Luna. “I believe that you see what you say is there but, on my honor, the only pony I see before us is your past self speaking as though she is having a conversation with somepony.”
Silver Spoon looked back and forth at Twist and Luna, trying to wrap her head around this bizarre mystery.
“Can you even hear her?” asked Silver Spoon. Luna shook her head. “This is, like, crazier than crazy. How can an earth pony filly like me possibly see something that an alicorn can’t?”
“I do not know. Whatever this vision of Twist was, I can assure you that she is certainly not dreamstuff. It may very well be that the spirits of those who have passed on can visit the dreams of the living.” She grinned as she held her hoof to her chin. “I find this revelation to be most intriguing.” Her ears drooped as she lowered her head. “...and yet, I’m also somewhat saddened... for I am now left wondering if I have been visited by my late friends in my own dreams, only for them to discover that I could not detect them.”
“You must miss your friends a lot.”
Luna nodded.
“Were my sister not a constant in my life, I believe that I would have a harder time of coping with their loss. It amazes me how she continues to befriend our subjects, our servants, and our guards at the castle. She takes the time to learn all of their names. She’s familiar with their families. And children! She loves them almost as much as I do. When a group of foals comes to the castle, she shines as brilliantly as the sun itself. Did you know that she sometimes visits orphanages unannounced and reads fairy tales to the children?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“It’s true. I’ve seen it myself. The way she connects with everypony is truly inspiring... and it is something that I can’t bring myself to do to the degree that she does.”
“Have you tried?”
“I dare not.”
“Why not?”
Luna grinned.
“Would you be able to invest yourself emotionally in a deep and meaningful friendship with a snowpony that you had built in your backyard?”
“No.”
“And why not?”
“Because it would hurt too much when summer came and they melted away.”
Luna grinned.
“I’ve seen more summers than I care to count, Silver Spoon. And I’ve built many snowponies... but it never gets any easier to watch them melt away. There’s an expression: it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“Yeah. I’ve heard that one before.”
“There is but one thing I can tell you with the utmost confidence: whoever coined that expression was not an alicorn. Envy not my long lifespan, my little snowpony – for it is I who envies yours.”
Silver Spoon wasn’t quite sure what to make of the turn that their conversation had taken. Princess Luna was unloading some seriously heavy emotional baggage onto her but she was just a filly who was still new to making friends with ponies other than Diamond Tiara.
“Okay,” said the past Silver Spoon. “So, to recap: Don’t wish out loud. Don’t eat ambrosia blossoms.”
Luna’s ears perked up.
“Oh-ho,” chirped Luna. “So this is the dream in which you heard about the ambrosia blossoms.”
Silver Spoon’s head turned and she looked at Luna with surprise.
“You know what ambrosia blossoms are, Your Highness?” she asked. “What are they? What do they d-” Silver Spoon glared at Luna suspiciously. “Wait a minute – how did you know that I had heard about them? Did you talk to Princess Twilight?”
Luna cringed as beads of sweat raced down her royal forehead.
“Uhh.... I-I didn’t... what? You must forgive me. I tend to mumble to myself sometimes.”
“Whaaaaat? You didn’t mumble. You clearly said ‘so this is the dream in which you heard about the ambrosia blossoms.’”
“I... assure you that you heard incorrectly.”
“Don’t give me that. I know when I’m being given the runaround by a grownup. What you know could be the key to solving this mystery. Please tell me what ambrosia blossoms are, Your Highness.”
Clouds of mist gathered around Luna as she lowered her rump to the ground and waved her forelegs at Silver Spoon in slow pedaling motions.
“This is alllll just a dreeeeam...” she moaned eerily.
Silver Spoon looked at Luna with great disappointment to express how little she appreciated having her intelligence insulted.
“Wow,” said Silver Spoon sarcastically. “Really?”
Princess Luna flapped her wings slowly as she flew backward toward the moon.
“I was never actually herrrrrrrre,” continued Luna. “Doodle-loodle-doodle-loodle-doodle-loodle.”
“You’re seriously trying to pull this on me,” noted Silver Spoon in disbelief.
“Pull what on youuuuuuu? I don’t know what you’re talking abouuuuut... but why would I know anythiiiiiing? I’m merely a figment of your imaginatiooooon... Doodle-loodle-doodle-loodle-doodle-loodle.”
“What in- This is- All right; you know what? Fine. If that’s the way it’s gonna be, then you’re not really here – which means that you should have no problem with me doing this.” Silver Spoon picked up a dodgeball and bucked it toward Luna’s cloud. The ball traveled through the cloud and struck something solid before bouncing back.
“OW!!” shrieked the alicorn in her Royal Canterlot Voice. “Ods... BODKINS, that hurt! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow... Right in our hoofing eye!” Covering her left eye with her left forehoof, Luna dissipated her cloud and returned to Silver Spoon. Her uncovered eye glowed brightly and a scowl was locked in place upon her features. “A curse upon thee for thine base villainy, child most foul! Thou dare lobbeth a dodgeball at thy Princess of the Night?!”
Silver Spoon smirked.
“I dunno,” replied Silver Spoon slyly. “Did I?”
Luna flinched.
“O-Of... Of course not, child,” stammered Luna nervously, smiling at the filly. “You did no such thing to the genuine Princess Luna... for we are naught but a dreeeeeeeeam...” Luna flew backward again as the mist surrounded her again and carried her to the moon. “Doodle-loodle-doodle-loodle-doodle-loodle.” Luna placed her forehoof against her eye again. “Ow... Fie!”
“Oh, give it a rest. If you don’t tell me right now, I’ll keep using the summoning spell over and over again.”
“I give you leave to try. I alone maintain the summoning spell. My sister does not. I have but to ignore the calling and nopony shall be the wiser.”
“Then I’ll just have to go to Canterlot Castle and find you in the real world!”
“Oh, yes, good luck finding me. My guards protect me as I sleep during daylight hours. And even if you manage to stay up throughout the night while I am active, I could be anywhere; perhaps even in somepony else’s dreams. I’d like to see you try to follow me there.”
“I don’t care what you say. One way or another, I’m gonna find you and make you tell me what you know.”
The mist cloud concealing Luna stopped floating toward the moon. The princess stuck her head out and glared at Silver Spoon.
“‘Make me’?” she asked. “Why, of all the nerve! Never before in all my years have I seen such insolence apart from Diamond Tiara! You know, I believe that I was mistaken about you; you and your friend are cut from the same incorrigible cloth! You truly deserve one another! Farewell. No; fare poorly!” Luna touched her left eyelid again and winced. “Owwww-hoo-hoo... Worst filly!”
“Worst princess!” shouted back Silver Spoon.
“Brat!”
“Emo!”
“Four eyes!”
“Ex-con!”
Luna sneered. She didn’t care for that label, apparently.
“Butch!” shouted Luna.
Silver Spoon squeaked a short scream upon hearing this attack on her femininity.
“Spinster!” she fired back angrily.
Luna’s good eye glowed as she scowled.
“WE DO NOT NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IN ORDER TO FEEL EMOTIONALLY FULFILLLLLLED!!!!”
Oh, manure, I think I hit a nerve with that last one, thought Silver Spoon.
“Thou art most foolhardy to incur the ire of the Princess of the Night, child - for thine greatest fears are as an open book to us. We decree that one of thy punishments shall be taken from a page within that book.”
Silver Spoon gulped.
Luna’s body grew larger and larger. Her features began to shift. Within seconds she had transformed into a life sized Ursa Major. Rows of long sharp teeth parted as her jaws opened to deliver a mighty roar that sounded like a thunderclap from Tartaros.
Silver Spoon screamed and ran away – despite knowing that there was no way she could possibly escape the massive ursine creature.
The Luna Ursa Major lowered its head and effortlessly bit down on the patch of earth where Silver Spoon was located.
Diamond Tiara awoke to the sound of whinnying. The bed was rocking as though it was being used as a trampoline. She turned on the nightstand lamp and saw a foal-sized lump wrapped up in her comforter, thrashing around on the bed.
“Silver,” called out Diamond Tiara. “Calm down. You’re just having a bad dream.” She pulled the comforter off of Silver Spoon. The terror stricken filly jumped off the bed and whinnied as she whirled in circles, bucking wildly at the air, her hooves narrowly missing the room’s more expensive furnishings.
This was as spooked as Diamond Tiara had ever seen Silver Spoon become.
Diamond Tiara crawled out of the bed as quickly as her stitched rump allowed. Forgoing her harness, she hobbled to Silver Spoon and grabbed her in a headlock to put a stop to her bucking.
“Shhhhhh,” comforted Diamond Tiara. “Take it easy. It’s okay. Nothing’s gonna hurt you.”
The reassurance appeared to work. Silver Spoon was no longer spinning or bucking but she was still breathing quickly and she was trembling like a buzzing buzzard. A few residual neighs of worry worked themselves out of her body before she was silent.
Diamond Tiara released Silver Spoon and hobbled a step back to examine her face. Silver Spoon’s pupils were narrow from fear but she appeared to be all right otherwise.
“That must have been one crazy dream you were having,” said Diamond Tiara with a grin. “You were flipping-”
Diamond Tiara stopped talking because Silver Spoon’s attention was now keenly devoted to her right hind leg. Curious to see what had distracted her, Diamond Tiara observed Silver’s investigation. The grey filly lifted and shook her hind leg – which resulted in drops of urine shaken from her accidentally soaked pajama pant leg. A lump of manure came falling out of that pant leg and landed on the carpet.
Silver Spoon didn’t need her glasses to see what had happened.
Diamond Tiara cringed. Silver Spoon looked back at her. Her face was now a deep shade of red. She was holding back a river of tears and her quivering lips stretched from east to west. She began to sniffle and whine.
“Oh,” said Diamond Tiara with a pained yet sympathetic grin. “Hey, don’t worry about it, all right? It’s no big deal.”
Silver Spoon burst into tears and ran to the bathroom where she locked herself inside.
Diamond Tiara sighed and hung her head.
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Daaaaamn, Luna doesn't play.
Heh, reminds me of a certain other fanfic on this site...
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Sweet corn fritters; if only my story had a tenth of the views that that fic has.
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Lol, I was referring to this one: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/302437/diamond-tiaras-decision
Funny, in the show, Rarity is a physical pony and kick AJ's ass in the season 2 premiere. As far as I recall, she always fight with her bare hooves.
I always assume she isn't a strong magic user. Canon Rarity can use levitation on small things and find rhinestones, and that about all. When she isn't powered by dark magic Book, she isn't that strong.
Jeese, I wonder why ? Maybe because all of Equestria want her dead.
Man, Luna is a scary pony. Why Are you antagonize her Silver ?
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Luna loves children. But she can never finish a whole one. :P Oh, wait, never mind - she can turn into an Ursa Major. I really want to see one of those things walking around Equestria in a new episode.
Luna will only take so much manure off of a foal. She had already had her fill of incorrigible fillies with Diamond Tiara. Silver Spoon hitting Luna in the eye with the dodgeball was bad enough. Calling Luna a spinster? Yeah, that was the last straw.
Okay. First off all; you bastard! You actually had me going there with the Diamond thing!
...Okay. Now that I got that out of my system... it's nice to see you back posting on this. This is something I look forward to quite a lot, to be honest. I can't stress how much I love this story; you're definitely going somewhere, but you're never in too much of a rush to stop and draw out the world and give it life, which I appreciate.
Now, for this chapter in particular, it seems we're moving on, but moving slow. I have to say I love the Mane Five's reaction to Pinkie Pie; the complete realism of their reactions vs Pinkie's slightly justifiable insanity threw my brain into spasms at first, but it made for one of the most hilarious scenes i've read so far (glad she's going to the hospital for help, willingly or otherwise, and I hope she stays). Just as well, Luna and Silver Spoon interaction is comedy gold, despite... what happened before it. Those two play well off of each other, what with seeking respect and being secretive, and Silver wanting answers and not giving a single care who she has to go through to get them. A little awkward that she had an accident on the bed, but it got the point through clearly enough, and at least Diamond was understanding. Although it makes me wonder whether she would have been this lenient before...
But, I suppose that's something I can tease my mind with while I wait for another update; you seem to be good at raising questions (ala ambrosia blossoms, the legitimacy of DT's reformation, whatever happened to Screwloose, etc.). And, as usual, i'm along for the ride until I find answers. Another good chapter; keep up the amazing work.
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Heh, sorry that the CMC chop shop scene was a bit too convincing. I honestly believed that Babs appearing in town out of nowhere with zero buildup might have tipped my lovely readers off that it was a dream sequence. Silver Spoon was just as convinced, if it's any consolation.
The feeling is mutual. Your comments make for one of the more enjoyable and rewarding experiences in my life. The Diamond Exchange is my cutie mark so it's an honor to have you put it under a microscope as only a few others do. I wish there were more like you but it's a hard story to sell to the general public due to its not-for-the-kiddies nature and how it revolves around a pair of characters who have been reviled for four years. I've only just hit fifteen hundred views and I've been working on it for - what; two years? It's hard to keep momentum going when I post chapters as infrequently as I do. I'm not a teenager. I don't have the luxuries of oodles of free time and living in my parents' basement as I did when I was nineteen. I'm a regular nine-to-fiver and I pay rent and bills. While work comes first, knowing that my next chapter will result in a comment from you makes writing The Diamond Exchange come second.
I felt that I went on a wee bit too long in the Mane Four reunite with Pinkie scene. Necessary exposition is necessary. One comedy gag that wound up on the editing room floor was Twilight complaining about how she drew copies of sewer maps for Rainbow, Applejack, and Rarity but never got the chance to test them out because Pinkie showed up at their doorstep, figuratively speaking.
Also, I'm very happy that you enjoyed Luna and Silver Spoon's interactions. We know Luna has a tendency to be overly emotional and is sometimes lacking in social graces when she has lost her temper. I sure wish this Luna Eclipsed aspect of her personality would surface more often; she was so overly sanitized in DPDOMS that it makes me wonder if we'll ever see another "Luna being awkward" moment in the series again. We also know that Silver Spoon still has a bit of schoolyard bully left inside despite her commitment to putting that flaw behind her. Add a little insult to injury and you practically have a couple of foals arguing with each other. They are such a combustible pair.
And yes, Diamond's reaction would have been a lot different had this happened before Operation: Diamond Exchange. I threw this in to show how Di is really sincere about her promises to be good to Silver. Diamond Tiara grew up fast. Now she's maturing.
Any theories as to why Luna couldn't see Twist?
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A manifestation of Silver's guilt?... No, I suppose Luna would be able to see that in the dreamstuffs. Not really dead doesn't make sense, either, unless she found a way to cheat her demise (unlikely, although the unexpected is the standard in this story), or ascend (equally as unlikely). So... i'm going to point it to Twist's spirit coming back to have a go at Silver Spoon. Maybe to help her, maybe to drive her insane. Maybe someone's pulling strings...
...Wow, and you just asked one question. See what this story does to my thought process?
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Those were decent guesses, given that I spin some wacky sh**. They were not even close but don't feel bad. I won't provide the entire answer outright but I'll provide you with a huge spoilery clue. If you or anyone else who reads it can figure it out based on this clue, please spoiler your guesses if you want them confirmed.
<<<<<<<<<SPOILER ALERT>>>>>>>>>>>
Luna couldn't locate Twist for the same reason Discord couldn't locate Pinkie Pie.
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Thank you for your comment. I was beginning to lose hope that I would get a new reader who wanted to vocalize their thoughts about my story when this most recent chapter was received with very little feedback.
No pun intended but, yes, the story's a train wreck. It gets worse before it gets better but that's how things would go down if such events played out in a pastel colored pony universe. There's some comedy along the way to grease the wheels, so to speak.
Please feel free to comment on any chapter you like.
Okay, so i just started reading this today and I've got to say, it's pretty damn good. If I had to provide a bit of criticism, it'd be that Fluttershy made a really sharp about-face with her shyness after that innuendo bread scene with little-to-no buildup, going on to straight up marry Filthy.
Also, that chop shop scene really spun me for a loop too. I half believed that it was real; since we hadn't seen much of the Crusaders' plans lately, it was kind of plausible that Babs could have rocked up behind the scenes. And honestly, given some of the other Heel-Face/Face-Heel turns in the story, I wouldn't have rejected the idea it was real.
6952727 Thank you for your comment.
Your criticism is very fair. I had barely had a small hoofful of appearances by Fluttershy before thrusting her into a position where she changed the game quite a bit. As for the chop shop dream sequence, I suppose Fluttershy did make Face-Heel turns expected so the Crusaders going all Equestria Chainsaw Massacre on Diamond Tiara could have been possible but after they came up with Operation:Diamond Exchange, I assumed that killing Di would have appeared implausible. It wasn't my intention to swerve but Silver had to believe it was real so the reader did, too. I won't employ falsehoods like that in that way again.
Rainbow is a hug-a-phile. She just needed to get it out of her system.
Luna and Silver seem to be of the same mental age me thinks, only it's hard to tell which of the two is less immature.
Nice filler chapter but dang, Silver, you gotta start going to the bathroom before bed even if you don't feel you have to.
Kinda wish there was a break in between all that Pinkie Pie before going back to her crazy. That felt pretty overdone for a bit there, but her some steaks are still good overdone anyhow, right? About time I got my plot down to reading this. Can't wait for the next chapter.
wow..
way to burn that bridge, Silver Spoon.
on the bright side we have further proof that Silver's dream about
returning to help her was prophetic.
which chapter was that in, I want to read Twist's dream scene again
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It's a reference to the My Little Pony collectible card game. Namely, the Lady Justice card.
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/mylittleponyccg/images/2/2d/Premiere_063.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150306085947
7145550 OM
that is bucking brilliant!
I just put a link to this on tumblr. Check out my teaser for it!
One cruel prank, one accidental death, one innocent life lost and the hatred for the two fillies perceived as responsible tips the scales of harmony and sends an entire quiet little town spiraling into a sea of madness of which not even Pinkie Pie herself can escape being swept up in. the repentant Silver Spoon must contend not only with her unrequited love's indifference to the death of their classmate but also vigilante justice, mob mentality and one gruesome gory murder after another. Only one ray of hope exists, a divine intervention (not Celestia) a cryptic vision Silver Spoon receives from beyond the grave. Can Twist help Silver Spoon save whats left of Ponyvile's sanity? Can Diamond Tiara grow a conscience or is she beyond all redemption? Find out in The Diamond Exchange! (unfinished)
let me know if it's too spoiler-y.
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Hey, thanks so much for plugging The Diamond Exchange in the tumblrverse. I think it covers the first part of the story quite well. It might not suit the *entire* story but since those future chapter posts are in the future, I can't exactly blame you.
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Heh, it's not much of a secret if you're telling me about it but I'm happy to hear you approve of Vinylpie. I'm cool with just about any ship that doesn't involve an OC (with Buttonbelle being an exception) Some ships require selling me on it more than others.
Anyway, welcome to my story! I'm back in the saddle again after taking way too much time off contributing to Derpibooru memes. The negativity there wasn't worth the aggravation and so I quit. I'll still browse the artwork and read comments but I am through uploading images and leaving comments there.
I'd "yay, friendship" for some foal death.......
..........wut.......