The Diamond Exchange

by angelbunny

Subsidy

Spike was sitting at his desk in his room at Ponyville Castle, admiring his complimentary The Great and Honorable Spike The Brave And Glorious snowglobe that was sent to him from the Crystal Empire. It featured a replica of the giant statue that was erected in his honor by the crystal ponies. The snowglobe never failed to bring a smile to his face. He would have gladly paid to have this keepsake made – but instead, he was receiving royalties on each piece of Crystal Empire merchandise that featured his likeness, thanks to a mutually acceptable licensing deal.

There was a knock at Spike’s door.

“Come on in,” he said, placing the snowglobe on his desk and swiveling his chair around. The door opened and a unicorn royal guard entered.

“You have some visitors, sir,” said the guard. “A trio of fillies who claim to be friends of yours.”

“Sounds like the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” said Spike. “Send them in – and make sure to put them on the VIP guest list from now on if they’re not there already. Those three are welcome here any time.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh, and do me a favor, would you? Could you call me Spike from now on? I get that you were trained to address everypony respectfully and all that but this castle is my home and I want everypony to feel comfortable in my home, even security personnel.”

The guard grinned.

“As you wish, Spike,” he said.

“And what’s your name?” asked Spike.

The guard winced.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask,” he said.

“Why’s that?” asked Spike.

“Because my initials are D.S. and the D stands for Dragon.”

The dismay in the stallion’s tone caused the wheels in Spike’s head to turn. Once he guessed what the S stood for, Spike’s pupils narrowed.

“Yikes,” he peeped, followed by a gulp. He lifted a finger and pointed it at the guard’s armor-covered flank. “Dooooo I want to see your cutie mar-”

“No,” replied D.S. immediately, cutting off Spike mid-sentence. “No, you don’t. I can pretty much guarantee that.”

“Well, it’s a good thing this isn’t awkward, huh?” Spike chuckled and smiled nervously as he twiddled his fingers. “Please send my guests in...” Spike cleared his throat. “...D.S.”

D.S. nodded. Moments later, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were shown into Spike’s room.

“Hey, guys,” said Spike.

“Howdy, Spike,” said Apple Bloom.

“Whoa...” said an awestruck Scootaloo as she marveled at the furnishings in the room. “Spike, your room is awesome! Everything’s our size!”

“Yeah, pretty cool, huh? I’ve even got my own fully stocked fridge. I mean, it’s a mini-fridge to a pony but I can reach all the shelves inside.” Spike walked to his refrigerator and opened it. “Anypony want an ice cold Crystal Empire sarsaparilla?”

“Ah’ll take one,” said Apple Bloom.

“Same here,” piped Sweetie Belle.

“Sass me,” requested Scootaloo.

Spike removed the caps from three bottles of sarsaparilla, placed a long drinking straw in each of them, and then set the bottles along the outer edge of his coffee table. The Crusaders sat beside the coffee table and began drinking at their leisure.

“Listen, you guys,” said Spike. “I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. Cheerilee was really special... and she’ll always be remembered fondly by everyone who knew her – including me.” Spike’s comment was met with a trio of gentle smiles.

“Why, thank you, Spike,” said Apple Bloom. “We really appreciate that.”

“Yeah, you’re a real sweetheart,” said Sweetie Belle.

The three fillies approached Spike and hugged him.

“Do you know when her funeral is?” asked Scootaloo.

“Actually, her parents have requested a private service,” said Spike, “so Ponyville’s gonna hold its own memorial service for her. When the mayor’s fully recovered from her injury, a date will be announced. So what brings you to the castle?”

“We were wonderin’ if you could send somethin’ fer us,” said Apple Bloom. She bit down on the scroll sticking out of her saddlebag, pulled it out, and approached Spike.

“Is that a message for Princess Celestia?” asked Spike. Apple Bloom nodded. “Always happy to pass along newly learned lessons in friendship. I just need to censor it first and it’ll be on its way.” He reached out for the scroll but Apple Bloom took a few steps away from him.

“Yyyyyeah, so here’s the thing,” said Apple Bloom, returning the scroll to her saddlebag and avoiding eye contact. “We kinda need this ta go straight ta Princess Celestia... uncensored.”

Spike folded his arms and closed his eyes.

“Sorry, no can do,” he said.

“Aw, c’mon, Spike,” whined Apple Bloom. “Couldn’t ya do this for us this one time? Pleeeease?” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo returned to their sarsaparillas and resumed drinking.

“Listen, I’d love to help you out, really – but having a direct line of communication with the princess is a huge responsibility as well as a privilege. Sending her a message that I haven’t vetted first would be an abuse of that privilege. For all I know, that paper could be an unflattering drawing of Princess Celestia doing something very unregal.”

“Spike, seriously, it’s us,” said Scootaloo. “We’re your friends. Do you really think we’d deliberately do something to sabotage your reputation with the Princess?”

“Well, no,” he replied. “...but the point is that if it contained anything objectionable, I’d be the one in trouble, not you. If you can’t trust me, then we can go find Twilight together and you can let her vet it. If she approves it, I’ll send it. The only problem is that ever since she’s taken over the Filthy Rich trial, she’s been kind of hard to reach, even for her number one assistant.”

“It’s not that we don’t trust ya, Spike,” said Apple Bloom. “We do, honest. It’s just that the fewer ponies and dragons who know about this besides Princess Celestia and the three of us, the better off everpony’ll be; Twilight included.”

“Sorry, girls. You’ll have to send it some other way. Have you tried a pegasus courier?”

“We can’t afford one.”

“What about the postal service?”

“Not a chance,” remarked Sweetie Belle. “Have you seen the mailponies in this town? Our message would get lost before it got even halfway to Canterlot.”

“Looks like you’ll have to save up for a courier then.”

“Spike, ya don’t understand. This needs ta be in Princess Celestia’s hooves right now an’ you’re the only one who can get it there.”

“If I didn’t write it, I read it – and if I don’t get to read it, I don’t send it.”

“What if I could get you a date with Rarity?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Spike folded his arms and rolled his eyes in disgust.

“You’re not gonna change my mind by insulting me, guys,” he said. “I’m fully capable of asking Rarity out myself. We’re the best of friends and I know that she’d make time for me.”

“What if I could guarantee that Rarity would kiss you at the end of that date?” offered Sweetie Belle.

“Still not worth the risk of what could happen if you sent objectionable material. Besides, Rarity’s kissed my cheek before.”

“I meant on the lips.”

“Deal.” Spike blew a flame at the scroll and sent the message on its way to Canterlot. “If a reply comes in, I’ll bring it straight to you – unread.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders high-hoofed to celebrate their success.

“Yer the best, Spike,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah,” agreed Sweetie Belle. “And don’t you worry; I’ll come through on that date with Rarity before you know it.”

“You’d better,” warned Spike, “...because if you welsh on me, I’m kissing the three of you instead.” He reached out with open claws and wriggled his digits menacingly. “Mu-hu-ha-ha-haaaaa...” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle screamed and ran out of Spike’s room. Scootaloo remained where she was and watched her friends depart. Spike looked at the pegasus filly, puzzled by her reaction. “I was only kidding... but I couldn’t help noticing that you didn’t run away in fear like those two.”

“I don’t see why they would,” said Scootaloo, smiling widely. “It’s just a kiss...” She looked around his room once again. “...annnnnd you really have moved up in the world.” She rubbed her left foreleg against her right foreleg as she grinned softly at Spike with bedroom eyes and a noticeable reddish hue on her cheeks.

“I’m guessing you’ve never seen me do this before.” Spike extended his tongue to a distance of four feet and wriggled it.

Scootaloo gasped and recoiled.

“AAAAAAH!!” she yelled as she scurried off to join her friends outside.

Spike snickered for a while, then sighed and slumped his shoulders. He had compromised his ethical dragon code for a chance to lock lips with his heart’s desire.

“Face it, Spike,” he said. “You are one pathetic little dragon.” He stood up straight and brimmed with confidence as a radiant purple light shone from behind him. “...but you’re a pathetic little dragon who’s gonna kiss Rarity!”

Spike turned around and pushed the purple theatrical backdrop back to where it belonged when it wasn’t being used.

“Now I see why Twilight uses this thing so often,” he said. “It’s kinda fun.”

---

Rainbow Dash flew down to the ground and landed beside Rarity who was seated beside a lamp post. She was looking at the ‘missing’ Pinkie Pie poster she had placed on it.

“Hey, Rare,” said Rainbow Dash. “How’s it coming along?”

“This was my last poster,” said Rarity.

“I finished putting up all of mine, too. Hey, were you bugged by Guilty Rich Movement ponies while you were putting up your posters?”

“Have I? Those uncouth ruffians accosted me six times today. Each time I convinced one group that I truly thought he should receive the maximum sentence, a new batch would come along and ask me the same question. I shudder to think what they would have done had I said that I thought he was innocent.”

“They should be helping us look for Pinkie Pie instead of forming stupid, angry mobs that won’t accomplish a hoofing thing.”

“The royal guards that Twilight said were coming from Canterlot will assist us in our search for Pinkie and they’ll maintain the peace. They’re supposed to arrive tomorrow morning but they cannot get here soon enough for my taste.”

“I sure hope Twilight can stay cool under all that pressure. The Guilty Richers are gonna picket in front of the Ponyville courthouse tomorrow for Filthy Rich’s bail hearing.”

“Did she tell you if she planned on denying him bail?”

“Are you kidding? Twilight’s the most by-the-book pony on the planet. It’s unethical for her to discuss the details of the case with anypony. It’s unethical for me to even ask.”

“She refused to tell you when you asked her, didn’t she?”

“Yep.”

The two friends stared at the photo of Pinkie on the poster.

“She really is quite beautiful, you know,” said Rarity. “Inside and out.”

“No argument here,” said Rainbow Dash. “I might be cool, fast, and brave... but when it comes down to what really counts, she leaves me in the dust; no contest. Don’t tell her I said so.”

“Even with all the sweets she wolfs down, I simply cannot imagine how she has the energy and enthusiasm to do all of the things she does for Ponyville. Planning all those parties... remembering all those birthdays... keeping everypony smiling... I’m certain that I could never keep up with it all the way she does.”

“Me neither.” Rainbow Dash began to chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” asked Rarity.

“Heh heh... I half expect Pinkie to reach out of the poster and give both of us a big hug.”

Rarity giggled.

“Did you know I was just thinking the very same thing?” she asked.

They chuckled for a while and then returned their attention to the poster.

“Hey, Rarity,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yes?” answered Rarity.

Rainbow Dash sniffled. Rarity looked at her and saw that Rainbow was in tears.

“I... I miss Pinkie so much,” whimpered Rainbow Dash.

“Oh, there, there, darling,” reassured Rarity. “We need to stay strong – for Pinkie’s sake.” She held Rainbow Dash gently and the pegasus buried her face in Rarity’s shoulder.

“I know,” said Rainbow Dash, “but I can’t help it. Ponyville hasn’t been the same without her... and neither have I. She can drive me crazy sometimes but right now, I’d give anything to have her back.”

Rarity grinned. She placed her forehooves on Rainbow’s shoulders and moved her back far enough to look at her face.

“Rainbow,” she said. “Do you know what we are?”

Rainbow Dash considered the question.

“Ponies?” she answered.

Rarity shook her head.

“We’re not ponies?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Blessed, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity paused as she let the weight of her word sink in. “We are blessed. We’re living in a wonderful time in a wonderful place where we’ve seen and done some wonderful things. When Twilight came to Ponyville and we defeated Nightmare Moon on the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, I felt the magic of friendship for the first time and it’s touched me in a way that I can’t even begin to describe. I know that you felt it, too. You and I, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Twilight, Spike – we’re a part of something special, something far greater than the sum of its parts.”

Rarity hugged Rainbow Dash gently.

“And when we learned how we all owed our cutie marks to your sonic rainboom, well... I find it difficult to accept that the events that united us were just a series of coincidences. I believe that our bond is the product of a greater power and that we were brought together for a higher purpose. With all of the wonderful blessings that the six of us have received, I sincerely doubt that it’s the will of this greater power that we lose Pinkie Pie here and now.” Rarity broke the hug. She placed her right forehoof on Rainbow Dash’s left shoulder and shook her affectionately. “...and I have faith that she’ll be brought back to us.”

Rainbow Dash blinked.

“I didn’t know you were a theist,” she observed, raising an eyebrow and tilting her head.

“With all of our good fortune, I’m surprised that you’re not,” said Rarity. “Aren’t you? That is, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nah, it’s cool. And no, I’m not. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Celestial.”

“Princess Celestia may be long-lived but she’d be the first to tell you that she didn’t create Tartarus or Elysium... nor does she take credit for the creation of the universe.”

“I could say something but... I think it’s better that I keep my mouth shut.”

Rarity grinned.

“Feel free to speak your mind, Rainbow Dash,” she said. “I won’t be offended; I promise.”

“Okay. I’ll admit that we’ve had a lot of things go our way... but if we were actually brought together by some greater power that hoofs out blessings, that would mean that it can be be held accountable for denying other ponies those blessings. Like, where was that greater power when the crystal ponies were enslaved by King Sombra? They could’ve used some of the divine intervention that we were given. And how could it allow something like the Windigoes to exist? A lot of ponies froze to death because of those monsters. Seems like a pretty extreme way to get a message of the benefits of tribal unity across when just coming straight out and telling them would have been more effective.”

Rainbow Dash stood on her hind legs and waved her forelegs about to convey paranormal or mystical powers at work.

“The way I see it,” she continued, “if there is some sort of hallowed all-supreme being radiating omnipotence that’s pulling everypony’s strings, even if the six of us have received a ton of blessings, lots of other ponies suffered and died needlessly.” Rainbow returned her forelegs to the ground. “That’s not fair... and if this being has the ability to understand the importance of friendship but doesn’t understand concepts as simple as fairness and mercy the way Princess Celestia does – or even worse: it understands them but still decides to bless only certain ponies – then it had darn well better be able to justify how and why it chooses favorites if it wants my loyalty.”

Rarity nodded slowly with a half grin.

“I must confess that I don’t have the answers you’re seeking, Rainbow,” she said, “but I can understand and respect why you feel the way you do. I suppose you just need to have faith that everything is going to work out in the end.”

“That’s just it, Rare. The fact that I need it... is precisely why I don’t have it. I can’t be satisfied with having blind faith that Pinkie’s still alive and well. I want proof; something that I can hold in my hoof.”

“Helloooooo!” shouted a voice. “Yoo hoooo!”

Rarity and Rainbow Dash turned to look at who had called out for them. It was Mrs. Cake. She was trotting toward them with a smile on her face.

“I’m so lucky to have run into you girls,” said Mrs. Cake. “Earlier today, I had put some strawberry rhubarb pies on my window sill to cool and when I returned, they were gone.”

Rainbow Dash blushed and dug at the ground with her hoof.

“Look, Mrs. C,” she said. “Rarity and I both apologized for taking a bite out of your Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness that one time... but that doesn’t mean we’re gonna eat every baked good that isn’t nailed down.”

“No, you misunderstand me, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake. “I don’t think you took the pies... but I have a pretty good idea who did. Take a look at what I found sitting on the window sill in place of the pies.” She opened her saddlebag. Rainbow Dash reached inside the saddlebag with her forehoof, removed its contents and placed them on the ground.

“A bunch of rubber balls and eye patches?” asked Rarity. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I,” noted Rainbow Dash. “This makes no sense.”

Rarity and Rainbow Dash’s gasped. They smiled and looked at one another.

“Pinkie Pie!” they said as they hugged Mrs. Cake and squealed.

“Thank you so much for bringing this to our attention, Mrs. Cake,” said Rarity.

“You’re welcome, hun,” said Mrs. Cake, smiling over having lifted their spirits. “Good luck in your search.” Rarity and Rainbow Dash waved goodbye to Mrs. Cake as she turned around and headed back to Sugarcube Corner.

“Well,” said Rarity. “We can conclude that Pinkie is alive and hungry... and has a bizarre understanding of the barter system... but doesn’t want to show herself because of that death knell Pinkie sense.”

“Then we need to find her and convince her that it’s not that big a deal so that she can come back home,” declared Rainbow Dash.

“I concur.”

The mares hoofbumped for good luck.

“Wow, is this great or what?” asked Rainbow Dash rhetorically. “I asked for solid proof that Pinkie was okay... and seconds later, I got it. It’s a... a...”

“A miracle?” suggested Rarity.

“Yeah! A mira-”

Rainbow Dash held her tongue and glared at Rarity. The unicorn grinned smugly as she hummed a tune and trotted away.

“If you’ll excuse me, I must return to my shop,” said Rarity. “But do be a dear and tell Twilight the good news, would you?”

“Sure. Later.”

Rainbow Dash gained some altitude before heading north to the courthouse. She hovered in the air for a moment and bit her lip.

“You’re not off the hook, you know,” said Rainbow Dash adamantly as she gazed upward. “Not by a long shot. But... if you really are up there, then...” She smiled warmly. “...thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Rainbow Dash,” said a voice from above her.

Rainbow Dash gasped. Her heart nearly stopped – until she recognized the voice. Her face quickly grew red as she boiled over with anger and embarrassment.

“Nnnnnrrrg... DERPYYYY!!!” screamed Rainbow Dash.

Hearing her name called out, the gray pegasus mare peered out from the cloud above Rainbow Dash and smiled down at her.

---

Silver Spoon’s private stagecoach pulled up in front of the Ponyville police station. The chauffeur stepped off the seat, walked beside the carriage, and opened the door for his charge. The gray earth pony filly held onto her glasses and hopped out.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to accompany you, Silver Spoon?” asked the chauffeur.

“I’m sure, Bentley,” replied Silver Spoon. “It’s a police station. If I’m not safe here, I doubt I’d be safe anywhere.” Bentley nodded.

Silver Spoon entered the police station and saw Mayor Mare down the hall having a conversation with a police officer. She approached them and the mayor excused herself when she noticed that her guest had arrived. The officer went on his way, leaving the ladies to their business.

“Hello, Silver Spoon,” said Mayor Mare.

“Hello, Miss Mayor,” said Silver Spoon. She stepped closer to the mayor and nuzzled her chest. “I’m so sorry about what happened to Miss Cheerilee.”

“Oh, thank you, dear,” she said, returning the nuzzle.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Physically, I'll recover. Emotionally, I don't know... but I’m holding it together the best that I can. I’ve got so much on my plate at the moment that I simply don’t have the time to break down in earnest.”

“I might just be a kid but if you ever need somepony to talk to, my door is always open.”

“That’s very sweet of you. I’ll keep your offer in mind.”

Silver Spoon broke the nuzzle, took a few steps back, and looked up at the mayor.

“So what did you want to see me about?” asked Silver Spoon.

“Some officers picked up a few stallions for public drunkenness the other night,” said the mayor. “It’s an offense which we usually let perpetrators sleep off but I happened to be here when they were brought in... and I had them detained a little longer. You wouldn’t recognize their faces... but I do.”

Silver Spoon’s stomach turned as she understood what Mayor Mare meant.

“Are they the stallions who...?”

The mayor nodded.

“The same,” she replied. “Ponyville is a small town. I called you here so that you could press charges against them.”

Silver Spoon looked away. Her molesters were in the same building as she was. They were a few signed pieces of paper away from a trial and – once they were found guilty – a surgical castration.

“I want to see them,” she declared. “I want to talk to them.”

Mayor Mare’s face showed concern over this request.

“You don’t have to do that in order to press charges,” she said.

“I know,” said Silver Spoon.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Silver Spoon sighed.

“When I’m a full grown mare,” she said, “the one thing I will, like, never miss about foalhood is being asked that question. Yes, I’m sure.”

“All right,” said Mayor Mare. “Just wait here. I’ll need some time to have the officers restrain them and have them gathered in a room for us.”

---

Silver Spoon pushed her glasses high up on her face as she waited for the police officer to open the heavy door in front of her. As it swung open, she walked through it along with Mayor Mare who was right by her side. The room was brightly lit and slightly chilly. Six police officers were positioned in various spots around the unfurnished room; one in each corner, one by the door, and one behind the prisoners.

The five stallions stood in the center of the room. Each stallion’s ankle was outfitted with a large iron safety weight cuffed to it. All but one of the stallions kept neutral expressions on their faces. The youngest of the bunch appeared to be wracked with worry but still faced forward as his friends were doing.

Silver Spoon frowned at the wretches that stood before her. Now that she could see them clearly, she almost wanted to take her glasses off to blur them. Their unshaven whiskers and ungroomed manes made her all the more grateful that there were stallions like The Doctor who were gentlecolts in both appearance and manners. She knew that she was safe with Mayor Mare and the police officers present but she trembled with fear all the same. She could hear her breath whistling through her nostrils and her heart was performing its best bongo drum solo in her chest.

“Do you guys know what I was trying to do when I came to you begging for your help?” she asked. “The pony I care about more than anypony in the world was being abused. If it wasn’t for Mayor Mare showing up when she did, that pony might have been seriously hurt or even killed. You could have come with me and saved my friend. You had a chance to become heroes. But instead, you...”

Silver Spoon’s voice cracked as it trailed off. She started to cry, remembering how helpless and frightened she felt during her assault. It nauseated her that there were stallions in this world who could do what these louts did to her and not apologize for it. They looked as though they really didn’t care how they had treated her. The thought of running out of the room came to mind but she didn’t arrange to have her assailants gathered here so that she could show them her cowardice.

“I didn’t have a second to waste at the time,” she whimpered, “but now I’ve got all day. So here!” She spun around and presented her backside to the stallions. “Go ahead. Touch me. Get a good feel.”

The stallions declined to take Silver Spoon up on her offer.

“GO ON!!” she screamed. “What’s wrong? Am I no good for a laugh now that I’m not half blind?” She stood up straight and paced back and forth in front of them, leering at them as she lectured them further. “Don’t any of you have mothers or sisters or daughters? How would it make you feel if some stallions ganged up on one of them and took advantage of their impaired vision or smaller size? What the Tartarus happened in your lives that brought you to where you’d grope a filly for fun? Did you do it because my parents have money? Was there any reason at all for doing what you did? No? Not even a bad one?”

The stallions didn’t answer any of her questions.

Silver Spoon allowed herself some time to calm down.

“You know what upsets me the most?” she asked. “Knowing that you planted a seed of hatred inside of me,” she continued. “I’m disgusted to know that that ugly, hollow emotion is inside of me. It eats at you and it’s hard to get rid of... but what’s worse is that it gets to where you actually want to hold onto it. When I look at you, I’m like so mad that I want to bite your faces off! But I know that that’s not what I really want to do. That’s what the hatred is telling me to do. A lot of ponies in Ponyville are going crazy with hatred right now. They’re crying out for the blood of one of the nicest stallions I’ve ever known... and I feel like I’m partly responsible for that.”

She paused and closed her eyes. She did some calculated breathing since her earlier attempt to calm down didn’t get her the results she wanted.

“Forgiveness... has got... to start... somewhere,” she stated. “And if it’s got to start with me, then so be it. You guys made me a victim once... but the hatred inside me is the only thing that’s keeping me a victim. Lay down; all of you.” The stallions looked at one another and complied with what seemed to them like a harmless order. “A filly once told me that hugs have the power to heal... and I believe it’s true. My hatred makes me want to see you suffer but I don’t want to give in to it because if I do, I’ll give in to it every time. So instead, I’ll do the opposite. My mercy makes me want to see you healed. I think that if I heal you... I might be able to heal myself at the same time.”

Silver Spoon approached the first stallion on the left and hugged his neck.

“I forgive you,” she said.

The police officers were about to step in and put a stop to this contact but Mayor Mare raised a foreleg and they halted. Nopony was in danger of being harmed.

When Silver Spoon had finished giving each of them a hug and an absolution, she stood in front of them again.

“Don’t waste the mercy I’ve shown you,” she said. “Become something better than what you are.” She looked back at the mayor. “Mayor Mare, thanks for calling me out here today but I won’t be pressing charges.” Upon hearing that, the youngest of the stallions was heard crying, presumably out of gratitude.

Mayor Mare nodded and approached the stallions.

“By the grace of this young mare, you’ll be released momentarily, gentlecolts,” said Mayor Mare. “But the superintendent will let me know if he has to lock any of you up again for any reason. My advice? Don’t let that happen.”

Mayor Mare and Silver Spoon left the room. The door slammed shut behind them and they walked to the exit together.

“I can’t believe what you did back there,” said Mayor Mare. “I don’t think there’s another filly or mare in all of Equestria who would have done what you just did for them.”

“I had to do it,” said Silver Spoon. “I’m not giving hatred any more power over me.”

“Do you feel better?”

Silver Spoon considered the question and she smiled brazenly.

“Yeah, I do,” she said. She switched from walking down the hall to bouncing down the hall. “I feel light and energetic; like I’m on fire. I can only hope that those guys can feel the same way some day.”

“Good idea.”

Silver Spoon’s left ear twitched. She stopped bouncing and started to walk normally. She looked to her left. She then looked at the mayor who was on her right.

“What’s a good idea, Miss Mayor?” she asked.

“Hm?” asked the mayor.

“Didn’t you just say ‘good idea’ just now?”

Mayor Mare shook her head.

“I didn’t say anything,” she declared.

Silver Spoon looked back at the officers she had passed. They were all stallions. The voice she heard sounded like it belonged to a filly and she could have sworn that it came from her left.

---

The five stallions, minus their safety weights, walked toward the edge of the Everfree Forest. The youngest of the group was still sniffling.

“We ain’t in police custody anymore, Zeke,” said one of the older stallions. “You can stop cryin’ like a Celestia damned baby now.”

“Don’t you guys get what that little girl did fer us?” asked Zeke. “We were rutted! She had us dead ta rights! She coulda pressed charges an’ we woulda been castrated! But she let us go.”

“So we lucked out. Give it a rest, already.”

“Ah’m ashamed o’ what ah did ta her. It was stupid. And ah’m grateful ta her fer what she did fer me. Ah’m gonna do what she said an’ make somethin’ better o’ myself with the freedom she gave me.”

“Like what? Become a ballerina?”

“Ah don’t know. Maybe ah’ll go back ta trade school or something. But what ah do know is that ah’m through getting drunk an’ doin’ stupid manure with y’all. Do whatever y’all want – ah’m outta here.”

Zeke ran toward town, leaving his associates behind.

“He’s seen the light!” said one of the stallions sarcastically. “Praise Celestia!”

“Who needs ‘im, anyway? Ruttin’ colt-cuddler.”

“Heh, didja see how that little girl went all drama llama on us and told us ta touch her plot? Shoot, if we were in the forest, ah’d’ve stuck more than hatred inside o’ her, ah tell you what.”

The stallions laughed.

“‘Ah can heal you with a hug’,” mimicked one of the others. “She shoulda hugged mah wang with her lips. That’d heal me up right quick.”

The stallions laughed again.

“Hey, check this out!”

The stallions converged on a sign that read FREE HARD CIDER with an arrow that pointed to a nearby cave. They approached the cave and found five loose bottles of high quality hard cider on the ground. One of the stallions picked up a bottle, cracked it open, and sniffed it.

“Is it booze?” asked another stallion.

“Well, it ain’t piss.” He took a swig from the bottle and licked his lips. “Oh, that’s some good manure, y’all.” The others picked up a bottle, opened it, and drank.

“Now don’t that beat all? Who do ya reckon left all this hooch lyin’ around?”

“Who the rut cares who put it here? It’s ours now.”

“Guys! Look!”

Torches set up around the walls of the cave illuminated the area. Set up within the cave was a long table full of brand new bottles of hard cider. The four stallions smiled, looked at one another, and then quickly trotted inside the cave to the cider table.

Suddenly, the ground underneath them collapsed.

The stallions, along with the table of cider, fell about twenty feet into a pit that had been concealed by a false floor. All of the bottles shattered, spilling alcohol everywhere. The stallions moaned and bellowed out in pain. They had been badly injured by the fall as well as the broken glass. One of the stallions looked up and saw something at the top of the pit. A pink-coated filly wearing a cloak and holding a lit torch in her mouth stood on the edge and looked down at the mess below.

“Hey, kid,” groaned the stallion. “Go call some grownups. Our legs are broken. We need help... and fast.”

“Hello, gentlecolts,” said the cloaked filly through her clenched teeth. “I have some good news... and I have some bad news.”

“Rut your news, ya little bitch!” yelled one of the other injured stallions. “We’re gonna ruttin’ bleed ta death if ya don’t get us help right now!”

“We play by my rules or we don’t play at all. Do you understand?”

“Okay, okay... ow. We’ll play with ya.”

“And I wouldn’t dream of letting you bleed to death so don’t worry about that.”

“Thanks. What’s the good news?”

“The good news is that drinks are on the house.”

“Well, that’s really cute. And what’s the bad news?”

“The bad news... is that the roof...” The filly scowled at the stallion. “...is on fire.”

The filly opened her mouth all the way, allowing her torch to fall into the highly flammable pit.

---

“Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna,” announced a Canterlot royal guard.

Princess Luna stepped forward and walked toward her sister’s throne. Another day had come to an end and it was nearly time for Luna to raise the moon.

“Greetings, sister,” said Luna.

“Greetings, Luna,” said Celestia. “Guards, leave us be for a while. I’d like some privacy.” The guards nodded and departed the throneroom, closing the door behind them. “Luna, have you by any chance visited the dreams of a earth pony filly named Silver Spoon recently?”

“Why, yes. I met her just last night.”

“As in for the first time?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“I was informed by Princess Twilight yesterday afternoon that Silver Spoon was inquiring about ambrosia blossoms, of all things.”

“But how could that be?”

“That is what I’d like to know. Twilight said that Silver Spoon had heard about them in a dream. And as dreams are more your province than mine, I thought that you might be able to shed a little light on this mystery.”

“Well, I certainly never told her about the ambrosia blossoms.”

“No, you couldn’t have if you had never spoken to her before last night.”

“Not to mention that I don’t want to share the blossoms any more than you do.”

Celestia nodded.

“Our subjects get by on the crops that its farmers grow,” she said, turning her nose up. “Starvation has not touched our land for millenia so what’s one less edible species of flower for the general public?”

“Precisely.” Luna turned her nose up.

“Assuming that they can even grow in Equestrian soil, introducing ambrosia blossoms would have a tremendous economic and societal impact that would upset the status quo – and I like the status quo.”

Luna abandoned her haughtiness and brought her nose back down.

“You never did tell me if you believed the zebras,” she said.

Celestia brought her nose back down.

“I gave them the benefit of the doubt,” she said. “It was the diplomatic thing to do. A non-zebra filly living alone in the Everfree Forest is implausible enough... but to claim that the lone blossom we gave them for researching its alchemical properties was stolen by her? And that she flew without wings? It’s a bit much to swallow... but since they never questioned why we never brought them a second blossom, I’m fairly certain that they knew what I thought of their excuse.”

“Have you ever asked Zecora about it?”

“It happened generations before she was born. I don’t see the need to dig up the past. At any rate, if you hadn’t met Silver Spoon before last night, then there’s no need to discuss the matter any further. It was a simple case of a foal’s imaginative young mind striking upon their name by chance.”

Luna licked her lips.

“It has been a while since we’ve had some blossoms,” she noted. “And they must be in full bloom again by now.” She gave her sister a toothy, wistful smile.

“That’s true,” stated Celestia. “But I think I’ll invite Twilight to come with us on our next trip to the fields.”

Luna rolled her eyes.

“Wonderful,” she groaned. “My half just became a third – again.”

Celestia smirked.

“I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that Cadance is unable to join us for any future blossom runs due to... marital obligations,” she said, grinning and rolling her eyes.

Luna smirked.

“Heh, the poor dear would have to tell her husband where she was going first,” she said.

Luna and Celestia made horsewhip sound effects with their mouths and laughed.

A dancing green mist entered the castle and approached Celestia. The ashes within them immediately reintegrated and presented itself before the princess as a fresh letter.

“Ah!” squeaked Celestia as she closed her eyes and cowered. She opened her eyes, shook her head, and looked at her sister. “I’ll let you in on a little secret, Luna.” She sat up straight and telekinetically removed the letter’s seal. “Every so often, these magical letters I receive from Spike outright startle the manure out of me when they materialize.” As she opened the letter and began to read it, Luna came closer and peered over her sister’s shoulder. Celestia pulled the letter away and folded it in half. She glared at Luna, apparently offended by this invasion of privacy.

Luna turned away and pouted, wounded by her sister’s rejection.

Celestia grinned.

“I’m only kidding,” she said. She threw a foreleg over Luna’s far shoulder, drew her close, and cheek nuzzled her. Luna grinned, returning the nuzzle. Celestia reopened the letter and read it alongside her sister.

As they finished reading the letter, the alicorns looked at one another and smiled.

“Luna, it would seem that we have some crabgrass growing in our tulip garden,” said Celestia. “Would you like to help me mulch?”

“I’d be delighted, Tia,” replied Luna. “I’ve been meaning to pay this Diamond Tiara a visit. What a stroke of luck that she should visit us here instead.”

“Could you please send the guards back in for me? And please send Raven in as well.”

Luna nodded and fetched the ponies her sister requested.

“You wanted to see me, Your Highness?” asked Raven, Celestia’s loyal attaché.

“Yes, Raven,” said Celestia. “I want all of my appointments canceled for tomorrow. Tell everypony that they’ll need to reschedule for some other day.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” Raven ran off to carry out Celestia’s orders.

“Lieutenant,” said Celestia.

“Yes, Your Highness,” said the lieutenant.

“I want you to bring some ponies before me tomorrow afternoon. Use two separate chariots when you fetch them.” Celestia levitated a quill and quickly jotted down a few words on a piece of parchment. “Here are their names.”

The guard looked at the paper.

“Understood, Your Highness,” said the lieutenant.

“Also, in the royal storage unit you’ll find a black wooden chest,” said Celestia. She picked up a fresh piece of parchment and began writing quickly. “It’s the only one of its kind; you can’t miss it. I’d like that chest brought to the throne room tomorrow afternoon before my second guest arrives.” The lieutenant nodded.

Luna gasped.

“Sister, I know the box of which you speak,” she said. “Don’t tell me you mean to-”

“I do,” said Celestia.

Luna grimaced.

“But do you really think Diamond Tiara deserves – that?” she asked. “It’s a bit much.”

Celestia said nothing. She simply grinned and kept her eyes glued to the reply she was writing.

Luna shook her head disapprovingly as she departed the castle through the east window to raise the moon.

---

Diamond Tiara’s dress sparkled in the light of the noonday sun as she paced back and forth in front of her stoop. She was anxiously awaiting the arrival of her family stagecoach which would be carrying her father through the mansion’s security gates at any moment. When the news broke earlier this morning that Princess Twilight Sparkle had granted her father bail, she decided that she would greet him in a stunning ensemble to celebrate his return.

Her dress was a festive cherry red with big puffy shoulders, sequins aplenty, and a wide neckline to show off the diamond choker around her neck. Her foreshoes had a red glitter coating and a fabric rose on the front. Last but not least, her ever-present tiara adorned her head.

The security gates swung open and giddiness swelled inside Diamond Tiara as she saw the stagecoach coming up the mansion’s cul-de-sac and stopped at the walkway to the entrance. The chauffeur hopped down from the stagecoach and opened the carriage door. The still-harnessed Diamond Tiara was itching to jump up and down but she settled for a few foreleg hops. At long last, her father stepped out of the carriage and he smiled widely when he saw her.

“Daddy!” squealed Diamond Tiara as she ran to her father.

“Heyyyyy!” beamed Filthy Rich. “Who let this little beauty queen onto my property?” He reached out and hugged his daughter tightly, lifting and holding her in his forelegs as he stood on his hind legs. Tears of joy ran down Diamond Tiara’s cheeks.

“Welcome back, Daddy,” she sobbed. “I’m so happy to have you back home where you belong.”

“I’m happy to be back,” replied Filthy Rich. He kissed Diamond Tiara on the forehead. “I wish I was back for good but this is the best that I can do for now.”

There was a commotion heard from the security gates. Filthy Rich set Diamond Tiara back on her hooves and wheels and they observed the ruckus from a distance.

“What’s going on over there?” asked Diamond Tiara, raising an eyebrow.

“Just some protesters standing out front who are less than happy about my bail,” said Filthy Rich. “But don’t worry. There are ten royal guards out there patrolling the perimeter of the mansion and ten more guarding the airspace above it. The only ponies getting in here are the ones who belong here... but let’s go inside where we can talk in private.”

As they walked to the front door, Diamond Tiara turned and blew a raspberry in the direction of the protesters, riling them up further.

---

The servants of the household greeted Filthy Rich with a bow as he and Diamond Tiara walked to the living room. When they reached their destination, Filthy Rich took a seat on the sofa.

“Come sit next to me, sweetheart,” he said.

“Sure, Dad,” said Diamond Tiara. She climbed onto the couch and lay her lower body on its side so as not to soil the sofa with the harness wheels.

“There’s an old expression: money doesn’t grow on trees. I was lucky to have been granted bail in the first place but I was even luckier that I could afford to pay it. Five billion bits isn’t pocket change but it was worth parting with so that I could be with my precious princess again.” The sentiment made Diamond Tiara smile. “I had to liquidate a number of assets in order to post the bail and still keep my Barnyard Bargains locations operational. One of those assets was the Ponyville Express. I was offered a large sum of money for it and I would have been a fool not to sell it. However, now that it’s no longer mine, the reporters can once again feature news stories about us. With that restriction lifted, they’ll sell more papers now than when I owned it.”

“Who cares what they write about us? We know the truth and that’s all that matters.”

“There’s another old expression: you have to spend money in order to make money. Sometimes I give some of it away to ponies who need it more than we do.”

“WHAT? What did the broke deadbeat ponies of Equestria do to deserve the money that you work so hard to earn?”

“Charities do a lot of important work for ponies less fortunate than ourselves. They rely on donations from those who can afford to have less – like us. Doing things to improve our image in the eyes of the public is very important to the success of Barnyard Bargains.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I see. Giving away a little money to charity makes Barnyard Bargains a more attractive place for ponies to shop which gets us a lot of money. You’re sooooo smart, Daddy.”

“Thank you, darling. What I’m getting at is that our recent run-ins with the law have attracted a lot of negative attention. Ponies aren’t too thrilled about what happened. In light of what we’ve done, do you think that customers are going to want to shop at Barnyard Bargains more – or less?”

“Less... but what happened to Twist and Miss Cheerilee has nothing to do with the quality of your merchandise. I guess they’re not smart enough to make that distinction but you only need their money, not their approval.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart.”

Diamond Tiara flinched.

“How?”

“I still have competition. Ponies can buy the things they need somewhere other than Barnyard Bargains. Now that the public is upset at me over what I’ve done, they’ll take their business elsewhere. In order to minimize the damage to my store’s reputation, it’s essential that the public knows that you and I are contrite. We didn’t plan the unfortunate incidents that have happened and we need to show them that we have some respect for the deceased. To do that, I believe that we have to make some small sacrifices; starting with an easy one... from you.”

“Me? What do you want me to sacrifice?”

Rich’s eyes shot up toward his daughter’s tiara and then back to her eyes.

“You want my...?” started Diamond Tiara with a look of shock that quickly gave way to a bout of laughter. “Pfft! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, Daddy. You had me going for a minute there! I thought you were being serious! Ha ha ha ha... ahhhh.”

The absence of Filthy Rich’s laughter indicated to Diamond Tiara that he was quite serious.

“Dad, come on," she said, balking at the idea. "I can’t give this up. It’s my namesake.”

“You were given your name before you won that. You’ll still have that name after you give it to me. The tiara will be kept in our safe until it’s appropriate to be seen wearing something luxurious.”

“But Daaaaaaaad, I can’t be seen without this on! Everypony will laugh at me!”

”I’m sorry, Diamond Tiara, but this is for the best.”

“How is being laughed at for the best? Couldn’t you just ground me instead? Nopony else would have to know about that.”

“Neither would anypony on the street. This isn’t to punish you. This is to save you.” Filthy Rich held out his hoof. “Now be a good girl and hoof me your tiara.”

Diamond Tiara began to worry. Ordinarily, her father would have given in to her protests by now.

“Y-You don’t understand what my tiara means to me!” she stated. “It defines me!”

“I understand better than you think I do. Now please hoof it over.”

Diamond Tiara pouted and her eyes grew glossy with tears.

“But it’s mine!” she whined.

“It’s still yours, darling. We’re just going to put it away for a while. Don’t you understand?”

Diamond Tiara climbed off the sofa and looked her father in the eye. If pleading and bargaining wasn’t working, she was simply going to stand her ground.

“Here’s what I understand, Daddy,” she said. “Everything else that I have was bought for me by you...” She pointed to her tiara with her right forehoof. “...except for this. This is the only thing I’ve earned all by myself. It’s symbolic!” Filthy Rich rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “You’re my dad and I love you but you’re gonna have to think of something else for me to sacrifice because I am not giving this to you or anypony.”

Filthy Rich sighed.

“Fine,” he said. “You don’t have to give me your tiara. You can do something else for me instead.”

Diamond Tiara closed her eyes and grinned.

“Good,” she said. “So what can I do for you instead?”

Filthy Rich leaned to his right and reached for the fireplace poker beside the sofa. He stood up and casually slid the poker through both of Diamond Tiara’s wheel spokes in one swift motion.

“You can stand still while I take it off your head,” he said.

Diamond Tiara gasped. She had been tricked – and immobilized.

While Diamond Tiara was still reeling in shock from his treachery, Filthy Rich reached down, bit the tiara, and removed it from her head. Diamond Tiara quickly reached up, bit down on the other end of the tiara, and held on for dear life. Filthy Rich had a massive leverage and strength advantage over his daughter and, as he slowly lifted his head, the tiara began to straighten.

“Stooooop!” cried Diamond Tiara through clenched teeth. “You’re going to break it!”

“It won’t break if you just let go,” noted Filthy Rich.

“You let go!” she bawled.

As he continued to slowly lift his head, Diamond Tiara’s forelegs were lifted off the ground. Diamond Tiara did not want to warp or break her tiara but she refused to relinquish her hold on it. It was structurally incapable of supporting a filly’s weight and permanent damage was imminent. There was nothing she could do to stop her father – physically.

Desperate to save her precious accessory, she did the first thing she could think of to put an end to this struggle.

“R... RAAAPE!” she screamed. “HELLLP! RAAAAAPE!”

Filthy Rich released the tiara and his daughter’s forelegs dropped back onto the carpet. The tiara was back in the possession of its rightful owner – but at a cost greater than she should have been willing to pay. Diamond Tiara felt sick to her stomach almost immediately after her stunt. Her eyes darted about, not fixing on any one thing for more than a split second. She wasn’t actively searching for anything other than an explanation she could offer to her father as to what could have possessed her to have employed such an underhooved tactic. Her lips moved as if she was about to say something but nothing came out. She hung her head and made sure to avoid eye contact with him. She could only imagine the anger and disappointment present in his face.

Randolph came running into the room, skidding to a halt a yard away from Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich.

“Are you all right, Mistress?” asked Randolph. The serious look on his face suggested that he believed Diamond Tiara’s cry for help was legitimate. Hanging her tiara on the neckline of her dress, Diamond Tiara turned around and looked at the elderly servant.

“Y-Yeah, I was just testing your response time, Randolph,” she said, smiling blankly. “You’re slowing down in your old age. It might be time for you to invest in some roller skates.”

The butler looked at Filthy Rich and then looked back at Diamond Tiara.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” asked Randolph.

“Of course I’m sure!” growled Diamond Tiara. “Do you really think that my own father would try to rape me? Now get out of here and go... polish something; I dunno.”

Three of the mansion’s maids ran into the room. Randolph waved them off and they halted.

“It’s all right,” said Randolph softly. “She was only kidding.”

“Are you sure?” asked one of the maids.

“Let’s go,” he said. The maids looked back at Filthy Rich suspiciously as they reluctantly left their employer.

Diamond Tiara watched as the servants left the room to return to their duties. As the uncomfortable feeling of guilt burned in her gut, she hung her head once more and her ears drooped.

“Oh, Daddy,” said Diamond Tiara in a hushed tone. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, honestly. I... I don’t know what came over me. I just...”

Her ears perked up as she heard a door slam shut. She lifted her head and looked back at her father to find that he had quickly stepped into the guest bedroom and closed the door. Diamond Tiara attempted to run to the guest bedroom but her wheels dragged due to the poker in her spokes. She reached back, removed the poker, and ran to the door. She placed her ear against it and heard her father sniffling and sobbing. Grimacing, she tried to open the door. It was locked. She knocked on it with great urgency.

“Daddy? Daddy, please open the door,” she requested. “Daddy, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. Please let me in so I can apologize. I never meant to say something so mean and stupid. I love you so much.” She removed her tiara from her dress, held it in her right forehoof and tapped it against the door. “Here, you can have my tiara. Daddy? Come on, please open the door.”

The door did not open. The longer her father ignored her request, the more frantically she knocked and begged.

“Daddy!” she yelled. “Please take my tiara! Please let me in! I love you! I’m sorry I hurt you! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!”

She thought about how these might be her father’s last few days as a free stallion and how she’d remember costing herself a moment with him due to this nonsense when he was banished or executed. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as her desperation grew. She struck the door so violently that chips of paint flew off of it and landed in her mane.

“I’LL ACCEPT ANY PUNISHMENT YOU WANT TO GIVE ME!” she declared. “SEND ME TO BED WITHOUT SUPPER! SPANK ME! BEAT ME UP IF YOU WANT BUT PLEASE OPEN THE DO-HO-HOOR!!” Her mouth hung open in grief as her pleas fell on deaf ears. She inhaled deeply to power her next words. “I’M SORRYYYYYY!!” She pounded on the door again. “DADDEEEEEE-HEE-HEEEEEE!!”

Enraged, Diamond Tiara tossed her tiara onto the carpet and ran to the back of the house, bawling all the way. She made her way to the backyard where her mother’s old peach tree still stood. Diamond Tiara called it her effigy tree. Whenever she grew frustrated, she’d buck the tree until she couldn’t feel her hind legs. Her harness didn’t allow her to use her hind legs so she struck the tree repeatedly with her right forehoof, grunting with each blow. Pieces of chipped bark landed in her mane and on her dress.

She set her right foreleg back on the ground and caught her breath. She sniffled as grief over her actions brought her to tears once again. She reared her head back and butted the tree with her forehead. The collision didn’t feel very nice and she decided not to do it again. She leaned her head against the tree and cried as softly as she could.

She had pushed away Silver Spoon when she was only trying to help.

She had foolishly estranged herself from her father who was going to pay for a crime he never would have committed had she not been so terrible to her teacher.

The filly who could have anything she wanted now had none of the things she needed.

“Are you Diamond Tiara?” asked somepony to her left. She turned and saw a pair of royal pegasus guards standing before her.

Diamond Tiara sniffled and wiped her nose and eyes with her foreleg. She scowled at the guards as she marched over to them.

“You’re trespassing on private property!” shouted Diamond Tiara. “Get the rut out of here or I’ll have you arrested!”

“We’re here on royal business, Miss Tiara,” said the second guard. “Your presence has been requested by Her Majesty, Princess Celestia. We have orders to escort you to Canterlot Castle immediately.”

Diamond Tiara was stunned.

“Seriously?” she asked. “What would Princess Celestia want with me?”

“We don’t ask questions, miss,” said the first guard. “We follow orders.”

Diamond Tiara looked back at the mansion. Her father had already made it clear that he was in no mood to speak to her. Whatever Princess Celestia had in store for her in Canterlot couldn’t be worse than staying home.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll go with you.” She followed the pegasi to their chariot and climbed aboard it. “Just have me back here in time for dinner, okay? I’m in enough trouble as it is without having to break curfew.”

“That is entirely up to the princess,” said one of the pegasi guards as he hooked himself up to the chariot’s tack.

Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow.

“What; is she going to throw me in a dungeon or something?” she asked with a smirk.

The guards took flight with the chariot in tow.

“That is also entirely up to the princess,” replied the same pegasus.

Diamond Tiara didn’t like that answer the second time around any more than she did the first.

---

She’s so tall, thought Diamond Tiara as she saw Princess Celestia stand at her full stately height and walk down the steps from her dais to the floor of the throne room.

Diamond Tiara had told herself that she would play it cool during her meeting with the princess but their difference in height had intimidated her almost immediately and she found herself trembling as she maintained her bow before Celestia. She looked to her right and saw Princess Luna, a rare pony to spot in the middle of the day. The moon princess wasn’t as tall as her elder sister but as this was the pony who was once the legendary Nightmare Moon, she brought a different kind of intimidation to the table. Still, if it turned out that she needed to use the ace up her sleeve, having Princess Luna present actually worked in her favor.

“Miss Diamond Tiara, Your Highnesses,” announced the lieutenant.

Diamond Tiara stood up after her name was called out, as was the protocol in Canterlot Castle.

“Thank you,” said Celestia. “Here are your new orders, lieutenant. I want the castle evacuated immediately; guards, servants, everypony. I want nopony else within these walls save for those in this room – and I want this evacuation executed with the urgency of a fire alarm. Your soldiers may patrol the grounds in the meantime. Furthermore, nopony is to re-enter the castle until you hear me personally call out to you from that window.” She pointed to an open window on the east wall of the throne room. “Should you happen to hear any other sounds coming from the throne room, such as screaming or crying, you are to ignore them.”

Screaming or crying? wondered Diamond Tiara.

“Do I make myself clear, lieutentant?” asked Celestia.

“Yes, Your Highness,” replied the lieutenant. “The evacuation will take approximately five minutes to carry out.”

“That’s perfect,” said Celestia.

“We’ll sound a horn from the drawbridge when the castle has been successfully evacuated.”

“Very well, lieutenant. You may proceed.”

The guards left the throne room hurriedly to carry out their orders in a timely manner.

“I appreciate your patience, Diamond Tiara,” said Celestia. “We’ll start our conversation when the horn is blown.”

“Oh,” said Diamond Tiara. “Okay, Your Highness.”

Celestia returned to her throne and sat. Luna flew to the dais and sat beside her sister. She yawned and examined her hoof.

“Take a look at this,” said Celestia. She levitated a magazine from behind her throne’s seat cushion. It was the all-princess issue of SubPlot. Luna levitated the magazine, brought it to her face, and leafed through it briefly. Her face told the tale of a mare repulsed by what she saw.

“Where on earth did you get this?” she asked.

“From somepony in town,” replied Celestia.

“Why do you still have it?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it’s because I find it amusing.”

“Hm.”

“Do you not find it amusing?”

“Not especially. I’d rather be respected than drooled over.”

“I’m okay with both.”

“Let’s see how okay you are with both when some stallion runs up and tries something fresh with you.”

“Has a stallion ever done that to you before?”

“No... but I imagine that it’s likelier to happen now that obscene images of some ponies posing as us have been published.”

“That’s a load of bananas, Luna. No photograph has the power to make a stallion commit a crime that he wouldn’t normally be inclined to commit; not even a photograph of mares resembling us.”

“I disagree... and that load of bananas happens to be my opinion, dear sister.”

“On what do you base that opinion? Paranoia? Jealousy?” She smirked. “Wishful thinking?”

Luna rolled her eyes.

“You are the living end, Celestia,” she declared.

“Sex crimes are extremely rare now,” stated Celestia, “but from what I recall, not one stallion has ever blamed his loss of self-control on art.”

“Art? You call this art?”

“Did I call photography art? Whatever was I thinking?”

“There’s respectable photography – which is art – and then there’s this garbage... which isn’t.”

“So is art only art as long as it pleases you?”

“Taking photographs of mares in shameful positions meant to stimulate stallions hardly takes talent. An artistic endeavor must meet some minimum standard of talent if I am to embrace it as art.”

“You have even less objectivity than Twilight. She was so offended by this that she’s considering taking the publisher down.”

“I applaud her standpoint. A pity that parody is protected by law.”

“I reminded her of that fact but I fear that she means to employ illegal means, if necessary.”

“And what does art mean to you, sister? How would you define it?”

It was a surreal experience for Diamond Tiara to be present during this conversation between the royal sisters. They sounded no different than any other pair of adults she had heard talking about trivial matters.

The horn that Princess Celestia had been waiting to hear sounded from the drawbridge.

“Ah,” said Celestia. “We may now begin our business. May I ask what happened to your...?” She pointed to the top of her own head.

“Long story,” replied Diamond Tiara, hoping that her servants back at the mansion knew enough to pick her tiara up off the floor and put it somewhere safe.

Celestia nodded, accepting the answer.

“Diamond Tiara, do you know why I have summoned you here today?” she asked.

“I have some theories, Your Highness,” replied Diamond Tiara, “but nothing concrete. I was under the impression that you didn’t even know that I existed.”

“You’re quite mistaken. I have been watching you for some time, my little pony. Shall I tell you what I saw?”

“By all means.”

“I have witnessed you causing your peers hardships. In the time that I’ve spent watching you, I’ve seen you do little else. You have been arrogant, vain, boastful, envious, cruel, disrespectful, manipulative, spiteful, vengeful, obnoxious, and an overall despicable child.”

Diamond Tiara flinched. Her impeccable grades in language arts had granted her a formidable vocabulary and she knew the meaning of each word that Princess Celestia threw her way.

“You take genuine pleasure in watching your victims squirm,” continued Celestia. “I’ve yet to witness you exhibit any notable virtuous behavior toward anypony else with the possible exception of Silver Spoon and your father. Your involvement in the accident that caused the death of your classmate Twist has been well documented. And you even provoked your teacher, a mare whose very calling was the nurturing and education of children, into taking leave of her senses and beating you in front of your fellow students. Granted, that was her shortcoming rather than yours... but you are certainly remarkable in your recalcitrance. I have concluded that you are by far the naughtiest filly I have ever known... and, given my long lifespan, that is quite an extraordinary feat. Have you anything to say for yourself?”

A grin formed on Diamond Tiara’s face and she giggled.

“O-kay,” said Diamond Tiara, brimming with confidence. “I get what’s going on.”

“You do?” asked Celestia.

“I do. The royal treasury is in need of a little cash injection and rather than swallow your pride and ask for a loan, you brought me here to slap a bunch of fines on me. You didn’t have to go through all of this just to borrow some money, Your Highness. I’d be happy to resolve your financial woes... and at a very reasonable interest rate, too.”

“I’m not sure why you would think such a thing,” said Celestia. “The royal treasury is in excellent shape.”

“It would have to be,” muttered Luna, “considering I’m being paid next to nothing.”

“And you aren’t being fined,” said Celestia. “You’re being evaluated.”

A drop of sweat ran down Diamond Tiara’s temple.

“Evaluating me, huh?” she asked. “Oh. Okay. Uhhhh... You know what? My daddy just got out on bail today. He should really be present for this evaluation. Say! Why don’t we go pay him a visit at my house right now so the four of us can talk about this over lunch? Our butler Randolph makes the most delicious triple decker cheddar melts on grilled sourdough that you’ve ever had. They’re loaded with diced tomatoes and jalapenos... and he even makes a tangy spinach and artichoke dip for it on the side.”

Luna caught herself smacking her lips.

“Does he work nights, by any chance?” she asked.

“Luna,” said Celestia.

“Sorry,” said Luna.

Celestia returned her attention to Diamond Tiara.

“Are you saying that I should hold your father responsible for your behavior?” she asked. “He already has some serious charges to answer for. I suppose he could be charged with negligence but there’s not much more that can be done to punish him for it that the sentences for his current crimes won’t make insignificant.”

“He’s not a negligent parent,” stated Diamond Tiara. She cast her eyes downward. “He just has... a very... willful daughter.”

“Then we’re back to where we started. You have made many decisions that have hurt the feelings of other ponies. You acted gleefully and deliberately and you were fully aware of the pain and misery you were causing. Do you deny this?”

Diamond Tiara saw no point in denying anything if Celestia had seen what she had done.

“No, Your Highness,” she said.

“And do you accept full responsibility for your actions?” asked Celestia.

Diamond Tiara knew that if she said yes, there would be no taking it back.

“Partial responsibility, Your Highness,” she said.

“Partial?” asked Celestia. “Who else do you feel was responsible for your actions?”

If diplomacy – specifically, buying her way out of this – was not an option, Diamond Tiara would buy as much time as she could by using the greatest weapon at her disposal: her mind.

“You, Your Highness,” answered Diamond Tiara.

“Such insolence,” muttered Luna under her breath.

“Elaborate,” said Celestia to Diamond Tiara.

“You alicorns prance around with your wings and your horns and your crowns, ruling the rest of us little ponies like you own the place,” said Diamond Tiara. “I didn’t vote for you... but then, nopony did. You have a stranglehold on the highest position of authority in Equestria, not giving a hoof if somepony else can do a better job.”

“Impertinent child!” barked Luna. “Have you no respect for the crown? The freedom and privileges you enjoy are due to my sister’s tireless efforts. Do you believe that you could do a better job?”

“Luna, please,” said Celestia. “Let the filly speak.”

“I might be able to do a better job,” surmised Diamond Tiara, “but I guess we’ll never know since you’re a monarch and you only give so much power to the ponies under you. Did you honestly expect that nopony would ever envy your power? That they wouldn’t lust after what you have? That they’ll tolerate your tyrannical rule indefinitely?”

“Still thine treasonous tongue lest we still it for thee!” barked Luna, frowning at the filly.

“Princess Luna!” shouted Celestia. Luna’s ears drooped. “All of our subjects have the right to free speech... and that right will be indulged this time and every time... and without threatening children with violence.” Luna turned her head and pouted angrily. “And what’s with slipping into the Olden tongue? I thought you didn’t use that anymore.”

“I... still find myself using it on occasion... mostly when I command.”

“I don’t know exactly what you’re planning on doing to me,” said Diamond Tiara, “but if it’s as bad as I think it’s gonna be, this might be my last chance to say what I really feel. I think you’re a tyrant.” Luna bit her lip at the insult. “Only a tyrant would send her own sister to the moon for a thousand years over a difference of opinion.”

“It was a bit more complicated than that, child,” said Luna.

“Was it?” asked Diamond Tiara rhetorically with a sinister grin. She looked at Princess Celestia. “Was it also complicated to keep copies of The Mare In The Moon stocked in every public library across Equestria?”

Celestia and Luna looked at one another.

“Oh, didn’t you know, Princess Luna?” asked Diamond Tiara with smugness in her tone. “There’s a copy of The Mare In The Moon in every public library in Equestria.”

“I... must confess that I was unaware of that,” said Luna. “Public libraries are closed during my night and I visit the royal library when I have need of a book.”

“I think your sister knew.”

“Is this true, Celestia?” asked Luna. "Do you know about this?"

“If if is true, it’s news to me,” said Celestia.

“It is true,” said Diamond Tiara. “But it gets better. I did some more research and learned that any unreturned or lost copies of The Mare In The Moon were replaced within twenty four hours of the previous copy’s reported disappearance. Twenty four hours! Do you know how many other books get replaced with that kind of speed?”

“None?” guessed Luna.

“None,” declared Diamond Tiara. “The trail ends after a while. I can’t find any written record of a decree from anypony declaring that missing copies of The Mare In The Moon need to be replaced within twenty four hours... so I had to draw my own conclusions as to the identity of the legislative branch that made this library policy. Why would there be such an urgent need for that particular book to be on the shelves when said book details what Princess Celestia has gone on record as saying was ‘the most regrettable decision I’ve ever been forced to make’?” She looked at Celestia. “If it was as regrettable as you said, Your Highness, why haven’t you had every copy of The Mare In The Moon confiscated and burned? The truth can be erased over time... but it doesn’t look like you’ve even tried to cover it up. The opposite looks true. It looks like you’ve gone out of your way to keep the story circulating. Why is that?”

Luna waited for her sister’s answer.

Celestia hesitated.

“Assuming that what you claim is true, there is a very good lesson to be learned from The Mare In The Moon,” she said.

“Hm... I can see that,” said Diamond Tiara. “But why couldn’t the principals of the story have been changed? The Mare In The Moon could just as easily have been rewritten to feature two bunny rabbits and the story would still have retained its lesson. See, I know why the details of this embarrassing family affair have gone unchanged and why it’s remained in print for as long as it has. It’s because that story sends a message that behooves a tyrant: better not cross Celestia. She’s so hardcore that she banished her own family member on a hunk of rock out in space for a thousand years. Did you even know ahead of time that the stars would aid in her escape?”

“Her return was...” Celestia averted her eyes. “...prophesied... but, no, I didn’t know that the moon would only hold her for a limited period of time.”

“So as far as you knew, you were banishing her to the moon indefinitely.” Diamond Tiara smirked and flexed her brow. “Well, I can’t say that I blame you for wanting to keep that message alive. If I were in your horseshoes and I did that, I’d never stop talking about it.” She walked to the perimeter of the dais to circle Celestia but the alicorn levitated her and set her back down in front of the throne.

“Please don’t walk in circles around me,” said Celestia. “I’ve seen you do that before and it’s very irritating... not to mention rude.”

“Heh, old habit,” said Diamond Tiara. “My bad. The Mare In The Moon serves your needs on two fronts. It reinforces your reputation as a powerful monarch who won’t take manure from anypony while simultaneously portraying you as a sympathetic character who banished her only beloved sister to save her loyal subjects from eternal night – making it harder for ponies to hate you and a revolution less likely.”

Diamond Tiara sat down and pretended to wipe away a crocodile tear.

“Time for a pop quiz,” she continued. “Discouraging a revolution by scaring the manure out of your subjects works fine for the generation of ponies who were alive when the banishing took place... but what about later generations? How do you keep their sons and daughters and grandsons and granddaughters from rising up against the monarchy? Answer: Make the greatest punishment you’ve ever delivered common knowledge by keeping reports of it in stock and use taxpayer money to fund the distribution of the hard copies.”

Diamond Tiara applauded by stomping on the floor with her forehooves.

“Brava, Your Highness,” she said. “You’ve created the perfect self-sustaining propaganda machine. You showed me firsthoof what could be accomplished with enough guts, power, and vision... and damned if I didn’t admire your strategy. Once I figured this out, I wanted to be a princess more than anything. But I’m no alicorn – so I strove to excel in other areas. I've increased my mental sharpness by acing every subject in school. I stay one step ahead of the game in all of my endeavors. I invested in my most precious resource: myself. The brilliant filly standing before you is the result of all my hard work... and the princess standing before me was my inspiration. Right now, you’re on top. But, y’know... the thing about being on top is that you rarely have a reason to look up. Let me give you one – on the house.”

Diamond Tiara cleared her throat.

“But before I do, could I please have some water?” she asked. “All this talk is making me parched.”

Luna conjured a glass of water for Diamond Tiara.

“Thanks,” said Diamond Tiara. She drank half of the glass and put it down. Her eyes wandered to the dais and she pointed at it. “There are all sorts of playground myths that we kids have about your little throne fountain. One says that you die instantly if you drink from it. Another says that if you throw a bit in there and make a wish, it’ll come true. My favorite is that there’s a toilet built into your throne and that the fountain is simply an open sewer system.”

“How charming,” muttered Luna sarcastically.

Diamond Tiara finished her water and put the glass down.

“Okay,” she continued. “You might want to consider getting with the times, Your Highness. The motion picture industry is booming right now and a story like The Mare In The Moon has tremendous box office potential. If The Mare In The Moon were to be made into a movie, you’d be reaching everypony who can see – including the ponies who are too young to read, ponies who don’t know how to read, and ponies who don’t like to read. There’s no way that any competent movie studio would skimp on the budget so it’s bound to be a high quality production. And if that’s not enough incentive, you’d be making some serious bank by selling the film rights. I’m sure your royal treasurer’s feelings wouldn’t be hurt by all that extra money you’d be raking in. Tartarus, if I knew the first thing about movie making, I’d make a bid on the rights myself. Just make sure to cut your sister in on those profits. It’s her story, too... and a lawsuit between sisters would be really ugly, not to mention costly.”

Celestia inhaled through her nostrils and exhaled through her mouth.

“Your free speech has been recognized and indulged,” stated Celestia. “Your evaluation is now complete and I have come to a decision. Luna? The box, if you please.”

“Very well,” said Luna. “But let the record show that I do so under protest.”

“Everything about this evaluation is strictly off the record, Luna.” She looked at Diamond Tiara. “No witnesses is best pony.”

Celestia smiled at Diamond Tiara in such a way that the filly couldn’t tell what to make of it.

Floating beside the former Mare In The Moon was a dark object that looked like a chest. Luna slowly approached Diamond Tiara with the object in tow. The chest made a solid sound as it was placed on the floor and the soft chime coming from Luna’s horn ceased.

Terror permeated every cell of Diamond Tiara’s body as she examined the chest. The darkness of the wood made it look centuries old. Did this chest contain an ancient execution tool? The royal pony sisters were present during some of the bloodiest periods of pre-Equestrian history. Back then, executions via evisceration were not unheard of.

She wanted to cry out for her father but he was miles away with no knowledge that she had been taken away to Canterlot. And calling out for the mare who gave birth to her was not only just as pointless – it was something that she swore she would never do again under any circumstances, not even to save her own life.

“The time to reap what thou hast sown is upon thee, little one,” said Luna. The Princess of the Night conjured a black wicker basket with a fancy red satin pillow inside it.

The basket was suspiciously large enough for a filly’s head.

Did the box house a decapitation device?

Diamond Tiara gulped.

Tartarus.

Her soul would spend eternity suffering in Tartarus. But if she was going to die, she’d die as she lived: on her own terms.

“Y-You’re smart to execute me, Princess,” said Diamond Tiara, her feigned fearlessness given away by the tears budding in her eyes. “I’d be honored by the gesture if I wasn’t about to lose my life. But I won’t beg you for mercy. I’ve always done what I’ve wanted to do, I’ve made no excuses for who I am... and I never once conformed to your definition of acceptable behavior. If there’s no place in your perfect Equestria for me to be myself, then I think I’d rather be dead.” She powered through her tears and gave Celestia a demented smile. “But mark my words: one day, a mare just like me will take my place – and then she’ll take your place. It’s just a matter of time.”

Diamond Tiara closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.

So it ends like this, huh?, she thought. Oh, Daddy. Oh, Silver Spoon. I’m so sorry.

The hinges of the chest creaked cruelly as it was opened slowly by Princess Luna.

“Gaze upon what my sister has decreed that you’ve earned,” said Luna.

Diamond Tiara kept her eyes shut and trembled as her last act of defiance. She had no obligation to view the means of her demise.

“Open thine eyes, child!” shouted Luna in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

Diamond Tiara opened her eyes. Luna looked back at Celestia who rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“What?” asked Luna as she smiled innocently. “It worked, didn’t it?”

She looked at the open chest and saw her own reflection in a mirror placed on the underside of the lid. Celestia’s horn glowed – as did the item that she extracted from the box via levitation.

In Diamond Tiara’s opinion, the object was too small and impractical for it to be a particularly effective tool for execution. As it was lowered onto the satin pillow in the basket, her eyes widened.

She recognized its shape. She would have been a fool not to have recognized it.

“Is that...?” asked Diamond Tiara.

Celestia nodded.

“This black diamond encrusted platinum tiara was given to me as a gift thousands of years ago by Celine the First, duchess of Trottingham and a dear friend of mine whose passing I mourn, even to this day.” Celestia and Luna bowed their heads and closed their eyes momentarily in memory of Celine. “I want you to have it as a token of my appreciation for the fine work that you’ve done.”

Diamond Tiara was so enthralled by the antique tiara that she almost didn’t hear the princess.

“Wait, what?” asked Diamond Tiara. “You’re seriously giving this... to me?”

Celestia nodded.

“I’ll spare you the trouble of having it appraised by telling you that there isn’t a single antique collector in all of Equestria who’s rich enough to pay you what it’s really worth,” she said. “As a precaution, I took the liberty of enchanting it with a powerful anti-theft spell. Anypony attempting to remove it from your head without your permission would immediately regret doing so.”

Diamond Tiara placed the most valuable antiquity on earth on her head and ran to the chest to admire herself in the mirror. She valued her original tiara greatly – but this new one made her look like a queen.

“I know what it’s like to wear a head accessory for an extended period of time and then suddenly find myself without it,” continued Celestia. “It can be very disorienting. As princess, I feel that I should give credit to my subjects where credit is due and I needed to ascertain that you alone were responsible for the behavior I’ve witnessed. But since I’m partially responsible as you said... and I can’t split a tiara with you, obviously... I’ll reward myself with some cake later on.”

“You and your cake,” muttered Luna.

“Is the tiara not to your liking?” asked Celestia.

“Are you kidding me?” replied Diamond Tiara. “I love it! It’s beautiful... but why would you reward me for behaving badly?”

“I disapprove of bad behavior, generally speaking – but for you, I can make an exception.”

“Okay, no more cryptic answers, Your Highness. Give it to me straight. You’re buying something from me with this tiara and I want to know what that is.”

“May I speak candidly?”

“Please do.”

Princess Celestia rose from her throne, flew beside Diamond Tiara and lay on the floor. With her height reduced, she wasn’t quite as scary or imposing as Diamond Tiara made her out to be. She found that she was actually rather swanlike. The alicorn princess closed her eyes, sighed softly, and then opened them. While Diamond Tiara was a stranger to empathy, she could see a pain hidden just behind Celestia’s eyes that harbored great sorrow, perpetual loss, and hardships that only one of her kind could ever fully understand.

“I’m centuries old, Diamond Tiara,” said Celestia with a gentle smile. “Time passes differently for me than other ponies. A wall exists. On one side are Discord, my sister, and myself. On the other, everypony else. I can inspire my subjects to live orderly lives by serving as a role model but I can only accomplish so much on my own because whereas I continue to live, they and their loved ones grow old and die. Resentment for my longevity is natural, thus the wall remains. And yet, improving my beloved Equestria remains my sincerest wish and one of my highest priorities as princess. I want everypony to be happy and spread love and friendship wherever they go. So the question is: how do I spread a message of friendship for mortal ponies to embrace without tainting it with my immortal presence?”

“Easy,” said Diamond Tiara. “You have mortal ponies do it for you instead.”

“That’s right,” said Celestia with a smile. “When my subjects witness ponies such as Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends performing heroic deeds, they feel that they can also achieve great feats of their own... which brings me to why I’m rewarding you. I’m going to share a secret with you that no one other than my sister knows. You have a sort of... unprinted license to behave as badly as you wish – within reason, of course – because you are part of a very special experiment of mine. You know the primary subjects of this project as Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”

Diamond Tiara was taken aback by the mention of her classmates.

“Those blank flanks?” she asked. “They’re your project?”

Celestia nodded.

“You were clever to have deduced my ulterior motives regarding The Mare In The Moon. But then, aren’t we all guilty of being selfish at one time or another? See, I’ve been grooming the Cutie Mark Crusaders from behind the scenes since my sister’s return. I’ve watched over them and I’ve painstakingly masterminded their development as a trio of friends from their first meeting right down to the creation of a Manehattan chapter of their club. It’s all part of my master plan. I believe that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are on the path to becoming a legendary band of mares whose exploits will go down in Equestrian history. They will be a shining example for many generations to come and others will be able to relate to them since they are not long-lived alicorns to be envied or feared.”

“But I’m not a Crusader.”

“Yes, I know. I watched as you first crossed Apple Bloom’s path on the weekend of your cute-ceanera. I was inclined to intervene but then something occurred to me. Ponies of substance can’t be mollycoddled. They must overcome the small obstacles if they are to learn how to overcome the large ones. So I decided to endorse your role in their development. You would serve as their persistent foil... and might I say that you’ve done an even better job than I had anticipated. I’ve even used my magic to put a spell on the Cutie Mark Crusaders that prevents them from earning their cutie marks before my experiment has concluded.”

“Really? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’s hilarious!”

“But I didn’t do it to punish them or to be cruel. It was so I could inspire them to work harder at discovering who they were. Also, I believed that you couldn’t resist picking on them if they remained ‘blank flanks’... and I was right about that. You are the rock in their road because you’re compelled to antagonize those that you deem beneath you. With each challenge you put in their path, they will grow and learn as they overcome it while you... Oh, my. How do I put this gently? Well, I guess there’s no other way to say it: you are exactly what and where I need you to be in their current stage of development. They have yet to reach their full potential whereas you... have more or less already reached yours.”

“What do you mean? I haven’t even reached adulthood yet.”

“Your age won’t make a difference. Don’t get me wrong. You’re still a vital part of the equation. The thing that makes you special is that you are exactly the kind of pony I need them to encounter. Cruel. Judgmental. Intolerant. You serve as the foil for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to overcome so that they can fully embrace the true nature of friendship at a tender age and become the legends that I know they can be. They will go down in history as role models and heroes and to my subjects, a hero is only as good as the villains she defeats. They can’t take on a villain such as Queen Chrysalis just yet... but they’ll get there someday... and they’ll get there through victories under their saddles which they’ll have earned by besting you.”

“What makes them so special? I got my own cutie mark first.”

“Not only do I have the ability to delay a cutie mark’s appearance... I can also influence its appearance. I did so with Twist to prevent her from becoming a Crusader... and I have done so with you.”

Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped.

“WHAT?” she cried.

“But I picked a pretty good one, don’t you agree?” asked Celestia. “I don’t recall hearing you complain when you received it. Twist certainly didn’t complain when I picked hers. Yours had to be flashy to play up to your ego... and what an ego it was.”

“You picked my cutie mark? But... I’m special, too.”

“I know, child – just not in the same way as the Cutie Mark Crusaders... but I urge you not to let that get you down. It is an honor to serve your princess in any fashion. To serve me is to serve Equestria and future generations of ponies will benefit from what you’ve already contributed to the growth of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and what you have yet to contribute. As a foil, you’ll never receive recognition for your contributions from the general public... so I thought I’d give you a special gift to show my gratitude.”

“But... how can you interfere with my development like that? You can’t just make somepony live their lives a certain way because of how it’ll benefits others! That’s... inequine!”

“Now, now, Diamond Tiara, let’s be fair. I don’t recall twisting your foreleg to get you to be mean to your classmates.”

“Yeah, but whenever I was mean to those blank flanks, I did it thinking I was acting by choice." She scowled at Celestia. "MY CHOICE! Who knows what I could have been if you hadn’t manipulated me? You have no right to do that to anypony!”

Celestia stood up and glared at Diamond Tiara.

“I am Princess Celestia of Equestria, Diamond Tiara,” she declared solemnly. “And you are a foal who would do well to remember to whom she is speaking when talking about my rights.” She flew back to her throne. “The role you play is for the benefit of all of the citizens of Equestria. The burdens that I carry on a daily basis are those which I gladly take on for the greater good. You should be just as gracious and thankful for your role. I know that the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ contribution to the spirit of Equestria will be spectacular. It wouldn’t surprise me if their exploits eclipsed those of Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends. And though it injures my pride to say it, their legend may even surpass that of the royal pony sisters.”

Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped again. She looked at Princess Luna who nodded to confirm Celestia’s beliefs. Diamond Tiara turned her head and frowned. She would never have guessed that she and Silver Spoon had been teasing ponies marked for greatness.

“Yes, they really do have that much potential,” continued Celestia. “As the ruler of all Equestria, I can do no less than everything within my power to nurture their friendship and their love of exploring the possibilities. And if their legend should come at the cost of one pony shining less brightly than the others – you, in this case – the least I can do is show that pony my appreciation.”

Diamond Tiara walked to the window and looked out of it. She saw Equestria spread out before her. It was a land that was supposed to be hers to rule some day. But that bubble had just been burst.

“What happens after we graduate?” she asked.

“Nothing at all,” said Celestia. “You will go your way and they will go theirs. They will go on to bigger and better things. Your life will be your own. You will have served your ultimate purpose and you can live out the rest of your life knowing that you have my gratitude for a job well done.”

Diamond Tiara’s ears drooped and she began to weep.

“Why are you crying?” asked Celestia.

“How can you not know why I’m crying?” asked Diamond Tiara, turning around to face Celestia. “How would you feel if somepony told you that your ultimate purpose was something that they picked for you? That you were fulfilling their wishes instead of your own? You said you wanted everypony to be happy! How can I be happy being a foil knowing that what I thought I was doing of my own free will was actually chosen for me by somepony else? You act like my happiness... my life! ...doesn't even matter! You’ve treated me like a toy! I am not a toy! I’m special! I don’t want to be a stepping stone for other ponies on their rise to greatness! I have just as much potential to become a legend as the Crusaders do, if not more! I want my life to have meaning; a meaning apart from what you’ve decided it should be! I want a life built around my own choices, not as a hoofnote in somepony else’s story!”

“I shared this secret with you because I believed that you were mature enough to accept it. Was I wrong?”

“I am mature... but what you’ve done to me is pure evil. I never asked to be part of your experiment.”

“But Diamond Tiara, you’re perfectly suited for your role. You should be proud. Being a foil is your fate.”

“Then I reject my fate!”

“HA!” Celestia reared her head back and laughed.

Diamond Tiara began to cry again.

“Please excuse my laughter,” said Celestia, covering her mouth with her forehoof, “but when you’ve lived as long as I have, you’d see the humor in what you just said. How do you intend to reject your fate when I could not reject mine nor Luna hers?”

“I’ll go against what you’ve allowed me to be,” said Diamond Tiara. “You’ve shown me my role and now I am officially abandoning it! I’ll become what I choose to be. And what I choose to be... is a legendary pony.”

Celestia’s pupils narrowed and her jaw dropped. As it was undignified, she shut it.

“My child, that’s preposterous,” she said. “What you’re suggesting is beyond your reach.”

“The fact that you think it’s beyond my reach only makes me want to reach for it more,” said Diamond Tiara.

“Do you mean to tell me that you plan to tread upon the same path of light and virtue as Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends?”

“I do. I’ll carve my own legend, without your help or your approval.”

“This is nonsense. Diamond Tiara, please listen to me. You’ve been so successful at being a foil that I’d hate to see you fail at something which you know nothing about. Leading a virtuous life isn’t as simple as you might think.”

“If those blank fla- I mean, if the Cutie Mark Crusaders can do it, how hard can it be?”

“Very. Ordinarily, I’d be pleased that a pony would dedicate themselves to a life of virtue but you don’t have it in you. A zebra cannot change its stripes. I need you-”

“I NEED ME!!!” screamed Diamond Tiara, poking herself in the chest. “My life belongs to me and what you think I’m capable of has no bearing on the heights I intend to achieve! You may be all-powerful but you aren’t all-knowing. Otherwise, you’d have seen how wrong you were about the Cutie Mark Crusaders and made me the primary subject of your experiment.”

“It is of no concern, dear sister,” said Luna. “Let this one do as she pleases. Silver Spoon is still available to us. Surely she can take this one’s place.”

“Oh, no, you don’t! She’s my friend!”

“‘Tis a lie. You are no longer speaking to her.”

“How do you know that?”

“I have my sources.”

Diamond Tiara tensed her jaw.

“She and I may not be speaking right now but I’ll fix that and take her along with me on my journey of virtue!” she declared. “Besides, she’s already indicated that she wanted to go that way anyway so she wouldn’t have been a very good choice.”

Neither Princess Celestia nor Princess Luna had anything else to say.

“I guess this means that your protégés will have to reach their full potential without my help,” said Diamond Tiara. “And if they can’t, that just means that your faith in them was misplaced. And who knows? With this new destiny of mine... and it is mine... my accomplishments might outshine theirs and yours!” Celestia smiled with wicked glee as the devilish spark often seen in Diamond Tiara’s typical behavior shone once more. Diamond Tiara realized how boastful her declaration sounded and she cleared her throat. “That is... uh... I mean... but if not, that’s okay. I’ll be satisfied with sharing the spotlight with you if I can’t steal it. We’ll let history be the judge.” She smiled nervously.

Celestia sighed.

“If you’re sure that you won’t reconsider...”

Diamond Tiara bit her lip and averted her eyes.

“There is one thing you could do to get me to change my mind, Your Highness,” she said. She looked at Princess Celestia. “Pardon my father. Do that for me... and I’ll play any role you want for as long as you want.”

“I’m sorry, child,” said Celestia, shaking her head slowly, “but that is a pardon I cannot grant. His fate is no longer in my hooves.”

“Then I’m sure, Your Highness. And one of my pet projects will be to stop any bullying I see going on in school... so don’t bother finding a new foil.”

Celestia turned up her nose and gave a short snort.

“I knew that you’d be the perfect foil for the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Diamond Tiara,” she said, “but I never suspected that you’d be mine as well. I suppose all that’s left for me to do is to wish you luck.”

“Luck?” scoffed Diamond Tiara. “Pfft. Luck is for ponies who aren’t named Diamond Tiara.”

Celestia smiled again at Diamond Tiara’s prideful comment and Diamond Tiara caught herself.

“Uh... That wasn’t arrogance – that was confidence,” said Diamond Tiara. “You believe that, right?”

Celestia’s face became the picture of apathy. Her horn glowed as she opened the door to the main hallway.

“Go,” she said flatly, turning her head away.

Diamond Tiara smiled as she saw that door open because with it opened a world of opportunities. She had defied a princess and gotten away with it. Now she wanted to take on the world more than ever before so that she could prove to everypony how special she was.

And this time, she’d be doing it her way.

“Have a care, Diamond Tiara,” said Celestia. “You would be doing yourself a great kindness by not telling the Cutie Mark Crusaders or anypony else about what happened here today.”

“Don’t worry,” said Diamond Tiara. “I have no intention of telling them that you think they’re better than I am. It’s not like they’d have a reason to listen to anything I’d have to say, anyway. And it’s just outrageous enough to be unbelievable... but I guess you planned it that way from the start. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have told me about it.”

“So you see why I said you’d be doing yourself a kindness by keeping quiet about it instead of saying you’d be doing me a kindness.”

“Well, duh.” Diamond Tiara walked toward the door. “Keep thinking I’m an idiot, Your Highness. It’ll only help me get to my throne that much faster.” She stopped and turned around. “I mean... just kidding! Heh heh.” She continued on her way out the door and through the hallway.

Rut, this is gonna be harder than I thought, she said to herself.

“My guards will fly you back home,” called out Celestia.

“Thanks but I think I’d rather take a train,” called out Diamond Tiara.

---

Princess Luna and Princess Celestia watched as Diamond Tiara left the throne room. Luna walked to the window to watch for her. She saw the pink filly cross the drawbridge and walk into town to get to the train station. Luna turned around to look at her sister and smiled.

“The coast is clear,” said Luna.

“All right, girls,” said Celestia in a clear voice. “You can come out now.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran out from behind Celestia’s throne.

“Wow, Princess!” exclaimed Scootaloo. “That was... I don’t even have the words!”

“Me neither!” said Apple Bloom. “Ya pulled it off perfectly, Yer Highness! You could totally be a professional actress! You too, Princess Luna.”

“Yeah, Diamond Tiara didn’t have a clue that you two were pulling her leg the whole time.” said Sweetie Belle. “A filly who’s one step ahead of the game is...” She paused for a moment to do some math. “...nine steps behind two princesses who are ten steps ahead of the game. Thank you so much!”

“No, thank you,” said Celestia. “I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun. I commend you on coming up with such a brilliant plan to reform your little friend.”

“Trust us, she’s no friend of ours,” muttered Scootaloo.

“Not yet, anyway,” said Luna. “You do know that making amends with you all will be fairly high on her to-do list, do you not?”

“Then we’ll treat her like she treated us!” barked Scootaloo.

“If that is what you wish,” said Celestia. “But isn’t a pony treating others badly exactly why you came to me and asked for my help?”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“Thanks a million fer going through all o’ this fer us, Yer Highnesses,” said Apple Bloom. “Life is gonna be sooooooooo much sweeter without Diamond Tiara pickin’ on us. We’ll let ya know if she breaks her word.”

“I suspect that there’ll be no need for that,” said Celestia. “She may have a different way of expressing it than you do... but I sense that Diamond Tiara has a strong will. I’ve seen that gleam in a pony’s eyes many times before and I have yet to be let down. She has too much pride to fail now that she knows that I’m waiting for her to fall short of her goal. Don’t be surprised if her popularity soars before long.”

“Oh, great!” moaned Sweetie Belle. “Now that Diamond Tiara’s gonna be good, we’ll have to be extra-specially super-duper good ponies if we’re gonna compete with her! Ohhh, why does life have to be-”

Sweetie Belle was cut off by Scootaloo’s hoof plugging up her mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it before,” said Scootaloo. “Put it on a T-shirt already.”

“We might not be future legendary ponies, Yer Highnesses,” said Apple Bloom, “but we’ll give it our best shot, if only ta keep up with Diamond Tiara.”

“Now that sounds like as good of a reason to be the best ponies you can be as I’ve ever heard,” said Celestia.

“Princess Celestia, how much of what you said to Diamond Tiara is true?” asked Scootaloo. “Do you think we’re really gonna have a destiny as great as Rainbow Dash and her friends?”

“Can ya really hoofpick a pony’s cutie mark?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Are you really keeping us from getting our cutie marks?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Sweetie Belle!” hissed Scootaloo.

“Because if you are, I’d be really sad.”

“That was an ad lib, my little ponies,” said Celestia. “I do not have the ability to grant cutie marks – nor do I have the ability to prevent them from appearing. Everypony eventually receives their cutie mark upon discovering what makes them special. And everypony has it in them to have as great a destiny as they’ve set their mind on achieving. The sky’s the limit.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

“Said the alicorn to the pegasus who can’t fly,” she muttered as she hung her head.

“My royal guards will fly you back to Ponyville,” said Celestia.

“Bye, Princess Celestia!” said the Crusaders. “Bye, Princess Luna!” The three fillies ran for the exit, eager for another fun chariot ride high in the sky.

“Those three will become Equestrian legends, Luna,” noted Celestia. “If only because of the legendary patience they must possess to have dealt with that Diamond Tiara filly for this long without beating her within an inch of her life.”

“Oh, dear sister,” said Luna. “You know of my soft spot for foals but I don’t mind telling you that that incorrigible whelp was just one more nasty remark away from receiving the back of my hoof.”

“Luna! I’m surprised at you! Wanting to strike a filly... before allowing your big sister first crack at the brat.” Celestia reared back a foreleg and swatted an imaginary Diamond Tiara.

Both alicorns burst out laughing.

“Bratty though she was,” noted Luna, “I must admit that she did have a most compelling argument regarding her conspiracy theory.”

Luna’s comment was met with an uncomfortable silence.

“What do you mean by that?” asked Celestia.

“Would you have any objection to granting me access to the royal accounting office to review the ledgers?” asked Luna. “Specifically, the ledgers for public library fund allotment?”

“To what end? Luna, I chose to play along with Diamond Tiara so that she felt as though she had one-upped me. Surely you don’t believe that Mare In The Moon library book business?”

“No, but-”

“Thank you, that’s good to know. I’ve been insulted enough for one day. Now if you don’t mind, I have some official business to attend to before it’s time to lower the sun.”

Luna’s ears drooped. She flew to the door.

“I... I meant no offense, Tia,” said Luna.

“There’s no need to apologize, Luna. If anything, I should apologize to you. Having to keep my composure with that obnoxious filly has put me on edge.”

“Think nothing of it, sister. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Sleep well.”

The door to the throne room opened and shut.

Celestia took a piece of parchment and began to write on it with a quill, speaking her words aloud as she wrote them.

“Dear Princess Twilight – as the ruler of Equestria, I have had the unpleasant duty of punishing those who do not live up to the fine standards of pony society. It is easily my least favorite duty... and I’m certain that your most recent courtroom experience has made it your least favorite duty, too. It can make even the most benevolent of rulers jaded and disillusioned. So it was a rare pleasure to help a lost soul rejoin our herd with just the gentlest of nudges. If there’s any sort of lesson to share with you, it’s that everypony has a need to write their own page in the history books... and nopony likes to feel that they are the product of the machinations of others. Royally yours, Princess Celestia.”

Celestia sent the letter and then produced a fresh page. She levitated her quill and wrote a second letter.

“Dear Summer Blockbuster – you will be happy to know that your motion picture company’s persistent attempts to purchase the motion picture rights to The Mare In The Moon have not been in vain. After careful consideration and a lengthy discussion with my royal advisors, I have decided that now is the time to ink a deal. Please schedule an appointment with my attaché Raven at Canterlot Castle at your earliest convenience. I believe that she above all others is best qualified to represent the crown’s interests in the negotiations to follow. Royally Yours, Princess Celestia. P.S. I reserve the right to have final say on script approval.”

She put down her letter and quill and stroked her chin pensively.

“To think that it took a foal to show me the benefit of a Mare In The Moon movie,” said Celestia to herself. “You’re slipping in your old age, Tia.”

“I agree,” said Princess Luna. “Your hearing is failing you, too.”

Celestia recoiled with a squeal.

“Luna!” she cried. “W-When did you get back in here?”

“I never left,” said Luna. “I walked to the door, opened it, closed it, flew back here... and remained aloft. Something must have distracted you. Something like reading your letter aloud as you wrote it.”

Celestia could see that her sister was not the least bit happy about her deception.

“Now, Luna,” she said. “Before you-”

“For a thousand years, I languished on the moon... and in all that time, I never once fooled myself into thinking that I did nothing to deserve my exile. But even as I lay upon the moon’s cold and dusty surface with nothing to keep me company save my tears, I always believed that I was the one with the darker heart. But alas! A foal saw what I could not. You exploited my banishment to cow our subjects into subservience... and financed the distribution of the tale with their own money! And now you seek to exploit it further by turning it into a motion picture?”

“I was going to cut you in; honest.”

“Silence! ” Thunder crashed as dark, angry storm clouds formed in the throne room. A powerful whirlwind whipped through Celestia’s hair and she closed her eyes. When she opened them just wide enough to see, she saw her sister floating in the air with a fearsome scowl and glowing eyes. “The tale of our banishment should be observed with solemnity and reverence, not with soft drinks and popcorn! Thou hast wounded us most egregiously on this day, Celestia... and we decree that thou shalt be punished most severely for thine millennium of manipulation and for thine attempt to capitalize on our incarceration for financial gain!”

Luna set herself back down on the floor. The dramatic weather disappeared. Luna lowered her head and grinned. She folded her wings and stalked Celestia like a panther. She sniffed the air.

“Is there a tickle piggy around here somewhere?” she asked.

Celestia’s pupils narrowed in terror.

“Oh, no,” whimpered Celestia, shaking her head rapidly and walking backwards away from her sister. “No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I assure you that there are no tickle piggies here.” Celestia knew what Luna planned on doing and was overcome with dread.

“Ooooooooooh, I think I see a wid-dle tick-le pig-gyyyyyyyy... and I’m going to catch herrrrrr.”

“Please, sister!” begged Celestia. “We’re not– ” She turned her head and stuck her head out the window. “GUAAAAAAARDS!!!” She returned her attention to Luna. “– foals anymore... so please cease this foolishness at once!”

Luna drew closer.

“Princess Luna!” Celestia tried to sound official despite her fear, hoping to get through to her sister. “Hear me! I am the Princess Of The Day... although I’ve personally never liked that title because it makes me sound like a deli item... But! Your behavior is highly inappropriate! I won’t stand for it.”

Luna’s grin widened.

“Then you’d betterrrrrr... run for it!”

Celestia screamed as Luna chased her around the throne room. The moon princess quickly caught her older, less nimble sister and wrestled her to the ground. She lay on top of Celestia, wrapped her legs around her older sister’s body, and used her wing tips to tickle her sister’s ribs mercilessly.

Celestia screamed with nonstop hysterical laughter as tears poured outward from her eyes like fountains. She writhed and squirmed to free herself but the effect that the tickling had on her made it difficult to escape. Desperate to be freed from her sister’s punishment any way she could, she bit Luna’s mane and pulled on it as hard as she could while her hind hooves clamped down on her sister’s tail and pulled that with equal force.

Luna closed her eyes, reared her head back, took a deep breath, and yowled with pleasure – in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Four guards stormed through the throne room doors; one a lieutenant, the others privates. They saw Princess Luna moaning, trembling, and panting suggestively as she lay on top of Princess Celestia who was also left breathless by the tickling she had endured. Taken out of context, it was quite a spectacle. The three lower ranking guards quickly sat down, removed their helmets and placed them over their crotches. The lieutenant snorted at this deviation from standard uniform and he scowled at his soldiers.

“Cover up, privates!” commanded the lieutenant.

“Sir, that’s exactly what we’re doing, sir,” stated one of the three guards, his voice cracking.

“NOW!!”

With sweat rolling down their heads, the guards reluctantly obeyed their commanding officer and returned their helmets to their heads. The lieutenant facehoofed as he caught sight of what his stallions were willing to break military dress code in order to conceal.

The royal sisters took notice as well but were far less upset than the lieutenant was. Celestia and Luna rose from the floor and stood on all fours.

“Oh, my,” said Princess Luna, grinning as she ogled the guards and bit her lower lip.

“At ease, gentlecolts,” said a smirking Princess Celestia, not even pretending to look away. “There’s no need for you to...” She cleared her throat. “...salute us.”

“My sincerest apologies, Your Highnesses,” said the lieutenant. He turned to face his subordinates with a fierce scowl. “You’re dismissed. Just you wait until we get back to the barracks.”

“Please don’t be too... hard on them, lieutenant,” said Celestia, nudging Luna with her elbow. Luna turned her head and sputtered with laughter at her sister’s pun. The guards cleared the throne room, leaving the sisters alone again.

“Okay,” said Luna, pointing to where the stallions sat earlier and smiling. “That was art.”

“Oh, that was most definitely art,” said Celestia, matching her sister’s smile. “Sign me up for attending an art gallery featuring more of the same.”

The sister shared a hoof bump. As their sandals collided, drops of moisture flew from Celestia’s golden slippers. She looked at the bottom of her slipper and found that it was wet. She looked down and saw that the floor was also wet. She stood on her hind legs and looked down. Her lower abdomen was soaked. She rubbed her right forehoof across the moisture on her coat and brought her hoof to her nose. She sniffed it. Her pupils narrowed and she trembled with dread.

“L... Luna?” she said, followed by a gulp. “When you were on top of me... did you...? Is this your...?”

“Yes, I did... and yes, it is,” said Luna. “It was unavoidable. For future reference, please refrain from pulling my hair if I’m situated directly above you. Not that I intend to make a habit of climbing on top of you but you get the idea.”

“Duly noted,” groaned Celestia. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take about a hundred baths... and then I must seek out a psychiatrist who specializes in treating PTSD.”

“Told you that you’d be punished... and let’s not keep secrets from each other anymore, all right?”

Celestia nodded, mumbling something as she slowly walked out of the throne room, fanning herself with her wings.

Luna stuck her head through the doorway. She saw that Celestia had turned the corner and was now gone. Luna flew to the throne, took a seat, and began writing a letter of her own.

“Dear Cheese Cake,” she said. “Big Cheese got a hold of this month’s SubPlot and showed it to Purple Smart. Now Purple Smart wants to take us out! You know the drill. Close up operations at the Canterlot studio and tell the girls to lay low for a while. Once the heat dies down, we’ll relocate to Las Pegasus and start over. And if we make it out of this in one piece, I swear that I am never greenlighting another all-princess issue again. Yours, Green Cheese.”

Author's Note:

This chapter is respectfully dedicated to Telaros, one of my biggest supporters here on fimfiction.net.

Comments

[BronyPonyMan]

this chapter was art. plain and simple. beautiful!

[i_am_the_jam]

Feh. Diamond Tiara deserves to die...

[Cody5371]

Magnificent work chap! Although I have seen some errors in this chapter... I greatly enjoyed your hard work and dedication to this story. Keep it up!

Note: If Diamond Tiara dies... I am forever in your gratitude.

[Mad Maudlin]

“Spike, seriously, it’s us,”

That is precisely why he's worried. Also, that four foot tongue is going to look mighty interesting in a few years.

darn well better be able to justify how and why it chooses favorites.

It's Discord, Dash. His reason is: 'Seemed funny at the time'.

It's a bit odd that Celestia and Luna considered this a valid use of their precious time. Well, Celestia. In retrospect, Luna seemed to have had a lot of fun.

[Rhanoa]

It was good. I really like the confrontation between Diamond and the two princesses, particularly that little speech when she thought of her imminent doom. That was exhilarating. Never thought DT was a complotist though.

Good luck Diamond, she has a lot to make amends. The fuck was she thinking, accusing of rape your own father. Not the best last words to say at your would be executed soon father.

[Dark Colt Sabata]

One, I almost wanted to unfave this story when you included religion

And two, with all this talk about art I'm surprised Deidara didn't randomly came in yelling "Art is an explosion!" and blowing up everything in sight.

[Thi Fernandes]

th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/029/3/9/trollestia_by_daughter_of_fantasy-d5t7o9p.jpg

Oh Celestia! You're magnificent.

[TheCoercedPenwrite]

I waited... so long... for this chapter. I understand that it takes a long time to write this, though, so take your time. Just don't quit; you started a world here, and I am determined to finish it.

As far as Silver Spoon being groped, I was actually surprised you came back to that. I thought of it as a relatively minor thing, but when she went through it like this, I thought about it more. Specifically, I thought about it from a "what if she were human" perspective, and then I understood. Also, felt a little sick. Still, i'm glad you brought that up, it's more realistic to me now, at least,

And, as usual, I don't know whether to hug DT, or smack the s*** out of her. Calling rape on your father? Really? That seems a bit much, even compared to your usual fare. Also, if that happened to be her standing over hat pit... I don't know how to feel about that. Happy,sad, angry, frustrated, take your pick.

If there's one thing that confuses me about this version of her, though, it's how blasted smart she is. I mean, she just literally tried to play Celestia. Obviously, she got her just desserts in an almost literal "your arms aren't long enough to box with god" moment, but she didn't do half bad in the attempt, and Luna seemed to completely fall for it. Honestly, can't complain, since I absolutely love the character, but it makes me wonder where you got this interpretation of her from, because I never in a million years would have thought of her like this.

Speaking of Celestia... I love your version, by the way, she's certainly special. Not quite "wise and graceful ruler", not quite "unrepentatnt troll", and not quite "god from on high".. more like some wonderfully charming mix of the the three, with a little extra added in. But you knew that already.

[angelbunny]

5634948

I waited... so long... for this chapter. I understand that it takes a long time to write this, though, so take your time. Just don't quit; you started a world here, and I am determined to finish it.

I put my Mahou Sensei Negima! fic on indefinite hold because when I discovered MLP, I knew I had found my true fandom. I'm just as determined to finish it as you are to read it.

As far as Silver Spoon being groped, I was actually surprised you came back to that. I thought of it as a relatively minor thing, but when she went through it like this, I thought about it more. Specifically, I thought about it from a "what if she were human" perspective, and then I understood. Also, felt a little sick. Still, i'm glad you brought that up, it's more realistic to me now, at least,

Silver Spoon was too freaked out by Diamond Tiara's abuse at the time to focus on herself. It really hit home when it came back to her during her talk with Sweetie Belle.

And, as usual, I don't know whether to hug DT, or smack the s*** out of her.

Smack the s*** out of her.

Calling rape on your father? Really? That seems a bit much, even compared to your usual fare. Also, if that happened to be her standing over hat pit... I don't know how to feel about that. Happy,sad, angry, frustrated, take your pick.

What upset Diamond Tiara most about that was that her dad was up on rape charges that were basically her fault. Cheerilee, too.

If there's one thing that confuses me about this version of her, though, it's how blasted smart she is. I mean, she just literally tried to play Celestia. Obviously, she got her just desserts in an almost literal "your arms aren't long enough to box with god" moment, but she didn't do half bad in the attempt, and Luna seemed to completely fall for it. Honestly, can't complain, since I absolutely love the character, but it makes me wonder where you got this interpretation of her from, because I never in a million years would have thought of her like this.

I got it from Barnyard Bargains.

Speaking of Celestia... I love your version, by the way, she's certainly special. Not quite "wise and graceful ruler", not quite "unrepentatnt troll", and not quite "god from on high".. more like some wonderfully charming mix of the the three, with a little extra added in. But you knew that already.

I'm mostly inspired by the Celestia and Luna in the IDW comics and my own take on them.

[angelbunny]

5634948
Diamond Tiara did not burn Silver's molesters.

Want to know who that was? Doctor Hooves spoke about her. And she appeared in Season 2.

[TheCoercedPenwrite]

5638434
Pink...filly... Season 2...
No... you couldn't... you wouldn't...

[angelbunny]

5628040
Thanks for reading and thanks for your comment. I am guilty of being overeager to post a new chapter and I miss a few things before thinking that I'm done. I'll go through and see about fixing those errors.

[angelbunny]

5626251
I hope your definition of art isn't the same as Celestia's and Luna's - because if so, you've compared my latest chapter to a bunch of horse erections.

[angelbunny]

5633995
Random Tafia, thank you for commenting and reading. The fetish stuff has reached its climax (pun intended) in Subsidy so there won't be any more references to it. Since you've come this far, I take it you're enjoying the story?

[angelbunny]

5630344

It was good. I really like the confrontation between Diamond and the two princesses, particularly that little speech when she thought of her imminent doom. That was exhilarating.

Thank you, Rhanoa. When I was writing that, I knew it had to be special and that I couldn't halfass it. The hair was standing up on the back of my neck when I wrote her monologue. She saw the end of the road and she wasn't going to go out like some milksop. She was true to herself, even if that self was a bitch with a sense of entitlement the size of Manehattan.

Good luck Diamond, she has a lot to make amends. The fuck was she thinking, accusing of rape your own father. Not the best last words to say at your would be executed soon father.

That was a bigger wakeup call than when she first found out that her dad was arrested. And she did regret it. "What have I done?" turned into "What the rut is wrong with me?"

[angelbunny]

5639552

I could, I would, and I shall.

For those of you still unsure who the mystery junior pyromaniac was, here's another hint: Loosely translated, Majununi, the zebra name for the filly, is Swahili for "crazy".

[angelbunny]

5628325

Also, that four foot tongue is going to look mighty interesting in a few years.

Heh, I figured someone would make that joke.

[angelbunny]

5632323
I think of it as philosophy without the doctrine. In a real world, realistic characters are going to have real questions like "why am I here?", "where did we come from?" and "Do you have any snacks?"

This won't carry over into further chapters.

[Dark Colt Sabata]

5641735 Thank you.

[BronyPonyMan]

5641418 ...... No?

[angelbunny]

5641844
However, as Tartarus, and by extension Elysium, are a part of my story, those final resting places will be visited in the third part with a reference to intelligent design in a lighthearted manner. To give you some idea of how far away that is, the first part isn't over yet.

[Rated Ponystar]

Damn, how long did it take you to make this chapter. Nice work on the chessmatch betwen DA and PC

[angelbunny]

5661642
Thank you, Rated Ponystar.

A good percentage (75%-80%) of the talk between DT and PC was already written and has been for a year. I just sharpened it up to fit the new developments like DT offering to continue her role as the foil for the CMC if Filthy Rich was pardoned. Everything else in the chapter (The CMC asking Spike to send the details of Operation: Diamond Exchange to Princess Celestia, Rarity and Rainbow Dash's scene) was all new material. It took a while to arrange and juxtapose all the scenes in the order which I felt worked best.

[Telaros]

HA! That this chapter was just awesome. Celestia vs Diamond Tiara. Luna vs Celestia. I can't begin to imagine how long it took you to put this one together. A couple bits took me completely by surprise, and the whole Foil Destiny thing was priceless, nice bits of meta (or what felt like it to me with certain fanfics that depict the CMC's future lol) and just wow.

I don't know if I'm supposed to expect tragedy around one corner or comedy. You got me good. You got me good this time. So much hardcore drama with Filthy and DT and you give us that whole Celestia stuff.

God, I'd probably be crying too if my own help actually gave me looks of distrust like that, too.

By far my favorite chapter. I'm just wondering now if that other pony from earlier was Pinkie Pie or Diamond Tiara though in the cave.

Super duper tired. Been very stressed with lots of errands. Glad I saved this for a good night in which I wouldn't be disturbed. Luna was adorable btw. Off to the next chapter.

And thanks! Love the story, glad you're so dedicated to writing it. So appreciate the effort you put into this chapter, it was a doozy! A fun doozy. 20k words of pure at your edge drama with that traditional mix of humor that somehow blends in so naturally. Seriously, wtf is up with that? lol

P.S. That whole touching on letting hate into your heart by Silver Spoon, all my huggles. That filly is too sweet for her own good. Bravo Spoon.

[angelbunny]

5704036

HA! That this chapter was just awesome. Celestia vs Diamond Tiara. Luna vs Celestia. I can't begin to imagine how long it took you to put this one together. A couple bits took me completely by surprise, and the whole Foil Destiny thing was priceless, nice bits of meta (or what felt like it to me with certain fanfics that depict the CMC's future lol) and just wow.

Subsidy was new material with the exception of Silver forgiving her molesters, DT shaming her dad, and DT taking on the royal pony sisters. The new material didn't even take all that long to write. Sorry I don't have an actual length of time to quote you. I just try to get whatever writing I can get in on any given day and I don't watch an actual clock most of the time.

It was the editing that took me forever, like deciding the scene order and finding the right outtros for them. There was also some shaping up I needed to do on the old material to include story elements that weren't in the original story like Luna being the owner of the company that published the dirty magazine. I enjoyed writing Luna into this story but I don't know how many more appearances she'll have in future chapters since there's not much else for her to do.

And I'd love, love, love to know which parts took you by surprise. Tell me, pretty please.

I don't know if I'm supposed to expect tragedy around one corner or comedy. You got me good. You got me good this time. So much hardcore drama with Filthy and DT and you give us that whole Celestia stuff.

Here's a behind the scenes tidbit: I once lived with a couple I met online (not my best move ever) and the closed door scene between DT and Filthy Rich happened for real. Here's what happened. They had an argument. The guy locked himself in his room and refused to talk to her. The girl offered herself to him for abuse ("Beat me up if you want") just so long as he opened the door and talked to her. It really affected me because at the time, she was pregnant with his child. Thank goodness he didn't take her up on that offer. I moved out shortly after that incident but it always stuck with me.

God, I'd probably be crying too if my own help actually gave me looks of distrust like that, too.

Let Rarity show you how it's done, Filthy!

By far my favorite chapter.

Glad you liked the chapter dedicated to you.

I'm just wondering now if that other pony from earlier was Pinkie Pie or Diamond Tiara though in the cave.

It was neither. Pinkie's too traumatized to even think of taking a life right now and while I never wrote a scene showing it, Silver never discussed her molestation incident with Diamond Tiara so DT doesn't even know about them.with The identity was hinted at and discussed in previous comments with ShadowGentleman. Go fish or, if you want to be surprised, stay tuned.

Super duper tired. Been very stressed with lots of errands. Glad I saved this for a good night in which I wouldn't be disturbed. Luna was adorable btw. Off to the next chapter.

Hope you're taking it easy now. And thanks, I was hoping Luna would get some love by my readers.

And thanks! Love the story, glad you're so dedicated to writing it. So appreciate the effort you put into this chapter, it was a doozy! A fun doozy. 20k words of pure at your edge drama with that traditional mix of humor that somehow blends in so naturally. Seriously, wtf is up with that? lol

I can't promise that they'll all be 20k words long or even close but I do like putting out chapters that address a B subplot and a C subplot along with the A main plot handled at the same time.

P.S. That whole touching on letting hate into your heart by Silver Spoon, all my huggles. That filly is too sweet for her own good. Bravo Spoon.

Thank you so much for commenting on Silver's scene in Subsidy. No, really. Thanks. Who among us could do what Silver did? Ya got some joker dead to rights and you can make them pay for the wrongdoing they committed against you... and you forgive them. If this doesn't put her on the "redeemed" pedestal, I don't know what will. I feel sad for her that only one of the stallions seemed to be contrite while in her presence - but I suppose it would have been worse if they were all sorry and thankful to her face and then turned back into their boozehound selves once they were released from the police station. Either way, they got cooked.

As always, thank you for your comments.

[Nikkori]

If Celestia told those lies to Diamond Tiara, and DT told Everypony in Ponyville, leading to an uproar, leading the crusaders to tell the truth, leading everything back to Celestia for lying a little filly's face off just because three little fillies wanted her to?

CELESTIA! What you do when they come for you?

Uh........ I'll brainwash the entire nation?

*cough* TwilightSparkle!

[Rhanoa]

You know, when Celestia said Diamond is just a stepping stone for the development of the crusaders, well after the last episode, I think she was awfully right.

[ServingSpoon]

“Still not worth the risk of what could happen if you sent objectionable material. Besides, Rarity’s kissed my cheek before.”
“I meant on the lips.”
“Deal.” Spike blew a flame at the scroll and sent the message on its way to Canterlot. “If a reply comes in, I’ll bring it straight to you – unread.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders high-hoofed to celebrate their success.

Spike I am disappoint..

the more I read the more I am convinced that Twist was the very embodiment of Ponyville's innocence and her contact of Silver in her dreams was her desperate attempt to reach out to the one pony she thought she could trust to instill some of that order and sanity back into the town she loved.

Obviously Twist saw a goodness and a capacity for compassion and rational thought in Silver's heart after she died and became a celestial being. But Silver is just one filly. To restore the balance she needs allies and the CMC are most certainly and always have been an enemy and agents of chaos. I have no respect for either Diamond or the Crappy Mark Crusaders.

weeps not only for Cheerilee but the town she loved that even the embodiment of laughter has abandoned to it's wickedness and depravity like Sodom and Gomorra.

help us all!

[ServingSpoon]

“I had to do it,” said Silver Spoon. “I’m not giving hatred any more power over me.”

Seems in all her divine wisdom and understanding has chosen her avatar wisely.

[ServingSpoon]

“Not only do I have the ability to delay a cutie mark’s appearance... I can also influence its appearance. I did so with Twist to prevent her from becoming a Crusader... and I have done so with you.”
Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped.
“WHAT?” she cried.
“But I picked a pretty good one, don’t you agree?” asked Celestia.

fuck you

[ServingSpoon]

“I do. I’ll carve my own legend, without your help or your approval.”
“This is nonsense. Diamond Tiara, please listen to me. You’ve been so successful at being a foil that I’d hate to see you fail at something which you know nothing about. Leading a virtuous life isn’t as simple as you might think.”
“If those blank fla- I mean, if the Cutie Mark Crusaders can do it, how hard can it be?”

No.. I take it back! FUCK ME is FUCKING GENIUS!

THIS GOD TIER TROLL IS A FUCKING GENIUS!

[ServingSpoon]

“All right, girls,” said Celestia in a clear voice. “You can come out now.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran out from behind Celestia’s throne.
“Wow, Princess!” exclaimed Scootaloo. “That was... I don’t even have the words!”
“Me neither!” said Apple Bloom. “Ya pulled it off perfectly, Yer Highness! You could totally be a professional actress! You too, Princess Luna.”

AAAAND I JUST realized THIS was all Applebloom's plan and I am both speechless and frightened by that fact..

[ServingSpoon]

I loved you..

then i hated you half way through this..

Now I love you again