Step-Parents

by Azreale

Chapter Five

“I promise you, dear, it won’t be that bad.” Cadence lied through her teeth as she took off the pearl necklace that Shining had given her and putting on gold chain instead. It accented her rose colored dress that she had donned just for the occasion. “Casanova’s is a wonderful restaurant, and I’m sure we’ll have a great time.” The Princess cocked her head as she adjusted the gold bracelet around her left foreleg.

“I don’t wanna go.” Shining grumbled, sitting on his hind legs and crossing his arms defensively, his lower lip stuck out in a pout. “It’s gonna be terrible.” Despite the situation she was in, Cadence couldn’t help but to grin at the adorable sight of her husband in a dashing tuxedo, whining like a child.

“I know it’s shocking, my love, but did you think that your mother was going to stay single forever? Of course she’s going to find somepony new to treat her right. I, for one, am happy for her.” Cadence smiled brightly, which made Shining’s frown recede just slightly.

“I knew that she wasn’t going to be single forever Cady… hay, I knew that she was probably gonna get with this new guy! But she’s dating my subordinate! Do you not see how weird that is?!” Shining felt like banging his head against a wall in frustration.

“Of course I do, dear,” Cadence moved in and nestled Shining’s head against her chest, letting him feel her heartbeat and her breaths. “But this is for your mother, not you. You have to let go of those negative emotions, my love. Think about how you would feel if Twilight hated me just because I was marrying you.” She let a moment pass in order to let her words sink in. “It wouldn’t feel very nice, would it?” Silence.

“No…” Shining finally answered, his voice muffled by her pink coat and dress. “I guess not. I still don’t like it though.”

“You don’t have to like it, my love. You just have to accept it.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Flash, there’s no need to be nervous. Cady and Shiny will love you! Trust me,” The older mare pinched Flash’s cheeks as she whispered, earning a blush from him, “Who wouldn’t love this cutesie little face?” Flash let her linger a moment longer before brushing off her hooves, shaking his head back and forth.

“Velvie, it’s not ‘Cady and Shiny’ I’m worried about! It’s my boss, Shining Armor, and his wife – and might I add, my princess – Cadenza, that I’m worried about! This is one hundred percent inappropriate! What will the other guards think?!” Flash waited a moment as he processed what he just said, “Oh sweet Celestia, what will the other guards think?!”

“Keep your voice down Flashy, we’re in a restaurant,” Velvet gently reminded him, “And what are you talking about? What will they think?” Flash turned to the mare, a horrified look in his eyes.

“Isn’t it obvious? They’re gonna think that I only started dating you to get close to Prince Shining! They’re gonna think that I did it to get a raise, or get closer to him, or… or something!” Flash Sentry was nearly hyperventilating, and Velvet was fixing him with an unimpressed glare.

“Honestly Flash, you’re acting like a child. Nopony is going to think that about you. After all, you didn’t even realize that I was Shiny’s mom, and I’ve been dating you for six months!” At this, Flash took a sharp intake of air – and slowly released it a few seconds afterwards.

“You’re right – you’re completely right, Velvie. I am being ridiculous. I didn’t even think about that.” He nodded slowly, mulling over her words. “You’re absolutely right.” So lost in thought he was, that Flash didn’t even notice when Velvet stood up and started waving her forearms frantically in the air.

“Shiny! Cady! We’re over here! Flashy and I are here!” Velvet hollered, drawing the attention of the two royals – as well as everypony else in the restaurant – to her location. Shining and Cadence shyly made their way through the crowd, trying to avoid the awkward, awe-struck stares as they took their seats. “I’m so glad that you two could make it! How are you doing?” Velvet asked in a quieter tone once they had sat down and most of the stares had been averted.

“We’re doing very well, thank you, Velvet.” Cadence replied with a smile. “It was very kind of you to invite us along for dinner.”

“Oh pish, my dear! It was the least I could do!” Velvet laughed. Cadence merely nodded, and both mares turned to their stallions, subtly punching them in the ribs in order to make them speak. Flash and Shining looked at each other awkwardly, and without the others knowledge, both were sweating profusely.

“So uh… Flash… how long you, uh, been working in the guard?” Shining said after a few unpleasantly painful moments. Flash swallowed hard before speaking.

“Well, uh, about eight years, I think? As, um, Princess Cadenza could probably tell you, I worked for Her Highness, Princess Celestia, for a long time until I was t-transferred over to the Crystal Empire a year and a half ago.” Flash mumbled quickly. Shining nodded slowly, pursing his lips, and silence overtook the table again. The only break in said silence was Cadence coughing.

“What was that, dear?” Velvet looked up as Cadence lowered her hoof. “Did you say something?”

“Hm, me?” Cadence’s eyes were slightly wider than normal, “No, no, I didn’t.”

“Oh, okay.” Stillness took them once more, but was mercifully broken quickly by an uptight looking crystal waiter in a spiffy pressed tuxedo.

“My Princess, Mi Amore Cadenza, and Prince Shining Armor, might I say what an absolute pleasure it is having you dine at our establishment this fine, beautiful evening.” The waiter started, bowing his head low to the two. Cadence and Shining returned the gesture. “May the Goddess bless you with many healthy, beautiful foals in the years to come.”

“Ah-ah-ah-ah!” Shining tried to interrupt him, but it was too late. The words were said, and in seeing Velvet’s perked up ears, Shining knew that he was too late.

“Speaking of foals, when are you two going to give me some grandkids?” Velvet leaned forward, glaring at them through half lidded eyes. Shining facehooved, a flush spreading across his features.

“Mom, we’ve been over this! You’ll get them when Cadence and I have discussed it. We’re not ready yet!”

“Well you’ve been married for nearly two years, Shiny,” Velvet scolded, pursing her lips, “If you’re not ready soon, you might never be ready! I don’t see why you’re not listening to me!”

“You don’t get a say, mother!” Shining matched his voice to hers despite Cadence’s protests, “If you’re not the one having the foals, you don’t get a say!” Velvet sighed before grinning slyly at Flash.

“Well then, maybe Flash and I will have foals of our own!” Velvet ignored Flash’s horrified gasp, “How would you like that, Shiny? A new baby brother or sister to help me look after? I’m sure Twily wouldn’t mind!” The older mare grabbed Flash around his neck and pulled him closer as he started hyperventilating again. “What do you say to that?”

“Mom! We are not discussing this any further! Ugh!” Shining put his hooves over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut, “Bad, bad, bad mental images!”

“Why Shiny? If you’re not going to give me the little foals that I want, then I’ll have them myself!”

“Velvie!” Flash yelped, pulling away and shaking his head frantically, “No! No no no! This is weird! I’m not discussing having children while my boss is at the table!”

“Why not, Flashy? I told you, today, Shiny is not your boss. He is my son, and Cadence is my daughter-in-law. There’s no need to be so formal!”

“I have to be formal, Velvie, I didn’t even know that you were Prince Shining Armor’s mother until yesterday! And I am not speaking of children in the presence of the ever gracious Princess Cadenza!” Flash looked to Cadence, who was just staring down at the table cloth. “I am so, so sorry, my Princess. I don’t know what has come over Velvet tonight.”

“What’s come over me? We’re talking about what Shining’s not coming into! I’m not getting any younger here, honestly!”

“Mom. You’re really not as old as you think you are. You said it yourself; you’re still young enough to have kids of your own!”

“That doesn’t mean that I actually will though!”

“Velvet? Shining?” Cadence interjected softly, her eyes never once leaving the table. She bit her lower lip as she tried to smile politely.

“And why would you even want kids with this guy?!” Shining pointed an accusing hoof to Flash, “He’s not even that good looking! And I bet he’s lousy in bed!”

“Hey! Don’t bring my bedroom skills into this!” Flash retorted, a little louder than intended. Cadence noticed painfully that the rest of the ponies were starting to stare again.

“Boys please, keep it down. We’re in a classy establishment.” The Princess put a hoof on her husband’s shoulder, trying to get him to calm down. “Now, as I was saying-“

“How did you even meet my mom anyways?! Did you know that you’re the reason why they got a divorce?!” Shining stood up, yelling. “If it wasn’t for you and your overly spiked mane, they would still be together!”

“Shining Armor Sparkle!” Velvet roared, “I cannot believe you! Why are you being so childish?!”

“ME, mom?! I’M being childish?!” Shining’s eyes were wide with exasperation, “You’re the one dating somepony whose twenty years younger than you!”

“Shining, please,” Cadence was nearly at her wits end, “If you would just-“

“Why does that matter, Shiny?! Age is just a number! Flash is a mature, handsome stallion, and I’m pretty sure that I’m old enough to be able to choose who I want to date!”

“Well obviously you chose wrong! Do you know how embarrassing this will be for me when the rest of my guard finds out that my subordinate is dating my mother?!”

“Why should it affect you at all, Shiny?! You’re not a part of this! Stop acting like you are! This is my life, and my relationship, and you’re not a part of this!”

“Oh, big words coming from a mare, who not five minutes ago, was telling me that she has a say in when I have foals!” Shining scoffed, grinning inside. Velvet just shook her head, visibly upset.

“You know-“

“STOP!” Cadence yelled, slamming her hooves on the table and standing up, giving the three angry glares. “Will you three stop bickering like children and stop?!”

“Cady, I-“

“No, be quiet Shining!” Cadence snapped, batting his hoof away. “This entire time, the three of you have been arguing over something so petty and small, and I haven’t been able to get two words in!” She sat down again, smoothing her rumpled dress. “Now, if you would kindly be quiet for about thirty seconds, may I be permitted to say what I want to say?”

“Of course, Princess Cadenza… I apologize.” Flash mumbled, lowering his head in shame. Cadence sighed and nodded.

“Thank you. Now then,” She turned to her right and looked at the waiter standing awe-struck and speechless, “I would like a red wine and the vegetable bouillabaisse.” At a look back to her table, and the three blushing, ashamed faces, she turned back to the waiter and added with a deadpan voice;

“On second thought, make the wine a hard cider.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“That literally could not have gone worse.” Shining groaned as he collapsed onto their bed, covering his eyes with his hooves. “I don’t see how that could have gone any worse.”

“Of course it could have gone worse dear, it’s not like you insulted your mother’s new boyfriend and told her what a big mistake she’s making,” Cadence fixed Shining with an unimpressed glare, “Oh wait, you did do all those things.”

“Cady, please, spare me the lecture. I know I messed up. I just can’t stand the thought of those two together!” Shining swung himself up and off the bed, and started pacing around the room. “I have to do something!”

“Well what can you do, darling? Try and get your mom and dad back together?” She said with a playful smirk. “What else is there?” Cadence looked over as Shining was silent.

“Cady, that’s actually a pretty good idea!” Shining exclaimed, jumping in the air and beaming. “That’s a brilliant idea, actually!”

“Oh no, no it’s not.” Cadence grabbed his shoulders and shook her husband hard, “No it’s not. Shining Armor, you are not interfering with her relationship!”

“Cady, do you really want my mother, the mare who nags and complains at us to have foals all the time, living in the Crystal Kingdom? Practically right next door to us?” Cadence bit her lip, thinking. “Do you really want my mom in the castle all day, distracting us and embarrassing us?”

“Well…”

“Do you really want Flash to become your step-father-in-law?”

“I suppose not…”

“Exactly!” Shining clapped his hooves together and resumed his pacing. “Me and her can go on a little… outing, you could say. I could apologize to her and invite her to dinner, just the two of us. And dad could just mysteriously show up! And we can set up a romantic atmosphere for them, and they would fall back in love!”

“Hold on there, darling,” Cadence interrupted, holding up a hoof, “I am not a part of this. This is all on you. I’m not the one with the problem with Flash. You are. You can do this on your own. I won’t stop you, but I’m not going to help you.”

“Fair enough,” Shining mumbled, nodding his head slowly. “I can get other ponies to help, though… maybe Twily! Yeah, Twily would help! I bet she would love to see mom and dad back together!”

“Are you sure that you really want to do this, Shining? Meddling in the affairs of love is a dangerous place to tread…”

“Of course I have to do this, Cady! These are my parents we’re talking about! Between me and Twily, we’re bound to come up with an idea so romantic, that those two will have no choice but to fall back in love!”

“And how do you plan on contacting Twilight about your little plan?” Cadence asked as she sat down, feeling exhausted. Shining laughed heartily at her.

“Why my dear, that’s easy!” The stallion stood up tall, stretching his forearm out in a salute, before bellowing, “Cadence, take a letter!”

“Excuse me?” Cadence asked, raising an eyebrow. “You want me to what?” Shining visibly deflated.

“It means ‘write this down’. Come on, Cady, Twily says this all the time!”

‘No, I know that-“

“Cadence, take a letter! 'Dear Princess Twilight, today I learned that our mother has found another certain special somepony, somepony that you might remember from your last visit here…'”

Cadence resisted the urge to facehoof as she pulled out a quill and scroll and began writing.

Comments

[GAPDashie]

And you thought things were messed up before...

[Zailen]

This is awkward as hell, yet I am eager to see how this ends though.
I can only describe it as a train wreck that one can't help but watch in both horror and sheer awe.

[Seether00]

This is the most brilliant plan ever, Shining. Do it!

[oaxaca]

Damn, Velvet sure is dense as a black hole.

[NocturneD85]

as long as Flash doesn't end up with Twilight I'm good. Honestly, if Shining is having a problem with a stallion around his age dating his mother, then its going to be a bit the same with his little sister. I mean I might have to look at it again but why would you want to make the one that ruined your parents marriage with your sister? Still say Velvet should surprise everypony that she's pregnant with Flash's kid just to make every pony go silent and awkward.

[Ebonysdagger]

Yes, Shining and Twilight are truly two masters of romance and won't fail at this in any way.

[ibyea]

Wow, Twilight's mom is unbearable! Also, why is Cadence also blaming Flash Sentry when the ones arguing were the other two?
Anyways, can't wait to see Twilight's reaction when she finds out who her mom is dating.

[Azreale]

3086099

Oh christ, that would be a little too evil xD Oh god.

[Quinntus79]

Hmm... try to break up your mothers current romance and get her back together with your father. What could possibly go wrong?

[NocturneD85]

3088377 i know, perfectly evil. evil enough to work to knock some sense into both sides.

[Wroth]

Wow, Velvet really is trying all this and still trying to come out ahead and start all this crap?

She cheated on her husband with flash, she's an adulteress and she has no literal shame. "Not coming into" Are you serious woman? The fact that they are letting you stay there at all when you were the fault for the marriage breaking up is actually pretty decent for Shining and Cadence considering.

Not to mention trying to act like everythings normal, and that Flash should be acting like he's his father (shiny? Really?) or something of that nature just means she's quite delusional and trying to hold everything together, not even realizing what a strain she is on the family.

In short, What A Bitch.

[TheDerpyOutcast]

I would have facebooked.