Chapter 1: Exodus
Exodus
“Are you certain, Tia?” Luna asked quietly; despite her volume, her voice rang through the meeting chamber. It was a rather small affair, situated just off of the throne room--a place for meetings somewhere between the public court and the sister’s private chambers. It was ringed by marble pillars that seemed to serve no functional purpose other than to appear regal, while having the unfortunate side effect of amplifying Luna’s already powerful voice. A bookshelf and a number of cushioned seats were the only pieces of furniture in the room, which they sat in the middle of, the ring of pillars making any more economic usage of space impossible.
“Luna, I know you’re still feeling some element of discomfort, but I need your help. Hiding away won’t help your reconciliation with our people,” Celestia stated firmly, the day’s fading light casting long shadows across the small room. “And the Gala is the perfect place to start. The Council of Lords, and the chief of every bureau, large and small, will be there. It’s important that they see you standing with me, leading with me.”
“I know you are right, you usually are. Yet, I cannot help but fear. Back then, before... before I embraced Nightmare, it was all I wanted. I craved their adoration, now I fear asking for it again.”
“Didn’t my student show you the flaw of that sort of thought? The ponies of today know not of your sins, they know only of the legend. Times have changed, the stories of the past have faded into legend, I’ve made sure of that.”
Luna sighed heavily, “Not a day goes by, dear sister, that I am not reminded that ‘times have changed’. The week prior I saw a guard with unshorn fetlocks, just cantering about!” Luna smiled, giggling a little, instantly breaking the pall cast by past sins.
A small smile crept on Celestia’s face, as well. Luna had been smiling more freely as of late. It might take a few more years, Celestia thought, but soon she would have her little sister back.
“Celestia, have the other nations been made aware of my return?” Luna asked levelly, her mirth drying up as suddenly as it came.
“I have instructed the Intelligence Bureau to spread fliers to many of the border towns to the north. I am hoping that if the Griffons hear the “Scourge of Nine Peaks” has returned, they might not eye our land so wolfishly.” Celestia looked carefully at her sister, gauging her response to the name. If she had any, she gave no intimation.
“And the Zebras?” Luna inquired.
“I have not. Luna, Zudan and Equestria have been allies since they overthrew the Grey Tyrant eight hundred years ago. I am waiting for a time to tell them that will not risk our good relations.”
Luna gasped, looking as though she had been struck by lightening. “They killed Salzem? How? He was for all intents and purposes immortal, more so even than ourselves!”
“That is quite a tale,” Celestia chuckled. “Do you remember Kryssa, the young zebra that stole your tiara? Well, her great grandson--” she was interrupted as a short gray unicorn burst through the door. Panting, he quickly shut it behind him as though to seal some evil that chased him.
“Excuse me!” he said much more loudly than was necessary. “Excuse me, Princesses. Your highness,” he bowed hurriedly to Luna, then addressed Celestia, “There is a mad zebra en route to this very room. I don’t know what he wants--I don’t think he even speaks equestrian--” he was interrupted as the doors behind him flew open, knocking him to the side, admitting an out of breath Zebra into the room.
Celestia did not know what to make of him. He had clearly been on the road for some time; his coat was dusty and matted with sweat and his eyes carried a wild energy to them--they were the eyes of someone being hunted. When his gaze met Celestia’s, his face lit up in recognition, and instantly relaxed, as though some burden was lifted. He craned his neck back to a saddlebag and withdrew a crumpled note. With a flick of his head he tossed it at Celestia, landing on the floor between them. Between ragged pants he sputtered a few sparse phrases in zebrani before collapsing into a pile on the floor.
“Dotted?” Celestia asked.
“Yes, your highness?” the gray stallion intoned.
“Please take this zebra to the guest wing, and inform the nurse that he will need to be checked up on.”
“Certainly, your highness.”
The sound of crashing hooves echoed through the open door, “Stop right there, criminal scum! Nopony breaks the law on--” Two guardsponies burst into the room, which was rapidly becoming quite crowded, and tripped over the recumbent zebra.
“You two, good timing,” Dotted Line said sardonically. He looked at the zebra, “If he wasn’t unconscious before, he certainly is now. I need you two to take him to the guest wing, and make sure the resident nurse knows to check in on him.” He sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead gingerly. “I am running on distant memories of caffeine and rapidly dwindling reserves of goodwill; this incident requires no less than thirty seven pieces of paperwork to be filed, twelve heads of department alerted, and at least one press release scheduled to be postponed, so if you’ll excuse me...” Dotted stormed out of the room.
The two guardsponies collectively shook their heads, looked at one another, and shrugged, before unceremoniously dragging the zebra out of the room.
“Some things I am not sure I shall get used to...” Luna remarked.
“To be honest, Luna,” Celestia replied, “I don’t think we’ll ever get used to it.” Celestia’s horn lit up as she gently shut the doors, which had seen more than enough wear and tear for the day.
“What is it?” Luna asked, looking at the letter on the floor of the chamber.
“It doesn’t bear any seal, nor was it handled with any real care.” Celestia said, as she picked up and unfolded the letter. She began reading, “Dearest Celestia, Zudan is lost. We delved too greedily, too deep. I know not what we awoke, but it has consumed us. Evacuate your towns near the Everfree, and ready your armies, it comes for you next. Signed Kryza III, King of Zudan.”
Luna’s face went stonier than usual while she listened. The emotion that she eventually landed on was a mix of incredulity and anger. “What striped-devil trickery is this?” Luna exclaimed, lapsing into the royal canterlot voice. “Where didst we taketh the messenger? We are in need of answers.”
“Luna, please, you must put the past behind you if you are to expect the ponies to do the same,” Celestia rebuked. “The message is very vague, it makes no mention of what exactly ‘consumed them’, nor what exactly they mean by ‘Zudan is lost’. We are the only country that could assault them by land, and there is nothing to be gained by a costly invasion by sea.”
Luna, still visibly on edge, leaned in close and examined the manuscript. “It does not carry the Zudanese royal seal. We cannot be certain it actually carries royal authority.”
“Perhaps, though we both know that it is possible to forge a royal seal, that wouldn’t prove its origin either,” Celestia stated. “And even if we assume subterfuge, what good would they have in telling us to rally our armies? I’m afraid to disregard this, ponies might be hurt.”
“Are you suggesting we mobilize our armies?” Luna asked incredulously, “How long has it been since we have done that? Our people would be greatly alarmed, and it would show weakness to the griffons to the north. I do not see merit in creating an opening on our northern border just to chase some dubious phantom.”
Celestia didn’t respond immediately, instead she let her sister’s voice echo gently around her. After a few moments of thought she responded, “I agree completely.”
“You do?”
“Certainly, that is why I will lead a diplomatic mission to Zudan myself.” Celestia stated matter of factly, stressing the word ‘diplomatic’.
“What? Nonsense, I will not suffer such foolishness, sister,” Luna rebuked. “If action must be taken, we will send another. We can send the Wonderbolts to scan the area--”
“The Wonderbolts are in Vanhoover performing, they will not be back in Canterlot for a fortnight.” Celestia responded.
“Then we shall have to send a diplomat, there is no need for you to go.”
“The very reason we need reconnaissance is because of this letter, which promises imminent threat from an unknown source. I will not send a civilian to their demise, Luna, you know I will not.”
“Well, then I shall be the one to go! Was it not I who governed Equestria in matters militaristic and foreign?”
“Yes, but intelligence, Luna, was my domain; and what we need is not force; we need information. Furthermore, I think it not wise to send you to the zebras just yet. As I mentioned before, they haven’t been made aware of your return.” Celestia said, her voice brooking no argument. “I’m just as capable of a combatant as you, I will be able to ascertain what this threat is, if it exists, all the while appearing as a diplomat. No troop movements, no panic, no weakness; when I return we will see what needs to be done.”
“Very well, there is no arguing with you when you set your mind to something, Tia. I acquiesce.”
Celestia grinned softly, “And in the meantime, you must lead in my stead.”
“What? Tia, no. They do not yet trust me, they will think myself a usurper!”
“Nonsense, Luna. Now, walk with me,” she said, getting up and moving towards the door. “I have a lot of events that need my attention, and now they pass to you.”
Luna’s groan could be heard halfway to Ponyville.
She didn’t wave as her sister departed, it would be unbecoming of her station; her heart, though, followed her sister closely. She had insisted in following the small entourage to the edge of Canterlot, and continued to stand on the threshold until Celestia vanished around one of the circuitous bends on the path down Mt. Avalon.
She turned to the Unicorn beside her, who seemed quite preoccupied adjusting the chain he wore around his neck, the symbol of his office--though Luna forgot which one exactly. “Dotted, was it?”
“Yes, your highness,” he said, releasing the chain, which fell back no more even than it was before. “Dotted Hieronymus Line, Cabinet Secretary.” The phrase rang of one said many times before, and one that will certainly be said many more.
“Very well, Mr. Secretary, we may return to the castle now,” Luna stated with authority. The pair turned and departed, headed back towards the castle proper. “Please remind me, what must be done today?”
“Well, your highness, there are hoofful of laws and edicts that are being drafted that need your attention, arrangements need to be made concerning the Gala, and of course there’s the Day Court, which I’m to understand you’ll be, erm, subbing in for.”
“Myself? The Day Court?” she sighed heavily, “If ever I have heard of trouble...” Luna allowed the sentence to trail off before continuing, “When does my sister typically hold the Day Court?”
“Oh, um,” Dotted stammered, glancing to the heavens--either for strength or to measure the angle of the sun on the sky, Luna wasn’t certain. “About an hour ago.”
“So, not only will I suddenly be appearing in place of my sister, I will be doing so late?”
“It would appear so, your highness.”
“What would you advise I do about this?” Luna asked.
“Well, considering the rather sudden nature of Celestia’s absence, we haven’t had a chance to make a press release--but neither did we try to hide it. Even without the fanfare, I’m certain some ponies noticed.” The more Dotted seemed to think about it, the more his grimace deepened. “And we can’t really have you just appearing at the Court like you run... in any case it will be shocking, and ponies are a panicky people on the best of days--nobles doubly so.”
“Mr. Secretary,” Luna interjected, “I do not think any amount of ‘press releases’ would make them any more comfortable with the situation.”
“Yes, but it’s nothing we can’t handle, your highness!” Dotted’s tone clearly indicated optimism, but his voice rang a bit hollow. “This isn’t anything the Equestrian Civil Service hasn’t dealt with before. Just... reschedule the Court session, and I’ll yell, erm, talk to the Press Secretary about how we are going to handle this.”
“Very well, reschedule it for later this afternoon, say around seven o’clock?”
“Of course, your highness.” Dotted replied, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Press Secretary to badger.” Dotted proceeded to run off. Luna marveled that anypony with legs that short could move that quickly.
The library was a mess. Books were strewn across the wooden floor, lists hung from the rafters, and if that weren’t enough, Twilight’s bed was suspended upside down in the living room.
“Spike!” Twilight called, “Spike? Where’s my quill?”
A muffled response came from below a nearby pile of books, “Did you check behind your ear?”
“Ah! Found it!” Twilight cheered, “It was behind my ear the entire time! Don’t I look silly? Spike, where are you?”
The young dragon dislodged himself from the books with a groan. “You know, for such an organized pony, you sure lose things a lot.” Spike dusted himself off, coughing from the debris in the air. “And why are we freaking out again, is it a test? Did you forget to make a list--”
“Spike!” Twilight interjected, “Princess Celestia is on her way to Zudan! That means she’s going to pass through Ponyville! She didn’t even give us enough warning to get anything together!” Sweat beaded on her forehead, and her eye twitched. “And what would happen if we didn’t welcome her? She might be so insulted that she’d levy a horrendous tax on us to help pay for the psychological damage we inflicted on her! Then we’d have to slash the budget! All of it! We wouldn’t be able to afford to pay our teachers, or our police, or our firefighters! Then Ponyville would be reduced to a bunch of stupid criminal ponies stealing from burning buildings! That is why--Spike, that is why it is imperative we get a welcoming party ready for Princess Celestia before she gets here!”
At this point several veins could be seen standing out of Twilight’s temples, and the state of her mane could be described as ‘ragged’ at best. Spike, though, remained unfazed. “Alright, Twi, what’s first on the list?” Spike asked, walking over to the desk where the list lay, quill in claw.
“You stay here and... um... clean this place up. I’m going to Sugarcube Corner! I’ll need to place an emergency order of the Princess’s favorite cake. While I’m there I’ll also see if I can modify Pinkie’s Party Cannon to better suit the nature of our needs; it might be the only way, considering our time constraints.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Spike said with a sigh. “Though, one of these days, I’d like to not be the one stuck in the library cleaning up--it’s practically all I do anymore.”
“I understand that you’re frustrated, but now is not the time to discuss it--this is an emergency!” Twilight said, putting far more emphasis on the last word than what was needed. She grabbed the list off the desk with a bit of telekinesis, and started marching to the door, pleased that she always had extra copies of her all-important lists on hoof for such emergencies. Twilight reached out to the door, opening it, and rushing out--right into the rather imposing figure of Princess Celestia.
“Oof!” Twilight squeaked, falling on the library’s old wooden floor. After regaining her bearings, she looked up at Celestia, Princess of the Sun, Ruler of the Land, Steward of the Pony race, and an hour early. “P-Princess Celestia!” Twilight stammered. “Oh no. Oh no, no, no-no. You weren’t supposed to be here yet, we’re not ready!”
Celestia just looked down and smiled, “Twilight, it’s fine. I sent the letter on such short notice because I didn’t want you to overreact and try to plan anything extravagant--we’re in a hurry.”
“So, you’re not going to levy a crippling tax on us to pay for the mental trauma our lack-of-welcoming party, a tax which would render Ponyville a desolate ghost town run by a bunch of uneducated criminal ponies living in burning buildings?”
“Twilight...” Celestia said, raising her eyebrow.
“Right, Princess. Perhaps you’ll allow me to remove the hoof I seem to have placed in my mouth?” she asked sheepishly.
“Of course, Twilight. Consider your mouth now vacant of all figurative extremities.” Celestia said with a smile.
“Okay then!” Twilight beamed, “Now that I no longer have a figurative hoof in my mouth, I have replaced it with a literal question: why are you going to Zudan? This is all quite sudden.”
Celestia paused for a moment, the sun behind her head casting a brilliant corona around her thoughtful face. Twilight idly wondered if Celestia had to put any effort in looking so regal. Before she had time to begin distinguishing the variables of regalness her thoughts were interrupted by the Princess's response.
“Twilight, it has been some time since I last visited Zudan, and the zebras are a close ally of our people. I am visiting to meet the new king, and to reavow our friendship.” Celestia craned her neck back looking towards the Everfree, the vast forest separating Equestria and Zudan. “We’ve been planning this trip for months; I apologize for giving you relatively short notice on the matter--but the only reason why I chose this avenue of travel was because I have a request for you, my most faithful student.”
Twilight’s response was swift and unwavering: “Anything, Princess.”
Celestia nodded in assent, turning her head back to face Twilight’s. “I would like for you to travel to Canterlot to organize the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala.”
Twilight let out a small gasp of incredulity, “But, Princess, I’m not really any good with formal functions or parties, perhaps you should ask Rarity or Pinkie Pie?”
Celestia gently shook her head, “No, Twilight. I need you for this. Was it not due to your organizational skills that Ponyville wrapped up winter on time for the first time in generations? Don’t lose sight of your strengths,” Celestia chided her. “Regardless, I think this will be an important step for you to take in your studies--that is why I ask.”
Twilight trotted over to her calendar and glanced over it, “How long will I need to be in Canterlot? Do you have a set date in mind for the Gala? How many ponies will be attending this year? Who do you usually contract for food and entertainment--” Twilight rattled off questions in lightning-quick succession before being interrupted by her mentor.
“Twilight, all the necessary information awaits you in the castle, and if you have any further questions, feel free to ask Luna.”
Twilight, bereft of questions, seemed lost. She turned to her mentor, who still stood in the doorway, with her forehoof raised questioningly. “Princess, this is awfully short notice, is everything alright?”
“Everything is fine, Twilight,” Celestia said calmly.
Suitably relieved, Twilight smiled. “Would you like to come in for some tea?”
“I’m afraid not. We still have quite a ways to travel if we’re to cross the Everfree before the sun sets,” She said with a disarming smile. “We’re burning daylight,” she deadpanned.
After Celestia said her goodbyes, and left, Twilight turned to Spike. “Looks like we have a new list to make.”
Spike’s groan did not escape the tree, though it was quite loud.
Luna approached the large, drab building aggressively, the manner she approached most things, really. She opened the doors aggressively, and she aggressively marched towards the secretary sitting behind the front desk. “I desire to see the grounds,” she stated aggressively. The tan mare briefly shook in place as though afraid, a reaction Luna knew well. She decided to push forward. “Please tell the Secretary of Defense that the Princess of the Night requests their presence.” Luna stated.
The tan mare shook her head, her eyes again focusing on Luna. “Uh, right away your highness!” She said, then managing to bow while simultaneously leaving the room, a feat Luna had not thought possible until then.
Once again alone, Luna’s thoughts drifted to the past. The old building had been freshly built the last time she was here, but now its age showed. To Luna the past had always been an old friend, filled with fond memories and bittersweet regrets. Her return, though, had been more jarring than most realized. When she was finally released from Nightmare’s grip, she was left in a place filled with an alien past. No longer her friend of old, the past had become something so strange and abstract that she felt constantly under assault. Celestia was the only pony that understood the profound unease of an immortal out of her time. She didn’t want to think about what it would be like if she weren’t around.
The secretary either had moved quickly, or Luna had spent more time lost in thought than she realized. She returned followed by a pale green mare with a rather severe manecut, and wearing the uniform of an off-duty soldier.
“Your highness,” she greeted Luna levelly, with a short bow. “The Secretary is busy at the moment, she sent me. How may I help you?”
Luna appreciated her forthrightness and smiled a little. “I have yet to visit the barracks since my return. I wish to remedy this. Perhaps you could show me the grounds? I do not remember the building being this,” Luna paused briefly seeking the right word, “immense.”
“Very well, your highness. If you’ll follow me.” The mare said, gesturing down a side passage.
The stone floors of the building were cold and uninviting, and a shallow path was ground in the center from repeated use. Where Castle Canterlot was all marble and alabaster, form before function; the structure they were in now was much more utilitarian, a style that Luna appreciated. Plain serviceable windows lined one side of the hallway, and sturdy oaken doors on the other. Luna did not recognize, however, many of the other buildings that had been attached haphazardly to the structure since she was last here.
“The building we’re in now is the old barracks. It used to be the primary housing for the royal guard--”
“I am aware,” Luna interjected, “As you might recall, I am much older than I look,” she said reproachfully, earning a slight blush of embarrassment from her guide. “I am much more curious regarding the more recently constructed edifices.”
“There haven’t been anything added to the complex in centuries...” The guide began before realizing her folly. “Ah, right. Perhaps you should come this way then.” She said turning around and leading Luna down a number of claustrophobic corridors until one opened to a courtyard ringed by various structures of similarly various architecture and design. A number of ponies crossed the lawn, heading towards one building or another. It occurred to Luna that they could probably access most of the vast structure indoors, but the courtyard allowed for a short-cut of sorts mixed with some fresh air.
“The entire complex is sometimes called ‘the Bulwark’ because of its stodgy appearance, and the fact that it clashes so much with the rest of Canterlot; though it may not be pretty, this is the brain of the entire Equestrian military.” She began pointing at the various buildings with her hoof. “The small cluster of buildings over there,” she said, gesturing towards a number of buildings that weren’t connected to the rest, “is the Royal Military Academy, where we train our officers; the building we just left also holds a number of classrooms. The building across the lawn from us is the Command Center, where most of the ponies who run the military, well, run the military. And that building over there,” she gestured towards a rather tall building that connected the entire complex to the palace proper. “That is where we house the Royal Guard as well as the portion of the Equestrian Guard that are on duty.”
“And what of our standing armies?” Luna inquired.
“Well, we have a number of fortresses and strongholds along our northern border with the griffons that we keep well ponied, but other than that we mostly rely on the Equestrian Guard to deal with any sort of local insurrection.”
“What is your name, soldier?” Luna asked.
“Private Green Pastures, ma’am,” Green responded, standing up a bit straighter, eyes focusing off in the distance behind the Princess.
“Might I ask you a... personal question, Private Pastures?”
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied, still staring into the distance.
“What is your special talent?”
“I’m a gardener, ma’am,” she said simply.
“You’re not a soldier, why do you serve?” Luna asked thoughtfully.
“We’re a peaceful folk, ma’am. Not very many ponies have a talent for war, and, plainly speaking, ma’am, I don’t really trust the ones that do.”
“Yes, I suppose this is the case; but I asked why you served, Pastures.”
She blinked once, her eyes once again focusing on Luna, and she paused before she replied as though the answer should have been obvious, “Well, somepony has to, right? And if that somepony has to keep being somepony else, we all suffer for it.”
Luna thought about this for a moment before giving the soldier a small smile. “A truer statement I have not heard in some time. Green Pastures, it was a pleasure, however there are things that require my attention. I shall take my leave now. Goodbye.” At this Luna spread her wings and, with a strong stroke, took off, leaving a befuddled earth pony in her wake.
She headed towards the palace. The rescheduled Day Court was rapidly approaching, but first there was something that required her attention. To most it was a matter that required no thought, to most it was just something that happened. If Luna had any say in the matter, it would stay that way. She hoped her people never had to find out the answer to the question: what would happen if they didn’t raise the sun, or bring the night?
Luna landed gracefully on the balcony of the highest tower of the castle. She chose the spot for her chambers because of its unobstructed view of the night sky, she thought it important to have a clear view of her canvas. She looked at the sun as it descended closer to the horizon, feeling the bond of her sister’s spell weakening in the still air. She focused on it, tuning all else out; the spell she would cast would need to line up closely with Celestia’s spell’s fading. As the sun cast its final, most brilliant rays of light across the sky, she knew it was time. She focused on the moon, calling into her mind’s eye not only its shape, but its size, and its voice. It was something she couldn’t quite explain to another using words, but the moon spoke to her, and she understood it. Focusing on this bond, she drew on her its strength, acting as a conduit for vast amounts of magical energy.
Just then she heard a voice behind her, “Your highness, I’m sorry for the interruption, but the Day Court...” his voice trailed off briefly. “What are you doing?”
Luna spoke without turning her attention from the sky, “Spotted, was it?”
“Dotted.”
“Dotted, I am currently preoccupied channeling enough raw magical energy to literally craft the night sky from naught but will alone,” she said icily. “What is it?”
“Your highness, your presence is requested,” Dotted replied, sounding as though the end of his rope was at least five hours ago, “at the Court of the Midday Sun... and just before attending this court, you’re setting the sun. I’m certain the symbolism isn’t lost on you, as it certainly won’t be lost on those attending said court.”
“I quite simply do not care, Mr. Secretary,” Luna said matter-of-factly. “I respect you and all that you do to keep Equestria running, however what is at stake here is more than just Equestria, all of Equus depends on this. For this reason, Dotted, I do not care whether or not this act inconveniences you or me, because I will inconvenience a thousand ponies a thousand times to maintain balance for all.”
Luna looked up at her hoofwork and smiled.
“That’s a very nice sky, Luna,” Dotted said behind her.
Luna just smiled and turned her head to face Dotted. “Very well then, Mr. Secretary. Let us attend this Day Court. What is the worst that could happen?”
The sun had set, and they had not yet escaped the Everfree. The forest seemed to draw in around them, and shapes danced just outside their field of view. Celestia couldn’t tell, though, if her escorts were phased in the slightest. She traveled at the head of the group, beside her was Captain Aegis. Behind them two guardsponies drew a small cart carrying, among other things, food, tents, gifts for the zebras, should they actually make it to Zudan without issue; and magical surveying equipment. Two guardsponies drew up the rear. Celestia had chosen their number with great care: few enough to avoid undue attention, but a sufficient amount scout effectively.
“Permission to speak freely, your highness?” Captain Aegis asked, breaking the relative silence.
“Permission granted, Captain. What is on your mind?”
“We noticed the equipment in the cart. This isn’t actually a diplomatic mission, is it?” he asked, his voice betraying no emotion.
“Indeed it is not, at least not exclusively.”
“Then what are we doing?” Captain Aegis asked carefully.
Celestia figured she had left them in the dark enough. “Captain, we received a cryptic letter from a zebra messenger yesterday warning of a potential threat against Equestria. We are here to gauge the situation. The plan is to set up camp at the far edge of the Everfree, and to gather information. If we do not find anything noteworthy in a week, we shall discard the survey equipment and continue to Zudan to discuss this letter and its implications with the King.”
Celestia finished and silence once again took the throne, interrupted only by the quiet creak of wooden wagon wheels and the wildlife that surrounded them, unseen but not unheard. Celestia glanced skyward, sad that her view of her sister’s sky was mostly obstructed by the canopy above them. She hoped that sending Twilight to Canterlot was the right play to make. Though removing herself from the picture would certainly force Luna to act, she was afraid that dismantling the entirety of her support structure might lead to unforeseen consequences. Hopefully her gambit would pay off, though. Hopefully Luna would rise to the occasion, and their people would forgive her.
Celestia sighed aloud, she really didn’t like depending on so many uncertainties.
“Is something wrong, your highness?” Captain Aegis asked.
“Hmm?” Celestia intoned. “Oh, no. I’m quite fine, Captain,” she said her smile lost in the gathering dark.
Celestia’s ears perked. Something changed. There was still the creak of the cart, but no longer the sound of the forest. She she slowed to a stop, causing the cart to stop behind her. Captain Aegis looked around quickly, eyes turning to pinpricks. Something was not right. That was when the odor hit her like a punch in the snout. It reeked of iron and oil. The foul smell surrounded them quickly, settling in like an invisible fog.
“Form up! Protect the Princess!” Aegis shouted, his voice seeming unusually quiet, as though the space around them absorbed the sound. The other guardsponies abandoned the cart and began to form a circle around her.
That was when it happened. It came hurtling out of the brush beside them. It was roughly stone shaped, and rolled to a stop near the group. The device quickly began hissing and emitting a foul black smoke. It billowed around them, covering the group in inky darkness.
After that all was chaos. Metal clashed with metal, the cacophony occasionally punctuated by a scream. First Celestia used her magic, channeling a pure light from her horn. The light was eaten by the darkness around her. Another pony screamed. Thinking quickly Celestia spread her wings wide, and with a few strong beats she managed to clear some of the area immediately surrounding her.
“To me, ponies!” she yelled. Hearing her voice, three guardsponies broke through the smog, each sporting a series of shallow gashes that bled freely.
Something moved through the smoke. “Protect the Princess!” Aegis called again, his voice steel. There was a sound of metal unwinding, and something shot out of the haze. Moving quickly Aegis leapt to intercept the missile. It slammed into him, piercing armor and flesh easily. Time seemed to slow as Celestia and Aegis looked at one another. She seemed surprised. So did he.
The metal lodged in his side drew taut, and he screamed. Celestia could do little more than watch as he was dragged, kicking into the smog. After another moment, the screams stopped.
Something heavy slammed into her side, sending her to the ground. She shoved at it with a blast of magical force, throwing it off of her. With the help of her free wing, she quickly righted herself, finally getting to see her assailant. At first glance it seemed almost equine in nature, it had four legs and a head, but that’s where the similarities ended. Its flesh was warped and studded with metallic spines, and its legs seemed unnaturally long. Where its face should have been there was only a metal plate. It was hideous.
Celestia didn’t care, she blasted it with a beam of intense sunlight. It had the desired effect, the beam ripped through its body. Metal screamed and flesh sizzled, but the thing remained silent, unwilling or unable to make a sound. As it died it folded into itself. After it seemed unable to get any smaller, It shuddered violently, releasing a volley of the spines that covered its body in all directions. Reacting as quickly as she could, Celestia threw up a shield of magical force. She could feel the reverberations as each spine struck her shield. She heard another scream. Pain blossomed in her chest and she realized it was her own.
Everything lost focus, and seemed to fade from sight. She was no longer in the Everfree, rather she seemed suspended in a void. She looked around, or at least she tried. It was hard to tell if it had any discernable effect, as everywhere she tried to “look” it all seemed exactly the same: an endless sea of black. Celestia did not know what to feel, the one thing that she was certain of, however, was that she did not want to be here. She had to find a way out.
Celestia selected an arbitrary direction and began walking, or at least tried. The idea of movement lost most of its meaning when you seem to be in the same place regardless of your efforts. Suddenly she felt something tug at the core of her being. She began following this, feeling. After what seemed simultaneously ages and seconds, she saw a sort of light in the distance. As she neared it the light coalesced into a gateway. Celestia did the only logical thing to do when met with an ethereal portal suspended in an eternal void: she went in.
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Comrade, you need to tell me these things. As it stands I have to be awake in four hours to board a plane. I should be able to read this on the plane, though.
I mean really, not even a message saying you finally published it! The nerve of somebronies
2977731
Figured you'd be at the con, and this would pop up in your feed for when you had a free moment. I'd rather not get into the habit of badgering the people I'm lucky enough to be friends with. Hope you enjoy it~ and have fun at the con.
dis gon b gud
2977959
My thoughts exactly.
It begins...
I'm glad I've been such help thus far. Not sure how I feel about something of mine being described as an "epic epic," but I certainly won't begrudge the praise. I look forward to aiding you with future installments.
2977731
Which plane? Dominaria? Ravnica? Theros?
2979411
At 100,000 words, I think that it could classify as such. If you take the rest of the derivative fics set in the Elementals universe it is over 200,000 words. I've seen people bite off more than that in scope, but other than perhaps FO:E, I've never seen one of them get that far. Take your praise like a man, private twinkle toes!
2979855
Proper grammar brings glory to the motherland, Comrade!
Well, shit, did Celestia just get corrupted?
2983909
I suppse we'll just have to wait and see, won't we
?
2978299
Your comments are everywhere!
2997941
I lurk everywhere, my comments are in less places. I think it just seems that way because I'm such a big fan of yours~
Ah, Dotted Line, that name summons fond memories of reading ... and re-reading, several times ... the fic he comes from. I do hope you keep him around. *ahem*
That aside, you have a pretty interesting start here and it certainly has me intrigued and wanting for more. The political situation alone is going to be a delight to follow - with Celestia gone, unknown enemies pressing in through the Everfree, Gryphons eying the northern border and the not-quite-caught-up Luna at the helm, Equestria is in for some dark times. On the upside, should Luna pull the country through this crisis, I think it's safe to assume she will have redeemed her position in the eyes of all. Not to mention that if she was the one responsible for Equestria's military in the past, this situation might make her feel in more familiar waters than trying to navigate Day Court.
Though I do feel sorry for Luna - I can only imagine how much she will beat herself up the next morning, when her sister's Sun doesn't come up and she is forced to bring it up herself. If she hadn't opposed to deploying their military along the Everfree, who knows how things might have turned out ... now though, I imagine it won't take long before the armies are sent down there. Though hopefully she won't send them to combing the forest - from the looks of those things that attacked, they thrive on ambush and shock & awe tactics, which a dense and dark forest is the perfect stage for. Regardless, Canterlot is going to be in chaos (unless Luna keeps Celestia's disappearance a secret), and Twi better get there fast - Luna is going to need all the help she can get, especially in the early stages of her newfound reign.
And I'm certainly looking towards learning more about the horrors the Zebras unleashed in their Lord of the Rings referenced mining session. Can those things infect others as well, or can only the black mist do that? If they can ... then Equestria is in trouble, as the army that will be sent to defend Everfree may well turn out to be the source of a new scourge, unless they catch on quickly and start burning the dead and infected.
Regardless, fun times ahead ... looking towards the next chapter with anticipation.
Ah, took me long enough. I appreciate you writing this for those not Magic inclined. I apologize for not having any critiques, Comrade, but I didn't read it withthe intent to find one.
allow me to have the pleasure to reclaim the first cry of more in this story
MOAR!
there it goes
needless to say i will be following this story close and eagerly await for more chapters
P.S. you had to do it didn't you, why did it had to end in a cliffhanger?
Hello there Comrade! Thanks for allowing me the pleasure of reading through this story.
I must say that if I could sum up my experience, this would be it:
3005232
So yes, you get a
because you are teasing us about he next chapter.
<----- you.
)
Anyways as lots of other people have also enjoyed the story let me be
a douchea critic and point out a few tiny things that I thought could use some improvement:1.[dialogue] It's... well it's a little formal maybe? I just had a hard time seeing the characters actually saying some lines.
2.[development] While the prologue was fun and paced well, I thought that the first chapter was taking a long time to get started and then when it did we (the reader) go cut off from the action.
However these things did not detract too much from my overall experience and I definitely look forward to seeing where this goes in the future.
(Oh boy I'd love to see more Luna and Twilight trying to get their shit together. Also MTG stuff. Yay phyrexia!
3006000
First off: oh man. Your post was number 3006000 exactly.
Secondly:
And lastly on your critiques, they were done on purpose. Luna clings towards an archaic focus on formality, and it shows in her speech patters; it's more than just being "hard to change", she consciously prefers to use such construction as it is part of her past, her history, which as I mention in the first chapter, has a special meaning for her. Celestia, conversely, is much more casual to an extent. She still is very formal, as is expected of her station. She maintains this facade to play into the expectations of the ponies she leads. I chose my syntax very carefully for both characters, I think the reason why you had trouble, perhaps, is because both characters use non-typical sentence construction, and they are two of my three main characters.
As far as the pacing goes, I packed the entire chapter full of characterization, foreshadowing, and setting up the plot. If I took anything out, I'd think it would go by far too quickly. The next chapter begins things in earnest.
-Comrade
(Oh, and as far as chapter pacing goes, what do you guys think of the length of the first chapter? I personally like between 6k and 9k word updates, as they give me time to be deliberate with my pacing, as well as giving you guys a nice chunk of words to chew through. Thoughts?)
3006467
In that case I can't wait for more.
i158.photobucket.com/albums/t112/Ankhari/brainstormCMC.jpg
Around 6K sounds like a good amount. That way you could read a chapter a night if you wanted to.
3006467
I like 5k+ for stories with a non episodic story. 10k+ can also work, but I think your current length hit the sweet spot for this.
liking things so far. Prologue and first chapter both did exactly what a prologue and first chapter should do. Looking forward to an excellent fic.
3031449
I'm very glad you've enjoyed it thus far
!
I'm actually quite pleased with how the chapter structure came through. My advice to anyone who wants to write a fic of their own: try outlining! It let's you play around with the big ideas before you get bogged down in the minutia.
3031473
It always, always, ALWAYS shows when the extra effort of research, outlining, etc. is put into a story.
I find this quite interesting.
Do you have plans to continue the story?
3249628
Yes! I do, in fact. I have the majority of the next chapter done. I've just been frankly swamped with editing. Glad to hear the story has piqued your interest! I'll redouble my efforts to get the chapter out.
Half a book, and it's just a chapter...
The first snippet reminded me somewhat of Dwarf Fortress. ''Follow that abnormally large crystalline ore vein til it gets hollow, and you better be ready for a ride.'' Props for "dug too deep".
A metal plague? I haven't seen this before, and the closest I have would probably be Tiberium.
I'm leaning toward some eldritch horror that exchanges creatures of one dimension with those of another, though incompletely. So Eqqus gets metallic-half-ponies and the other world gets filled with fleshy-half-machines. (Plus, the otherness of the new plane's inhabitants would probably make the insurgents go berserk on any 'xenos' they found.)
Anyway, solid basis and excellent execution, I'm definitely looking forward to the rest.
3269271
Some people think I went too fast, others too slow
. All I know is that I set out to establish a lot of things in the first chapter, and I think I managed to
.
Very glad you enjoyed it
! I'm 70~% done with the next chapter—I haven't forgotten this or anything. The next chapter will be a bit shorter, I'm looking about about 4.5-5k words. I don't want to set another date only to risk missing it again
, so you'll just have to believe that I'm working on it. Being an editor causes me to be a very slow and methodical writer, and I often have trouble balancing the two
.
3269414
)
By all means, take as long as you want!
(Well, actually, don't. I want to read it sometime, after all.
I really don't care about the pacing of a story chapter-wise as long as it isn't rushed/doesn't drag writing-wise. By that regard, what you have so far falls well within acceptable bounds. The material and world-building so far set the stage for a great story, and I have confidence you'll follow up.
As stated, I'm looking forward to that update.
You ever going to finish this someday? It's been a while, and this story is really good.
3498833
Yes! Actually finishing up drafting the chapter now. Sorry it's taken so long. I'm not actually a writer, just an editor playing at writing. I have less than 1k words left to write. I'm just kind of slammed right now as far as editing goes, so I'm having trouble finding the time and inclination to toil away and finish it.
Thanks for taking the time to remind me! I appreciate it
So far, so good.
Luna's being played quite well, if a bit... Jarring.
I'm curious to see who the mystery enemy is.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I give this story a +1 to Shiny!
OFF TO ADVENTURE!