Discord's Very First Faithful Student

by Pokonic

Twilight's To Be Taunted And Teachings To Be Taught

Twilight Sparkle was under the impression that she knew every pony who came into Golden Oaks library, which was very important to her own personal satisfaction with her life. Admittedly, a small part of her had a desire for more ponies to want to come to the library, but even she knew there were times where she didn't actually expect other ponies (there were no strangers when one lived in Ponyville, after all) to walk through the door.

She also liked to think she had a mental list of all the ponies who would come through the library doors. Her friends, of course, were on the top of that list, followed by the varying tradesponies that came into it for reference texts. Then there came the influx of twenty or so ponies who arrived to the library during tax season, to look up one of her copies of Equestria's tax code, which often resulted in her spending a lot of time doing other pony's taxes to pay for the library's upkeep. Of course, the library was made a heritage site some hundred years ago, but she liked to think that she wasn't being selfish when she went through her own tax forms and checked off that she was, in fact, merely a government worker who operated a non-profit library.

To put it in layponies terms, she was quite surprised when she walked downstairs to make coffee and found a small pink filly waiting at a table, frowning at a textbook and taking bites out of a bowl of cereal.

In her kitchen.

Twilight looked at the filly, who had noticed her presence. The filly's frown stayed on her face, and Twilight could only frown back.

"Hello there." Twilight said slowly, "I am sorry, but this isn't part of the library. And the library isn't open today. Now, if you want to come back at around noon or so tom-"

"I know it isn't open today." the filly interrupted her with practiced ease, not a bit of hesitation in her voice, "The door wasn't locked."

Twilight blinked.

Diamond Tiara just stared at her, frowning.

"Arn't you a egghead?"

Twilight blinked again.

"Excuse me?"

"Are-you-a-egg-head." the pink filly said slowly, pointedly, as if she assumed that Twilight was the exact opposite of one. "Just asking."

Twilight Sparkle blinked once more, a thin frown forming on her face. "Did Spike let you in?"

"The dragon?"

Twilight forced herself to nod without doing anything else, like scream.

"No. You didn't answer my question, miss."

Twilight wasn't aware that the word miss could sound so much like slave, and as her coffee-deprived mind started to churn and twist in order to figure out what, exactly, caused a small pink filly to end up her her house without her knowledge, she suddenly realized she knew this filly.

"Who is your father?"

The pink filly shrugged her little shoulders dismissively. "He's Filthy Rich."

Twilight almost, almost, said something along the lines of 'Well, what's his name.', but then she realized the filly in her house was Diamond Tiara, which didn't actually mean much, in the long run, but there was the fact that she was in her house, eating her food.

"Filthy Rich? The owner of Barnyard Bargains?"

"Duh." the pink filly replied after another bite of cereal, "I thought a egghead like you would know the name of the richest pony in town."

Twilight put on her best grin and simply tried to ignore the fact that the filly just insulted her. That was the adult thing to do, after all, considering that she should have been angry at the fact said filly wasn't supposed to be in her house anyway, which was a far more practical thing to be upset at compared to a silly insult.

"You do need to leave, though. Don't you have school?"

The filly shook her head. "No, I don't. And I don't need to leave, I got permission."

Suddenly, however, she gave Twilight a rather unfortunate frown. "Can you help me get rid of somepony? You'r a egghead, right? You've done it before."

Twilight blinked, utterly baffled. "Uh, what do you mean?"

Some primal voice in her head was telling her to levitate the little earth pony and to drop her outside, but that urge was squashed by the very idea that somepony was telling her to get rid of someone else, and said pony who was telling her to do so was, what, ten?

"You shoot a beam of light out of your horn at things the princess doesn't like. And you moved that Ursa..." Tiara paused, in thought, "Minor with just your magic."

"I am part of the Elements of Harmony, and simply because I was taught by princess Celestia it does not mean that I just point my horn at things and-"

Diamond Tiara, to Twilight's indignation, raised a hoof in the air to cut of her words. Her words.

"I know, but I really don't care."

Impossibly, she went back to eating her cereal, acting as if Twilight wasn't even in the same room as her.

Twilight Sparkle was a patient individual. Twilight Sparkle, however, just woke up five minutes ago. Twilight Sparkle wasn't in the mood to argue with misplaced fillies who weren't where they were supposed to be.

Twilight Sparkle also knew that Spike was sleeping over at the Apple household, so the dull claw prodding at her right shoulder couldn't belong to him.

"Discord." she said. frowning lightly. "What are you doing here?"

To her own displeasure, the draconequus did nothing but teleport over to Diamond Tiara, who, curiously, Twilight noted, looked about as pleased at his presence as she did.

"This;" the demigod said with flourish, waving both claw and talon over and across the disgruntled filly on the stool in front of him, "Is my new student, Screwball!"

"It's Tiara! Diamond Tiara!" the filly grumbled loudly, giving a withering glare at Twilight. "Can't you get rid of him?"

Twilight was torn. On one hoof, Discord wasn't doing anything especially bad at the moment, disregarding the blatant home invasion. On the other hoof, he apparently also picked up a bratty filly along with him.

"Discord..." Twilight said slowly, pained, "When did this happen?"

She blinked suddenly, and a desperate, almost tearful edge in her voice started to seep through.

"Why?"

His great grey face sharpened at the ends as he smiled back at Twilight.

"Yesterday!" Discord replied cheerfully, "And why not?"

Twilight spared a glance at Diamond Tiara, who was still sitting up, hooves folded closely to her chest as her nose upturned slightly at two adults in the room.

"Does her father know?" Twilight said mildly, more concerned for the Draconequus than anything else.

The pink filly made a mild groaning sound.

"Of course! Do you deem me irresponsible, Twilight Sparkle?"

"Well, I don't think you have ever had a student before, because if you have, I would have heard of it by now." Twilight said distantly, attempting to piece together a way to end this farce before it started. "I mean, have you?"

Twilight wasn't sure if she wanted him to say yes or no.

To further confuse her, Discord just shrugged his shoulders and winked at her.

"Of course not!" he said cheerfully, "But there's no time to do something like this but the present, hmm?"

Twilight looked at the pink filly at her table, who was now giving both her and Discord glares in equal measure.

She gave the issue some thought.

It took fifteen seconds to come up with a reasonable plan.

"Well, if this is entirely approved by her father, I guess there's no technical reason why I should bar you from using the library, considering you are a friend of a friend." Twilight mused, "But I would think Celestia should know."

At that, Discord just let out a dusty belly chuckle that Twilight was almost certain had to have been practiced at some point while giving a little limp-wristed shake of a claw.

"Oh, there's no doubt Princess Sunbutt needs to know that I'm doing something with my life." Discord said, faux tears starting to form under his miss-matched eyes. "I'm just trying so hard to be good, but after all that hard time, well. it's...it's so hard to adapt to the world as it is, and I don't have any skills I could use to get a real job! Oh. the inequinity of it all! Teaching today's youth is all I have!" he sobbed out loudly, blowing his nose into a hanky that didn't exist until he needed it.

Twilight, in order to advert her eyes from the embarrassing display her least favorite friend was causing, looked at Diamond Tiara, and saw that the filly was slumped in her seat, chin on the table, and was giving her a smoldering look that could have boiled water.

In fact, Twilight mused, she was doing a rather fine job of looking uncannily like Opel when the little fiend got caught in the rain.

"I'm going to go see Fluttershy." Twilight continued, "She know's about this, right? Please tell me she does."

Discord looked at Twilight, and with sudden, eager awareness, he booped her nose with the back of his paw.

"Don't tell the little pegusus, it's meant to be a surprise." he said, tone surprisingly serious giving the grin on his face.

Twilight blinked, mostly because she was still recovering from the violation of personal space, and just shook her head.

"I won't, as long as you don't try anything."

Discord's grin stretched a little wider. "Try what? Teaching?"

Diamond Tiara and Twilight Sparkle sighed at the same time, and one would have some trouble in determining in which one, exactly, was the most depressed by his answer just by facial expressions alone.

Twilight gave a Discord tired, defeated look, one that belayed how much she was actually dreading the day to come.

"Don't destroy the library, Discord, and don't even think about touching the Elements."

Twilight was too tired to bother hiding her real issues with him in her house, but at this point she was more worried about Diamond Tiara, who was still looking at her like she was the one who didn't belong in her house.

"Does she need to study anything in particular?" Twilight said finally, going over the situation in her head,

"I have to make a report up about a period in pony history." Diamond Tiara half-mumbled into her cereal bowl.

Twilight shook her head lightly, and gave the draconequus half-floating to her right a curt look.

"What about the Age of Discord?" she said mildly. "You have a first-person witness, after all."

Diamond Tiara smiled slightly. For a few guilty seconds, Twilight almost wanted the filly to start frowning again.

It wasn't a very nice smile. Pony smiles were supposed to bring joy to others who looked at them. Diamond's smile...couldn't.

"Yeah. I guess I do. I'm going to do something that nopony else is going to do." she said slowly, indulgently, that un-smile creeping over her face. "Nopony else could do."

Discord didn't answer Twilight, but the big one-fanged grin he gave her was enough to tell her what she needed to know.

Saying nothing else as she carefully walked out of her own kitchen and, eventually, out of her own house, she paused when she heard the sound of her front door close behind her.

The morning air was chill and crisp. It was a nice day. The grass looked rather tasty. The breeze was enjoyable. On a better day, she thought, she might have been drinking her morning coffee on her balcony, making notes on the pegusi's cloud movements for cataloging. She did that, occasionally, because Rainbow Dash's attempt at keeping the weather team's records was so poor that Twilight decided that she was just going to do it herself.

Regardless, though, Twilight knew this wasn't going to be one of her better days. This probably wasn't going to be on anypony's list of better days.

After a few minutes of standing in the half-light of morning, Twilight Sparkle started to run away from her own house as quickly as her chubby legs could take her.

The first train to Canterlot would be running in a few minutes.

Comments

[nightmaster0]

Great chapter. Run Twilight run. Diamond can be quite scary at time's. Frankly the thought of what Discord might teach her is bound scare quite a few ponies. Especially the CMC.

[keaton-furman-prower]

More!

[Seether00]

Haha. Hilarious! I love your style. i wonder how soon it will take DT to ruin everything.

[Lag Incarnate]

"I have to make a report up about a period in pony history." Diamond Tiara half-mumbled into her cereal bowl.

How did I read that as "human history"? How do I keep reading it as that?

Also, Twilight should have kicked her out 5 minutes ago with her blatant misuse of grammar. Saying "A egghead" more than twice deserves an immediate ejection from any educational area.

[meme-asaurus]

"Is my new student, Screwball!"

That... Isn't very comforting.

[Pokonic]

3541045
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7683-i_like_you_lets_be_friends.gif

[DisneyFanatic23]

BWAHAHAHAHA! Screwball!

[Professor Donger]

I don't think Twilight's chubby

[MidnightFMare]

Twilight almost, almost, said something along the lines of 'Well, what's his name.'

Coffee deprived brain is poo brain.

And this is the type of thing I'd ask.

Twilight Sparkle started to run away from her own house as quickly as her chubby legs could take her.

She hass legs? i thought she had cankles... Ankle calves... need coffee...

[Rubae]

If I was Twilight, I'd go to Sweet Apple Acres and ask Applejack if she could stay there for a while/indefinitely.