Discord's Very First Faithful Student

by Pokonic

A Chaotic Conundrum In Canterlot's Courtyard

It was under the shade of the largest tree in the Everfree Forest when Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, Former Lord Of Chaos and the previous Prince of the Pandemoniumic Principalities, decided that he was bored.

All in all, it was a odd thing for him to experience, especially for a entity like himself. It wasn't that the world around him was boring, oh no, he had long realized to appreciate the little bits of chaos that thrived in the world, with all the little petty arguments and conflicts that came along with modern life (watching the daily build up of Manehattan's wagon traffic in particular was a personal favorite pastime), but rather that he couldn't influence any of it. Well, yes, he could, and he still did every so often, if only within a little corner of the Everfree Forest, but not within the limits of any place that ponies lived in. Or zebras. Or buffalo. Or anything that could ever take a breath or could sustain life, which limited his chaos-causing capabilities to Chicagoat.

Well, he supposed outer space was fun, but Luna didn't like fart jokes written with her stars and apparently making the sun and moon turn into giant eyeballs was still off-limits.

There wasn't anything physical that could stop him from doing what he wanted, really. Oh, he could whip up a storm of chaos anytime he wanted, and it would be highly unlikely that anyone could stop him. He wasn't sure if Twilight Sparkle even remembered where the Elements were (for the record, they were in a box under her bed) ,and it wasn't like they wouldn't be caught off-guard even if he did decide to make a little mischief.

No, the thing keeping him from doing anything like that again was a small pegusus the color of freshly churned butter named Fluttershy, and she was his only friend. Yes, he agreed to keep his visits to her home to no more or less than two days a week, if only to keep that blasted bunny she cares for sane, but he still treasured her company when he got it. He understood why she didn't want him around all the time, of course; she was a little pony raised under Celestia's sun, and as much as he didn't like to admit it he couldn't be "himself" around her entirely.

To make a long story short, he was bored and had run out of ideas to keep himself occupied. Luckily, there was one other he could talk to about his personal problems, because she might as well been his self-ordained parole officer and was waiting for him to try something any day now.

Humming slightly, he snapped a talon and landed gently in the place he spent more than a thousand years in stone, and began to wait.

It didn't take long.

"Discord!" Celestia said his name like it was a curse, flying out of the castle faster than he had seen her move in ages to land right in front of him, her lovely face in a slight scowl as she met his gaze.

"Celestia!" he replied jovially, a small jacket and a top hat coming into existence for the occasion of putting on a good show for the large alicorn. "Diligent as always, sorry for not making a appointment, but you know how these things work!"

She wasn't amused, as he expected, but it was worth trying anyway. "What is the meaning of this intrusion, Discord?"

He put his best puppygod face forward. "For shame, Celestia, I'm not here to cause mischief! I mean, unless you wish-"

To his delight, her face actually reddened for a split second before fading as quick as it came.

"State your purpose, Discord!" she snapped.

At that, he actually frowned. It had been a year since he was free, and as it was he had been on his best behavior. Not a single cotton candy cloud or a gummy anaconda.

Why couldn't she just lighten up?

"Actually, Celestia, I come to you with a predicament. I require your help."

That got her attention. He adored the look she had when she was befuddled, even if it had lost the same sort of magic it had held two years ago.

"What do you need my help with, Discord?" she said slowly, like she was trying to speak a new language. Or, Discord considered, perhaps it was the shock of using the word 'help' and 'Discord' without the word 'imprison' somewhere between the two.

"My dear, I am bored. Dreadfully so, so much so that, from one immortal to another, I have to ask; what do you do to pass the time?"

Celestia opened her mouth, lips upturned slightly as if prepared to unleash a witty retort on him, but they downturned when she processed the reason he was even asking.

He couldn't help but give her a winning smile.

"I see," she said, finally. "Have you have been repressing your needs as a Spirit of Chaos?"

She said it like it was a slur that she wasn't sure if she should have said, but they both knew better. It was a alien topic for her, really, dealing with something that was actually older and wiser than her, but she knew him perfectly well enough that she didn't like the idea of him. He was something that shouldn't have existed in her little perfect world, and what was worse, most of her problem solving strategies involved teamwork and group efforts. And the thing was....

The wonderful thing about being a Draconequus was that he was the only one!

"Well, Celestia,"

He paused, somewhat dramatically, before detaching a claw and allowing it to wiggle around in his palm, "I believe you can appreciate the need for me to have a need a way to pass the time that will not make me end up hereagain. I have a most awful twitchy trigger finger, you understand."

He tossed the offending appendage behind him, where it burrowed into the ground and sprouted a small him-shaped tree, bearing little multicolored him-shaped fruits from its gnarled woody fingers. It winked once at Celestia before going rigid, like trees were supposed to.

Celestia looked at the newly sprouted tree, and than at him, eyebrow raised.

"Perhaps gardening is your suit?" she said, only half joking.

At that, Discord plucked one of the little fruits off and stuck it on his single fang, causing it to wilt and shrivel. After it was shrunken to the point that none of the juice inside was left inside, he plucked it off his tooth and made a table pop into existence to put the newly made red candle.

"Alas, Celestia, that is not the case. Please, just tell me, what did you do for the last thousand years that didn't make you die of the sheer boring of your little ponies?" he said, letting a little bit of a pleading undertone seep into his voice.

The princess rolled her eyes before she paused for a moment, eventually plucking one of the fruits off the tree, nipping on it slightly.

"Juice filled wax candies. Quite cute. I should talk the chefs into trying to reproduce these. Would you mind?" she said.

Discord, in reply, frowned. He was trying to be serious.

Celestia paused for a few moments, giving the draconequus a sincerely kind look as she did.

"Well, I must say I stuck to a simple routine. I supported artists and other sorts of creative individuals, acquired a small collection of teas, tried new foods, and took young ponies under my wing."

Discord smiled a truly knowing smile. "I knew Twilight Sparkle wasn't a anomaly. Tell me, how many 'faithful students' were there before that little firebrand?"

To his surprise, a pained look overtook her face. "Fifteen."

Discord, in a moment, shared her look in hopes to try showing that "empathy" thing Fluttershy had told him about. "I am...sorry if that upset you, Celestia."

The alicorn kept that look on her face until it faded into a curious sort of faux-contentedness. "It is quite alright, Discord, it is simply that the topic of my students prior to Twilight is something I find sensitive."

He waited for a few moments to pass to let Celestia fully regain the regality she carried around like a shield before continuing, trying not to sound too interested. "What did you do with Twilight Sparkle when she was in your care?"

A morbidly curious look passed over Celestia's face before speaking. "I tutored her in magic and other things of importance to young unicorns. She was very independent from the start, but what made her special was that she didn't see me as a princess so much as another mother. However, even though I am not there every day to support her, I do continue to advise her when she asks for my assistance."

Discord's ears pricked up. "So, taking on an apprentice is like making another copy of yourself?"

This was one of those moments where Celestia wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

He treasured these moments, if only for the look on her face.

"No, Discord. She is far different than me. All I did was give her a education that would not have otherwise been available to her."

Discord cracked a snaggletoothed grin. "You did your best to influence her, I suppose? Put her on the right path?"

He liked the way her eyebrows twitched, like she wasn't sure if she should raise or lower them. It was adorable.

"Her parents were well-do ponies in my court, so she was already on the right path. As a whole, my niece had a interest in Twilight's brother, so I already knew of her magical abilities. However, she displayed magical power too great for me to leave untapped, and a pony with her abilities only comes every few generations." she paused. "I took on my other students for the same reasons."

Discord's grin grew big enough that it somehow extended behind his ears.

"So, you took on a young pony who you thought could gain something through your influence, and taught her all you could to help that inborn talent prosper?"

Celestia almost replied, but Discord, in a flash, returned to his regular, non-fancy and non-mutilated state. "Ah, thank you Celestia, that does sound lovely, and pardon me for leaving so early, but I have work to do!"

In another, far brighter flash, he was gone.

Celestia stood there for a few moments, unsure of her own actions for the first time in at least a century.

After a few moments of deliberation, she plucked another Discord-shaped fruit off the Discord-tree. Finding that it was as hard as a rock and curious about it's properties, she snapped it in half over the table that was proofed into existence a few moments ago.

A small grey teacup fell out, filled with a bright red substance.

Celestia, after a far longer period of curiosity, took the small cup, sniffed it in as dignified a manner as she could muster up, and after a little hum of approval attempted to, in quite a unladylike manner, lick out the tiny devil's food cake in the little cup.

Sighing internally, she looked at the Discord-tree, which sat exactly it the place where it's maker once sat for quite some time, in the same position, in fact, and wondered what exactly did she just do.

Comments

[Mile High]

Sounds like a good read

[Seether00]

I like the Discord antics you've got going so far.

[Pop chatters]

I can't help but wonder Applebloom should be the evil one.

Hurr durr.

[Mattricole]

This is brilliant.

[Mystic Deadman]

Don't think I didn't catch that little dig at Chicago.

[WannaBeDark]

So excited for the next chapter! Can't wait, but have fun writing it!

[Tachyon Xenophile]

This will get featured. I just know it.

[Telaros]

That was a rather fun setup. Makes me wonder how he'll approach this apprentice seeking venture of his. I wonder if Celestia will catch on to what she had just done. Rather cute to see her still ruled by her curious nature as a child of sorts would be, she's still too kind for her own good. Which is in this fic at least, is rather cute on her.

"No, Discord. She is far different that me"
Dang typos. Also, not really important, but I guess you could remove that one space in the first set of ( brackets) in paragraph two, if just for consistency's sake I suppose.

Very fun chapter. Celestia and Discord were so well characterized you'd think I just saw the opening to a S4 episode or something.

[Pokonic]

2956411

Dig? I do not dig, ma boy, I tell truths. If there is any life in Chicago that's not trying to leave it, let me know.

2964768

Thank's. My big worry with trying to write Discord post-Fluttershy is that he's a omipotent being who was apparently not near his only friend for much of a year while still being him. Celestia was a bit easier, if only because I am a sucker for Dislestia. Also cake.

[Mystic Deadman]

2965055
I wouldn't know about that, because I exist in Texas. Dallas would probably be the closest comparison.
But, to speak with that kind of clarity and certainty?

OH MAH BROTHA...TESTIFY!

[Lighting Spark]

OMG this is a very good story keep it up

[RegalBrony]

HA! Winnie the Pooh reference made me crack up!

[Telaros]

2965055 Yes, that shortcake tea was cute x3

[Soundy The Robot]

Change profile pic it scares me....

[Pokonic]

2977039 What?

As long as you stay out of my shed, it's all going to be alright.

[Soundy The Robot]

2977136 no really I'm almost afraid to go on the story because of it

[meme-asaurus]

The wonderful thing about being a Draconequus was that he was the only one!

One of Tigger's most disturbing quotes.