• Published 20th Jul 2013
  • 3,994 Views, 34 Comments

Tipping Scales - GreyAcumane

It's almost Halloween, and the internet is lit up with people claiming to be turning into ponies. Whatever, it's probably just a big viral publicity stunt. Scratch that. I'm apparently Spike now. At least I still have thumbs.

  • ...

How does Spike pee?

Opening the door to my room so I could leave took some work, but a carefully aimed leap, grabbing my doorknob, and then giving a bit of a twist and push while I hung from it wasn't as hard as I was worried it would be. Well, it was, but only because I was trying not to pee all over my own floor. I didn't even know what dragon urine was like. It might be acidic. I might end up eating through my carpet and into the floor below. THAT would be wonderful to explain to everyone downstairs.

I finally managed to get to the bathroom, hopping slightly most of the way. It was then I realized that the lid of the toilet seat was level with my chin; I would have my work cut out for me. First thing first, let's get the lid up. Easy enough. Next step; climb on up on the lid. Don't be a pussy about touching the seat, I'm practically the only one who uses this toilet, and it's flushed and the water's clean, so it doesn't matter if I fall in at this point.

Once I got balanced on the front edge of the toilet. I found a new problem. Rather, the problem was that I couldn't find it.

Yes, THAT.

I felt along the front plates of my belly, then lower, trying to figure out if there was an opening somewhere, heck for all I knew there might be a zipper under one of these scales. I seem to somewhere recall hearing that dragons were rumored to even have dual penises, but would that be one on top of the other, or side by side? Was only one for urinating, and the other for procreation, or did they both do both? I wasn't even sure how reliable those rumors were considering that another one I heard said that dragons had something like seventeen gonads. What the hell is that even about? More importantly; if they have that many more than the norm, WHY CAN'T I EVEN FIND THE ONE!?

I gritted my teeth, trying to dredge my memory for any useless piece of information that might actually give me a clue what I was looking for, all while doing my best to keep the floodgates closed. Reptilian biology was not my strong suit. I would have to google that stuff once I got past this initial hurdle.

I sighed, finally admitting defeat. I stepped down into the toilet, the water in the bowl coming up past my knees to touch where the base of my tail met my hips, and leaned forward just a bit. then I just relaxed and let it flow.

Apparently that was part of the problem. Not relaxing was keeping my body in defense mode, tightening up the scales around the crotch to protect the member from being harmed. Once I relaxed, things parted, everything flowed out in a steady comfortable stream. I straightened up a bit, so my crotch was a bit above water level, allowing me to see how the stream angled out. The tip of the member barely poked out past the scales while this was happening. This was both vexing and a relief. On one hand, there was only one penis to deal with, and it wouldn't be this huge ol' dragon dong flopping around. On the other hand, I was a bit annoyed at the... considerable loss of length and girth. I hardly fancied myself porn star, but I had been comfortably secure in my average size, and this simply did not measure up to that.

Still, baby dragon body, can't expect anything impressive from it. Heck, that type of things shouldn't even be getting considered right now, though I have absolutely no idea what sexual maturity is for a Dragon, Usually an extended lifespan meant that the age before puberty was longer too. As I considered this, I wondered if this counted as child molestation, but I was pretty sure that this was a clinical observation. Also, at least for the moment, this was my own body.

I considered the oddly colored fluid that filled the bowl of the toilet and swirled around my legs. It didn't seem acidic. At least it wasn't acidic to me, but I had seen the episode where Spike did a belly flop into molten lava, so I couldn't be certain this wasn't just natural resistance from his scales. I grabbed one of the fake plastic flowers that sat on the counter to the sink and swirled it around in the toilet bowl, specifically in the areas that the dragon urine swirled. After pulling it out, the flower seemed unharmed, other than a being fairly saturated in the rather pungent smell.

I wrinkled my nose and held the flower back in the water while I flushed the toilet, allowing the rush of water refilling the bowl to rinse off my legs and the flower, before I sat it on the counter of the sink to dry. Once I was satisfied that I no longer had dragon urine clinging to me, I hopped out of the bowl and grabbed a towel to dry off with. Now that the emergency was dealt with, I was better able to concentrate on actually coming up with a plan of action.

First of all, I needed to go check all those various stories online about pony transformations. If I just turned into Spike, then this wasn't a hoax. Of course, I'd need to tell my fiance what is going on too. I wasn't too concerned with being in Spike's body, since my mind was still obviously mine, and I still had thumbs so I could use my computer- I'd have to check and make sure I could hold my game controller and mouse right in order to play games. I'm not sure how the smaller hands and lack of pinkie would affect my gaming. Wait, fiance, yeah, I wasn't sure how she'd take this whole situation. Would she believe me, maybe I should hold off on telling her until I know just a LIIIIITTLE bit more.

Oh crap, what about Spike? If I'm in his body, then he must be in mine. I sleep naked. He's going to be me, naked, in Equestria. Oh god, I hope they don't air that episode on the Hub. No wait, they'll probably just do one of those gags where contrived circumstances cause things to constantly pop up on screen, covering the naughty bits from the sight of the viewer, until he finally gets some clothes. I chuckled at the skit playing out in my head, similar to a M*A*S*H episode I had seen. Heh, Rarity will probably demand to make his clothes, insisting that he wait, naked, until she's done making him a full gala ready outfit, when he would have settled for a simple kilt or loincloth.

She'll probably stick him/me in a dress too. That'll be hilarious. I don't think I'd even mind being the fall guy for that one if it made a half way decent episode. No wait, even if it's just my body, that's still a human in Equestria. Ugh, no thanks. They don't need humans, and I'll be damned if I let my body be the excuse for Hasbro to start screwing the series over with that type of bullcrap.

I closed the door to my room after I came back in and used the stairway I had made in my dresser to climb back up to bed. I carefully turned off the video before I came into view of the screen though. I sat down in front of my computer and pulled the headset back over. The lack of proper fit made more sense now, it was shrunk to its smallest size, but my head was still too small for it. As I put on the headset, I could already hear my fiance badgering me for answers.

"Hey! Why aren't you answering? What happened? Where did your video go? I'm getting worried!"

"It's okay, Angel, I'm here! I'm fine, I just stumbled getting out of bed. I was tangled up in something. I'll check what is going on with my video, but I have a lot of work to do tonight and I need to get moving on that right away. I don't think we're going to have time to talk tonight."

I melted as she pouted into the screen.

"But I miss you," she mumbled.

"I..." I very nearly turned the video back on right then and there, but I didn't want to dump this on her without some sort of explanation, and there wasn't really anything she could do to help, "I miss you too, Angel. So much. I promise, we'll find some time to talk tomorrow, and I'll tell you all about this crap going on. I love you, but I HAVE to get this stuff dealt with now."

She sighed in acceptance; "Alright, but you tell me EVERYTHING tomorrow. I hate telling you all about my day, then barely knowing about anything that you did."

That was true, I didn't really share much of my own life, but very little of my day was spent not working at a fairly monotonous job, or working on various conceptual projects that didn't really involve any major interaction with other people. I shared everything of note that I could think of, but on an average day of barely interacting with people on any personal level, it didn't require a lot of time to summarize my typical day.

"I promise. It should be... pretty interesting to tell you about too. Plus I'll definitely need to show you. I hope we get good video quality."

"Me too," she agreed, "Hey. 6S."

I smiled, it was our own special term that I had come up with. It stood for 'Stay Safe Sane Strong Smart & Sexy' and we later realized it also sounded like 'success' when said out loud.

"Yeah, 6S2U2," I answered, "gonna hang up now. See you tomorrow. love you."

"Love you too, oh, and hey. Happy Halloween."


"Yeah, the office was all decorated and covered in fake cobwebs and other lame decorations."

"Oh, that's right, with the Calendars all goofed up I almost forgot. Yeah, Happy Halloween. You take care."

"Yeah, you too."

She leaned in closer to the screen and kissed at it. I held the mic a little closer to my mouth and made a smacking sound with my lips that was supposed to sound like a kiss. Having scaly lips made that turn out kinda weird though. I sighed and hung up the call before I could do anything else that would compromise my change in "me"-ness.

I had a lot of research that I needed to get done. I needed to find out why this was happening, see what methods there were to reverse it, if any, or how long it was expected to last, see what happened to my old body, find out if there was any way to get in touch with Spike, or anyone from Friendship is Magic for that matter. I needed to watch back over the episodes to relearn anything important there might be to know about Spike...

"Halloween..." I mused to myself.

I looked down at my small, adorable, purple and green body. Screw that, I needed to call off work; I had some Trick or Treating to do.