Cause, Effect, and Consequences

by Coltsguy

Can I Get a Handout?

"I still think that you and I are a lot alike even if my current demeanor is a bit intimidating."

"O-okay," Fluttershy responded.

She was talking too quietly for me to hear normally. Thankfully, I had a way around that thanks to my magic amplifying anything she said to me. It took a bit of work to get that done, but getting to hear her is worth the time.

You see, normally, as I found out, Fluttershy has been avoiding me since my size is imposing to her and I don't qualify as part of the normal animal kingdom to her. Without the thought of me being an animal, she is reverting to her normal mannerisms around anyone she thinks is physically intimidating. It's almost like we haven't ever interacted with each other. It felt to both of us like things just weren't the same since I came back. Hell, she nearly bolted completely when I appeared in front of my house.

Heh, I realized that I didn't get to eat when I got back. I heard her give off an 'eep' and I went straight into calming her down. It didn't take long, thankfully, but like I said she seems to have regressed to quiet caution around me. At that time, I switched the sign on my door to let people- er ponies, know that I was headed into town for a bit. I managed to get Fluttershy to head into town with me, but unfortunately I've barely gotten her to say dozen words to me on the way.

Like I've said before, Fluttershy is the pony I most identify with. Neither of us like being around groups of people. However, get us on a subject we like and we can really get into the flow. At least that's how I view her. But I digress...

I pretty much spent the short trip to Ponyville with her in bouts of silence and awkward explaining that I was like her. Honestly, I bet it probably creeped her out a little. Some guy you barely know starts walking along side you and says that they're practically you isn't exactly something endearing.

"Well, it's been, um, nice walking with you, but I need to head to the park to make a house call with some of the squirrels that live there."

"Okay. I could help with that if you want?"

"Oh no. It's alright. I don't want to scare the poor little dears. Oh! Not that you're scary! I just mean, um-"

"It's fine," I cut her off. "I understand that I'm a bit intimidating with my size. I'll just... go get something to eat at Sugarcube or something."

It looked like she was going to say something else, but she didn't and instead turned and continued on her way. I think I understood, but it didn't feel any less depressing when she did it. I couldn't-

Wait a second. I think I forgot something.

"Hey Fluttershy."

She had gone a bit of distance, but still heard me and turned around.

"Sorry to ask, but were you meeting with Discord today?"

"Um... no, I wasn't."

"Okay," I said projecting a calm demeanor. "I was just checking."

She gave me a brief smile before turning around again and heading on her way. That dirty little bastard Discord lied to me. I knew he would. At this point it's just trying to figure out when he's lying and when he's trying to be helpful. Fuck it. I told him I would get him back for that 'training trip' and this just gives me time to think up something better anyway.

My growling stomach reminded me that I still hadn't eaten yet. My, well conversation isn't really the word for it. My stroll with Fluttershy had distracted me from going inside to eat. I was almost ready to teleport home when I saw Sugarcube Corner in the distance. I ironically did say that I was going to head there to Fluttershy and it was also the only eatery I knew of in town let alone probably had something on the menu I knew I could eat. Therefore, I disregarded going home and made my way there.

It took me a couple of minutes at my sedate pace to make it there. Just like every time I was there, or so it seemed, the place had no ponies other than the ones behind the counter. Was that just how it went or were the ponies avoiding me like the rain? I wouldn't really be all that surprised if it was the latter. I was beginning to notice less and less ponies around wherever I went. Perhaps they've begun to give me the Zecora treatment. Perhaps I should try utilizing my invisibility spell more often to make sure that the ponies could go about their business without my interference.

I decided to table those thoughts for later as I strode over to the counter. As I arrived, I found it conspicuously unmanned. I knew from past experience that you never leave a counter unattended. It gave customers the impression that they're unwanted. I'd also mention that it helps to prevent theft, but I don't think that's a real issue here. A quick look around revealed no one I could see. However I did find a bell to ring for service. I suppose that made sense. If they had to bake more good or step away for some reason, plus there were only three ponies who worked there total, then it was a must have item for their business. I dropped my hand on the bell and waited.

...For less than half a second as Pinkie Pie sprang up from behind the counter with a loud 'Hi!' Yeah, that spooked me pretty good.

"Where the heck did you come from?"

"From the back of course!" she answered with a cheery smile.

"But you just popped up from behind the counter," I pointed out.

"That's right!"

"And it took you half a second tops," I added.

"It's not nice to keep a customer waiting."

"But- that- it- sigh,"I spat out in resignation.

I have no idea why I was trying to make sense of that. It's a classic gag. You don't mess with gags or try and figure them out. They're not meant to be understood. They are there merely to be enjoyed.

"So what brings you here? Did you want a cupcake? Or maybe a pie? Oh! I know! You came to get some truffles!"

I tuned her out a bit as she continued to list off some items. She had a point at the beginning of her rant. What did I want? I didn't really go there with anything in mind. What was I really in the mood for? Well, bacon for one but they don't sell that here. There was no way I could have a cinnamon bun either. Damn, I really needed to reevaluate my food choices while I was here. Hell, probably in general too. Other than bread what would I really get at a bakery anyway?

"Oh how about some yummy cream puffs? No, I bet you want some doughnuts!"

"Heh, doughnuts are pretty good," I stated when I came out of my thoughts.

"I knew you would want some doughnuts!" Pinkie exclaimed; jumping into the air.

"Then why did you list off all those other foods?"

She looked left and right and then leaned in towards me.

"I did it to throw the other off the trail," she whispered.

Perhaps I need to turn on the Pinkie section of my brain to get this.

"I'll get started on those right now! And I can make a brand new sugar free version just for you!"

Before I could say anything, all that was left of Pinkie was a pink contrail heading into the kitchen. I've always felt like doughnuts aren't the same without real sugar. The few I've tried just don't taste the same. With that thought in mind I decided to head into the back to stop Pinkie from making them.

Only to be stopped at the swinging doors by said pony.

"No peeking!" she yelled sternly.

Before I could even respond, she drew down a curtain that covered the doorway. I was thrown for a moment and then rolled my eyes and drew up the curtain with a tug of my magic. What I wasn't expecting after that was the brick wall that was erected behind it. I honestly couldn't believe she had done it until I felt it with my bare hands.

Actually, this gave me an opportunity to try something I had been thinking about off and on. You see, whenever I use magic in some form I have to focus and use some kind of medium to make it work. By that I mean focusing through my hand or snapping my fingers or in the instance of my invisibility spell I focus on my entire being. Discord didn't seem to have that limitation with some of his antics like the time he plucked his own eyes out and rolled them like dice or when he messed with Angel by pulling a carrot out of his ear that turned out to be his fang. I wanted to know if I was capable of the same feat. I limbered myself up, bounced on the balls of my feet a few times, and grabbed at the brick wall...

...And watched as I ripped it away like wrapping paper. I had literally turned the wall of bricks into a doorway of wrapping paper with a brick pattern. I looked at the paper in my hands for a moment in shock before looking back at the doorway. Pinkie Pie was looking back at me a bit angrily.

"I said no peeking!"

Leave it to Pinkie Pie to take something like what I did in stride.

"You keep running off before I have a chance to tell you anything."

I lifted her up with my magic and set her down in front of me.

"First, I didn't say that I wanted some doughnuts. It was still nice of you to think of making them without sugar just for me."

"Of course! I wanted to make sure that you enjoyed it to the yummiest, fullest, tastiest, healthiest amount that you could!"

"And I'm grateful for that. The other issue is that I don't have any way to pay for them. Celestia is paying for the place I'm staying in, but she isn't giving me any bits to pay for the things I might need."

"Don't worry about it mopey manny. I'll send a bill to the princess for you!"

I mouthed 'mopey manny' before answering her.

"I don't think that Celestia is going to appreciate getting a bill for my miscellaneous expenses. Even if she doesn't mind, I still think that there are things I would rather buy on my own. Of course, that means I'll probably have to look for a job. I'm not even sure that I have any marketable skills for anyone around here."

"Well, you can always help out here in the kitchen!"

"Thanks for the offer, but the only two things I can make well are scrambled eggs and taco meat. It would take too long to get me up to speed. I need to find something more my speed. Besides, hanging around here would tempt me way too much to just start snacking on things."

"Oh believe me I know what you mean. I loooove trying out everything I make. It's the best part of baking!"

"What to do?" I asked to myself quietly while Pinkie looked on. "What could I do?"

I closed my eyes and thought hard. What would be a good fit for me? I can't do fieldwork. I'd scare away ponies as a salesperson. Sales here are done per- er, dammit, I mean pon- you know what? I'll just say face to face. Because they do things that way, they don't need someone to be a cashier. Maybe I could be a mover? No, that would require me to travel and I'd like to stay in an area that I can recognize at least a little.

Wait, something's coming to me. I remember Rarity offering me a job. Yes, she wanted me to work at her boutique when I demonstrated my abilities during the mass humanizing incident last year. If she is still keeping that offer on the table then it just might solve my problem.

"Hey Pinkie! Are ya-"

I opened my eyes and was about to turn towards the new voice that had abruptly cut itself off but stopped before I had a chance to begin. The reason why being that Pinkie Pie was standing on two feet in front of me holding a megaphone in her right forehoof while holding a huge breath in. I had managed to catch her right before she had blared her voice at me. I just seemed to keep being the target of these 'pay attention' jokes didn't I?

"Oh, uh, hey there partner. Didn't expect ya tah be here."

I turned away from the misfired gag to talk to Applejack. She, however, was slightly fidgety and looking a bit off to the side. Something was definitely wrong there.

"Hi there Applejack. Did you need Pinkie for something?"

"Yeah," she spoke hesitantly. "Um, I needed her fer some, um, baking tips! Yeah! I'm tryin' out some new recipes and ah wanted tah see if she'd be willin' tah lend a hoof with it."

Wow. I almost had a convulsion over how much that reeked of lies. What would she possibly be hiding from me? Oh! I had almost forgotten about my missing game. No, that can't be it. Can it? I mean, that would take a plane to get over that leap of logic. And yet, something tickling in the back of my brain was saying that it was the truth. Why though? Is it because I already know about the joke and this way I can help perpetrate it even farther? Oh man, I hate how that makes so much sense and yet no sense at all.

"That's fine. I was done here anyway."

"But what about your doughnuts?"

"Maybe later Pinkie. I need to talk to Rarity about something first."

I walked past Applejack as she walked over to Pinkie Pie and as I reached the front door, I paused. It was strange. It was as if I felt like I needed to say something. I realized what pretty quickly. I turned my head towards the two of them and left a bit of a, for some reason to me funny, parting remark.

"Hey, if either of you see Twilight tell her I'd like my game back alright?"

Oh the look on Applejack's face when I said that. It was almost terrified. In an oddly comical way.

"Uh... sure. I'll do that," she said hesitantly.

I walked out laughing on the inside.

Comments

[D48]

Heh, the chaos is coming, and it will be glorious.

[Zero3451]

Still no sign of any antagonist.

Seriously when are we going to see the villain of this story.

[OMGbeta]

Twilight broke it.

LOL

[Coltsguy]

4974850 Even I'm not sure when one will show up. And I've got the story right here!

[Zero3451]

4975515 Do you have an idea of who or what the antagonist is.

Can you give me a hint.

[Coltsguy]

4975662 I'll admit, there might not be an antagonist until late in the game and I haven't even put him in the story yet. It's one of those unseen antagonists. Trust me when I say that there is one, but you won't hear about him until near the end of the story. There is a reason why there hasn't been any activity from him either, but I'm not sure if the reason will end up in the story or not. I will have an entire chapter dedicated to revelations. I've got dialogue typed up and everything. It's in my 'story ideas' documents on my computer where, obviously, all the ideas that went into creating this third and most likely final volume of Cause and Effect are stored. Short of me dying or being physically incapable, I will bring this story to a somewhat abysmal satisfying amiable conclusion.

[kotor511]

I like the story as it is, continue please.