Throughout my life, I was never happy and always felt lost. But last summer, I had the wonderful opportunity to be happy for once. I had the wonderful opportunity to have people-or ponies who care about me. I had the opportunity to live in Equestria
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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hmmmm... way to fast paced. lacks MANY MANY details and lacks...a bit more backstory aswell asplot point. i mean it's like someone working of a quick idea with noone to help them.
it's good for a first attempt but have someone with abit more experiance help you. the idea is solid. many HIE stories are great but this one seems generic. plain. and bland....kind of like store brand flat soda.
a bit fast paced, with very little detail, your basically telling us the story rather than showing it
also becoming instant friends with the primary protagonists of MLP, especially if its done in a single chapter is overdone
2802950 However much I agree it is fast paced, I must also say that making friends with half or all of the main 6 in one chapter does sound like them, I mean they live in a world where, for the most part, it's very easy to make friends and everyone is very nice and kind.
hummmm a ok setup chapter
No
fucking human into pony bullshit. fuck this shit.