> My Time in Equestria > by AFR0xGoD > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > 1. My Life as I Knew It > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My name is David Taylor. I don't know if anyone will believe me, hell, I doubt anyone even cares. No one has ever cared about me. Well, not in this world anyway. Listen to me ramble on, I probably sound like a psychopath. What I'm about to tell you is the truth. The truth of the wonderful events that happened to me last summer. The truth of how I lived my most longed for dream. The truth of how I traveled to Equestria. It all started last summer. I had just gotten out of school and it was nearing my birthday. Unfortunately, I couldn't be excited because the last day of school was the most humiliating day of my life. I wasn't the most popular kid in my grade to begin with. You know, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it; I had no friends. I was really antisocial and pretty small and scrawny for my age. People made fun of me all the time, but my school wasn't going to do anything about it of course. My high school doesn't exactly have the best disciplinary system. And the fact that it's filled with judgmental stuck up jerks of people didn't help my situation. But anyway, I was a brony, but not hard core 100% proud of it. I was a closet brony, and I was more or less ashamed of it. I never wanted anyone to find out. Our washing machine hadn't been working for a while, so the only clean shirts I had were pony shirts that I only wore around the house because no one was ever home. It was the last day of school, so I didn't really have a choice, I'd just wear a jacket over it so no one would notice. It all went smooth until fifth hour: P.E. Being the idiot I am, I forgot I had on my pony shirt when we changed into our uniforms, so when I took off my jacket, it didn't take long for the douchebag jocks of my class to notice. "What the hell? Haha! Check it out guys, Little Davey watches my little ponies!" said one. "Holy shit, I knew you were weird, but you're a horse fucker too? This is hilarious!" said another. "Called it! I knew he was gay! Johnny, you totally owe me that 20 dollars we bet on!" said another. I just stood there, not knowing what to do. "I-I don't watch My Little Pony..." I said weakly. "Haha! Yeah right! Look guys, his face is red! Someone record this!" I looked around as all the guys in the locker room laughed at me, save for one quiet kid who never said much anyway. He just continued to get dressed as if nothing was happening. I couldn't handle the abuse of it all. I got dressed as soon as possible and went out to P.E. hoping to avoid them all. It didn't work of course, they followed me and mocked me the whole class period. And it just got worse. Throughout the rest of the day, more people than usual shoved me and punched my books out of my hands. They laughed hysterically as they said, "Brony!" and walked away. I couldn't handle it all. I could not wait for the final bell to ring for summer vacation. Until that precious moment came, I was being bullied by the same people, over and over again, unable to do anything about it. I walked home that day, alone as usual and more depressed than ever. I had came home from school feeling like crap before, but this was a new low. I was utterly sad. I didn't have anyone to console me, either. No friends...no friendly people...not even my parents. But that wasn't new, they were never home. Always working with no time for family. Or so they say. I sulked into my room, closed the door, and threw my backpack on my bed. I followed suite and plopped myself lazily on the uncomfortable mattress. I looked at the ceiling, just thinking about my life. No friends. No parents to love me and be here for me. No joy in life. Why am I here? Why is this me? Why? I thought for a while, even thinking about my dad's guns in his closet. It's only one bullet...I don't see why not... Who am I kidding, no one would miss me anyway. I rolled over and saw my laptop. Maybe some MLP will make me feel better. Might as well. It's not like I have anything else. Over the next few days, I started watching a lot of My Little Pony. I had always loved the community more than the show, so I had only seen a few episodes, but now that I was truly sad for the first time in a very long time, I finally appreciated the happiness and perfection of the colorful pony world, and I wished so badly to have the opportunity to live there. Away from all the judgment. Away from all the pain. By the time I was halfway through season 3, it was the night before my birthday. I almost forgot. The only thing that reminded me was the calendar on my laptop that sent me a notification every time it was close to my birthday. I was nearing the end of "Wonderbolt Academy", when I suddenly got unnaturally tired. I could hardly stay awake for the conclusion of it. The ending of this episode seemed a bit strange, and at the time I thought I was just imagining things from being tired, but now I know it wasn't a hallucination. The thing that seemed strange was that Princess Celestia suddenly appeared. I hadn't seen the episode before, but I was fairly certain she wasn't supposed to be in it. Where it seemed like the episode should've ended, Celestia just looked straight at the screen and said, "I know what you have been through. All of the challenges through your life. All of your worries will end by morning." And then it ended. When the credits finally rolled, I turned off my laptop and jumped into bed, thinking about what I just saw. "It was probably just my imagination." I said to myself, but yet... It felt so real, and after the episode I felt so happy, like I was finally going to be taken care of. Like I was finally going to have someone who cares. I drifted to sleep, dreaming of Equestria and all of the happiness that came with it. > 2. Arriving in Ponyville > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I awoke the next morning, I immediately noticed I wasn't in my bedroom anymore. I also noticed I wasn't in a bed at all. I was laying on the ground, and my whole body was aching. Through my hazy vision I could see the sunlight barely seeping through the canopy of the dense forest. Wait...Forest? "Ugh, where am I?" I groaned. "Oh my! Mister, are you okay?" I heard a quiet female voice ask frantically. "Ugh, what happened?" Not entirely sure who I was talking to. "I was out here gathering berries when I heard you tumble through the branches of a tree. You must have fallen out of the sky. Did you fall asleep while flying?" "While flying?" I asked, completely confused. I could now see clearly, but my neck ached too much for me to turn my head to see who I was talking to. "Um...yeah. You must have fallen asleep while flying. Are you okay?" "I don't know..." I said. I tried to turn over on my stomach with no success. "Do you need help?" The girl asked. "No, I'm fine." I replied, though not entirely sure I was. I finally flung my arms to one side causing me to flip onto my stomach. My vision must've still been a little blurry because I swear my arms seemed white for a moment. I put my hand on the ground to lift myself up, but then I slipped and fell. What the? I put my hands out in front of me and realized that I don't have hands anymore. I have hooves. My heart suddenly started beating a thousand times faster. There's no way this can be happening. I thought. I looked down at myself and noticed I was covered in white fur. This can't be happening. I took one of my hooves and gently touched my long white snout. It is. The biggest smile grew across my face as I lifted myself up once more, now standing shakily on all fours. I'm a pony! "Um...are you okay? You seem a bit...happy?" The girl asked. I turned my head to see Fluttershy standing there with a concerned look on her face. "I feel fantastic!" I said. I tried walking and immediately fell again, just like a newborn calf learning to walk. I couldn't help but laugh. Was this really happening? Was I really a pony? I got up again and unsteadily turned my body to face Fluttershy, my legs still wobbling. "Are you okay to walk?" Fluttershy asked me. "I honestly have no idea!" I said to her, still with a huge smile plastered onto my face. "Well, you seem a bit bruised up. I have some things back at my cottage that could help the pain." "Yeah that would help a lot." I said. I was still incredibly sore. "Okay, follow me." I started to sort of awkwardly walk next to Fluttershy back to her cottage. I tripped every few steps and I had absolutely no walking pattern whatsoever. She looked at me strangely a few times like I was a psychopath. And honestly, as happy as I was to discover that I was suddenly a pony, I felt like one. But it felt incredible. When we finally made it to her cottage, I stepped inside and was amazed. It looked exactly like it did on the show. "Wait here, I'll be back with a special medicine I use for numbing pain." Fluttershy told me. She walked into another room while I was left to marvel at everything in the room. There were so many animals. I took another look at my hooves. I was definitely white. I looked behind me and noticed I had a black tail with red streaks in it. I also noticed one other thing...I HAD WINGS!!! I had always loved pegasi, and now I am one. This is going to be the greatest day ever, I can already tell. Fluttershy finally came back with a spoon that had a green liquid in it. "Here, drink this." Not really sure how to take it from her, I kind of just took the spoon in my mouth and drank the liquid. It was the worst thing I had ever tasted in my entire life. I spat out the spoon, but not before swallowing the medicine. Fluttershy giggled, "I know, it tastes bad, but it does the trick." It turned out she was right. A few minutes later I didn't feel any pain at all. "I feel so much better. Thanks, Fluttershy." I said. "Um...how did you know my name?" "Oh, uh...I've heard about you from other ponies about how you care for a lot of animals in need." I said, hoping she'd believe me. "Wow, I didn't know I was that well known." Whew, I dodged a bullet there. I have to remember that no one...no pony here knows I'm a human that watches their adventures like it's some sort of children's TV show. "Well, if you don't mind me asking, what's your name?" Fluttershy asked. "My name?" I never thought about making a pony name before. I never even made an OC, so I didn't really need one. I needed to make one up fast. One that sounded good. "My name is White Flash." I said. Damn that sucks. "Oh, that's a nice name." "Uh, yeah, I was named after my great-great grandfather." "So...where were you flying to when you fell?" "Oh, um I was just flying around. I've been wanting to move and I was looking for a place to live." I was spitting out lies left and right. "Well, you crashed in the right place. Ponyville is a very nice place to live." Fluttershy smiled, "Everypony is friendly and there are plenty of houses for sale." "I'll check it out." I said, "How do you get to Ponyville from here?" "Oh, I'll come with you, I've been needing to go to the market to get some animal food anyway." Fluttershy led the way out of her cottage and we started down the road toward Ponyville, but not before she said goodbye to her animals. I could barely walk straight from all of the excitement. I am a pony ... I am walking with Fluttershy ... To Ponyville ... Buck yes... We walked down the dirt road as Fluttershy told me everything that I already knew about Ponyville. "Oh, you're just going to love it here in Ponyville," Fluttershy said as we walked, "It's such a fun place, and you won't find a mean soul anywhere! It's-" "Look out below!" A voice cut Fluttershy off, and I suddenly got knocked to the ground and tumbled about ten feet backwards. I felt really dazed and I could actually see birds flying around in my vision. Living in a cartoon is awesome. I shook off my dizziness and looked over to see none other than Rainbow Dash rubbing her head. Oh my God, it's Rainbow Dash. "Ugh, sorry, I guess I still need to work on that trick, heh." Before I could even get to my feet, Rainbow bolted over to me and looked me in the eyes. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?" "Um..." I tried to reply. "Rainbow Dash, this is White Flash. I found him injured in the Everfree Forest so I helped him and now I'm taking him to Ponyville to look at some houses for sale." Fluttershy explained. "Uh, yeah. What she said." I said with a nervous smile. I'm talking to Rainbow Dash! "So you're thinking of moving in? Great! It'll be nice to have another Pegasus around here." She said with a smile. "Uh, yeah." I said, and finally got to my feet. Rainbow Dash stared at me for a few more moments with a look on her face that I didn't really recognize, and then she suddenly turned her gaze forward as she trotted down the dirt road. I just stood there surprised. Rainbow Dash is exactly how she is in the show. I was still standing there until Fluttershy had to snap me out of my trance. "Um, White Flash? Aren't you going to come along?" She asked. Her and Rainbow were already ahead of me while I was standing there. "Yeah, really! C'mon!" Rainbow Dash yelled. I galloped over until I caught up with them, and we started walking. The three of us continued down the road toward Ponyville. As we walked, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy started telling me all about the adventures they'd had in Ponyville with their friends. I already knew about most of them from the show of course, but I wasn't going to tell them that. I was ecstatic to even be talking to them. "So how'd you end up in Ponyville anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Well, I was flying around looking for a place to move to, when I guess I felt so exhausted that I just kind of...passed out over the Everfree forest and I fell." I said, going with Fluttershy's story. "Well, you're lucky Fluttershy was there to find you. The Everfree forest isn't exactly the best place to pass out in the middle of." "No kidding." I said. After a little while, we finally arrived at Ponyville. I don't know why I was so surprised that it looked the same as in the show. It was painfully colorful with cottages, shops, and ponies everywhere. And it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. "Well, here we are!" Rainbow Dash said, "The wonderful little town of Ponyville!" "Looks nice." I said, trying to contain my enthusiasm. On the inside, I was bouncing off the walls and exploding into a blaze of brony excitement. "Yep," Rainbow confirmed, "It may not look like the kind of top-of-the-line place to be, but it's pretty great." She flew a few feet into the air and looked around. "Now lets get looking for some houses!" Fluttershy and I started walking further into the town, while Rainbow Dash flew higher in the air with her hoof above her brow. "Where to look, where to look..." Rainbow started, "There's that house at-Hey there's Twilight!" Rainbow Dash yelled, and zoomed over to a confused Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash had to practically shove her toward Fluttershy and me until she finally knew what was going on and started walking toward us. "Twilight, this is White Flash." Rainbow said with a giant grin, obviously eager to introduce us. "Hi there, White Flash, I'm Twilight Sparkle. It's nice to meet you." Twilight smiled. "Likewise." I said. I looked at all three of the ponies. I'm face to face with Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy right now. I just can't even. I can't. "So what brings you to Ponyville?" Twilight asked. "I'm looking for a good place to live, and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash say there's no better place than Ponyville." "Well I know of some houses for sale, but the cheapest one is 1000 bits." Twilight told me. "1000 bits?" I wonder what the bits to dollars conversion is. "That reminds me, I also need a job." "If it's a job you're looking for, you could always sign up for the weather ponies! It's a tough job but it pays well." Rainbow Dash said. "That sounds great!" I said. I always wondered what it would be like to change the weather whenever I wanted. "Awesome! Follow me!" Rainbow Dash quickly flew into the air and out of sight. "Um, well, see you girls around later." I said with an awkward smile. They waved goodbye at me as I attempted for the first time in my life to fly. Opening my wings was an entirely new experience on its own. Being able to move appendages on my back was one of the weirdest things I had ever felt, but who was I to complain about weirdness? I woke up as a pony and met three cartoon characters all on the same day. I opened my wings and stretched them as wide as I could. I slowly started flapping them, which really isn't nearly as easy and simple as it sounds, and unsteadily ascended into the air. I ascended in short bursts of speed, almost like a fifteen year old just learning to drive. I finally got to a comfortable altitude and shakily hovered while looking for Rainbow Dash. I turned around and jumped back in surprise to see her directly in front of me with a look of impatience. "Come on, White Flash, I don't have all day." She said, and flew away while I slowly and unsteadily followed. I didn't know if there was any trick to flying, I just flapped my wings every so often and then tried to glide off of that. Most of the time, the glide would fail and I would end up flapping my wings ferociously like I was drowning in the air. We eventually arrived at a building with some kind of training course in the backyard. Rainbow Dash landed softly at the front door. I attempted doing the same, but I folded my wings midair, and ended up plummeting to the ground and tumbling into a tree. Not my smartest move. Rainbow Dash walked over to me. "Jeez, you really need to work on your landing." She commented. "Yeah, I never was the best at landing." I said as and excuse as I got up and shook off my slight concussion. "Well come on. Let's get you signed up." I followed Rainbow Dash into the building to sign up for being a weather pony. Inside, there was a unicorn reading a book behind a desk. I looked at Rainbow Dash and she motioned for me to go forward. I walked up to the desk and sat there for a good 20 seconds kind of awkwardly before the unicorn looked over the cover of the book straight at me. "Can I help you?" "Uh, yeah, I'd like to sign up to be a weather pony." I said. I was incredibly nervous. I had never applied for a job before. The mare levitated a paper pad and a pencil in front of her. "Name?" "White Flash." "Date of birth?" "6-5-96" I said, hoping Equestria used the same calendar I did. "Have you had any past experiences with being a weather pony?" "No." "Any work experience at all?" "Well, one time I got paid for mowing someone's lawn." I said. "Does that count?" "I guess it could." The mare said. She wrote down all of my answers on the paper, then ripped it out and gave it to me. I didn't really know how to hold it so I just kind of held it in my mouth. "You're training will start next week. Have a nice day." "Thanks." I said, and walked out of the building, Rainbow Dash following behind me. I couldn't believe it was that easy. I would've thought applying for a job would be a lot more complicated than that. "Well that was a good 30 seconds I guess." I said as we walked away from the weather building. "You really know how to keep things awkward while getting interviewed, don't you." Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. "Well, I didn't really know how to go about it, I've never applied for a job before." I defended. She laughed. "Don't worry, I'm just messing with you. That's how I was when I first applied for the job too." "Well I'm just excited I have a job now." My stomach suddenly growled. I was so caught up in everything that had happened that I almost forgot I was starving. "So, you wouldn't happen to know a good place to get some lunch around here, would you?" I asked. "I know the perfect place! But let's walk there this time, I don't want you to break a wing or something trying to land again." Rainbow Dash laughed. We walked together a short distance toward a building that I found very familiar in the show: Sugarcube Corner. "It's not much of a restaurant," Rainbow Dash said as we got closer, "but it sure gets the job done when you're hungry. Pinkie Pie's cupcakes are the best." Oh my God, Pinkie Pie! I'm gonna meet Pinkie Pie! This day just keeps getting better. We walked into the bakery toward the counter, but nopony was there to greet us. Rainbow Dash looked around. "Uh, hello? Is anypony-" "Hi Dashie! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!" Pinkie Pie popped up behind the counter out as if appearing from thin air. Knowing Pinkie Pie, that was probably the case. "Ooh ooh, who's this?" Pinkie asked, pointing a pink hoof at me. "Pinkie Pie, meet White Flash." Rainbow Dash said. I put my hoof out to shake, and Pinkie grabbed it and shook violently. "Yay! A new face! I've always ALWAYS wanted somepony new in Ponyville! Well, there was Twilight, but she's not so new anymore, so it looks like you're the NEW new pony around here! Oh, I'm gonna have to plan a party and invite everypony in Ponyville and then-" "Uh, Pinkie we just came by to grab some cupcakes." Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Of course!" Pinkie said, and finally stopped shaking my hoof and brought up a bag of cupcakes from behind the counter. Rainbow Dash put the bag of cupcakes on her back and paid Pinkie for the cupcakes. Meanwhile, I was still trying to shake off my dizziness from Pinkie's hoof shake. "So, do you like Ponyville, White Flash?" Pinkie asked with a beaming smile. "Yep!" I said. "It's exactly the kind of place I've always wanted to live in." I couldn't have been more truthful. "That's super!" Pinkie said. "I'm sure you'll fit right in!" Pinkie's usual high pitched voice put a smile on my face. I can't believe I'm talking to Pinkie Pie right now. Rainbow Dash smiled too. "Alright, well we're gonna go. We'll see you later, Pinkie." She said. "Bye White Flash! Bye Dashie!" Pinkie waved as we walked out. "Don't mind Pinkie," Rainbow told me after we left, "she can be a little...crazy sometimes." "It sure seems like it." I said. Rainbow Dash laughed, "Yeah, you'll get used to it." We walked over to a table outside and sat down. Rainbow Dash had set the bag of cupcakes down on the table, and she ripped it open, revealing four sweet, delicious cupcakes. I took one in my mouth and started chowing down. So, let's assess my current situation. I am a white pegasus in Equestria, eating cupcakes that I got from Pinkie Pie, with my favorite pony, Rainbow Dash to celebrate becoming a weather pony. This is the greatest day ever in the history of days ever. "So, where did you say you were from?" Rainbow Dash asked me between bites of her cupcake. "Oh, uh." I started. Where is somewhere from the show... "I'm from Manehattan." I said. I guess it was kind of close. I lived close to Manhattan on Earth. "Really? Why would you want to move from Manehattan?." Rainbow Dash asked. "Well, I just don't really like the noise of big cities, you know? I like a more quiet and rural area." "Oh, okay." She said. "Well, I hope you enjoy it here!" I smiled. "I look forward to it." After we ate, we got up and started walking through Ponyville. "So where do you want to go next?" Dash asked. "Well, there's-" "Hey, there's Applejack!" Rainbow pointed out. Looks like I had no choice. We trotted over to Applejack, who was standing at a stall selling her famous apple related products. "Hey Applejack, this is my new friend, White Flash. He just arrived here in Ponyville." "Well howdy there, White Flash. It's a pleasure to meet ya." Applejack said, smiling. Her southern accent was almost too much to handle. "Likewise." I said. "Would you like to try a free sample of the Apple family's famous apple pies?" "Sure!" I said, and Applejack handed me a small piece of pie. I put the whole thing in my mouth and sweet holy mother of God it was amazing! My eyes went wide. "This is the best thing I have ever tasted in my entire life!" "Yeah, we Apples try our best." Applejack said, blushing a little. "Well it's amazing. I'm going to have to buy one when I have the money." "Here, you can have one for free." "Really?" "Sure! Think of it as a welcoming gift to Ponyville." "Thanks, Applejack." "No problem, sugarcube." Applejack gave me a box with the delectable apple pie in it, and I put it on my back. This place is just amazing. "So what are you up to, AJ?" Dash asked. "Ah, not much. Just sellin' the recent apple pickin's at the Acres." "Did you and Big Mac fix the broken door on your barn?" "Yeah. Though we wouldn't have needed to if Applebloom and her friends weren't up to their crazy antics. Those little Fillies sure are determined to get their cutie marks." "Ah, they just have a sense of adventure is all. They remind me of me when I was their age." "Except you didn't destroy property." "Well most of the time." Rainbow Dash said. They shared a quick laugh. "We should probably get going." Rainbow Dash said, "See ya, Applejack." "Thanks again for the pie, Applejack." "Anytime!" Applejack said. We waved back at her as we walked away through the town. "So where to next?" I asked Rainbow as we walked through Ponyville once more. "Well, there's still one of my friends you haven't met yet, we could go see her." "Sure." Only one possibility: Rarity. And just as I thought, we eventually arrived at Rarity's boutique. As we walked in, Rarity was rushing around the boutique, looking frantic. "Oh no, oh no, oh NO!!" "Uh, Rarity, is something wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Yes! Very! I have a client that ordered a suit that I am no where near finishing, and he expects it done by tonight! I-" Rarity stopped when she saw me. "Rainbow Dash, who's your friend?" "Rarity, this is White Flash." Rainbow Dash explained. "Oh, yes well, it's a pleasure to meet you and all but do you mind if I borrow you for a moment?" Rarity asked me. "Um..?" I said, confused. "I just need to use you as a model to make the suit my clients wants. You look exactly his size." "Uh..." "Oh pretty please!" Rarity batted her eyelashes. "Sure..." I said reluctantly. Being a suit model didn't exactly sound like the best time, but I couldn't say no to those adorable eyes. "Great! Now if you could just stand on that podium, I'll be over with the materials." I walked over to the podium while Rarity rushed into another room to gather materials. I stood there for a few moments waiting, but not for long. Rarity rushed in and covered me in a silky drape-like thing. Then she started cutting in different spots to make it so it matched my size. The whole time she basically just made a suit that fit me. It took a few hours, and I almost fell asleep a few times during the process, so I was relieved when it was finally over. "Ah, thank you so much! I have the suit done just in time. I simply cannot thank you enough!" Rarity said with a huge smile. "It's no problem." I said. "Oh, but I feel I must give you something for your troubles...I know! The first piece of clothing you ever want to buy from my boutique is completely free!" "Wow, really? Thanks." "Oh anything for a pony who helped me in my time of need." Rarity said, "What did you say your name was?" "I'm White Flash." "Well. White Flash, I'm Rarity. Thank you so much for your help." I looked out the window. It was already getting dark. "Well Rarity, it's getting kind of late, I should probably get going." "Of course. You might want to wake Rainbow Dash though." I looked over. Rainbow Dash had fallen asleep during the suit fitting. I walked over to her and nudged her with my hoof. "Hey, Dash. Wake up sleepy head." "Wha? Oh, hey Flash. Is Rarity done yet?" Rainbow said groggily. She slowly got up and stretched. "Ugh, wow what time is it?" she said as she noticed the darkness outside. "Well, we should probably go, Rarity. See ya later." "I'll see you two tomorrow." Rarity said, and continued to hang the suit up on the pony mannequin. "Come on, Flash." Rainbow Dash said as we both walked out of the boutique. "I think I'm gonna head on home, White Flash." Rainbow Dash said as we got outside. "Oh, uh, that reminds me." I said, "I still have nowhere to live." "Seriously? How did we forget to look for houses? Anyway, you can crash at my place until you have somewhere to live." "Really? Thanks, Dash." "No problem, you'd probably do the same for me. Follow me." Rainbow Dash ascended into the air and I followed close behind, still with novice flying skills. I should really work on that. We flew for a bit until we reached Rainbow Dash's cloud house. She landed at the front door and I did my best not to kill myself doing the same thing. She opened the door and we stepped inside. I didn't really know what to think of it. I didn't remember any episodes that showed the inside of the house, well not any that I had seen anyway. To the left, there was a couch facing a table that had a stack of magazines on it. To the right was a kitchen, and in the middle there was a hallway that led to more of the house. There were pieces of paper and other various things scattered around the room. "Here we are!" Rainbow Dash said. "Nice place you have here." I said. "Yeah, don't mind the mess, I wasn't prepared for company." Rainbow Dash yawned. "I don't know about you, but I'm beat. I'll see you in the morning. You can just crash on the couch or wherever you find comfortable. If you get hungry, feel free to make a snack, there's food in the pantry." "Hey, Dash?" I said. "Yeah?" "Thank you so much for everything today. You showed me around Ponyville, you helped me get my first job, and now you're giving me a place to sleep. Thank you." I said, genuinely grateful. "Hey, no problem," She smiled, "That's what friends are for." And with that, she walked down the hallway, probably to her room. Friends. I smiled as I realized that today, I made friends with Rainbow Dash. And all of the other ponies! This has got to be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I yawned. I was getting tired as well. I was about to fall into the couch, when I remembered something. I still haven't seen what I completely look like yet. I walked into the kitchen and searched for a mirror. Luckily, there was one just above the sink. I looked at my face. I had crimson colored eyes, and a mane that sort of looked like a black spiky mohawk with a red streak through it, just like my tail. I backed up and looked over my whole body. I didn't look bad at all. But there was one thing. I noticed I didn't have my cutie mark. I wonder why no pony mentioned it to me. Anyway, I was tired so I walked over to the couch and lay down. To recap today, I woke up in Equestria as a pony, the thing I wanted most in the world, then I met all of the ponies and made friends, something I've never had. And now I'm about to sleep in my favorite pony's house. All on my birthday, too. If this is a dream, I sincerely hope I never have to wake up. > 3. I Try to Land Again > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke the next morning and immediately went to check if I was still a pony. I opened my eyes. Hooves, check. White snout, check And walls in the room made of clouds, definitely check. I smiled. So it wasn't a dream I smelled something cooking in the kitchen. I had no idea what, but it smelled amazing. I got up off the couch and stretched. I looked over to the kitchen to see Rainbow Dash stirring something in a pan on the hot stove. "Morning, sunshine." She said when I was done stretching. I yawned. "Morning. I gotta say, I never thought I would see somepony like you cook." "Yeah, I usually don't. I only know how to put some oats on the stove and cook them for a while. And I thought breakfast sounded good right about now, so why not." She smiled. She really was just as cute in person as in the show. "I didn't even know it was possible to cook oats." I said. "Yeah, not very many ponies know, but cooking oats makes them taste so much better. Heck, I only know because my mother taught me." She stirred the oats around in the pan once more, and then turned off the stove. She walked over to a cabinet and grabbed two plates. "Help yourself, there's plenty up here." "Thanks." I said, and made my way over to the kitchen. I was starving. Maybe oats taste good now that I'm a pony. Rainbow took a spoonful of the fried food and put it on her plate. "So, what's on the agenda for today?" She asked me as I walked into the kitchen to fix my plate. "Well, I'm not sure yet. I guess I could go looking for houses for sale." I attempted to pick up the spoon to put the oats on my plate, but grasping something with a hoof is almost impossible. I kind awkwardly used both of my hooves to pick up the spoon. I looked back at Rainbow Dash, hoping she didn't catch my slip up. I'm never gonna survive in Equestria like this. "Well, you could always ask Twilight about the houses. She knows everything about Ponyville, I bet she'd know a lot of places to live." "True." I said, and continued to fail at making a simple plate of food. Dash cantered over to the couch and sat down to eat, while I struggled to get the last bits of oats onto my plate. Well that was complicated enough. I grabbed my plate, careful not to drop it with my flimsy grip, and walked over to the couch to take a seat next to Rainbow Dash. "I should probably find somewhere to live soon. I don't want to intrude by staying here too long or anything." I said. "Seriously? You're not intruding. If you were, you would know. You're welcome here anytime. Besides, I like the company. Not too many ponies visit me that often." "Why not?" I asked. "Well, mostly because I live in a cloud house floating in the sky. Not exactly the kind of place that says, 'Hey there, you wanna come over and visit?'" I laughed at that. "Yeah, I guess not." The whole time Dash and I ate, we just talked and learned more about each other. I did my best to tell her things about myself without revealing that I used to be human. Dash told me about how she was from Cloudsdale, how she dropped out of flight school, and how she got her cutie mark. "Speaking of cutie marks..." She said, looking at my barren flank. "Yeah..." I said. Well now to explain this. "Well... I guess I just still haven't found my talent yet." I said, giving the most obvious answer ever. "Oh...well don't worry, I'm sure you'll find it soon enough." "Yeah, maybe." After that we just kind of sat there silently, finishing off the last of our oats. Needless to say, things got awkward very fast. I don't really know why I cared, I've always been kind of awkward around people. I got used to it, but it just felt different around Dash for some reason. After we finished eating, Rainbow Dash told me that she had plans to hang out with Pinkie Pie so she had to leave. She told me good luck on finding a house, and that if I ever needed back in the house that there was a key under the rug in front of the door. After we parted ways, I started headed towards Twilight's house. On my way there, I realized I had some down time, so I decided to try to better my flying. I knew the basics of just flapping my wings and flying. I could actually fly somewhat steadily now. As I flew more, I started wanting to go faster. I suddenly slowed my flight to a peaceful hover, which isn't nearly as easy as it sounds. First, I had to stop gliding and start flapping my wings in place, which I know there has to be a much easier way of doing than what I did because I nearly spiraled out of control. Then, I had to have a steady flapping pace to stay in one spot without my body jerking every which way. After I had staying in one spot down, I ascended slowly but surely to a bit higher than cloud level. I descended as slow as I could onto a cloud, and I actually successfully landed for once. I stood on the cloud, but my legs quickly gave way and I found myself lying down on the softest material that I had ever had the pleasure to feel in my entire life. Even though Rainbow Dash's house was made of this stuff, it had nothing on the actual cloud. I couldn't help but roll around on the cloud and enjoy its plushness. It was just so damn comfortable! I rolled over on my stomach and looked down at Ponyville. I could see everything from here. I could see all of the ponies walking around, talking, and having a good time. And then there's me. Just sitting up here on this cloud watching them all. It's no wonder I didn't have any friends when I was human. Anyway, it was time to do what I came up here for. I reluctantly got to my feet and ascended off the cloud and looked down. "Here goes nothing." I folded my wings and did a nosedive toward the ground. Not my smartest move. I was going so fast, everything was a blur to me. I tried to make sense of where I was to no avail. The wind whizzed through my mane and I felt my eyes start to water. I guessed I was probably getting close to the ground, so I opened my wings, and my body angled a little bit so I wasn't falling straight down. Now, I was going insanely fast in a forward direction. As I flew, I sort of noticed, sort of ignored the fact that I was still getting closer to the ground, and that I was currently doing nothing about it. I tried to flap my wings to gain altitude, but I suddenly spiraled out of control. I started rolling violently through the air, the wind hitting me at every angle. My situation only got worse when I tried to correct myself once more. "OHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDDD!!!!!" I screamed as I tumbled through the air at an impossible speed. I couldn't see a thing going on around me, and then suddenly- SPLASH I hit the water with incredible force, and I tumbled around at a disorienting speed. I finally stopped after several violent somersaults underwater. I sat in the water, not even able to comprehend what had just happened, all I knew was that I was running out of air. And quickly. When I finally shook off my dizziness, I swam upward as fast as I could, though hooves aren't exactly the best swimming gear. I was almost to the surface, but at this point, my lungs were screaming for air. C'mon...almost...there... I finally resurfaced and I gasped for air. I wound up close to the shore of a large pond. I hastily paddled toward the edge of the pond to the shore, still breathing heavily. I made it, and immediately collapsed onto my back gasping for air for a full minute before two ponies came into my vision. "White Flash? Are you okay?" Rainbow Dash said with a concerned expression. "You just fell out of the sky and then SPLASH!!! Into the pond you went!" Giggled Pinkie Pie. "Oh...hey...guys..." I managed between breaths. "I leave you alone for ten minutes, and the next thing I know, you're plummeting out of the sky and into a pond! What happened?" Dash asked. "Uh...I tried to land again." I said with a wry smile. Rainbow Dash sighed. "Are you alright?" She asked. "Yeah I'm fine I'll just try to...land less." "Well, try not to get yourself killed by the end of the day, okay?" "I'll try." I said with a smile. Rainbow Dash's mood lightened and she laughed. "I just don't understand you, Flash." With that, Pinkie and Dash walked off, leaving me on the ground. "Well that was embarrassing..." I said to myself as I got to my feet. I shook off the water from my fur and started toward Twilight's house. Maybe she can help me with the house situation. > 4. I Find a Good House > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I walked into Ponyville, hoping to find Twilight so she could help me find houses for sale, but then I realized I had no idea whatsoever where her house was. I mean sure, it's a giant tree, kind of hard to miss, but Ponyville is still kind of a big place, and I had no idea where to look. I blindly walked around Ponyville, I watched as everypony walked by me, looking like they were all having a good time just being there. Then that got me thinking: I should too. All my life I've been the most antisocial person in the world. I rarely went outside, and at times would get a bit annoyed if anyone tried to talk to me. Well, I've got a clean slate, so it's time to be a new person...or in this case, new pony. I wasn't very sure how to go about making friends, though. I was still walking through Ponyville, lost in my thoughts when I bumped into Rarity. "Sorry." We both said simultaneously. It seemed she was lost in thought as well because she didn't notice it was me she had bumped into until she looked up. "Oh, hello, White Flash. What are you up to?" "I was just wondering where I could find Twilight." I said. "She should be at her home." Rarity said, pointing a hoof down the street, "Just go to the end of the street and make a left. Her house is the one that...resembles a rather large tree." "Alright, thanks, Rarity." I said, about to trot off. "Before you go, might I ask why you need to see Twilight?" Rarity asked, stopping me. "I need her help finding a house for sale." "Oh. Alright. Well, see you around, White Flash." "See you later, Rarity." And I started down the street toward Twilight's house. Rarity seemed really happy to see me for some reason. And a little upset when I mentioned going to Twilight for help. I wonder if she... No, that's ridiculous, we've only known each other since yesterday, she couldn't possibly like me like that. Anyway, I wasn't really interested in a relationship anytime soon. I kept following the street and turned left, following Rarity's instructions. And sure enough, there was the giant tree that Twilight Sparkle called home. I walked to the front step and knocked a couple times on the old wooden door. The my hoof made a Klonk, klonk sound as the knocking resonated around the library. While I waited for someone to answer it, I could here crashing inside the house, and frantic voice asking where something was. I started to get worried until Spike finally answered the door. "Who are you?" He asked as he looked up at me with a slightly annoyed expression. "Um, I'm White Flash, one of Twilight's friends." I heard another crash and a familiar voice saying "Where is it?" frantically. "Is everything alright in there?" I asked Spike as I peeked into the house. There were random books scattered all over the room, as well as a few scrolls, while Twilight went from bookshelf to bookshelf searching for something. Her mane was messed up and unkempt, as if she hadn't brushed it in days. "Yeah, she's fine. She's just freaking out again because she can't find some kind of scroll or something like that." Spike explained, "She'll find it sooner or later. By the way, the name's Spike. Any friend of Twilight's is a friend of mine." He extended his arm for a handshake. We shook and I walked into the house. "Where is it! It has to be here! It just has to!" Twilight said as she searched through countless books on the ground. "Uh, Twilight? Need help with something?" I said as I looked around at the mess on the ground. "No thanks, White Flash, I have EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL!!!" She said, not even looking away from her search when she spoke. "What is it you're trying to find?" "Oh, nothing, just a simple scroll of magical ward...THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND ANYWHERE!!!" She groaned in frustration. It looked like I was about to see insane Twilight from 'Lesson Zero'. My God, this must be stopped. I walked over to a pile of books and started sifting through them. It didn't take long until I finally came across a scroll and I unrolled it. "How to Concentrate Magic Into a Ward" I said, reading the heading. "WHAT?!?!" I heard Twilight yell as she practically knocked me over getting to the scroll. She held it to eye level with her magic and quickly skimmed through the contents. Her serious, worried look quickly grew into a cheerful smile. "You found it! Thank you so much!" Twilight said, and then turned to hug me. I was a little surprised, mostly because I had never gotten hugged by a girl before, let alone a girl pony. When she finally released the hug, Twilight rolled up the scroll and put it away in a saddle bag she had lying on the floor. "Now, what was it that you needed?" Twilight asked with a smile. "Um...uh, I was just wondering if you still knew of some houses for sale that I could move into." I said, still a little dazed from the hug. "Oh, of course! Let's see here..." Twilight went over to her saddle bag and used her magic to take out a book. "This is the latest version of the Ponyville Encyclopedia. It should have listings for all vacant houses in Ponyville." She explained. She flipped through the pages until she found the one she was looking for. "Here we go! Hmm...there seems to be a few available houses. They're both pretty nice, but like I said, the cheapest one is 1000 bits." Twilight told me. "Well, that's a bit much, but I guess it's worth checking out." I said. "I'll show you where it is if you want to see it." "Sure." "Spike, while I'm gone, could you start tidying up for me?" Twilight asked Spike. Wow, she really does use him as her slave. Spike sighed, "Sure, Twilight. But you owe me." Twilight giggled. "Okay, Spike. How about I get you an entire basket of gems the next time I'm out?" Spike immediately brightened up. "That would cover it!" Twilight just smiled and rolled her eyes. We made our way out of the library into Ponyville. "So, how have you been liking Ponyville?" Twilight asked as we walked the streets toward the vacant house. "It's been awesome. Definitely better than where I used to live." I said, and truthfully meaning it. "Where did you used to live?" Twilight asked. "Well...let's just say it wasn't the best place to be." I said. We continued walking into the center of town, making small talk as we went. Twilight was never really one of my favorites when I watched the show, but I also didn't hate her either. She was just kind of the middle pony of the mane 6 for me. Anyways, she's actually not as bad as I thought she would be. After a bit of talking, we finally arrived to the house we were looking for. "Well, here it is." Twilight said as I took in the details of the house. It wasn't far from Sugarcube Corner, so I could always drop by there if I suddenly felt like eating sweets. The house itself wasn't bad at all. It looked like all of the normal houses, but slightly bigger. I walked up to the front door and pushed it open. The house was pretty roomy on the inside. As I walked in, there was a fireplace on the other side of the room, with a place to put furniture around it, with soft carpet covering the whole space. To the right was a tiled area with a counter where the kitchen should be. Ahead to the right was a staircase leading to the next floor. I walked up the staircase and immediately found two bedrooms, one on the left and one on the right. "This place is nice. It could use some furniture, but it's nice." I said, "And you say it's only 1000 bits? That's pretty good for a house like this." "Yep. I'm sure you'll be able to get the money. Did you get the job that Rainbow Dash dragged you off to sign up for?" Twilight asked. "Yeah. Well, I still have to go through the training, but otherwise, I got it." "Well that's great! I'm sure you'll get the money in no time!" Twilight smiled. "I sure hope so." I said, and started heading out of the house. Twilight followed behind me and we stopped in the street. "I should probably get back to Spike. That was a pretty big mess I left him with, and I should probably help him." Twilight told me, "It was nice seeing you though." "Nice seeing you, Twilight." I said. "Good luck with getting the house." "Thanks." I said, and with that, Twilight walked off back toward the library. Well, I did everything I planned to do today, and it's not even 2:00. I guess I have a little free time. What to do, what to do... Flying is definitely out of the question, I don't want to hurt myself. I could always try to make a new friend or two, but I need advice. "To Fluttershy's cottage it is then." > 5. I Feed Animals and Feel Sorry for Myself > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I headed through town, trying to find the old dirt road that led to Fluttershy's cottage. As I looked around, the only things in my vision were the beautiful scenery of Ponyville and other ponies walking around merrily. As I searched for the road once more, I heard three familiar voices behind me. "Hi, mister!" I turned around and my suspicions were confirmed when I saw all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their adorable smiles staring up at me. "Uh, hey there." I said, not really sure how to respond to seeing the three adorable fillies. "Are ya lost, mister? You seem lost." Apple Bloom said. "Um, actually, I-" "We could get our cutie marks for helping lost ponies!" Scootaloo jumped up and down excitement. "Well I'm not-" "Yeah! Hey wait...You look like that pony my sister has been talking about!" Sweetie Belle said with suspicious eyes. "Um...what?" "So that means he's not lost. Darn it!" Scootaloo said, disappointed. "Uh, sorry but-" "Well, what can we help you with, mister?" Apple Bloom asked. "Do you know how to get to Fluttershy's cottage?" I said quickly, before any of them had another chance to talk. Maybe they'll get their cutie marks for interrupting people. "Sure!" They said in unison. They started walking so I followed. We finally came to the familiar dirt road that led to Fluttershy's cottage. "Do you think we'll get our cutie marks for helping a pony find where he wanted to go?" Sweetie Belle asked. "I sure hope so! I wonder what it'll look like!" Scootaloo speculated. "Maybe it'll be a compass or a map!" Apple Bloom suggested. "Yeah!" Scootaloo and Sweetie said together. They looked so excited taking me to Fluttershy's cottage. And I have to admit, they were more adorable than I could ever imagine. As we traveled farther down the road, I kind of blocked out the Cutie Mark Crusaders' conversations from my mind and I enjoyed the nature. There were birds peacefully flying about, squirrels climbing trees and storing acorns, and even rabbits hopping around and playing. It was all so peaceful and calm. It was all so perfect. I got taken out of my trance by the Crusaders. "We're here!" All three said as we arrived at the bridge that led to Fluttershy's house. "Thank you-" I was cut off. "Scootaloo!" "Sweetie Belle!" "Apple Bloom!" "We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" They said the last statement together with incredibly cute smiles. "Thank you, Cutie Mark Crusaders." "You're welcome!" As I turned toward the cottage and started walking to the front door, I could already hear the Crusaders conversing. "Did we get it? Did we get it?" "I don't think so..." "Do I have one?" I trotted up to the wooden door and knocked. A moment later, I was greeted with the creaking of wood as Fluttershy opened the door. "Oh, hello, White Flash." She said with a friendly smile. "Hey Fluttershy, how's it going?" I asked. "Great. I was just about to feed my animals. Care to join me?" "Sure!" I walked in and admired all of Fluttershy's animals while she went to get the animal food. I definitely didn't think it was possible that this many animals could be in one place, but I'm not complaining. Even on the show it didn't look like there were nearly this many animals. Fluttershy came back a few moments later with a large bag. I walked over and helped her carry it into the room and we laid it on the ground. Next, she went and got several bowls and lined them up. "Now, if you could just fill these bowls with the food from the bag, I'll take them over to the animals." Fluttershy told me. I picked up the bag in my mouth, which was incredibly hard with that giant bag, and I filled all of the bowls evenly. Each time I filled a bowl, Fluttershy took it over to a group of animals and they started chowing down as if they hadn't eaten in weeks. After I had filled the last bowl and Fluttershy had delivered it to the last of the hungry animals, we sat back and admired our work. "They must have been extra hungry today!" Fluttershy said as we stood out of the way of everything to watch the animals enjoy their meals. "I guess so." I said, enjoying the sight of the various different animals ravaging the food. "By the way," I said, breaking the few moments of silence, "I need to ask you something." "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you caught up in the animals..." Fluttershy said with her quiet and apologetic voice. "Oh no, it's fine." I said. I cleared my throat, a little embarrassed at the fact that I was even going to ask a question like this. "I just wanted to know how to...well..." I hesitated. "Yes?" Fluttershy asked, looking a little worried. "Well, I just wanted to know how to...make friends." I said the last couple words with a quiet voice. Fluttershy's worried expression quickly turned into an understanding smile. "Oh, that's all? Making friends is easy!" Fluttershy said. "Yeah, well...not so much for me..." I said, looking down. "Didn't Rainbow Dash introduce you to our other friends?" She asked, looking a little sad as well. "Yeah, but where I come from, I never really had anypony to call my friend. And even though I like you and your friends and you were all nice enough to be friends with me, I still don't know how to just go out and make them..." I said, suddenly feeling sad at the realization of my old life on Earth and how pitiful it was. Fluttershy must have seen my sadness. "Hey, cheer up." She said, holding my head up with her hoof on my chin. "I'm sure we can help you learn how to make new friends." She said with a hopeful smile. Looking up and finding myself looking into her adorable green eyes brightened my mood. "Come on, I'm sure Applejack will be glad to help us." Fluttershy made her way to the front door and opened it, looking back at me. "Let's go." She said. I slowly cantered over to her and she closed the door on my way out. She cam up next to me and we started walking down the dirt road leading into Ponyville. I was still feeling a little down on myself, but being outside and seeing the gorgeous scenery again made me feel a little better. "Listen, Fluttershy, I really appreciate that you're doing this for me. I really do." I said to her as we walked. "Oh, you're very welcome. I can't imagine how tough it must have been for you not having any friends before. You poor dear." Fluttershy said sympathetically. "You have no idea." I said under my breath. We walked toward Ponyville, hopeful that I would be able to experience the magic of friendship. > 6. I Come Out of my Shell > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fluttershy and I walked down the dirt road in silence for a good five minutes before I spoke up. "You know...I never really thought about it before. That I never had friends. I guess I never had a need for any." I said, and meaning it. No one ever talked to me and I had gotten used to the solitude of loneliness. "Everypony needs friends." Fluttershy said after a few more moments of silence. "You may not think so, but there will always be friends for you out there. There will always be somepony out there that understands you, and has similarities just like you. You just have to find them." Her words suddenly made me feel much better. I looked at her and put on a slight smile. "Thank you. So much." I said. She put on a smile as well and we both looked forward as we walked further. I could finally see the colorful town of Ponyville in the distance as we grew closer. "Where do you think we'll find Applejack?" I asked. "Well, she'll either be in town selling apples, or at Sweet Apple Acres. We should check in town first." Fluttershy replied. We walked into town, seeing all of the other ponies bustling about like normal. We continued walking until we got to where the vendor stalls in the center of town. "Here ya go, ma'am." We heard Applejack say as we came up on her selling an apple pie. "Thank you." The mare smiled. Applejack tipped her hat in response. We walked over to find Applejack and Big Mac behind the stall with their apple products. Big Mac looked as stoic and bored as ever. "Howdy, sugarcube." Applejack said as Fluttershy walked up to the stall. "What can I do for ya?" "Well, um, White Flash needs your help with something, Applejack." Fluttershy explained. I walked up next to Fluttershy and looked at Applejack. "What is it ya need help with?" Applejack asked. "Well, I, uh." I motioned for her to come closer. She leaned in with her ear raised and I whispered to tell her, still a little embarrassed about it all. "Shoot, is that all? Don't worry, we can help ya in no time!" Applejack said. She got out from behind the stall and went to Fluttershy's side. "Big Macintosh, could ya watch the stall 'till I get back?" Big Mac replied with his signature "Eeyup." I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle from actually hearing him say it in real life. Luckily, nopony heard it though. It would probably seem a little weird if they did. "Alright then, let's go." Applejack said, and she led the way through Ponyville while Fluttershy and I followed close behind. We ended up near Sugarcube Corner, where countless ponies were casually trotting around happily. I walked up next to Applejack. "So now what?" I asked. "What do I do first?" "Well, the first step of making friends is talking to the pony ya want to befriend. After ya talk with them for a while, you'll start to know what interests ya both share and then friendship kinda just...happens." Applejack explained. "Well, how do I know who I want to be friends with?" I asked. "Just pick somepony that looks friendly. They don't have to be somepony ya already know. Think about it, if it wasn't for Rainbow Dash introducing ya to me, ya would never have known how I am until you talked to me." Applejack said. "I guess that's true." I said. "Just start up a conversation about the first thing that comes to your mind." Fluttershy said as she walked to the other side of me. I scouted the area and searched for a pony that looked friendly. I saw a light blue earth pony stallion with a short and scraggly red mane and tail walking by. I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Wish me luck." I said, and I walked towards him. Come on, it's not that hard. I thought, It's just making friends. Why am I making such a big deal? It's easy. It has to be. "Hi." I said. He stopped walking and looked at me, kind of nervous. "Uh, hi. How's it going?" He said quietly. "Um, good, it's good." There were a few seconds of awkward silence. "What's your name?" He asked, still looking anxious for some reason. "Oh, um, White Flash. I'm White Flash." He stuck out his hoof and I shook it awkwardly. This pony had to have had social problems or something. Oh hey, there's one similarity. "I'm Blaze. Nice to meet you." He said. I put on an awkward smile. "I haven't ever seen you around here before. Did you just arrive?" "Uh, yeah. I'm planning on moving in once I get enough money. I'm staying at a friend's house until I get on my feet." I said. "Really? Same here. I'm staying at someone's house too. I'm lucky they were nice enough to take me in. Anyway, It was nice meeting you, White Flash, but I have to meet my friend for some plans we made. I'll see you around, though." Blaze said, a little less nervous now. "Alright, see you around." I said, and Blaze walked off. I started walking back to Applejack and Fluttershy, and then I thought about what Blaze last said. I never saw him in the background or anything on the show before, I thought, and before I told him I just arrived, it sounded like he had been in Ponyville for a while, but then he said he just arrived too. And did he say someone instead of somepony? I didn't think about it too much though. I actually made a friend! "So how did it go?" Applejack asked as I walked up to her and Fluttershy. I smiled. "I made a friend!" I was absolutely ecstatic. I did something so small that literally everyone can do, but it meant a lot for me. My first legitimate friend that I made. I couldn't believe it. Fluttershy smiled as well. "That's wonderful! See, we knew you could make friends, everypony can." "Thank you both so much. I never would've been able to do this without you." I said as I wrapped my arms around them and hugged them both. "Aw, shucks, it was nothing." Applejack said when I let go. "But it was something. Thank you." I said, truthfully meaning it. After a few moments of silence, Applejack said, "Well, I hate to leave so suddenly, but I should probably go check on Big Macintosh to see how he's doing with the sales. I'll see you two later." And she trotted off through town. Fluttershy and I waved at her until she was out of sight. "So, was it easy like I said it would be?" Fluttershy asked me. "It actually was. You were right." I said. "You know, you're a lot like the way I am around new ponies. Shy, I mean. I guess I just get too nervous to talk to new ponies and make new friends. But thanks to my friends now, I guess I'm not as shy as I used to be. I'm really lucky to have them." Fluttershy said. "Well you seemed pretty friendly when you met me. I fell out of the sky into the middle of a forest. I probably wouldn't go near a pony that just did that." I said. "Well, I guess I wasn't scared of you because I saw that you were hurt, and I couldn't just leave you out there." "So, you're saying you only helped me because you thought you had to?" "No, no, that's not what I meant at all, I-" I laughed. "I'm just kidding, Fluttershy. Thank you for helping me, by the way. I never got the chance to thank you." Fluttershy smiled. "Oh, don't mention it, helping animals and other ponies is my specialty." I looked up at the sky. It appeared to be early in the evening. I remembered that I didn't have lunch today, then my stomach growled. Fluttershy must have heard it. "Are you hungry? I have some food at my cottage if you are." "Um, yeah. If it's not a bother to you." I said. "Oh, not at all. Come on, let's get something to eat." Fluttershy and I walked together toward the dirt road that had become very familiar to me. As we walked, we made small talk about random topics to pass the time. We finally arrived at her cottage and we walked in. "Just take a seat at that table and I'll get some things to make sandwiches." Fluttershy said as she walked into the kitchen. I found a seat at a dining table and waited. A few minutes later, Fluttershy came out with bread, hay, and jelly. She set it all on the table, and I joined her at the table side and we started making sandwiches together. I got a couple slices of bread and put it on my plate, then I smothered it with jelly and got some hay. Well, this stuff has to be good if everypony eats it all the time. I thought, not sure how it would taste. I looked over at Fluttershy and she was happily making her sandwich as well, with an adorable smile on her face. Out of all the fan art I had seen, nothing compared to how cute she was in real life. Then again, all of the ponies are more adorable in real life. I put the other slice of bread on top of my sandwich and took it to my seat. Shorty after, Fluttershy joined me, taking a seat next to me. I was about to take a bite when I realized I didn't know how to eat a sandwich with hooves. I decided on holding it in between my hooves while taking a bite, which felt completely wrong. Then I looked over at Fluttershy who just held the sandwich on top of one of her hooves to eat it. Duh. I followed Fluttershy and held it like her. I really need to learn how to do things as a pony. I took a bite and was surprised at the flavor. I'll be honest, I never thought a combination of bread, jelly, and hay would taste so good. It was like a slice of heaven just popped into my mouth. When we both finished eating, I decided that I should probably start to get back to Rainbow Dash's house. "I should probably get going, Fluttershy." I said. "Thanks for the food though, it really hit the spot." "No problem," She said smiling, "If you ever need anything, just come see me and I'll be glad to help." I smiled at her and started to make my way out the door. I looked back to her before walking out. "Thank you for showing me how to make friends, Fluttershy. It means a lot to me." "Oh, it was nothing. I'm glad to help." She said, walking up to the door. I smiled. "Well still, thank you." I walked out and turned around to see her again. "I'll see you later." I said. "See you later, White Flash." Fluttershy said, and I started trotting down the dirt road once more. I heard her shut the door and I continued walking without a care in the world. I breathed in the cool summer air and heard the birds chirp as they got ready to rest for the evening. The golden light of the setting sun shimmered throughout the sky, creating the perfect sight. I'm in Equestria. I'm living in paradise. I finally learned how to make friends. I have no worries. I'm living with my best friend, Rainbow Dash. And I'm loving this. > 7. I Lack Basic Door Opening Skills > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I walked down the dirt road, feeling happier than I usually had been since arriving in Equestria. I've only been here two days and everything is already much better than my old life. Equestria is even better than I expected, and that's saying something. I continued walking until I arrived in Ponyville. It was eerily quiet. I slowly walked through the town, looking around and seeing the town completely dark. This is some Silent Hill stuff right here. I thought. I thought maybe it was just this quiet because it was at night, but it was never like this on the show. And it also just didn't feel right. I decided to just go back to Rainbow Dash's house instead of worrying about the scenery. I finally arrived to where Dash's house was and slowly ascended to the front step, making sure not to crash land once again. Surprisingly, I landed softly for once. I got to the door to find it locked. I checked under the rug and sure enough, I found the small silver key. I tried for a good two minutes to pick up the key properly in my mouth. I finally succeeded after countless failed attempts and held it there. Now to put it in the lock. I twisted my head sideways and tried to put the key in, but all it did was collide with the door knob and fall to the front step. I then picked up the key again, getting better at it this time, and tried to put it in the door, only to have the same result as last time. I was starting to get mad now. I pick up the key again, and finally succeeded in putting it in the door. "Finally." I said under my breath, and turned the key. I opened the door and I was greeted with complete darkness for a few moments, and then, "SURPRISE!!!" I was suddenly greeted by a blinding light and the sound of many happy voices. When I regained my sight, all I saw was a ridiculous amount of ponies in party hats, a table set up with punch and other snacks, and a banner overhead that said, "Welcome To Ponyville, White Flash!" I looked around, a little confused as I heard music start playing and saw confetti fly through the air. A smile slowly crept across my face. That's right, I forgot that Pinkie Pie said she was going to plan a party. Before I could even react, Pinkie Pie appeared in front of me. "Welcome to Ponyville, White Flash!" Pinkie said as she jumped up and down in excitement. "I told you there would be a party! I always ALWAYS welcome new ponies with a party!" "How did you have time to do this on such short notice?" I asked, and then I remembered: It's Pinkie Pie. "Me and Rainbow Dash set it all up while you were out!" Pinkie replied, still jumping. "Yep." Rainbow Dash said as she walked up next to Pinkie. "We told all of our friends to keep you busy while Pinkie and I set it up. Cool, huh?" "Definitely. Thanks, guys!" I said with a smile. "It's no biggy. Besides, you needed a proper welcoming to Ponyville." Rainbow Dash said, smiling as well. Pinkie Pie bounced away to cater to the punch bowl, leaving Rainbow Dash and me to talk. "How did you get everypony up here? I mean, we're in a cloud." I asked. "Oh, Twilight just cast a spell or whatever on all the unicorns and earth ponies so they could walk on clouds." Rainbow Dash explained. "I'm just surprised that almost everypony in Ponyville can fit in my house. Cleaning up definitely won't be fun." "I can help you. It is my party after all, the least I can do is help with cleanup." I said. "Really? Thanks, it would help a lot." Dash said. "Well, I'm gonna go talk to Pinkie. I'll let you mingle with your guests." She walked over to the table where Pinkie was and started talking. With her. This is so amazing! A party just for me. I can't even begin to describe my pure and utter joy. I looked around, not really sure what to do. I had never actually been to a party before. I walked around a bit until I saw Fluttershy standing around. "Fluttershy? How did you get here before I did?" I asked as I trotted up to her. "Oh, hey, White Flash. It wasn't easy. As soon as you left I flew as fast as I could to Rainbow Dash's house and I barely made it. But I'm here now so yay!" Fluttershy said with a cute smile. "I can't believe I didn't see you." I said. "I can't believe it either. I thought for sure you saw me a few times, but I guess I was just paranoid." She said with a nervous laugh. "Hey, White Flash!" I heard a familiar voice from behind. I turned to see Blaze waving at me. "Hey, Blaze!" I said. "Well, I'll see you around Fluttershy." I said, and walked over to Blaze. "How's it going?" I asked Blaze as I walked up to him. "Not bad. So you're actually friends with Fluttershy?" He asked with a hint of awe in his voice. "Uh, yeah. Do you know her?" I asked. "Yeah. Well, I don't know her. I've never met her, I only know of her from the show..." He said the last few words very quietly. "The what?" I asked. I could of sworn he said the show, but how could he? It must just be my imagination. "From, uh, other ponies. Yeah, I've heard pe-ponies talk about her all the time." He said very nervously with an awkward smile. "Um, okay." I said, a little confused. There is definitely something strange about this guy. "Hey Blaze, you wanna hang out sometime?" I asked. Maybe if I get to know him more I'll know what's so weird about him. "Oh, uh, sure. When?" He asked, his voice still a little shaky. "How's tomorrow? Let's meet at Sugarcube Corner at around three." I said. "Um, okay. Sure." Blaze said. "Alright." I said. "I'll see you then." I smiled at him, and made my way over to the middle table for a snack. I looked back at Blaze occasionally, and he seemed to be his normal self, talking to other ponies. I went up to the table and grabbed a cookie. I was in the middle of chewing when none other than Rarity showed up next to me. "Oh, hello, darling. How are you liking the party?" She asked. "It's great!" I said with a full mouth. "Well, I designed the banner you know. It's made of quality silk imported from Canterlot." She said, as if she was trying to impress me. "It's really nice. Thanks, Rarity." I said. "Oh, it was nothing." She said, smiling and fixing her mane. I happened to look over Rarity's shoulder and saw Rainbow Dash glaring at her from the punch bowl. Before I could say anything else, Pinkie Pie appeared next to me. "Flash, c'mon! We're gonna play pin the tail on the pony!" She said excitedly. Before I could even respond, she dragged me over into a line of three ponies waiting to try to pin the tail on the pony. The pony in front of me looked back and I noticed it was Applejack. She noticed me too and turned around to greet me. "Well howdy there, White Flash. Are ya enjoying the party?" She asked. "Yeah, it's pretty awesome." I said. I looked ahead to see a pony with a blindfold attempt to pin the tail, but miss by roughly three feet. "You know, I've never played pin the tail on the pony before." I said. It wasn't at all far from the truth. I had never played one game of pin the tail on the donkey when I was human. "Really? You'll love it. It's mighty fun." Applejack said. We watched the next pony, who happened to be Twilight, try to pin the tail, smiling the whole time. When she took her blindfold off to see where the tail ended up however, her cheerful look quickly changed to one of confusion. "What? But I calculated where the pony was exactly, how did I miss?" Twilight said, and then walked to the back of the line, still looking confused. "My turn!" Applejack said, and quickly put the blindfold on and pinned the tail, but she was off by about two inches. "Shoot! I was close." She said when she took the blindfold off. She gave the tail and the blindfold to me, and I put the blindfold over my eyes. I walked straight forward and pinned the tail. I lifted the blindfold to reveal that I pinned it way too far up. I smiled. I'm not sure why. Was it because it was the first party game I ever played? Was it because I failed but still had fun? I didn't care, I was happy nevertheless. I walked to the back of the line, still with a slight smile on my face. I was greeted by Twilight, who was also at the back waiting patiently for another turn. "Hey, White Flash. How are you?" She asked. "Well, considering that the first party I've ever been to is dedicated to me, I'd say pretty good." I said, still smiling brightly. "This is really your first party? I hope you're having fun." She said. "Oh, I am." I said, telling the honest truth. This was probably the most fun I'd ever had. After a few tries, Applejack was the one that finally pinned the tail in the right place, and the game ended. Though it would've been nice to win, I'm not complaining. I had a really fun time. For the next few hours, I walked around and played other various party games, and talked with everypony. For my first party, it was pretty amazing. When everypony had to leave, Twilight levitated them all down safely to the ground. Eventually, only Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and I remained. "Well, Rainbow Dash, I hate to leave you to the mess, but I should probably get home and check on Spike. I'm sure he's fine but you never know with him." Twilight said. "Oh, don't worry about it, Twilight. Me and Flash have it covered." Rainbow Dash said. "Alright then. I'll see you two later." Twilight said. "See you later!" Rainbow Dash and I said at the same time. Twilight stepped out and levitated back to the ground, and left for home. Rainbow Dash looked around the mess of a room. "Well, do you wanna get this done now or tomorrow?" She asked. "Now is fine." I said, "Might as well get it over with." "I like the way you think." Dash said, and started picking up the random trash that was scattered about the room. I did the same, and after about twenty minutes, the room was as clean as it had been before. Rainbow Dash put the last of the trash in a bin and sat on the ground. "Well, it didn't take as long as I thought it would, but it was still hard work." She said. "Definitely." I said, and collapsed on the ground. Almost dying, making friends, and going to a party tires a pony out. Rainbow Dash got up and walked into the kitchen to put dishes that were on the counter in the sink. "So earlier when you came barreling out of the sky and into the pond. What was that about?" She asked as she put a plate away. "Oh, yeah. That." I started to explain. "Well I was just flying around really high up trying to find Twilight's house and I, uh, tried to land again. And then that happened." Solid explanation. "You know, you're having a really hard time flying. Do you want me to teach you some things I know?" Dash asked. "Um, yeah. That would be great. Thanks." I said. "Don't mention it. It's not like I'm busy or anything. You'll learn how to be an expert flyer like me in no time!" She said with an adorable smile. I smiled too and got up and stretched. "Where's your bathroom?" I asked. "Oh yeah, I never really showed you around. Here, I'll show you." She walked down the hallway and I followed. She showed me a door to the left. "This is my room." She said. We walked further down the hall and showed me another door on the right. "This is the entertainment room. I have a whole bunch of different games and stuff to play when I'm bored. Feel free to use whatever you want." We walked a little further and got to another door. "And here's the bathroom. Go crazy." She said. "Thanks." I said, and quickly walked in and closed the door. I went to the toilet and was about to relieve myself when I realized I had no idea how to use a toilet as a pony. I decided I couldn't hold it anymore, so I just climbed up on the toilet and pissed. Thankfully, it all got into the toilet. I'm gonna have to figure out an easier way later. I flushed the toilet and left the bathroom. I walked down the hall and went back into the living room to see Rainbow Dash eating a sandwich in the kitchen. "You want anything?" She asked. "No thanks, I ate at Fluttershy's." I said. "Why were you at Fluttershy's?" Dash asked. "Well, we were both hungry so we had some sandwiches at her house." I said. "That's probably why she was almost late." Dash said. "Yeah." I walked over to the couch. "Well I'm beat. I'll see you tomorrow." I said, and lay on the couch. "Sweet dreams." Dash said, and I closed my eyes. I eventually heard her walk out and most likely toward her room. So I've been in Equestria for two days now, and it's been better than I could ever have dreamed. And it's only been made better now that I made a friend. I actually made a new friend today. I don't know how I'm here, whether it's a dream, hallucination, or even if I've gone insane, I don't care. I hope it never ends. > 8. Flying Lessons > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke the next morning and again checked to make sure I was still a pony. Hooves. White Fur. Snout. Sure enough, my hopes were confirmed. I slowly got up off the couch and stretched. I looked around. Rainbow Dash wasn't out yet, so she must have still been asleep. I walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast. I rummaged through the fluffy cloud cabinet until I cam upon the sweet delicious apple pie I sought for. I took it out of the small box and put a couple pieces on a plate. I took a bite of the pie and was once again greeted with the explosive flavor of the Apple family's famous treat. So I'm going to meet Blaze today at around three. I thought as I ate, I hope Rainbow Dash and I get done with my flying lessons by then. I looked at the clock hanging in the kitchen. It was already noon and Dash wasn't even up yet. That is, if she ever gets up. I continued to happily chow down on the apple pie until I heard the creaking of a door down the hallway. I looked back to see a groggy Rainbow Dash with her mane still looking like it usually did, walking out of her room. Unless she straightened it before she got out here, ponies must have special mane shape keeping powers or something. "You're up already?" She yawned. "It's, like, noon o'clock." I chuckled. "Well when do you usually get up?" "Around this time. I just felt like complaining." She stretched and blinked the sleepiness away from her eyes. "So, you ready for me to teach you everything I know about flying?" "Uh, sure." I said, taking the last bite out of my pie. "Aren't you hungry?" "Nah," She said. "I had a lot of late night snacks." I watched as she trotted to the front door and opened it. "Shall we?" I watched as she jumped off the front step and into the air. I hurried to the door and looked down, only to see the ground with no sign of Rainbow Dash. "Up here." I looked up to see Rainbow Dash smirking as she hovered upside down above me. "How did you-?" I started. "Get up here so fast? Easy. Pure skill." Dash said with a brash look. She suddenly flew down and in front of me faster than I could even process. "So, you ready to learn how to be awesome?" "Absolutely." I said in awe. I was about to get flying lessons from the one and only Rainbow Dash. Equestria just won't stop being awesome! "Well, you're not going to learn by standing at the door, so get up here!" She bolted above her house to a farther up cloud. I looked at the ground. It sure was a long way down. I gulped and hesitantly flapped my wings, being cautious to keep a steady wing beat. I slowly lifted off of the front step and started ascending into the air. I ever so slowly made my way up to the cloud, where I saw Rainbow Dash pretending to sleep in a mocking manner. She opened one eye and looked up at me. "C'mon man, you took forever! Surely you can fly faster than that!" She said, getting to her feet. "I guess I can try." I said, and spread out my wings. I started flapping them as hard and fast as possible, closing my eyes as I felt the sudden wind rushing through my mane as I became a weightless balloon in the sky, continuing to go even higher. Eventually, I felt nausea start to overtake me, and I stopped my ascent and opened my eyes. I was surprised to see that I hovered several hundred feet above the cloud. I saw Rainbow Dash fly next to me with a look of concern. "Whoa, calm down, dude. Not like that. You'll tire yourself out way too quickly that way." She said. She definitely wasn't wrong. I was feeling extremely tired suddenly and my wings started to ache. "Here, go sit on that cloud and rest your wings and watch me do it." Dash said. I did as I was told with pleasure. As I landed on the cloud, I watched Rainbow Dash fly out into the open and turn to me. "Now, the trick is to pace yourself. Don't use all your energy at once unless you know how to at the right time. If you want to go higher, flap your wings harder depending on how fast you want to go up, and if you want to go lower, flap your wings slower. Like this." Dash demonstrated how to do a basic ascent and descent. "Now you try." I stood up and flapped my wings to get off the cloud. Now that I knew how to do it properly, ascending and descending was much easier than before. "How was that?" I asked Dash. "Good. Much better than last time. Now, I'm going to teach you how to fly forward and how to stay in control. Stay right there and watch me." I hovered and watched Dash. She flapped her wings to bring her body forward until she was at a comfortable speed, and glided and flapped her wings again as she flew around me. "Now for this, you have to have enough speed so your wings can pick up the wind and you can just glide it off. If you want to turn-" She flapped one wing harder than the other and quickly turned. "-just do that. If you want to bank, just lean your body to where yo want to bank." She flew toward me at an alarming speed, but quickly banked to the side before there was a collision. She stopped a few feet away and nodded her head, signaling for me to try. I started to flap my wings until I was soaring through the air at a moderate speed, and I glided around using Rainbow Dash's advice with turning and banking. "There you go! Keep this up and you'll be the second best flyer in all of Equestria!" Dash said as she hovered in one spot and watched me. I soared through the air and around the large marshmallow clouds. I flew up and did a back flip in the air and continued to glide and fly once more over a giant cloud. I stuck my hoof down and ran it through the fluffy mass and I just couldn't help but smile. I noticed I was getting a little far away from Rainbow Dash so I turned around and headed back toward her. I continued to fly and have the time of my life. God, it felt so amazing. The feeling of the wind rushing through my mane as I flew freely in the sky was indescribable. I felt more than joy or adrenaline. I felt alive. Almost like I was born to do this. At some point, Dash had to call me down so she could teach me the next maneuver. "Alright, that's enough. I still have one more thing to teach you." She said as she watched me fly. I started flying toward her, and then I realized that she never told me how to brake. "Uh, how do I stop?" I asked, a little frantic. I was about fifty feet away from Dash and I was only closing in faster each second. "Just flap your wings backward and stop your momentum." She said. She didn't seem the least bit worried that I was about to crash into her. I closed my eyes and flapped my wings backwards as fast as I could in an attempt to stop the flight. I continued to try to slow myself, until I finally came to a gradual halt as I felt something touching the end of my snout. I opened my eyes to see Rainbow Dash just mere inches away from me with our noses connecting. We stood there looking into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity until Dash suddenly backed up. "Uh, right. So, Now I'm going to teach you how to land." She said quickly. She flew quickly down toward the ground and I followed. I swear I saw her face light up bright red before she sped off. As we got near the ground, I stopped and hovered in the air so I could observe how she lands. "Now, all you have to do to land is just slow down enough to make a soft landing." She said as she sped toward the ground but slowed down enough for the landing. She stood on the ground and looked up at me. "Now you try." I flew down toward the ground at a fairly quick speed and about twenty feet before hitting the solid ground, I flapped my wings backward and slowed down enough to slowly let my hooves touch land next to Dash. "You did it! I'll be honest, I never thought I'd see you do a soft landing." Rainbow Dash said with a strange smile. "I never thought I would either." I said, looking down to my hooves to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. Yep, definitely landed. I looked to Dash. "Thanks for teaching me all this stuff. Now I can actually fly places without fear of breaking my leg." Rainbow Dash laughed at that. "Well, just be careful. If you fly too much, your wings will cramp, and if that happens when you're in the sky, you'll fall. And it will hurt. Trust me." "Okay, I'll be careful." I said. I looked around. "Do you know what time it is?" I asked. "Uh, I think it's probably like almost three." Dash said. "It took us that long to do all that?" I asked, surprised. "Yeah. You were flying for a pretty long time." She said. "Wow. I guess time...flies!" I said with a corny smile. Rainbow Dash giggled. "Seriously?" "I had to." I said, and unfolded my wings. "Well, sorry to leave so soon, but I have to meet my friend, Blaze at Sugarcube Corner soon. I'll see you when I get back." "See ya. I'll be at my house if you need me." She said. I flew into the air and glided above Ponyville. Time must travel faster in Equestria or something. That definitely didn't feel like three hours. I thought. Oh well, at least I know how to fly now. I flew through the air, doing random tricks and maneuvers and enjoying myself as I headed for Sugarcube Corner. Being a pegasus is just amazing. > 9. Blaze's Secret > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I flew above Ponyville, still enjoying myself in the cobalt sky and never wanting the glorious moment to end. Eventually though, I remembered that I actually had somewhere to be so I went in search for Sugarcube Corner. It wasn't that difficult to find considering I knew the general area it was in and I had a bird's eye view. I found it and flew down toward the bakery. I found landing as easy as it had been the last time, which was very good news. Now I won't have to worry about hurting myself when I land. I stood outside the building and waited lazily as I leaned against the wall. I looked around a bit and found a clock. It was still ten minutes until three. And of course, I'm easily bored so waiting for ten minutes wasn't going to work out in the slightest. I started walking around town a bit and getting to know my way around better. I don't know why I thought that would help, though. I'm not very good at directions, so I basically just walked around for ten minutes for no reason. At least visiting the town of my dreams was checked off of my newly made bucket list of pony activities. I made my way back to Sugarcube Corner and noticed that Blaze was still nowhere to be found. Ugh. Come on. After a few more minutes of uneventful waiting, I was about to go walking again when I saw him coming around the corner. I waved him over and he trotted over to me. "So, uh. Is there any reason why you wanted to suddenly meet up?" He asked with the same slightly nervous tone as before. "Not really. I knew I would have nothing to do today and wanted to hang out with somepony." I lied. I knew there was something about Blaze since our conversation at the party. I wanted to figure it out. "Come on, let's go and get something to eat and we'll talk." We walked into Sugarcube Corner and were greeted by Pinkie Pie almost. "Hi White Flash! Didn't you just love love LOVE your party? I sure hope so! I know I did! It was so fun! It was even a surprise to me and I planned it!" Pinkie giggled happily. "Yeah, it was really fun." I said. "Ooh! Who's your friend? I've never seen him before! You know what this means? A part-" "Um, no. No parties for me, please." Blaze interrupted. Pinkie's mane suddenly deflated and her face wore a look of disappointment. "But why not?" "Um, I just don't want a party please. I don't really like a lot of attention." Blaze said, as if trying to save himself from disaster. Pinkie's mane inflated back to its normal plush self and her disappointing frown instantly grew into a bright smile. "Okie Dokie Lokie!" She smiled again and zoomed behind the front counter. "You know, I bet you and Fluttershy would be best friends! You're just alike!" "Um, yeah." Blaze barely whispered under his breath. "So what can I get for you two?" Pinkie asked. "We'll just have a bag of cupcakes." I said. Blaze shuddered at the word 'cupcakes', but I thought nothing of it. Pinkie pulled out a sack of cupcakes. "Two bits please!" Crap. I forgot I have no money. "Um, Pinkie, I forgot my money, could I-" "Here! If I can't throw your friend a super special welcoming party then I'll give him a free bag of cupcakes!" She said with another bright smile. "Thanks, Pinkie." I said, returning the smile. Well that was lucky. "No problem!" She said as she gave me the cupcakes. Blaze and I walked out the door and found a place to sit down outside. I sat down the bag of cupcakes and took one out. "So, where did you come from?" I asked Blaze. His eyes got wide. "W-what do you mean?" "I mean like where did you live before you moved to Ponyville." I said. That was a strange reaction. He turned calm again. "Oh, I'm from Fillydelphia." He said. "Is it nice living there?" I asked. "Um, yeah. It's not very clean though." Was all he had to add. I looked him over, still trying to find out what he was hiding. He looked a little nervous and then I noticed something. "You don't have your cutie mark?" I asked. "Well, um, no. But neither do you." He said quickly. "What do you think your talent is?" I asked. "I don't know. I guess I'll find out when I get my cutie mark." I finished my cupcake and noticed that Blaze hadn't even touched one. "Don't you like cupcakes?" I asked. "No. They give me the creeps." "Cupcakes do?" "Yeah. I can't really tell you why." "And why not?" "Because you wouldn't understand." He said, getting a little angry. How could he hate cupcakes? I asked myself. Then I thought about it. ...Cupcakes... "Hey Blaze, you want to see the house I'm thinking about buying?" I asked. "Uh, sure." He said, and we made the journey over to the empty house near Sugarcube Corner, and just as I hoped, the door was closed. "Mind opening the door for me?" I asked with a slightly smug look on my face. If this doesn't confirm my suspicions, nothing will. "Um, no problem." Blaze said, and walked up to the large wooden door. He struggled with the doorknob for a while until he finally had to grab it with both hooves to get it open. Just what I thought would happen. "It took you a while to open that door." I said in a nonchalant tone. "Yeah. I'm not completely used to being a pony yet." Bingo. "You're not a pony, are you?" I asked. Blaze stopped in his tracks and his eyes grew wider than before. "U-uh what are...what are you talking about?" He asked. "Does the word 'brony' have any meaning to you?" "W-what?" "You're a human. And you're a brony. Am I right?" That broke him. He stopped being so nervous and sighed. "I'm terrible at keeping secrets." "Yes you are." "How do you even know about humans?" Blaze asked as we walked through Ponyville. "Well, I'm a human too." I said. "Really? I thought it was just me and Spark." He said. "There's another one?" I asked. "Yeah. He's the guy I'm staying with. He's a little moody at times but he's a good guy once you get to know him." "He has his own house?" I asked. "Well..." Blaze's sentence trailed off as we stopped walking and ended up at a cheap looking dilapidated wooden house. "Is this..?" "Yep." Blaze said. We walked up to the door. "Now, don't come off as hostile in any way whatsoever." Blaze warned. That's a good note to start on. "COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!" I heard shouting from inside the house. "Sounds like he's in a good mood." Blaze said. He opened the door and immediately a small rabbit quickly hopped out of the house and down the road toward the forest. A moment later, a yellow unicorn with a short brown mane fell to the ground in the doorway. He looked at Blaze and hopped up. "BLAZE, WHAT THE FUCK! I ALMOST HAD IT!" He yelled, his nostrils flaring with rage. "And hello to you too." Blaze said with a slight smile. The yellow unicorn sighed. "I guess I'll have to find another one, then. Fucking asshole." "Why do you even need a rabbit?" Blaze asked. "I was going to conduct cruel and inhumane experiments on it and possibly ruin it without it ever having the pleasure to die!" The unicorn said matter-of-factly. We all sat there for a few moments in silence. "It'll help me hone my magic better in one way or another." He quickly turned to me. "Who's this joker?" He asked. "Um, Spark, meet White Flash." Blaze said. "Whoa! Look at you! A two syllable name! Your pony name is longer than mine, therefore it must be better! Whoopty fuckin' doo!" Spark said. "How did you know he was a human?" Blaze asked. "Just look at him! You never see ponies like him on the show. He's obviously human." Spark said. He smirked and held out a hoof. "Welcome to the club, faggot." I reluctantly shook his hoof. What the hell is wrong with this guy? "So let me guess: Shitty life, you hate it all, but a couple days ago you imagine Celestia telling you it'll be okay, you end up here, blah blah blah, yadda yadda, colorful ponies 'n shit." "Um, yeah. How did you know?" I asked. "It's the same story for me and Blaze. You can't move in here by the way. It's crowded as fuck with just the two of us." Spark said. "Don't worry. I'm living with Rainbow Dash." I said. Spark whistled. "Rainbow Dash, huh? Not bad." "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. "Nothing, I'm just saying you're pretty damn lucky that you're living with Rainbow Dash. Don't get all defensive, holy shit." Spark said. "I wasn't getting defensive I was just-" "Okay! Let's go inside!" Blaze said, ending the argument. We walked into the wooden house. It looked like it was barely holding together. "Hey, I put it together with my shitty magic, it's not the best but it's something." Spark said, probably seeing the look on my face. There were two sets of stairs on the left and right leading up to a platform with two beds, and on the first floor was a table, chairs, and a small cabinet with food. Spark walked over to the cabinet and grabbed what looked like a snack to eat. "So, how'd you find out Blaze was a human? Did he fuck up like I thought he would?" Spark asked, putting the snack in his mouth. "Well, I had a suspicion when he freaked out because I was eating cupcakes and he said cupcakes gave him the creeps." I said. Spark spit out what he was chewing with laughter. "Seriously, dude? That fic is for pussies. You should see some of the shit I've read. I've had breakdowns before because of them. I've had breakdowns." "Yeah, well sorry I'm not as 'tough' as you are." Blaze said with a small pout. "Damn right you are." Spark said, and continued to eat. "Why do you have to curse every sentence?" I asked. "Because fuck you that's why!" Spark said. "He's from New Jersey." Blaze said, as if that was enough of an explanation. "Well that explains it." I said a little sarcastically. "So what have you done to make your meaningless life better in the past few days?" Spark asked me. "Well I made friends with the mane six and I live with Rainbow Dash. I'd say I've done quite a bit." I said. "You're friends with all of them? Damn. We can't even seem to find one." Spark said. "Well we met Pinkie Pie today at Sugarcube Corner." Blaze said. "Shut the fuck up! I'll see you two later!" Spark said, and almost fell over the chair on his way out the door, probably to Sugarcube Corner. "Well, he's eager." I said. "Yeah. He's probably just excited to meet one of them. I have no clue who his favorite is." Blaze said. "Who's your favorite?" I asked. "I'd rather not say. I like to keep it a secret." Blaze said. "Okay then. Well, I should probably get going. It was...nice meeting Spark." I said. "Don't worry, he'll get better, that's how he was for me." Blaze said, "I'll be here and wait for Spark to make sure he doesn't try to mutilate any more rabbits." "Sounds like a good idea." I said, and walked out the door. I started walking down the path and thinking about my day. So there are two other bronies in Equestria. One is a timid earth pony and the other is a loud, vulgar unicorn. This is truly the definition of awesome. > 10. A Day With Spark and a Night With Rainbow Dash > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I walked down the streets of Ponyville, wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my day. Well I could go hang out with Rainbow Dash. I thought to myself. It didn't seem like she had anything going on today. Maybe she could teach me more flying tricks or something. That was kind of weird earlier when I almost crashed into her. We just kind of stood there. I wonder if- My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I walked straight into a street post. I rubbed my head and quickly looked around to see if anyone saw my fail. Luckily, there was no pony to be found. Except Spark. "BWAHAHAHAHA!" Spark wailed with laughter. "What the hell were you thinking about, dude? I hope it was worth getting owned by a fucking street post!" He lost it with laughter once again. "Shut up." I said, still rubbing my head. "I'm just joking man." He said between laughs. He walked over to me. I noticed that he didn't have his cutie mark either. "So what brings you here? Blaze bore you to death like he usually does to me?" "Well not exactly. I was just going to find something to do for the rest of the day." I said. "Well then, looks like we're in the same situation, my winged friend!" Spark said. "What about Pinkie Pie?" I asked. "She wasn't there." He said, sounding a little let down. "So I figured, 'Hey, why not go find that new fag I just met' and look! Here you are getting abused by street signs!" We started walking. "Okay, then. What were you planning to do exactly?" I asked. "Do the tests on you that I tried to do to that son of a bitch rabbit." Spark said with a slightly creepy smile. "Uh..." "I'm just kidding man. You really can't take jokes can you? I'll take a note of that for later fun. Nah, I just figured I can hang out with the only other human here who isn't a little pushover like Blaze." "Should we be talking about us being human out in public?" I said a little quietly. "Why the fuck not? It's not like they're gonna do anything." Spark stopped walking and lifted his head. "HEY EVERYONE! WE'RE HUMAN!" He yelled. Some of the ponies gave him a strange look but otherwise, no reaction. "See? No one gives a fuck." He said, and we continued to walk. "You know, you just yelled that to the heavens and on top of all that, you said 'everyone' instead of 'everypony' I hope that-" "Oh don't start that 'everypony' shit. Just don't." Spark said. "They'll all think you're weird if you don't." I said. "I don't give a fuck. It's not like I want friends here. I've lived my entire life without them, I can live in pony land without them." "You never had any friends?" I asked. "Nah. People always said I was obnoxious and annoying. I never even had any other obnoxious annoying friends to hang around with. So I stayed the fuck away from those stuck up pricks and they stayed away from me. Who needs them though. I'm fine by myself." His head slowly went down and his face turned into a sad expression as he said the last sentence. We walked in silence for a few moments until he spoke up and wiped the sadness from his face. "What about you? I'm sure someone like you is just bursting with people who like you." "Yeah, not so much." I said. "Kinda figured that." Spark said. We walked in silence for a little longer than last time. "But you know what?" I said, causing us to stop walking and Spark to perk up his head. "We're living a new life now. We're in a place where everyone accepts you and it doesn't matter how you act or what you do, there will always be friends for you. This is Equestria for God's sake. It's no time to think about our human lives. This is time to think about our better lives." Spark smirked. "You know what? You're right. I'm living in the universe of the show that saved my goddamn life. I shouldn't be sulking about my shitty life. I'm a motherfuckin' pony! I'm going to live like I never did when I was human. I'm gonna enjoy every minute of this." I smiled. "That's the spirit!" "But I'm still not saying 'everypony'. That's where I draw the fucking line." Spark said. "Fine by me." I said. "You know, I already like you much better than Blaze. That's not much, but it's something." We continued to walk through Ponyville. "Where are we even going?" I asked. By this time, we were getting near the end of town, and I could see Rainbow Dash's house in the distance. "I have no idea." He looked over to Dash's cloud house. "So how is it? Being able to fly and sleep on clouds and shit?" "Um, well, I can't really describe it. It's pretty amazing." I said. "Yeah? Well good for you. I got stuck with a fucking dildo on my head." Spark said. "Do you know how much I hate unicorns? They're the stupidest fucking race in the entire goddamn show. I mean just look at this fucking thing. It's a motherfucking disgrace. At least now I can perform simple tasks without using hooves! That's just about what I could do as a human! Hoo-fucking-ray." Judging from Spark's language, it sounded like he was back to his normal self. "Yeah, well at least you don't have to deal with wing boners." I said. "Oh my God, that's an actual thing?" He asked. "Yep." It was true, the past few days I've woken up with my wings fully extended and frankly, it was annoying. "Dude, that's gotta suck especially since you're living with Rainbow Dash. Does she say anything?" "Well I don't think she's noticed me with one." "What does it feel like?" "Like two giant mega boners are sprouting out of your spine." "Damn dude. That sucks. Double whammy right fuckin' there." We sat and looked out into the open fields near Ponyville for a few moments. "So is Rainbow Dash your favorite?" Spark asked. "Yep. Since day one." I said. "What about you? Do you have a favorite?" "Of course I have a favorite, don't be a dumbass." He said. "I just won't tell." "Why don't either Blaze or you want to tell me your favorite ponies?" I asked. "Well Blaze is just a fuckin' pussy and I don't tell because I don't fucking feel like it." "Fair enough. I guess." I said, not fully satisfied. I looked into the sky and noticed it was starting to become dusk. "What's wrong? Have a date or something?" Spark asked when he noticed me looking up. "Um, no. I was just checking the time of day. Wow, today went stupidly fast." I said. "You got that right. I don't even think I took a shit today." "...Um..." "What? Can't two guys talk about takin' a shit? Did that change when we came to Equestria? I fucking hope not. Shit is a serious matter that requires a lot of thought and care to become a good conversation subject." "Alright, then. How do you even go to the bathroom as a pony?" I asked. "I don't fucking know dude. It's fucking complicated." After a few minutes of us talking back and forth about various bathroom problems, Spark went on his way back to his house. "Better get back to Blaze." He said. "No telling what that little shit has done to my stuff. He's always fucking moving it around for no goddamn reason and then I can never find it. But anyways, see you around, shit head." And he left down the road toward his house. Well that was...nice I guess. Spark isn't as bad once you get to know him. But how him and Blaze can live together, I'll never know. I better get back to Dash's house. I'll have to get plenty of rest for my weather pony training tomorrow. I extended my wings and took flight, goofing off a bit before I actually got to Rainbow Dash's house. I opened the door to the living room with the lights on, but Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be found. I walked into the kitchen and fixed myself another slice of apple pie. As I ate I realized it was incredibly quiet and dull in the house without anypony to talk to. I looked at the clock to see that it was only eight o'clock. I ate the last bite of my slice of pie and stood in the kitchen, more bored than I had ever been. Of course there was no internet so I was literally lost on what to do for fun until I got tired. Wait a second, there's that room that Dash said was good to hang around in when I'm bored. I could check that out. I thought, and walked down the hall and opened the door. It was the coolest room ever. Directly to my right was a hot tub. To my left was some kind of basketball goal modified for ponies. In the middle of the room was a pool table. Past that was a small set of stairs leading up to a slightly elevated part of the room with a bar counter with chairs and coolers with cold drinks behind it. To the left of the bar were an assortment of chairs and couches looking out a window into the sky, and to the right of the bar was a foosball table with a cabinet next to it. And at the bar sitting on a stool and drinking something was Rainbow Dash. I quietly walked up to her and tapped her shoulder. She nearly jumped out of her skin and she turned on the stool to face me. "Oh, it's you. You scared me." She said. "Dash, this room is..." I said. "Awesome?" She suggested. "Awesome." I confirmed. I looked at her drink. "Is that..?" "It sure is! Good old apple cider! You want some?" "Uh, yeah. Sure." I forgot that there probably isn't alcohol in Equestria. I was a little surprised for a minute to see Rainbow Dash drinking at a bar. She poured me a cup of apple cider and I sat down on a stool next to her. I looked around the room some more. "It is just ridiculous how awesome this is." "I know right. I always go in here when I'm bored and just lay around and be lazy." She said. "Were you here all day?" I asked. "Pretty much. I didn't have anything to do today so I thought 'Why not be lazy in the greatest room known to ponykind?' so I did!" Rainbow Dash said with a cute smile. "Weren't you bored?" I asked. "A little, but there was really nothing else to do." She said. "Well you could have told me. I would've hung out with you." I said. "Well yeah but you were busy and I didn't want to bother you." Dash said. "I wouldn't have been bothered. I was looking for something to do myself after a while." I said. "Oh. Well then do you want to make up for lost time? There's tons of stuff to do here." She said. I smiled. "Sure," "Yeah! I win again!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "No way! Best five out of nine?" I asked. She smirked. "You're on!" We were playing foosball and I was getting my flank kicked. I hadn't even made a single goal by the time Rainbow Dash had won. It didn't help that I had no idea how to play with hooves, but I sure tried. After Dash made a few goals I finally made one. "Ha! Take that!" I exclaimed. "Lucky shot! It won't happen again!" Dash defended. "Oh yeah?" "Yeah!" "You're on!" Ironically, it never did happen again, but I wasn't too upset that I lost. Not too many people can say they played foosball with Rainbow Dash. "Look at that! I'm actually winning!" I said as I sunk another ball. I never knew I was good at pool until I actually tried it. "Yeah yeah, don't get too confident. I just haven't practiced at this is all." Rainbow Dash said. "Sure, Dash." She smiled. "You may be good at this, but I still won foosball." "So you're bringing that back on, I see how it is." "I sure am." Rainbow Dash said as she sunk a ball of her own. She looked up and smiled. "Your turn!" "And she scores!" Rainbow Dash said as she dunked the basketball on the goal. She was beating me once more in the small game of basketball we had going. Of course we used our wings so there was a lot of bumping and stealing before either of us scored. Every time I tried to dunk the ball, Rainbow Dash would always tackle me before I could, causing us to tumble around the room before we finally crash landed somewhere, and we went back to the game. I was down 6-0 and I had the ball. I tried one last time to make a dunk. I flew around, dodging Rainbow Dash's attempts to steal the ball. I flew up as fast as I could with the ball and I was literally inches away from making the point, but Dash tackled me again. We both flew wildly out of control and I caught the faintest glimpse of the hot tub before I realized I was heading straight into it. I quickly twisted myself upright and flapped my wings backwards with all my might. I ended up hovering inches above the surface of the water. That was close. "LOOK OUT!" I felt Rainbow Dash land on my back and we both fell into the hot tub. We were both underwater. Luckily the water hadn't been heated yet so it was room temperature. I opened my eyes to see Dash's face inches from mine. We both quickly surfaced, still inches away from each other. I was the one to back up this time and I sat against the hot tub wall. Rainbow Dash giggled. "Sorry about that." She sat against the other hot tub wall. "At least this saves us both a bath." I laughed. "Yeah I guess so." We sat there awkwardly for a few moments. "Well, we might as well relax since we're already in here." Dash said, and she turned around to press a button to start the water heater. A few minutes later, the water was at a very soothing temperature. We both sunk down until our hind hooves touched. "Sorry." We both said, and I scooted over so we could both have leg room. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the hot water. "This has been nice." I said. "We should do this again sometime. It was fun." "Yeah. Maybe next time you'll beat me. Or maybe not." She said. I peeked open an eye to see her neck deep in the water with her eyes closed as well, with a smile on her face. Her wet mane glistened in the light and it looked beautiful. I closed my eye again and we sat in silence, enjoying the moment. "Hey Flash?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Yeah?" I said opening my eyes to see Dash still neck deep in water but with her eyes open as well. "Thanks for spending this time with me. It really means a lot." Dash said. "You don't have to thank me." I said. "I enjoy spending time with you." "Really?" "Well yeah. We have a lot of fun together and you're really the only pony I can always count on." She looked down and gave a small blush. "No pony's ever said that before." "Well they should because it's true." "Well. I had a lot of fun too." Rainbow Dash said. "Really the only pony I could play games with like that was Applejack, and she can't fly." I couldn't help but smile at that. Rainbow Dash smiled too and scooted closer to me toward the middle of the tub. "So you have your weather pony training tomorrow?" She asked. "Yeah. I hope I qualify. It's the only job I have going for me." I said. "I'm sure you'll do fine. It's just a simple obstacle course to make sure you can quickly control the clouds." I leaned forward. "I sure hope so." Rainbow Dash scooted a little closer. "So are you doing anything after your training tomorrow?" She asked. "Not that I know of." I said. "Well then, would you want to maybe hang out together then?" She asked. I smiled. "I'd love to." Rainbow Dash scooted even closer until our noses were touching. "Great." She said, and then kissed my cheek. "See you then." She climbed out of the tub and used her wings to shake all of the water off in an unbelievably short time, and she left the room. I was left there, speechless, my face burning red hot, and my mouth wide open. I also noticed that my wings were completely extended. Did...did that just happen? > 11. I Get a Job > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ... ... ... ...wat... I was still sitting in the hot tub not even able to comprehend what had just happened. ...wat... I shook my head and snapped out of whatever trance I was in. I finally realized I was still sitting in the hot tub so I got out and dried off using my wings the way Rainbow Dash did. I looked up at a clock above the cider bar. It was almost ten o'clock. I should probably hit the hay. I tried to walk out of the room when my wings hit the door frame. They were still slightly extended. I tried with all my might to fold them back in, and eventually, I succeeded. I walked into the living room and collapsed on the couch. Well that was...surprising. I thought. I didn't expect that. I would never expect that to happen. I mean, I'm ME. She must have been tipsy from apple cider or something. There is no way. Maybe it was just a friendly gesture. Yeah, that's it. Maybe things like that are different in Equestria. I convinced myself that was the reason, and I finally lay my head on the pillow. I yawned and my eyelids grew heavy. But still though...what if... I couldn't even finish my last thought before I drifted off to sleep. "Hello, everyone." I heard a familiar voice say. I was suddenly laying in a white...void of some kind. I opened my eyes to see Princess Celestia standing in front of me. To my left was Blaze laying on top of Spark. "Get off of me, homo." Spark said, and shoved Blaze off of him and he rolled onto his back. "Please refrain from using foul language." Celestia glared at Spark. "I'll do whatever the fuck I-" Spark stopped when he looked over to see the princess. His eyes went wide. "Um, uh, sorry Princess." He said. "Indeed." Celestia said, and looked over all of us. "I trust you three are enjoying your new lives?" "Yes." "Absolutely." "Fuck yeah!" Celestia glared to Spark once again. "Sorry." He said, and looked down. "Right. I'm glad you three have already met, and that your new lives are better than when you were human. All I ask is one favor of you all: don't let any ponies know where you are from. It would cause too much confusion among everypony, and it would be very hard to explain." Celestia said. Blaze and I looked at Spark. "What? Do I have snot hanging out of my nose or something?" He asked, and started wiping his snout. Blaze and I shook our heads and looked back at the princess. "If that's the only thing we have to do to stay in this place, then we promise we won't tell." Blaze said. "Yes. We promise." I said. "Yeah, sure." Spark said, looking cross eyed at his snout to check if there was anything left. Celestia smiled. "Great. I'm glad we could come to an understanding. I hope you all have a wonderful day." After that, everything faded to black. I suddenly woke up on the couch with my eyes wide. I sat up and looked around. It was light outside and I could hear birds chirping. I wiped my eyes and got off of the couch. I walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast when I noticed a note on the counter. Flash, I went to visit Twilight for a little while, so I might not be back before you leave for your training. Good luck! -Rainbow Dash At least she left a note. I thought as I went to the cabinet to make another slice of pie. I looked at the clock. It was already half past nine. Well, I still have a little more than an hour. I guess I could go out and stretch my wings. I finished the pie and walked over to the front door and swung it open. I breathed in the cool, fresh air as I jumped and let myself fall through the air before I opened my wings and took flight. I glided through the air at a leisurely speed and soared around in the sky. I closed my eyes and spun over on my back and continued to fly through the air. Man, flying is great. At that moment, I slammed into something incredibly soft and I felt myself become enveloped in it. I opened my eyes to see that I had crashed into a cloud. I stuck my head out of the top and looked around. It didn't look like anypony saw. I shook the cloud off of my body, and heard laughing directly below me. I looked down and saw Blaze and Spark rolling on the ground laughing their asses off. I rolled my eyes and flew down to them. "Oh my God dude! Again?" Spark said, still laughing. "You should really look where you're going!" "The best part was when you looked all around to see if anyone saw!" Blaze said while chuckling. "Oh my God, your face when you saw us was the best!" Spark said, and they both went into another fit of laughter. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up you two. At least I can feel clouds." I said. "I'm glad I can't." Spark said, starting to calm down from the laughing. Blaze wiped a tear from his eye. "You just made my day. That was awesome." "Well I'm glad at least you guys are happy." I said. "Why? What's wrong?" Blaze asked. "I have to go to training for my job as a weather pony." "Is that all? Quit being a lazy ass and get that shit done, bro." Spark said. "At least you have a job." "Yeah I guess." I said, and looked at the ground. "That's not all that's bothering you, is it." Blaze said. I looked at him. "How can you tell?" "The way you talk. I can sense this kind of stuff." "He's just bullshittin' you." Spark said. "Even I can tell you're worried about something. So go ahead! Tell us your troubles in this new world in which we live!" "Well, this isn't really the kind of stuff you talk about though." I said. Spark put his hoof on my shoulder. "Dude, we talked about taking a shit and boners sprouting out of your back. What else could there be?" "Well, last night Rainbow Dash asked me to go on what I think is going to be a date, and then she kissed me." I said. Spark whistled. "Well look at you, stud muffin. I still don't understand why you're so worried." "Well, she's a horse for one." I said. Spark slapped me with the side of his hoof. "YOU'RE A HORSE, DUMBASS!" I rubbed my cheek. "Yeah, but I used to be human, and that's just...weird." "Just go for it. You're supposed to do here what you couldn't do when you were human, and I know you never went on a date." Blaze suddenly said. "I..." He got me there. "See? Even Blaze knows what he's talking about. You have nothing to lose." Spark said. "Well still. If we do end up actually being in a relationship...I'm no clopper and-" Spark took action. "YOU" Slap. "ARE" Slap. "A" Slap. "PONY!!!" "Um, ow." I said, rubbing my cheeks. "THEN QUIT BITCHING ABOUT IT AND GO!" Spark said. I sighed. "Fine then. Why not." I said. "Good." Spark said. "But I still have no idea what to do. I've never been on a date." I said. "How about this: Blaze and I will stick around your date and be somewhere you can see us. We'll give you signs on what to do and what not to do." Spark said. "But wait, you guys haven't been on a date either. How would you know what to do?" I asked, a little skeptical. "Trust me on this one. I know how this stuff works. I'll give signs to tell you what to do, and Blaze will sit next to me and do nothing like the bitch he is!" "Hey, I-" "And by the end, it'll all be perfect. I mean really, what could go wrong? Don't worry bro, we got you." I smiled. "Thanks guys." "Hey, no problem." Spark said. "Now get out there and get a job, you deadbeat motherfucker!" "Alright. I will." I said, and started walking off. "Good luck, faggot!" I heard Spark's encouraging words as I headed into Ponyville. Now. Where was that building? I walked through Ponyville, trying to remember the surroundings around the weather ponies building. I wandered aimlessly until I finally found the familiar building that I signed up in. I walked through the door and went to the pony at the desk. "Um, excuse me. I'm supposed to have my weather pony training today." I said. "Oh yes. You are just in time. Follow me." The stallion said, and led me to a door on the left. He opened the door that led outside and I saw the obstacle course in full view. At the beginning there were several hoops made of clouds, then those led to a group of clouds that I guessed I had to split apart. The last part was composed of about twenty rain clouds that I guessed I had to clear. "You ready for training?" I heard a mare ask. I was so busy taking in the details of the course that I didn't even notice her walk up to me. "Um, yeah. Yes ma'am!" I said, not really sure what to say. She laughed. "No need for that, this isn't the military. Just call me Bright Light. I'm your weather adviser. Or for a lack of a better term, your boss." Bright Light was a yellow pegasus with a light orange flowing mane and tail. She was wearing some kind of blue uniform. "Um, alright. Sorry. I'm White Flash." I said. "Nice to meet you White Flash. I'm sure you'll be a great addition to the weather team." She said, and we shook hooves. "Now, all you have to do is fly through those hoops, split apart that large cloud into ten smaller clouds, and then take out those rain clouds in the given time and you've got the job." "Alright. Seems easy enough." I said. "I think I'm ready." "Love the enthusiasm." She said, and took out a stop watch from her pocket. "Ready?" "Ready. "3...2...1...Go!" I took off straight through the first hoop with ease, as well as the second, third and fourth. I sped through them so fast that I barely had time to slow down to turn to go through the next group of hoops. I flew through the last one, and flew over to the huge cloud. I took chunks of it in armfuls and separated them throughout the sky until I counted ten evenly sized clouds. At last, I sped over to each rain cloud and bucked them with my back hooves as quickly as I could. I zoomed to the next one as soon as I took out the one before it. As I got to the last one and bucked it, I looked back and admired my work. Everything was as it was supposed to be. I flew back down to Bright Light and landed next to her. "Two minutes! That's a weather pony record!" She said, her eyes wide as she looked at the stop watch. "So...does that mean I get the job?" I asked. "Definitely! Be here tomorrow at around three to help clear the skies. Welcome to the team, White Flash." I smiled as wide as I could. "Yes yes yes! I promise I won't let you down!" I shot into the air out of excitement. "WOOOHOOO!!!" I yelled as I did a backflip and sped off through the sky. Finally! A job! Now I can actually have money to spend for once! I flew around the sky until I realized something: I have no idea where I'm going. I stopped in midair and looked behind me. I saw Ponyville in the far distance. I smirked to myself. Man, I'm getting good at this flying thing. I thought, and I started back toward Ponyville, not in any special rush. > 12. Date > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I flew back toward Ponyville leisurely, trying not to tire out my wings. That little burst of energy I had was a little too much, and my wings were slowly but surely aching more and more. I was almost in town when I couldn't take it anymore. I started flying toward a nearby cloud to rest, but at this point, I was feeling unbearable pain in my wings. They were almost impossible to move, but I got closer to the cloud. I was almost there, then the worst thing happened. My wings suddenly cramped up and froze. A wave of panic came over me as I missed the cloud by a few inches and plummeted through the air. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!" I screamed as I fell straight downward. I was falling for so long, I knew I wouldn't make it out without serious injury. Right when I thought I would fall forever, I suddenly landed on something soft. I opened my eyes and found myself laying on a huge cloud. I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Celestia for being a pegasus! I thought, and sat up on the cloud. I could barely feel my wings as I tried to rub them in an attempt to make them feel better. I looked at them. One was slightly folded back while the other was completely extended and wouldn't move. "Well this sucks." I said, and looked forward. Luckily, the view from this cloud wasn't bad at all. I could see almost all of Ponyville and all the ponies walking around. I was on the lowest cloud in sight, so I could partially make out the faces of some of the ponies. I lay on my stomach and looked down over the peaceful town. Well, looks like I'm stuck up here. "Your wings cramp up?" I heard a familiar voice beside me. I looked over and sure enough, Rainbow Dash was standing next to me trying to hold back a grin. I sighed. "Yep." She giggled. "Don't worry, they'll feel better soon. So how'd your training go?" I sat up and my mood brightened when I remembered the training. "Oh yeah. I got the job!" Dash smiled. "That's great! When do you start?" "I'm supposed to meet my weather adviser tomorrow to clear the sky." "Who's your weather adviser?" "Bright Light." "She's my adviser too. That means we're on the same weather team. I'll show you how a pro does it tomorrow. I can clear the sky in ten seconds flat!" She said it! My inner brony squealed on the inside. "Well apparently I have the fastest training time." I said. "Really? Looks like I'll have some competition then." We shared a laugh and sat there a while, enjoying the day. Eventually, my wings started bothering me again. I groaned and tried rubbing one to fold it back in but failed. "You're wings are still hurting?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Yeah. A lot." I said. I eventually gave up with a defeated sigh. I never knew extra appendages could hurt so bad. Dash had a concerned look on her face. "Lay down on your stomach." "Why?" I asked. "Do you want your wings to stop hurting or not?" She said. I quickly collapsed on my stomach and looked over to her. "Now what?" She was now standing at my side. "Hold still. This might hurt." She said. "What are you-OOOOWWWWWW!!!" Rainbow Dash pounded both of her hooves into the base of each of my wings and it felt like the pain of landing in a valley of conveniently placed sharp rocks. A moment later though, a wave of bliss washed over my wings as they stopped aching. "Ahhhhhh..." I couldn't help but blurt out my relief. Rainbow Dash carefully handled my wings and folded them back into place. I lay my head on the cloud and enjoyed my wings not being a constant knife in my spine. Dash lay on her stomach beside me. "Better?" "Better." I said. Dash smiled and looked out over Ponyville. "So what do you want to do now?" She asked. "Not fly." I said. Dash laughed at that and continued to look over the small town. "We have the whole day. We could talk about random stuff, we could go somewhere and hang out, we could stay here and enjoy the day, It makes no difference to me." I said. "Well, you wanna go walking around Ponyville?" She asked. "Sure." I said, and stood up and spread my wings. "I can feel them again!" Rainbow Dash laughed and got up as well. "You up for a race?" She asked. "My wings just cramped up, giving me indescribable pain, not to mention I almost died, and you're challenging me to a race? You're on." I said. Rainbow Dash smiled and spread her wings. "Alright then. How about first one to Sugarcube Corner?" "Fair enough." I said. "321 go!" I quickly said, and sped off into town. I looked back, expecting to see Rainbow Dash still back at the cloud, but she was no where to be seen. I looked forward, a little confused. How could she have...? I was so preoccupied with where Rainbow Dash could have went that I didn't even notice when I slammed into a bush. Luckily, the bush cushioned my fall, but it still hurt. I got up off the ground and looked around. There was Rainbow Dash, smiling and waving at me in front of Sugarcube Corner. She trotted over to me and I barraged her with questions. "How did you-But I- You were-" She silenced me with her hoof. "Like I said. Pure skill. Now come on, let's go enjoy the day!" She said, and started trotting through town. I smiled and caught up to her and we walked side by side. "So what did you do at Twilight's that was so important?" I asked. "Oh, nothing. I just needed some advice that's all." Dash said. "Advice for what?" I asked. "Oh, you know. Stuff." Dash said with a smile. We continued to walk through town until we came to the pond that I nearly died in. "So what are we going to do here?" I asked. "I don't know." Dash said. "I figured with your genius and my awesome, we could come up with something." I thought for a moment. "Well, there's a pond. We could swim." Rainbow Dash smiled. "Unoriginal yet good idea. Let's do it!" I watched as Rainbow Dash flew straight up into the air almost to the clouds, and she folded her wings and let herself fall. "CANNONBALL!" She yelled as she plummeted to the water, and resurfaced a moment later. She sprayed a stream of water out of her mouth. "Come on in, the water's fine!" She yelled. I smiled and flew into the air as well. I didn't get as high up as Rainbow Dash, but I got close. I started flying downward as fast as I could, getting closer and closer to the water's surface. At the last second. I folded my wings and went into a cannonball position and fell into the water right next to Dash. I felt the water rush all around me as I dove in at a great speed. I resurfaced a few moments later and took a deep breath. "That was awesome." I said. Dash giggled. "You've never done that before?" "I've never been able to fly like that before." I said. Dash flipped over on her back and started swimming backwards. I never really knew how to swim well, but I could at least keep afloat. I flipped on my back, put my hooves behind my head and closed my eyes. This is the life. Just as I thought I could spend the next few moments in peace, I felt water splash onto my face. I spit up some water and got off of my back and started treading water to see Rainbow Dash with a guilty smile. Oh, it's on. I returned the favor with a wave of water straight to her face. Her wet mane covered her eyes and she laughed. She sent another wave of water toward me, but this time I dodged it and splashed her again. She lifted her mane out of her eyes. "You wanna play like that, huh?" She said, and suddenly, her wings became water machine guns. Her wings splashed so much water into my face that I went temporarily blind, and when I could see again, I was greeted with a smug looking Rainbow Dash. I spit some water out of my mouth and cracked my neck. "And now wings come into play." I said, and started sending water toward her with my wings. She backed up so the water wouldn't reach her, and sent another splash of water at my face. I flew slightly out of the water so my wings were barely above the surface, and started flapping them with all my might. The force of my wings sent a wave straight into Rainbow Dash. She shook off the water and gave me a competitive look. She flew out of the water and up to cloud level. Uh oh. I thought, and Rainbow Dash dove straight toward the water. She went under about ten feet away from me, sending a huge wave into my face. I quickly shook it off. Is that it? That wasn't very-WHOOOOAAA!! I suddenly felt something grab my hind legs and I went under water. I opened my eyes and saw Rainbow Dash pointing upward. A race to the surface, huh? I thought, and nodded my head at her. We both took off swimming as fast as we could to the surface until we both suddenly popped up, soaked but having a blast. I shook off the water. "What are we doing with our lives?" I asked. "I don't know, but it's fun!" Dash giggled. "Where the fuck could they be?" Spark asked as he and Blaze scoured Ponyville in search for their pegasus friend. "I don't know. There aren't many places to go on dates here." Blaze said. "I hope he didn't pussy out. I swear, if he pussied out, I'm never going to let him hear the end of it." Spark said. They had seen White Flash spring out of the training area of the weather ponies building and they'd been looking ever since. "Maybe he's somewhere in the clouds." Blaze said. "He better fucking not be." "Why are you so concerned about how it goes?" Blaze asked. "Because if he fucks it up, he has no more chances. I'm not gonna let that motherfucker die alone." Spark said. They were still searching Ponyville when they came to the outskirts. "That's it. We're never going to find him." Blaze said, and at that moment, they heard voices. "Shut up, Blaze. You hear that?" Spark said, and the voices continued. "It sounds like Flash and Rainbow Dash. Quick, hide!" Spark quickly dove behind a bush and Blaze desperately looked around for a hiding place, until he decided to hide behind a light pole. Spark face hoofed but turned his gaze toward where he heard the voices. Sure enough, there came White Flash and Rainbow Dash walking down the path, talking and soaking wet. What the fuck did they-? Nevermind. Spark thought, and continued to watch them. They walked passed the bush and eventually the light pole Blaze was taking refuge behind. Once they were far enough away, Spark got out from the bush and Blaze walked up to him. "So, looks like we found him, huh?" Blaze said. Spark put his hoof on Blaze's shoulder. "You are the biggest fucking disgrace I have ever had the displeasure to meet. But that's why we're friends! Now come on, we have some spying to do!" "So I was thinking maybe we could go to the park next or something." Rainbow Dash said as we walked on a path into town. "Sure!" I said. We were still soaked from the pond, but we didn't care. We would dry out eventually. As we walked into town I saw a bush rustle out of the corner of my eye. I didn't really pay any attention to it, but then I saw Blaze lamely trying to hide behind a light post. And here they are, I thought. My expert date advisers. Rainbow Dash didn't seem to notice him though, so we kept walking. It didn't take long for us to get to the Ponyville park. Part of it was open grass and the other part was filled with various playground equipment. Of course, Rainbow Dash ran for the playground part. She started climbing on the monkey bars with full enthusiasm while I stayed on the side and watched. "Um, Dash? Aren't we a little too old to play on a playground?" I asked. She suddenly lifted herself up and hung upside down to face me. "We just had a water splashing fight. We're definitely not too old for a playground." She said with a smile. "But playgrounds are made for fillies and colts. Why would we want to play on them?" "Because it's fun! Lighten up, Flash. It doesn't matter who something is made for. If it's fun, then it's fun that no pony can stop me from having!" Dash said, and flipped over continuing to climb the monkey bars. She made a very good point. That's the reason I'm here in the first place. I tried something that wasn't made for me and it turned out to be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. "What the hay." I said, and climbed on the monkey bars as well. Rainbow Dash waited at the end and I climbed over to her and got on the ground. "See? It's still fun." She said. "Yeah, I guess." I said. "C'mon, I know you're a colt at heart." Rainbow Dash smiled. I smiled back. "Yeah. I really am." "Then come on!" Dash said, and started running up the stairs of a small castle. I grinned and quickly followed. Luckily, there were no other ponies to see us. That is, until I remembered Spark and Blaze. I looked over and saw them on a bench, both with newspapers covering their faces. Spark peeked over the newspaper and gave me a disapproving frown, then he said something to Blaze. I blocked them out of my mind and continued to follow Rainbow Dash around the playground. "Do you see this shit, Blaze? What the fuck are they doing?" Spark asked as he watched White Flash roam around a playground castle. "Yeah, I'm sot really sure this is how a date is supposed to go." Blaze said. "We need to talk to him somehow, but it has to be subtle so that Rainbow Dash doesn't notice." "I have an idea." Spark said. He hid behind the bench and peeked his head out. "HEY FAGGOT! GET YOUR PATHETIC ASS OVER HERE!" White Flash looked over to Blaze sitting at the bench and Spark waving a hoof over. Flash looked at Rainbow Dash who didn't seem to notice the noise, and he quickly flew over to the bench. "What do you guys want?" He said, and was quickly pulled behind the bench by Spark. "What the fuck are you doing, dude?" Spark asked. "I'm enjoying time with Rainbow Dash." He said. "No, what you're doing is making yourself look like a little fag with no life goals that doesn't understand how to act socially acceptable in this technicolor pony world!" "I'm...what?" "I don't know, I'm talking out of my ass here, but a playground? Seriously? Even you can do better than that!" "Well what am I supposed to do then?" "I don't give a fuck, as long as your not being a little bitch in a playground." Flash sighed. "Fine. I'll do something." "That's my boy. Now get out there before she thinks you left!" After my little chat with Spark, I quickly flew to the castle behind Rainbow Dash, who was at the top of the castle looking around. She didn't seem to notice I left. I walked up to her. "You really like playgrounds, don't you?" I asked. "Yeah. Back in Cloudsdale, there weren't many playgrounds so I go here whenever I have the chance to. They're just not as fun when you're older though." Dash said. "Well, you know what's fun no matter what age you are?" I asked. "What?" "Racing." I said with a competitive look. "You want to race again? You lost last time." "Don't be so sure of yourself. I might pull through this time." I said. "Okay then, you're on. Where to?" "First one to the outside of Ponyville going that way." I said pointing straight forward. I looked to Spark for approval and he just held out a hoof. I faintly heard him say "Fuck, I have no thumbs!" So I guessed it was meant to be a thumbs up. "Alright. But this time, no head starts." Rainbow Dash said. "Fair enough." I said and got into a ready position. "3...2...1...Go!" Rainbow Dash said, and we both rocketed into the air. We flew side by side, both of us trying to surpass each other. I passed her...she passed me....I passed her...she passed me. It was a constant battle until we both passed the edge of town. "I was totally first!" "In your dreams! I was ahead of you!" "Yeah right, I was leading the whole time!" "No you weren't!" After our little argument, we laughed it off and deemed it a tie. We walked together back into Ponyville, discussing what we should do next. "Well, I'm kind of hungry, and it's probably around five o'clock by now...do you want to get something to eat?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Sure, I'm getting hungry too." I said, and Dash led the way toward a building that I guessed was a restaurant. I looked around to see if Blaze and Spark had arrived yet, and sure enough, I saw them walking and trying to act casual while clearly staring straight at me. I shook my head and followed Rainbow Dash inside. "I love this place." Dash said as we took a seat at a booth, sitting across from each other. "It's not super fancy and the food is really good." Eventually, a waiter came by and asked us what we wanted. I didn't really know what was good, so I ordered a hayburger with hay fries. Rainbow Dash got the same. "You know, today is probably the most fun I've had since coming to Ponyville." I said while we waited for our food. "Really? I would have thought you would have done loads of fun stuff." Rainbow Dash said. "Nope. No one knows how to have fun like you do." I said. "Now you're just saying that." Dash said. "No really. You and I have the same type of fun standards that no pony else can relate to." I said. "I know right! No pony else ever wants to just goof off and hang around like we do." We sat there for a few more minutes talking about other random things until our food arrived. There was something very familiar about our waiter this time though... He suddenly winked at me and I figured it out. Spark, are you kidding me? Our waiter was Spark. I don't know how he got the food, or the permission to serve us, but he was definitely our waiter. Once he gave us our food, he walked away backwards and kept staring at me. "Do you know him?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Uh, yeah. Kinda." I said. We started eating and continued to talk. "You know, I'm really glad I met you, Flash." Rainbow Dash said after a while. "Why is that?" I asked. "Because you're just like me. We have the same sense of humor, we both like the same stuff. I finally have somepony that I can really trust and relate to." I smiled. "Really? Thanks." I said. She smiled back. "No problem!" We finished the last of our meal and I looked over and found Blaze and Spark sitting at a table. Spark just gave me a nod and I looked back at Dash. Our original waiter came by with the bill and Dash left the money and a tip on the table. We got up and walked out the door, and I noticed it was starting to get dark. "Well, it's getting late. How should we end our day of awesome?" I asked. Rainbow Dash smiled. "I have an idea. Follow me." She took off into the air and I followed. We flew leisurely for a bit before I asked, "Where exactly are we going?" "You'll see." Was all Dash said. We eventually flew out of Ponyville and toward a gigantic rock. "Are we going there?" "You'll see." We flew up to the top of the rock, where there was a flat spot big enough for both of us to sit on. We both landed there and sat down. We only had a couple feet of free space, but it was good enough. I whistled. "Look at the view from here!" I said. "And even better, turn around." Dash said. I turned around and I was greeted with the most beautiful sunset I had ever laid my eyes on. The golden sky shimmered as the sun slowly descended into the horizon. "Whoa..." Was all I could say. Rainbow Dash smiled and looked at it with me. "This is amazing." I said, entranced in the sun's beauty. "I know. I always come up here to watch the sunset before nightfall, so I thought I'd share it with you." Dash said. "Well thank you. I couldn't ask for anypony better to watch it with." I said. Dash blushed a little and scooted closer. "It always was kind of lonely up here without anypony to talk to. I'm really glad you're here." She said. "I'm glad I am too." I said. I wonder if Spark found his way up here. I thought, and looked behind me. There was Spark, hanging on the edge of the cliff, not at all scared that he could fall at any moment. How did he...? Before I could think about how he could have possibly gotten on the rock, he held up a sign that said, "Ask her out!" As soon as he lifted up the sign, however, he lost leverage and fell down and I heard him land with a thud. "Dammit, Blaze, you can't hold me for two fucking seconds?" I heard faintly. "It's not my fault! Do you think he saw it?" "He better have. I'm not doing that again." I turned my head back toward the sunset. "Did you hear something?" Rainbow Dash asked. "No, I didn't hear anything. Must have been the wind." I said. "I guess so." She said, and continued to watch the sunset. So Spark wants me to ask her out? But I have no idea how to even go about that. And why? She's a pony! It would be weird. Then again...I'm a pony too... Screw it. I know I want this. "So Dash, I had a lot of fun today." I said after a while of silence. "Me too." She said. "I'm glad we got to hang out." "Yeah. I really like spending time with you. We have a lot of fun together..." I was starting to lose confidence. "And I really like your personality and..." Dash scooted a little closer. "Yeah?" "...And I was just wondering if you might want to go out with-" Before I could even finish what I was saying. I was cut off by Rainbow Dash's soft lips locked on mine. I closed my eyes and we held the kiss for a few more seconds until Dash pulled back. "Yes." Dash said as we looked at each other. Her magenta eyes shined in the continually dimming sunlight. She blushed and looked back at the sunset. We watched it together all the way through until the sun was visible no more, and we were left with the dim light of the moon. Dash suddenly turned to me and gave me a hug. "Thanks for watching the sunset with me." She said. We held the hug for a few moments until she broke it. I smiled. "It was no problem." She smiled back and gave me a kiss on the nose. "You wanna start heading home?" She asked. "You go on ahead. I'll catch up." I said. Dash stood up and flew off. Well, that happened. I suddenly heard something and I looked over to see Spark climbing back up, standing on the rock now. "Please fucking tell me you asked her out." He said. I nodded. "And...?" "We kissed." I said, and Spark's face grew into a full smile. "FUCK YEAH!" He walked over to the cliff. "Hey Blaze, our boy did it!" "Hurray!" I heard Blaze's faint reply. "So where did she go?" Spark asked. "We're about to go back to her house." "Ohhhhh. Alright, alright, try not to get her pregnant, lover boy." "I...whaaaaaaaaat?" "Ah, nothin'." We sat there a few more moments while I tried to forget what Spark said. "Well then, uh...Thank you. I probably never would have done this without you." I said. Spark smiled. "Anytime, bro. Now go, don't keep her waiting." I smiled and took off toward Rainbow Dash. This was a good day. > 13. Hangovers and Panties > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I looked around for Rainbow Dash until I found her already above Ponyville and still flying. I quickly caught up to her and we started talking. "I thought you were going to wait up for me." I said as we flew side by side. "This is me waiting up for you. I just fly fast is all." She said with a smile. I playfully rolled my eyes. "Sure, whatever." We continued flying until we finally got to Dash's house. She opened the door and we walked in. I didn't realize just how tired I was until I rested my hooves on the plush floor of the house. Apparently Dash felt the same because she gave a large yawn. "You tired?" I asked her. "A little." She said. "What about you?" "A lot." I yawned. "I think I'm gonna hit the hay." I started heading toward the couch when Rainbow Dash stopped me. "You know, if you don't want to sleep on the couch anymore, we could share my bed. There's plenty of room." She said. I stopped in my tracks and thought about that for a moment. Oh god, I hope this doesn't go where I think it's going. "Uh, sure. That would be nice." I smiled, but was secretly worrying. Maybe it's just nothing. Maybe she just wants me to because we're dating now and I guess it wouldn't be right for me to sleep on the couch. Dash gave a cute smile. "Alright then. I guess you've never really seen the inside of my room before. Come on, I'll show you." She started walking and I followed her down the hall until we got to her room. She opened the door and I stepped inside. To my right was a bed made of some kind of cloud with a night stand next to it. Oh god, that's gotta be comfortable. I thought. Directly to my left was a wall with a door on it that I guessed led to a closet. In front of me was a wall with a giant window that overlooked Ponyville. "What do you think?" She asked. "It's nice. Better than the room I used to have where I lived." I said. It wasn't far from the truth at all. My old room sucked. I walked over to the window and looked out over Ponyville. The small town was lit with street lights and it looked amazing at night. Rainbow Dash walked next to me and looked out the window as well. "I love the way Ponyville looks at night." Dash said. "It's so peaceful and quiet." I looked at her. "I thought you liked awesome and loud." "Yeah, but it's nice to just slow down every once and a while and just enjoy the scenery." "I know what you mean." I said. We stood there for a few more moments until Rainbow Dash finally walked over to the bed. "I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted." She said. "Me too." I said, and walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down on it. I instantly lay down as soon as I felt the incredible softness of the cloud bed. Dash giggled when she saw me collapse on the bed. "Comfortable?" "This is the softest thing I have ever laid on ever." I said. Dash smiled and lay down on her side of the bed. I looked over at her and she looked at me. "I had a lot of fun with you today." Rainbow Dash said. "I did too." I said. "Can I tell you something?" She asked. "You can tell me anything." I said. "Well, when I went to Twilight's earlier, it was because I wanted advice on what to do on a date." I grinned. "So this was a date?" "Yeah. I really like you and I didn't want to ruin my chance, so I asked her." "Well, you know, I kind of did the same thing." I said. "Really?" "Yeah. Remember when you asked if I knew the waiter? He was one of my friends that I asked to help me out because I thought this was a date." We both smiled and we shared a brief kiss. When we pulled away, Dash closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep with a peaceful smile on her face. I watched her for a few moments until I decided to close my eyes and go to sleep as well. So right now, I just got back from a date with Rainbow Dash, and now I'm sleeping next to her. Check that off my bucket list. I lay there and thought about the day's events until I finally felt the warm grasp of sleep overtake me. I awoke the next morning in the soft bed alone. Rainbow Dash must have already woken up and gone to the living room. I stretched and let out a small groan. I sat up in the bed and noticed that my wings were a little sore from the day before, but they didn't hurt as bad as before. I got out of the bed and stretched again and finally made my way into the living room. I walked in to see Rainbow Dash eating something at the kitchen counter. She turned around to see me and gave me a smile. "Hey, sunshine. How'd you sleep?" "Like a baby." I said. She let out a small laugh and handed me a plate of hay. "I made you this. I figured you'd be hungry." "Thanks, Dash." I said as I took the plate and started eating. She was right, I was starving. I walked over to her and we happily ate together and talked about our plans for the day. "I think I'm going to go hang out with a few friends until it's time to clear the sky." I said. "That's what I was planning on doing. I made plans with Applejack for today. After we clear the sky would you want to do something with me?" Dash asked. I smiled. "Like what?" "I don't know, we can probably come up with something before then." "Well then I'd love to." I said. Rainbow Dash smiled. "Great." We continued eating until our plates were clean, and we put them away. "I should probably get going." Dash said as we walked over to the front door. "I'll see you when we clear the sky." I gave her quick kiss on the cheek. "See you later, Dash." She blushed heavily and smiled. "See you later." And with that, she took off into the sky toward Ponyville. She flew into the middle of the small town and then out of sight. Well I guess I could go see if Blaze and Spark are free for a bit. I thought, and walked on the front step of the house and closed the door. I hope I can fly. I stretched out my wings and flapped them a few times until they didn't hurt as bad, and I ascended into the air and flew toward Ponyville. As I soared above Ponyville, I searched for the poorly put together wooden shack that Blaze and Spark called home. It wasn't that hard to spot, considering it stood out significantly among all the other houses. I slowly flew toward the "house" until I landed at the front door. I knocked at the door and heard Spark yell, "Yeah, yeah, hold your horses! See what I did there, Blaze?" A moment later, I was greeted by Spark. "Hey, Flash! How's it going, dude?" He said. His hair was incredibly messy and his bloodshot eyes were squinting at the sunlight. "Um, I'm good. What's wrong with you?" I asked. "Ah, nothing. I'm just a little hungover." "Hungover? As in-?" "Booze." Spark said with a smile. "I found out how to make booze last night. It turns out you don't need bloody entrails from innocent bunnies to make it." I paused for a few moments. "Um...okay then. Can I come in?" "Sure, come on in!" Spark said, and opened the door for me. I walked in to see Blaze sitting at the table and eating a bowl of oats. He looked to be in the same condition as Spark. "Hey, Flash." Blaze said quietly, and instantly rubbed his temples with his hooves. "Blaze here drank more than me." Spark said. "I never took him as the drinking type." "I didn't either." Blaze said as he rubbed his temples more. I looked at the both of them in their poor conditions. "You two are dumbasses." I said. "Yeah, I gotta admit, not the best decision I've made." Spark said. "I don't suppose you guys would want to hang out for a bit then?" I asked. "Are you fucking kidding? Of course I do!" Spark said. "Don't be so loud, Spark!" Blaze said. Spark turned to Blaze. "Ah, quit bein' a pussy." He turned back to me. "C'mon man, what're we waiting for, fucking Chinese new year or something? Let's go!" He practically shoved me out the door. "See ya, Blaze!" He yelled, and slammed the door behind him. He immediately fell to the ground and pounded his head. "GODDAMMIT!!!" He yelled and pounded his head more. I looked down at him. "Are you sure you're ready to go?" He tried to tell me something but violently vomited halfway through the sentence. Spark slowly got up to his feet and put his hoof on my shoulder. "Never. Fucking. Let me drink. Ever. Again. EVER." He said. "Will do." I said as he wiped his mouth. "Now, if we're gonna do anything, I need to get some motherfucking sunglasses." Spark said. I looked at the sky. "But the sun isn't even-" "LOOK, FUCKFACE, YOUR PUSSY ASS HAS NEVER HAD A HANGOVER, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUCKING PAINFUL THIS IS!!! GIVE ME SOME MOTHERFUCKING SUNGLASSES!!!" Spark yelled, and immediately cursed at himself as he pounded his temples. "Alright, alright, I'll get you some sunglasses." I said. We walked through town. Spark had his eyes squinting the entire time. "Where would we even find sunglasses?" I asked. "I don't fuckin' know." Spark said. I sighed. Spark is being a little too irritable. We walked through Ponyville with no luck of finding any sort of sunglasses. Are sunglasses even a thing in Equestria? Do they even exist? I asked myself. Wait a second, Rainbow Dash probably has some! I turned to Spark. "Stay here, I'll be right back." "Fuck you." And with that loving comment, I flew off toward Dash's house as fast as I could. I don't even think doing all of this is worth it. Spark will probably just curse and complain about how bad hangovers are. I arrived at the front door and walked in. She probably has some sunglasses in her room. I walked down the hall and into the bedroom. I looked around but saw nothing. Well what now? I walked over to her nightstand and opened the top drawer. A frown grew across my face as I held up a small article of clothing. What. The. Hell. In my hooves was a small pair of rainbow colored pony panties. Do ponies even..? Why would she..? What? I shook my head and tossed the panties to the side as I continued to look for the sunglasses. Two drawers and several questionable articles of clothing later, I found Dash's sunglasses. I put them on the bed and tried my best to put everything back as it was. I closed the drawers and got the glasses. I better get these back to Spark before he freaks out. I walked out of the bedroom and out of the house as fast as possible back toward Ponyville. I flew back to the spot where I last left Spark to see him arguing with a pony selling some food at a stall. "WELL LISTEN HERE, FAGGOT, I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO BEAT YOUR ASS OVER A FUCKING APPLE!" He yelled. "I'm sorry sir, but it's two bits." The pony said. "ONE BIT, MOTHERFUCKER! ONE BIT IS ALL MY POOR ASS CAN AFFORD! JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN APPLE!" I quickly flew down and broke them up. I shoved the sunglasses in Spark's face and talked to the stallion working the stall. "I'm sorry sir. My friend is a little...irritable right now-" "Damn right I am! Motherfucker won't give me an apple!" "-but is there any way he can have the apple for half price? He's been through some troubles lately and he doesn't have any money." The stallion thought for a bit and finally said, "Alright, but just this once. Any other time, he has to pay full price." "Of course." I said, and he gave me the apple for Spark's bit. "Thank you." I said. "Whatever." The stallion said, and we walked away. I turned to Spark, who was happily eating the apple with the sunglasses on. "You know, I'm not even hungry." Spark said. "What!? Then why did you start that huge argument?" I asked. He shrugged. "For the lulz." I shook my head. "Well I hope you enjoy those sunglasses. I had to search through pony panties to get them." Spark spit out the piece of apple he was chewing. "No shit? Dude, you should fucking thank me for that." "Why? Why would I thank you for making me touch pony panties?" I asked. "Now just think about that sentence for a minute, Flash. Why would you not thank me for putting you in a situation where you go through a stash of your girlfriend's underwear?" Spark said. "But it's pony panties though. Ponies don't even wear panties." I said. "Well, you never know. Some of them could have certain fetishes..." "No no no no no, shutup." I said. "I refuse to think about that." Spark laughed and took another bite of his apple. "Alright then, just don't be surprised when it finally happens and you're just like 'oh shit'." I shook my head, then I realized that we just walked in a circle back to Spark's house. "Uh, why are we here?" I asked. "Are you fucking kidding? I'm in no shape to go out in public." Spark pointed to the pool of vomit beside the door. "You see that shit? That's like my entire insides right there. I'm staying home for the rest of the day. I only came with you to waste your time." He walked into the house and handed me the sunglasses. "Thanks for these though, it helped in the 2 fucking minutes I had them. See ya later, fagstick." He closed the door and I was left standing with sunglasses and a pile of vomit. Well that sure was a good beginning to my day. I thought, and slowly walked into Ponyville. At least clearing the sky with Dash will make me feel better. > 14. Weather Assignments > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I walked down the stone path toward the weather pony building so I could be ready to clear the skies. It was still about forty minutes until three, but I continued anyway. It's not like I had anything else to do. As I walked I felt a few raindrops hit the top of my head. I looked up and saw that the skies were a gloomy dark gray. Clearing this up is going to take a while. Despite the gloomy mood, I couldn't help but smile at my current situation. It's been four days and I still couldn't believe I was in Equestria. I walked until I arrived at the familiar building that had some pegasi, including Bright Light, standing in front and socializing. I walked over to her and she turned to me. "Ah, White Flash! There you are. I was worried you would be late on your first day. I hired a lot of pegasus ponies for this job and not many have showed up yet." She said, pointing to the five pegasus ponies talking with each other. "Well we don't start until three, right?" I asked. "Yeah, but I like to start early. I don't know about you, but I'd like to have the rest of the day off relaxing in the beautiful weather we're about to make." She said. I chuckled. "Yep." Well, I guess my assumption about all pegasi being lazy has been true so far. I walked over to the building to see a piece of paper that appeared to be the weather schedule hanging on the door. The week was scheduled to be sunny until Wednesday. I wonder where we'll get the rain clouds. You never really think about these kinds of things until it's your job to do it. I turned around and was greeted by a smiling face. "Hey Flash!" Rainbow Dash said, her face about an inch from mine. I smiled. "Hey Dash, how is it going?" "Not bad. Have fun with your friends?" She asked. "Eh, they weren't feeling too well." I said, trying not to laugh as I remembered Spark vomiting his guts out on the sidewalk. "Aw, well that stinks. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you by showing you my awesome sky clearing skills." I smiled. "Alright then, but remember, I got the fastest time anypony has ever done on the training course. I might show you a thing or two." She smiled. "You're on." We talked for a while and watched the other pegasi arrive little by little until there was a sizable crowd of about twenty or so. Eventually, Bright Light got everypony's attention and started talking. "Alright everypony, listen up!" She started, "As you can see, we've got quite a mess to clean up, so let's do this thing organized, professional, and fast. I have groups picked out for different portions of the sky." Bright Light listed off several groups of different pegasi for different places, Northern Ponyville, Ponyville outskirts, and other locations. Eventually she said the last group. "And the last group is Rainbow Dash, White Flash, and Mira. You three will clear the Southwestern part of Ponyville." She looked to Rainbow Dash. "Make sure you teach these two the ropes." "Will do!" Dash said. Bright Light nodded. "Alright everypony, we get this done quick, we can all go home early. When we're done, come back here for your pay." All of the pegasus ponies dispersed to their assigned areas except for one light pink mare with a flower in her curly yellow mane with the same styled tale. Rainbow Dash walked over to her. "I'm guessing you're Mira?" She asked. The pegasus nodded in response. "Well it's nice to meet you! This is White Flash." Dash said, pointing to me. I smiled awkwardly and waved to her. She did the same. "He's new too. Don't worry about your first day, I'll make sure you get the hang of everything." Mira smiled and Dash hovered in the air. "Well, let's not waste time, let's do this!" She said, and took off toward our assigned area. Mira slowly took off after her. Well, time to get some money. I said, and took off after the two pegasi. > 15. Fun Fact: Hooves Hurt > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Right over here, guys." Rainbow Dash said looking back to Mira and I. "C'mon, slow pokes!" She started kicking the rain clouds while I caught up with Mira. "So, you're new on the job too, huh?" I asked her. "Yeah..." She said very quietly. "Well don't mind Dash. She's just eager to be done with the job. I'm sure we'll do fine on our first day." I said. "Yeah..." Mira said quietly again. I flew over to Dash and did a mocking salute. "What would you have us do, Ms. Rainbow Dash ma'am?" Dash looked at me for a few seconds. "Seriously?" She said giggling. "Hey, it's my first day, what did you expect from me?" "I guess you're right." She looked over to Mira who had just flown up and took a spot next to me. "Okay, the key is to kick the cloud as hard as you can to make sure you get the whole thing." She demonstrated by dramatically rearing her back legs up and kicking a cloud into smithereens. "Now you two try it." I flew over to a medium sized rain cloud and did my best to replicate Dash's actions. I brought my hind legs up, and kicked with all my might, obliterating the cloud. "There you go, Flash." Dash said. "Now you, Mira." Mira flew over to a larger rain cloud than mine was, brought her legs up, and smashed it into nothing. Dash whistled. "That's some leg strength. Nice job." "Thanks." Mira said with a slight smile. "Alright, so we have this whole part of the sky to clear. It shouldn't take long so let's do this!" Dash said, and sped of, taking out three clouds in her path. I followed her lead and took off in the other direction. I wasn't quite as skilled as Dash yet, so I took my time taking out my rain clouds. After I kicked through about seven, I was already beginning to get tired. These rain clouds were a lot tougher to get rid of than the rain clouds at the training course. I wiped the sweat off my brow and looked back to see Rainbow Dash speeding through clouds and Mira clearing out her clouds with ease. We were already about halfway done. I looked ahead toward my rain clouds and sped toward them. I flew over to the closest one and kicked it, then immediately flew over to the next one. I continued to kick the clouds as I got to each one, determined to clear the sky. After about twenty clouds, I stopped and looked around. Part of the sky was completely clear. All except for one monster of a cloud that was roughly twenty feet away from me. I grinned to myself. "I got this." I sped as fast as I could toward the last cloud. I flew faster than I ever had before, knowing I would need speed to clear the whole cloud in one kick. I flew faster and faster and faster until I was inches from the dark mass, and then- CRACK A searing pain tore through my snout as I tumbled backwards through the air. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWWW!!!!!" I screamed as I clutched my snout in my hooves. Through my hazy vision I could see them covered in blood. I closed my eyes and I could feel more blood flow out of my nose. "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I am so sorry!" I heard a panicked voice say. I opened one eye to see Mira with her hooves up to her face. "I didn't know you were there, I'm so sorry!" Rainbow Dash rushed over to us. "What happened?" She asked. "We were both going for the same cloud and I didn't know he was there and I accidentally kicked him!" Mira said. "It's okay, calm down." Dash said. She flew over to me. "Let me see." I took my hooves away from my snout and let Dash look. Even with her gentle touch, I winced as she tilted my head to see the damage. "Yeesh, that's a lot of blood." She said. "I am so sorry, White Flash!" Mira said again. "It's fine." Pain shot through my snout as I spoke. "But I feel really bad." Mira said, looking down. "It's okay, really-yowowow!" I said and clutched my snout as Dash suddenly let go. "Yikes. Sorry." Dash said. I held up a hoof and nodded. "Well we need to get you to a doctor." Dash said. "Shouldn't we check in with Bright Light first?" I asked, still holding my snout. "Good idea. Can you fly there?" "Yeah, I think so." I said. "Well then let's hurry!" Mira said, and flew quickly in the direction of the weather pony building. Dash and I followed behind. A few moments later, we arrived back at the building to see Bright Light standing in front. Rainbow Dash rushed over to her. "Hey Bright Light, we got our part of the sky cleared, but Flash had a bit of an accident and we think he needs to see a doctor. Could we leave and just see you later for our pay?" Dash asked. "Of course. Is he okay?" Bright Light asked. "He should be fine. Just a little hoof on snout collision." "Alright. You can find me back here tomorrow to get your pay." Dash smiled. "Thanks." And flew into Ponyville while Mira and I followed. A few minutes later, we landed in front of a clinic and walked in. Mira and I took a seat in the waiting room while Rainbow Dash spoke to the receptionist. The intense pain in my snout was reduced to a dull throb of pain, and the bleeding had stopped. Rainbow Dash walked in and took a seat next to me. "They'll call you in in a few minutes." She said. "How does it feel?" "Better." I said. Mira looked over to me. "I feel really bad about this. I hate to see ponies in pain. Especially knowing that I caused it." "It's okay, really Mira. It was an accident." I said. "Oh, I hope you're going to be okay." She said. "He'll be fine, don't worry. It was just a little kick." Dash said. Easy for you to say. "White Flash." I heard a voice call. Dash and I got up while Mira stayed seated. "I'll just stay here. I don't like hospitals. Tell me the news when you get back though." She said. We walked out of the waiting room and were greeted by a brown unicorn stallion. He smiled. "Hi there, White Flash. I'm Dr. Greene. I'll be taking care of you today. I'll just have you step into this room please." He said, pointing to a room with an opened door. Dash and I walked in and I took a seat on the bed. Dr. Greene walked in and closed the door. "So I understand your snout got messed up pretty bad huh?" He said. I nodded, pointing to my blood caked snout. "Okay. I'll have you lay down on the bed please." I layed down while Dr. Greene searched through a drawer to get some kind of screen. He used his horn to levitate it above my head. "Turn your head to the side please." I turned my head and the screen lit up like it took a picture. "Good." Dr. Greene took the screen and examined it, nodding to himself. "What is it?" Dash asked. "It seems White Flash has a fracture in the front of his snout." Dr. Greene said. "Great." I sighed as I sat up. "It's not as bad as it seems. This is probably the most manageable fracture you could've gotten. You are very lucky it wasn't worse." "So what do we do now?" Dash asked. "Well, I'll wrap it up, give you some painkiller, and send you on your way. It should heal up in a week or two." Dr. Greene said. Dash smiled. "Great." She looked over to me. "At least it's not too bad." "Yeah." I agreed. Dr. Greene walked over me with a tightly wrapped roll of bandages. "Do you want me to clean off that blood for you?" "Um, no thanks. I'll do that when I get home." I said. Dr. Greene shrugged. "Suit yourself." He said, and unwrapped the bandages with his horn and started wrapping them around my snout. He wrapped my entire muzzle except for my jaw so I could still talk. Dr. Greene levitated the bandages back into the the drawer and brought out a bottle of pills. "Take two of these every twelve hours to ease the pain." He said. I took the bottle in my mouth and nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Greene." Dash said. "Oh it's no problem. Let me know if you need anything else." Dash and I walked out back into the waiting room and were instantly greeted by Mira. "What's the news? Is it broken? Did they have to cut it off?" She asked quickly. "He's fine." Rainbow Dash said, and put her arm around me. "It's just a small fracture. It'll be healed in a few weeks." Mira sighed in relief. "Thank Celestia. I was so worried." She looked over to me. "I promise I'll make this up to you somehow." "Oh you don't have to do that." I said. "I know, but I just feel like I should." Mira said. "It's okay, Mira. You don't have to do anything." Dash said. "Well...okay. I guess I'll see you two around then. Get better soon, White Flash." Mira said. "See you around." Dash and I said. Mira walked out the door of the clinic and flew off. "Well that was exciting." I said sarcastically. "Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad was it?" Dash said. "Yes. It was." I said. Dash looked sympathetic. "Well, I'm sorry, Flash. Are you still in the mood to do something with me?" She asked, giving me adorable puppy dog eyes. I smiled. "Of course." Dash's face changed to a bright smile. "Great!" "Can we go home first? I think I need some of this painkiller. And I don't really want to go anywhere with a bloody snout." I said. "Sure. Let's go." She said, and we walked out of the clinic together and flew toward her cloud house. Well today was crap. Maybe whatever Dash has planned will cheer me up. > 16. I Fall Asleep on a Date > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- When we arrived at the house, I wasn't in a very good mood. Dash seemed to notice when we walked in because she looked concerned. "Y'know, you we don't have to do anything tonight if you don't feel like it." She said. "No, it's fine, Dash." I said, lying a bit. I really didn't feel like going anywhere, but I wanted to spend time with Dash somewhere other than home. Dash gave me a worried look. "Well, do you want me to help you clean up?" I forced a halfhearted smile. "No, I'm good. You just go get ready and brush your mane or whatever it is you girls do." I said in a joking manner. "Alright." Dash said, happy to see me smiling. She walked into her room while I headed for the bathroom. I walked in and looked in the mirror. I looked like I just got beaten by the mafia. The bandages completely covered the top part of my snout and there was dried blood all over my nose. I looked down to the sink and turned the faucet. I dipped my hooves in the flowing water and splashed it on my face. The blood was still glued to my face. I reached over and fumbled for a roll of toilet paper. I had been getting better at grabbing things with hooves, but it was still nearly impossible. I finally managed to get the roll on the counter, and it took me a minute or two just to get a couple squares of toilet paper. When I finally had it in my hooves, I wiped one part of my face, but by then the toilet paper had fallen from the grasp of my hooves. I sighed in exasperation and I heard a giggle from behind me. I turned around to see Dash smiling in the doorway. "Are you sure you don't need help?" She asked. "Maybe a little." I said. Dash walked over to me and grabbed the squares of paper I dropped and started wiping off my nose. She stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she tried her best to get all the blood, making the most adorable face of all time. She stopped and looked over my face. "There we go! Back to your normal cute self." She said. That made me smile, causing a dull throb of pain in my snout. "Oh, does it still hurt?" Dash asked. "Kinda." I said. She leaned in and gave the top of my snout a kiss. "How about now?" My face got hot. "A little better." I said. "Those pain pills would help too." "Oh yeah, I'll go get them for you." She said, and walked out of the bathroom. Dash is being really lovey tonight. We've only been dating for two days, I wonder if this is normal. Not that I care though. I like all of this attention. Dash came back with two pills and a glass of water. "Here ya go." I took the pills in my mouth and grabbed the glass of water to take them. Once I swallowed them, I felt the pain in my snout gradually stop a few moments later. "So, what are we doing that you're so excited for?" I asked. "Well, I thought we could go somewhere for dinner with the money that we were gonna get from clearing the sky, but-" "I got kicked in the face." "Yeah. So I figured we could just go for a short flight around Ponyville together and call it a night." "Sounds fun." I said. "Alright then." Dash said. "Let's go." We walked to the door and took of into the light golden evening sky. I couldn't believe it was already evening. We must have spent longer on the sky than I thought. I flew next to Dash as she admired the sunset. "I swear, the sunset in Ponyville is better than anywhere else in Equestria." She said. "Don't you think?" "Yep." I said. "It's pretty amazing." Dash looked over to me. "Are you sure you don't want to just go back home? You looked a little tired." "No, I'm fine. It's probably just the pills or something." I yawned. I was beginning to get really tired. I felt as exhausted as if I had ran a marathon. Dash looked concerned. "Are you sure? I don't want you falling asleep in midair." "I'm okay, really Dash. I want to spend time with you so I will." I said as I swayed a bit. The doctor didn't tell me these pills had a slight side effect of absolute exhaustion. My eyelids grew heavy. "Well you know, we could always go back to the house and-" I didn't hear the end of her sentence before I passed out. SPLASH I quickly awoke in ice cold water. I swam to the surface and caught my breath. I looked around and realized I was in the same lake that I almost died in. That's twice now. I looked up and saw Rainbow Dash grinning from ear to ear. "Still think you're okay?" She yelled down to me. "Maybe we should go home." I said. I flew out of the lake and shook off the water. Dash flew down to me and giggled. "Come on, let's go." Before we took off, I could've swore I heard distant yelling of a New Jersey accented voice followed by a flurry of curse words, but I dismissed it as my imagination. Who would be out and yelling on such a nice evening? > 17. As Told by Spark and Blaze > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Goddammit." Spark said as he walked back into the house. "Why do hangovers suck so fucking bad? Why!?" Blaze put his hooves to his temples. "Why do you have to keep yelling?" He whined. "God, just shut the fuck up you annoying sack of shit." Spark said and collapsed on the floor. "Fucking hell." Blaze looked over at Spark from the table. "What happened to White Flash?" he asked. "I...fuckin'...hate alcohol...so much." Spark said, ignoring Blaze's question. Blaze slowly got up from his seat at the table and stumbled over to Spark. "I hope you know that once we're over this you're gonna do it again the next day." Blaze said. Spark looked up. "Not the next day, but I will definitely get drunk off my ass again very soon." He pushed himself up off the ground and shook his head. "I'm going to just go to bed and hopefully live out the rest of the day without puking my asshole out of my mouth." Spark walked over to the staircase and put his hoof on the guard rail. He closed his eyes as another painful wave of his headache washed over him. He recovered and slowly lumbered up the stairs and collapsed at the top. He crawled over to his bed and sprawled himself across the mattress. He heard the creaking of Blaze's bed across the room as he climbed in and fell asleep as well. After ten minutes of nothing, Spark realized sleep was not going to happen. He groaned and got out of bed. The pounding in his head lessened, but it was definitely still present. So fucking bored. He walked over to Blaze, looking down at him as he slept peacefully, as if he were a majestic newborn calf. "Get up, shithead we're going to do something!" Spark yelled as he used his magic to flip the mattress and Blaze fell to the ground with a painful thud. "Why?" Blaze whined, not even bothering to look up at Spark. "Because I am bored as fucking hell!" Spark said. Blaze looked up at Spark. "I thought you didn't want to go out of the house because of your hangover." "Well, I'm over it." "Well, I'm not. You can go do something but I'm staying here." "Oh, no you're not." Spark said. "And what makes you think that?" "Just do it, fuckface. It'll be fun." Blaze slowly got to his feet and sighed. "Fine. What are we doing?" "I don't know, but we're doing something." Spark thought for a few moments, then, a light bulb went off in his head. "C'mon, I have an idea." "So where is it we're going?" Blaze asked as they aimlessly walked through Ponyville. "We're on our way to Sugarcube Corner." Spark said. "Because?" "Because I fucking said so, bitch." "Is it because you wanna see Pinkie Pie?" "None of your fucking business." "Kind of is, considering I'm going with you." "Just shut up and follow me." "Do you think Fluttershy would be there?" Blaze asked. "Why do you care?" Spark asked. "Ah, no reason." Blaze said with an awful attempt at a poker face. Spark noticed the gesture, but he decided to dismiss it just as Blaze being Blaze. They continued walking when they rounded the corner to see the small bakery known as Sugarcube Corner. Seeing it brought a smile to Spark's face, even though he'd seen it a million times before. He continued to walk towards it, quickening his pace a bit, while Blaze lagged behind, trying to catch up. They came up on the front doors, and Spark hastily opened them. He was instantly assaulted with the sweet aroma of fresh baked bread and cake. He sat there in a slight trance for a few moments until Blaze walked passed him into the bakery. Spark snapped out of it and followed him inside. As they walked in, they were greeted by a familiar hyper-active pink pony. "Hi!" Pinkie Pie greeted them, waving at them at an impossible speed. "Oh. Hello." Fluttershy also greeted them shyly, flipping her hair over her eyes as she did so. It looked like she was talking to Pinkie until they walked in. Yes. Spark thought. She's here. Oh my gosh. Blaze thought. She's here! "Hey there." Spark said. "You're Pinkie Pie right?" He asked, though obviously knowing the answer. He only said it to make sure it seemed like he was a normal pony that knew of her. "And you're Fluttershy?" Blaze asked with the same intentions. "Yep!" Pinkie smiled. "Um...Yes." Fluttershy said. "How do you know our names?" "Aw, come on. Anybody who's anybody knows who you two are." Spark flattered. "Ooh! You hear that, Fluttershy? We're famous!" Pinkie exclaimed with a beaming smile of pure joy. "Yeah. Well anyway, my friend, Blaze and I were just wanting to know if-" "-We could get your autograph?" Blaze interrupted excitedly. The two mares looked at them, puzzled. "Excuse me, ladies." Spark fake laughed and took Blaze away and out of earshot of the two ponies. "Blaze, I didn't think I needed to tell you. Shut the fuck up and let me do the talking. You are going to make this fucking terrible, okay? So fuck off for a bit. I got this." Spark scolded Blaze calmly. Blaze found this a bit strange of his friend and wondered what was wrong with him. Spark turned back toward the two. "Sorry about that." He said. "What I was trying to say is that you two seem like some friendly mares, and we're kind of new here so we were wondering if we could have a tour around this wonderful little town." Spark said. He is so full of crap. Blaze thought. "Well sure!" Pinkie said, and bounced over to the two stallions. She was in mid bounce when she suddenly stopped in the air, looking down to the two ponies. "Wait a second. I've seen you before!" Pinkie said pointing down to Blaze. "Oh, uh yeah." Blaze said. "I'm just here for the company." He smiled awkwardly. "Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said, going back to the ground and bouncing out the door, followed by Fluttershy. Blaze and Spark were both too over enthusiastic about the situation and they suddenly looked at each other. "You're favorite is-" Blaze started. "Pinkie." Spark finished. "Yours is-" "Fluttershy." They brohoofed and followed the ponies through the town. "Well this is Sugarcube Corner, this is the post office, this is the ground, and this is a light post!" Pinkie said in a flurry ending on her hanging on to a light post. "Nice light post." Spark said. "Yeah, it's my favorite one in Ponyville!" Pinkie said, and continued to bounce down the path, naming off everything they passed while Fluttershy followed close behind, too shy to socialize with Blaze or Spark. Spark fell back toward Blaze. "What, are you just gonna sit there like an asshole all day waiting for the most antisocial pony to come to you? I don't fuckin' think so. Get your ass up there and start a conversation!" Spark said. "Sorry, I'm just kind of shy too." Blaze said. "Shocker. Quit bitching about it and go talk to your favorite character from a TV show about magical technicolor ponies." Spark shoved Blaze into Fluttershy. "Sorry!" They said simultaneously. They walked a bit without talking until Blaze looked back at Spark. He gave him a reassuring nod and Blaze turned back toward Fluttershy with a lump forming in his throat. He eventually got enough courage to finally speak. "So, uh, Fluttershy." He said with less confidence than a cat near water. "Y-yeah?" She said timidly. "I'm Blaze. It's nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you too." She said quietly. Blaze looked back at Spark as he face hoofed. He looked forward again and started another conversation. "So...uh. W-what's your favorite color?" Blaze asked. His anxiety was starting to act up. "I like green." She said. "T-that's a nice color." Blaze said awkwardly. "Are you okay? You seem a bit shaky." "Oh, uh. I-I'm fine." Blaze lied. He was starting to sweat. This was getting nowhere. "I'm, uh. Just a little nervous meeting you." Blaze said. "Really? I didn't think I was that famous." Fluttershy blushed. "Anyway, it's alright. I get nervous a lot too. I'm really shy." "I am too." Blaze said. "Really shy." They shared a brief smile and continued to talk. Seems like they're hitting it off. Spark thought. He caught up to Pinkie as she was still explaining everything they passed. "And this is the path to the lake, this is a tree, these are some houses, this is another tree, this is-" "This is a pretty nice tour." Spark interrupted. "I feel like I could draw a map of this place now." "Oh, we're not done yet!" Pinkie said, still bouncing. "We still have to see Twilights's house and the weather ponies building and the-" "You seem to know this place pretty well." Spark said, attempting to throw her off topic. "Sure do! I know it like the back of head. If I could see the back of my head!" Pinkie giggled, then proceeded to try to look at the back of her head. "Nope, not working." She said to herself, then continued down the path. "So how long have you lived in Ponyville? I'm sure a pretty face like yours has been all over Equestria." Spark said. She giggled. "Well I haven't been all over Equestria, but I have lived in Ponyville for a few years." "Interesting." Spark said. They continued the tour until Pinkie had showed them all over town. By the end, Blaze and Fluttershy were talking easily and laughing together, and Spark and Pinkie were sharing laughs as well. "And that's the end!" Pinkie said as they arrived back at Sugarcube Corner. "Thanks for the tour, Pinkie." Spark said. "Anytime!" She said merrily. "It was fun!" "Yeah it was." Spark said. "It was nice talking to you. Would you want to go out for ice cream later?" Pinkie giggled. "Sure! How about tomorrow?" "Sounds good. See ya then." He said. "See ya then, Spark!" She said, and bounced back into Sugarcube Corner followed by Fluttershy. Spark walked over to Blaze. "Well, I don't know about you, but I just got a date." Spark said. "Same here. We said we'd meet up later and talk about-" "Yeah, I don't really give a shit." Spark said, now back to his normal self. "Hey, I just noticed." Blaze said. "My hangover is gone." "Holy shit, mine too!" Spark said. "So, what now?" Blaze asked. "Well," Spark started, "there was a bar a few blocks back that Pinkie showed us." "Oh, really? I wasn't paying attention." Blaze said. "Of course you didn't, dumbass." Spark said. "That's why I'm here. To catch everything you miss. Now we know that every time we want to get drunk, I don't have to mix up all that complicated stuff. Anyway, we should totally get drunk." "Are you kidding?" Blaze said. "We just for over an intense hangover that made us want to die, and you want to go drinking again?" "Yeah, why?" "Let's do it." "An so...I says to tha fucker I says...'Ay! I don givva fuck 'bout your damn stupidass...capitalist laws! Imm'a put my dick in this'ere bowl of jello...and you can't fuckin' stop me!" Spark said after an hour of heavy drinking. Blaze howled maniacally at the story. "Heh, what, whadid the cop do?" Blaze asked. "Wellll, he wadn't really a cop, ya see. This ffucker was just, strollin' around Walmart, makin' sure assholes like me wasn't stickin' their dicks in bowls of strawberry jello!" Spark said. "But tha guy was, was all like 'Oh, look't me! I'm a bigg bad ol' douche bag! You gotta get outta thisstore! You're bein' a fuckin' disturbance!' And there I was, my pants 'round my ankles an my dick hangin' out, so I says to 'im, 'Fine, you, you, you ASSHOLE, I'll getoutta your damn store! But I'll be back!' And then I walked outtathe damn store, an I go home with my dick hangin' out the whole time!" Blaze howled with laughter again. "Dude, thasawesome!" He said, still chuckling. "And, and yaknow what the bes' part is?" Spark whispered. Blaze leaned in closer. Spark leaned in and spoke in Blaze's ear. "I madeit all up!" "No! Get outta here!" Blaze said in pure disbelief. "I ain't shitting you bro! I was talkin' outta myass the whole fuckin' time!" Blaze clapped his hooves together. "You...REALLY had me there!" He said. "You, you know what you should do? You should, you should be a profffessissional story teller!" Spark's eyes widened in amazement. "Oh my God, dude." Spark said. "You're so ffuckin' right!" They brohoofed and took another swig of their drinks. "Hey, bartender guy!" Spark said to the unicorn tending the bar. "Get us sommore drinks!" "Don't you think you two have had enough?" The gruff voice of the bartender said as he cleaned out a glass. "Sscrew you dude!" Blaze said. "Blaze, please." Spark stopped him. "Lis, listen pal. My friend an me jus want some drinks, okay?" "You two have been constantly drinking here for an hour!" "Is there a problem withat?" Blaze asked. "Yes! There is! You two have drank half of my liquor! Now it's time for you to pay the bill." The bartender levitated a piece of paper in front of Spark and his eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, sshhhhit." He said and looked to the bartender. "I'm sorry to say, but we, we don't have...money." "Perhaps there'ssomething else you want?" Blaze asked, turning his butt toward the bartender and bending over. Spark quickly hit Blaze over the head and took him away from the bartender. "Wha, what the fuck Blaze?" Spark asked him. "Hey, I'm jus thinkin' of ways to help." Blaze said. "You're, you're too drunk to help. He's not gonna take your ass to pay for tha liquor." Spark said. "Follow my lead." They walked back over to the bartender. "Sorry, but we don't seem to have tha funds ta pay for thiss." Spark said, looking absentmindedly at the bill. "Well, looks like you're not leaving until you pay it off then." "Yeah, wellll Imm'a, Imm'a make you a deal, okay?" Spark said. "How 'bout you go fuck yourself, and we'll jus' head on out the door and let you enjoy the res' of your night, ok? Ok." They started walking out until the bartender slammed the door shut with his magic. "You're not going anywhere." He said. "A'right then." Spark said. "How 'bout we jus'..." He suddenly hurled himself out the window like a live canonball, sending shards of glass onto the street. Blaze followed suit, and they bolted away into the night as fast as they could from the bar. They didn't stop until they got to the entrance to the lake. "Oh my fucking God, you see that shit, Blaze?" Spark said between breaths. "That was ffuckin' awesome!" "We jus' left witthout paying!" Blaze was freaking out. "We gotta go back! It doesn't feel right! I'ma felon! I'ma terrible person! I can't live with myslefff, oh God!" Spark slapped him with his hoof. "Shut the fffuck up, Blaze!" Spark yelled. "Quit bein' a pussy about it! That guy was an asshole!" "But it'ss not right! We didn't pay!" "It's not tha end of the fuckin' world! Calm the hell down!" Blaze stopped. "Ya know, I wouldn't be in this, this mess if it wasn' for you!" Blaze yelled. "Me?" Spark questioned, "You're tha fucker that decided to come withhme!" "You forced me!" Yelled Blaze. "Ah, bullshit." "No, it's not!" Blaze stepped up to Spark. "You always do this! You force me to do stuff and I, I hate it! I knew you would get me in trouble one day, and, and now this! You're such a...you're such a..." "A what?" Spark yelled. "Say it!" "YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!!" Blaze screamed, followed by a moment of silence. "You fuckin' know what?" Spark said after a few moments. "I don't give a FUCK about what you think about me, o-okay? I know how much of a motherfucking asshole I am, but I don't care!" His voice was starting to get shaky. "I'm a no good lousy motherfucking bitch faggot ass dick munching poor excuse of a living being...ASSHOLE!" Tears were starting to form in his eyes. "I was like that when I was human, and everyone hated me. Now I'm a pony and nothing changed." They sat there for a few minutes until Blaze spoke up. "I-I'm sorry..." He said. "No, you're right. I'm an asshole." Spark said quietly, tears still in his eyes. "Look, I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was jus', just mad. I blew up." Spark didn't look any better. "You said everyone hated you?" Blaze said. "Well, it's not true. I'm glad I met you, really. And I don't hate you. You're my best friend." Spark sniffed. "Thanks. I still feel like an ass though." "Well, sometimes you are, but that'ss why I like you." Blaze said. Spark smiled and then looked over Blaze's shoulder. "Looks like lover boy's on another date." Spark said. Blaze looked back to see White Flash flying away with Rainbow Dash. "Let's hope he knows what he's doin' now." Spark said. Blaze smiled. "Come on. We better get home before the bartender comes after us." They shared a laugh and Spark turned around toward the house, when Blaze noticed a giant shard of glass from the broken window sticking out of Spark's back. "Hooolyyy oh my God, Spark!" Blaze yelled. "Whaat?" Spark jumped. "Jus', jus' stay still!" Blaze yelled. "Wha, what is it?" "There's glass in your back!" "Holyyy Shhit!" Spark yelled. "I wondered what thhat searing pain was!" "Hold, hold on, I gotcha." Blaze said. He carefully got a hold of the shard and pulled it out as cleanly as he could. "HOOOOOOLY MOTHERFUCKIN' SHIT BALLS ON A FUCKING PLATTER OF BITCH MONKEY SOUPY SHIT ON A FUCKING WHORE OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH ASS DILDO FUCKING FUCKER FUCK!" Spark yelled as Blaze pulled the shard out. Blaze held the large bloody shard in his hooves. "All better!" He said with a proud smile. Spark wobbled over to him with blood seeping out of his wound. He put a hoof on Blaze's chest. "Fuck. You." Blaze just chuckled. "Let's go home." > 18. Another Day > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next morning, I awoke in the soft and plush cloud bed with my snout throbbing. I looked over to see Rainbow Dash slowly breathing as she slept soundlessly. I smiled and carefully got out of bed so I wouldn't wake her. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, once again admiring my fractured snout. And what ever shall I do today in this beautiful world of Equestria? I asked myself. I stretched with a yawn and walked down the hall into the living room. I looked out the window. Beautiful day for a flight. Sounds like a good way to start the day. I walked out the front door and let myself fall through the air until I almost hit the ground, then I extended my wings and flew close to the ground. I ascended further into the air until I was even with the lowest clouds. I flew straight into one and let myself bounce off the soft cushion into the other direction, drifting aimlessly through the air without a care in the world. When you're not getting kicked in the nose, flying is fantastic. I flew around for a few more minutes until I decided to land in Ponyville and walk around for a bit. What now? I guess I could always go pick up the pay from Bright Light for yesterday. I happily trotted through town to the weather building. I walked up to the door, but was surprised when it was locked. I noticed a note on the handle. OUT FOR LUNCH. BACK IN 45 MINUTES. "Whenever that'll be." I said to myself and walked away from the door. "Guess I can go visit Spark and Blaze. See what they've been up to." I leisurely strolled through town, greeting ponies as I went along. I can't wait until I get paid. I'll finally be able to buy my own stuff and I won't have to mooch off Dash. I'll buy something nice for her, and maybe take her out for lunch later. And if I have any left, I can buy a little something for myself. Maybe like a watch or something. Do they make watches for ponies? I wonder if- At that moment, I bumped into Rarity. I really need to start watching where I'm walking. "Oh, hello darling." She said, smiling. "Hey Rarity!" I said cheerfully. "Oh my, what happened to your nose?" She asked, pointing to my wrapped up snout. "Oh, I just had a little hoof-on-snout contact when I was clearing the skies yesterday. It should heal up in a few weeks." "Well I hope you get better soon. Other than that how have you been recently?" "Not bad. I fell asleep into a pond while on a date with Rainbow Dash. That's probably the most exciting thing that's happened lately." Rarity's ears briefly perked down at the mention of Rainbow Dash, then quickly perked up again. "Oh yes, you and Rainbow Dash are a couple now I hear. How is that working out for you?" She asked kind of half-heartedly. "Amazing. I couldn't ask for anypony better." I said. "Well...that's great. I'm happy for you two. Very...happy." Her last few words sounded disappointed and sad. "Yep. Well, I gotta go. See you around." I said. "See you later, White Flash." Rarity said, and started walking away as I did. I wonder what was wrong with her. She seemed pretty upset over something. Oh well, not my problem. I though as I strolled toward the wooden shack that was Spark and Blaze's house. I knocked on the front door and was greeted a few seconds later by Blaze. "Hey there, Flash." He said. "Hey, Blaze." I said. "What happened to your nose?" He asked, pointing to the bandages wrapped around my snout. "I got kicked. Hard." I said. "That's gotta hurt." Blaze said. "Yep." I agreed. "What are you guys up to?" "Well, we got super drunk last night-" "Again?" "Yeah. It's addictive, man. Anyways, no hangover though. I'm excited about that." I chuckled. "Where's Spark?" "GODDAMMIT!" I heard from inside the house, as if on cue. I looked inside to see Spark's hoof stuck in the broken wood of the stair case. "These fucking stairs are shit!" He yelled. "This whole house is shit!" He pulled his leg out of the broken wood, causing him to flip over onto another step, splitting the wood. "FUCK!" He looked over to me and hopped up, taking the splinters out of his hooves. "Sup, bitch." "Hey." I said. "What the fuck happened to your nose?" "He got kicked. Hard." Blaze said, mimicking what I said. "Ah." Spark said. "So we saw that you were with Rainbow Dash last night. Did you get some?" "Why is it always sex with you?" I asked. "Because why the fuck not, that's why." He said as he reached the doorway. "So? Yes or no?" "Uh, no." I said. "Goddamn dude. You're never gonna get anywhere in life." "Hey, we just started dating a few days ago. I don't want to take it too fast, y'know?" "Yeah yeah, whatever." He stepped aside. "Well, come on in and visit at Casa de Shit." I walked in and realized that the house was in worse condition than I thought. It was basically falling apart. "I hate this shit hole." Spark said. "But it's the only thing we got so I guess we gotta fucking deal with it." I looked around. "Well, anyways," I started, trying to change the subject, "how did you know I was out with Rainbow Dash?" "We saw you after we were on our way home from drinking." Spark started snickering and turned around to show me a long scar on his back. "I got this from last night. Ha ha, oh my god it hurt like a bitch but damn last night was legendary." "We drank so much." Blaze said. "And we even got dates." Spark said, smirking and brohoofing Blaze. "With who?" I asked. "I got Pinkie. Blaze here was a stud with Fluttershy." I looked over to Blaze, who was blushing. "Well, you know. I try my best." He said. "Speaking of that." Spark said, walking toward the door then turning toward Blaze and me. "I got some ice cream to eat." He smiled, then ran out of sight. "He seems excited." I said. "Yep." Blaze agreed. After a few minutes of silence, he said, "Do you think we should-" "Oh yes." I said, reading his mind. "Let's go." > 19. Lover Boy Spark > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- We followed Spark, making sure to stay hidden but keep him in sight. "So how do you think this will turn out?" Blaze asked as we sneaked through town. "Well, knowing Spark, he'll get her pregnant. But that's why we're here: to make sure he doesn't screw up." I said. "Nah, I don't think Spark has the guts for that." Blaze said. I looked at him like he was a madman screaming about the world ending. "Are we talking about the same pony here?" I asked. "I'm just saying. I know how he talks and everything, but ultimately, I think he would chicken out of it." "Really?" I said, starting to get intrigued. "How about we bet on that." "What?" "I'll bet you twenty bits that Spark will get some if he has the chance." I said. "Uh, what? You seriously want to bet on that?" He asked, confused. "Sure, we'll make this date interesting. With a bet." I smiled slyly. Blaze returned the smile. "You're on. Twenty bits." He said, and we shook hooves. Throughout our conversation, I didn't even notice that Spark suddenly stopped in front of Sugarcube Corner and was about to turn around. "Quick! Hide!" I whispered, and dashed behind a bush, followed by Blaze. We watched as Spark stood there, looking around as he waited. "Do you think she stood him up? I hope not. That would suck." Blaze said. "Shh!" I silenced him. Spark calmly looked around and breathed into his hooves and sniffed, then shrugged and slicked back his mane. "Looks like he's a little nervous." I chuckled. A couple moments later, an energetic pink pony came out of Sugarcube Corner. Spark's face instantly grew into a smile. "Hey, Pinkie." Spark said. "Hi, Spark!" Pinkie Pie said excitedly. "Ready to go?" "Ready when you are." Spark said, and walked off with Pinkie. Blaze snickered. "He's so fake right now." I smiled. "Ah, give him a break. It's probably his first date, like it was for me." We waited until they passed us, then I spoke up. "Alright, let's follow them." Blaze followed my lead out of the bush, and we walked casually behind them, close enough to hear their conversation but far enough away as to not be detected. "So, how's it been going lately?" Spark asked, starting small talk. "As wonderfully wonderful as ever! How have you been?" Pinkie asked. "Pretty great. I was looking forward to us getting ice cream today." Spark said. "Me too! I love to get to know new ponies better! Oh Oh! I have an idea! How about after this, we go see a movie! I've been wanting to see 'The Colt of the Crystal Lake'!" She said, and started jumping. Spark smiled. "Sounds great, Pinkie." They continued down the path while Spark continued to fake his entire personality until they came to an ice cream stand. "Two vanilla cones please." Spark said, and put two bits on the stand. "Where'd he get that money?" Blaze asked. "Probably found it on the ground on his way here or something." I said, and continued to watch them. Spark handed Pinkie the cone with a bright smile across his face. Pinkie returned the smile and took the cone happily. They walked along the path through the park and toward the theater. "So they're going to the movies now, huh?" I said. "Sounds like it." Blaze said. "How are we going to help him if we don't want to be seen?" I thought about that for a minute. "I know how!" I said, and took off a few feet in the air and took Blaze by the arms. "What are you-?" "We have to get ahead of them without them seeing, so the only way is flying. Don't worry, I won't drop you." I said, and lifted Blaze into the air. I have to admit, he was a lot heavier than I anticipated. I went high enough so they wouldn't see us, and I started breathing heavy as we went ahead to the theater. "Are you sure you can hold me? We're pretty high up and..." "I got you." I said, not entirely sure about myself. I heaved Blaze ahead as he sat there lazily. How can a pony be this heavy? "Is this what it's like to fly? This is incredible. I can see my house from here!" Blaze looked down at the town. "Yeah..." I said, still heaving. "It's a dream." We finally got to the theater, and I dropped Blaze about four feet above the ground, and he landed with a thud. "Jesus Christ, you're heavy." I said between breaths, and collapsed on the ground. Blaze sat up and rubbed his head. "That hurt ya know." He said in a whining tone. "Shut up." I said, and got off the ground. Blaze got up as well and he followed me over to the ticket seller. "Hey there!" I said with a confident smile to the gray stallion. "Hey." I was taken by surprise when he answered with a very gruff voice. "Um, how many ponies have bought tickets for 'The Colt of the Crystal Lake' today?" I asked. "Just that group of girls." He said, pointing to a group of four mares about to walk into the theater. "Thanks." I said, and dashed over to them. "Hey, you can't go in without-" He started to say, but I was already at the door. I stopped in front of the door, blocking the girls from entrance. "Um, excuse us." One of them said. "Wait, are you girls going to see 'The Colt of the Crystal Lake'?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "Um, yeah, we're trying. Could you move please?" Another said. "Oh, you ladies haven't heard?" I asked. "Heard what?" Another one said. "'The Colt of the Crystal Lake' showing got cancelled today at this theater." I said, praying they would believe me. "Really?" One of them asked, looking skeptical. "Uh, yeah! Everypony in town knows. One of the actors recently passed away, so the final showing was yesterday." Another looked at me. "Which actor?" She asked. "Oh, uh, the uh, the colt. Of the crystal lake. The guy who played him had...a hoof infection?" I said, not sure what I was getting myself into. "Really? And as popular as he is, he didn't get it treated?" "It was really bad. There was nothing the doctors could do except let nature take its course." I said, trying to keep a straight face. They all looked at me again. "And you're sure it's cancelled?" "Trust me, I keep up on the news. I know what I'm talking about." They all kept looking at me skeptically and I gave a nervous smile until they finally stopped. "Well, I guess that's okay. We've already seen it anyway. Come on, girls, let's go back to my house." They started off when I stopped them. "Wait, since those tickets are worthless now, do you girls mind if I have them?" I asked hopefully. "Why would you want them?" One of them asked. "Well, it's just, me and my friends never got to see it before this happened. It would mean a lot to us if we got to have some tickets to at least remember the movie." I said, sounding a little sad for effect. "Well..." "Please? You would be doing your good deed for the day." "Ugh, fine. Just take them." One put her ticket at her feet and the others followed. I quickly scooped them up. "Thank you so much!" I said with a bright smile. "Have a nice day!" I waited for them to be out of sight before I went over to Blaze and handed him a ticket. "That was a pretty good show you just put on. I can't believe they actually bought that ridiculous story." He said, clapping his hooves. "I know! Hoof infection? Is that even a thing?" I said, chuckling. "I don't know, but it worked!" Blaze looked at his ticket. "So what was the point of all this?" He asked me. "Well, for one, free tickets for the four of us. And two, to make sure the theater is cleared so it's just Spark and Pinkie in there." "Won't Spark see us if it's empty besides me and you?" Blaze asked. "Darn it Blaze, just quit questioning my motives. I got this." At that moment, we heard giggling and a familiar voice get closer. I dropped two of the tickets on the path and ran behind a tree, while Blaze dashed toward a bush. "I totally know what you mean! A lot of ponies don't understand how much work it takes to put together a party!" Pinkie said to Spark. "I know right! Someone does all this work, and they just enjoy it without so much as a thank you, and then they just expect more. So ungrateful. It's fuc-fu-fa-freaking annoying." Spark stumbled with his last few words and smiled nervously at Pinkie, who didn't seem to notice. They continued talking until they came up on the tickets I left. "Well, what do we have here?" Spark said as he picked up the tickets. Pinkie looked around. "It doesn't look like anypony around here dropped them." She said. "And look! They're tickets for 'The Colt of the Crystal Lake'!" Spark said. "I'd sure hate for these to go to waste." He said, and gave Pinkie a ticket. She smiled and followed him up to the ticket seller. "Here are our tickets, my good sir." Spark said as he put the tickets on the counter. "Alright, go on ahead." The stallion said, and the two continued into the theater. "Alright, now's our chance." I said to Blaze and we walked up to the ticket seller and laid the tickets down. "Here's our tickets!" I said with a convincing smile. "Wait, weren't you two just here?" He asked. "Yeah, yeah. Look, are you going to rely on past judgments, or are you going to let us in because we legally bought these tickets the other day with our own money?" I asked. He just looked confused. "Go on ahead I guess." "Great." I said, and motioned for Blaze to come with me into the theater. We walked in to the darkness, careful to look out for Spark and Pinkie. I looked around until I spotted them in the front row talking. "Okay, good. They're all the way up there." I whispered to Blaze. "The movie should start soon." At that moment, the screen lit up and the previews started showing. "Lucky guess." Blaze said, and we moved carefully to the back row. As the previews rolled, I watched Spark and Pinkie as they continued to talk and comment on the upcoming movies. "So what's the plan now?" Blaze asked me. "Well...I'm not sure." I said, then I got another idea. "Okay, stay here and watch to make sure they don't look back, and warn me if they do." "Got it." Blaze said. I slowly ascended into the air until my hooves were touching the tops of the seats. I carefully flew toward the front toward the two, when I realized that my wings were starting to get loud. I stopped flying and balanced myself on top of the seats and carefully walked on them to the front. I don't know if you've ever tried to walk on theater seats as a human, but as a pony it was nearly impossible. Please don't fall. "Oh! That movie looks really good! Oh! So does that one! Oh! That one looks even better!" Pinkie Pie went on as each preview played. Spark was having the time of his life with Pinkie, and he found it cute how she marveled at every movie. God, I sound like such a fucking pussy right now. Good thing no one else can hear my thoughts. Right? "Oh, I wish this movie would just start already! It's making me be excited for all these other movies!" Pinkie said. "It should start soon." Spark said. "Previews usually aren't more than five minutes." "Urg! That's like forever away!" Pinkie said, putting her hooves on her temples. Spark smiled and continued to watch the screen. God, this is awesome. Just me, Pinkie, and a movie. No Blaze or Flash to inevitably fuck this up. Can't fucking get better than this. "OH CRAP!" Spark and Pinkie heard someone behind them, and they turned around to see a black and red striped tail sticking up from a seat. A moment later he heard a quiet voice whisper, "Flash! They see you!" What. The. Fuck. Ouch. That had to have made a sound. I sat upside down on the seat directly behind Spark and rubbed my head. I hope they didn't hear that. "Goddammit Flash! What the fuck!" They heard me. I sat up and smiled nervously at Spark. "Hey there." "Fucking shit, why are you two here?" He asked. "Well-" "We're here to help you like we helped Flash." Blaze said as he walked down the aisle toward us. "Yeah." I said. Spark face hoofed. "Goddammit guys. This is the opposite of what I wanted to happen! I knew you guys would fuck everything up, and here you are! Fucking everything up!" He looked at us with a face of anger. "But we-" "No! You fucking didn't! I knew you guys would buttfuck my chances with her if you came along, and I was sure you didn't, but here you fucking are now!" "Hey, we're the ones who-" "Just shut the fuck up and get out of here! Let me enjoy this time with Pinkie that I have. Okay?" I sat there speechless for the next few moments. Spark has never gotten this mad at me. "Spark..." A stunned Pinkie Pie said. Spark's expression of anger suddenly changed to a look of 'oh shit'. "Do you really like me?" Now it was Spark's turn to be speechless. "U-uh, I, uh. Wh-where did you get that idea?" He asked nervously. "Well, you just said you didn't want them to ruin your chances with me." She giggled. "Does that mean you like me?" His eyes went wide. "U-uh w-well I, uh..." He sighed. "Yes." Pinkie smiled brightly. "Well in that case!" She suddenly pulled Spark into the seat. I couldn't see them behind that seat, but I heard kissing. Lots of kissing. A few seconds later, they came back up. Pinkie Pie with a large smile and Spark with a heavy blush and a look of utter disbelief. He suddenly smiled. "I'm gonna guess that you like me too, then?" Pinkie nodded vigorously. "You're really fun to talk to! And you're cute! What's not to like?" Spark's smile spread from ear to ear. "Flash, Blaze. Can I see you two for a second?" We were confused, but we followed Spark near the door. He turned to us with the brightest smile and put his arms around us. "Thank you! You wonderful motherfuckers you!" I chuckled. "No problem, Spark." "Anytime, buddy." Blaze said. Spark finally let go of us. "Later. You guys. Me. At the bar. I'm gonna buy you guys some drinks." He said. Blaze smiled. "With what money?" "Shit." Spark said, then waved it off. "No matter. I'm gonna fucking pay you guys back. Somehow." He looked over to Pinkie Pie, who was smiling and waving at him. "Now, if you guys don't mind, I have a movie to watch!" He said while not taking his sight off of Pinkie. "Just try not to get her pregnant, lover boy." I said, remembering what Spark said the night he helped me with Dash. "Fuck you." He said with a full smile, and went back to sit with Pinkie Pie. He put his arm around her and the movie finally began. "A match made in heaven." I smiled. "How much you want to bet Spark won't have a clue what the movie was about if we ask him later?" Blaze said. We shared a laugh and headed out of the theater into the bright day. "Well, I wish I could visit with you longer, Flash, but it's about time for me to meet up with Fluttershy." Blaze said after we got a little ways away from the theater. "Oh, man. I wish I could come with, but Rainbow Dash is probably wondering where I am by now. I didn't even leave her a note when I left the house." I said, wishing I had told her where I was. "It's fine." Blaze said. "I think I can handle myself. I've learned a thing or two from you and Spark. I think I got this." "Are you sure?" I asked. "Spark will never let you hear the end of it if you don't ask her out." "I think I'll be fine." He said. "I'll let you know how it goes." "Sounds good." I said. "Good luck, bro." Blaze smiled. "Thanks." He headed off in the other direction, leaving me in the middle of Ponyville. I looked up at the sky and smiled. Life is wonderful. > 20. The Sappy and Boring Overdone Romance Chapter > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, now what? I started to aimlessly walk through town and enjoyed my surroundings. I still had a lot of my day left and I had already lost both of my friends to their dates. What to do next. I should probably go check up on Rainbow Dash. Hope she's not worried. Maybe next time I should tell her before I leave. I started worrying so much about Dash, then I remembered why I left in the first place. I headed toward the weather ponies building to pick up my pay from yesterday. When I arrived, the sign about Bright Light's lunch break was gone. Looks like she's finally back. I opened the door to be greeted by Bright Light, who was sitting at the greeting desk rather than the usual mare that sat there. "Hey there, White Flash." "Hey, Bright Light." I greeted. "Yeesh. How's your nose?" She asked, pointing to my wrapped snout. "Well, it's fractured, but it doesn't hurt as much as it did yesterday." I said. "Gosh. Well, I hope you get better soon." "Trust me, I'm trying." She chuckled. "I would hope so. So what was it you needed?" "Oh yeah, I'm here to pick up my pay for yesterday." I said. "You're a little late, kiddo. She already came by and picked up both of your pays." Bright Light said. "Oh, okay. How long ago did she leave?" I asked. "About ten minutes ago. She was looking for you." After learning this, I felt pretty bad. "Do you know where she could've went off to?" I asked. "Well, she said something about going to see one of her friends to see if they knew where you were." "By any chance, do you remember which friend she said?" I asked, hoping it wasn't who I thought it would be. "I think it was somepony named Shutterfly or something. That's all I remember." She said. "Okay, thanks." I said quickly, and took off out of the building. I flew as fast as I could toward the path to Fluttershy's cottage. Oh man, oh man, oh man! I have to get to Rainbow Dash before she gets to Fluttershy's! I don't want her to interrupt Blaze and Fluttershy. This could be his only chance! I finally got to the dirt path and slowed down. If I'm gonna find Dash, I need to not speed past everything. I flew through the air and looked around for her, with no luck. Eventually, I saw Blaze trotting down the path, but still no Rainbow Dash. She's probably there by now if Blaze is on the path. I flew faster down the path to Fluttershy's, making sure Blaze never saw me on the way. When the cottage was finally in my sight, I saw a rainbow colored pony come out of the front door, her back facing me. I slowly flew toward her and landed behind her. "Alright, well thanks anyway, Fluttershy. I hope you have fun." She turned around and jumped in surprise. "Hey, Dash. I heard you were looking for me." I said with a smile. I was suddenly enveloped in a strong embrace. "Oh my goodness, Flash. I've been looking all over for you!" She said. When she finally let go, she asked, "Where were you? I didn't even hear you get out of bed." "Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you. I went to-" "Hey, Flash." I turned to see Blaze. Well crap. "Hey, Blaze." I said. "Dash, have you met my friend, Blaze yet?" "I don't think so." She said, walking over to him. "I'm Rainbow Dash. Nice to meet you." She extended her hoof and they shook. "Nice to meet you too. I'm Blaze." Blaze said, a little obviously. "So are you that stallion that Fluttershy's been talking about?" Dash asked. "I-wait, she was talking about me?" Blaze got really hopeful. "Oh yeah, she-" "Alright, Dash, I think we should go!" I suggested, and flew into the air. "Already?" She interjected, "I only just got acquainted with Blaze." I gave her a pleading look that said, Please, we should go. Rainbow Dash sighed in understanding. "Alright. See you later, Blaze." "See ya." Blaze said. He looked up at me and I mouthed the words 'good luck'. He turned and knocked on the door to Fluttershy's cottage, and then Dash flew up to me. "So where were you this whole time?" She asked. "Oh yeah, I was with Blaze and another one of my friends, Spark." I said. "Blaze and I were helping Spark with a little date he had." "Ohh. So are these the same friends that you said helped you on our first date?" She asked. "Yeah. I just thought I'd return the favor." "Well, that was nice of you. But next time, do you mind at least waking me up and tell me you're going somewhere first? I was worried sick about you." I put on my best impression of puppy dog eyes. "You're not mad at me are you?" I said playfully. She just smiled. "Well, I was," She hugged me and rubbed her muzzle into my neck. "But I can't stay mad at you." I smiled and put my arm around her. "So now that you found me, whatt'ya want to do now?" She looked up at me. "I don't know. What do you want to do?" "Well, are you hungry? We could go get some lunch. I'll pay." I said. She smiled brightly. "That sounds perfect." She let go of me and brought out some bits. "You'll probably need this first though." "Is this my pay from the job yesterday?" I asked. "Yep. We both made 250 bits. Not bad for your first job, huh?" Dash said. "Definitely." I said, and took the bits. We flew together toward town. We flew a lot slower than we usually did, just enjoying our time together. "So, about your friend, Blaze." Dash started. "Yeah?" "Was he there to visit with Fluttershy?" "Uh, yeah. How did you know?" I asked. "Well, when I went to ask Fluttershy if she knew where you were, she was cleaning her house really frantically. She said it was because somepony she liked was coming over, and she didn't want it to be a mess." "Really? Well, I guess that's good news for Blaze." I said. "Because he likes Fluttershy." "Huh. I guess that's good news for Fluttershy too." Well, I guess Blaze doesn't need my help after all. Assuming he's brave enough to ask her. Blaze knocked on the door of Fluttershy's cottage. "Just a minute!" He heard a quiet voice from inside. He sat there patiently, waiting for Fluttershy come out and greet him. Oh man, oh man, butterflies. He took a deep breath. Relax. Don't think about it. Just do it. Act natural and feel comfortable. Act like you know what to say to everything. Act like you're not a nervous wreck. Act like you're not afraid of absolute rejection. Blaze gulped nervously. Oh god, this seemed like such a better idea ten minutes ago. He looked around and saw White Flash and Rainbow Dash in the distance. That could be us. I just half to be cool. Don't muck it up. Remember Flash and Spark. I can do this. Blaze heard the door start to open. Oh God, I can't do this. "That was fun, Sparky!" Pinkie Pie said gleefully as her and Spark walked out of the theater. "It sure was." Spark said, still with a look of absolute joy plastered on his face. "And the movie wasn't half bad, either." Pinkie giggled. "You are too sweet! Like a cupcake! And I love cupcakes!" She said excitedly. Spark laughed. "Well, I think you're sweeter than any cupcake I've ever seen." Pinkie gasped. "You think I'm sweeter than a cupcake? And cupcakes are really sweet! And you like cupcakes?" Spark nodded. "That is too sweet!" Pinkie went into a fit of giggling, and Spark couldn't help but join in. The way she giggled made him smile every time. Holy shit, here I am again, sounding like a fucking pussy. Goddamn, it's a good thing my thoughts aren't written down somewhere where people can see them. Spark thought, but continued to laugh. "You know, you still haven't asked me out yet." Pinkie chimed in after her fit of laughter. Well shit, I'm fucking stupid. "Oh. Uh, well, Pinkie, do you want to-" "Of course, silly!" Pinkie said with the brightest smile. Spark suddenly felt himself in the middle of a giant Pinkie hug. Spark looked more surprised than he did in the theater. A hug. From Pinkie Pie. All those shitty times in my life. When my parents died. When I was put in a shit hole orphanage where no one gives a fuck about you. When I got rejected by the only people I called friends. I always thought a hug from Pinkie would make it better. Just seeing that bright smiling face in my arms would make me forget the pain in my horrible life. Just for a moment. He hugged her tightly closer to him, with tears threatening to flood down his face. Best fucking day of my entire goddamn life... "Well that was really good." I said as Rainbow Dash and I walked out of the restaurant. "Now you see why it's my favorite place to go." She said. "Definitely." I said. "I'm stuffed." Dash leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek and smiled. "Thanks for taking me out." "Anytime, Dash!" I said with a cheerful smile. It felt great to make Dash happy. We walked through town together, making jokes, talking, and speculating how Blaze and Fluttershy were doing. "I'm sure they're fine." Rainbow Dash said. "Fluttershy seemed to really like him." "I'm worried about Blaze. I think he'll be too shy to tell her." I said. "He'll be fine, Flash. If he can help you on a date, surely he can handle his own date." "That's what I'm afraid of." "I mean, I didn't ask for nachos, I said it's 'not yours'!" Blaze said, finishing an incredibly lame joke. What is wrong with me? That joke sucks! He was amazed when Fluttershy started giggling. "You're pretty funny." Blaze laughed nervously. "Uh, thanks. I try." They smiled at each other. Oh god, that adorable smile. Blaze thought. I don't think I can handle getting rejected by that wonderful smile. "Is something wrong?" Fluttershy asked. Oh no! Did I do something? What did I do? "N-no. Why?" Blaze asked. "You seem like you're worried about something." She said. "O-oh, um, w-well..." I can't even talk without stuttering! Fluttershy came closer to him. "What is it? You can tell me." "Well...I don't know if I can..." Blaze said. What to do, what to do... She came even closer and smiled sweetly. "Of course you can! What's troubling you?" If I'm ever going to do it, this is my chance. He looked up into her reassuring eyes. "I...u-uh...I..." Spit it out! "I like you..." Fluttershy leaned in and raised her ear, signifying that she didn't hear. "I think you're cute." She raised her ear higher. Blaze took a deep breath. "I think you're really adorable and I like talking to you and I like spending time with you and I like the way you flip your mane when you're nervous and I like your sweet voice and I like how you always care for others and I like how you are always nice and I like your wonderful personality and I like your eyes and I like your cute smile and I like you!" Blaze said in rapid fire. He suddenly went to the floor and put his hooves over his eyes. Why did I say that? Why couldn't I stop talking? Why am I such an idiot? Why am I so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stup- "I..." Fluttershy started. She hates me, she hates me, she hates me. Ugh, I'm so stupid! "I don't know what to say..." Fluttershy said. Blaze still laid on the floor with his hooves over his eyes, not moving. She reached down and took his hoof off of his eye. He looked up at her smiling face. "Except...I like you too." Oh. My. God. Blaze took his other hoof off of his eye while Fluttershy still held the other. He got off of the floor and smiled nervously at her. Before he realized what he was doing, he leaned in and gave her a long lasting kiss on the lips. Like I said. He thought. Don't think about it. Just do it. > 21. The Good, the Bad, and Then There's Blaze > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- WARNING: ADULT/SLIGHTLY OFFENSIVE HUMOR AHEAD. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT THEN MEH. The next couple of hours were filled with Rainbow Dash and I hanging out around town, not doing any one thing in specific, mostly just walking around and wasting time. But even doing nothing, we had fun together. Eventually though, we got bored and Dash wanted to head home. "I'll be there in a bit, Dash. I'm going to go see how Blaze and Spark are." I said. She sighed. "Alright. But please don't be long. I don't want to have to send a search party or something after you." Dash said jokingly. I smiled. "No worries, I shouldn't be there longer than twenty minutes." She looked at me skeptically. "Well, more or less." She smiled and gave me a quick hug. I waved to her as she took off into the golden evening sky toward the house. I turned and started trotting toward Blaze and Spark's house. I wonder how they're doing. Can't wait to hear from Blaze. And maybe Spark's date wasn't as predictable as I think it was. I rounded the corner toward the pathetic looking wooden house that my two friends called home, and walked over to the door. Before I even got the chance to knock, the door swung open to a beaming Spark. "Sup, my brotha?" He said a little too excitedly. "Uh, hey Spark." I said, a little stunned at his energy. "Well don't just stand there like a fucking idiot. Come on in, dude!" He said with a huge smile. I walked in, and Spark went over to the kitchen. "You want anything to eat?" He asked. "No thanks, I'm good." I said. I was still full from lunch with Dash. Spark just shrugged and looked around for a snack "So how'd it go with Pinkie?" I asked. He suddenly stopped and turned to me with the brightest smile that I thought I'd never see. "It was fucking incredible, dude!" He said, overjoyed. "I fucking dreamed of today for so long man, you have no fucking idea." "Glad to hear. She seemed to really like you." I said, chuckling. "Oh, hell yeah, dude." Spark said. "She even called me Sparky. That's some serious shit right there." I just smiled and shook my head. I looked around and noticed Blaze wasn't here. "Is Blaze not back yet?" I asked. "Back from what?" Spark asked. I forgot he didn't know Blaze left for his date yet. "He went to Fluttershy's after we left the theater." I said. "Holy shit." Spark said, astonished. "He actually had the fucking guts to go alone? Damn, I'm proud of him." "I just can't really imagine Blaze being able to be on a date by himself. He's too-" "Awkward, idiotic, shy, anxious, quiet, boring, socially challenged, nervous, just all around a woman about everything." Spark finished my sentence for me. "Uh, yeah. I hope he didn't screw up." I said. "Eh, the way he made it sound, it was just him and Fluttershy meeting up, not an actual date." Spark said, going to a cabinet for a snack. He opened the wooden door and it fell off its hinges. "Goddammit." He said to himself, but continued to rummage through the cabinet for food. "Yeah, but I think Blaze saw it as a date." I said after Spark was done cursing at the cabinet. "And apparently, according to Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy likes him, too." "Well there ya fucking go." Spark said with a mouthful of cupcakes. "He's probably drowning in the pink by now." We started laughing at that joke, then Blaze burst through the door with a blank expression on his face. "Sup, bitch." Spark said with his mouth still full. "How'd it go?" "Uh, g-good, good." Blaze said kind of nervously. "Well, don't keep us waiting, we need details, man." I said. "I don't think you would want to know the details." Blaze said. "Why the fuck not?" Spark asked, taking another bite of a cupcake. "Well..." "Yeah." I said. "Did you ask her out? Did she say yes? What happened?" "I, uh..." "It's a simple question, dipshit." Spark said. "..." "Just tell us, dude." I said. "Yeah," Spark said with an entire cupcake shoved in his mouth. "Spit it out!" "We had sex!" Blaze suddenly yelled. Everything in Spark's mouth was spat across the floor. "WHAT THE FUCK???" He yelled. "Jesus, Blaze." I said, unable to believe what I just heard. There is no way he's serious. "YOU'VE GOTTA BE TITTY FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW!" Spark yelled. Blaze just slowly shook his head. "HOLY SHIT DUDE!" "You're serious?" I asked. He slowly nodded. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!" Spark yelled once more. "What-how did-why did-what?" I asked in unfinished questions. "One thing led to another..." Blaze started. "And what? Your penis just fucking tripped and fell in? 'Oh, hey there, Flutters. Whoops! I slipped! Oh, how'd that get in there?'" Spark mocked. "Well, it wasn't exactly like that..." Blaze said. I stood there in disbelief. "The getting pregnant thing was a joke, Blaze!" "Oh, she's not pregnant." Blaze said, matter-of-factly. "And how do you-?" I stopped and my eyes widened when I realized what he did. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHAT THE FUCK, BLAZE!" Spark yelled. "What? It wasn't on her face..." "OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Spark covered his ears. "Wha?" Was all I could think to say at the moment. Spark finally calmed down and shook his head. He looked over to me and sighed. "Well, I mean, we gotta give him props for pulling out in time-" "What the hell, Spark?" I said. He put his hooves in the air. "Hey, I'm just looking on the fucking bright side." He went over to Blaze and shook his hoof. "I respect you, sir." I facehoofed. You've gotta be kidding me right now. Blaze looked at us, unsure of what to say. "Well, I mean, she still likes you right? After...that." Spark asked. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure." Blaze said. "Well then that's all that matters." Spark said. "You achieved your goal and even had some fun while doing so. Nice work my friend." I sighed. "As much as I hate to agree with Spark, I guess he has a point." What am I saying? "See? Now you're getting some motherfucking sense." Spark said. "Although, not sure how the mane five will react when they learn you fucked their best friend." Blaze's eyes grew wide. "Eh, but that's a problem for another time though." Spark smiled and patted Blaze on the back. Blaze just gulped nervously. I smiled and shook my head. "Well, I'd say you did okay without help, Blaze." "I guess I did." Blaze said, starting to get more confidence. "You know, this is a time for celebration." Spark said. "Our little Blaze just lost his virginity. To a horse, too. This calls for an epic party of ludicrous fucking proportions." Blaze chuckled slightly. "I think that's a little much." "Nah, we still got homemade booze from the other day." Spark said. "We can party our fucking dicks off." I smiled, then realized that it was starting to get late. "You guys go on ahead and have fun without me. I have to get back home." "Fuckin' whipped!" Spark said as he levitated a couple of bottles with dark liquid over to us. "What?" I asked. "You're fucking pussy whipped, dude." Spark said. "Rainbow Dash has you on a leash." "What? No she doesn't." I said. "Then why're you going home so early?" Spark asked. "Because Dash wanted me to..." Spark raised an eyebrow at me. "Face it, dude. You and her have spent almost all your free time together." "Because I want to." I said. "Or because she wants to." Spark said smugly. "She doesn't control me." I said, starting to get a little annoyed. "She just doesn't want me out too late. That's all." "Then surely you can stay for a few drinks." Spark said, levitating a bottle in front of me. "Have some fun for once in your life." "I'm not even old enough to drink." I said, trying to resist the offer. "Well, I'm only seventeen and I haven't died yet." Spark said. "Then how did you guys get into a bar?" I asked. Spark shrugged. "Fuck if I know. They let us in and we didn't ask questions." I eyed the bottle. I should really get back to Dash, but I don't want to prove Spark right. I took the bottle in my hooves. One drink can't hurt. 10 MINUTES LATER "Ohh, fuckck man!" Spark said while laughing uncontrollably. "He'sffuckin' doin' it!" "CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!" Blaze yelled. I closed my eyes as I flooded my insides with more of the sweet liquid. I put the bottle down and came up for air. "Whoaoah!" I said, dazed and off balance. I fell to the floor and we all started laughing hysterically. "You'ree a fuckkin' aminal, bro." Spark said as he put his arm around me. I looked up at him lazily and let out a large belch. Spark quickly backed up while Blaze clapped and yelled "I give thata eight outta ten!" I slowly and unsteadily got to my feet. "Dude, yuo're sooo drunk right now." Spark said as he took another swig of one of the bottles. "I'm drunk?" I started. "You-" I stopped and vomited mid sentence. "-'re drunkerr than, I am!" Blaze snickered drunkenly. "Duudee. You jus, like, puked." I wiped off my mouth with my hoof. "Nah, it'ss fine, it'ss fine." I said. I went over to a chair and placed it over the vomit. "See? It'ss likeyou never sawit." "Ohma god, dude." Spark said as he put his hoof on my shoulder. "You. You have ssuch good ideass, when you'ree drunk." "I do!" I said, excited. "You undersstand!" We all went into a fit of laughter. 1 HOUR LATER "Summer has come and passed! The innocent can never last! Wake me up when September ends!" Blaze and I yelled as we swayed back and forth. "COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE!!!" Spark interrupted us. We both looked at him like he was a lunatic. "You don't..." "If you donno the wordss, jus, don't..." "Don't sing." "Yeahh, you don' sing iffyou don' know tha wordss." "It wasssouth park guys." Spark said. "Don'tcha ever, watch south park?" We continued to look at him strangely and started singing again. ANOTHER HOUR LATER "I-I never toldya this, man. But, I alwayssaw you as a brother." Spark said as he poked Blaze in the chest. "Oh, god, man. That'sso deep, I, I can't even." Blaze drunkenly responded. "Say you love him!" I whispered loudly to Blaze. "I, I alwayssaw you as more of a uncle. A awesome uncle." Blaze said. "Boo!" I yelled. "Shut, thefuck up! We'reehavin' a moment over'ere!" Spark said. He turned to Blaze. "Come'ere, dude!" "I love ya man!" Blaze said. "I tolerate ya man!" Spark said. They hugged each other tight while I sat idly by on the side and drank the rest of my bottle. ONE MORE HOUR LATER "FUCK! WE'RE OUTTA BOOZE!" Spark yelled as he threw a bottle across the room, shattering it on the wall. "Noooooooooooooooo!!!" Blaze fell to his knees and started sobbing. "Why???" I just looked around, confused. "Sso, party's over?" I asked. "Party's fuckin' over!" Spark said. "Awww." I said. "Hey, it'sss okay. We had fun, right?" Spark said. "Yeahh. Say, what time iss it?" I asked. "It'ss like almost ten." "Oh no! I wassupposed to be home, like, way before now!" I panicked. "Hey, don'worry'bout it." Spark said. "You getton home to yer girl. Me and Blaze and me will clean up." "Ohmygosh, thankss." I said. "Don' menshun it. Now go. She's awaitin'." Spark said with a wink. "Ohhohohoho! Ok!" I laughed. "See y'all later!" "Byee!" Spark said, as Blaze was still kneeling on the ground crying. I stumbled out the door into the night, hoping I could find my way back home. So, so. I jus hafta go where I usually go. I thought to myself. I could get there faster if I flew! It sounded like such a good idea at the time. I took off shakily and had no flight pattern as I zigzagged through the air. I think it's this way. Maybe. Maybe that tree knows how to get there. Oh, hey there's a lake. But why is it coming toward me? Did I say something to it? The next thing I knew, I was six feet under the lake's cold water. I swam back up and looked around. Boy, this lake sure does like me. Man, I'm thirsty. I looked down at the lake as I floated. I'm swimmin' in water! Duh! I put my jaw under the surface and ingested at least a gallon of water. That was tasty. I looked at the sky and I saw the house in the distance. Okay, there it is. I swam to the shore and shook my head. I suddenly looked at my surroundings. What am I doing? Wait, am I actually aware of what I'm doing right now? I looked at the lake. Maybe the water in Equestria has magical undrunkifying powers or something. I looked back at the house in horror. Dash is gonna kill me! I raced over to the house as fast as I could and landed at the front step. I went to open the door and was surprised when the knob wouldn't turn. Did she? She locked me out! I stopped trying to open the door and sighed in defeat. Clever girl. I flew around the house, trying all the windows. All locked. I've gotta get in somehow. I flew over to the bedroom window. No Rainbow Dash. I flew to the living room window. No Rainbow Dash. I flew to the entertainment room window. Still no Rainbow Dash. Where could she be? I was about to give up when I remembered about the spare key under the welcome mat. I flew back over to the front door and picked up the mat. There was no key to be found. I laid down on the front steps and sighed. "Well, I guess I deserve this." I said aloud. I closed my eyes, ready to sleep. "Yeah, you probably do." I heard a voice behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Dash hovering in front of the steps. "But I wouldn't do that to you." I smiled and got off the floor. "Look Dash, I'm so so so so so so sorry." I started. She landed in front of me to listen to my speech. "I really didn't think that Spark and Blaze would keep me so long. Trust me, I wanted to leave, but they wouldn't let me go. Blaze just wouldn't stop talking about how it went with Fluttershy and I didn't want to just be rude and leave and-" "Alright, Flash, that's good." Dash said. "What?" I asked, a little confused. She chuckled. "It's okay. I know how you guys can be. I knew you would be out for a little bit." "So, you're not mad or anything?" I asked. "Of course not." She said. "I only locked the door to mess with ya. I thought it'd be fun to watch, and it was." She laughed. Very clever girl. "Well then." I said. "Can we go inside now? I think I've had more than enough adventure for one day." Dash walked over and unlocked the door. "Did you guys have a party or something?" "Oh, yeah." I said. "You have no idea." We walked in and I stretched and yawned loudly. "Tired?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Very." I said. "I think I'm going to head to bed." "Alright. I'll be in there in a few minutes." I yawned. "Night." "Night." I walked into the bedroom and collapsed on the plush cloud bed. I was out cold before my head even hit the pillow. > 22. I Drug Myself and Sleep Some More > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I woke the next morning with a slight headache that hurt just enough to be very annoying. I opened my eyes to see an empty space in front of me. Rainbow Dash must be awake then. I sat up in bed and stretched. I blinked off my tiredness while the headache still bothered me. At least it's not a terrible hangover like Blaze and Spark had. I thought to myself. Maybe drinking a gallon of Equestrian water helps or something. I got out of the bed and stood. The pounding in my head increased. Ow...Ow...Ow...Ow... It was starting to become more than an annoying pain. Maybe my pain medicine will help. I walked over to the bedroom door and opened it, only to see Rainbow Dash suddenly jump back. "Oh, Flash you scared me." Dash said when she realized it was just me. I smiled. "Do I really look that bad when I wake up?" She chuckled. "No, but I wasn't expecting you to open the door before I did." "Well I wasn't expecting you to be here when I opened the door, but you don't see me jumping all over the place." I said. She shoved me playfully and smiled. "Shut up." I grinned and walked into the bathroom to get the pain pills. I should probably only take one so it doesn't make me too drowsy. I looked in the mirror and noticed that a small patch of fur was missing under my eye. I looked closer and saw that it was a small pink scar. What the hell did I do last night? I touched it gently with my hoof, then I suddenly remembered. Oh yeah, this was from when Spark punched me in the face for calling him a dummy after he chugged an entire bottle last night. Now that I think about it, knocking me out cold was a little harsh for that. I smiled at the thought of last night. I had the time of my life. I opened the medicine cabinet and found the pain pills I was looking for. I put one in my mouth and washed it down with some water from the faucet. "Your snout hurting again?" Dash asked as she walked into the bathroom. "Uh, yeah." I lied. I didn't want to tell her I was a little hungover from last night. That wouldn't look good at all. She came up to me and kissed me on the cheek. "Well get better soon, champ." She said with an adorable look on her face. That made me smile, and I kissed her back, this time on the lips. We held the sweet kiss for a few moments before we both pulled away slightly reluctantly. She looked up at me with the cutest blush that I had ever seen. That look combined with the kiss I had just received made me smile more than I ever had in my entire life. She smiled back at me and we walked out into the hall toward the living room. "Well, we have a storm scheduled this evening." Dash said when we got into the living room. "That'll be interesting for you." "Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that." I said. "Where do we get the rain clouds?" "We just find some clouds, group them together, and put them in the lake to fill them with water. And then nature happens!" She said. "Well nature's lucky." I said. "It doesn't have to do the hard part." Dash laughed at that, and she walked into the kitchen and opened a cabinet. She grabbed some apples and brought one over to me. "You hungry?" I took the apple from her. "You know me so well." After we ate, Dash went over to the front door and opened it, looking over the town. She took a deep breath of fresh air. "Well I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go out and enjoy the day before we have to make that storm. I think I'll go visit Fluttershy and see how things went with her and your friend." I snickered. "Well, be ready for a surprise." "Why? What happened?" Dash asked. "Oh, Fluttershy will probably tell you." I said with a smirk. Dash just shrugged. "Well anyway, I'm gonna hang out with Fluttershy until it's time for the storm." I walked over to her and pulled her close to me with my arm. "See you then." I said. She wrapped her arms around my neck in a hug. "See you then." She said, and took off into the air toward Fluttershy's cottage. I shut the door and walked over to the couch. I sat down and leaned my head on the arm rest. My headache was almost gone, but I was starting to get drowsy. Damn medicine. I closed my eyes and rested for a little bit. A few minutes won't hurt. "Ugh...shit..." Spark said groggily as woke up with his head pounding. He lifted his head off the hard wooden floor and looked around to see an absolute mess of beer bottles, broken furniture, and vomit. He looked over to see one of the windows shattered, with the broken shards littering the floor. One of the staircases was completely destroyed in a heap of rotting wood. He looked up at the balcony that held his bed to see Blaze passed out over the broken railing. Spark laid his head back on the ground and started laughing. "What the fuck happened last night?" Fluttershy woke peacefully in her bed to the sounds of chirping birds. She smiled, remembering the day before. She never thought she'd ever do something like that with anypony. But she did, and with no regret. She liked Blaze a lot, and thought he was a lot like her. It was so cute how nervous he was. Of course, Fluttershy was nervous too, but she felt more comfortable around Blaze for some reason. He was so nice and considerate. And all those things he said about her were so sweet and made her feel so special. No pony had ever said anything like that to her before. She smiled again just thinking about Blaze. I suddenly bolted straight upright on the couch. How long was I asleep? I got off the couch and looked outside. It looked to be about mid afternoon. I stretched. I still have some time to do whatever I want. But what should I do? I thought for a little bit and realized that I'm in Equestria. With six of my all time favorite characters from any show. I'll just go visit one of them for a little bit. I guess I can just walk around until I see one of them. I got up and walked out the door onto the front steps. I stretched my wings as wide as they would go and took off into the blue sky. Once again, flying through the air got the best of me, and I ended up goofing off for half an hour before I realized what I was doing. I quit messing around and started flying into Ponyville. I landed in town and trotted around, greeting ponies as I went along. A lot of them knew me just from me being so friendly around town. That's what I love about this world. Saying hello to everyone is more common than just passing by and saying nothing. Not like how it was back on Earth. As I walked through the peaceful town, I realized that I was starting to get hungry. Maybe Applejack is at the market selling some food. I trotted over to the market where all the vendors sold their goods, and sure enough, there was Applejack at her usual spot. "Hey, Applejack!" I said merrily as I walked up to her stall. "Well howdy there, White Flash." She said, tipping her hat. "How are ya?" "Great. And you?" "Just as fine as I can be sellin' apples I suppose." Applejack said. "I've been havin' to work at the stall sellin' while Big Macintosh has been has been gettin' all the apples. At least I have the easier job." She laughed, then stopped when she saw the bandages that constricted my snout. "How'd ya-?" "I got kicked." I said, giving her a simple answer before she could even finish the question. "Ah." She said. My stomach growled and I remembered why I came to find Applejack. "So, what all do you have for sale?" I asked. "Well, I got apple pie, apple fritters, regular apples, all kinds of stuff!" She said with a bright smile "I think I'll try an apple fritter." I said. Maybe they're as good in real life as they seemed to be on the show. "That'll be two bits, please." Applejack said. I took out the money and placed it on the counter, and Applejack handed me the fritter. I picked it up and examined it. It looked so good. I took a huge bite and instantly fell in love with the sweet flavor. I scarfed the rest of it down in two more bites. "My, my," Applejack marveled. "Somepony's hungry." "Oh my gosh." I said. "That was even better than the apple pie! Can I have another?" "Well, sure, if ya got two more bits." Applejack said. I couldn't get the bits out fast enough. I eagerly set them on the table and Applejack gave me another fritter. I was going to savor the taste in my mouth as long as I could, but I quickly gave up on that after a few seconds. "It's just not fair how good your food is, Applejack." I said after finishing the sweet apple snack. "Shoot," Applejack said with a small blush. "Well, thank ya." "No, thank you." I said with a smile. Apples have never tasted as good as they have these past few days. "So, how has it been with you and Rainbow Dash?" Applejack asked. "I heard you two started gettin' together." "It's been wonderful." I said. "I couldn't ask for anypony better." "Well that's good ta hear." Applejack said. "I know she was excited to tell me you two started dating." Hearing Applejack say that brought a smile to my face. "Hey, Applejack, I have a question." I said after a few moments. "Ask away, sugarcube." "Well, you seem to be pretty close to Dash." I said. "Do you think she would like some kind of jewelry or something else nice like that?" "Aw, that'd be mighty sweet of ya." Applejack said. "I think she'd like some kinda necklace. Not somethin' too girly, but still pretty. Not somethin' too extravagant but still cool." I wasn't sure what Applejack meant by that. Seeing the confusion on my face made her chuckle. "Don't worry, sugarcube. If you know Rainbow Dash, you'll know what to get when ya see it." "I guess you're right." I said. "Could you do me a favor and not tell Dash I'm getting her something? I kinda want it to be a surprise." Applejack did a zipping motion over her mouth with a hoof. "My lips are sealed." I smiled again. "Thanks." "Anytime." I looked at the sky and noticed it was starting to get farther into the afternoon and closer to evening. It was a lot later when I left than I thought. "Well, Applejack, it was nice seeing you, but I have to go help make a storm that's scheduled in a little bit." I said. "You might want to get back home before it starts." "Thanks for the heads up." She said. "Later, sugarcube." "See you later, Applejack." I said, and started walking to the weather pony building for the job. Here's hoping I don't break something this time. > 23. The Sonic Light Boom > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As I walked through town on the sunny, but soon to be dreary day, I encountered two other pegasi who were also on their way to the weather job. One was a yellow stallion with a dark colored short mane, and the other was a pink mare with a long bright red mane. Our conversation started with them being friendly and greeting me, then we eventually realized that we were all going to the same place. "Were you that guy that got kicked in the nose?" The stallion asked, obviously seeing my bandage. "Yeah, yeah I was." I said. "Oh my gosh. Did it hurt that bad?" The mare inquired. "Oh yes. Very much so." I said a little dramatically to stress that it felt like a ton of bricks hitting me in the face. "I'd imagine." Said the stallion. "Getting kicked straight in the snout sounds like it would give you a concussion or something." "Well luckily it was only a fracture. I'll be all good in a couple weeks." I said. "Well, that's good to hear." The mare said as we arrived at the weather building. The stallion looked around at the small number of pegasi present. "Either we're early, or almost no pony showed up." "We're probably early." I said. I walked over to the weather schedule posted on the door. Wednesday - Thunderstorm starts at 7:00 p.m. Thursday - Thunderstorm cleanup starts at 9:00 a.m.; Distribute clouds Friday - Cloud cleanup starts at 12:00 p.m. "Looks like the rest of the week's going to be pretty busy." I said. "Nothing we can't handle." The mare said with distinctive pegasus confidence. I looked around at the area in front of the weather building. A few more pegasi were starting to show up, mostly in groups. "Oh, there's our team." The stallion said. "We should probably get with them. It was nice meeting you, uh..." "White Flash." I said. "And it was nice meeting you...?" I asked, trying to mimic him. "Yellow Feather." He said. "And I'm Rosebud." The mare said. "Well, it was nice meeting you both." I said. They both smiled and walked over to their weather team. Well, what now? To pass the time, I decided to stretch my wings a bit and fly a few laps around the perimeter of the court yard that we all met up in. A few other ponies saw me, and decided to join me to warm up their wings to prepare for the upcoming job. After a little bit, I got tired of flying in circles, so I flew down to the rest of the ponies and sat on the ground. I looked in the sky in hopes of seeing Rainbow Dash on her way, but of course I had no such luck. I sighed and laid on the ground. So. Boring. My ears perked up when I heard the clip-clop of hooves behind me, but my hopes went down the drain when I turned to see Mira. "Hi, White Flash! How's your nose?" She asked first thing. "A lot better than the other day." I said, not interested in the conversation. "Well, you know I still feel really bad about it." She said. "It's fine, Mira, It's fine." I said, wanting her to drop the subject. "I know, I know." She said. "But still." I really wanted her to just stop talking about my nose already, but it seemed like she'd never let herself live in down. And frankly, it was annoying. Okay, maybe it was only annoying to me because I was still a little sour about her kicking me. I know it was an accident and she didn't mean to and I should probably forgive her, but damn it hurt! "Hey guys!" I heard the familiar sweet voice I was waiting for from behind me. I turned and smiled. "Hey, Dash." Dash trotted next to me. "So, you guys ready to make the awesomest storm ever?" "I sure am." Mira said. "I've never made a storm before." "Well you're in luck, Mira. You'll be learning from the best." Dash said with a prideful smile. "So how long does it usually take to set everything up?" I asked. "Well, we usually get it all ready in about an hour or so, depending on how efficiently we do everything." "A whole hour?" I groaned. "Ah, don't be so lazy. Besides, we'll get paid a little more than last time since the job requires more work." Dash said. "I'm sure we'll be the best storm makers ever!" Mira said. "Darn right we will!" Dash said. "Now let's get over there. It looks like Bright Light is about to start talking." Dash led the way over to the middle area where Bright Light now stood looking around at all the pegasi. "Attention." She yelled, and all surrounding conversation died down. "As you all know, we are scheduled for a storm this evening, and it's going to take everypony here to make that happen on time. If we all work hard and efficiently, we'll get done with this in no time, and you'll all get to go home and enjoy the nasty weather you created. No specific spots for you this time, just make sure you get Ponyville covered. Get with your groups and get to it! If you have any questions, talk to me or your group leader. If not, remember: be here at 9 a.m. sharp for cleanup! Have fun, everypony!" And with that, all the groups split up and went on their way to start the thunderstorm. I turned to Rainbow Dash and Mira. "Well, let's do it." They both nodded and Rainbow Dash led the way while Mira and I followed her through the sky. "So where do we get the clouds?" Mira asked as we flew. "We just find them and bring them to the lake to fill them with water." Dash said. "There's usually some forming by the Everfree Forest." Dash hastened her speed and we did the same. Eventually, we arrived at the edge of the Everfree Forest where, sure enough, there was a large amount of huge fluffy clouds. "Told you." Dash said, and flew over to a mid-sized puff ball. "Just grab them and bring them over to the lake. Try to make sure they don't fall apart." She got behind the cloud and pushed it passed us toward the lake. "Worth a shot." I said to Mira, and flew over to a larger cloud. I started to try to push it, but I could barely move it. I backed away and looked it over. "That doesn't make any sense. Clouds are weightless." I said aloud. I slammed into the cloud in an attempt to move it, but it didn't even budge. I huffed with anger and pushed with all my might to move the one cloud. I was there for a good five minutes before I heard a voice behind me. "Um, Flash." I turned around to see Rainbow Dash with a grin on her face. "There's a tree in that cloud." I looked down at the forest to see a giant tree trunk leading up to the unmovable cloud. Now that just makes a negative amount of sense. Dash brought another cloud over to me. "Here, take this one." I took it from her and pushed it with ease. I must be mentally challenged or something. I laughed nervously. "Uh, thanks." Dash giggled. "Don't worry, I've done that before too." She went to grab another cloud while I made my way to the lake in the distance. I pushed the cloud along, careful not to make it break apart as I went. When I finally arrived at the lake, I nudged it down toward the lake and dipped it in the water until I felt it grow much heavier. "That should be good." I said, and took it up to the sky. I set it in the air next to a couple other clouds that Dash and Mira must have put, and went back on my way to get another cloud. This is going to go painfully slow. I passed Rainbow Dash going really fast on her way to the lake. She waved to me and continued to speed through the sky with the cloud still carefully in her control. I bet I could do that. I flew faster over to the large group of clouds to see Mira starting to push one away to fill it with water. I went over to a larger cloud and took it away, flying as fast as I could without losing it. I flew at a medium speed when I saw Rainbow Dash fly passed me, on her way to get another cloud. I sped up a little, and the next thing I knew, I saw Dash passing me from behind. She already had another cloud and was on her way to the lake. I sped up even more to try to match her speed. I was starting to get more confident with handling the cloud, allowing me to further increase my speed. I finally caught up with Rainbow Dash and when she saw me about to pass her, she sped up even more. Of course, being the competitive person I am, I sped up as well, but much more than Dash had. I looked at her smugly as I passed her with my cloud. She returned the look with an evil glare, and sped up to pass me again. At this point, we were both going pretty fast. Even if we hadn't had the clouds, we would be going faster than what would be comfortable. I passed her again, and was countered with her speeding passed me down to the lake. She quickly dipped her cloud in the water and placed it in the sky. She flew like a bullet toward the other clouds. Oh no you don't. I dashed down to the lake, soaked the cloud, and jammed it into the other clouds faster than I ever thought possible. I zoomed through the sky, my wings flapping furiously as I went along. I managed to catch up to Dash in no time. I flew straight passed her, quickly grabbed a cloud, and came back around just in time to see her still spinning around in circles from my incredible velocity. I flew the cloud to the lake, accelerating more and more as I shoved the cloud along. I looked back to see Dash with a determined look on her face growing closer and closer toward me. I wasn't going to have that. I bolted down to the lake and drenched the large cloud. Just as I was finished, Dash came down and started with hers. I heaved the heavy water absorbed cloud to the sky and grouped it with the rest, just to see Dash doing the same an instant later. I immediately took off toward the few clouds that were left. I sped through the sky at a speed I had never achieved before. I looked over to see Rainbow Dash barely passing me. I flew even faster. She started passing me again. I flew even faster. It was like we were testing each other's speed. She started to pass me for the third time, and I became determined. I was not going to lose this. I flapped my wings harder and faster than I ever had before, and I closed my eyes as I bolted through the sky. I kept speeding up more and more until I thought I couldn't go any faster. With one final flap of my wings, I suddenly shot forward at an impossible speed, and I heard a deafening CRACK! from behind me. I barely opened my eyes and saw nothing but my surroundings flashing by at an insane speed. I flapped my wings forward in an attempt to slow myself, but it just resulted in me uncontrollably tumbling through the air. As my world flew in and out of my vision, I caught a glimpse of some kind of huge red and black...something. My tumbling was starting to subside, and I finally gained control of myself. I hovered upright and shook off my intense dizziness. My eyes widened to the size of bowling balls when I saw what had happened. There was a giant swirling crimson and black ring that grew bigger by the second, and in my path from it was the remaining sparks of some kind of white lightning. I stood there looking at the incredible sight with my jaw wide open for a few moments until I snapped out of the trance. "What? Did I? What?" I asked aloud to myself. Was that a sonic boom? Did I just do a sonic boom? There's no way. I flew back to the clouds as fast as I could, though not nearly as fast as before, and got there just in time to see Dash and Mira with their mouths agape, Dash with a giant smile and Mira with a look of utter amazement. They gawked at the disappearing ring until they noticed I was there and they turned to me. "Um. That happened." I said, not really knowing how to explain what just happened. Dash shook off her astonishment and flew over to me. "That. Was. AWESOME!!!" She said excitedly and clapped her hooves together. "I, uh...It was?" I asked, confused. "Buck yeah! Do you have any idea what you just did?" She asked with way too much excitement. I probably have a good guess. "You just did a sonic rainboom!" She smiled widely. "That was just...So AWESOME!!!" I looked at the remains of the now barely visible anomaly. "I don't know if that would be called a 'rainboom'. It's more like a light boom or something." I said. "Who cares what it's called? It was AWESOME!!!" Rainbow Dash was completely awestruck. I looked to Mira, not really sure of what to do. She pointed to my flank, still with a look of pure amazement. "White Flash. Look!" I looked down to see...a cutie mark. ... ... ... Hell. To. The. Yes. I smiled brightly at the small picture that now adorned my flank. It was two large black lightning bolts conjoined by various strands of red electricity. And it was the greatest thing I had ever seen. Rainbow Dash flew closer to take a good look at it and her jaw dropped. "Now that is what I call an awesome cutie mark." She looked up at me with a look of adoration. "Nice." I smiled with a bit of pride. It's not everyday Rainbow Dash says "Nice" to you after doing something cool. She backed up and and looked around. The sky was almost completely filled with dark rain clouds. "Well, looks like our job is almost done." Dash said. "Just a few more clouds left for us and the others should have the rest covered." "Well, what are we waiting for?" I started to take off to the clouds when Rainbow Dash grabbed my tail with her mouth. "Easy there, we don't need another sonic light boom or whatever you wanna call it." Dash said, then let me go. I sighed and and went ahead leisurely to get the last big cloud. Mira and Dash surrounded it to make sure it didn't spread away, and we all took it to the lake together. After we got it to the lake and filled it with water, we took it up to the last clear spot in the sky and stuck it there next to all the other clouds. We looked around to see the entire sky dark and ready to start a monster of a storm. "We should probably get back before the lightning starts." Dash said. "That's probably a smart idea." Mira said. "I second that." I said, and we all flew back toward the weather building. "Great job, guys." Dash said on our way back. "Especially you, Flash. I'm actually kind of glad I lost that little race we did. I would've missed out on that awesomeness." She smiled back at me. I smiled back. "Well, ya know. I'm just amazing like that." She rolled her eyes and continued to lead the way down to the weather building. We landed next to another small group of ponies who were collecting their pay. Apparently not everypony was back yet. After the group left, we stepped up to Bright Light and she handed all three of us our bits. "Nice work, ponies. Looks like this storm will be a doozy." She said. "By the way, do you guys happen to know what that giant thing in the sky was earlier?" We all looked at each other. "No clue." I said. "Huh. Strange. Well anyways, I would get home soon if I were you. I don't think you want to be caught up in this." "Thanks, Bright Light." Dash said. "Yeah, we'll see you later." I said. "See you later, Bright Light!" Mira chorused. She waved to us as we took flight into the darkened sky. "Well, I'm going to go home." Mira said. "Congrats on the cutie mark, White Flash." "Thanks." I said. "Nice job today, Mira." Dash said. Mira smiled. "You too." She turned the other way and started home. After a few moments, I felt a couple drops of rain on my snout. "We should probably get home too." Dash said. "I was just thinking the same thing." I agreed, and we flew back toward the house to get away from the storm. We flew silently for a few moments until Rainbow Dash couldn't hold it anymore. "I just can't believe you did a sonic boom." She said. "That's hard even for me to do! How did it feel for you? Isn't it just incredible? How did you do it?" I chuckled at her inquiry. "Well, it was pretty awesome. I guess the only reason I did it was because I was trying to beat you." Dash smiled. "Always trying to outdo me." She said. "Never gonna happen, Flashy Boy." I smiled back at her. "That's what you think, Dashie Girl." She looked at me a little strangely and laughed. "Don't call me that. It doesn't work the same way." "Why not? I think it does." I said. "Dashie Girl doesn't have the same ring to it." "Oh come on, it does too." "Not at all." "You just don't know what good nicknames are." "Oh, I do. And that is not one of them." "Would you rather I call you Rainbow Girl?" "...Well if you really can't think of anything better, you should probably stick with Dashie Girl." We shared a laugh but stopped when we realized that it was starting to pour down rain. We quickened our pace and flew faster toward the house. As we flew in the rain, I would fly a little faster than Dash, then she would pass me, then I would pass her again. The competition never stopped with us. We flew side by side, one of us always going faster than the other. I passed Dash, and she flew into me in an attempt to throw me off balance. It slowed me down a bit, and she took the lead again. I decided to learn from her tactics and I bumped into her, succeeding to throw her off balance. I continued flying until I felt her entire body slam into the side of me. I rolled around in the air and regained my stability to see Dash racing ahead. I flew over to her and hit her with my body as well, but she was ready for it, and she immediately countered with a body slam of her own. I fell, but not before managing to bite down on her tail and take her down with me. She wasn't ready for that, and she fell farther than me. Her weight caused me to fall more as well, and before I knew it, we were both tumbling madly through the air. We both started laughing and trying to push each other away, but we kept falling into each other even more. We were still tumbling out of control but that wasn't an issue for us at the moment. We managed to get apart after many playful shoves, but we immediately hit the ground, and we tumbled into each other once more. We rolled across the wet rainy ground several times until we finally came to a halt. We were still laughing before I could even see what was going on. When my dizzy vision finally subsided, I found Rainbow Dash laying on me and looking down at me with possibly the most adorable smile I had ever seen. Her soaking wet mane hung down in strands onto my chest and her large magenta eyes sparkled as she looked at me. We slowly leaned in toward each other and closed our eyes. Our lips were inches from each other when- BOOM! I suddenly felt a weight lifted off of me and I opened my eyes to see Rainbow Dash clinging to an above tree branch, shaking like a tremor. "Scared by a little thunder?" I chuckled. "Sh-Shutup!" She said angrily. I got up off the ground and saw Dash land next to me. "Let's go home for real this time. It's pouring out here." She said. I smiled and we both took off into the air and made our way to the house. When we finally arrived at the front door, Dash walked in and I followed close behind. We were still soaked from the rain, but we didn't really care. We were in a cloud. "So what are we going to do now?" I asked as Rainbow Dash attempted to dry herself off. "Well, I was thinking we could-" BOOM! I was suddenly slammed into by the rainbow colored pegasus. Dash clung onto me like a mother to her child. "Do you not like thunder?" "N-no. Not at all." She said. She started shaking again. Never would have though Rainbow Dash would be afraid of thunder. I put my arm around her and laid my head on hers. "Well don't worry. I gotcha." I said. She looked up at me and smiled thankfully. "I know you do." After a bit, Dash finally let go of me and she kissed me on the cheek. "Well, Flashy Boy, whadd'ya wanna do?" She with a tone of voice that I didn't really recognize. "Well, I don't know." I said. "I figured we could find something to do in the entertainment room. We had fun the last time." She smiled. "Sounds fun." She strutted away and flicked me with her tail as she walked passed. I stood there stunned for a moment, wondering why she did that. I eventually convinced myself that it was nothing and decided to follow her into the game room. "What do you want to do first?" I asked her. "Well, after all that racing, I'm not really in the mood for any games." She walked over to the hot tub. "You wanna just relax?" "Sure." I smiled. She flew a few feet above the hot water and eased herself in, while I dove under the shallow water. I came back to the surface to see Rainbow Dash laughing. "Not wasting any time, huh?" She chuckled. "Nope!" I smiled brightly. She giggled again and scooted close to me. She sat directly in front of me and looked at me. The combination of her drenched mane and her adorable eyes was almost too much to handle. I smiled and leaned in and kissed her on the lips. We held the kiss for a few moments until I felt her tongue press up against my lips. What do I do? What do I do? I had never been in this situation before, let alone with a pony. Needless to say, I was a little nervous. Screw it. Do what your instinct tells you. I opened my lips to allow her tongue entry into my mouth, and I felt the wet muscle slide around inside my mouth. The feeling was incredible. I was so stunned that I forgot what I was doing. I snapped back to reality and realized that Dash's tongue was fighting with my own. I felt her lean closer into me and I did the same. Our tongues wrestled around our mouths until we finally pulled back for air. Dash looked at me with a smile and a large blush on her face. It was so damn cute. I must have had an even redder blush because she giggled and gave me a small peck on the lips. That made me smile even more. Dash turned around and leaned into me, laying her head on my chest. I felt her take a deep breath and relax into me. I was still smiling madly and my blush probably wasn't doing any better. I started to feel a small pressure growing in my lower region and I looked down and realized that Dash was wiggling her butt under the water right on my crotch. "Uh, Dash?" She stopped the movement and looked up at me. "Yeah?" "Um. Nothing." She shrugged and continued to lay against me. Even though she had stopped moving her butt on me, the pressure in my groin continued to grow. I REALLY hope she doesn't notice that. She moved a little and rubbed against my growing loins. "Uh, Flash?" Oh damn. "Yeah?" "Nothing." She smiled slyly and kept relaxing. She just...She just did exactly what I did. Again, clever girl. We sat in the hot tub and enjoyed our time, though I was a little uncomfortable having an awkward boner in the middle of all of it. After a little while, Rainbow Dash yawned and leaned forward to stretch. "I don't know about you..." She climbed out of the tub and shook the water off. "...But I think I'm going to bed. I am exhausted." She said the last few words with a strange look on her face. "You can just come in whenever you're ready." She walked out of the room, putting large emphasis on her hip movements as she made her way out. What was that about? I climbed out of the tub and shook off my drenched coat. I looked out into the hallway toward the bedroom. She can't be tired already. There's something up with her. But what? I walked out into the hallway and started toward the bathroom. I walked in and looked myself over in the mirror. I admired my cutie mark in the bathroom light. It just looked so amazing. Better than I expected it to be. I grinned. I actually have a cutie mark. It was still hard to believe. I looked a little while longer before heading out of the bathroom and back into the hall. I guess I could go to bed too. That sonic boom really tired me out, and we have to be up early tomorrow, so might as well. I pushed open the door to the bedroom and walked in to see Rainbow Dash putting some clothes away in the closet. What clothes could she have possibly gotten out? She turned to me and smiled. "Ready for bed?" "Yep. Gotta get up early tomorrow to clear the storm." I said. "Oh yeah. That'll take forever. With how many clouds we put up, who knows if it will even be done storming by morning." Dash said. "I hope it will." BOOM! There came another loud thunder boom and Dash shot up into the ceiling and hit her head. She fell back down and laid on the floor. I walked over to her and looked down at her. "Stupid thunder." She said hatefully. I smiled and stuck my hoof out to help her up. She smiled back at me and took my hoof and got to her feet. She suddenly wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in for a long kiss. We eventually pulled back and stared at each other for a few moments before going in for another kiss, this one even longer than the last. I again felt her hot wet tongue press against my lips, and I let it enter without hesitation. We continued to have the mouth war when I suddenly felt myself being pushed over onto my back. We laid on the ground, our tongues still connecting us together, with Rainbow Dash standing over me. Our unrelenting tongue battle was still wildly waging in our mouths, until Dash suddenly pulled back and looked down at me with large eyes. "Flash, I want to tell you something." She said with a serious tone. "Go ahead." I said, not really sure what she was doing. "Well, since the day I met you, I thought you are the most perfect stallion I have ever seen. And on top of that, you're really nice and you always make sure everyone is happy and I feel safe with you and..." "Yeah?" "Well...I never thought I'd ever say this to anypony, but...I love you." Those three words would forever change my life. She...She loves me. Me. Lonely, antisocial, imperfect, loser me. How? I'm nothing special. No one's ever loved me before. Not one person. My entire body got weak and I looked up at her smiling face. She doesn't care about my imperfections. She sees the good things in me. The few good things about me. And...she loves me. "I..." I faltered. "I...I love you too, Dash. I love you so much. I love everything about you. Your headstrong attitude, your mane, your coat, your eyes...I wouldn't want any of it any other way." She looked at me with a heavy blush and a look of flattery. I smiled up at her and she leaned her head down and we kissed once more, this one lasting longer than any others ever had before. [CLOP AHEAD] I didn't even notice, but somewhere in the middle of it, Rainbow Dash had pushed her front hooves down on my chest, keeping me on the ground. When we pulled away, I noticed her sitting on my stomach, still with her hooves on me, and looking down at me with her beautiful entrancing eyes. Not sure of what to do, I just kind of smiled up at her. What is she doing? She scooted farther down me until she got to my semi erect member. Oh no. I can't do this. I felt the shaft easily slide across her under region and it popped up in front of her. Is this happening? She looked down at the growing shaft and then to me. She started slowly grinding her drenched nether region on my virgin ball sack. "You know, Flash, you're the only stallion I've ever truly loved. I thought you were good looking from the minute I saw you. And you're personality is just a plus to all that. I never thought I would find anypony as perfect as you, but you proved me wrong. If there was ever anypony that I wanted to stay with forever, it would be you in a wing beat." She looked down at our radiating sexes. "I'm ready to test that if you are." The only thing that came out as a response was a guttural squeak. She smiled. "I've been waiting for this for a while." Good God... What am I thinking? I can't do this! She's a pony! I can't... I looked down at my body. These were my hooves and my snout and my pony body. I am a pony. There's nothing wrong with it. Just like Spark said. Oh Jesus, now I'm starting to listen to Spark. I looked up at the rainbow mare that sat on top of me, her lust filled face waiting for me. Come on, you know you want to. Just do it. She lifted herself up and revealed her glistening marehood directly above my rock hard member. My God. My eyes widened and she slowly eased herself onto me. Dash let out a small moan as the head slipped inside of her. The sensation was indescribable. Her marehood was like a vice grip that wanted nothing more than to choke the life out of my dick. She slowly lowered herself farther down my shaft, and now it was my turn to moan. She got half way down until she had to stop for a few seconds to get passed the inevitable pain that came with every female's first experience. She flinched, but quickly got over it. She looked down at me. "I hope you're ready, Flashy Boy." Oh my god. She brought herself up a few inches, then slammed down onto my member as hard as she could. The result was the two of us letting out a large gasp. I was now completely inside of her, and the tightness was unrelenting. She leaned forward with her hooves trapping me to the ground. I was at her mercy. I sat there a moment, admiring her slender athletic body as it sat completely on my member. Before I could even say anything, Dash slowly lifted herself off of me a few inches, then slammed back down on me, causing both of us to moan loudly. She slid up my shaft a little faster and a little more this time, then slammed back down with the same tremendous force. She eventually found a steady rhythm and started bouncing on my cock, faster and faster each time she slid down. With every bounce, I found myself gasping at the incredible feeling. I already felt like blowing my load, but I never wanted the moment to end. Her tight marehood constantly milked my dick over and over, bringing it ever so closer to releasing its seed inside of the beautiful mare. By this point, she was steadily pumping up and down my cock at rapid speed, getting faster yet. No words were exchanged, but we both moaned equally loud as we exchanged our love. Dash was now going full speed up and down, up and down, up and down. She let out one final high pitched moan before she collapsed on my chest, and I felt my cock become flooded with her juices. The intense grip that her marehood had me in at the moment caused me to instinctively start thrusting into her limp body. I still felt the dead weight of her as she looked up at me with a lust filled smile while I continued to thrust my throbbing cock into her. I couldn't take the pleasure any longer. With one final powerful thrust, I slammed my hips into Dash, causing her to suddenly gasp and moan even louder than before. Her tight marehood clenched down on me harder than it ever had, and I felt myself shoot out ropes of my seed into the slender body of my mate. She let out a low growl as I continued to fill her with my little soldiers until the wonderful experience finally had to end. We sat there for a few moments, catching our breath and looking into each other's eyes. Dash was still laying her head on my chest, giving me an exhausted smile. I smiled back and put my arms around her. "Rainbow Dash, I love you." I said when I finally had control over my erratic thoughts. "I love you too, Flash." BOOM! I was surprised to see Dash still on top of me and unmoved. "Doesn't the thunder scare you?" I asked. She smiled up at me. "Not anymore. I don't need to be scared when I have you here with me." Dash said, and our lips met once more for the most love filled kiss of the night. > 24. I Get Stuck by Myself > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke the next morning, feeling a great weight on my chest and stomach. I slowly opened my eyes and blinked the sleepiness out to see the cyan mare peacefully asleep, still laying on top of me. I smiled at her innocent face as she slept. It was unbelievably adorable. I looked around and realized that we were also still laying on the floor. Well I guess that explains why I don't remember going to bed last night. Last night. The greatest night of my life. So glad I listened to Spark on that one. I can't believe I ever doubted it. I mean, it's a totally normal function for every mammal. It's not any different now that I'm the same species. Totally normal. My heart suddenly dropped into my stomach when I realized what this meant. I probably just made Rainbow Dash pregnant. Pregnant. I'm going to be a father. How am I supposed to raise a foal? I could barely keep a hamster without it dying when I was human. How will this work out? I looked back down to Rainbow Dash. Feeling her soft, warm breaths radiate onto my chest made me smile. It doesn't matter. I won't worry about it yet. I still have this life to take care of, and I won't let a new responsibility keep me from enjoying it. I stretched and felt Dash stir on top of me. I looked down to see her eyelids slowly flutter open to reveal her large magenta eyes. "Morning, Sunshine." I said to her. She smiled and gave me a quick kiss. "Morning, Flash." She put her hooves on the ground around me and stood over me, stretching for an unnecessarily long amount of time. "You okay there?" I asked as she started to stretch out her wings. "Yeah, you're just not the comfiest pillow in the world." She said. "And what's that supposed to mean?" "It means that sleeping in a cloud bed would've been WAY better than laying on you all night." She said. "Well, you could have gone into the bed, you know. I wouldn't have cared." "Nah." She said. "I was too lazy to move. And I felt a lot safer in your arms than I would have under the covers." She really knew how to make me feel good about myself. "And besides." She leaned down until she was a couple inches from my face. "You poking my belly was a pleasant surprise to wake up to." I was confused at first, until I looked down and saw that I had the largest case of morning wood of my entire life. I looked up at her and laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that." She kissed me one last time and started walking away toward the door. She flicked me with her tail again, a smile forming across her face as she walked out of the bedroom and into the hall. I smiled as well and slowly got to my feet and yawned. I stretched out my wings and popped my back. The ground isn't exactly the most comfortable place to sleep, even in a cloud house. I could only imagine how uncomfortable Dash was. I walked out of the bedroom with a smile and a bit of a pep in my step. I didn't know why, but it seemed like today was going to be a good day. Of course, any day in Equestria was good, but this one seemed different, like it was going to be even better than the others. I continued walking down the hall with the same mood and arrived in the living room to see Dash standing in the kitchen eating an apple. "Got any more of those?" I asked. She responded by reaching into the cabinet and tossing a red, juicy apple to me. I caught it and took a large bite of the fruit. "So what's on the agenda today?" Dash asked me. "Well, I was planning on going into town and getting some stuff, then go visit Spark and Blaze and see how they're doing." I said. "Unless you wanna do something?" I asked hopefully. She finished her apple and chuckled. "Sorry, big guy, but I made plans too." She walked over to me. "Although, later tonight we could maybe have a repeat of last night." She put her hoof under my chin and looked me straight in the eye. "If you want to." The combination of her seductive voice and large alluring eyes was irresistible. "Count me in." I smiled. She smiled back and leaned in for a kiss. Our lips found each other as if it was instinct by now, and we held the kiss for a few long moments. Dash was the first one to snap back to reality and pull away. "Until then, we should probably get to the weather building to clear the sky." She said. "Good idea." I said, taking another bite of my apple. "What time is it anyway?" Dash looked over her shoulder at the clock. Her eyes suddenly widened. "We have two minutes to get there!" "WHAT???" I spit out the piece of apple in my mouth and we both sped out the door into the gray sky. "How did we sleep so late?" I asked as we soared through Ponyville to the weather building. "I don't know!" Dash said. "But it doesn't matter. As long as we get there in time, we'll be alright!" I looked at her the entire time she spoke, and when I looked in front of me, I saw two pegasi holding a large glass pane. "Look out!" I yelled, and smashed completely through the glass, shattering it to bits. I stopped a few feet away and looked at the two ponies as the shattered glass sprinkled down to the town below. "Are you kidding me? What are the odds? How cliche can you get? How-" "Flash, come on!" I was jerked away when Rainbow Dash suddenly grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me through the sky. She let go of me and we continued on our way to the weather building. "We're going to be so late!" Dash said as she increased her speed through the cloudy sky. I followed close behind. "No we won't. We're almost there, see?" I pointed to the weather building in the distance. We sped up even more as we raced to be on time. As we grew closer and closer to the building, I started slowing down, while Rainbow Dash never once decelerated. "Dash? You might want to-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before I witnessed her painfully crash land in the courtyard. "Slow down..." I quickly landed and galloped over to Dash, who was laying in a bush with concerned pegasi surrounding her. I pushed through the ponies and looked down at Dash. She was laying upside down on the bush, looking up at me with dazed eyes. "Whoops." Was all she had to say. I sighed. "Are you alright?" "Yeah." She turned over and fell to the ground with a small thud. "No." She looked back and attempted to move her left wing with no success. "I think I sprained my wing." "Oh man. Does it hurt?" I asked. "I sprained it, of course it hurts, egghead." Dash snapped, and got to her feet. She tried once more to move her wing, but cringed in pain. "Agh. I don't think I'll be able to fly." She looked at me. "Do you think you and Mira will be able to handle clearing the sky on your own?" "Uh, yeah. No problem." I said. Crap! Now I'll have to deal with Mira the whole time! Bright Light walked over to us and looked at Dash. She just shook her head. "Rainbow Dash, what could you have possibly done this time?" "I, uh, forgot to slow down before I landed." She said with a nervous laugh. Bright Light sighed and looked to me. "Well, looks like you got a lot of work ahead of you. Now both of your partners are out for the day. Rainbow Dash is hurt and Mira never showed up. You'll have to clear your part of the sky on your own. My jaw dropped. That's even worse than dealing with Mira! "Can't he join another weather team for the day or something?" Dash asked. "That sounds like a little bit too much for one pony. "Sorry." Bright Light said. "I really wish you could, but regulations restrict you from doing that. You can, however, ask other teams for help. That's the most I can do for you. You'll be able to handle it, right?" "Easy." I said a little sarcastically. Bright Light looked at me with a concerned expression, then walked to the middle of the courtyard. "Attention, everypony! It's time to start clearing the sky again. Again, I don't care what you clean up as long as the job gets done. However, White Flash's weather team is either currently not here or-" She glared at Dash. "-unfit for duty. If anypony is willing to help him, it would be greatly appreciated. Alright, ponies. Get to it!" Immediately, the groups of pegasi all took off into the sky to start clearing it, but none stayed to help me. "Great." I said. "Just wonderful." Rainbow Dash walked up to me and put her hoof on my shoulder. "Ah, come on. It won't be that bad. I'll walk below you and keep you company if you want." "Oh, actually, Rainbow Dash." We turned to see Bright Light walking up to us. "Since you can't clear the sky, I've been needing help filing some paperwork. Care to join?" Of course. Why not ruin my day some more? "But, I was going to-" Dash started. "I'll pay you for it." Was all Bright Light had to say to convince her. Dash turned to me and mouthed the word 'sorry'. I returned with a disapproving frown. She walked over to Bright Light. "Where do we start?" Bright Light smiled. "I knew you'd want to help." She turned to me. "Sorry again about your situation." "Yeah." I said. "Thanks." Dash and Bright Light started walking into the weather building, leaving me alone in the courtyard. Well, better get started I guess. I sighed. And this day was going so well, too. > 25. Spark and Blaze Go Job Hunting > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Holy...fucking...shit..." Spark fell to his knees, his jaw agape as he looked at the remaining wreckage of what use to be his poorly built home. "There's no fucking way a stupid thunderstorm could have done this shit. No way." During the middle of the night, the two ponies had heard their already crumbling house start to finally fall apart under the thunderstorm. They got out in time and found shelter under a tree to stay the night at. Unfortunately for Blaze, the tree was only big enough to cover one of them, and Spark wasn't about to give up sleeping space. They came back in the morning to see the house completely demolished under the harsh forces of nature. Blaze came up behind Spark and put a hoof on his shoulder, his eyes glued to the remains of the house as well. "Well, I mean...it wasn't the best architectural masterpiece anyway." He said in an attempt to console Spark. "Oh no, it was a piece of shit, but still..." Spark looked up at Blaze with large, sad eyes, "It was my piece of shit." Blaze just continued to pat Spark on the shoulder until he eventually had enough of the sight and got to his feet, his gaze turning to Blaze. "Well, what the fuck do we do now?" He asked, throwing his hooves in the air. "We just lost our goddamn home. Back to square fucking one." He looked down to the ground in sadness. "I don't suppose you can con another guy to give us supplies to make another one?" Blaze asked. "Not a chance. That guy was a special kind of utter retard." Spark said. "And I don't think Ponyville would have a Home Depot anywhere for us to actually buy the supplies." Blaze put a hoof to his chin and thought for a bit, trying to find an easy solution to their problem. He knew what they had to do, but he also knew Spark wouldn't want any of it. He decided to ease into the idea slowly. "Well...I guess we'll have to...buy a new one." He suggested gingerly. "With what money?" Spark asked with a disdainful look. Blaze looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, as if to silently suggest something. Spark responded with confusion plastered across his face. The two continued to exchange different facial expressions until Spark finally understood what he was getting at. "Oh, no." Spark started with a look of objection. "Yeah..." Blaze said. "It looks like we'll have to-" "I don't care how tempting I am, I'm in a relationship, and I am NOT becoming a prostitute!" "What?" "What?" There was a short pause of silence. "Forget I said anything. What were you saying?" Spark quickly said as a cover up. "Uh, I was gonna say we need to get jobs." Blaze said a little awkwardly. "Well shit, that's even worse than selling my body!" Spark said. "Well, we're going to have to if...wait, why just you? Why wouldn't I be able to help?" Blaze asked. "Easy," Spark said. "You're not smexy like I am. You would be left on the street side still sucking on a cigarette while I'd be off getting all the business." "That's not true!" Blaze defended. "I would at least get something." "Nah. You wouldn't get shit." "I would too!" "Maybe if the mare was Snowdrop." "Was that a blind joke?" "You bet your ass it was." "You have such a big head." "And that's what they'd all be saying about me." Spark said smugly. Blaze had to snicker at that. "Alright, that was a good one. But seriously though, Spark, we'll have to get jobs if we ever want to even think about getting a new house." "Ugh, fuck!" Spark said in protest, jerking his head into the air. "I don't want to work! It's hard!" "Ah, c'mon. It won't be that bad. Working will give us character!" Blaze said. "I don't need character. I need a fucking house." "And we'll get that too!" Blaze said with a smile. Spark just huffed in frustration. Blaze wrapped his arm around Spark's neck, with his other hoof in the air. "Just think about it: No one ever got anywhere in life without a little work. You think someone like Justin Bieber just got handed his mediocre success?" "Yes." Spark said bluntly. "Well...that may not be the best example, but you know what I mean. If we want to be successful in life, we have to work for it." "Why do I feel like you're about to sing a song about good morals or some shit?" Spark asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't want good morals, I just want a fucking house. "I'm not gonna sing, I'm just saying that we'll have to work if we want to live anywhere other than an old tree." Blaze said. "Well, you sound like a bitchy mother right now." Spark said. Blaze sighed when he realized there was no use in making a speech to convince Spark. "Look, would you rather live under that tree forever, or-?" "I JUST WANT A FUCKING HOUSE!!!" Spark yelled at Blaze, causing him to let go of his neck and jump back. Blaze backed up as he could see visible steam coming from Spark's nostrils. Blaze smirked. "Then it looks like we're going job hunting!" "What kind of jackass in their right minds would hire two assholes like us?" Spark asked as they walked through Ponyville in search of any hiring establishment. "I have no idea." Blaze said, looking around. "It doesn't even look like any place is hiring though." "I hope to God there isn't" Spark said. "I sure hope there is. I don't want to live under a tree for the rest of my life." Blaze said. "You won't live under a tree for the rest of your life." Spark said. "I will. You'll just live next to that tree for the rest of your life." Blaze could only sigh. "I wonder about you sometimes." "I wonder about you too." Spark said. "Then I realize that you're just an idiotic piece of shit and I move on with my life." "Well that's uplifting." Blaze said. They continued walking until Blaze finally spied what they came into town to find. "Spark, look!" Blaze said excitedly, pointing to a window of a pawn shop. There was a poster that read, Now Hiring. "Hoo-fucking-ray." Spark said unenthusiastically. "Come on, let's go in!" Blaze said, and happily trotted into the old shop, slowly followed by a less upbeat Spark. Blaze opened the door and was greeted with the *DING* of a bell. "Good afternoon!" An old gray stallion smiled at them from behind a counter. "Good afternoon!" Blaze smiled back. "What can I do for you boys?" The stallion asked. "Actually, it's more like what can we do for you?" Blaze said. Good lord, please kill me now. Spark thought. "Oh, are you two here for the job interviews?" The old earth pony asked. "We sure are!" Blaze said with another large smile. "Well well, you two seem like you would be nice workers." The stallion said. "If you're up for an interview now, I'd be happy to oblige." "Sounds great!" Blaze said. "Sounds shitty." Spark said under his breath. "Great. Now, who wants to be interviewed first, mister, ah..." "Blaze." Blaze said. "And this is my friend, Spark." Spark replied with a mocking salute. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Blaze and Spark. I'm Grayhoof. Which one of you wants to go first?" "I think-" "Actually, we'd prefer to be interviewed together." Spark said with a devious smile. Blaze looked at him with a stern look, as if to tell him not to screw up the situation. That only encouraged him further. "Oh, really?" Grayhoof asked. "No, he's-" Spark put a hoof to Blaze's mouth to silence him. "Why yes, yes we would." Spark looked back at Blaze with another evil smile, while Blaze's face had objection written all over it. "Well then, follow me to my office." Grayhoof started toward a back room, temporarily leaving Blaze and Spark alone. "Spark, what are you trying to do?" Blaze demanded. Spark shrugged. "I'm here to fuck shit up." Blaze sighed. "Please don't. This is probably one of the only chances we'll get for a job." "And if you play your cards right, you'll get a job." Blaze started to object but stopped when he heard Grayhoof's voice in the other room. "Boys? Are you coming?" Blaze gave Spark another glare and made his way over to the office, Spark following close behind. They walked passed all the old pawn shop merchandise and into the small office and Grayhoof closed the door. He walked over to a large wooden desk and sat down in a chair. "Have a seat you two." He said, and they both sat on chairs facing Grayhoof, Blaze sitting straight up, while Spark slouched down nonchalantly. "Alright, we'll start off with the basics." Grayhoof said, folding his hooves on the desk. "Tell me about yourselves. How are you around other ponies, what have you done before this, things like that." "Well," Blaze spoke. "I was born in Fillydelphia, I'm an only child, I moved here about a week ago, I-" "Not that personal, son." Grayhoof said. "Let's make it simpler. Just tell me how you are with other ponies and past job experiences." "Oh, well, I'm pretty good with other ponies. I'm really friendly and I can make conversation with anypony. I haven't had a job before, but I do know what it takes to please the customer and be a successful businessman." Blaze said. Grayhoof wrote down something on a piece of paper. "Sounds good so far. What about you, Mr. Spark?" Spark looked up, still slouching down in his chair. "I fuck bitches. Lots of bitches. Sometimes I get paid for it, sometimes I don't. It's really a complicated line of work, you see." Spark sat up in his chair. "You never know if the girl has some kinda disease like herpes or some shit, and you never know if the girl is like a transvestite or some kinda weird shit like that. It's like a box of chocolates, you just take what you get and hope for the best. I like to think of it, not in a 'Hey, I'm having sex with random women for a living, what the fuck am I doing with my life?' kinda way, but more of a philosophical way. You see, fucking bitches for money isn't just a hobby, it's a way of life for many. Some people choose to do normal things, like boring ass politics, and I choose to do different things, such as fuck bitches and get money. It's a different point of view, I know, but what fun is life without a little variation, huh? I don't like to fall into the crowds of mainstream society, because being different is a way of expressing myself. So really, fucking bitches for money is a way for me to say, 'Hey, I don't care what you want me to do, I'm doing what I want to do, and you can't stop me!', which is really an important lesson to teach the youth of this generation. Being different is okay. In fact, it's better than okay, it's fucking brilliant! Fucking bitches and getting money needs to be encouraged throughout our society and brought into our culture. I could go on for hours, but before I go out on too much of a tangent here, I must conclude. I fuck bitches. I get money. That's what I do. And I have no reason to not be proud of it. It makes me who I am." Spark sat back with a smug look while Blaze looked at him with his jaw agape in pure horror. "Um...Okay then..." Grayhoof said in surprise, and started writing something down on the paper. "Oh, I also fucking hate other people." Spark said as a final blow to his statement of philosophical prostitution. Blaze still could not believe what he was hearing. He knew it was over. "Well..." Grayhoof cleared his throat. "I, ah, I can see potential in you both. Very much potential, but-" PPPFFFTFFTPPPTTTPPPPFFFFPPPTTTFFFPPPPTTTPPFFTPPTFPTFFTPPPPFFFTTTTFTTTT! There was a very long and drawn out pooting sound as Spark shifted around in his seat with an enormous smile, trying to suppress his chuckling. "Did you-" PPFFTPTPT! There was a few seconds of silence. "Was...was that a fart?" Grayhoof asked. Blaze looked at Spark frantically. "Okay, I'll be honest with you, I did fart." Spark said with an insane smile. "Is that alcohol? Alcohol and...alcohol and cupcakes." Grayhoof said, disgusted. "Why yes my good sir, that would be what I most recently ingested." Spark said. Blaze was still sitting on the side watching the events in utter horror. "I, uh...I don't think this job is for you boys..." "Spark! What was that?!" Blaze demanded after they had walked out of Grayhoof's office and out of the pawn shop, where they stood to talk. "Did you not hear it? It was a long ass fart." Spark said, still with a smile on his face. Blaze sighed. "That was the worst thing you could have done! What made you think that was a good idea?" Blaze asked. Spark shrugged. "Thought he'd get the reference." " 'Step Brothers' doesn't exist in Equestria you idiot!" Blaze yelled. "Well there's your problem. I guess you learn something new everyday, huh?" Spark said. Blaze looked down and shook his head. "Darn it, Spark." "Hey, I did you a fucking favor." Spark said sternly, poking Blaze's shoulder, and causing him to look up. "You would be just as suicidal doing that fucking job as I would." Blaze started to object, until he realized just how right Spark was. He would've hated it. "You know I'm fucking right. Haven't you ever seen 'Hardcore Pawn'? We'd be just like Seth and Ashley, constantly bickering over the most pointless shit, then the old guy would yell at us to grow up, then one of us would stand up to him, then there'd be a close up of his flabbergasted face. Basically that show in a nutshell by the way. Anyway, what I'm saying is that we would not enjoy living a bad overrated TV show in real life." Spark said matter-of-factly. Blaze took a minute to process that all. "Well...I guess you're right." "I'm always right, bitch." Spark said with a cocky smile. Blaze sighed and shook his head with a smile on his face. "I don't think I'll ever understand you." Spark put his hoof on Blaze's shoulder. "I don't even understand me. Honestly, I have no idea how I came up with the whole 'fucking bitches' speech." Blaze snickered. "That was actually pretty funny. I never thought prostitution could be turned into something so in depth." "Hey, nothing's impossible for your boy Spark." Spark said. He walked out into the street. "Well, I'd say we've done enough job shit. Let's get back to Ye Old Shit Hole and see if I can't try to put it back together for at least another night." He started walking down the street and Blaze trotted close behind him. "So what if we can't get the house rebuilt?" Blaze asked as he caught up with Spark. "I'm not gonna rebuild the whole fucking thing, just use the parts to make an even shittier house." Spark explained as they continued to walk. "Well if that doesn't work, either we'll have to find a job we like, or work one that we don't" Blaze said. "We'll cross that bridge when it comes." Spark said. "Right now we're gonna use my badass magical horn to build us a house." Blaze chuckled. "I'm gonna go build a house." He imitated in a low, gruff voice. "What the hell was that?" Spark stopped walking to look at Blaze. "It was Jack Pattillo from Achievement Hunter." Blaze said. Spark replied with a blank stare. "Haven't you ever watched Achievement Hunter? Or any of their Minecraft Let's Plays?" He asked, genuinely surprised Spark didn't know what he was talking about. "I have no fucking clue what the hell that shit is." Spark said. "But Minecraft is gay." "What?! Minecraft is awesome!" Blaze defended. "It's so fucking stupid. You place blocks. That's so fucking fun." Spark said. "And the graphics are awful. I don't know how anyone can stand playing a game like that." Blaze started to argue, then stopped. "You're one of those people, aren't you?" Spark smirked. "Damn right I am." Blaze shook his head once more and continued to walk along the street with Spark following not far behind. It was complete silence other than the clip-clop of their hooves clicking against the pavement for a few moments, until Spark grabbed Blaze and pointed to the sky. "Look, son! It's a faggot!" Spark said as he pointed up to a white pegasus kicking the remaining few storm clouds in the sky. Spark let go of Blaze and yelled up to him. "HEY ASSHOLE!" Kick. Fly. Repeat. Kick. Fly. Repeat. Over the last hour, that became the pattern that was permanently burned into my brain. Clearing the sky by myself had to have been the single most boring thing I have ever done. I was relieved when there were only a few more clouds left to clear. I could finally get out of there and go do something worth my time. I flew over to one of the last clouds, reared up, and- "HEY ASSHOLE!" My heart rate skyrocketed and I jumped back in surprise. That caught me off guard. I looked down to see a brightly smiling Spark accompanied by an annoyed Blaze. "What are you two doing?" I yelled down to them. "Getting laid!" Spark said jokingly. "What the fuck are you doing?" "Doing my job! Maybe you two should get one?" I yelled back. Spark chuckled. "We tried! Now get your ass down here!" "Hold your horses!" I yelled. "You should kill yourself for that joke! I'm not even kidding!" Spark yelled. I smiled and rushed over to the remaining clouds and quickly got rid of them. The sky was finally clear. Thank God! I flew down to my two friends and landed next to Spark. "So, what's up?" I asked as I folded my wings. "Ah, not much. Woke up this morning to find my house in ruins, but other than that, not much at all." Spark said. "Oh...uh...that sucks." Was all I had to say. It was probably because of the storm that I helped make. Whoopsies. "Yeah." Blaze said. "We were trying to get a job to buy a new one, but they didn't want to hire us." He looked over at Spark. "Can't imagine why." "I can't either." Spark said with all seriousness. "Well, uh...if you guys need some money, I'd be happy to help you out." I said. "No way! Are you shitting me? Can you really do that?" Spark asked. "Sure." I said. "After I get paid today, I should have about 700 bits saved up. You guys can have it. I don't have anything to spend it on. Besides, I need to pay you guys back for helping me with Rainbow Dash." "Aw, fuckin' sweet!" Spark pumped his hooves into the air. He looked over to Blaze. "Hear that, bitch? We don't have to work like normal people!" Blaze chuckled. "I seriously doubt there's a house for only 700 bits." "Don't underestimate me." Spark said. "I'm an expert haggler. I can get that shit down." I smiled. "Well, I have to go get my pay first." "Well what are you doing here talking to two shitheads? Go get paid motherfucker!" Spark shoved me along and I flew into the air and hovered a few feet above the ground. "So, where do you want me to-" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the motherfucking phone." Spark said. He walked over to me and pointed at my thigh to my newly created cutie mark. "What the fucking shit hell fucker is this?" Blaze walked over to see what Spark was talking about, and his jaw dropped when he saw my cutie mark. "It's a butt tattoo." I said. "Is that seriously a legitimate cutie mark?" Blaze asked. "It sure is." I said. "I did a sonic rainboom. Except without the rainbow part." "Oh dude, that was you? I was wondering what that weird fucking thing in the sky was yesterday." Spark said. "Thought it was aliens or some shit." I snickered. "Yeah, that was me." I looked down to my cutie mark and admired it along with them. "Isn't it awesome?" "Dude, that is the most fucking badass cutie mark I've ever seen." Spark looked up to me. "There's something wrong with that sentence." "I can't believe you got your cutie mark." Blaze said. "Nice going." "Thanks" I said. "Now, where do you want me to meet you guys after I get the money?" "Just go to where our house used to be." Blaze said. "Alright." I said. "See you two in a bit." "Later, faggot." Spark said. "Enjoy your butt tattoo." "I will." I smiled, and flew away toward the weather building. I can't believe I'm finally done with the sky. It felt like forever. I'm so never going to let Dash live this down. I looked back at the two idiots that I called friends. From what it sounds like, they had a better day than my boring day of work. Even if their house got destroyed. I wonder how they tried to get a job. I chuckled at the thought. Must have been interesting. > 26. The Sour Rainbow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As I soared above Ponyville, I noticed that the sky was almost completely clear, aside from a couple stray clouds that were being taken care of by a group of pegasi. It must have really taken me a while to clear my part of the sky if almost everypony is done. I continued on my way to the weather building, hoping that Bright Light was still there after all this time. I doubt she would've left after a couple hours, but still I arrived at the weather building and made my way down to the court yard. I slowly landed in the grass and started trotting toward the building. Well, I hope Dash had as much fun doing whatever Bright Light had her do as I did clearing the sky with no help. I thought to myself. I smiled when I remembered her crash landing into that bush. It might have left me alone to clear the sky, but it was almost worth it to see her face when she was laying there. I opened the door to see Bright Light sitting at the welcoming desk writing something down on a piece of paper. I walked up to the desk and after a few moments, she filed the paper away and looked up to me. "Finally got that sky cleared?" She chuckled as she got another paper from a small pile and set it on the desk. "Yeah." I said. "Took a while, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle." "That's what I like to hear." She said. She got up from behind the desk and motioned for me to follow her. As she led the way, I asked, "So what has Rainbow Dash been doing this whole time?" She smiled and walked over to a door that said 'Bright Light' and opened it. Inside the small office, I saw Dash sitting cross legged on the ground sorting through a giant stack of paper with a look of absolute and utter boredom on her face. She looked up from the paper she was reading and her face instantly lit up like a Christmas tree. "Finally, you're back!" She quickly threw the paper down and cracked her back. "Am I done, Bright Light?" Bright Light chuckled. "For today." "Thank Celestia." Dash hopped up from the floor and blew her bangs out of her eyes. "How was clearing the sky?" She asked me. "Not fun." I said simply. "I bet you I had a lot less fun than you." She huffed. "Bright Light, remind me to never ask you for something to do if I'm ever bored." Bright Light chuckled. "Sure thing. Just as long as you don't go around spraining your wing again." Dash sighed and walked over to me. "Meet me outside when you're done doing whatever." She said, and walked out of the office. "She seems to be in a good mood." I said with sarcasm. "I don't blame her." Bright Light said. "I hate doing paperwork too." She walked over to a small desk and opened a drawer. A moment later she brought out a handful of bits and gave them to me. "There you go, yours and Rainbow Dash's pay. She stomped out of here so quick she forgot the whole reason she sat there for two hours." I laughed. "She gets like that sometimes." "No doubt about that." She walked over to the pile of papers and started straightening the stack. "Good job today. The next weather job won't be for another week, so I'll see you then." "Alright." I said. "Have a good rest of the day." "You too, White Flash." She picked up the papers and sat them on the desk while I made my way out of the office and toward the front door of the building. As I was about to open the door, it flew open and Rainbow Dash stood in front of me with a look of annoyance on her face. "I forgot to get my money." She explained. I handed her the pile of bits before she could walk off. "Here. Bright Light saw that you left before getting it." Rainbow Dash took the bits and smiled. "Thanks. I'm actually surprised she didn't just keep them and make me do all that work for nothing." "What exactly did she make you do?" I asked as I walked passed Dash into town. "Ugh, don't get me started with it." She said as she picked up the trail behind me. "I had to file all of her paperwork and nothing else. Just paperwork that whole time. It was so boooorrrrrriiiiiinnnng." She dragged on in a slightly whining tone. I snickered. "Well, I mean, it is your fault for plummeting out of the sky." I said, looking back at her. She rolled her eyes. "Shutup." She said, lightly punching me in the shoulder as she caught up to me. "It's your fault for taking so long with the sky." "How is that my fault?" I asked. "Because I said so." She said with a confident smirk, as if that won her the argument. "I guess there's no use in even trying." "Nope." She smirked, although the triumphant look quickly developed into a grimace of pain as she attempted moving her hurt wing. I noticed that it was bent slightly and a few of her cyan feathers were sticking out of place like a row of broken piano keys. "Does it really hurt that bad?" I asked. "Yeah, I really must have hit the ground hard." She said, attempting to move her wing once more."Luckily that bush was there or I might have more than just a sprained wing." "No doubt about that." I said. I noticed that she started trying to move her wing even more with the same painful result every time. "Should we go get it checked out?" I asked. "No, I'll be fine." She flinched as pain shot up her back and she stopped moving it. "I think." "Are you sure?" I asked her with a look of worry adorning my face. "Yeah, I'll just get some ice for it when I meet up with Applejack." I continued to look at her with concern. "I'll be fine. I promise." "Well...Okay then." I said reluctantly. I really didn't want her to be in pain all day, but I should have known she'd be much too stubborn to treat it properly. "Just be careful, okay? Don't try flying with it." Throughout the entire conversation, we had slowed our walking pace and we finally came to a halt in the middle of the street. "What are you, my mom?" Rainbow Dash teased. She smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheek. "I'll be fine. Besides, I have all day for it to get better. It'll be in good shape in no time." "Alright. As long as you think so." I said. "Don't worry about me. Go off and do whatever for the rest of the day." She stepped in close to me and put her hoof on my chest. "Then later, would you wanna go home and have a little fun?" She looked up at me with an adorable smile that almost made me feel guilty. Almost. "Well, I sure can't pass up an offer like that." I said, returning the smile. Another night like last night? Don't mind if I do. Dash giggled. "Well, until then," She turned away and flicked her tail up with a quick motion as she started walking away, giving me a brief view of her perfectly rounded butt. "Later, Flashy Boy." She continued to strut away as I stood there with a stupid grin on my face and a mind filled with frazzled thoughts. My God, I love my life. > 27. Let's Buy a House! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sounds like someone's getting laid tonight." I was taken from my trance when I was suddenly caught off guard by a familiar, mocking voice. I turned around to see none other than Spark. Of course. "I thought you weren't into that kind of shit." Spark said with a smug look. "Well, I think I'm willing to change that for her." I said. "Stop, you're drowning me in the sappiness." He said sarcastically. He walked over to me and put a hoof on my shoulder. "Don't sweat it, dude, I'm sure you'll be fine." He said, expecting me to be worried about tonight. "Actually..." I started, "We kind of already..." I didn't even have to finish my sentence for a response. "Hoho, holy shit dude!" He chuckled. "I didn't know you had it in you!" He stopped and pretended to wipe away imaginary tears. "I'm so proud of my little Flashy." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, it happened. And it helped me fully come to terms that I am indeed a horse." Spark started laughing. "And all it took was for you to get laid. Fucking nice, dude." He continued laughing when he suddenly stopped. "Oh dude, I just realized that you're like Jesus to the mlp board on 4chan now. You came inside Rainbow Dash." He joked. I chuckled nervously. Only Spark could say it in a way that would make me feel weird. "True. Too bad there's no internet here to tell them all." "I think 4chan is something we can live without." Spark said as he started walking, motioning for me to follow. I trotted up next to him and we continued our conversation. "Do you have the money you promised?" Spark asked me, as if we were dealing something illegal. "Oh, yeah." I said. I gave him the remaining bits I had and he took them with pleasure. "Thanks, dude. Seriously, you're one awesome motherfucker." I smiled. "Yeah, yeah. Just try not to get your house burned down by the end of the week." "I'll try my best, but no promises." He said with a grin. As we walked through town with nothing but the sound of the rhythmic clip-clop of our hooves on the paved street to keep us company, my mind started to wander. We continued walking in silence until I spoke up. "You know, we're in paradise right now." I said as we walked. "No doubt about that, bro." Spark agreed. "What about it?" "Well, I mean, I'm definitely loving it here and everything, but it feels like we could do so much more." "Like?" "Well... we're in Equestria! We could be having, like, awesome adventures and stuff with our favorite fictional characters. We're living a reality of colorful ponies, Spark. But instead, we've only lazed around Ponyville and done almost nothing since we got here." "Well, you hooked up with a horse." Spark said matter-of-factly. "I'd say that's doing something." I sighed. "No, I mean doing something worth while and fun. You and Blaze and the mane six are literally the only friends I've ever had, and I just think that we could all do something awesome together." "Interesting concept," Spark started, "but I don't think Blaze and I have even met all of them yet." "Seriously?" I asked. "What the hell have you guys been doing the past week if you haven't at least met some of them?" "Getting drunk off our asses and being jackasses." Spark provided a plain answer. "Of course." I sighed. "Well then, how about we get you guys acquainted?" "Sounds like a cluster fuck of fun," Spark said, "But before we do that, I want to get my fucking house and shit together first." "Sure." I said. "But you're at least gonna meet Rainbow Dash today. I already told her all about you two." "Oh boy, do I feel famous." He said sarcastically. We continued walking down the path through Ponyville until we came up on the wrecked remains of Spark's and Blaze's house. I was not expecting it to be as bad as it was, but it looked like a tornado ripped through the whole thing, then left immediately after. I slowly walked up to it in disbelief. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." Blaze said as he came up behind me. I didn't even notice him standing there. "Wow, you guys weren't kidding, your house is-" "Fucked. Up." Spark finished my sentence. "Yeah." I agreed. "It was a piece of shit anyway." Spark shrugged. Blaze chuckled. "Earlier, you were crying over it." "Hey, you shut your goddamn whore mouth." Spark said, pointing an angry hoof at Blaze. "That was before Flash generously offered to save our asses." "Still doesn't change the fact that you were acting like a drama queen." Blaze smiled. "Hey, fuck you." I couldn't help but laugh at that. If anything, their conversations were entertaining. "The fuck's wrong with you?" Spark asked me as I continued laughing. "Nothing." I said, still chuckling. "You two just crack me up. You guys really are one of a kind." "Alright then." Spark said, a little confused. "Well, I don't know about you assholes, but I'm gonna go buy a house." "Wait for me," Blaze said, walking over to Spark. "I don't trust you with a choice as major as this." "I'll go too." I said. "Not like I have anything better to do." "Don't be so enthusiastic." Spark said. "You might hurt yourself." "You are just a ray of sunshine today, aren't you?" I asked him. "Guys, please." Blaze interrupted. "The sarcasm here is going to give me a stroke. Let's just go." "Alright, let's go get ourselves a motherfucking house!" Spark yelled, and started trotting away. Blaze and I followed his lead for a few feet, until he suddenly stopped and we bumped into the back of him. He turned around to us with an unsure face. "Now one question: where the fuck do we go?" He asked. "Well, I guess we... I don't know, I never bought a house before." Blaze said, puzzled as well. He turned to me. "Don't you know where to go? You were going to buy that one house, right?" He asked me. "Oh, uh, yeah." I said. "I, uh... I don't know where to go either." I said with honesty. "Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do?" Spark threw his hooves in the air. "This is why they should teach this kind of shit in school; to prepare us for adult life and shit. I may not know how to buy a house and pay bills, but thank Christ I can find the value of x in a polynomial function!" "Well..." I started to think of a solution. "I guess we could check with Twilight. She was helping me get a house before I moved in with Rainbow Dash, so she probably knows." "Sounds like as good of an idea as any." Blaze said. He pointed his hoof forward. "Onward to Purple Smart!" "Her house is actually this way." I said, pointing behind us to the giant tree library. "Yeah, dumbass." Spark lightly hit Blaze over the head. Blaze quickly turned around to switch directions. "Onward!" He started marching, and Spark and I followed our esteemed leader. Well, they're at least going to meet Twilight now. I thought as we neared her house. As we came up to the front door, Blaze stopped and turned to me, motioning for me to knock on the door. "Why don't you do it? You're already there." I said, walking up to the door. "She doesn't know me." Blaze said, as if that was enough of an explanation. I just rolled my eyes and pounded on the door with my hoof. A few moments later, the door opened and we were greeted by a familiar purple unicorn. "Hello there, White Flash." Twilight smiled. She looked around me and noticed Blaze and Spark beside me. "Oh, and hello..." She trailed off. "Twilight, this is Blaze and Spark." I said, returning the smile. "Sup." Spark said, while Blaze just waved to her shyly. I swear, if it wasn't for Fluttershy, I'd say he was the most bashful pony in Ponyville. Twilight smiled at them. "Well, Blaze and Spark, I'm Twilight Sparkle. Any friend of White Flash's is a friend of mine. It's very nice to meet you both." "Nice to meet you, Ms. Sparkle." Spark said. Twilight smiled and stepped aside. "Well, come on in, you three. I'm sure you don't want to be standing outside while we talk." "Thanks," I said, and walked into the library that Twilight called home. I heard the sound of Spark's and Blaze's hooves behind me as they followed me inside. I looked around inside of the tree house. All of the books and scrolls were stacked and put away neatly on the shelves; much cleaner than I had last seen it. I looked over to see Blaze and Spark in awe of the library. They were probably freaking out on the inside from seeing it in real life. Twilight closed the door and walked over to us. "So, was there something you guys needed?" She asked. "Oh, yeah." I said. I almost forgot that we came here for a reason. "Blaze and Spark here recently lost their home due to... an unfortunate event." "It was bullshit was what it was." Spark said, not even looking at us as he continued to marvel at the house. I could see Twilight cringe slightly at the cursing. "Uh, yeah." I said. "Anyway, they need a house, and since you were helping me find one before, I figured maybe you could help them." "Say no more." Twilight smiled. "I'd be happy to help your friends find a new place to live." I looked over at Blaze and Spark. Blaze was walking over toward us, while Spark was still looking around at everything. "Thanks, we really appreciate it." Blaze said as he came over to us. "Oh, it's no trouble at all. I'm happy to help anypony that needs it. "Well, it's a good thing we have you because we had no idea where to even start." I said. Twilight giggled. "Don't worry, buying a house can be a confusing process. I'll help you guys." "Wonderful," I heard Spark trotting up behind me, stopping between Blaze and me. "Now that we got that all sorted out, how about we go find ourselves a five-star house that'll put Eminem's mansion to shame?" Spark said with enthusiasm. "Or at least a small cabin with functioning walls." Blaze said. I pointed to Blaze. "That's the spirit!" I turned to look at Twilight. "You ready to go, Twilight?" "Sure, just let me get some things first." She said, walking over to the bookshelf to grab some books. She turned back toward us. "You guys go ahead, I'll meet you outside." "You heard the lady!" Spark said, pushing Blaze and I toward the door. "Let's get a move on!" As we were pushed passed the door, I could hear Twilight chuckling and she turned back to the bookshelf. When we finally stopped outside, Spark quit his pushiness. "You seem awfully excited." I said, closing the front door behind us. "Damn right I am." Spark said. "I'm ready to get me a motherfucking house." "I gotta say," Blaze said. "I am excited to get a place that doesn't feel like it'll collapse on top of you at all times." "Hey, I fucking tried, okay?" Spark said. "That house lasted almost as long as a middle school relationship." Blaze said. "Whatever," Spark grumbled. "It wasn't bad for a makeshift wooden piece of shit." "Yeah, yeah." Blaze waved the subject off. "On a different note, did you see how awesome Twilight's house is?" "Oh, fuck yeah, man. It looks exactly like the fucking show!" Spark said excitedly. I found the whole situation pretty funny. "You two sound like a couple of fan girls." I chuckled. "Hey, shut the fuck up. You can't tell me you haven't freaked out at least once since being here." Spark said. It was true. I had had my fill of fan girl moments here as well. "Yeah," I said. "But it's still funny seeing your reactions." "Well, fuck you too." Spark said as a comeback. "Burn." Blaze said jokingly. "God, you guys are such fucking morons sometimes, it hurts." Spark sighed. "Is Twilight ever gonna come out here? Holy shit." At that moment, the front door opened, and Twilight came walking out with a saddlebag full of books. "Okay, are we ready?" "I'll never be readier!" Spark said. "Where are we going?" Twilight giggled. "We're going to go look at some houses and see which ones catch your eye." "Ah," Spark said, and stepped back. "In that case, lead the way!" Twilight smiled and trotted to the front of our group and continued into town. I looked to Blaze and Spark. "Time to get you guys a house," I said, and trotted after Twilight, quickly followed by my two idiots. The sound of four sets of hooves clicking against the ground as we made our way to the houses was music to my pony ears, and I couldn't help but smile. You'd think I would have gotten used to being in Equestria by now, but the littlest things still brought the biggest smiles to my face. > 28. House Hunting > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "We'll start at the Lake View Resorts." Twilight said as she led us through town, not taking her eyes from the book she levitated in front of her face. "Oh, sounds majestic." Spark commented. Twilight looked back at Spark and levitated the book over to him. "Oh, it is. Houses by Ponyville Lake with a beautiful view of the town. It's so wonderful, I'm sure you'd love it!" Spark's eyes rolled across the pages of the book that floated in front of him. "I'd imagine they're pretty pricey." I said as we continued walking. The widening of Spark's eyes confirmed my inference. "Holy shit! Damn right they are!" He took the book out of the air from Twilight's magic and brought it over to me. "75,000 bits!" I almost choked. "Now that is a lot of money." As we were looking at it, a dark purple aura surrounded the book and it was brought over to Twilight. "Yeah, probably not one of the most practical options, I guess." Twilight said with a nervous laugh, and continued to flip through the pages. "Now, wait." Blaze spoke up. "Surely we could still at least go check out the houses. It won't hurt us to go see it, and I don't know about you guys, but I've never been in a fancy house before." "Well, we could if you guys want to." Twilight said, stopping her trot and looking back at us. Spark looked at me and shrugged. "Eh, why the fuck not. It'll kill some time." "Finally, we get to do something I want for a change!" Blaze exclaimed, clapping his hooves together in excitement. Twilight smiled. "So, off to the Lake View, then?" She asked. "The votes were unanimous." I said with a smirk. "Lead the way." Twilight rolled her eyes with a smile and began to trot down the street once again as the three of us followed. She continued looking through the book, searching for more house options. "Oh, actually we could go see the Canter Hills housing edition, first. The homes there are very nice, and it's closer than the Lake View." Twilight suggested to us. She slowed her trot so she was walking along with us. "Will we still check out the Lake View afterwards?" Blaze asked. Twilight giggled. "Yes, we'll still go look at the Lake View." "Then, it's fine by me." Blaze said with a smile. "Sounds like a plan." Spark agreed. He looked to Blaze. "You think it'll have something that'll live up to our old house?" He asked. "Literally anything will live up to our old house." Blaze said. "I'm sure it won't be that hard of a decision." "Was your old house really that bad?" Twilight asked them. "Worse." Spark said. "The wood was rotted all to hell and it was very poorly constructed." "Yikes. Who did you buy it from?" Twilight asked. "No one. I made it." Spark said. "That's why it was so shitty." "He doesn't exactly have a PhD in construction." Blaze explained. "That, and I'm fucking terrible with magic. By the time all that factored in, it was a literal piece of shit." "Oh, come on, you can't be that bad with magic." Twilight said. "Wanna bet?" He asked. His horn sparked light blue, and a weak aura enveloped Twilight's book. It floated around unsteadily, aimlessly jerking every which way and suddenly rocketing into Blaze's face, smacking against his snout, and dropping to the ground. "Ow..." Blaze said, rubbing his snout. "See?" Spark looked to Twilight. Twilight levitated the book back over to her. "I see your point." She put it in her saddlebag. "Well, if you'd like, I could help you learn how to use your magic." She offered. "Nah, I'm good. I'll learn eventually." Spark said. "Are you sure?" Twilight asked. "It's hard to become better with magic without a teacher. You can trust me on that one." "Yeah, let her teach you, Spark." Blaze added. "You're always complaining about how you suck at magic, now you don't have to suck as much." "No, I'm not taking fucking magic lessons." Spark said insistently. He looked to Twilight. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm more of a teach myself guy." "Well, alright. But if you ever change your mind, feel free to stop by the library." Twilight smiled. "I'll keep that in mind." Spark said. As we walked through town, Twilight, Spark, and Blaze continued talking, but I had tuned them out as I lost myself in thought. Man, I've never been to this part of town before. I thought. This housing edition must be way on the other side. I can't believe I haven't even been all around Ponyville yet. Kind of odd, considering I would have given anything to be in the position I am now. I looked to the sky and saw the familiar cloud house that I called home. There's Dash's house. I say Dash's house, but I live there now, too. Is it my house as well? I did kind of only move in because I had nowhere else to go and it seems kind of stupid for me to get my own house if we're a couple. Eh, maybe I'll ask her later. I wonder what she's doing now. I wonder if she's thinking about me too. God, listen to me, I sound like a sappy love novel. I wonder if Spark or Blaze ever think about this. Especially Spark. It'd be great to see his thoughts about Pinkie Pie throughout the day. Although, on second thought, maybe it wouldn't. I can only imagine Spark's head is constantly filled with him fantasizing about God knows what. Maybe- "Isn't that right, Flash?" Blaze's voice brought me back to reality as my thoughts vanished. "Uh, what?" I asked stupidly. "Spark acted so fake when he went out with Pinkie Pie the other day." Blaze said. "Oh, uh, yeah." I said, though not fully aware of what I was agreeing to. I suddenly snapped out of my confusion and realized what Blaze was talking about. "Oh, yeah." I said, starting to chuckle lightly. "That was actually pretty funny to watch. I never thought you could ever be that nice." "Hey, shut your fucking mouth. I was trying to create the illusion that I'm not an asshole." Spark defended. "And how'd that work out for ya?" Blaze teased. "Eh." Spark replied with diffidence. Twilight smiled. "Well, from what it sounds like, pretending to be something you're not didn't help you too much." "You got that right." Spark said. "She totally digs the real me better. If it wasn't for these two idiots coming along, I'd still be doing the whole douchebag-guy-with-a-guitar-sweet-talking-faggot act, and there's no way I'd be able to keep that shit up for long without killing myself." "Well, I'm very glad it worked out for you two." Twilight smiled. "I am too." Spark said, with a hint of meaning in his voice. We continued walking for a little while longer until we came to a gate that said, "Welcome to Canter Hills! The next chapter of your life starts with us." "Yuck, the welcoming sign already makes me want to hightail it the fuck out of here." Spark commented. "Ah, give it a chance." I said, though even I was having doubts about the place, "It might be a nice place to live." "Or it might be one of those annoyingly perfect friendly neighborhoods that make you want to blow your brains out." Spark said, losing all confidence in the place. "Either way, let's hurry and check it out," Blaze said hastily, pushing Spark and I past the gate. "I wanna go look at the Lake View as soon as we can." I heard Twilight chuckle from behind us as she followed us into the neighborhood. "You're very adamant about seeing the Lake View." Blaze quit pushing us along, allowing us to walk on our own. "Sorry, I just really like looking at nice houses." He said, slowing up so Twilight could catch up to us. "I just find them really cool for some reason." "Oh, I know how you feel." Twilight agreed. "I'm easily fascinated by architectural genius." "You lost me at 'fascinated'." Spark said. "Oh, uh, sorry." Her face flushed in embarrassment. "I just mean that well made houses amaze me as well." "Ah." Spark said in an uncaring tone. "Well, you two marvel at the houses all you want, but I'm gonna look for somewhere to live." He started walking down the cobblestone road through the housing edition. I looked around the small neighborhood and immediately noticed something that would piss Spark off. "It's all the fucking same!" He turned back toward us and pointed around. "The houses, the grass, the yards, it's all the goddamn same thing! It's like I stepped into a real life copy and pasted piece of SHIT!!!" He finished with loud yelling. Called it. I thought with a smirk on my face. "Well...It is a housing edition." Twilight said. "Generally, most of the homes are the same." "But it's so...FUCK, I CAN'T STAND IT!!!" Spark shouted once more. "IT'S TOO PERFECT!!!" "I'm surprised no pony has come out to see what's going on out here." I said to myself. "So, you don't like it?" Twilight asked. "Fuck no!" Spark quickly stormed past us and out of the gate of the neighborhood without another word. I looked to Twilight. "Don't mind him," I said. "He just...likes to express his opinions...loudly." "I can see that." She said with a bit of a surprised look on her face. "Oh, well. I'm sure we'll find a house that both of them will agree on." I snickered. "Good luck with that." We were interrupted when Blaze galloped past us and over to the gate. He turned toward us. "Come on! You heard the guy, we need to move on!" He turned back and galloped over to Spark, who was trying his best to cool off from his brief fit of rage. "Well, time to go, I guess." I said, and motioned for Twilight to follow me over to the two idiots. "Well, since those houses didn't exactly interest you guys," Twilight flipped through one of the books she brought, scanning the pages for what she wanted to find. "Next, we could go look at a house for sale at Hemlock Avenue." "Anything is better than fucking Canter Hills." Spark said, obviously still a little irritated from the unparalleled order in the neighborhood. "I thought we were going to see Lake View next." Blaze said. "Ah, quit your whining, Blaze." Spark scolded. "We'll look at that last. We need to find an actual house for us first." Blaze sighed. "Fine. I guess we can go to the next one." He said with a bit of a pout. Spark just rolled his eyes as we continued along the way to Hemlock Avenue. "So, what is your budget for this house?" Twilight asked Spark. "About a thousand bits or less." He said. "That's perfect! This next house will fit right in with what you're willing to pay." Twilight said excitedly. "As long as there's nothing wrong with it, I'm game." Spark said. "Oh no, this house is pretty nice. It's also rather new, so there's no damage that I know of." She said. "This might be the one." "Hopefully," Spark said, "We've only been out for like twenty minutes and I'm already tired of house hunting. I'm ready to get it over with." "Then we can go see Lake View?" Blaze asked, bringing himself into the conversation. Twilight giggled. "Yes, Blaze, then we can go see Lake View." "Finally!" He smiled happily, trotting along with us as we headed for what would hopefully be our last stop. We eventually entered into parts of Ponyville that were familiar to me, and I looked to the sky, losing myself in thought once more. Hmm, it's getting close to the evening. I wonder if this is going to take much longer. Oh, well, I don't have much to do anyway. Dash probably won't be back until later. I have time to kill. I just hope that- "Oh, hi, Rarity!" Twilight greeted a familiar white mare, bringing me back to reality once again. I looked ahead to see Twilight talking to a smiling Rarity. "Well, hello, darling!" She greeted back. She looked over Twilight's shoulder, her ears lowering a bit at the sight of me. "Hello, White Flash." She said halfheartedly. "Hey, Rarity." I waved. Why was she always so...sad when she's around me? She looked over to see Blaze and Spark, and her mood instantly changed. "Hello, there." She walked over to them, smiling elegantly. "I am Rarity. And you are?" "Spark," Spark said. He pointed to Blaze. "And this little faggot is Blaze. Say hi, Blaze." "Hi." Blaze said a little quietly. "It's very nice to meet you both." She smiled. She turned back to Twilight. "So, Twilight, what are you guys up to?" "Well, White Flash and I were helping Blaze and Spark find a new place to live. Their house recently took a turn for the worst, and they're homeless." "Oh, you poor dears." Rarity turned back to them. "I'm so terribly sorry, that must be awful." "The house was a piece of shit anyway." Spark said simply. "I'm actually happy we're getting an upgrade." "Oh...well, I guess that's good." Rarity said a little awkwardly. "Very good." Spark agreed. There were a few moments of empty silence between the five of us until Rarity cleared her throat in the most petite way possible. "Well, I can tell you four are very busy," She said. "I'll just let you get back to your search for a new home, and I wish you the best of luck." "Thanks." Spark said. And with that, Rarity trotted off, not saying another word to me or Twilight. What is her deal? She acts so...awkward whenever she's around me. I'll have to visit her some time and ask her about it. "Well, that was a fucking train wreck." Spark said. "Is she always that socially inept?" He asked Twilight. "No, not at all." She said. "There must have been something bothering her. I can't imagine what, though." Spark shrugged. "Ah, well. Let's get back to checking out that Hemlock Avenue house." "Alright, then." Twilight said, a little puzzled by the encounter, and continued the way to Hemlock Avenue. As Twilight led us through town, Spark dropped back to Blaze and I. "So, I'll be honest." Blaze whispered to us, "I don't really like Rarity all that much." "Oh yeah, she's a fucking bitch. I've always hated her." Spark said, not even bothering to lower his voice. I shrugged. "She's alright. Not my top three, but not bad, either." Spark looked at me. "I appreciate your opinion, but it's fucking wrong." He said. "She's easily the worst pony." "No, that's Applejack." Blaze argued. "Are you kidding?" Spark asked, "She's, like, second best!" "Nah, I'm sorry but I hate anything that has to do with anything southern." Blaze said. Spark sighed. "You're fucking awful." He turned to me. "What about you? Who's worst on your list?" "Oh, uh, well, I guess-" "We're here!" Twilight smiled back at us. We all looked up to see the house we were stopped at. The house itself didn't look much different from most of the houses in Ponyville, except it was a little bigger. Spark walked up to it and gave an approving nod. "Looks good so far." He said, walking over to the front door. I wasn't sure why, but for some reason, this house seemed very familiar... "Hey, Flash, this is the house where you found out I was a hum-" I quickly grabbed Blaze and covered his mouth with my hoof. It's a good thing I already knew what he was going to say before it happened. We looked up to see Spark looking back at us with a death stare. I uncovered Blaze's maw, only for him to mouth the word 'sorry' to Spark. "What was that?" Twilight asked, looking over to Blaze and I. Quick! Think of something! "He, uh, was about to say that this is where I found out he was a, uh..." I stammered. "Humerus donor!" "Humanitarian worker!" "Humongous faggot!" All three of us finished my sentence simultaneously, rewarding us with an addled look from Twilight. "You're a...what?" She asked in a confused tone. "A humerus donor." "A humanitarian worker." "A humongous faggot. Like, just a complete faggot." She tilted her head in utter confusion. "Okay, he's a humanitarian worker that has donated a part of his humerus to a dying hospital patient, but he's also the biggest faggot you'll ever meet." Spark said, hoping to clear her confusion with his weak explanation. "Yeah! What he said!" I agreed with a nervous smile. "Well, um, okay then." Twilight decided to go with what Spark said and run with it. "Well, do you guys still want to check out this house, or...?" "Oh, fuck yeah!" Spark opened the front door and held it long enough for Twilight to step inside. When Blaze was about to walk in, Spark stopped him for a brief moment. He put his hoof on Blaze's shoulder, looked him dead in the eye and said, "You're a fucking dumbass." and he lightly smacked him over the head with his hoof, allowing him to pass through the doorway. As I walked past Spark into the house, he said, "Nice cover up." "You too." I said, and I heard him close the door behind me. Looking at the house from the inside left no question in my mind that this was indeed the house that I was originally going to buy, and it was also the house where I found out Blaze was a human after my flawless 'cupcakes' method. It still looked the same as it did nearly a week ago, with a fireplace, tiled kitchen, and a second floor with two bedrooms. "This place is fucking nice." Spark said with a whistle. "How much did you say this costs?" He turned to Twilight. "One thousand bits." Twilight replied. "Fuck. We only have seven hundred." Spark cursed. "Hmm..." Twilight thought. "Either you could maybe get somepony to let you stay with them until you get the money, or you could try to convince the seller to bring the price down. I'm not sure if the latter would work, but it's worth a shot." "True." Spark said. "I'm a master of persuasion, so I should be able to do that with no problem." " 'Master' is a bit of an overstatement." Blaze said, still rubbing the back of his head from where Spark hit him. "Nah, I can totally get anyone to do whatever the fuck I want them to." He looked to me. "Hey, Flash, mind coming over for a sec?" I walked over to him. "Yeah?" "See? What'd I tell you?" He said to Twilight. "Master." I facehoofed while Twilight chuckled. "I see your point." She said. "You can go ahead and try, you might get lucky." "Oh, I don't need luck." Spark said. "Where is this motherfucker? I wanna buy this shit!" "Well...I'm actually not sure." She said, looking around. "She's usually around the house somewhere, and I haven't seen her lately." "Well, fuck! Now what?" Spark asked. "We could go look at Lake View for a little bit and come back later to see if she's here then." Twilight suggested. "I like that idea." Blaze said. Spark huffed. "Fine. Let's go to fucking Lake View." "Hurray!" Blaze cheered, and almost tripped over himself as he ran out the door. "And there he goes." I said, watching the door slam behind him. "Goddamn faggot." Was all Spark could say as he made his way out the door, followed by Twilight. I took one last look at the interior of the house before I walked out as well. As I walked outside, I looked to the sky and noticed that the sky was starting to grow a bright orange color from the setting sun. Must be getting late. I looked ahead to see my three companions on their way to Lake View, when Blaze suddenly looked back. "Flash? Aren't you coming?" He asked, stopping the group. "Uh, nah." I said, waving him off. "You guys go on without me. I'm gonna head on home, it's getting a little late." Spark looked up at the sky. "Wish I had a fucking home to head to." "Don't go so soon," Blaze said. "At least-" Spark stopped Blaze in his tracks. "Nah, Blaze. It's okay, let him go." Spark gave me a nod that said 'I got you, bro'. He knew what I was thinking about. It's great to have friends like Spark. "Why? What do-?" Blaze tried to interject. "Don't fucking worry about it, Blaze. Say bye bye to Flash and let's go." Spark defended. Blaze sighed. "Fine. See ya, Flash." He said without interest. "See ya, Blaze." I smirked. I looked to Spark and returned his nod. He responded with a salute and a look of respect. I turned to Twilight. "You think you can handle these two by yourself, Twilight?" I asked her. She chuckled. "It should be no problem. I think I've learned how to tame them by now." She said jokingly. "I'll see you around, Flash." "See you, Twilight." I waved, and to Blaze's joy, the group continued on their way to Lake View. I smiled, and started on my way back home. My face instantly lit up and my heart started racing as I remembered what was waiting for me at the house. I couldn't get there fast enough. > 29. Good Feelings > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I flew through town at a fast pace, though not as fast as I could manage. The wind rushing through my mane and across the span of my wings sent such a calming sensation through my body that I actually slowed up a bit just to take the time to enjoy it. After all this time, flying still had the same glorious effect on me that it had when I first learned. Alas, the thoughts at the back of my mind got the best of me, and I sped up once again toward the house where Rainbow Dash was no doubt waiting for me. I sped along, a smile slowly growing across my face as I thought about what was waiting for me at the house. The more I lost myself in thought, the more I quickened my pace. So, it's the end of the day. Dash is at home, waiting for me. Me. It's still hard to comprehend. I really can't wait to see the look on her face when I get her something nice with- I suddenly stopped in midair, my heart plummeting into my stomach like a cold stone. I gave all the money I had to Spark. I can't buy anything for Dash if I have no money. I put my face in my hooves. How could I completely space that? I'm awful. I suddenly perked up, trying to look on the bright side of things. Well, she doesn't know I'm getting her anything in the first place. I guess I'll just have to wait until I have the money again. I began to fly again, though not nearly as fast as before. And it's not like I wasted all that money. Blaze and Spark really needed it for a house. It was for a good cause. I started to fly faster now with a happier attitude about the situation. Yeah, I did a good thing. And what's that one saying? Do good and good will be done unto you? Hell, maybe I'll get something really good for me out of this. I suddenly remembered the whole reason I was rushing home in the first place, and I instantly went back to the same rushed pace. Oh, yeah. I am getting something really good out of this. "Dash! I'm back!" I proclaimed as I burst through the door, a smile adorning my face. The smile quickly faded when I realized that the entire house was completely silent, aside from the monotonous ticking of the clock on the wall. I looked around, a little disappointed. Dash was nowhere to be found. I sighed. "She must not be back yet." I said to myself. I looked at the clock. It was only seven o'clock. "Guess I jumped the gun on that one." I idly kicked my front hoof against the floor and looked around. Well, what should I do until she gets back? I looked around once more, looking for any inspiration at all for something to entertain me. One thing about me is that I get bored very easily, and waiting for long periods of time just doesn't cut it. I walked down the hall and into Dash's room--or was it my room too? I should probably ask her these things. I walked into the bedroom, and immediately, my eyes caught sight of the messy bed sheets that were still strewn about the bed from two nights before when we slept in the bed and not on the ground. Guess I could fix the bed sheets. Make the place look a little more tidy. I walked over to the mess and looked it over. Screw this, I won't be able to do this with hooves. Since I gave up on that idea, I decided to walk over to the window that overlooked the wonderful little town of Ponyville. I looked out into the bright, golden hue that cascaded across the sky of the beautiful Equestrian summer evening, creating one of the most pristine sights I had ever had the pleasure to witness. "Meh." I said in response of the sight, and I walked out of the bedroom and down the hall toward the bathroom. As I opened the door into the bathroom, I looked into the mirror to admire my wrapped up snout again. It didn't hurt very bad anymore, it had dulled down over the past few days to a slight throb that was more annoying than painful. I wonder if I can take this stupid bandage off tomorrow. It hasn't been a couple weeks like the doctor said it should, but it feels healed. I'll try it in the morning and see how it goes. I continued to turn my head around in the mirror to study it from all angles. My snout seemed to be sort of crooked--not by much, but just enough for me to notice. I frowned at the new found feature. Man, I hope this doesn't look bad when it's healed. I stopped looking at my snout and looked up to my face. Since arriving in Equestria, I hadn't really gotten to see myself very much, but now I had ample time to do so. My bright red eyes seemed a tad out of place on my snow-white face. My mane was also very messy and almost completely out of shape from when I first saw it. I guess not combing or brushing it for that long will do that. I looked back at my face and gave a slight smirk to myself. Besides my snout and my hair, I actually looked pretty decent as a pony, I suppose. Apparently, it was good enough for Dash, so it was good enough for me. I looked down at the bathroom counter and saw a mane brush sitting paired with a toothbrush and a blow dryer. How do ponies use a blow dryer? I asked myself, though obviously not expecting an answer. I looked to the mane brush and picked it up. Random strands of rainbow colored hair barely clung onto the needles of the brush, giving it a colorful radiance. I looked to my messy mane in the mirror and back to the brush. Well, I wanna look good when Dash gets home... Maybe she won't notice if I use her brush. I took the brush in my hooves and gently pulled it back through my mane, slicking my mane back into a James Bond-type hairstyle. "Nice." I said. "But not me." I brought the brush across a different way. This time, my hair puffed up into a giant crimson and black afro. My face immediately dropped to a look of disapproval. "No." I said in disdain, and brought the brush back through my mane again. This time, my mane molded back into its natural mohawk shape. "There we go." I smiled at my reflection. "All ready to go." ... ... I should get a mustache. I was suddenly surprised by the slamming of a door in the other room. She's here! I quickly dropped the brush from excitement and rushed out of the bathroom, not even bothering to shut the door. I happily trotted down the hall and into the living room with the brightest smile on my face. I saw Dash at the end of the hall standing at the door, looking a little flustered. "Hey, Dash!" I greeted happily as I walked in. She suddenly looked to me and put on a slight smile. "Hey, Flash." She replied, blowing her rainbow bangs out of her face with a huff. She looked stressed out, and her mane looked unkempt and strands of it were sticking out everywhere. "Are you okay?" I asked her, moving closer to look her in the eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine." She said, looking back to her hurt wing and moving it a little. "But this stupid thing was hurting all day and it kept-" She attempted to push the ruffled feathers down to no avail and a shot of pain. "-getting in the way." She sighed. "How'd your day go?" "Pretty good actually." I said. "Twilight and I helped Blaze and Spark find a house to move into." "Sounds fun." Rainbow Dash said unenthusiastically, walking over into the kitchen. I frowned at her behavior. "Are you sure you're all right?" I asked again. "Yes!" She suddenly snapped back at me, sending me into a small state of shock. She must have seen my startled expression because she sighed. "I'm sorry. The pain is just really irritating. It's been really sore all day." She looked once again to her disabled wing. "How'd you fly up here?" I asked. "Very painfully." She said. Aw, come on! Now you're making me feel bad! I walked over to her gave her a small peck on the nose. "Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me." Her sparkling eyes suddenly brightened. "Okay, Flash." She smirked with a small blush. She continued into the kitchen and opened up one of the cabinets. "Just let me get something to eat first and I'll have you do something for me. Meet me in the bedroom." Before she could even wait for a response, I was already bolting down the hall. I charged through the doorway of the bedroom, not even checking if the door was closed. Luckily, it wasn't, and I dashed right into the bed, sitting down and thinking of my approach for when Dash got here. Should I lay a certain way? Or should I just wait? Maybe she likes a sexy pose. Or maybe she won't care. But there's always the possibility that she does. What should I say when she gets in here? 'Hey, cutie?' No, that's too corny. Maybe I shouldn't say anything. But I really should. But what? Maybe I should comment on her mane? God, I'm bad at this stuff. At that moment, I was overjoyed to see the rainbow colored mare enter the room and turn to me with a smile. "Uh, hey, uh, cutie." I said awkwardly, immediately regretting it. Smooth, dude. She smiled at me. "Hey, hot stuff." She walked over to me and I scooted over to make a spot for her on the bed. I cleared my throat as I looked into her eyes. "So, Dash. What was it you wanted me to do for you?" I asked in a hopeful tone. "Well," She started, staring at me intently and scooting ever so closer every second, "I was thinking you could..." Her eyes fell half open, and her lips were inches from my own. I braced myself for the sweet kiss, when suddenly, she turned herself around, flipped her mane, and fell back into me all in one swift motion. "...lay here with me and relax for a bit." She looked up to me with large magenta eyes, her head resting on my chest. "Oh, alright." I said. I wasn't really expecting that. I fell back onto the pillows of the bed, and Dash moved with me, her body laying peacefully on mine. She let out a large sigh and snuggled closer into me, sending a wave of liveliness through my body. There was something about Dash that always made me feel so great. Though, that had always been the case, even before I got to Equestria. I wrapped my arms around her, making her smile in pure happiness. "I'm so glad you're here. It's been a really long day." She said. "I'm sure it has." I said. "Your wing must feel awful." "It really does." Dash sat up and sat on my stomach with her back facing me, looking back to her wing with a pained expression. "Do you mind doing something else for me, Flash?" She asked. "Sure." I said. "What do you need?" "Could you...uh..." She started. "What? Just tell me." I said with a reassuring smile. "Could you...massage my wing?" She asked with an irresistibly timid face, as if she were afraid to ask. "Uh, sure, Dash." I said. She smiled at me and scooted down off of me so I could sit up. I sat up on the fluffy cloud bed, with Rainbow Dash in front of me expecting a wing massage. Whatever I did to get in this position, I did it right! "Just saying, I don't really know how to do massages." I said. She looked back to me. "Don't worry, I don't want something too extravagant, just enough to make my wing stop hurting." "Well, alright then." I said, and Dash turned her gaze toward the giant window to look out over Ponyville to watch the sunset in the distance. Not really sure of where to start, I gingerly took her injured wing in my hooves, being careful not to hurt her. I started stroking up and down the length of it, sending visible shivers down the mare's spine. "That feels amazing." She purred. "Keep it up." Not wanting to disappoint Dash, I continued with the method, stroking a little slower and longer this time, straightening the ruffled feathers as I went along. "It's a really beautiful sunset this evening." Dash commented, still arching her back from the massage. "It sure is." I replied. "It's a good thing I get to watch it with you." I started to move to the base of her wing and put pressure on her back, causing her to moan loudly. "You are awesome at this. I don't know what you were talking about when you said you didn't know how to do this." She arched her back even more. Her wings started to extend gradually until they extended to their full span. "Uh, Dash?" I asked as she continued to moan and purr at my every stroke. "Are you okay up there?" "Better than I've been all day!" She sounded back to me. "Well, your wings are kind of going insane back here." I said. I had stopped the massage, but her wings were still at full length. She looked back at her wings with a small blush. "Sorry. You're just...really good with your hooves I guess." She said with a nervous laugh. I smiled back to her. "Well, you know, I try." She smiled and turned around to face me and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "Thanks, by the way. You really made me feel better." I leaned in and kissed her back, the gesture of love lasting for at least a good thirty seconds, or somewhere close to that. Time loses all meaning when you're locked in a passionate kiss with someone--or in this case, somepony--you really care for, and I was so glad I could finally experience that feeling. Dash pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "So...since you did that for me, I guess I owe you something, too." She said with an adorable smirk. My heart started beating rapidly. I had been waiting for this moment all day, but it didn't make the experience any less nerve-racking. At least last night Rainbow Dash was the one that did everything. It looked like I was going to have to make the first move this time. "Well, uh, why, whatever could I want from you?" I asked her, though obviously knowing the answer to my own question. "Oh, I don't know..." She moved closer and put her arms around my neck, looking even deeper into my eyes. "It's just you, alone with a beautiful young mare that finds you extremely attractive, and a bed made out of clouds. You tell me." I could feel my eyes widen at the irresistible offer. "Well, in that case," I pushed Dash back onto the bed, and I stood over her, in complete control. "There is one thing that I would like. That is, if you don't mind it." Dash giggled like a giddy school girl "Go for it, Flashy Boy." "Gladly." I smiled, and leaned in for one final kiss of the evening. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ ......... .......... ........... What? You were expecting clop weren't you? LOL JOKE'S ON YOU!!!!!11 > 30. Missed Opportunities and Strange Skies > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next morning had arrived in no time. I awoke peacefully, facing toward the beautiful cyan mare that slept silently next to me. All four of her hooves were completely wrapped around my body in a loving embrace, and her body heat radiated into me, bringing me a sense of eternal warmth. These were the kinds moments I knew I would remember forever. I smiled at the thought of having Dash with me for the rest of my life. So far, the few, short days I'd been in Equestria had more than made up for the past sixteen years of depression and crappiness of my human life. Just thinking about...being a pony...and living in Ponyville with my best friends...for the rest of my life. It teased a bright smile fueled by pure joy onto my face as I thought more and more of my life. Even though I had sort of gotten used to being a pony, I never completely got over the fact that I was a pony, and this was my life. I'm sure the fun times I've had so far are just a jubilant presage of the adventures to come. I couldn't wait to see what my future held for me. I was still beaming ear to ear when Dash's eyelids gracefully fluttered open to reveal her sleepy magenta eyes. She blinked off her sleepiness and started giggling. "What? You happy to see me or something?" She asked, cutting me off with a kiss before I could even answer. Our lips remained locked together for a short time before I pressed my tongue onto her lips. Less than a moment later, we were comfortably exploring each other's mouths with vigor. I felt Dash's tongue slide across mine and into my mouth as I did the same for her. After a few moments, the sweet make out session ended with the parting of our lips and a small thread of saliva bridging its way between us. The emptiness left in my mouth afterward made it feel like I had lost my own tongue. Dash looked at me with a smirk. "Taking control, huh?" She asked, referring to me making the first move. "Well, uh, I-" I stammered. Dash put her hoof up to my lips to silence me. "I like it." She gave me a seductive wink. "You should do it more often." I smirked weakly. "I'll keep that in mind." Dash smiled back and gave me a quick peck on the nose before unwrapping herself from me and rolling over and out of bed. She looked down at me as I lay on the bed. "Do you really still have to wear that dumb wrapping thing around your snout?" She asked. I looked down at my snout to the medical wrap. "Well, it doesn't really hurt anymore. The doctor said a few weeks, but it feels pretty fine to me." "Then go ahead and take it off. No use in it being in the way all day." Dash said. I smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not like it's doing much anyway." I sat up in bed and started unwrapping the white bandage from my snout very carefully. I completely removed the wrapping from my snout and lay it on the bed. "Is it bad?" I asked Dash. She gave me a questioning look and scrutinized my snout, looking for any blemishes. "Well, there's a little bruise. Other than that, you look fine." She said with a smile. "Define little." I said. "Hold on." Dash turned around to the nightstand at her bedside and started sifting through the drawers for something until she pulled out a handheld mirror and held it in front of my face. Little bruise my white pony ass. The "little bruise" that Dash had described was nothing of the sort. There was a giant purple mass covering my entire snout where the bandages had been. And it looked like it should have hurt. I could tell Dash sensed my bewilderment by the nervous look on her face. "Okay, maybe it's not so little." She let out a small chuckle. I put my hoof up to the contusion on my face. "Holy crap, I look like I just got my ass kicked in a fight." "Yeah..." Dash slowly agreed. She put the mirror down and picked up the bandages. "You wanna put 'em back on?" I looked at the bandages in her hoof. "Nah, I think I'll be fine. It'll heal eventually." She smiled. "Yeah. And besides, I kinda like it. Makes you look awesome." "Well, at least you like it." I grinned. "There's no telling what Spark and Blaze will say, though." "Oh, they'll eat you alive." Dash said. "My thoughts exactly." I got out of the bed and stretched. "Oh well, they'll have their laugh and move on." "That reminds me." Rainbow Dash said as I finished stretching. "I still haven't met Spark." "Well, you're not missing much." I chuckled. "I'll take you to meet him today. I introduced him and Blaze to all our other friends yesterday." "Wow, leaving me out of all the fun, huh?" She asked playfully. "Yeah, pretty much." I said. I started on my way out of the bedroom and looked back at her. "You wanna meet him now, or do you have something better to do?" She trotted over to me. "Let's go meet him." She said. "From what I've heard from you, he sounds like fun." "Oh, he's something alright." I opened the bedroom door and nodded forward. "Let's go." As Rainbow Dash and I flew down toward the peaceful town of Ponyville, I realized that I might not know where to find Blaze and Spark. Were they at the new house or somewhere else? "Where are we going?" Dash asked as I suddenly stopped in the air. "Well..." I looked around the town from above as if it would help my search for them. "What?" Dash crossed her arms. "Well, I don't really know where to find them. They don't have a house, remember?" I said. "Oh, yeah." Rainbow Dash said. She scratched her chin with her hoof. "Would they be at Twilight's maybe? She was helping you guys find a house right? She probably would have offered them a place to live until they got everything straight." "Yeah, she did." I said. "They could be there, I guess." "Well, let's get going!" Dash said, and bolted down toward Ponyville with enthusiasm. I followed not far behind. We eventually arrived at Twilight's library after a short flight down to the town. Rainbow Dash motioned for me to go forward to knock on the door, and I happily obliged. I knocked my hoof on the heavy oak door in a rhythmic pattern, receiving a giggle from Dash as I did so. After a few moments of nothing, I turned to Rainbow Dash. "Do you think she's even awake yet?" "Oh yeah, definitely." Dash said with a wave of her hoof. "She's always up early reading, like, six books at a time. She's such an egghead." Dash rolled her eyes. "I mean, sure, I read 'Daring Do' all the time, but I'm not a complete bookworm like Twilight. How that pony can read so much and not get bored is beyond me." I chuckled. "Well, she's Twilight. She likes books. A lot." Dash snickered. "Understatement of the century." At that moment, I heard the front door open, and I turned to see a small purple dragon with an exhausted look on his face. "Uh. hey, Spike." I greeted. His annoyed face caught me off guard. "Is Twilight around?" "Yeah, she's here." Spike said, the usual enthusiasm he had was completely drained from his voice. "Is something wrong, Spike?" Rainbow Dash asked, walking up to the front door. "Nothing at all," He said. "Unless you count Twilight obsessing over a task Princess Celestia gave to her a problem, everything's fine." Dash rolled her eyes once more. "Ah, okay. Well, what's so important, then?" Spike shrugged. "I don't know exactly. Princess Celestia sent a letter last night, and Twilight took it before I had a chance to read it. She kept saying something about Starswirl the Bearded and how she had to perfect some spell. Her yammering kept me up ALL night! Next time Celestia tasks Twilight with something," He yawned. "She needs to take in account that I need my beauty sleep. Perfect scales like this don't just come with talent, you know." "Wait, so you mean Twilight's been up all night?" Dash asked. "Pretty much. I don't know how she does it." Spike said with another yawn. Dash sighed. "Well, I hope she does...whatever she's trying to do." "I do too." Spike said. "I need some peace and quiet. I'm completely worn out after that awesome party Blaze and Spark threw." "Wait, you know Blaze and Spark?" I asked, breaking my silence. "Oh, yeah, those guys are awesome!" Spike said, the enthusiasm briefly returning to his voice. "They're your friends, right?" "Uh, yeah." I said, a little surprised. "When did you even meet them?" "They came back with Twilight yesterday evening." Spike said matter-of-factly. "They just came from looking at houses or something and I met them here. Boy, they sure do know how to party!" "Wait, what party did you guys go to?" I asked. "Theirs. They threw a party and invited everypony in Ponyville. I gotta say, it was pretty off the hook." Spike said. "This all happened yesterday?" I asked. I couldn't believe I missed that much in just a few hours! "Yep." Spike smiled. "Wow, alright." I rubbed the back of my head. "Well, are they still here?" "Here? Oh no, they're at their house. That's where they had the party." Spike said. "Was it at a house near Sugarcube Corner?" I asked. "Yep." Spike said. They already moved in? Figures they would trash the place immediately. I thought. "Alright, well thanks, Spike," I said. "But Dash and I are gonna go find them. We'll let you get back to dealing with Twilight." I suddenly felt something grapple onto my leg and I looked down to see Spike clinging to me. "Please, no!" He pleaded. "Can I come with you? I can't stand Twilight's constant rambling. It's kind of starting to scare me." I looked down to his pitiful eyes and chuckled. "Well, alright." I shook him off of my leg and he stood in front of me. "Let's go find those idiots." "Thank you." Spike said with a bright smile. "Maybe I can catch some z's at their house." If it's even still standing. "Well, what are we waiting for?" Dash asked impatiently. "Let's go!" She motioned forward with her hoof and started walking. I looked down to Spike and nodded for him to follow us. We started walking through the town at a slow pace as Spike continued to lag behind Dash and I. We eventually had to stop when we heard a small thud behind us followed by loud snoring. Rainbow Dash sighed. "I'll carry him." She walked over to the unconscious Spike and scooped him up onto her back as he continued to sleep like a baby. She carried him on her back as we walked the rest of the way to the house where we hoped Blaze and Spark would be. I tried to ignore the idle snoring of the sleepy dragon resting on Dash's back, but that became an all but impossible idea. After a few minutes of walking and loud dragon snoring, we finally arrived at the house Blaze and Spark were so set on buying. "Well, Spike wasn't lying." I said to Dash as we walked up to the front door. There was toilet paper littering the entire house, trash all around the lawn, and an unconscious pink pony passed out on the front steps. "Is that Pinkie Pie?" Dash asked. "I think so." I chuckled. I walked up to the inert pink pony and nudged her with my hoof. "Hey, Pinkie. Time to wake up." It took a few rather violent shoves, but Pinkie finally woke up in a daze of sleepiness. "Wha..? Where am I?" She asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her pink cotton mane had random pieces of paper and candy strewn about it, almost as if she had dove into a pool of confetti and sugar. She looked around her then back up to Dash and I. Her confused face immediately switched to a smile. "Hi, Flash! Hi, Dashie!" She beamed. "Hey, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said. "Any reason you were passed out on the doorstep?" Pinkie wore a confused look once more and looked around again before looking back to us, another bright smile returning to her face. "I have no idea!" Despite the strangeness of the situation, Dash smiled. "Were you at the party Spike told us about?" "Ohhhhh yeah! I was!" Pinkie smiled as she got to her feet. "Spark and Blaze threw the bestest party EVER!!! There was music, and dancing, and games! And also some kind of weird liquid that Spark brought. I had a LOT of that!" Pinkie paused to giggle with a finishing snort. "If they keep this up, I might need to get a new title and let them plan all the parties!" "Sounds like it was fun." I said, a little disappointed that I missed what sounded like a great time. "It was!" Pinkie beamed. Dash giggled. "Well, party's over now, Pinkie Pie. You should probably go back home." "Good idea!" Pinkie said. "My head kind of hurts. Maybe it was all that stuff I drank!" Pinkie bounced past us with her trademark smile adorning her face. "Nice cutie mark, Flash!" She complimented as she passed me. "Thanks." I said as I turned to her, but she was already out of sight. The confused look on my face got a laugh out of Dash. "It's Pinkie Pie, remember?" She offered as an explanation. "I guess that's true." I said, not even bothering to try to find a reasonable explanation for how she disappeared so quickly. I walked up to the front door and pounded it with my hoof. I half expected it to collapse in on itself, but it fortunately held up. Guess this house is Blaze-and-Spark proof. As we waited for an answer, I heard a disruption of a certain snoring pattern behind me, and I looked back to see Spike sitting up on Dash's back as he woke from his short nap. "Morning, sleepyhead." Rainbow Dash teased. "You get your 'beauty sleep'?" "Not quite." Spike yawned and scratched his stomach. He looked around at the mess that was the new house and chuckled. "Ah, good times." Dash just rolled her eyes and turned back to me. "Are they even up yet?" She asked. I shrugged. "Honestly, with them, there's no telling. Let's just wait it out." A few moments later, the door creaked opened to reveal a tired yellow unicorn with an unbelievably messy mane. He gave me a small smirk. "Nice bruise, bitch." He looked past me to see Rainbow Dash with a smile on her face. "You're Rainbow Dash, right?" He asked, though obviously knowing the answer. "Yep!" She said, walking up to the door and sticking her hoof out to shake. "Nice to meet you." He said, shaking her hoof. His out-of-nature calmness was starting to scare me. Spark was never this relaxed. "Hey, Spark!" Spike greeted, popping out from behind Dash's head. Spark's prior calmness was suddenly turned to dust. "Spike! My man! What's up, you little fireball?" He greeted energetically. "Ah, not much," Spike said as he hopped off of Dash's back, "When I got back from the party last night, Twilight immediately got to work on that task from Princess Celestia, and she made so much noise, it kept me up all night! I got no sleep." "Oh shit, that sucks, bro. Is that what you barfed up during the dance off between Zecora and Applejack?" Spark asked. "Yep." Spike said. "Who won, by the way? That was pretty awesome." "Dance off?" I asked quietly. "I thought it was Zecora, but the judges said Applejack." He leaned close to Spike and covered one side of his mouth with a hoof. "If you ask me, I think they were just racist. That zebra's got some moves!" Spike nodded. "No doubt about that." Spark leaned back out and laughed. "Finally, someone with some sense! Man, I wish you could of stayed. The pie eating contest just wasn't the same without you." "Pie eating contest?" I asked a little quieter. "Aw! That sounds like it was awesome!" Spike said. "Almost as awesome as the water-color light show!" "Oh yeah, that was the greatest!" Spark agreed, giving Spike a high five. "What even is a water-color light show?" I asked even quieter. Spike yawned. "Man, I'm still exhausted. You mind if I sleep here for a bit? Twilight's still going crazy over that task and I won't be able to sleep at the library." "Oh yeah, sure, go ahead, dude." Spark stepped aside. "Just pick a spot and crash for a bit." "Thanks." Spike said, giving Spark a fist bump as he walked into the house and jumped into a loose pile of blankets and other assorted cloths. Spark turned back to Dash and I with a grin. "That little dude is so fucking awesome." "Spike? Awesome?" Dash asked. "I don't think I've ever heard those words in the same sentence." "Wow, way to be nice to your friend, Dash." I said. "Well, I mean, he's a great friend and all, but he's a bit of a dweeb to be honest." Dash said. "Nah, he's cool. For a baby dragon, anyway." Spark said. He turned to me. "Sorry for not telling you about the party. I didn't want you to miss a chance to get lai-la-la lose a date with Rainbow Dash!" He nervously said as a cover up. "Aw, well thanks for your consideration, Spark. I think I speak for us both when I say we're glad we got to spend time together." Dash said, turning to me and winking. I could feel a massive blush overcome my face. Spark put on a sly smile. "Anytime." "Okay, well anyway!" I cut in, changing the subject. "Is Blaze here?" "Yeah, he's passed out somewhere around here." Spark said, looking around behind him before turning back to us with a shrug. "Well, probably." "Speaking of that," I said. "Did you give Pinkie Pie alcohol?" "Uh, maybe a little, why?" Spark asked. "She was passed out on your front steps." I said. "What? But I walked her out the door last night." Spark said. "She must have passed out right after you shut the door." I said. "Sounds like Pinkie Pie." Rainbow Dash said. "Just for future reference, don't give Pinkie Pie alcohol again. She gets..." "Really fucking awesome." Spark finished. "She's a fucking party animal when she's drunk!" "Pretty much." Dash said. "Wait, you drink?" I asked Dash. "No, but I've been to parties with Pinkie before, and I know how she gets." Dash said. Wait, so ponies drink like it's a normal thing? I thought the idea would be foreign to them. You learn more everyday, I guess. "Yeah. Well anyways, Spark. You should probably finish walking your girlfriend home before you get back to the party." I said. "I'll keep that in mind." Spark said. "Oh, that's right, you and Pinkie are together." Dash said. "She really likes you." "Really?" Spark's face suddenly turned beet red. "Well that's-" "You better not break her heart, or so help me Celestia..." Dash suddenly got in Spark's face, causing him to cower down in fear. "I...uh..." He stammered. This was the first time I had ever witnessed true terror in the eyes of Spark. And it was hilarious! "Just remember, I'm watching you." Dash said, and backed away from him. "O-okay." Spark said. Apparently the only thing that can strike fear into a stone cold being like Spark is an indignant mare. "Perfect!" Dash said with a bright smile. "I'm sure you two will be great for each other." "I sure hope so, damn." Spark said. "It might mean the difference between life and death for me, holy shit." "And don't you forget it." Dash said with another smile. "I'm so glad you guys are getting along so well." I said as I watched all of that go down "I am too." Rainbow Dash said with an ironic grin. "It was nice meeting you, Spark." "It was okay meeting you, Rainbow Dash." Spark said with an equally wry smirk. "Well, we're gonna go, Spark." I said after their awkward closing. "Good luck cleaning all this up." Spark looked around. "Fuck. Forgot about the cleanup. If you see that faggot, Blaze around, tell him to come back here and help clean up this shit." "Will do." I said. "See you around." "Later, bitch." He said, and closed the door to start on the massive cleanup. I heard a barely audible "FUCK!" being shouted from inside, and Dash and I started on our way back into town. I turned to Dash as we walked through Ponyville. "Charming, right?" "Is that what they call it?" She said. "You don't like him, do you?" I asked. "Oh yeah, he's pretty cool." She said. "I just wanted to give him a hard time." "Well, you were pretty convincing." I said. "Thank you, thank you." Dash said, doing a fake curtsy. I laughed. "Maybe you should go into the acting business." "Now that's taking it a little too far." Dash said. "Next, you'll be telling me to sing in Broadway." "Well, I'm not saying you couldn't." I said. "Sure, that'll also be the day Pinkie stops partying." We shared a laugh together as we continued on our way through town. "So, what do you wanna do now?" I asked. "I don't know." Rainbow Dash said. "Wanna get some lunch? I'm pretty hungry." "Sure." I agreed. "How's Sugarcube Corner sound?" "Perfect." Dash smiled. "Let's go, Flashy Boy." "That's what I said!" Dash said as we paid for the bag of cupcakes and walked them out of the store. "If you're gonna go out in the rain, why even have a-" She suddenly stopped talking as we both gaped at the sky. It was night! "Wait, what?" I asked. "It was daylight, like, three minutes ago. What happened?" "I don't know." Dash said. "But it's definitely not normal." We looked around to see other ponies confused and talking about the strange phenomenon as well. "What happened to the sun?" One asked. "Maybe Princess Luna forgot that it's still daytime?" Another speculated. "Or maybe she's returning as Nightmare Moon to bring eternal night and EAT US ALL!!!" One familiar voice resounded. I turned toward the distressed voice to see that it was none other than Mira. Of course. "Calm down, everypony, it's not Nightmare Moon." Dash reassured. "I hope." She whispered back to me. "Then what is it?" One unicorn asked. "I don't know." Dash said. "But I'm sure whatever it is, it'll be back to normal in no time!" BOOM BOOM BOOM At that moment, the boom of thunder echoed through the entire town, and dark clouds suddenly appeared, blotting out the night sky. I heard several terrified screams from the nearby ponies as the thunder continued to roar through the air with no lightning or other apparent source of the sound. I looked next to me to see that Rainbow Dash had jumped in the air out of fear and now hovered high above me. "Or, maybe not." She said shakily. All of the ponies in the nearby area started stampeding in terror of the unknown, the resounding hoof beats of the frightened ponies resonated through town, though not nearly as loud as the thunder. What the hell is happening? "What is up with all of this?" I asked, flying up to her. "Everything was fine five minutes ago!" "I don't know!" Dash shouted over the constant booming of the thunder and the screaming ponies. "Do you think Twilight would have anything to do with it?" "She would be our best bet." I said. "Let's go find out!" > 31. A Strange Day Becomes Stranger > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Motherfucking...fuck." Spark said as he looked over the colossal mess that sat before him. There were random streamers, drink cups, plates of food, bits of leftover cake, paper towels, broken bottles, candy wrappers, some kind of fur, horseshoes, mangled furniture, and even a heap of old skin shed from some kind of reptile...thing. "How the fuck does that even happen?" Spark asked himself, pointing to the skin. He shook his head in anger and got started gathering the random trash strewn about the room into a maintainable pile. "Fucking party cleanup. Fucking people not fucking cleaning up after their damn selves. I should be fucking relaxing right now, not clEANING UP THEIR FUCKING MESS GODDAMMIT FUCK!!!" Spark's rant of anger slowly grew into a furious shout of rage. "Hey, do you mind? I'm trying to sleep over here." Spike groaned, resting somewhere in the huge mess that was Spark's house. "Sorry, Spike, I'm just fucking pissed the fuck off!" Spark stomped in anger. "Where the fuck is Blaze to help me with this shit? What the fuck could he possibly be doing?" After waiting a few moments for a response from Spike, Spark reluctantly started to get back to work. BOOM BOOM BOOM. Suddenly, there came a series of deafening thunder that shook the entire house. "What the fuck was that?" Spark said, stopping his work to look around the house. "Hey, I said quiet down over there!" Spike groaned again. "That wasn't me this time, asshole." Spark said, making his way to the window. "It came from outside." Spike stuck his head out from the pile of blankets he had himself wrapped in. "Outside? What could it be?" "What the..." Spike looked out the window to see...darkness? It was night. "Hey, Spike, come look at this." Spike slowly hopped out of the blankets and made his way over to the window. His tired eyes suddenly grew to the size of bowling balls when he saw the time of day. "Did I sleep for that long already?" Spark sighed. "No, idiot. It's still daytime, but it's night outside." "Was that sarcastic, or..?" Spike asked, confused. "Just come on and let's see what's going on." Spark said, dragging Spike outside. Pinkie Pie happily bounced around Sugarcube Corner, making sure everything was in order for the birthday party planned for this afternoon. Streamers: Check. Balloons: Check. Cake: Check. Punch: Check. Party favors: Check. Pin the tail on the pony: Check. It seemed she had gotten all she needed, and the pastry shop was ready for all the colts and fillies invited to party! Pinkie suddenly stopped bouncing in midair and gasped from pure horror and disgust. She had forgotten the chairs for musical chairs! How could she possibly forget that? The name of the game is musical chairs! Oh well, no worries. She'll just go get some from the- WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!! Pinkie suddenly stopped in her tracks. Her Pinkie sense was tingling! But...this was a new one. Pinkie's fur started standing up on her legs, and she could feel her mane get frizzy. What does this mean? BOOM BOOM BOOM Whoa! It means thunder! Cool! New Pinkie Sense! Now to get those chairs. Pinkie happily bounced outside, only to be greeted with screaming ponies and dark skies. She suddenly stopped and looked up, her ears flat against her head. "I guess it also means night time?" She was officially confused. This had never happened before. "Hmm. I wonder if Twilight...might have some chairs! I'll go check!" And with that, Pinkie started leisurely bouncing toward Twilight's library. Applejack wiped the sweat from her brow as she sat back, admiring her work. Nearly half of the trees in the orchard had been bucked, and two weeks ahead of schedule, too! She was ready for a much needed break, possibly involving some ice cold lemonade and a few hours of sleep. Applejack loved being a farm pony and all, but sometimes the work got to her, and she was exhausted. She grinned to herself. "I bet Big Macintosh'd downright jealous if I told him I did this all by myself." She chuckled. "Ah, well. He needs the rest. Besides, I don't mind doin' all this apple buckin'. Just gets me more experience I can use later in life. In fact-" Applejack suddenly stopped in her tracks when a shroud of darkness cascaded over the entire orchard, sending confusion through her body. "What the?" She looked to the sky. It was...night? BOOM BOOM BOOM Applejack suddenly jumped back in surprise. "What the hay was that?" She looked around. It sounded like thunder, but there was no storm. Just a cloudy night sky, which was odd on its own. What is this? More thunder pounded through the sky, and Applejack started galloping toward the farm. "I'll bet anything this is Twilight's doin', what with how she scurried outta that party so fast last night. I better make sure everypony's alright, then off to Twilight's. She's gotta know what's going on." Weave, stitch, repeat. Weave, stitch, repeat. Weave, stitch, repeat. Rarity thought as she was finishing up her latest ensemble of dresses. Yes, these would do perfectly for her special customer. Just a few finishing touches and they'll be ready for her. She walked over to her chest of sequins to see what she could do to make them the best they could be. Hmm, maybe some flash sequins would do the trick. Flash usually works. Especially the white ones. They usually... Rarity suddenly stopped and fell back onto her haunches with tears threatening to moisten her eyes. Oh, who was she kidding? She looked around at her entire ensemble. All the headdresses were decorated with the same beautiful crimson and black mohawk she had fallen in love with. The entirety of the dresses were white with small, red designs twisting through them. Even the crest on the chest was of that dashing cutie mark. She hadn't said anything about it when they last met, but his new cutie mark was simply divine. Everything about him was. Rarity pounded her hooves on the ground and pouted. Oh, how did Rainbow Dash win him over and she didn't? She was certain she was much more charming than Rainbow Dash. Not to mention more attractive, if she did say so herself. Maybe it was the athleticism? Or maybe he only likes other pegasi, and she's just a...unicorn. Rarity's ears dropped to the sides of her head. "I wish so badly to be in Rainbow Dash's position right now. I wonder how great it must be." She sighed and stood up, slowly walking back over to the dresses. "I suppose it's just not meant to be..." BOOM BOOM BOOM A sudden crash of thunder caught her off guard, bringing her out of her state of gloominess. "That's strange." She said, making her way over to the window. "How could it be raining? It's not possible for the weather ponies to change the weather from clear to stormy that quickly." She pushed the curtains aside and looked out at the sky, her jaw dropping at the site of a dark night sky slowly being shrouded by pitch-black clouds. "Oh, my. That is not good at all." Rarity quickly burst through the door and out into the town, only to be surrounded by screaming ponies. She observed the dark sky once more, the thunder still roaring through the sky. 'If anypony knows what's happening around her, it has to be Twilight." She said to herself. She started galloping toward the library. Hmm, maybe the outcome of all this will involve me somehow switching with Rainbow Dash. Rarity joked to herself with a smile. Oh, Rarity, don't be ridiculous. Those kinds of things only happen in works of fiction. It couldn't actually happen. Could it? "Thank you so much for helping me, Blaze." Fluttershy smiled brightly at Blaze, who was finishing up putting the last bit of animal food out for the squirrels to graze on. "No problem, Fluttershy." Blaze smiled back at her as he put the bag on the ground. "Anytime you need anything, just go ahead and ask. I'd love to help you." Fluttershy walked over to Blaze and gave him a small peck on the cheek, causing them both to blush madly. "You're so sweet." "Uh, Th-thanks." Blaze stuttered. He still hadn't gotten used to those angelic lips that paralyzed him every time. Fluttershy giggled. "Are you okay? Do you want me to kiss it better?" She teased. She had figured out last night after they had come back from the party to her cottage that her soft kisses were like Blaze's kryptonite, and she loved to use them as weapons to her advantage. She was glad she had gotten brave enough to kiss him first last night. Who knew she had that kind of effect on him? "Uh, well, I wouldn't mind it." Blaze said, still with a bright blush and an awkward smile. They both leaned in for another kiss. Their lips were inches from each other when- BOOM BOOM BOOM "Yeep!" Fluttershy squeaked as she jumped back into Blaze's arms, who was equally as frightened of the sudden booms. "Wh-what was that?" She asked shakily. "I-I don't know." Blaze said, looking around in fear. Fluttershy nestled herself further into his arms, which calmed him down some. It was like holding a stuffed animal during a thunderstorm. Blaze suddenly shook his head. No, I need to be brave. I'm the stallion here, I shouldn't be scared. He thought to himself. But whatever all that thunder is, is really scary... He shook his head once more. No, I can do this. He cleared his throat. "I'll go outside and see what it is." What did I just say? He let Fluttershy go gently back to the ground. "Oh, be careful, there's no telling what could be out there. That's not normal thunder." Blaze gulped. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing." He said, though he wasn't quite sure of his words. He slowly walked up to the door and opened it. Expecting some kind of mega apocalypse behind the door, he jumped back with his hooves over his eyes. "Oh my! What is it?" Fluttershy asked worriedly. He uncovered his eyes and looked back to Fluttershy. "Oh, uh, nothing yet." He laughed nervously, and slowly stepped out the door way and looked to the sky. He was more confused than scared. "What's out there?" Fluttershy asked from inside the cottage. "Uh, night." Blaze replied. "And really dark clouds. And thunder. Lots of thunder." Fluttershy peeked her head out the door and looked up to the sky to see what he was talking about. "Oh, my." She said. "This is odd." "No kidding." Blaze said over another roar of thunder. "What do you think it could be?" "I don't know," She said, walking over to Blaze. "But whenever strange things like this happen, Twilight usually knows what's going on. Maybe we should check with her." "Sounds like a plan." Blaze said. "We better hurry, though. There's no telling what could happen if we don't get there soon." "You're right!" Fluttershy gasped. "They might need to use the Elements of Harmony, and I have to be there or it won't work!" "Then we better go." Blaze said, taking her hoof. "We could save the world!" Fluttershy giggled. "Even in situations like this, you still manage to make me smile, Blaze. Let's go." "This is insane!" I said as Rainbow Dash and I soared through town, trying to navigate through the relentless wind and constant booming that rang through our ears. The skies had gotten much worse since earlier; the wind had become a force to be reckoned with, the skies were now a constant shade of black, and the continuous roaring of thunder had gotten much louder. Things were starting to become a little frightening. "Don't worry, we're almost out of it!" Dash shouted. "Look! There it is!" Dash pointed to the library. "Holy crap." I said to myself. The entire library was emanating a dark purple glow, and the windows were filled with a blinding light. "That doesn't look too good!" Dash shouted. "Come on, we need to hurry!" She said, diving down toward the library as I followed. We landed in front of the library to see Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Blaze standing outside. "Rainbow Dash! Flash! Do you guys know what the hay is goin' on here?" Applejack said as we walked over to them. "I was about to ask you guys the same thing! What's up with all this?" Dash shouted over the thunder. "I wish we knew!" Applejack said. "But this here purple thing around the library is keepin' us out!" "I've tried to use my magic to get rid of it." Rarity said, demonstrating by casting a blue beam at the force field. "But nothing seems to work." "I tried telling her I need chairs for a party!" Pinkie Pie said. "But she won't open the door!" "And your friend, Blaze over there learned the hard way that you can't just run into the thing." Applejack said, pointing to Blaze, who had a black burn mark on the end of his hoof, with Fluttershy gingerly wrapping it with a bandage. "Oh, Blaze." I sighed. "Well, how are we supposed to get in? What if Twilight's hurt in there or something?" "I'm not sure." Applejack said. "The only thing we can do is wait and see." "That doesn't sound like a good idea." Rainbow Dash said. "I'll say." Pinkie Pie agreed. "I need these chairs by this afternoon!" "Well, it's the only one we have, I'm afraid." Rarity said, trying to console Pinkie. "Where's Spark in all this?" Blaze asked as him and Fluttershy joined us. "Last time I saw him, he was at the house with Spike." I said. "Spike! Maybe he knows how to get in!" Rainbow Dash said. "Now all we have to do is find him." I sighed. "Yeah, and who knows where-" "HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!" "Never mind." I said, turning toward the loud voice that just pierced the roars of thunder. Sure enough, there was Spark and Spike making their way towards us. "Hi, Sparky!" Pinkie Pie waved happily. Spark responded with a friendly nod as him and Spike joined us. "Now, does anyone have any idea what the fuck is going on here?" "Now, wait just a minute there, partner. Who the hay are you?" Applejack asked Spark. Spark turned toward her. "The name's Spark. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Now, will someone please answer my goddamn question?" He looked around at everypony for answers. "Well, we don't rightly know what's goin' on." Applejack said. "All we know is that Twilight's the one causin' it, and-" "Then let's get the fuck in there!" Spark yelled, charging the library. "No, wait! It's-" Everypony yelled, trying to stop him, but it was too late. Spark stuck his hoof out like a running back about to make a touchdown as he charged the library. The moment his hoof came in contact with the force field, a purple light suddenly sparked brightly, and he was violently thrown to his back. He skidded away a good ten feet before coming to a complete halt. Everypony was completely silent as they all look back to Spark. He was clutching his hoof as if he'd never let go, and there was one single tear in his eye that expressed his sudden pain. The fact that he wasn't screaming at the top of his lungs amazed me- "SON OF A FUCKING WHORE MUNCHER BITCH MONKEY ASS WIPE SHIT STAIN FUCKER BITCH SHIT FUCKING GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT CUNT BIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!!" His horn glowed a strong, resonant blue as he roared the most vulgar statement I had ever heard at the top of his lungs. The entire ground we stood on started to shake, and a large beam of magic shot out of his horn and into the purple force field. As his ranting went on, the beam of magic completely engulfed the library, overpowering the purple aura and constricting it down, forcing the force field to become smaller and smaller until it was completely controlled by Spark's magic. It was no more than a small remnant of what it used to be. His rage continued to take down the force field until it was wrapped thinly around the library. It looked like it would budge any second! "FUCK!!!" Spark finished, slamming his hooves on the ground, causing his magic to push one last time, completely destroying the purple shield that shrouded the library. It was finally free! Everypony looked to the library and back to the writhing Spark in disbelief. "Spark..." I started. "That was..." "Totally awesome!!!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Did you see the way he went all like, 'AHHHH', and then his horn went all, 'BYOOOSH', and then it covered the purple thing, and now it's gone! You didn't tell me you were a wizard, Sparky!" She smiled brightly as she stood over Spark. He winced and opened his eyes to see the library back to normal. "What? What the fuck happened?" Pinkie sighed. "Remember? You went all like, 'AHHHH', and then your horn went all like, 'BYOOOSH', and then-" "Okay, Pinkie, that's enough." Rainbow Dash said, covering Pinkie's mouth with her hoof. "The real question is, how did you do that?" Spark looked up at Dash as she let go of Pinkie, over to me, Blaze and Fluttershy, over to Rarity, Applejack, and Spike, then back to Dash. "I have no fucking idea." He chuckled. "But it was fucking sweet." Dash rolled her eyes. "Alright, then." She turned back to everypony. "Come on, guys, we need go see what all this is about!" And with that, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Spike all galloped into the library to go see Twilight. Meanwhile, Blaze and I walked over to Spark. "You okay, dude?" I asked him. "Fuck no, that hurt like a bitch." He said, clutching his hoof. "But I should be alright." "So, what was that about magic is stupid?" Blaze asked. "Eh." Spark said. "I might just take up those magic lessons after all. If I can do that when I'm pissed, just think of what I can do when-" CRAAAAACKKK!!! Suddenly, Spark was cut off by a...rip? No, no it wasn't just Spark--everything was suddenly cut off from existence by some kind of deafening crack that ripped the sound and sight all other sense away from me, sending me into a spiral of blinding light. I had no perception of time as I seemed to just fly around aimlessly in some kind of white room, though I couldn't see it. It was the strangest and most disorienting experience of my entire life. I had absolutely no idea what was happening; it felt like reality had just...washed away from my body. What ever was happening, I knew the outcome couldn't be good. This entire day had been one big mosh pit of 'not good'. What happened in the library? Where were Blaze and Spark during this? What did Twilight do? > 32. And Then There Were Wings > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Gah!" I suddenly bolted straight up in bed in a cold sweat, my heart pounding faster than Pinkie with caffeine. I immediately noticed that I wasn't in the cloud bed I had awoken in for the past week, and I started to have a panic attack. I desperately grasped my snout and looked down to my hooves. I sighed as a wave of relief washed over me, mellowing my panic down to almost nothing. Thank God, I'm still a pony. Now... where am I? "Is something the matter, dear?" I heard a familiar pompous voice ask from behind me. My heart sunk when a sickening thought came to my mind. I looked down next to me, the sight confirming my fears. ... ... In bed, looking up at me with loving, yet concerned eyes... was Rarity. What. The hell. Did Twilight. Do. "Hmm? Rarity said, still waiting for an answer. "Uh, nothing, nothing." I said, though everything was far from alright. "Are you sure, dear?" Rarity asked, sitting up in the bed to look at me, putting a hoof on my shoulder. "You seem a bit tense." I shrugged off her gesture. "No, I'm fine. I promise." I said with a little bit more hostility than intended. She gave me one last concerned look, then got up and out of bed. "Well, alright. But please, darling, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask." "Yeah, thanks." I said under my breath as I watched her walk out of the bedroom in long, proper strides. Right before she was out of sight, I noticed something extremely peculiar about her. More specifically, her flank. Was that... Rainbow Dash's cutie mark? Okay, now today made absolutely no sense whatsoever. I woke up in a bed with Rarity, who apparently thinks we're together, and on top of all that, she has Rainbow Dash's cutie mark instead of her signature triple diamonds. What ever is going on here, I want answers. I stretched and got out of bed. Upon inspection of the room, I noticed an absence of dresses and mannequins that should have been littering Rarity's room. I certainly wasn't at the Carousel Boutique. I looked out a nearby window, luckily recognizing the surrounding area as Ponyville. At least I'm still in Ponyville, and not in some random city around Equestria. I thought, looking on the bright side of all this. I started making my way out of the bedroom, when a small filly suddenly galloped past the door and down the hall, stopping me in my tracks. "Sorry, Flash!" Sweetie Belle sounded back to me as she continued on her way down the hall. That filly was obviously on a mission. Or just extremely excited for breakfast, from the aroma that was wafting in from what I assumed was the kitchen. I decided to listen to my gut, and I followed the delightful smell through the house. I eventually wound up in the kitchen, where I saw Rarity at the stove making some eggs, with Sweetie Belle hopping around impatiently at her hooves. "Come on, come on, is it done yet? I'm starving!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed. "Now Sweetie," Rarity consoled. "It'll be no good if it's not cooked properly." "UGGGHHHH!" Sweetie Belle groaned, running around in a small circle before arriving back at her original position. Rarity just let out a small chuckle and continued cooking. I walked in and looked around the kitchen. It looked like any other kitchen you might expect; a sink, a stove and oven, a refrigerator, and counter tops to pull it all together. Rarity heard my hoof steps and turned around to greet me with a bright smile. "Hello, Flash. Are you feeling hungry for a bit of breakfast?" She asked, still smiling. "Uh, no thanks. I'm good." I said. Rarity shrugged. "Suit yourself, I suppose." "Hurray!" Sweetie Belle cheered. "More for me!" "Lucky you." Rarity said to Sweetie Belle. "It's ready!" "Oh boy!" Sweetie Belle almost tripped over herself as she shoved Rarity out of the way to make herself a plate. "It's not going anywhere." Rarity said sarcastically with a chuckle. She turned to me with a light blush. "So, how is your morning so far, dear?" "Good, I guess." I said a little awkwardly. I was not at all used to Rarity calling me 'dear'. "Actually, I wanted to ask you some questions, Rarity." "Hmm, odd way to start off the morning, but sure." Rarity agreed. "What would you like to know?" "Well for starters," I began, "Why do you have Rainbow Dash's cutie mark?" "Why, what ever do you mean?" She asked, looking down at the rainbow lightning bolt that adorned her flank. "I've always had this cutie mark. Are you absolutely sure you're feeling alright?" "Not so much, actually." I said too quietly for Rarity to hear. "Well, what happened yesterday with Twilight?" "I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about." She said. "You know," I started. "The whole thing with the sky turning black with the clouds, and all the thunder, and then you guys all went into the library to check on Twilight and everything just... exploded or something?" As I was saying it, I realized I sounded like a lunatic. "What?" Rarity asked, astonished. "You must have been dreaming. All we did yesterday was spend the day with Rainbow Dash and your friend, Blaze." "Wait, Blaze and Rainbow Dash?" I asked. Something was seriously, seriously wrong here. "Well, of course." She said. "Do you not remember any of this?" "No," I said. "I don't." "That's very strange indeed." Rarity said. "Maybe if we go to Twilight, she'll what's going on with you." Or maybe she'll know what's going on with this entire ordeal. "Sounds like a good idea." I said. "Wonderful." Rarity smiled. "We'll go there soon. First, I must help to set the weather for today, then we'll be off!" My jaw suddenly dropped. "You? Weather pony? What?" "Of course!" She sounded offended. "Your memory must really be gone. I've always been a weather pony." "Well, uh, alright." I said. "Let's go make the weather so we can find Twilight." "Perfect!" Rarity smiled, making her way to the front door. "Sweetie, White Flash and I are going out, don't get into too much trouble while we're gone!" "UMBKGAH!" Sweetie Belle replied with a mouthful of food. Rarity just laughed and led the way out into Ponyville. From all of the weird stuff that had happened since I had woken up, I half expected all of the ponies to be walking upside down or some other kind of random oddity. Luckily, that wasn't the case; everypony was walking around, happy as can be, as if yesterday's events had never happened and this was just another day. Though, I knew that definitely wasn't the case. As I followed Rarity further into town, I looked around to see if anything else was out of place, such as misplaced houses or unfamiliar ponies. I didn't see anything odd, but I knew there had to be something else going on. "Alright, dear, I'm still not the best with this whole weather thing, but I do try my hardest." Rarity said as we got near the center of town. "Let's see what I can do." A bright blue aura surrounded her horn, and her face showed complete concentration as I watched the clouds above us start to move. I was surprised at first. I had never seen a unicorn manipulate the clouds. I don't know why it was any different than pegasi doing it, it just looked strange. I watched as all the dark cloud in the sky slowly started morphing into perfect squares and floating towards each other to form a strange, yet intricate pattern in the sky. As I watched this all take place, I could have sworn I heard some kind of unnecessary, broadway singing in the distance, but I was too captivated by the sight before me to pay much attention. "Rarity, I don't know if..." I started. "If what?" She asked. "Doesn't it look divine? It perfectly brings the scenery together, don't you think?" "Uh, sure," I lied. "But I don't think this is how weather is supposed to be." "Hmm, perhaps you are right." Rarity agreed. She focused in on one particular dark cloud. "Maybe a bit of rain over here?" Her horn started glowing once more, and the 'bit of rain' she was talking about was more of a full on downpour, emptying all of the water from the cloud at once. "Rainbow Dash, that's not funny!" I heard a familiar, exasperated voice shout from under the cloud. Wait, was that who I think it is? "Terribly sorry darling," Rarity apologized. "I'm afraid I'm not good with the thundery ones." I heard a sudden gasp from the water victim. "Something tells me everything is not going to be fine." I looked away from the sky to confirm my suspicions. There, with an extremely shocked look on her face, stood Twilight Sparkle. Thank God, it's Twilight! She galloped over to Rarity and I as Rarity continued shaping the skies. "What are you doing?" She asked. "What happened to your cutie mark?" "What ever do you mean, Twilight?" She asked. "Flash said the same thing earlier. I'm simply doing what I've done since the day it first appeared. I don't know why it's so strange to you two all of a sudden." I looked to Twilight. "Do you know what's going on here?" "I... I don't know." She turned back to Rarity, who was still arranging the clouds. "Doesn't my sky look fabulous?" She asked as she admired her work. The only response she got was the angry ranting of the disgruntled ponies around us. "Too last season?" She asked. "Where is Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked. "Why isn't she handling this?" "I could ask the same thing." I said. "I just woke up this morning next to Rarity, and I have no clue how I got there." "What do you mean you don't know how you got there?" Twilight asked. "Well, last thing I remember, I was randomly tumbling through some kind of white void forever, then I just randomly woke up with Rarity." "Wait a second." Twilight said. "Normally you would have woken up with Rainbow Dash, since you two live together, but now Rarity has her cutie mark. Do you think maybe Rainbow Dash has some other cutie mark too?" I just shrugged. "You tell me. You're the one that caused all this." "What do you mean?" Twilight asked, genuinely confused. "Seriously? Yesterday you were doing some kind of really weird magic stuff that caused the sky to go black, and extremely loud thunder to roar through the sky. Not to mention the force field you had around the library. You don't remember any of that?" I asked. "I... no. I don't." Twilight said with a puzzled look. I sighed. "Well, at least I'm not the only one here that knows something is wrong. We should find Rainbow Dash and see if we can fix the sky for now." "Oh, you're looking for Rainbow Dash, you say?" Rarity asked, taking a short break from the sky, mostly because the townsponies were begging her to stop. "You should find her at her cottage." "Her...cottage?" Twilight asked. "Well, of course." Rarity said, as if Twilight were insane. "You know, the cottage by the river?" "Isn't that Fluttershy's cottage?" I asked Twilight. "It is." Twilight confirmed. She turned to Rarity. "We're going to find Rainbow Dash, Rarity. But good luck on your...sky." "Thank you, darling. I think it's coming together nicely." Rarity said with a proud smile. "Right..." Twilight said, starting on her way toward the dirt road that led to Fluttershy's, motioning for me to follow. I trailed close behind her as she led the way to where we would hopefully find Rainbow Dash. Well, at least Twilight knows something is up, too. I thought. Hopefully we can fix this and get everything back to normal. Hopefully. "I still don't understand how this could be." Twilight said to me as we approached the familiar, friendly-looking cottage. "Rarity with Rainbow Dash's cutie mark. And then she tells us this is Rainbow Dash's cottage." I shook my head. "Something really strange is going on here." As we finally made our way up to the front door, Twilight knocked and we waited patiently for an answer. In no time at all, there came Rainbow Dash, shyly peeking out of the half open door, as if some kind of secret agency were after her. "Hey, guys." She said timidly, avoiding eye contact with either of us. "Rainbow Dash, why is Rarity doing your job?" Twilight asked. Rainbow Dash was poised to answer, but was suddenly cut off by a series of loud, wild noises coming from inside the cottage. She quickly bolted inside, leaving us at the doorstep. "And what in Equestria is going on in-" Twilight opened the front door, revealing dozens of wild, untamed animals running aimlessly around the house. "...here?" "What the?" I said, taking in the strange sight. There were squirrels hanging from the ceiling, bunnies hopping off the walls, Blaze getting chased by rabid bears, and- Wait, Blaze getting chased by rabid bears? "Help meeee!" Screamed a frantic Blaze as he galloped around the room in an effort to lose the bears. He eventually lost then when he ran through a group of fighting raccoons, where the angry bears took up a new chase with the masked critters. Blaze collapsed on the floor with a sigh of relief. He looked up to see Twilight and me, and he scrambled to his feet to get to us. "Flash! Twilight! Do you guys know what's going on here?" "We have no idea." I said. "Wait, what cutie mark does Rainbow Dash have?" We all looked to Rainbow Dash, who was attempting to appease the rioting animals. Sure enough, her cutie mark was that of three pink butterflies fluttering peacefully. Seeing she was making no progress, she turned to us with a sad frown. "These animals don't listen." She started in a sing-songy voice. "No, not one little bit. They run around out of control and throw their hissy fits. It's up to me to stop them, 'cause plainly you can see, it's got to be my destiny!" She looked to her flank. "And it's what my cutie mark is telling me." Blaze, Twilight, and I all looked to each other with concern. "This is bizarre." Twilight said. "How could Rarity have Rainbow Dash's cutie mark, and Rainbow Dash have Fluttershy's cutie mark?" "Wait, you don't think Fluttershy would..?" I didn't even have to finish my sentence before Blaze and Twilight knew what I was going to say, and we rushed on our way to where we would hopefully find Fluttershy. Twilight, Blaze, and I arrived shortly at Sugarcube Corner, where sure enough, we found Fluttershy attempting to entertain the ponies around her. "Oh, no. This can't be good." Twilight said as she witnessed Fluttershy's poor attempt at making a balloon animal. As soon as she blew it up, it immediately lost all air and stuttered around the room. Her face turned bright red and she put on a nervous smile as the ponies crowding around her began to become restless. "Fluttershy? What are you doing here?" Blaze asked. She looked to him briefly, then back to the crowd of bored ponies waiting for amusement of any kind. "I try to keep them laughing, put a smile upon their face," She started singing, putting a fake mustache and glasses on, "but no matter what I try it seems a bit of a disgrace. I have to entertain them, it's there for all to see. But it has to be my destiny," She looked to her cutie mark, "and it's what my cutie mark is telling me." Twilight, Blaze, and I all looked at each other. "Hey, she was singing in the same tune as Rainbow Dash." Blaze commented. "Who cares about the tune?" I said. "We need to figure out what's going on here." "Agreed." Twilight said. "We need to find the others to see if we can find anything." We all nodded in agreement and headed out to our next destination. "I don't care much for pickin' fruit," Pinkie began singing as she faltered clumsily around Sweet Apple Acres, "and plowin' fields ain't such a hoot. No matter what I try I cannot fix this busted water chute!" The water pipe she sat on broke and she fell to the ground. "I've got so many chores to do, it's no fun being me. But it has to be my destiny." She looked to her mismatched cutie mark. "'Cause it's what my cutie mark is telling me." Twilight looked to me. "Well, it looks like there's a pattern starting here." She said. "Now where's Applejack?" "I bet I know." Blaze said, already trotting off. "Follow me." We arrived at Carousel Boutique, where we witnessed Applejack struggling at trying to create some kind of dress, though it was so mangled and torn it was hard to tell what exactly it was. She saw us walk in and started her lament. "Looky here at what I've made, I think that it's a dress." She sang, holding up a poorly stitched cloth for us to see. "I know it doesn't look like much, I'm under some distress." She looked at us in desperation. "Could y'all give me a hand here, and help me fix this mess? My destiny is not pretty," She looked to her flank. "but it's what my cutie mark is telling me." "All that's left is Rarity." Blaze said. "We should go check on her again and see if she's fixed anything with the sky." I suggested. Without another word, we all headed out of Carousel Boutique to find Rarity. We immediately knew everything was worse once we stepped outside. Half of the clouds in the sky were a very dark gray, and swirling erratically around in unpredictable spirals, while the other half was creating random snow, rain, and other assortments of strange weather. We looked ahead to see another crowd of angry ponies gathered around Rarity as she frantically worked at the sky. "I'm in love with weather patterns, but the others have concerns." She chorused as we galloped over to her. "For I just gave them frostbite over top of their sunburns." The clouds around us all simultaneously dropped several feet of snow onto the ground. "I have to keep on trying, for everyone can see, it's got to be," "It's got to be," "My destiny," "My destiny," "And it's what my cutie mark, it's what my cutie mark, yes it's what my cutie mark is telling me!" Suddenly, five familiar voices joined in to finally finish the repetitive song that had been sung throughout the day. Twilight looked to Blaze and I with pure distress. "This is bad, this is very, very bad!" She said, stepping back and forth with all of her hooves. "I'll say," Blaze agreed. "Where did those other voices come from?" I lightly hit Blaze over the head. "Come on, this is serious." I scolded. He just gave me a 'what did I do?' look as he rubbed his head. "Do you know what the problem could be, Twilight?" I asked her. "Yes, I know exactly what it is." She said, still frantic. "We need to get to the library." She quickly galloped away without a warning. "Hey, wait up!" I yelled, following her down the street. "But seriously though, why all the singing?" Blaze asked as he tailed after me. Shortly after, we arrived at the library, where Twilight immediately started delving through random assortments of books for an answer to a question Blaze and I didn't know yet. "So, what's the problem?" I asked as she flipped through book after book, "And how can we fix it?" She looked up to Blaze and I. "Last night, during yours and Spark's party," She nodded to Blaze, "I got a special delivery from Princess Celestia." "So that was why you left early." Blaze said. Twilight nodded. "The princess sent me a book with a letter telling me that it was an ancient, unfinished masterpiece made by Starswirl the Bearded. He was never able to get it right, and thus abandoned it, so she believed in me to understand and rewrite it. I cast the spell so I could find out what it was, but nothing seemed to happen..." She trailed off for a moment before looking to us with sudden panic. "But now I know something did happen!" She walked over to a glass case filled with multicolored gem necklaces that I seemed to know from somewhere. "The spell has changed the Elements of Harmony!" The Elements of Harmony! I thought. Wait, since when does Twilight have them? I thought they were locked up or something? "That must be why their cutie marks are all wrong!" Twilight finished with a hoof to her chin. "Well, can't you cast a counter-spell or something?" Blaze asked as Twilight flipped through the large book given to her by the princess. She continued to flip through a few more pages before looking to him. "There is no counter-spell!" She said as she went back to the book. "None of the spells I know would help us! Their true selves have been altered, and I can't just change them." Her frantic flipping slowed to a casual searching until she finally dropped the book in defeat. She let out a sigh and slowly made her way over to the stairs as she looked to the ground solemnly. Blaze and I looked to each other before I spoke up. "There has to be something you can do." I said, stopping her halfway up the stairs. "No spell can undo it." She said, turning to me with tears brimming her eyes. "They're not who their meant to be anymore. Their destinies are now changed." She turned back to the stairs as she slowly continued to scale them. "And it's all my fault." I looked to Blaze with an unsure expression. "Well, what do we do now? Our only hope of getting everything back to normal is giving up. Isn't she supposed to be the one that always manages to fix everything?" "Do you hear a piano?" Blaze asked, obviously not listening to a word I said. "Seriously, Blaze!" I was beginning to become very agitated. "We really need to... wait, I do." I stopped and lifted my ear to hear the strange, disembodied piano that seemed to be playing from nowhere. I listened as the notes seemed to float peacefully through the air and upstairs, where I suddenly heard more singing. "I have to find a way, to make this all okay. I can't believe this small mistake, could've caused so much heartache. Oh why, oh why? Losing promise, I don't know what to do. Seeking answers, I fear I won't get through to you. Oh why, oh why?" I heard beautiful singing coming from upstairs, ending on a sad note. "Wow..." I started. "That was-" "Seriously! What is with all the singing?" Blaze interrupted. "If this was an episode, I'd probably stop watching by now, all the songs are getting annoying!" I looked to Blaze scornfully. "Hey, at least it's good songs." I said. I stopped for a moment. Wait, what if this is an episode? It has to be; all of this uncalled for singing doesn't just happen at random. Maybe they came out with new ones I haven't seen yet? I shook my head, bringing myself back to reality. I heard gentle sobbing coming from upstairs, and I turned to Blaze. "Should we go up there?" Blaze nodded, serious for the first time today, and we made our way upstairs where we shortly found Twilight laying on her bed with her face in her hooves. I walked up to her and stayed silent for a few more moments before I could come up with some kind of inspiring, meaningful thing to say to her. "You can't just give up, Twilight." Was all I could come up with in that short time. What a motivation. She looked up to me with tear streaked cheeks. "What else can I do?" She asked with a quiet sniffle. "Because of me, their lives are changed forever, their destinies are changed forever, and they have no idea. And there's not a thing I can do about it." She began to silently weep once more. I looked to the ground with a discouraged state of mind. If Twilight of all ponies is giving up on this, maybe there is no way to fix all this. What if this is it? "Well," Blaze suddenly let out a frustrated sigh. This outburst grabbed both mine and Twilight's attention. "You can't give up, Twilight. What ever is happening, you can fix it. I know you can." He looked to me. "We know you can. These are your friends. They should mean more to you than anything. If that's not enough reason to not just give up, then we better get ready for a lot of cold summers and arid winters," He pointed to the window where the unpredictable weather raged outside. "Because right now we have a fashion diva trying to make patterns in the freaking sky, and no pony is doing a thing about it." My jaw was left wide open. What the hell had gotten into Blaze? Twilight looked up with a hopeful smile. "You know," She started, jumping off of her bed. "You're right, Blaze." She trotted downstairs, Blaze and I following her in hopes that she'd found out what to do. She walked up to the fireplace, where a portrait of a happy Twilight and the rest of the mane six hung. She looked to picture, a smile starting to form across her previously gloomy face. "They mean more to me than anything. My friends." I was about to congratulate Blaze on motivating Twilight, but a sudden purple aura caught me off guard. I looked over to see an impossibly bright purple light engulfing Twilight for what felt like forever, but I know it only lasted a few short moments. Eventually, the light faded, and she looked back to Blaze and I with a bright smile that gave the strange light a run for its money. "I've got it, guys! I know what to do!" She said happily. "You do?" Blaze and I simultaneously asked. She nodded quickly and cantered upstairs, where she came back a few moments later with some kind of box. She brought it to the glass case that housed the Elements of Harmony and packed them away into the large box. "I may not be able to remind them of who they are, but I can show them what they mean to each other. They'll find the part of themselves that's been lost so they can help the friend they care about so much!" She said, already on her way out the door. "Come on, guys!" She galloped away, leaving Blaze and I alone. "Do you know what-?" I started. "Not a clue." Blaze said, already knowing my question. "Let's go." As we followed Twilight blindly through Ponyville, we eventually came up to a discouraged Fluttershy sadly giving a hot air balloon pilot some money. "Fluttershy, wait!" Twilight stopped her as we ran up to her. "Oh, hey, Twilight." Fluttershy said sadly. "Where are you going?" Twilight asked. "I'm moving back to Cloudsdale." She said. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Blaze go into panic mode. "I don't know what's wrong, but I can't seem to make anypony laugh." She brought up a whoopie cushion and squeezed it lightly, letting off a weak pfft. "HAHAHAHA!!!" Blaze suddenly started rolling on the ground laughing hysterically. "Oh my gosh, that was hilarious!" He continued to laugh for a few more moments to add to the effect before finally getting up and wiping one eye with his hoof. "You made me laugh! You definitely shouldn't leave." He said. Blaze was really worried about Fluttershy leaving. Twilight and I looked to each other then back to Fluttershy. "Before you go," Twilight started, "I was wondering if you might be willing to help Rainbow Dash. She's really struggling with her animals." "But..." Fluttershy said, stroking her mane nervously. "I don't really know anything about animals." "Oh, dear Lord." Blaze said out of disbelief. Twilight glared at Blaze briefly before turning back to Fluttershy. "But you do know something about Rainbow Dash." She said with a smirk. I could see the gears turning in Fluttershy's head as she replied. "I... know that she's a true friend," She said, suddenly calming her nerves and looking up at us with confidence. "And I'll do anything I can to help her." "Great!" Twilight smiled. "So you'll help?" "Absolutely." Fluttershy smiled back. "Wonderful! Let's-" "So, just to be clear," Blaze suddenly interrupted the lazy transition to the next setting. "You're not leaving as of right now, right?" "Well..." Fluttershy started. "I suppose I-" "Thank God!" Blaze said, not wanting to face her saying anything other than 'yes', "Let's go!" Shortly after, we arrived at the cottage where we heard the racket of raging animals practically pounding down the wooden door, and a muffled, "Help!" "Rainbow Dash!" Twilight shouted from outside. "I'm in here!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Without a moment's hesitation, Twilight busted the door open to reveal the random varieties of animals prancing around a helpless Rainbow Dash as she sat in a cauldron as if she were some kind of stew. What the hell? "Help! I'm trapped!" She yelled as the animals continued to dance around her. "Hurry, Twilight!" Fluttershy said. "Can't you do some sort of spell to get her out?" "No." Twilight said, nodding her head. "Fluttershy, you're the only one that can help. Rainbow Dash needs you!" Fluttershy looked to her and gave her a weak nod before going out into the fray of insane animals. "Um, hello?" She said in her usual quiet voice as she walked through the animalistic battlefield. "Little woodland creatures?" Her eyes suddenly got wide as a bear ran past her. She looked down to the smaller creatures. "Now, I know that you're all very upset, and feel like giving Rainbow Dash a hard time, but we'd all really appreciate it if you'd calm down and, um, maybe rest for a bit?" Her speech brought every animal over to her, their attention completely undivided. They were now quiet and willing to listen to her. Twilight, Blaze, and I all looked to each other with smiles that said, 'it worked!' Fluttershy looked around nervously before retrieving a bowl of vegetables. "Oh, look! Here's some nice, juicy leaves for you to munch on. She set it down for a group of rabbits to eat. She turned to a small group of squirrels and laid down a few acorns. "And some crunchy, munchy acorns, too!" She looked over to the few animals that were still crowding around Rainbow Dash and walked over to them. "Uh, wouldn't you like to take a break and have a little snack?" She asked them, pointing to the rest of the animals that were chowing down on whatever food they had. The animals decided to join the rest of their friends and began eating happily. Fluttershy walked over to the feeding animals and admired them. "Aww, look at that. I guess you all were just cranky because you were hungry." A bunny turned to her and hopped into her hooves, snuggling up against her face. "Aw, you are very welcome, little friends." She said as other animals joined the bunny in thanks, including a bear that picked her up and gave her a kiss. I was going to make a joke to Blaze about him being jealous, but I decided this probably wasn't the time. "Goodness, I think I can understand them," Fluttershy said, a light pink aura gradually beginning to engulf her. Twilight brought Fluttershy's Element of Harmony out of the box and galloped over to her. "I...I feel strange, like this is what I'm meant to do. Like this is who I am." Fluttershy suddenly went into the air, the aura completely surrounding her, and her Element of Harmony attaching like a magnet around her neck. "My destiny!" Her eyes suddenly got very, very wide, and a blinding light flashed through the whole room, for an instant before disappearing. When we could see again, Fluttershy was on the ground, and she looked up to Twilight, Blaze, and I. "What... what happened?" She asked. "Fluttershy, look! Your cutie mark!" Twilight exclaimed. Fluttershy looked back to her flank, revealing her trademark pink butterflies. As I looked to Blaze, I could tell he was absolutely ecstatic. "It worked! It worked!" Twilight said, jumping around the room. "Oh, I'm so happy you're back to normal! Now we need your help!" "Hey, Blaze, do you hear some kind of music?" I asked. "Yes, yes I do." Blaze replied. "You don't think that-" "A true, true friend helps a friend in need!" Twilight began to sing. "Yes, yes I do." Blaze sighed. "A friend will be there to help them see," Fluttershy joined Twilight in the jovial tune. "A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend." "Um, hello!" Rainbow Dash said from inside the cauldron. "Friend trapped inside, remember?" They got her out of the cauldron and untied her at an ungodly speed before Twilight started singing again. "Rarity needs your help," And just like that, we were suddenly in the center of town where Little Miss Armageddon was working on the chaotic weather. Don't ask me how we got there so fast because I really, really don't know. "she's trying hard, doing what she can." "Would you try, just give it a chance." Fluttershy sang as Rainbow Dash looked at the sky with utter disgust. "You might find that you'll start to understand." Dash gently flew up to the nearest cloud and gave it a soft kick, as if she'd never touched a cloud in her life. Despite slow break in activity, the music still continued. "A true, true friend helps a friend in need. A friend will be there to help you see." Rainbow Dash gradually began to become better at clearing the awful skies, while Rarity sort of just sat by and watched like a young child. The whole situation reminded me of a Rocky montage. "A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend." As Rainbow Dash landed, her Element of Harmony flew to her neck, and the same events Fluttershy endured were repeated. When she got back up from the sudden destiny change, she was incredibly confused. "Uh, what just happened?" She asked all of us. "There's no time to explain," Twilight said, waving her off. "But we need your help. Applejack's trying to make dresses." "Say no more." Rainbow Dash said, and everypony looked to Rarity as she looked around in surprise. Then, once again, we were somehow magically teleported to the Carousel Boutique, where Applejack was having a nervous breakdown at her inability to make new dresses. I looked to Blaze for any rationalization of the strangeness of the situation, but all he could offer was a shrug that said he had already given up on all reasoning. "Applejack needs your help," Rainbow Dash sang. "She's trying hard, doing what she can. Would you try, just give it a chance. You might find that you'll start to understand." Rarity started walking around the room, taking the fabric, and doing what she could with it. As if she'd been doing it her whole life, she began stitching cloth together and making elegant designs in no time. "A true, true friend helps a friend in need. A friend will be there to help them see. A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend." Everypony sang in unison. As Rarity finished her work, her Element of Harmony flew onto her glowing neck, and her cutie mark sparkled back to her classic gems. She looked up in surprise. "Oh, my. What a terrible dream I had." She looked over to a raggedy outfit Applejack had designed. "Or, maybe I'm still having it." "Rarity, Pinkie Pie's about to lose the Apple Farm." Twilight said. "We need Applejack's help!" "Lose the Apple Farm?" Rarity said with a confident shake of the head. "Well we can't let that happen, now can we?" She walked over to Applejack and put her hoof around her, and the scenery gradually changed back to the middle of town where we were all walking down the street in one synchronized line. "Pinkie Pie is in trouble." Rarity sang. "We need to get there by her side. We can try to do what we can now," We arrived at the Apple Farm to see a struggling Pinkie Pie trying to hold up an old water chute. Everypony galloped to her side, and Applejack immediately put it back in place, getting a thankful smile from the straight-maned Pinkie Pie. "Or together we can be her guide!" "A true, true friend helps a friend in need. A friend will be there to help them see." Everypony continued to sing as Applejack naturally bucked trees and did other farm work with ease. "A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend!" A green aura surrounded Applejack as she wore her Element of Harmony just as easily as the other ponies, and her cutie mark morphed back to her triplet apples. "Yeehaw!" She exclaimed with a satisfied rearing. "Now that's more like it! What's next?" "The townspeople are furious! We need the old Pinkie Pie back." Twilight explained. "I'm on it, I know just the thing!" Applejack said, putting Pinkie Pie on her back. "I wonder where we'll end up next!" I said with fake enthusiasm. "This constant teleporting is an adventure in itself." Blaze commented, and just like that, we suddenly started trotting in the center of town, where all of the ponies stomped around angrily for no apparent reason. "The townspeople need ya, they've been sad for a while." Applejack sang. "They march around, faces frown, and never seem to smile. And if you feel like helpin' we'd appreciate a lot!" A small smile crept across Pinkie's face as her Element of Harmony floated to her neck. Applejack put a fake mustache and glasses on the pink mare, and pushed her out in front of the angry crowd. "If ya get up there and spread some cheer from here to Canterlot!" Applejack finished. Pinkie's mane suddenly inflated to its usual poofy self, and her face wore the merriest smile I had ever had the pleasure to witness. "Come on, ponies, I wanna see you SMILE!" She shouted. "PINKIE!!!" The crowd exclaimed cheerfully to their national entertainer's return. The enormous build up through the song led to this moment, and I knew there was about to be one hell of a chorus, so I looked to Blaze and said, "Screw it." "A true, true friend helps a friend in need!" Everypony in the entire town, including myself sang. "A friend will be there to help them see. A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light!" "To see the light," "That shines!" "That shines!" "From a true, true friend!" Everypony chorused all together in one final verse, sending shivers through my body. I looked over to see Blaze smiling happily at the sight before him, and I turned to see all six ponies in a tight embrace as a bright purple light surrounded them. I smiled as well at the situation. It all seemed so incredibly happy. Over time, the light faded, but the 6 friends continued the embrace, never wanting to let go. I heard Blaze trot to my side as he watched along with me. "So does this mean everything is back to normal? We don't have to deal with any more weird stuff?" He asked. "I don't know." I said. "I think so but something still feels missing." My question was quickly answered by a gasp from Twilight. "Wait a second, that's it!" She said excitedly. "I understand now. I know how to fix the spell!" Blaze looked to me. "Well, that's that." We heard the gallop of many hooves as all the ponies past us on their way to the library. "Let's follow them." Twilight quickly burst through the door and went straight over to the spell book with the confidence that she so lacked earlier. As Blaze and I walked in, Rainbow Dash turned to me and waved us to come closer to watch Twilight do her stuff. Whatever that was, we had no clue. She picked up the book and a quill with her magic and started scrawling something on the pages. "From all of us together, together we are friends." She chanted. "With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!" She finished her writing with one final period, and put the book away in triumph. She had finally figured out the spell! I started to smile at the fact that everything was finally done, when suddenly her Element resting on her head began to glow, and the rest of the Elements on everypony's necks began to shoot some kind of beams of light at her, enveloping her in a ball of white light. "Flash, what's happening?" Blaze asked a bit frantically as the light continued to get brighter. "Does it look like I know anything that has happened today??" I yelled over the screams of everypony. Just as quick as it happened, the light suddenly completely filled the room, temporarily blinding everypony. When we could all finally see again, Twilight was no where to be seen! All that was left was a simmering black mark where she once stood. The frantic worries of all the ponies instantly spilled into the room as they speculated what could have happened to their friend. "Where'd she go?" Applejack asked. "She was just here!" Said Rainbow Dash. "What if she exploded!" Pinkie Pie screamed. "Oh, don't be ridiculous, darling. I'm sure she's alright." Rarity gulped. "Oh, goodness. I hope she's okay." Fluttershy said. "What the hell just happened?" I asked, my mouth completely agape. "She's just... gone." Blaze said. He blinked in disbelief and looked around at the other equally confused ponies. "There's gotta be some kinda explanation here." Applejack reasoned. "She can't just... disappear like that." "UNLESS SHE EXPLODED!!!" Pinkie screamed once more, getting a worried cry from Fluttershy as she hunkered down. "Now Pinkie Pie, quit your hollerin'." Applejack said as she walked over to the cowering pegasus for comfort. "You're givin' Fluttershy here a panic attack. Besides, we didn't blow her up, she just disappeared." She looked over to the black burn mark. "I hope." "Well what ever has happened to her, worrying won't solve it." Rarity said. "She's right." I said. I never knew I would agree with Rarity. "If we want to find her, we need to do something." "Like what?" Blaze asked. "Well, for starters we should probably go outside." I suggested. "Maybe there are some clues or something." "Sounds like as good a plan as any." Applejack said. "Let's do it." Rainbow Dash immediately flew out the front door. "It's still night out here, but the weird storm stopped!" She exclaimed from outside. Wait, what? I trotted outside to see that she wasn't lying; it was indeed night outside. But why? It was day a few minutes ago. Why is it-? Something finally clicked in my brain, and I remembered how I got into all this. As I realized the situation, the several gasps from behind me told me that everypony else did as well. I turned to Blaze who was almost unable to take in the situation. He turned to me with an expression that said, "aha!" "Wait, wait." He said. If everypony just came out of the library, and right before we ended up where we were, we saw a huge bright light, does that mean?" "All of that just happened in less than a second." I said. "And we're back outside of the library where we were." "Except now we have no idea where Twilight is, and the storm stopped." Blaze finished. Throughout our little explanation, the mane six minus Twilight had gathered around us to listen. "But it's still night." Rainbow Dash said. "How do we fix that?" "Well, maybe once we find Twilight, she can fix it." I said. "If we find Twilight." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "She could be anywhere!" Just when I was about to say something, a giant light in the sky caught everypony's attention, and we all turned to see a bright sparkling crest lighting up the dark night sky. It resembled a very familiar cutie mark. A very sparkly cutie mark. "Or, maybe she's right there." I said. The giant cutie mark floated down to the ground with a gentle swoon, and landed softly as an even brighter light. We all covered our eyes as the light expanded until it disappeared into nothing. Well, nothing except a purple alicorn. Wait. Wait. Wait. What did I just say? What the hell did I just say? "Twilight..." Applejack started. "Is that-" "OH MY GOD WHAT?????" Blaze , destroying the special moment that had been set up during that dramatic reveal. "HOW? WHY?" Twilight blushed and looked at the newly formed wings that hung limply off of her back. She straightened them to admire them properly. "I've never seen anything like it." Applejack marveled. Dash let out an overjoyed laugh. "Twilight's got wings! Awesome!" She exclaimed. "A new flying buddy!" "What about me?" I said jokingly. "Hey, I said new, not better." She winked. "Twilight, you've become an alicorn!" Rarity observed as she stroked her new wings. "I didn't even know that was possible." "ALICORN PARTY!!!" Pinkie screamed as she flew through the air on some kind of swing and balloons and streamers appeared out of no where. "Wow, Twilight." Fluttershy commented. "You look just like a princess." "That's because she is a princess." A regal voice said from behind us. We all turned around to see Princess Celestia standing with a warm smile. Okay, just what the fuck. I thought at last. This whole day has just been one big fuck. I just heard Blaze sigh out of disappointment. "Huh?" All the ponies asked in unison. "A... a princess?" Twilight asked with tremendous surprise soaking her voice. Celestia put a hoof on her shoulder. "Since you've come to Ponyville, you've displayed the charity, compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and of course, leadership of a true princess." "But... does this mean I won't be your student anymore?" Twilight asked the princess. "Not in the same way as before." Celestia said. "I'll still be there to help and guide you, but we're all your students now, too." She bowed to the purple princess. "You are an inspiration to us all, Twilight." I looked around as all the ponies began to bow to the newly crowned princess. Blaze looked to me and shrugged before bowing as well. I followed his actions and everypony was now bowing to... Princess Twilight. God, it even sounded like a bad attempt to sell toys. "But, what do I do now? Is there a book about being a princess I should read?" Twilight asked. Celestia giggled somehow royally. "There will be time for all of that later." "Wait! One more question!" Pinkie Pie suddenly said. We all looked to her quizzically as she prepared her question. "Do you have any chairs that I can borrow, Twilight?" Twilight giggled at the strange question. "Sure, Pinkie. I'm sure I have some somewhere." "Yay!" Pinkie smiled. Twilight began to beam widely as well, and looked around as everypony smiled back. Even though I completely disproved of what had happened in the last five minutes, I couldn't help but smile at the moment. I looked to Blaze who was smiling happily as well, despite the sudden change. It was at that moment that I finally felt that everything was normal again. Well, as normal as it could get with an alicorn Twilight, anyway. The situation before me sent a wave of peace and tranquility through me, like everything was back to how it's supposed to be. Like the adventure I had just endured was finally over, and I could get back to enjoying the paradise that I was blessed to be transported to. Everything was- "GUYS, WHAT THE FUCK!!!" And just like that, the quiet peacefulness was ruined by a single obnoxious, vulgar, pissed off unicorn. We all looked to see Spark cantering angrily towards us with Spike sitting on his back. "Where the fuck did you guys go? The library, like, blew up or some shit and you guys were just gone! I went looking for your bitch asses and boom, you're fucking back in no time!" Spark was literally steaming from anger. He looked over to Twilight as she stood there giggling at him. "What's so..." He suddenly stopped and looked to the ground, slamming his head over and over with his hoof. "God. Fucking. Dammit." He said in one fluid sentence. "Twilight, what happened?" Spike asked, hopping off of Spark's back to go inspect his friend. "Twilight is a princess now, Spike!" Rarity said. "An alicorn princess!" "Whoa." Was all Spike could say as he admired her new wings. Spark looked to Blaze and I and motioned for us to go over to him. We did, and he grabbed us by the shoulders to take us out of earshot of the other ponies. "You guys went through Magical Mystery Cure without me." He said rather calmly. "We what?" Blaze asked. "The episode, you dumbass." Spark said. Season 3 finale, 'Magical Mystery Cure'." "Wait, we just went through an episode?" I asked. "That would explain all the songs." Blaze mumbled. "Yes, you fuck!" Spark said. "It's the episode that Twilight gets her wings! The episode that made bronies everywhere cry from bullshit, remember?" "I never finished season 3." I said. "I thought those images were fan made." Blaze shrugged. Spark sighed in defeat. "Fuck you guys. That's all I got to say." He started walking away toward the rest of the group shaking his head, occasionally yelling "FUCK!" as he did so. I began to chuckle as he walked back, still angry at the whole situation. Blaze quickly joined in the laughter, and eventually everypony, even Celestia, was laughing just because we could. The place held such a friendly atmosphere, that we couldn't help but laugh from pure happiness. Everything was back; all the destinies were restored, the strange storm had stopped, Twilight was a princess, and everyone was happy. Even Spark's rage couldn't hold out for long without giving in to the warmth that friendship brought to us at that moment, and he joined us all in jubilant laughter. Everything was perfect once more. > 33. 1 Year Anniversary! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Once upon a time, in the boring human world of Earth, there lived a faggot that loved to write. He sat down one day, thinking of his life. 'Ponies are cool,' he thought, and began to go to work at what he knew would be one of the greatest literary masterpieces in all of written history. When he was finished with this pinnacle of human literature, he gave it to his mother to seek her approval. 'Quit being a faggot,' she had said, rolling up yet another blunt. 'Your face!' he yelled as a rebuttal, angering his mother and making him receive many a whooping. He then browsed the lonely internet, ass stinging and spirits broken, searching for anything that might repair his destroyed aspirations. As he wondered through the depths of 4chan, he came to a wonderful sight. There, on a post about technicolor ponies, sat a single picture of a poorly drawn Rainbow Dash wearing a top hat with the caption, 'U cen du it :3'. "I'm inspired," the boy said, and without hesitation, clicked on a link next to the photo, bringing him across a wonderful site called Fimfiction.net. "Whoa!" he said after eight straight hours of browsing the many, many stories of ponies copulating and other adventures that were completely irrelevant to the plot of this very paragraph. "These stories are subpar to medium good! I might have a chance at this stuff!" he said excitedly, eager to write for the community. "Maybe if you weren't such a bitch." his dog discouraged, immediately jumping out of the three-story window afterwards. "Ah, I didn't need him anyways." He said, and posted his story on the site. The next day, he awoke with many views and comments both critical and bullshitty, the words 'generic' and 'classic' showing up very frequently in his feed. "Mannnn," he lamented, "I wish I wasn't such a pleb." He moped for the entire day, the Dead Island Trailer Theme everywhere he went, leading to the mass confusion of everyone he interacted with. He came back to his computer later that evening and checked the fan fiction site, seeing he had one more notification. "Wonder what it could be." He said, clicking on it. It was another comment, but this one was different from the rest. "U cen du it :3" It said, bringing a tear to the boy's eye. The inspiration was unfathomable. He continued to write for the very small crowd, and eventually, it grew from 3 people to 4, and he was absolutely ecstatic. He then-" "Excuse me." Blaze interrupted the large speech with a raise of his hoof. "God, what the fuck do you want, Blaze? I'm in the middle of an epic saga of pain, triumph and courage!" Spark yelled. "I just..." Blaze started. "What are you even talking about? I sincerely don't understand a thing you're saying." "Are you really that much of a shit stain?" Spark asked angrily. "I'm talking about this story. The author's struggle to make us happen. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for this! This story is the very foundation of your existence." "Yeah, yeah, I know that." Blaze said. "I just don't know if what you're saying is completely accurate. In fact, I don't know if what you're saying is accurate at all. In any way." "Oh, really? If you know so much about it, why don't you tell the story?" Spark asked. "Well, for one, I don't think the readers care all that much." Blaze defended. "Of course they do!" Spark said. "What else would they want on a year anniversary?" "I don't know, maybe a Spark and Blaze chapter filled with our stupid banter?" Blaze asked. "Well, they're sure as hell not getting that." Spark said. He began to stroke his chin. "Okay, how about this: We get some strippers, and then-" "No." Blaze face hoofed. "Something special and/or exciting." "You can't sit there and tell me strippers are not both of those things." Spark said with contempt. Blaze sighed. "We're not getting strippers." He thought for a few moments. "Why don't we just talk about how the past year has been?" "I guess." Spark said with a deflated attitude. His spirits suddenly perked up. "Wait, I just noticed something. This story has been going on for a year." "Yeah." Blaze said. "What about it?" "This motherfucker has been writing this piece of shit for a year!?!?" Spark yelled. "Yeahh." Blaze said, not sure of why his friend was so surprised. "Holy fucking shit, dude." Spark said, shaking his head with a laugh. "I thought he'd give up after Chapter 3." "You weren't even around in Chapter 3." Blaze said. "No, but I was a thought at that time, and I saw how shitty he was doing." Spark said. "Well jeez, it's a good thing you kept faith." Blaze said sarcastically. "You're damn right it is." Spark said. "Alright, well anyway," Blaze said, trying to get to the point of the conversation. "It's been a pretty great year. This story has had some crazy adventures so far, not to mention how fun it's been to write." "Hell, yeah." Spark chimed in. "Flash made some friends, we got shitfaced, and you two got laid!" "And it was all because of you guys." Blaze said. "Even through all the good and bad writing, we somehow managed to keep an audience!" "Well, it was mostly me that kept them here." Spark said vainly. "Even when the story was no more than a small collection of poorly put together words and phrases easy enough for a preschooler to understand, you guys stayed with us, leaving friendly comments telling us how to improve." "And other not-so-friendly ones." "But they all helped us nonetheless. We can't even begin to believe how far this story has come. It started out a year ago as a simple Human in Equestria story-" "Ultra classical and boring Human in Equestria story." Spark corrected in an over exaggerated mocking tone. "But now, thanks to you guys, it is much better than that. As the story progressed, more and more of you began to join the ride, encouraging us with your helpful comments and helping us to make this all possible. Then, 1,000 views, 80 likes, and 110 comments later, we end up here, a year later, thanking you guys. That is just-" "Fucking shit balls amazing." Spark finished. "Couldn't have said it better myself." Blaze said. "When this story began, we definitely did not expect any of this. This is just WAY above and beyond what we thought we would ever have, and we thank you guys so, so much." "I honestly just expected a total of 2 people. When I saw there were 5 views I nearly shit myself." Spark said. "And forget 1,000 views. That's four fucking digits, guys! Four digits! Holy shit!" "You guys are the best audience any amateur author could ask for. You have no idea how incredible it is to see comments written by you guys saying how much you liked a certain part, or how much you loved the chapter. We never knew we would actually have people reading this story on a regular basis, let alone positive comments talking about how you can't wait for the next chapter. We are so grateful for you." "You guys are some insane motherfuckers to be reading this story." Spark shook his head. "But we fucking love you. No homo." "We do love you." Blaze said. "It may seem like something small, but we appreciate you guys reading this more than anything. It means so much to an author to see people enjoying the writing, and it means so much to us to see other people enjoying our adventures." "Even the parts without us in them." Spark said. "Especially those parts." Blaze said. "If it wasn't for you guys, we wouldn't be here, this story would probably still be on Chapter 5, and you'd be doing something much more productive than reading this." "Whether it be watching My Little Pony, playing video games, buying a house, moving out of your mother's basement, getting a job, going on a date for once in your life-" "That's enough, Spark." Blaze interrupted. "Anyways, one last thing. If you've been here since last year, 1. There's something seriously wrong with you for sticking around all this time, and 2. You are the absolute best. Whether you've written comments, or just silently sat by and read, we appreciate you so much. Without your encouragement all the way from the beginning, this story would be no where near what it is today." "You the real MVP." Spark said. "You guys are the best. All we could ever ask for is right here. We just hope you continue to enjoy the story as much as we love living it." "And we really fucking love living it, so you better enjoy the shit out of it." Spark said. "Or at least tolerate the mediocre writing." Blaze said. "Either way, if you're reading this, you're 20% cooler than every other human on Earth." Spark said. "That was awful." "Hey, I'll say whatever the fuck I want, this is a thank you to the people." Spark defended. "Alright." Blaze said. "Well, we don't want to keep you too long, and we don't have much time either. We gotta be at a certain coronation soon, but we just want to give one last thank you to you beautiful people for being so supportive and amazing in every way." "Seriously guys, brohoof." Spark said, holding his hoof out, followed by Blaze doing the same gesture. "If anyone deserves a brohoof, it's you guys. Again, we thank you, and we hope you keep reading our adventures. They're about to get a lot more fun." A door suddenly slammed open, and the two looked to see a white pegasus dressed in a nice tuxedo looking at them. "Guys, what are you doing? The coronation is in an hour and you're not even dressed??" White Flash scolded. "Hey, how about you go fuck yourself?" Spark said. "We're thanking these wonderful motherfuckers!" "Who are you even talking about?" Flash asked. He quickly waved it off. "Never mind. Just please get ready, guys? This is kind of a big deal." "Hey, you worry about you, okay?" Spark said. Flash threw his hooves into the air in defeat. "Whatever, just don't show up naked." He said, walking out of their house. "Fucking bitch, telling me to get dressed for a bullshit coronation. Why is she even a princess? Fucking M.A. Larson..." Spark trailed off as he looked for any nice clothes he could scrounge up. Blaze shook his head with a smile. "Have a wonderful summer, everybody." /) > 34. Truth or Dare? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "So anyway, like I was saying," Spark explained after Blaze had interrupted him with many plausible questions about his obviously fabricated story. "This fucker was hu-fucking-mongous, right? Like, eight feet or some shit, and I, being so courageous like I am, wrestled that timberwolf so the schoolchildren could get to safety. I knew it was dangerous, but I wasn't thinking about myself, you know? I knew these children were the seeds of our very future, so I had to save them; no matter if it meant losing my own life." Spark sounded like much more of a hero than he actually was. "You don't believe this crap, do you?" I whispered to Rainbow Dash, her head resting peacefully on my chest as we sat around the bright bonfire in the clear night. "Of course not," She whispered back to me. "It's Spark. Just let him have his fun and hopefully it won't go to his head." I smiled at that and put my arm around Dash, pulling her even closer to me. This was the perfect night. A bonfire outside of Ponyville on a clear, summer night, surrounded by all of my friends as we visited and shared stories, whether they were truthful or made up. Applejack sat near the large fire pit, roasting a marshmallow on a stick as she listened intently to Spark. Rarity sat on a stump, constantly checking her mane, but still looking like she was having a blast. Blaze and Fluttershy sat close together, Blaze's arm wrapped tightly around her for comfort during the dark night. Twilight and Pinkie Pie sat close by eating s'mores happily. Twilight's wings were fully extended and still looked a little awkward situated on her back. Even though the coronation had happened nearly a month ago, I still hadn't gotten used to them. But by the way she walked and struggled to do simple tasks, it didn't look like she was any more accustomed than me. And finally, there sat Spark, acting out his inconceivable story with many hoof and arm motions. "So then, I tackled that little shit, and next thing I know, BAM! The cunt smacked me with a sledgehammer!" Spark continued. "How would a timberwolf have a sledgehammer in the middle of the Everfree Forest?" Blaze questioned. "Blaze, I'm gonna tell you one more time, shut the fuck up. This is my story not yours." Spark said angrily. "Well sorry, but I just don't think it's entirely true." Blaze defended. "Of course it is!" Spark said. He looked almost insulted to be accused of lying. "I believe you!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed through a mouthful of melted marshmallow and chocolate. "Thank you, Pinkie." Spark said. "See? Completely true events." Blaze just rolled his eyes and waved his hoof for Spark to finish the story, earning a small giggle from Fluttershy. "Yeah, so then I was all like, 'You bitch,' and then I went all commando style and, like Judo chops and back flips and shit, and in no time the stupid shit was dead from pure thrashing, and I was battle scarred and weary, but the children were safe, and I was a hero to the public!" Spark finished with a triumphant pose of victory and pride. "Sounds like quite the adventure." Rarity commented when he was finished. "Oh, it was. But it was all worth the admiration of the public." Spark said. "Wait a minute. If you were such a hero, how come we ain't never heard of this before?" Applejack asked skeptically as she popped a roasted marshmallow in her mouth. "Well, obviously the children were so scarred from the event that they lost their ability to talk, and being the most modest person ever, I sure as hell wasn't gonna just tell everyone about it. It's against my morals." Spark explained. "Right..." Applejack said, not believing him for a second. "Why were you in the Everfree Forest with kids anyway?" Twilight asked as she scooted a little closer to the crackling fire for warmth. "Well, ya know. The same reason you would be anywhere with kids." Spark nervously laughed. "Like?" Twilight expected an answer. "Uh, candy? Ice cream? Video games? I don't fucking know, whatever kids are into nowadays." Spark said. "So you abducted children by offering them candy, ice cream, and video games, and led them to the Everfree Forest just so you could save them from a timberwolf and become a hero at the expense of their ability to speak?" Twilight asked. It seemed she had completely analyzed his story down to every detail. "Uh...would it make me a felon if I said yes?" Spark asked. "Fortunately, no, because your story is completely made up." Twilight said with a slight giggle. Spark sighed. "Way to ruin my fun, Book Brain." "Anytime." Twilight smiled happily at the teasing insult. Rainbow Dash and I laughed at their little exchange. Ever since Spark had began taking magic lessons from Twilight, the two had grown much closer. Spark was still very much in love with Pinkie, but over the past month, him and Twilight had grown to be one of the closest pairs of friends I had ever seen. Who knew that would ever happen? Spark rolled his eyes and looked to everypony else. "Well, I don't suppose you guys have any other better stories?" "OH!!! I have one!" Pinkie Pie yelled excitedly with a sticky, marshmallow covered hoof in the air. She hopped up from the ground and began trotting around the fire. "It's about a cute little unicorn that loves to do magic tricks and hang out with all of his friends!" She snorted as she giggled and continued her story. "One time on a day a lot like today, but not the same day, he was walking around when he decided, 'Hey, we should have a get-together with all of our friends!' And that's when I said, 'Oh my gosh! We should totally do that!' And then a few hours later there was a group of friends enjoying time around a bonfire and a happy pink pony telling this story!" She ended the tale by taking a seat next to Spark and wrapping her arms around him lovingly. "That's not much of a story, Pinkie, it's more just telling about earlier today." Spark smirked, putting an arm around her. "I know! I just wanted to share how the day went for the convenience of the reader, silly!" Pinkie explained with a bright smile. "Oh, I...wait, what?" Spark asked, confused as to what Pinkie was even talking about. "At least she ain't lyin'." Applejack said with a merry chuckle. "Well, uh, anyway," Spark said, still caught in Pinkie's embrace. "Anyone else have anything exciting or entertaining to share?" I felt Dash stir, and she broke my embrace as she sat straight up. "Has anypony here ever heard of..." She paused for dramatic effect. "Bighoof?" "B-Bighoof?" Fluttershy asked, nestling deeper into Blaze's arms. It looked like he couldn't be any happier about the moment. "So you haven't heard?" Dash pretended to sound surprised for the sake of the story. Wonder if this will be anything close to the horseshoe story in 'Sleepless in Ponyville.' "One night, much like this one, there lived a couple from Ponyville that decided to venture outside, even though they had been warned by the locals not to go out at night. They liked a sense of danger and adventure. They had no idea what they were in for. They decided to roam together through the night, not particularly paying attention to their surroundings, just sort of goofing around. Through their carelessness, they eventually ended up in the heart of the Everfree Forest. At night, it was pitch black, and the two ponies couldn't even see each other three feet away, so they had to rely on their voices to get around. The usually buzzing forest was dead silent at night, making the constant shouting of their voices back and forth even more eerie. The mare eventually came to her senses and decided she wanted to leave. She followed the sound of her partner's voice and stood next to him, gripping his hoof out of fear of the whole situation. Though, when he wouldn't move and his voice stopped, she knew something was very wrong. 'Uh, dear? Aren't we leaving?' She asked frantically. 'Yeah, I'm over here!' She heard the stallion yell. Twenty feet away. Her eyes went wide when she realized that wasn't her lover she was gripping. The hoof she clung to suddenly bolted upward and slammed back to the ground again, bringing her along for the ride and causing her to let out a blood curdling scream. Her partner heard her cries and tried to get to her, but it was no use; Bighoof had taken her away to his lair, never to be seen again." She ended the presentation with an adorably sinister smile. Throughout the story, everypony had slowly crept closer and closer to whomever they were nearest, and began holding them tightly for comfort. Fluttershy was practically enveloped by an equally terrified Blaze by the time it was all over. Even I was a bit frazzled after a story like that. Damn, Dash knows how to scare a crowd. "Meh, heard better." Spark said, appearing unamused. Rainbow Dash sighed in frustration. "Seriously? You're not even phased? Not even a little?" "I read 'Cupcakes'. Nothing scares me anymore." Spark said. "Oh, what's 'Cupcakes'?" Pinkie asked, completely forgetting about how scared she was a minute ago. "Sounds like a fun story!" Spark chuckled. "Well, it starts out-" "N-no, no, no need to finish that." An already terrified Blaze said. "I think that's enough scary for now." Spark rolled his eyes. "Pff, fine, pussy." He looked to Pinkie. "I'll tell you later." She replied with an eager nod of the head. I cleared my throat, interrupting the short silence that followed afterward. "Well, after that," I spoke up. "Who's up for a little game?" "Oh! I am!" Exclaimed Pinkie ecstatically, followed by the many murmuring agreements of everypony else. "Great." I said. "What are we playing, anyway?" Spark asked. "Something I'm sure you're all familiar with." I said as I reached behind me to grab one of the many empty bottles of apple cider we had drank and discarded lazily into the grass. "A good old game of spin the bottle." "Fuck, seriously? That's the best you could come up with?" Spark said. "Truth or dare isn't exactly something I would expect at a god-tier party like this." "Ah, lighten up, Spark." Rainbow Dash said. "You can't beat the classics." "Yeah, c'mon, Sparky!" Pinkie said, giving Spark a peck on the cheek. "It'll be fun!" Spark seemed momentarily stunned by the action, and he quickly concluded, "Alright, let's do it." I smiled and brought out the bottle and placed it on the ground. "Okay, so I spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on-" "We know how to fucking play spin the bottle, we weren't born under a rock." Spark said, rewarding him with a small giggle from Pinkie. "Okay then." I said, knowing it wasn't worth it to argue with Spark. I reached down and spun the bottle as hard as I could, and it eventually stopped to face Rarity. "Okay, truth or dare?" I asked her. "Hmm, I choose dare." She decided. "Alright, I dare you to...roll on the ground." I said with a devilish smirk. She looked absolutely aghast. "Is it too late to choose truth?" "I'm afraid so." I said with a nod. "What? But I...Do you know how hard I work to keep my mane in this shape?" She asked. Twilight chuckled. "Sorry, Rarity. That's how the game works." "But, but..." She suddenly gave a defeated sigh and reluctantly laid on the ground and began to roll around, complaining as dirt and other random things started to stick to her coat and mane. Shortly after she got up and sat back on her stump, attempting to wipe the dirt from her mane. She looked to me. "There, happy now?" "Very." I smiled, and passed the bottle to her. She gave it a spin, and it stopped pointed at Fluttershy. "Truth or dare, Fluttershy?" Rarity asked. "Um, I guess dare." Fluttershy said. "Hmm...I dare you to kiss Blaze." Both Fluttershy's and Blaze's faces turned as bright red as tomatoes as they looked at each other with surprise. Blaze awkwardly started to lean in when Fluttershy suddenly cut him off with a long lasting kiss to the lips. They were still kissing passionately about a minute later when Spark suddenly spoke up. "Alright, that's enough, you two. Any longer and we'd have to pay for the show." They reluctantly stopped kissing, leaving a red faced Fluttershy and an absolutely stunned Blaze. Rarity smiled sweetly and passed the bottle to Fluttershy. She took the bottle and spun it, eventually landing on Twilight. "Truth or dare?" She quietly asked. "I choose dare." Twilight said with a confident smirk. "I dare you to..." Fluttershy thought for a short moment. "Use your magic to make the fire green." "Oh that's it?" Twilight said, sounding relieved. "That's easy-" "And then make a pretty light show out of it." Fluttershy finished. "Oh, uh, ok then." Twilight said. Her horn glowed purple and surrounded the fire with the aura, changing it from a bright yellow to a sickly green color. She strained a bit, and starts morphing the fire into different shapes. The flames licked at the air as they were lifted into the sky and turned into diamonds and stars that danced across the sky to make one dazzling show of green flame and light. "Ohh." Everypony awed as we watched the light show of flames before us. It truly was a unique sight to see green fire performing in the sky for a crowd. After a few minutes of the beautiful sight, Twilight lowered the flames back into the fire pit, and returned it to its original bright yellow color. "How was that?" Twilight asked, wiping a bit of sweat from her brow. "Twilight, that was beautiful." Rarity said. "Darn tootin' it was!" Applejack agreed. "You should get paid for light shows like that!" "Way to reuse a previously made joke, there." Spark commented. "Thanks." Twilight blushed as the two praised her. Fluttershy handed the bottle over to Twilight as she began her turn. The spun the bottle strongly, and after several revolutions, it finally stopped spinning and landed on me. "Truth or dare, Flash?" Twilight asked me. "Truth." I said confidently, wanting to add a little variety to the game. I knew there was no question I couldn't answer. "Okay...how far have you two gone?" She asked suddenly. "Uh, excuse me?" I asked, thrown off by a question like that coming from Twilight. "You know...like how far have you gone in your relationship?" She clarified. "Uh, well..." I looked to Dash and I could tell she wasn't any more comfortable with the question than I was. "Do I have to answer that?" "Sorry, Flash. That's how the game works." Rarity said smugly as she continued wiping the dirt from her coat. Shut up, Rarity. "Um, well, as far as any normal couple would go at our stage, I guess." I said, trying to avoid spilling the information about my sex life. "Define normal." Twilight said with a slight sense of curiosity in her voice. "Hey, one question per turn." I said. "Well...alright." Twilight finally agreed after a few moments of thinking. I let out a silent sigh of relief. Smooth as silk. She passed the bottle over to me and I gave it another hard spin. It stopped with the neck pointed straight at Spark. "Oh boy." He said with fake enthusiasm. "Truth or dare?" I asked him. "I'm up for a dare." Spark said. Aw, that's no fun. Spark won't be afraid to do anything. Unless... "I dare you to go the rest of the night without cursing." "That's fucking bullshit." Spark immediately said. "I want another one." "That's not how it works, Spark." I said. "I don't give a fuck." "Just do it, you wimp." Twilight teased. "It's not like he's asking you to sell your soul." "Ugh, fine." Spark huffed. Apparently Twilight was a master at persuasion. "But I'm not making any fucking promises." "Strike one." Dash laughed. "Ah, fuck you." Spark said. "Strike two." Applejack added. "One more and you'll have to endure whatever punishment we come up with." I said. "You wanna risk it?" Spark stopped for a moment, as if he were choosing his next words very carefully. "I...will not curse for the rest of the night." Was all he came up with. "That's all I wanted." I said with a smile. He looked like he wanted to rip out my intestines and strangle me with them. I passed him the bottle and he took it in silence. "You can't stop talking altogether either." Rainbow Dash said. He suddenly stopped and closed his eyes from the internal rage he was harnessing deep within his soul. He opened them and turned to me with a look of pure insane happiness. "Thank you...SIR, for your generous bottle donation!" He said, slamming the bottle on the ground and giving it the hardest spin of the night. It stopped pointed at Blaze. "Truth." Blaze said quickly with a bit of fear in his voice. "I'm not in the mood to do what ever torture of a dare you'd come up with." "Okay then." Spark said. "I've always wanted to know: why are you always such a bit-" He suddenly stopped himself and everypony looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, why are you such a pus-" He stopped himself again when the looks he got became even more intense. He sighed in utter disgrace. "Why are you such a baby all the time." He looked to everypony. "There! No cursing!" We all went back, satisfied at his execution of the question. "Because ever since I met you, you're just a let down. Nothing you do is fun and you're a baby about everything." "Uh, well, I try not to be." Blaze answered. "Well, you do a shi- crappy job at it." Spark said, shrugging off the mistake he almost made. Blaze was silent for a few moments before he finally snapped. "Why are you such an uncultured, vulgar prick?" He suddenly asked, adding more to the ticking time bomb of anger that Spark was already burdened with for the night. Everypony besides Spark was stunned. "Hey, it's my turn, buddy. Knock on my door when it's yours." Spark replied, and slid the bottle across the ground over to Blaze. He quickly spun the bottle, and ironically enough, it landed on Spark again. "Knock, knock." Blaze said, tapping the bottle with his hoof. "Well, darn." Spark said. "Guess I'd be a wuss if I chose dare." "Almost as much of a wuss as me." Blaze commented. Spark nodded his head in agreement and broke free of Pinkie's embrace as he sat forward, as if he were about to retell an old Greek epic. Damn, this is starting to get out of hand. This is suppose to be a fun time. Now these two are arguing again. Figures. "Well, let me tell you a thing, Blaze, so you'll finally shut up about me being such an ass all the time." Spark said. That was suppose to be his third strike, but everypony was too captivated in the current events that no pony said anything. "When I was born, I was granted life, but I wasn't exactly living it. My parents were...not very wealthy. They had me in a crappy neighborhood filled with run down houses, businesses, and bad, bad people. After five years of that hell, my deadbeat father decided to split, and it was just me and my mom living alone, still in the same awful situation. Long story short, things never got better, she got fired from her minimum wage job and eventually lost the poor excuse of a shack we lived in, leaving her with a hungry 10-year-old son and no home or future to look forward to. We had to beg for money on the streets like some kind of helpless animals at the mercy of the people around us. I was usually left by myself while my mom looked for any kind of work, leaving me to venture the streets by myself." He stopped to give a light chuckle. "And let me tell ya, you find some pretty colorful characters on the streets of the Shores. Not too kind either. Now, that was news to me. My mother may have been broke, but she at least raised me to be respectful. I learned real quick that stuff doesn't fly when you're barely surviving. I had to be just as mean and nasty and unforgiving as the rest of those jokers on the streets." He let out a long sigh. "Then, as somewhat of a blessing in disguise, my mother was killed by some low life trying to make it on his own just like we were. I lost all guidance I had, and I decided to turn myself in to an orphanage. It got me off the streets and away from the constant danger, but replaced my life with an even crappier alternative than when I was born. I retained my anger and aggression from my time on the streets, which led to me not getting adopted any time soon. In fact, I was there for five years." He stopped to shake his head with a smirk. "Worst five years of my life. God, everything about it was awful. The adults were idiots, the food was literal slop, and the other orphans there were all jerks. So, I had to compete. Eat or be eaten. Anyway, through all that they somehow managed to have a working TV, and a half-working internet connection. Don't ask me how a place as crappy as that had all that. No one really ever watched the TV, so I decided why not waste my life watching something that'll rot my mind even more than it already was. Though, what I found was nothing of the sort. I found this one show." He chuckled. "This one show that aired every Saturday. Man, it just turned my life completely around. I was still a crappy person, but it made life there one hundred percent more tolerable. I actually looked forward to waking up everyday. That was something I hadn't done in a very long time. It helped me through the rest of the time I was forced to spend there. After all those years, I eventually got old enough to move out on my own, and I was my own man. Nothing to hold me back and a brighter life ahead of me." He leaned back in complete and utter relaxation. "And now, life is so great I don't even need that old show anymore. I can't even fall asleep anymore because reality is finally better than my dreams." He caught himself going off on a tangent and looked to Blaze. "So to answer your question, that's why I'm such an uncultured, vulgar prick." Everypony was absolutely speechless. Blaze had a look of admiration, apology, and embarrassment all wrapped into one on his face. After many minutes of silence, "Wow..." was all Blaze could muster as a rebuttal. "Yep, pretty amazing right? The life of Spark." Spark said, still laid back nonchalantly. I couldn't understand it. The guy just told the eight of us his life story, and he was so...cool about it, as if it were nothing. How could he retell something as sad as that and not have any reaction to it? Another long silence plagued us once more, leaving only the desolate crackling of the fire as we all stared into the bright flames. Finally, Rarity spoke up. "Doesn't telling us all this...bring back any bad memories?" Rarity asked what we were all thinking. "Oh, of course it does." Spark said leaning forward once more. "I just choose to not care about it anymore. It's all in the past, and it has nothing to do with what I'm doing now, or what I will be doing tomorrow or the next week or the next month or..." He began to chuckle. "Even the next year. I can laugh about all this now, and you know why?" He asked, but no pony gave an answer. "Because I'm surrounded by...you guys." He wrapped an arm around Pinkie, and she returned the gesture with another tight embrace. "My best friends. I'm the happiest man alive because of you all. Why would I want to dwell on the past and ruin that?" He had an incredible point. Holy shit. Spark just told us all this and even provided a lesson in philosophy. Blaze should ask him these things more often. "Well, what's everyone's deal?" Spark asked. "You're all sitting there like I just grew a second head. Let's continue the game!" He looked to Blaze. "I believe it's my turn?" "Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah." Blaze rolled the bottle over to Spark and he placed it on the ground. He spun it and it stopped facing toward Applejack. "Truth or dare?" He asked. As they continued with the game, I looked to Rainbow Dash. She was just as surprised as I was at the whole situation. "I wasn't expecting that." She whispered to me. "Like, at all." "Me neither." I agreed. "I guess Blaze can bring out the worst and the best in him." "I guess." Dash said. I looked around at everypony as they laughed lightheartedly at Applejack's failed attempt at a hand stand. It seemed there was almost a complete recovery from Spark's revelation, and everypony was back to their normal, happy selves. At least something heavy like that didn't have a long lasting effect on the party. I thought. After Applejack finally succeeded in doing a hand stand, she spun the bottle, it stopped on Pinkie Pie, and the game continued as normal. "Truth or dare?" After many more hours of random shenanigans and goofing around at the fire together, we all decided to call it a night and go back home. Mostly because Pinkie ended up putting so many marshmallows in the fire that it got put out and we couldn't start it back again, but oh well. It was still one hell of a night. We ended the night with many goodbye's and hugs, even though we knew we'd probably all see each other the next day. Perhaps the longest goodbye was Pinkie and Spark, who spent several minutes making out behind a tree while everypony else was forced to listen to their lips smacking as they left. Eventually, the only ones left were Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Blaze, and I to listen to the two's passionate kissing. "Well isn't that just..." Dash trailed off. "Sweet? I'm thinking sweet isn't the right word there." "Gross." Blaze said. "Yeah, that's probably more accurate." Dash said. "Well I, for one, am happy for them." Fluttershy said. "It's not everyday you find the one you truly love." "I guess we're all exceptions." I smiled, and wrapped an arm around Dash. She moved closer to me, and we continued to watch the two lovers in intense lip locking. Spark spied us and suddenly stopped kissing Pinkie. "You know, you guys can go ahead." Spark yelled to us. "Yeah!" Pinkie yelled back excitedly. "We're gonna be here for a while!" And with that, she continued the tongue-on-tongue onslaught with Spark. Blaze chuckled. "It's probably a good idea to go ahead and leave. Spark told me that when they make out they make out. Like, for a while." I snickered. "Well, good news for us. I don't know how much longer I could have stood watching that." I said. "Well, I'll see you all later. I'm going to go back to my cottage." Fluttershy said. "Oh, I'll walk you home." Blaze offered. Fluttershy blushed. "Thank you." she said, and kissed him on the cheek. He was in an obvious state of bliss. Dash giggled at Blaze. "Well, we're gonna head on home too. See you two later." With one final wave goodbye, Fluttershy and Blaze walked along together back toward Fluttershy's cottage to end the night. I smiled at Dash. "You ready to go?" She nodded, and took off into the air as I followed shortly after. "So what do you think those two will be up to tonight?" I asked Dash as we flew, referring to Fluttershy and Blaze. "I don't know." Dash replied. "They might go as far as any normal couple would." She smiled back at me. "Hey, shut up." I laughed. "What else was I suppose to say? Tell everypony about what we do in excruciating detail?" "No!" Dash giggled. "I just wasn't expecting an answer like that. That was pretty clever of you to say she only had one question." "Yeah," I laughed. "Smooth right?" Dash just giggled again and we continued on our way back to the house. It was well into the very late hours of the night by the time the fire had gone out, and Dash and I were the only ones left in the sky. We continued our small talk as we flew back to the house. As the flight went on, it seemed like something was troubling her, like she was anticipating something terrible coming. I figured my exhaustion was just playing tricks on my mind and quickly dismissed the thought. We eventually arrived at the house, and I immediately collapsed on the soft cloud floor. "Oh, so comfy." I purred. "Come on, sleepyhead." Dash laughed. "The bed will be much more comfortable." "I don't want to." I groaned. "What's the point of going to bed when the floor is just as soft?" "Because I'll be there." Dash said with a convincing flare in her voice. I looked up at her. "You raise a good point." I reluctantly raised myself from the floor and smiled at her. She just laughed and smiled back before giving me a peck on the cheek. When she brought her head back from the kiss, her face wore a slightly more serious look. "Flash, I need to tell you something." She said solemnly. Uh oh, what could this be? "Uh, sure, what is it?" I asked her, searching her eyes for any sign of sadness, but all I found was an apparent nervousness. "Let's go to our room and talk." She said, leading the way to the bedroom. As we walked in and took a seat on the cloud mattress, I was starting to get a little nervous myself. I looked to her seriously. "Is everything okay?" I asked as I continued to scan her eyes for anything that might show me why she was acting so strange. She looked at me with the largest eyes I had ever seen her use on me. "You love me, don't you?" She asked. "What?" I asked, dumbfounded that she would even ask a question like that. "Of course I do!" I smiled warmly at her. "Why would you even question it?" She blushed with a light smile. "That's what I was hoping you'd say." "Of course, Dash." I leaned in and returned the kiss on the cheek from earlier. "You are the most perfect mare I have ever met." That made her blush even harder, and she looked to the floor. "Good, because there's something I need to tell you-" "I mean, without you, my life would be just so incredibly dull." "That's sweet, but I-" "You are so beautiful in every way, and I could never ask for anypony better." "Thank you-" "I will always stay with you, no matter-" "Flash, I'm pregnant." Dash suddenly said, interrupting my entire thought process, wrecking it with a train, blowing it apart, smashing it to the ground, and stomping on it to put out the ashes. My entire world was flipped with those three words. I stayed silent for a few moments, just staring blankly at Rainbow Dash as she sat there with an increasingly worried expression on her face. "F-Flash?" She asked. I could see the tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She put her face in her hooves. "I'm sorry...I-" I stopped her mid sentence to bring her into a tight, loving embrace. "Why would you be?" I asked her. I could feel the tears wipe themselves off on my shoulder. "I...I don't know." She sounded surprised at my ecstatic tone. "I...I thought maybe you would be mad or something." I let her go and looked into her eyes, my hooves glued to her shoulders. "No, not at all. This is...this is great!" I said excitedly with a bit of a laugh. She let out a nervous chuckle as well. "Really?" "Are you kidding?" I asked, looking to her belly and back into her eyes. "Knowing that I'm going to be...a dad...and you're the mother. That's just... insane." I said with another laugh. I brought her into another embrace, and she gladly returned the gesture. "This is amazing, Dash." I said. "I love you." She hugged me tighter and began to giggle, as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "I love you too, Flash." We were still hugging minutes later when I suddenly pulled us apart. "Wait, wait. Does this mean we can't, you know...do fun stuff anymore?" I asked with sincere worry in my voice. She began laughing. "Well, I don't know. I don't really see why not." "I don't either." I smiled, and pulled her in for a long kiss. After a few moments of passionate bliss, I started working my way down and began kissing her neck, rewarding me with a giddy giggle from Dash. She gently pushed me away, still laughing. "Right now, seriously?" She laughed. "What? Bad timing?" I asked. "We just did this a few nights ago, and we're both already exhausted from the night we just had. On top of all that you just now found out I'm pregnant." Dash said. "Bad timing." I confirmed. Dash smiled and gave me another kiss on the lips. "You're too cute." "Well, I try." I smiled back. I suddenly yawned. "You're right. All this excitement about the baby made me forget how tired I am." "See? You'd tire out before we could even get to the fun part." Dash teased. I smiled and playfully hit her shoulder. "Let's just get to sleep, prego." She smiled and stuck her tongue out at me as she hopped under the covers. "Watch it, Flashy boy." She said. "There's still plenty of time for us to do anything we want in the morning. I'd hate for you to ruin that opportunity." She winked at me. I couldn't get into the bed fast enough. She smiled and turned facing the other way while I snuggled closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. She scooted her butt into my crotch and let her tail lay loosely between my legs. I heard her let out one final sigh. "Goodnight, Flash." "Night, Dash." I said, and dug my face farther into her rainbow mane. This really was one hell of a night. I spent the whole time with eight of my closest friends, had a blast with all of them, and the night finished with Dash telling me that she's pregnant. She's pregnant. Because of me. Me. A father. Even in my mind, the words seemed too foreign to me. I question once again whether I was ready for something like this, and immediately dismissed the ill thought. I knew I was. With Dash here, how hard could raising a child be, right? Right? > 35. Lunar Dreams > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I walked jubilantly through Ponyville in an even better mood than usual. Whether it was the peaceful summer day that made my day, or if I just woke up on the right side of the bed, it really didn't matter to me. I was extremely happy nonetheless, and as I made my way over to Blaze and Spark's house, I knew today was going to be absolutely great in every way possible. The birds were happily chirping in the trees around me, the cool summer breeze blew gently against my fur, and the sun was shining proudly without a cloud in the sky. This day truly was perfect in every- I suddenly stopped mid trot and looked to the tiled pathway in absolute horror of my sudden realization. No, no, no! It can't be! How could this happen!? "I missed the fun time Dash promised in the morning!" I yelled out into the empty sky, which would have seemed odd if the streets around me had been occupied. It was a little strange that no pony was out and about yet... But never mind that; I missed out on what could have been one of the best times of my life! How could I possibly miss what I was looking forward to since last night? How??? It was amazing how missed sex can turn any man's good day into an absolute tragedy. I mean, I woke up with her this morning! How could she forget? How could I forget??? What did I even do this morning? I know I woke up and I...I woke up and... My mind suddenly became a barren wasteland of lost thought and confusion as I tried to remember my morning and where I went wrong. When did I even wake up? The more I thought about the situation, the more I realized that I never even remembered waking up this morning, let alone how I even got in the middle of town! I looked all around me and took notice of the extreme absence of ponies roaming around. It looked like I was the only one here...What is going on here? I continued through town, the happy trot abandoning me as I walked with caution and wariness. I looked around nervously at the perfect blue sky and the vibrant colors of my surroundings, as if they could attack me and leave me for dead at any moment. What was going on? This day is beyond perfect, no pony at all is walking around, and I don't remember waking up today. Did I get hammered without knowing it or what? Then, it hit me. And by that I mean I suddenly slammed face first into the side of a building while I was walking blindly, sending me recoiling back onto the ground. I groaned and began to rub my already bruised face gently...that is, until I realized that slamming straight into a brick wall didn't seem to hurt at all. I looked up to the monstrous building that towered over Ponyville. When did that get there? Why didn't that hurt? Where even am I??? I got off the ground and observed the strange building. It looked like a huge office that you would find in a large city, making it stand out like a sore thumb among the many rural houses in Ponyville. I shook my head violently to make sure I wasn't seeing things and sure enough, it was still there in all of its industrial glory. I put my hoof to my forehead and thought for a moment. Seriously, what is happening here? This is all so weird. First I can't remember anything, and now this? It's like some kind of strange dream or something... My eyes suddenly widened and my mind felt like it unlocked the secrets of the universe when the realization finally hit me like a freight train. "Oh! I'm dreaming!" I exclaimed. It all made so much sense now! I should have known from the beginning. I face hoofed from my own stupidity. "I'm really, really dumb." I looked back to the building after I was done with my enlightenment. This still didn't explain the building...Why would I randomly dream this thing up in the middle of town? Wait a second! I'm dreaming! That means I can do whatever I want! I thought, derailing my prior worries about the ominous office building. What should I do first? I thought with a hoof to my chin. Oh, I know! I knew exactly what I wanted. I looked to one spot on the side of the street and focused hard for a few moments. I hope this works... In only a few seconds, there was a certain rainbow colored pony materializing before me. I smiled devilishly. Excellent. "Hey, Rainbow Dash." I greeted the dreamworld Dash. She looked to me with a sexy smile and began striding over. "Hey, Flashy Boy." I smiled back and said, "You know, we missed our little 'appointment' this morning." "Oh, did we now?" She asked with a lustful look on her face. She wrapped her hooves around me and she looked straight into my eyes, our snouts connected like magnets. "Guess we'll have to do something about that, huh?" Her warm breath on my lips was almost enough to convince me that this wasn't a dream. Almost. She pushed me onto my back, and she stood over me as I lay on the ground, ready for whatever this dream had in store for me. She leaned down toward me and I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the sweet kiss. The thing is, I kept waiting. After a few moments of nothing, I opened my eyes to see what was wrong. Where I was expecting to see Dash looking down to me, I saw none other than the Princess of the Night standing over me with an amused look on her face. "Hello, White Flash." She greeted. "Ah! What the hell?" I screamed, scrambling back away from the confused princess. I backed up to the building and sat against the wall, trying to regain my composure. I looked to the princess with my hoof to my chest as I breathed heavily. "Princess Luna? What are you doing here? You scared the living crap out of me!" I said. Despite the fact that she had made my heart leap out of my chest, I was actually stunned to actually see Princess Luna in real life. "Oh, please forgive me. It was my bad." She said a little awkwardly, as if the words were foreign in her mouth. I sighed and got off of the ground, recovered from the sudden turn of events. I can't believe I was just cock blocked in a dream. "It's fine." I said. "What are you doing here?" "Oh, no reason really." Luna said. "My sister told me about you humans coming here and how you helped save the Elements of Harmony, and I was just curious about you. I've been meaning to visit one of you for a while now, but I have been busy with other duties." "So, what, you just wanted to meet me and the only way was in my dreams?" I asked. "Precisely." She said with a smile. I looked around awkwardly, then finally threw my hooves into the air. "Well, I'm here, and we met. Now what?" "Well, uh..." She trailed off, thinking of what to say next. "Tell me about yourself. What is life like on this 'earth'? What is your history? How do humans work?" "Whoa, one question at a time here." I said, trying to process the barrage of questions Luna threw at me. "Let's start with the beginning. Earth is where humans live. It's the only planet in our solar system that can support us. "Why is this?" She asked. "Because it's the only planet with enough oxygen and water." I explained. "And why do you need that?" "I don't know, that's just how it works." I said, pausing for a few moments. "Are you going to ask why to everything I say?" "Most likely." Luna said with a smile. "I wish to know all I can." I sighed. "Alright." This is going to be a long explanation. Rainbow Dash leaned ever so closer to Flash, looking into his closed eyes the entire time. This was sure to be fun. She could do whatever she wanted in a dream, and she was going to take advantage of it. She was inches away from his sweet lips when he suddenly disappeared. And in his place was...Princess Luna? "Hello, Rainbow Dash." Luna greeted happily. "What the heck?" Rainbow Dash jumped back into the air in surprise. How did Luna get here!? "I see you and White Flash were having much of the same dream." She said. "I...wait, what?" Rainbow Dash asked, her face turning red as she hovered above the ground. "Flash was dreaming about me?" "Yes. I assume you felt him as if it were real life?" Luna asked. "Well, uh, I guess." Dash said. "If you can truly feel somepony in your dream, that means they are also dreaming of you." She said. "Well, thanks for the fun fact, but why exactly are you here, Princess?" Rainbow Dash asked, starting to get annoyed. Princess Luna got up from the ground. "Yes, well, about that." She said. She turned toward the massive building that Rainbow Dash saw earlier, but payed no mind to it. "Do you see this?" "Kinda hard to miss it." Rainbow Dash said. "There are some things I need to show you." Luna said, waving Rainbow Dash over to her. "Follow me." After what felt like hours of explaining the very foundation and history of human life as I knew it, Princess Luna was content with her knowledge and flew off, hopefully out of my dreams for good. I sat on the ground, somehow tired even though technically I had been asleep the entire time. Explaining human nature is exhausting! And why did Luna even want to know all that? I thought she already would have known, seeing as she's a princess and all. Why wouldn't Celestia tell her? Should I have even told her? I mean, she's a princess. Surely she's trustworthy with that information. It's probably no big deal. I sighed. No need to worry. I'm sure it's nothing. She was just curious is all. I looked around my dream world as I was left alone once more. Now, where was I before all this..? I looked back to where I was and focused once more. This time, however, nothing happened. "Ah, come on." I said to myself. "It's my dream. How is this not working?" I kept trying harder and harder to make another dream Dash, but nothing came out of it. I closed my eyes tightly and thought as hard as I could to manipulate my dream. I opened my eyes again, and to my disappointment, she was not there. In fact, nothing was there. My entire dream had dissipated into complete darkness. More specifically, the complete darkness of the bedroom in the middle of the night. I sighed at the realization that I had woken up and closed my eyes again in an attempt to fall back to the warm grip of sleep Maybe when I wake up again, the morning will be better than that stupid dream. Maybe the day will be even more perfect than I could imagine. I chuckled to myself. Listen to me. I sound like Spark. What was that he said? He couldn't get to sleep because reality is better than his dreams? He had a pretty good point there. I should take note of that. I looked beside me and barely made out the outline of Dash sleeping peacefully in the darkness, her chest rising and falling in a monotonous rhythm each and every time. I smiled at her and snuggled deeper into the soft cloud bed and let out one huge yawn. Spark's right though; I don't need dreams. All I would ever want is right here with me. And no part of my imagination can ever make it any better. > 36. Our Little Secret > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next morning arrived in what seemed to be no time. I awoke groggily, slowly blinking away my sleepiness. I groaned as I rolled over to see Rainbow Dash sleeping soundly beside me peacefully, her chest rising and falling calmly with each breath. I smiled and rolled back over to face the opposite direction. For some reason, I was already in a good mood today. Maybe the happiness from my dream carried over into real life? Anyway, I felt well rested and didn't really want to wake Dash up, so I decided to climb out of bed and make my way into the front room. As I walked out into the living room, I stretched wide and looked around for the time. It was already noon. Somehow I had slept half of the day already. Oh well, it's not that big of a deal. It's not like I had any set plans for today or anything. I could spend the day doing absolutely nothing and I'd be perfectly fine with it; it just seemed like one of those kinds of days. I walked into the kitchen and over to the cabinet to grab a quick snack to pass off as breakfast, and began idly chowing down as I got lost in my own thoughts. I wonder why today seems...special for some reason. I mean, I usually wake up in a good mood anyway, but today seems even brighter than usual. It had to be that dream, right? I guess the happiness from the dreamed up summer day had a lasting effect. There was also that deal with Luna asking me about humans out of no where. I really hope I did the right thing by telling her... Oh, who am I kidding? She's a princess, after all. It's not like I gave information vital to my survival to a malicious superpower. Trolling is Celestia's job anyway. As I finished up the last of my "breakfast", I heard the soft clip-clop of hooves coming down the hall and into the living room. I turned around to face the familiar sound and sure enough, there was Rainbow Dash walking groggily down the hallway, her mane sticking out in several places and her eyes struggling to blink away the sleepiness. "Morning, Sunshine." I greeted with a smile. "Morning." She greeted with a large yawn and a rub of her eyes. She looked at me strangely for a moment or two as if she had no idea who I was, then continued on her way into the kitchen. "Uh, is something wrong, Dash?" I asked, a little worried. She looked at me. "What? Oh no, no. Sorry, I just had a...weird dream last night is all." She said a bit nervously. "Really? You had a weird dream last night?" I asked, becoming a bit intrigued at the situation. "So did I." "Oh, uh, really?" She asked. "What was it about?" "Well," I began. "it started out with me walking through town on a summer day and it was really happy. Then, I realized I was in a dream because no pony was walking around. Well, and there was a random sky scraper in the middle of town." "Wait, a sky scraper?" Rainbow Dash asked with a bit of alarm. "Um, yeah." I said, a little surprised at her sudden worry. "Why?" "There was a sky scraper in my dream too." She said. "What happened next?" "Well, uh, then Princess Luna suddenly appeared." I said, leaving out the part where I spawned a dream Dash. Rainbow Dash stepped closer to me. "That happened in my dream too." She said, looking to the ground then back at me. "What next?" "Um, well, she asked me some really weird questions." I said, trying not too give too much information about the subject. "What kind of questions?" Dash pried. "What were they about?" "Uh, just about me, I guess. She wanted to get to know me." I said, which wasn't a complete lie. Her sudden interrogation was beginning to worry me. Dash looked to me. "Are you sure that's all?" "Yeah, why?" I asked, looking back at her. "Is something wrong?" "Well..." Rainbow Dash looked around the room as if she were looking to see if anypony else was there to eavesdrop. "Last night when Luna visited my dream, she told me some things. About you." My heart immediately fell into my stomach, bounced around, then shot up into my throat. A million things were going through my mind at once. Luna asked me about being a human, and then she goes and tells Rainbow Dash about it, all in our dreams?!?! I thought I could trust her! She's a princess for God's sake! Why would she tell Rainbow Dash about my secret? "Oh, really?" I tried to play it off, but I ended up sounding like I was about to cry. "Yeah," She said. "She said something about you...not being a pony?" "What?" I laughed nervously. I didn't want to say too much for fear that I would accidentally give away the truth. "Yeah, weird right?" Dash said. "She said that you were something called a human. And you used to live a whole different life on your...earth, until one day Celestia teleported you here to be happier, make friends, and live a better life." ... ... Well, at least she left out that this entire world is actually just a TV show. That's the only thing I got going for me. I had absolutely no words. I was left there looking blankly into Dash's adorable, yet concerned eyes as I stood silently, searching my mind for any kind of feasible response. All I could manage was a fit of unbelievably tense laughter. I began to laugh louder and wilder, beginning to get a few chuckles from Dash as well. I continued laughing until she was giggling just as if I had told her a stupid joke. "Yeah, that seems kinda stupid." Dash reasoned through her laughter. "Definitely." I chuckled. "A whole different world? Where did she get that from?" "Yeah, I thought it was a little silly." Dash said. "Especially when she said that most humans resolve their conflicts by...killing each other." She shuddered. "I can't even imagine that. It's a good thing it's not true." She walked over to the cabinet and got something to eat. I paid no attention to what it was because I was too busy staring off into space. Holy mother of God that was close. She almost figured me out. I just dodged a nuclear warhead right there. I looked back at her and she was fixing herself a plate of oats, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was nearly losing my mind on the inside. Why the hell would Luna tell her? Why?? I tried to calm myself with a few deep breaths. It's okay, it's okay. It's over, and she doesn't know. I'm good. I'll just need to ask Luna about it later. That is, if I ever see her again. Rainbow Dash turned to me, still chowing down. "So, what's on the agenda today?" "Well, uh, I don't know." I said, trying to shake off the past few minutes. "I didn't have any plans at all, really. I figured I would just kinda do whatever until the end of the day." "So, you're saying you have nothing to do all day, huh?" Dash asked, finishing up the last of her oats. "So does that mean you have the whole day free?" I shrugged. "Pretty much. Why?" I asked. "Oh, no reason." She said, putting her plate away and stepping closer to me. "It's just, we haven't been out together in a while, and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to spend the day together." She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around me. "Just the two of us." I blinked away my past nervousness and looked into her eyes. "Of course. I'd love to, Dash." She smiled and kissed me. "Well then, how would you like to start this day together?" "Any way you want." I said with a smile. "Oh, really?" She asked. "Any way at all?" I kissed her and smiled. "Any way at all." Dash looked deep into my eyes and smiled once more, her cuteness giving me chills. "Well, this is going to be a fun morning." She pulled me in for yet another kiss and held it for a good thirty seconds before pulling away. "A very fun morning." I smiled and let out a small chuckle. Any inkling of doubt in the back of my mind about Rainbow Dash believing Luna was completely lost as I stared into her eyes. I knew today was going to be great. > 37. Blaze's Lazy Day > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just ten more minutes. Then I'll get up. ... Ten more minutes... ... Just a little while longer... This was the philosophy Blaze lived by for the past few hours as his subconscious waged a mental battle between staying in bed and falling back into sweet, blissful sleep. Through bloodshot eyes, he groggily peered past his blanket and up to the clock hanging crookedly on the wall. He had already slept half of the day away, and yet he still felt as if he had spent the last few hours running a mini marathon. "Ugh, crap." Blaze groaned as he rolled over in bed, shoving his face further into the pillow in an attempt to gain a few more minutes of rest before he had to... "Wait a second." Blaze thought aloud, "I don't have to do crap today!" He rejoiced with a swift pump in the air with both hooves to signify his victory. Figuring out that he could just lay in bed all day was the best news he had received all week. With a smile, he quickly brought the blankets tighter over him, and snuggled up warmly against the soft pillows to fall back to sleep... That is, if only he could get to sleep. "You've gotta be kidding me." Blaze said through the pillow, turning over to face the ceiling with an annoyed frown. "I'm not even tired anymore. How does that even happen?" He let out an exasperated sigh and began to lose himself in thought once more. "Well I'm awake. Might as well do something." He put a quizzical hoof to his chin. "But what?" Then, as if by magic, the light in Blaze's head suddenly flickered to life and he screamed to the heavens, "I'm home alone! Spark's not here to tell me what to do! I can do whatever I want!!!" He smiled devilishly and looked over to the food cabinet that held all of Spark's "off-limits" snacks." He tiptoed over to the cabinet as if he was afraid he'd be caught, then slowly opened it to reveal the treasure gleaming treasure inside. "My God..." Blaze whispered, reaching inside to retrieve one of the small packaged cakes that Spark had purchased from the market. "It...it's beautiful." He took a long look at the packaging that read, "Salt Kakes" It didn't sound like the tastiest thing in the world, but Blaze knew it was like heaven in his mouth. He quickly ripped the flimsy packaging away and stuffed the small cake into his mouth, sending him into a state of pure euphoria. "These things are like Twinkies for ponies." Blaze said as he finished chewing and swallowed the last of the snack. He was about to reach for another, but immediately stopped himself. "Wait, I shouldn't take too many. I don't want Spark to notice when he gets back." He hesitantly shut the cabinet and turned away from it, attempting to free his mind from thoughts of the delicious treats that lay mere feet away from him. "What to do now..." He said. Everything he had ever dreamed of doing was already accomplished. "What else does Spark hate that I do..." "HOLY CRAAAAAP!!!" Blaze screamed as he rode his mattress down the stairs, his voice faltering from the constant bumping. Halfway down, the mattress caught on one of the steps and flipped, taking Blaze with him. Within a split second, Blaze was tumbling town the stairs with a very large mattress throwing him around like a rag doll. When he finally hit the bottom, he skidded across the floor on the mattress with a horrified look on his face. "That. Was. AWESOME!!!" He hopped off of the mattress and began jumping up and down in pure excitement. "I don't know why I don't do this more often!" He happily cantered over to the cabinet of Spark's snacks and grabbed another Salt Kake. "I'm sure Spark won't notice if I take just one more..." "My kingdom!" Blaze shouted from the top of the stairs, overlooking the many various bed sheets and clothes that draped over the staircase and floor, creating a pretend castle. He smiled at his hard work, an overwhelming sense of pride washing over him. He had just single-handedly created an entire castle from bed sheets in as little as two hours. Upon realization of the childish act he just committed, Blaze began to shake his head in disappointment. "What is life?" "I'm sure he won't notice if just a few more of those Salt Kakes go 'missing.'" Blaze said as he grabbed an armful of the delicious cakes. He was starving so what else was he going to do? Make food? And besides even if Spark did notice the small decrease in his favorite snacks, they could always get more. Blaze threw one cake into the air and caught it in his mouth, chewing it up happily. "I'm so glad Spark isn't home to see all this. He'd kick my ass." Blaze lay on the floor, completely stuffed and covered in empty plastic packages. "Ugh." He groaned, rolling over and slowly getting to his feet. He stumbled a bit and shook his head, burping immediately afterward. "What time is it?" He looked to the clock, now on the floor, and he was astonished. "I passed out for three hours?" He smiled. "Nice." He walked over to the fridge and brought out a grape soda, downing it in seconds. "I need something amazing to top this day off and make it the most perfectly counterproductive day ever." He said after crushing the can and tossing it to the side. He thought for a few moments before the idea suddenly hit him. He knew exactly what he'd do; something he loved doing but Spark hated. Something he hadn't done since he was a human... Blaze began tapping his hoof on the ground in a rhythmic beat to the tune he hummed loudly. He was going to enjoy this. He began to smile and move his body to the beat he had created, humming even louder as his grand entrance approached. "I'm not a fan of puppeteers, but I have a nagging someone else is pulling at the strings!" Blaze sang loudly, laughing at his freedom. "Something terrible is going down, through the entire town, wreaking anarchy and all it brings!" He began moving his entire body even more and grabbed a nearby bottle to use as a makeshift microphone. "I can't sit idly, no I can't move at all! But I curse the name, the one behind it alllllllllllll!!!" He paused, readying himself for the greatest chorus of all time... He took a great gasp of air, and- "BLAZE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?" A very loud, very pissed off voice interrupted Blaze's moment, causing him to lose concentration and his chorus to fall flat. "Crap." Blaze said to himself, looking up to see Spark standing in the doorway with a face contorted in pure rage. He looked to either side of him to see a heap of empty Salt Kake packages and a mattress covered in random bed sheets across the floor. Upon realization of just how screwed he was, Blaze screeched in absolute terror. "Crap!" "I'm going to give you ten seconds to explain to me what the fuck this mess is all about." Spark said with a huff of anger. "Well, uh, you, uh, you see, I-" Blaze faltered. He literally had no explanation for anything he had done today. "Ten, nine, eight..." Spark began counting angrily. "Okay wait! I was home alone so I decided to have a little fun, that's all! Since you weren't here I was just doing stuff that you usually hate because I could! I didn't think you would mind because you were gone and now you're back and I was going to clean it all up, and, and..." He looked to the still enraged Spark. "SO YOU ATE ALL MY FUCKING SALT KAKES?!?!?" He screamed. "Well, uh, yeah." Blaze said timidly. "I didn't think you'd notice if a few went missing." "YOU RAIDED THE ENTIRE FUCKING CABINET, DIPSHIT!!! OF COURSE I'M GOING TO FUCKING NOTICE!!!" Blaze looked beside him to see the barren wooden cabinet with cake packages littering the floor below it. "Okay, maybe I did eat a few more than I thought..." "FUCK!!!" Spark stomped the ground in anger repeatedly before finally stopping and sighing in defeat. "You know what? It's my fault." "It is?" Blaze asked, more surprised than anything. "Of course. I should have known I can't leave you here alone without you doing something incredibly idiotic." He sighed and pointed to the lone mattress. "Like, I don't even want to know what the fuck happened there." "I, uh...rode it down the stairs." Blaze said simply. "Goddammit, Blaze." Spark said. "You are a fucking train wreck waiting to happen." Blaze just shrugged. "Sorry." Spark sighed once more. "No, it's fine. Just clean this shit up and get ready to go into town." "Why?" Blaze asked. Spark simply just picked up an empty Salt Kake package and Blaze got the idea. "Alright, alright." Blaze said, gathering all of the bed sheets together. "Oh, and by the way, Blaze." Spark said, getting Blaze's attention. "I'm howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon." Spark said. Blaze grinned and started, "Discord-" "Shut the fuck up and get to work." Spark said with a grimace, and made his way upstairs to get away from the pit of a living room Blaze had created. Blaze just smiled and began picking up all the loose bed sheets and wrappers. Totally. Worth it. > 38. You Did What?? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Princess Celestia began her stress filled day just like any other; catering to the many needs, requests, and general concerns of her subjects. They were the usual complaints that were given to her everyday; noise complaints, petty crimes committed, small arguments between friends that are more often than not resolved within an hour or so, and other random things that the princess didn't really consider to be worth her time. She had plenty of other, more important issues to be taking care of, however, if she ignored her subjects she knew it would only make the whole situation worse. She just had to get through these few more ponies and she could be back to her true worries... "I simply cannot believe my sister would hide all of that information from me." Luna thought aloud as she restlessly cantered around her private room. Ever since she had received all of human history from White Flash, her mind had progressed from carefree thoughts of this new found information to intense concern as to why this was not shared with her earlier. "It is not like this information could destroy our world or something ludicrous such as that. She halted her pacing around the room and put a hoof to her mouth in worry. "I hope I did not make a mistake by telling Rainbow Dash of this. Maybe I should converse with Celestia about this." She made her way to the door leading out into the hall and walked ever so slowly as the weight of her worry brought her pace to a crawl. "Why did you keep this from me?" After hours of catering to the many, many needs of the ponies of Equestria, Princess Celestia retired to her private quarters, where she could be left to think silently of her decision on what to do next. She shook her head. Sometimes being a princess was too much even for her. "Hello, sister!" Celestia was suddenly caught off guard to the new voice greeting her. "Hello, Luna." Celestia greeted as she turned toward her sister. "Is something wrong?" She asked as she noticed the worried look on her sister's face. "Not anything to worry you." Luna said. "I was just wanting to know the answer to something." Celestia let out a sigh of relief. "Go ahead." Luna paused for a few moments, as if she were afraid of her next words. "Why have you kept so much information from me?" Celestia wore a cowl of confusion. "What do you mean?" "I mean about the humans-" Before Luna could say another word, Celestia silenced her with a hoof. "Stop. Do not say more." She looked around to the royal guards that seemed oblivious to their conversation. "Meet me in my private study and we will speak more about this. But not out here." Luna began to object until she noticed the seriousness in her sister's voice. "Very well then. I shall see you soon." As Celestia led her sister through the halls of the palace toward her private study, a million thoughts raced through her mind. What could Luna possibly need to converse with me about the humans for? This will only add more fuel to the flames that are on their way. I just hope she hasn't- "So, why have you hidden all of this from me?" Luna interrupted her thoughts as they entered Celestia's study. "What ever do you mean?" She asked innocently. "I mean why have you kept everything about the humans a secret to me?" Luna demanded. "What do you mean, sister?" "You know what I mean!" Luna grew angry at her sister's attempt at naivety. "I learned all about the humans. How they act, what they do for recreation, their favorite interests. I just want to know why you kept it all a secret?" Celestia studied Luna's face for a few moments before letting out a sigh. "I didn't want to worry you." She replied. "Worry me with what, sister?" Luna asked. "How could it be so crucial that even I was not to know?" "I fear...there may be something coming." Celestia said simply. "Define 'something'." Luna said. "I don't know yet. I think it may be an evil of some sort. And it may have something to do with the humans." "And how do you know this?" Luna wore a look of sick worry. "I keep having dreams." Celestia began. "The same dreams every night of something spreading through Equestria and causing...unrest." "This is not good." Luna said. She stepped closer to her sister and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Well whatever it is, just know that I am here to help sister, and you can trust me with anything you may need. Celestia smiled. "Thank you, Luna. I will need your help. How did you find all of this information about the humans anyway?" Luna went pale. "Oh, um, I tricked White Flash into telling me because I was a princess. And then I told Rainbow Dash everything." "YOU DID WHAT????" Celestia practically screamed. "Calm yourself, sister." Luna consoled. "I do not think she believed me. Was I not supposed to tell anypony?" "No! You can never tell anypony of the humans! Do you realize what you could have done??" "I-I'm sorry." Luna said with a look of sincere apology. Celestia sighed. "I guess it will be okay just this once. At least she didn't believe you. But never tell anypony again. Okay?" "Understood." Luna said with an apologetic smile. Celestia sighed once more. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I have some planning to do. Get yourself some rest, sister and be ready for tomorrow. I will need your help." "Anything you need," Luna said. "I will be there." Celestia smiled again. "Thank you." Luna smiled back, this time a smile of happiness. "It is no problem. It is what sisters are for." And as Luna left her study, Celestia began to feel much better about the entire situation. My duties may be too much for one princess to handle, She thought. But with two, anything is possible. > 39. An Apology > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spark carefully made his way up the stairs, careful to avoid the mess that Blaze had so easily created in their house throughout the day. He looked around at the bed sheets strewn loosely over the railings of the balcony and their two beds with a grimace. It really did look like a tornado had come and gone throughout the house, leaving clothes, sheets, and cups thrown about, and furniture misplaced as they lay about the room. What the fuck is wrong with this dude, he thought with a shake of his head. Sometimes Blaze really got on his nerves, but he had to admit, it did look like he had fun doing...whatever it was he was doing. He wore a light smile as he stepped over the bed sheets and fell into his own bed. Then he remembered that Blaze had eaten all of his fucking Salt Kakes. "Motherfucker," he lamented aloud, completely replacing his lighthearted mood with the usual contempt and annoyance he harbored in his heart only for Blaze. He sighed and closed his eyes as he lay his head on the pillow. He listened to the sound of Blaze lightly singing under his breath as he continued to clean up the house. Once again, his face changed into that of carefree grin as he thought of his best friend. What a fucking bitch. "Hey, guys!" Suddenly, Spark was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of the front door slamming open and a small dragon exclaiming his salutations to the two ponies. "Spike!" Greeted Blaze, "What's up, dude? What have you been up to?" "Ah, you know," answered Spike, "The usual. Just living life. And helping Twilight with her new Alicorn magic." He rolled his eyes in annoyance thinking about the ordeal with Twilight. Then, he noticed the absolute catastrophe that was the house. "Whoa, what happened here? Did I miss another party?" He questioned with genuine worry in his voice. "Nope," Spark interjected with a hint of agitation in his voice, "Blaze just had himself a fucking loner fest." Blaze gave an awkward smile and shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I had fun." "Whatever you say, loser." Spark said with a grin as he lay his head back onto the pillow in his bed and put his arms behind his head in a relaxed pose. Blaze sighed as if to signal that he had given up trying to explain himself and turned to Spike. "Well, anyway, what brings you here, buddy?" "Well, I didn't have much going on today," Spike began with much excitement in his voice, "and I was just wondering if maybe you two would be down to make a trip with me to Canterlot to get some kind of..." He trailed off and looked at a note he had poorly written on his forearm, "Equestrian Lily Sap? I don't know, whatever it is, Twilight said you can only find it in Canterlot." He said, not totally sure of what exactly he was supposed to be finding." "Sure, I'm down." Blaze said with a grin. He looked to Spark with great enthusiasm. "What do you say, Spark? Wanna go on a little adventure with us?" Spark opened one eye and looked to the two as their pleading eyes stared back at him. "Yeah, sure. Not like I have anything better to do today." He got out of bed and popped his back. "As long as we're not there all fucking day. I need some time to relax. All of this magic bullshit Twilight has me doing is fucking exhausting." He began walking down the stairs when he suddenly tripped over a stray bed sheet that had been hung between the two railings. "OH FUCK!" Spark exclaimed loudly as he painfully tumbled down the stairs toward Blaze and Spike. He landed on the ground before them with a powerful thud and looked up to them with rage in his eyes. "Not a fucking word," was all he had to say about the situation. Meanwhile, Blaze and Spike were nearly exploding with giddiness as they tried to contain their uncontrollable laughter. Eventually, Blaze had calmed himself enough to utter coherent words without so much as a chuckle. "Well, I guess we better get-" "NICE TRIP, SEE YOU NEXT FALL!" Spike could no longer handle his emotions and erupted into a fit of laughter that seemed to take him over without remorse. "That's it, you little shit!" Spark picked up a nearby chair as his blue aura surrounded it, and began running toward Spike. "Uh oh" Spike barely had time to think before he was bolting away from Spark. The two continued to run circles around the house, Spike with a look of fear as Spark hunted him down with revenge in his eyes. Blaze thought there would never be an end to the chase when suddenly, Spike seemed to belch out a plume of fire that quickly dissolved into a letter into his hand. "Wait, Spark, stop!" Blaze interrupted their skirmish after seeing the letter appear in Spike's hand. "Why the fuck should I?" Spark questioned angrily as he held the chair above Spike, but quickly set it down out of the way when he saw the letter in Spike's hand. "What the fuck is that?" "It's...a...letter." Spike said obviously between exhausted breaths. "Probably...from...Celestia." "Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Open it!" Spark said excitedly. In all of his time in Equestria, he still had never seen Spike receive a letter from Celestia, so naturally, he was ecstatic at the new development. "Yeah, open it!" Blaze agreed, seemingly equally as excited as Spark. "Alright, alright." Spike said, having finally caught his breath after the intense chase. He cleared his throat, "Dear Reader?" He began with uncertainty. He skimmed the letter silently for a few moments before realizing, "This isn't from Celestia!" "It's not?" Spark asked with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Who is it from?" Blaze asked with genuine curiosity. Spike looked around the letter for a few moments. "It doesn't say." He said with confusion. "It looks like some kind of apology letter? And a crappy one at that." Spike reasoned as he continued to skim over the letter's contents. "This doesn't make any sense. I thought I could only get letters from Celestia." "That does seem a little weird." Blaze agreed. "Well, whoever the fuck wrote it," Spark chimed in, "Read it anyway." "Um, alright then." Spike said with uncertainty. He cleared his throat once more. "Dear Reader, First, I just want to say that I'm sorry. It's been over three years since the last update and that is just insane. I remember when I used to update this story regularly and enjoy writing it every time I did so. It was so much fun writing and seeing how much you guys either liked or didn't like it. I remember being blown away that people actually read my story, especially considering that it was my first story. I know that there were people that read this story every time a new chapter came out, and I just want to apologize to you guys (that is, if you guys are still here). I never forgot about this story, I just sort of drifted away from the fandom and even writing in general. It wasn't until a few days ago that I got the idea to check out this old story and see how it was doing. To be honest, I still could not believe I had over 1000 views. It instantly brought me back to what I felt when I had fun writing for an audience. I reread all of the story and realized that I didn't want to see it unfinished. I know, just now thinking that three years after the last update seems a bit odd and pointless, but my love for writing told me that I at least owe it to those who are willing to read to finish this story and leave it on a high note, rather than leaving it unfinished. What I want to say is that if you somehow see this in your notifications or something about an updated chapter, and you were one of the original viewers from years ago, let me know if you'd like me to continue this story. Even if you just now see this story for the first time, let me know what you think. I would try to put out chapters as regularly as possible, and try to make this story as interesting as fun as I can. I just want to know if I should continue this and see it to the end. If you've been here since the beginning and you're reading this, you're definitely something special, and I'd appreciate it if you gave this old story another chance. Thank you guys." The trio thought for a moment about the letter with an anonymous author. "Whoever it is, he seems like an asshole." Spark concluded with little interest. "Writing a story for people then leaving it unfinished? What a prick." "I don't know, Spark. He sounded genuinely sorry." Blaze said, then turned to Spike. "I don't suppose this letter was meant for us. Maybe we could take it to the post office on our way to Canterlot? I wouldn't want a letter like that to never make it to its destination." "That sounds like a good idea to me," agreed Spike, "Come on, guys. Let's go on an adventure!"