Through Crimson Eyes

by Level Dasher

Chapter 19: Progress

Five months… I can’t believe it… I’ve been here for five months.

Is it weird if I say that it’s been eventful, but really boring at the same time?

I’ve had a bunch of different chemo treatments— at least four, I think. The doctors kept bringing me in for scans after every few treatments to see how I was doing. As far as I’ve been told, I’m ‘moving in the right direction.’ I’m guessing that’s a good thing, but I can’t tell if they’re just saying that to make me feel better. Whenever the docs talk to my parents in the hall, they always get this serious expression. It makes me wonder…

Everypony in my class has come to see me at least once now, including Miss Turner. Even Boulder came once with Brick; now that was an awkward visit. Boulder didn’t stay long, but Brick made up for that.

Gramma came back from Baltimare for a few days for Hearth’s Warming. After ten more Scrabble games, we’re still tied. The holiday was… decent, I guess. I got some fun toys and games, but it’s not a lot of fun without a tree, and they wouldn’t let me put a small one in my room.

I finally finished The History of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. It took a while, but it was totally worth the read. Starry may already have his cutie mark, but that doesn’t mean Tess and I can’t drag him along on some fun crusades when I get outta here. I don’t think he would mind.

Amy and Rose came back as well. They had checkups with their doctors and stopped by before they left. I was glad to hear that their tests all came back with good results.

The docs took me off the ‘mud puddle’ chemo about a month ago. Apparently, I had a different kind of reaction than Blackhawk did when he was on it. That’s why he was allowed to go into the PonyLife room and I wasn’t. I guess that was all good for him, but it bothered the hay out of me.

After a fair amount of time on the ‘mud puddle’ chemo, my tests came back with better results, so they changed my treatments again. The one they put me on after that, the one I’m on now, isn’t too intense, so they eventually let me go back to the PonyLife room. After two months of lockdown, I finally made contact with Blackhawk and White Stripe. I was glad to see they were still here.

I last saw them about a week ago. Stripes galloped into the room at top speed; when I first saw him, he was practically bouncing. Once he calmed down, he told us that the doctors found a marrow donor for him. That was a great start to the day. Hopefully he’ll get what he needs and be out of here soon. It’ll stink not having him around, but I’d rather he not be sick. He said his transplant was supposed to start yesterday, and he’d spend about a week in the ICU to recover; he wouldn’t be allowed out until then.

Blackhawk, on the other hoof, still didn’t feel great. He looked the same way he did a couple of months ago: fine one second and a mud puddle the next. They hadn’t changed his treatments. He said he wasn’t feeling any better since then, which sucked. Then again, he didn’t seem to be any worse, either. Brick thought the same thing, but I don’t know if he’s a reliable source of info. I still think he doesn’t know everything, but that’s not his fault. And I still don’t think it’d be right for me to say anything about it.

I didn’t see Center Stage again, though. I’m pretty sure I know why, but any time I think about it, my mind drifts back to that vivid dream I had the day she played for me. I haven’t told anypony about that dream— especially not Mom or Tess.

There’s only one pony I would talk to about that, but I haven’t seen her lately. She may have been there, for all I know, but that wouldn’t be the first thing I’d talk about if I do see her; I just want to say hi. She’s probably busy.

“I… I’ve never seen her do that before!” Tess had burst through the door to my room in tears and jumped into my hooves. She was practically vibrating. “I mean, sh-she always told me not to be too close when she practiced, but I d-didn’t think something like that would happen!”

“Dark Alicorn magic? Woah…" I can’t blame Tess for freaking out over seeing her ma’s horn go black, especially since her mother isn’t an alicorn. I woulda freaked too if that happened to my mom. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure she didn’t mean to scare you. You shouldn’t’ve run like that, though. Your mom’s probably looking for you.”

Tess just stayed quiet for a minute before she looked up at me with tears still running down her cheeks. “H-How do you do it?”

“Huh? Do what?”

“H-How are you so… strong? You’ve been cooped up in here for five months, feeling like crud. You’ve got so many reasons to be scared. But you look fine, and you’re the one sitting here making me feel better! How do you do it?”

She caught me off guard with that one. “I, well…” I may not have been prepared for the question, but it didn’t take me long to get my answer. I smiled at her and said, “I have really great friends.”

Gradually, a smile of her own crept onto Tesla’s face. It didn’t last as long as I would have liked. “All this time… I thought you needed me here to help you feel better, but it’s actually me that—”

“Crimson, is everything okay in here? I thought I heard crying.” Mom poked her head through the door. I guess she hadn’t seen Tess come in, but she certainly saw the glare from Tess.

“Yeah. Tess’s mom gave her a bit of a scare,” I said.

“Oh my. Did Painted Pen finally—”

“Sounds like it. Could you go find her and tell her Tess is here, Mom?”

“Sure, sweetie. I’ll be right back. High Flyer is out here if you need him.”

“Thanks.”

After Mom closed the door, Tess made what sounded like a growl. I finally decided to ask her, “Hey, what’s going on with you and my mom? You haven’t exactly been on good terms with each other lately. Actually, it’s been a while now.”

Tess frowned, and I could have sworn she was about to cry again. “I… I don’t wanna talk about it right now, okay?”

“Well, alright, but you’re gonna hafta tell me eventually.” I had a feeling it had to do with what I heard in that dream; I wanted her to open up and tell me herself, but decided to let it go for now. Since the content of that conversation seemed to involve my… well, biting it, that was definitely not something to bring up at the moment. Tess was already pretty upset, and I figured I shouldn’t make it worse.

I turned my head to the door when it opened after a small knock; High Flyer poked his head in. “Hey, Crimson. I’m sorry to interrupt, but could you come with me for a moment?”

“What’s up?” I asked. “Do they wanna do another test or something?”

“No, not this time. I’d like you to come talk to somepony. Would your friend mind staying here for a few minutes?”

I looked at Tess, then back to High Flyer. “Do I have to?”

He nodded. “You really should.”

I put a hoof over Tess’s shoulder and asked her, “Is it okay if I go for a minute? I shouldn’t be long.”

She sighed and said, “Yeah… it’s alright. I’ll be right here when you get back.” She curled herself up on my bed, still trembling slightly, as I walked out the door.

I followed High Flyer down the hallway, dragging my IV pole behind me. “So, who am I talking to?”

I’d never been in this room before, but I definitely knew its occupant.

“Dude, what’s going on? I just saw you like, a week ago!”

“…I know. I just, started feeling like crud last night. I guess the stuff they started giving me didn’t help any.”

Blackhawk looked miserable. He could barely open his eyes, and I could hardly make out what he was saying. I’d never seen him in such bad shape.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well… you remember that last resort I told you about a while ago?” he asked.

“Yeah, why?” I hoped I wouldn’t hear what I thought I was about to hear.

“They started me on it two days ago. I don’t think my body likes it.”

Shoot.

High Flyer put a hoof on my shoulder. “Crimson, Blackhawk and I had a chat for a few minutes before I brought you here. He wanted to make sure he got a chance to talk to you, because…” High Flyer shook his head and looked at my friend in the bed. “Blackhawk… do you want to tell him? Or should I?”

I heard Blackhawk mumble, “…Could you?”

“Sure, buddy.” High Flyer looked at the ground and closed his eyes. I couldn’t see anything else on his face, but he let out a deep sigh. “Crimson… this might be the last time you two get to—”

“NO!” I refused to believe it. “No. Blackhawk, hang in there. You’re gonna be okay.”

Blackhawk managed a small smile. “Thanks, Crimson. I’m gonna try. But, say something does happen, could you do me a favor?”

“Sure, dude. Anything.”

“Keep an eye on Brick, would you?”

“Of course.”

“Oh, and when he gets out of the ICU, tell Stripes I said… well… tell him I said ‘bye.’”

I could feel the drop running down my cheek. “…Okay. But I’m not gonna have to, right? It’ll be ‘see ya soon,’ not ‘bye.’” I got permission from High Flyer to give Blackhawk a hug.

“I’m gonna try.”

As I slowly walked back to my room with High Flyer, I remembered something, so I just started speaking out of reflex. “Om Shri Dhanvantre Namaha… Om Shri Dhanvantre Namaha… Om Shri—”

“Hey Crimson, what are you saying?” he asked me.

“It… it’s called, um, a mantra. It’s a prayer for healing. My mom told it to me.” I was trying really hard to choke back my tears. “It’ll work for Blackhawk— it has to. For Stripes, too.” I looked up at High Flyer, hoping to find some sign of agreement. What I got instead was a frown.

“Crimson, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“…What?”

Author's Note:

If the part about Tesla's mom is confusing, it might be helpful to read Like Father, Like Son. I tried to give enough detail that it isn't required, but if you need some more info, reading that prequel is the way to go. It's not long, and should clear up any confusion.

Comments

[Dreams of Ponies]

Aw, it's gonna get worse, booh. Still, I can enjoy a good tearjerker once in a while.

Aside from that, I love how real this feels, and of course I know why it feels that why, but still, yeah