> Through Crimson Eyes > by Level Dasher > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue: Diagnosis > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I’m sorry, Mrs. Harmony— the test came back positive. You do remember what we spoke about yesterday, don't you? That this is not a complete surprise? The condition is common among transplant patients.” “Of course I remember. I was just hoping it wouldn’t happen to him. He’s such a fighter, and he’s been doing so well since he got the new heart. Level Dasher and I were hoping he wouldn’t have to put up with anything else, but after what you told us yesterday, it seems this was inevitable… I’m so sorry, honey.” She turned to me with tears in her eyes as she said that last sentence. Stupid doctors… I hate seeing Mom cry. “The sooner we start treatment, the better. The good news is that it is not terminal, and the likelihood of a positive prognosis is high. However, it would be wise to have him admitted here at the hospital. It will make the process much easier, and if done at the proper pace, we might be able to nip this in the bud within the next year or so. I'm not going to lie, Mrs. Harmony. The process won’t exactly be fun for little Crimson—” Darn it! I hate it when they call me little! “—but we will try to make his stay as painless as possible. The PonyLife volunteers can bring in some activities for him to do if he likes, and you are welcome to bring things from home to keep him occupied. After the first month or so, fillies and colts tend to get used to it.” Great. Something else I have to ‘get used to.’ I got used to the medicine. I got used to the overprotective parents. Now I have to get used to staying in the hospital? AGAIN? Well that’s just swell. Right— I should probably bring you up to speed. I guess I need to introduce myself first. The name’s Crimson Star, Crimson for short. I live in Ponyville, and apparently I’m going to live in Ponyville General for the next year. My mom, Harmony, is a musician. She sings and teaches violin at the Ponyville Arts Center. My dad, Level Dasher, is a video game tester. He’s been doing it my whole life, and has worked for a bunch of different companies. He keeps telling me how much progress gaming has made over the years, and I see what he means when he brings home new games before their release date. Anyway, I’m getting off track here… I’ve spent most of my life in the hospital, but if I tried to tell you everything I’ve been through over the years it would be insane, so I’ll just give you the short version. It started when I got sick six years ago, when I was only four years old. The doctors found out there was a problem with my heart, so they tried giving me a bunch of medication to fix it. When I was six, they finally realized the meds weren’t working, so they put me on the heart transplant list. I was lucky enough to get a new one only a couple months later. Some kids weren’t as lucky… For the past four years, I’ve had to come back and forth to Ponyville General for biopsies, blood draws, and even more surgery to make sure everything is still working right. Thinking about it, I can’t believe I’m one of the smarter ponies my age; I’ve spent, like, half as much time at school as my friends, and a ton of time playing video games with my dad. I must get the smarts from him— making a career out of playing video games all day? That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard. So anyway, about a week ago, this huge lump appeared on my neck, and I kinda wigged out; we didn’t know what it was. We thought it might just go away, but yesterday it was still as big as an apple, so my mom decided to bring me here to the hospital and ask about it. Hooray for me, the doctor shoved this big needle into the lump and took some weird-looking stuff out to run tests on. I’ve gotten old enough that the doctors just tell me if what they’re gonna do will hurt, but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less. After the doctor sent the stuff he took out of my neck off to get tested, he told us about this condition called PTLD. I know the P-T stands for Post-Transplant and the D is Disease—or Disorder, I don’t think it really matters—but I don’t remember what that L stands for. The word was really long. Whatever the stupid L stands for, apparently it’s some kind of cancer. I don’t remember them saying that cancer was a possibility when I first got my new heart. If they did say anything about it, I definitely didn’t hear it— pretty sure that’s something I would remember if I had. I seriously wish I didn’t have to deal with this now, not after all the other junk I’ve been through. It’s not like I really have any say in the matter, but still… I know enough about cancer to know that there are a lot of kinds of it, and I don’t want to have any of them. I’ve heard of enough ponies that have died from cancer… “Sweetie? I hate to say this, but they want to bring you upstairs now. They have a room available, and they don’t want to lose it.” WHAT? NOW? You have GOT to be kidding me! > Chapter 1: A Visit > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- When the doctors admitted me on the spot, they brought me up to the fifth floor, the onka… onco… uh, the cancer floor. After a week, they hadn’t actually done any treatments yet, but they did put this little tube in my foreleg. It’s supposed to let them take blood out and put other stuff into my body without sticking me with needles over and over again. They called it a PICK line, or something like that. It really didn’t feel good when they put it in— I could feel them wiggling it inside my body from my leg to my chest. It felt so weird. After being in the hospital for a week, I realized, unsurprisingly, that it sucks. It’s not like I haven’t done it before, but it’s been a while. I always forget how annoying those stupid heart monitor stickers are, but at least they’ve got them plugged into a wireless box I can hang around my shoulder instead of the wall. Aside from that, I did think of three other upsides. The first one is that PICK line they keep using— at least I’m not covered in needle holes. That would have bothered the hay outta me. Two, they put me in my own room in the Fluttershy Memorial Wing, so I don’t have to share it with any screaming little foals. Three, even though Miss Turner keeps sending homework to me, I don’t have to go to school. It’s not really enough to make up for being stuck in the hospital for a year, but I guess it’s something. The other nice thing was that Mom brought me a bunch of stuff from home. Having my own room means I can have as much of my stuff here as I want, but the only things I tend to use are my video games—the TV is kinda crummy for Big Macrosoft games, but at least it works—my Harry Trotter books, and my telescope. I got lucky with that one— my room has a nice, big window, and I can point my telescope pretty high. The window is usually pretty clean, too, so it doesn’t cause any problems with… uh, I think the word’s distortion? But whatever— I figure as long as I can use those and can have friends visit, maybe it won’t be too horrible… Luckily for me, I AM allowed to have friends come. Actually, Starry Knight and Tesla Coil just got here a little while ago. Unfortunately, they brought more homework with them. They were barely in the door when I saw a folder with that familiar stationary— From the desk of Miss Page Turner. Can’t she ever give me a break? “Hey, at least you aren’t being tested on stuff!” Starry clearly saw the look in my eyes when he tossed the folder of work onto my bed. He has a good point, though. I’m not being graded on anything like my classmates are, but I probably will be when I get out of here, so I may as well just do the stupid work. “But Miss Turner told us to tell you that there’s stuff in there to read that she’s only giving to you. It’s pretty thick, too.” Oh, well whoop-dee-doo. So I’m not being graded, but I’m getting EXTRA work instead. Isn’t that just fantastic. “Oooh, she’s such a meanie! Why doesn’t she let you off the work completely? You have other stuff to worry about!” Believe me, Tesla, I couldn’t agree with you more. May as well see what she gave me, though. Opening the folder, I looked at the two of them and asked, “You guys don't know what this stuff is, do you? Maybe you can help me if she left questions with— wait… this looks like a cover fo— The History of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?!” “WHAT?” “WHAT?” You don’t understand— this is BIG. This book just came out, and only a few ponies in Manehattan got their hooves on it. It was written by Scootaloo, who was one of the first Crusaders, and the manuscript was found buried in her house somewhere after she… well, yeah. It happened last year— she was 85. I guess it was just… well, time. This whole thing is on printed paper, even the cover! It’s not even the actual book! How did— wait, Miss Turner wrote me a note… Crimson— Surprise! I’m giving you a treat today— no work, but a bit of reading material. I know that you, Tesla, and Starry are members of the Ponyville sector of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (as I was when I was your age), so I thought you might like to learn a bit about its origins. Since I’m sure Starry and Tesla are with you, you are welcome to share it with them, but nopony else (other than your parents, of course)! This is our little secret. My cousin works for the company that published this book, Manehattan Publishers Incorporated. I talked to him a few days ago, and I mentioned you. He was able to get his hooves on a copy of the manuscript and print out a full copy of the book for you. I received it in the mail yesterday. This was not an easy task for him, so please write my cousin a thank-you letter. That is your homework. I put some blank paper in the back of this folder, along with a stamped envelope with my cousin’s address on it. Everypony here wishes you a speedy recovery. We all miss you. Feel better soon, Miss Turner PS: You have great support in Starry and Tesla. The two of them even dyed their manes and tails red for you (I’m hearing some of your other classmates considering it right now as I am writing this to you— it might become a new trend!). Be sure to hang on to friends like them— they only want the best for you, and those are great friends to have. I was wondering what the red was all about. I dropped the folder in my lap before I pointed at Tesla's head and asked, “Wait, so that’s for me?" “Oh, the mane and tail? Um, yeah. We did it yesterday,” Tesla said. Starry chimed in, “You mean you did it yesterday! Crimson, she dyed her own mane and then dunked my head into the dye bucket!” WHAT? My hoof shot up to cover my muzzle. “You agreed to it! You said you thought it was a good idea!” “It is a good idea, but you didn’t have to dunk my whole head in the bucket!” I was ready to bust a gut. “Guys, guys, please!" I couldn't resist letting out a snicker. "Ya gotta admit, Starry, that’s kinda funny! Mister artist became the art!" “Yeah, yeah, I know. But you know I don’t like getting any of my materials ON me. The dye was no different— she got it all over my face…” Starry’s a bit of a neat freak, even though his hobby can get kinda messy. I remarked, “Well, you did a good job cleaning it off, at least.” “Pfft, I wish. My dad came home last night from Canterlot guard duty, so my mom cleaned me up before he got back. She scrubbed so hard I felt like she was gonna pull my skin off! You know how my dad is: ‘A royal guard must be as clean as the palace he protects!’ Geez, when is he gonna get it in his head that I’m not planning to follow in his hoofsteps?” I didn’t want Starry getting into this again. “AN-Y-WAYYYY… Oh, yeah. Thanks, Tess— that was really… sweet of you to think of.” “*GASP* Really?! Um, I mean, yeah. I know. I thought it would be nice…” Starry raised an eyebrow and looked at me with a smirk. He glanced at Tesla, then back to me. I knew what he was thinking, and I silently responded, I know, I know by mirroring the look. I’ve known Starry and Tesla since before I got my new heart. We’ve been best friends for ages— that’s why we all became Crusaders together. But last year, I noticed that Tesla had started acting a little different toward me. Starry noticed it, too. We both finally figured it out this past summer— that filly is crushing on me HARD. Maybe it’s because I like science-y stuff, too; I like stars, and she has a thing for electricity. Her mane’s always standing up from the static, but it actually looks good on her. Whatever the reason is, I’m not quite sure how I feel about it yet… “…Yeah, it was. Thanks, guys.” “No prob.” “You’re welcome!” I sat in silence for only a moment before I asked them, “…Soooooooo, you guys wanna get a look at the book?” “YEAH!” “YEAH!” > Chapter 2: The Midnight Meeting > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- …This… this is incredible. I never would have thought… I’ve been reading for hours now. Starry and Tesla went home ages ago, but I kept going. I just couldn’t stop… It really puts things in perspective. Apparently, Scootaloo was never able to fly, but she still lived up in a cloud house after Rainbow Dash, one of the keepers of the Elements of Harmony, adopted her as a sister. After the original Crusaders got their cutie marks, she developed a hobby in daredevil stunts, but when Rainbow Dash got older, Scootaloo started writing books because Rainbow Dash liked to read… But anyway, that’s not the point. A pegasus that couldn’t fly still became a daredevil— she took a… a misfortune, and flipped it in her favor. Maybe I can do the same thing… The possibilities that could open up… The things I could do in a year… What the— it’s already dark out? What time is it? “Hey Mo—” Geez! She’s asleep! Where’s the clock? I can’t believe it. I was reading for a good four hours; it’s already after eleven. Hey, wait! Perfect timing! Please please please please tell me there aren’t any— YES! No clouds tonight! Perfect for stargazing. Oh, Princess Luna, thank you for doing what you do. Ah, shoot, I forgot! This stupid PICK thing is attached to that bag hanging on the wall! I’ve gotta get the bag on that pole so I can go to my telescope by the window. I mean sure, I can see from here next to my bed, but using my telescope would be so much better. Hmm… I can’t ask the night nurse to help me, she’ll yell at me for being awake… How do I— “We must say, We are glad to see that Our efforts are not in vain, but shouldn’t thou be in bed, young colt?” Oh great, busted by the nurse. Can’t she let me decide on my own when I— wait… Our efforts? Thou? Who… “P-P-P-P-Princess L-Luna?” I don’t know how or why she’s here, but there is a princess in my room. I… I don’t know what to say… “Thou appear rather shocked, young one. There is no need to be frightened.” “Um… P-Princess? Excuse me if I sound rude, b-but why are you here?” The last thing I wanted to do was insult my idol. “Well, young colt, thy father is responsible for this visit, though he does not know We— ahem. Excuse Us. Princess Twilight keeps telling me to ‘get with the times’ and cease my use of the old language. Your father does not know I am here. Nor does your mother.” Huh? But she’s right over… When I turned around to look at Mom, I saw a blue glowing bubble surrounding her head. “Hey! What’s with the glowing around her—” The Princess raised a hoof and said, “Relax, child. It is merely a sound barrier. This conversation shall be just between you and me. Your mother need not stir from her sleep.” Maybe not, but she’d probably want to! “Now, before I continue, what is your name, young one? It would be more proper if I addressed you as such.” I was still on the verge of trembling, but it was a simple enough question. Just before I answered, I finally remembered my manners and bowed to her. “Um, Crimson Star, Your Highness. My name’s Crimson Star.” Still bowing, I glanced a look up at her. “But ponies usually just call me Crimson.” I saw her smile as she waved a hoof for me to get up. “A lovely name. You may simply call me Luna if you wish, Crimson.” “R-Really?” Woah, the Princess is letting me call her by her name… and I’m having a private conversation with her? Cool! “O-Okay! Well, I just wanna say that I love what you did with the stars tonight!” I looked over at my telescope and continued, “I could’ve seen them better if— hey, wait… you were talking about my dad. You said you’re here because of him. What… what did he do?” Princess Luna smiled. “Well, Crimson, as I am sure you already know, your father wishes for nothing more than your well-being. For the past week, I have been receiving prominent prayers for you from him. He has mentioned in his prayers that you are quite fond of the night, and so he chose to seek my blessings for you. I am here to give them.” Coooooool. Dad, you RULE! The Princess continued, “I also wanted to meet the young colt who so adores my work. I wish to thank you for that— it is always a pleasure to see ponies enjoying the fruits of my labor, no matter their age.” Her smile turned into a frown as she said, “After my Nightmare Moon phase all those years ago, I began to wonder if anypony truly admired my work anymore.” Then her smile came back. “It is nice to see somepony that does. “Ah, I see you are also enjoying the latest book by a Crusader I was quite fond of.” Huh? How did she— Oh, I left it on the bed. “Uh, Prin— I mean, Luna? Did you know Scootaloo?” “I met with her quite a few times, so you could say that,” she responded. “Huh? What do you mean?” Met? Does she meet with ponies like this often? The Princess chuckled. “Allow me to explain. Do you remember when you dreamt you flew to the moon right after your first successful flight with your father?” How… “How do you know about that?” I only told my dad about that dream… I had it right after he taught me how to fly. “I was there. I enter the dreams of all my subjects every now and then. I admit, I found it interesting that your imagination brought you to my celestial body… “Anyway, when Scootaloo was young, she was prone to nightmares, so I checked on her in the dreamscape fairly often until she was able to overcome them herself. You just may read about it later. But for now…” She smiled at me, then I watched as her horn started glowing. “Woah! Hey!” I found myself floating through the air. In a matter of seconds, I was back in my bed with the covers pulled up. “…it is time for young colts to go to sleep. While I am pleased that you enjoy my nighttime, you need your rest. My blessings only go so far.” Wait, what? “Umm… Princess, what—” “Dear Crimson, while I wish I could say that giving you my blessing guarantees you will get better, alas, it is not so. If it was, I would go through this whole hospital, but you need to do your part in helping yourself heal. That means you must sleep. Who knows? I just might be having another talk with you sooner than you think.” She smiled again and winked at me. “Have a good night’s rest, young Crimson, and get well soon.” As soon as the Princess finished speaking, she vanished with a flash. I recognized it as the classic teleportation spell. I also noticed a fading blue ball out of the corner of my eye… The sound barrier spell on Mom! If she sees me awake I won’t hear the end of it! I turned away from her and started faking a light snore. Hopefully she’ll buy it if she wakes up. …Wow. I just had a private talk with the Princess of the Night. Starry and Tesla won’t believe it. I should have asked her more about the stars. Maybe… I dunno, she… I… zzzzzzzzz… The doctors unhooked me from the machines and let me go outside with one of the nurses. They said they’re starting my first treatment tomorrow, and I won’t get the chance to go out again anytime soon after they do. The nurse that brought me outside is a pegasus stallion named High Flyer. He’s been my nurse most days lately— he’s pretty cool, easy to talk to. They told him to bring me out so I could get in one more flight before I'm not able to use my wings for a while. It’s late afternoon, so it’s getting darker, but it’s still bright enough to see where I’m going. High Flyer brought me over the park, which isn’t too far from the hospital. Hey, there’s somepony coming toward us. They look familiar… Wait a seco— She slowed to a stop, then smiled and winked at me… again. “I told you, sooner than you think, Crimson.” “Princess Luna! Oh, I’m so glad to see you again! Last night was amazing! Thank you for visiting me!” I still couldn’t believe it. “Yes, last night.” She put a hoof to her mouth and chuckled. Weird… “I wanted to see how you were doing, Crimson. Most foals in the hospital tend to feel depressed. I am glad to see that you have not let your situation get the better of you.” I shrugged. “Well, yeah, it stinks. But I’ve got stuff to occupy me, and I got to meet you! I also realized some of the other ponies on my floor have it worse off than me, so I shouldn’t feel so bad.” The Princess nodded. “A fine way to approach the situation. Now, you just said you are able to occupy yourself; considering the wonderful telescope I saw in your room, would I be correct in assuming that one such way has been stargazing?” I nodded back. “Yeah! Of course!” “Would you like an opportunity to do so outside?” “Huh?” I looked up. Woah. It got dark FAST. And the sky was crystal clear. “Come, Crimson. Your telescope is below us.” When I looked down at the ground, I saw it right in an open patch of grass. But… “Huh? How?” “Let us say I had the nurses bring it out here,” Princess Luna responded. “Um… okay.” I wasn’t gonna argue. “Hey, speaking of, where’s High Flyer? He was right here!” I looked around, but found no sign of him. “Do not worry, Crimson. Nothing will happen to you.” I shook my head. “Oh, I’m not worried about me. I have you here! I was just wondering where he went.” As we circled down to the ground toward my telescope, the Princess said, “I… believe his shift ended. He went back to the hospital to sign out. Now come, let me show you something…” She led me to where my telescope sat, and pointed it out toward the moon, then shifted it a few degrees. We stood there awhile just looking at the sky, and I watched as she moved a few stars around, like an artist changing the sky as if it was a piece of artwork. It reminded me of Starry— I’d seen him painting before, and the Princess’s movements were pretty similar, even the facial expressions. It was so cool watching her in action. After a while, something occurred to me. “Hey, wait! What time is it? How long have we been here? My mom is probably… what’s so funny?” Princess Luna stood there giggling like I’d seen Tesla do before… like she knew something I didn’t. “You have no reason to worry, Crimson. It pleases me that you are still young enough that your imagination can fool you so easily. It makes these dreams so much more realistic for you, and quite honestly, much more fun for me! I don’t reveal myself to my subjects in their dreams too often.” My eyes widened at that remark. “Wait, WHAT? This is all—” “I believe your doctors are here for your morning visit. I just might see you again soon, young one. Keep up the lively dreams!” She poked me on the nose with her hoof before she vanished in a flash again. When I opened my eyes, I expected to be in the park, but I found myself laying in bed again instead. “Ah, good timing. Our young patient is awake!” One of the doctors stood at the foot of my bed. Aw geez, I can’t believe that was all a dream. But then again, Princess Luna was real! And I got to stargaze with her while she worked! Well, kind of, but still— that was so cool! “Good morning, sweetheart. Did you have a good night’s sleep?” Mom asked, standing at my bedside. I yawned, then said, “…Yeah. It was definitely an interesting night.” “Oh? How so?” “I… I’ll tell you later.” “Well then, let’s get down to business.” The doctors certainly didn’t waste any time. “Mrs. Harmony, Crimson, we want to start the first chemotherapy treatment tomorrow. After we do, Crimson will need to remain inside for a while, so we’re going to have his nurse bring him outside today. Here’s High Flyer now. Crimson, we want you to get in some flying time with him before your treatment starts, because you won’t be allowed to fly again for quite some time.” The familiar stallion stepped forward. “Heya, buddy. I’ll have the nutritionists bring in your breakfast in a sec. When you’re ready, I’ll unhook you from the machines and bring you outside. I’ll even take off your heart leads so you don’t need to keep the monitor over your shoulder. Sound good?” I stared at High Flyer for just a second before I said, “Uh… yeah.” Woah… déjà vu… > Chapter 3: A New Face > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honestly, this chemo really isn’t horrible, even after a couple of days. I don’t feel much different, but it does suck that I can’t go outside anymore. That last flight with High Flyer a few days ago was kind of a let-down. He let me fly to the park with him, but I guess I was waiting for Princess Luna to appear again, because up to that point, everything that happened that morning felt exactly like what had happened in my dream the night before… I’m used to Dad being at work most of the time, and I don’t get to see him as much as I’d like during the week; he works some pretty late hours. He’s only been here once since I got admitted— the day after they told me I’d be stuck here. Mom told me he stopped by on the way to work, but I must have been on some weird meds or something that made me kinda loopy, because I don’t really remember him being here. I wouldn’t call that much of a visit. I don’t know what they’ve got him testing, but almost two weeks of not seeing my dad sucks pretty hard. Mom’s been working on her computer a lot now, too. She hasn’t been going to the arts center because she’s usually here at the hospital with me, so she’s been video chatting with her violin students to see how they’re doing. Thank Celestia she’s finally using technology the right way— I’d been badgering my dad for ages to show her how to use that stupid computer. It’s good that Mom’s been occupied; it keeps her busy so she isn’t always worrying about me. Daytime on weekdays has been really crummy. Since all of my friends are at school, I need to wait until the afternoon before anypony can visit. Even with my books and video games, it gets to be a drag around here… “Hey Crimson, you got a minute?” I had a quick jolt before I realized High Flyer had opened the door. I need to make a point of asking ponies to knock first… “Hey, High Flyer. Sure, what’s up?” He had just taken my vitals a few minutes before, so I didn’t know what he wanted this time. It didn’t take long to find out. Still standing in the doorway, High Flyer asked me, “Well, it looks to me like you’ve been a bit bored lately, am I right?” I nodded. “Yeah, there’s not much good stuff on TV during the day. Too many soaps.” Unfortunately, they’re called ‘Saturday morning cartoons’ for a reason. “Well, there’s another colt in a room down the hall who’s been bored, too,” he said. “He’s about your age— would you like to meet him? I have a feeling you two might get along. I asked him if he would be interested in meeting somepony new, and he said he was. How about you?” “Sure! What’s he like?” I’m always up for meeting new ponies. “Ask him yourself! Come on in, buddy.” High Flyer motioned out into the hallway, and I saw some hooves appear through the glass in my door. An earth pony colt with a darkish brown coat and… no mane… trotted in, followed by an IV pole with the usual stuff— medicine bags, heart monitor box, etc. He seemed to be about my size, but he looked a bit younger. I found it kinda strange that he decided to shave off his mane— it looked a little odd to me. High Flyer made the official introduction. “Crimson, this is Blackhawk. Blackhawk, meet Crimson Star.” “Hi. Nice to meet you.” He didn’t seem shy, and he wasn’t too forward. Good first impression. “Hey there,” I answered. “Sorry, I’d get outta bed, but they just started me on chemo a couple days ago, and they still don’t want me doing anything funny.” Blackhawk nodded and said, “Yeah, I know the feeling. Chemo sucks. I usually just read comic books when I have it. Makes the time go faster.” He trotted over to my bedside and pulled over one of the chairs. I asked him, “You been on chemo a while?” “Yeah. I was diagnosed with Neighlocytic Leukemia last year.” He pointed to his head and added, “You can see what it did to my mane…” Uh oh… I voiced the question the second it popped into my head. “Wait, the chemo did that?” “Yeah. It’s a little weird at first, but it’s not too bad,” he said, casually running a hoof over his head. “Geez, I guess that’s gonna happen to me too, huh?” I like my mane. I don’t want to lose it… “It depends— what are you on?” Blackhawk asked. “Uuuuhh…” I didn’t know. I hadn't asked what it was called. High Flyer chimed in from the door, “You’re getting Ribucksimab, Crimson.” A smile crossed Blackhawk’s face. “Oh, then you should be fine. Ribucks usually doesn’t do squat. You said it’s been a couple days since you started; you don’t feel much different than normal, right?” I started feeling better at this question, especially since I knew the answer. “Not really. I feel alright.” Blackhawk nodded. “Then yeah, you’ll be fine. Ribucks isn’t that intense. If you were gonna have a reaction to it, it would’ve happened pretty quick.” I let out a small smile. Whew… I like this colt. He’s cool in my book. Blackhawk spent a good hour hanging out in my room with me. He showed me a few of his comics, and I showed him my favorite games. He got pretty excited when I told him Dad worked for Big Macrosoft— I guess he’s a gamer, too. High Flyer called him back to his room when the doctors wanted him to do some tests. As first impressions go, he’s a cool colt. We’ll definitely need to keep a connection. Blackhawk went back to his room at about one in the afternoon. Mom had stepped out so we could have some time to ourselves. I was surprised when she didn’t walk back in right away, but left me alone for a while instead. I don’t really know what she was doing— she probably had some back-to-back lesson slots. While Mom was still out of my room, High Flyer came in to do something with my PICK line. I took the opportunity to ask him about it; something had been on my mind. “Hey, High Flyer, what does PICK stand for, anyway?” He gave me a quick glance before he continued his work and explained, “Oh, it stands for ‘peripherally inserted central catheter.’ P-I-C-C. You probably thought it sounded like P-I-C-K, right?” I nodded. “Yeah, most ponies do before they know what it means. It’s basically just a fancy IV that lets us give you multiple fluids in one place at the same time.” He finished what he was doing just as he ended his explanation. “Gotcha.” I shrugged. “I guess I just like to know what’s going on.” “Well, based on your history, you probably know quite a bit,” High Flyer said. “I’d say the more you know, the better.” At least the questions didn’t bother him— he seemed happy to do a little teaching. After High Flyer left, I used the alone time as an opportunity to write Miss Turner’s cousin that thank-you letter. It wasn’t too long, but I made sure to write in a few details from the book so he knew I had been reading it. About an hour after Blackhawk left, Mom finally came back into my room. “Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling? Did you have a nice time with that colt? High Flyer told me you two seemed to really hit it off.” I answered, “Yeah! He’s pretty cool— we’ll have to keep in touch. So, what have you been doing? I figured you were going to come back in after Blackhawk went back to his room, but you’ve been outside for like, an hour.” “Oh, I’ve been talking to a few parents out here. Actually, one in particular who I think you might like to see…” She smirked as I saw her motion to somepony out in the hallway. I had no idea what she was talking about. The only other pony I had met on the floor was Blackhawk. I hadn’t met any parents yet. I was totally confused… …Until I saw the yellow hooves and wingtips in the glass. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing correctly until I heard the familiar voice: “Heya, Champ!” “DAD!” I almost hopped out of my bed, but he stopped me before I accidentally yanked out my PICC. “Woah, woah, hold up, buddy! Stay right there, I’m coming!” When he trotted to my bedside, I sat up and threw my forelegs around his neck. I couldn’t believe he was here, especially at this time of day. I asked him, “Dad, what are you doing here? Don’t you need to be at work?” “Usually you’d be right, bud, but I had a talk with my boss yesterday. He let me leave early today, so I’ve got the rest of the day to hang with you.” He tousled my mane as I smiled up at him. “I also have to chat with you and your mother.” “Huh? About what?” “Well, I’ve been talking with your mom for a bit outside, so she knows, but let’s say we might have a lot more hangout time in the near future.” “Really? Cool! But… then… when are you gonna work?” I asked him. “Well, that’s the thing,” he said, putting a hoof on my shoulder. “I think I’m going to retire.” > Chapter 4: A Big Change > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Wait, retire? Doesn’t that mean that you, like, won’t ever work again?” I definitely wasn’t expecting this. “That’s usually what happens, yes. That’s why I haven’t been here lately; I’ve been preparing. You see, Crimson, your mother has always taken you to your doctor visits because I’m usually working. I feel like I haven’t been as involved with your medical life as I would like, especially now. I—” I cut him off and said, “But you’ve had to work!” “I understand that,” he replied, “but that’s no excuse not to be involved in a crucial aspect of your life. My late work hours have been for good reason, but I still would rather be able to spend more time with you, and retiring would give me that chance.” “But then, what’ll we do about making money for stuff?” Dad’s had a pretty good job over the course of my lifetime, and I know that I’ve gotten spoiled because of it. I don’t take it for granted, but I guess I’ve gotten used to it. If Dad wasn’t making money anymore… He looked at me for a second, then he smiled. “…Wow. How did I get lucky enough to have a son like you, Champ?” He tousled my mane again. “You have your own troubles to deal with. Let your mother and me worry about the money. Besides, if you’re going to be in here for a while, one of the other things my retiring will do is allow your mother to go back to work.” I raised a brow at him. “But Mom doesn’t really make a lot…” He raised his brow back at me. “What have you been doing, mister? Looking at your parents’ bills and paychecks behind our backs?” I shrugged. “Well, Mom leaves her teaching schedule and other stuff out on the table sometimes…” Dad rolled his eyes and sighed. “Okay, buddy. You’re clearly mature enough that I can let you in on something your mother and I have kept from you. Not because we don’t trust you, but because we didn’t want you to get spoiled.” I put my chin in a hoof and raised a brow at him again. “Dad, I’m already spoiled. We both know that.” Dad chuckled. “Well you see, bud, that’s the difference— you KNOW you are. Some foals that are spoiled don’t think they are, and that’s the problem. Since you’ve realized it on your own, you’re mature enough to hear this now. “Anyway, after all my years of experience in the gaming industry, I’ve climbed my way up in the company. Aside from just being a tester, I’ve also been designing some of the games I’ve brought home for you. One of the reasons I get so happy watching you play those games is because I basically created them— with plenty of help, of course. Watching you enjoy the things I make has given me so much pleasure that I wanted to stay in the business longer. The downside was the hours— TONS of time and energy go into game design.” I had no idea Dad had been working this hard. I mean, I knew he worked a lot, but I didn’t think DESIGNING games was why he stayed at the office so late. I thought he was being overworked with game testing. Dad pulled over the chair Blackhawk had sat in earlier and continued, “The point I’m getting at is that for the past few years, I’ve been one of the highest-paid ponies in the company. We have plenty of money stored away to last us for a long time. Your mother and I have already set up a college account for you, as well as plenty of other important things. For example: Celestia forbid that something happens to me, you and your mother won’t need to worry about money. I’ve got all that covered. This is why I’ve been working such long hours: to make sure you and your mom don’t have any problems in the future. “The reason your mother and I didn’t tell you about our money situation is because, like I said before, we didn’t want you to get— well, too spoiled. Some of the ponies I work with have colts and fillies that feel like they’re entitled to whatever they want because they know they can afford it. Your mother and I didn’t want you to start thinking that way, and I’m happy to see that you don’t. I think your medical history has had a hoof in that— you don’t take things for granted.” I thought about it for a moment, then nodded at him. “Huh. Maybe you’re right, Pop. I guess it’s a… what’s it called, blessing in disguise?” Dad stared at me for a moment. “I swear, how are you only ten? You’re smarter than some of my co-workers!” “I’m pretty sure I get it from you, Dad.” I raised my brow at him and smirked. “Haha, you don’t need to suck up to me, Champ.” “Who said I was sucking up?” He smiled. “…You know, you’re really good at earning brownie points, buddy. Now then, where’s your mother?” Even though Mom had already heard about the plan, the three of us talked about the whole thing for about an hour. Dad was going to finish out the month at Big Macrosoft and retire, and Mom was going to go back to the Arts Center so she didn’t have to video chat with her students anymore. There were a few other details they had to go through that I didn’t have to be a part of the conversation for, but I was fine listening to it all. Like High Flyer had said earlier, the more I knew, the better. Mom seemed relieved when Dad told her he had explained the money stuff to me. Apparently, her computer has been on the fritz, and she’s been looking into getting a new one. She wanted to get an Apple, but didn’t want to outright buy a really expensive new computer and then have me wonder how she could afford it. Actually, that was another crazy thing I read about in The History of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. It turns out that Apple Bloom, one of the other original Crusaders, eventually went into engineering. She stopped working at the Apple farm at the edge of town, which led to a new life for that family— the next generation went into electronics. One of Apple Bloom’s sons started the Apple corporation—not very original, but whatever—and then her other son founded Big Macrosoft, which he named after their uncle. It’s kind of funny that two members of the same family were so competitive with each other— sibling rivalry, I guess. But geez, I owe my life to that family. Without them, Dad wouldn’t have this awesome job… It’s strange how things can be so connected without you realizing it. I never really gave much thought to the Apple farm at the edge of town, but it’s the origin of a lot of things that affect my life. The two big-name electronics companies whose products I use from day to day are both rooted from that farm. On top of that, my family’s well-being would be non-existent had the place never existed. Hmm… Maybe all this medical junk is connected with something, too. Maybe I’m supposed to deal with it all… Woah, I went way off track there. Anyway, we agreed that it was a good idea for Dad to retire. That way, Mom could focus on teaching her lessons and I could spend more time with him. Fortunately, the medical bills weren’t a problem, either. Apparently, Dad has this thing called a pension, which means he’ll still be making money even after he stops working. Wow… we’re really lucky… Then I heard my door creak open just a crack. “Excuse me? Can we come in?” I asked, “Who is it?” “It’s us!” “It’s us!” Before I even had a chance to react, Starry and Tesla were at the foot of my bed. “Hey guys! What’s up?” Starry shrugged. “Not much, usual school stuff. Everything going okay?” I nodded and said, “Yeah, it’s all good. Chemo isn’t too bad. Actually, I met—” Tesla’s ears suddenly perked up. “Oh wait! Before we forget! Crimson, did you write Miss Turner’s cousin a thank-you? She wanted us to ask you.” I nodded again and answered, “Oh yeah, I just did today! Why? I put it in that addressed envelope she gave me.” “Didja mail it?” Starry peered over at her. “He said he just wrote it today, Tess. When would he have had time to mail it?” Tesla glared daggers at him. “I was just ASKing, Starry! Geez! Well, putting it that way, I guess you didn’t, huh?” Watching the two of them bicker kind of amused me, I’ve gotta admit. “Heh heh, no. Why?” Starry decided to speak before Tesla could. “Miss Turner said she was going to see him this weekend and that she could hoof-deliver it for you. We’ll give it to her tomorrow if you want.” “Sure, that works.” I reached over to the side table and picked up the envelope with the letter. Tesla jumped up and grabbed it, but I noticed she kind of rubbed her hoof on my hind leg as she settled back down on the floor. Starry noticed, too, and the two of us smirked at each other. Tesla saw us, though. “What are you two looking like that for?” “…Nothing.” “…Nothing.” I saw Mom in the corner on her laptop, glancing at us from the corner of her eye and grinning. I think she knows… “So Mr. Dasher, what’s going on at Big Macrosoft? We didn’t think you would be here at this time of day,” Starry asked Dad. “The usual stuff, Starry. We’re working on releasing a few original games this year, so they’ve been keeping us testers pretty busy making sure all the kinks are worked out.” “They must be, considering how late you usually work,” Tesla chimed in. I started, “Actually, Dad’s—” *Cough**Cough* I got cut off. I looked over at Dad and saw him shaking his head at me. It confused me, but I knew what he was trying to tell me. I figured I’d ask him why later. “You okay, Mr. Dasher?” Tesla asked with concern. “Yes, I’m alright, Tesla. Luna, I need some fresh air.” He opened the window… …and that’s when I finally remembered. “WAIT! That’s right! Dad, can you c’mere for a sec?” He trotted over to my bed. “What’s up, buddy?” When he got close enough that I wouldn’t yank out my PICC, I jumped up and squeezed him as hard as I could. I almost knocked him over. “You are the most awesome dad ever!” Tesla and Starry started laughing. Dad sat on his haunches and did the same. “Well, thanks! But what did I do? I haven’t really seen you that much lately.” Mom stood up and looked at me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “So what am I, chopped liver?” She chuckled along with Dad. “Come on, Mom. Don’t give me that— you already know you’re the coolest mom in Equestria!” I quipped. She laughed, “Well that’s good to hear. Still, I’d like to know exactly what your father did to earn him that title. Other than already being who he is, of course.” She looked at Dad and winked, and he gave her a big grin. Ugh, parents and their cutesy faces. “Well…” I sighed and smiled as I looked at my parents, then over at Starry and Tesla. “You guys are not going to believe who came and visited me the other night…” > Chapter 5: Reactions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After I finished recounting everything that had happened on the night Princess Luna visited me, I looked at my audience. There was utter silence, and each one of them had a different expression on their face. Starry looked completely dumbstruck. His eyes were bulging and he was slack-jawed. He looked like you could tip him over with a slight prod to the ribs. Tesla appeared to be absolutely horrified. She actually looked ready to burst into tears for some reason. Mom had a look that seemed to be a combination of contemplation and doubt, but I wasn’t quite sure. She stared at me with a raised brow and a closed eye, scratching her chin. Then I saw Dad, still sitting on his haunches. He was a little hard to read. I thought he had actually fallen asleep at first; his eyes were shut and he had a soft smile on his face. Then I saw him mouth out something quietly— it looked like he said “thank you.” Since Dad seemed to be a bit… out of it, I wanted to hear what Starry, Tesla, and Mom had to say. I decided to break the silence with a quick, “What?” That’s when the barrage began: “You met Princess Luna?” “She can see into our dreams?” “She was here in the room?” “Did she have any guards?” “How much can she see?” “Why didn’t she want me to know she was here?” “Was my dad with her?” “Can she see what we do outside of our dreams, too?” “She didn’t happen to teach you that sound barrier spell, did she?” “WOAH! WOAH!” I held up my hooves. It was like they had rehearsed it— Starry, Tesla, and Mom had just gone down the line asking their questions, but Dad remained quiet with that satisfied smile on his face. I was amazed I had actually been able to catch and remember all of their questions, so I decided to respond to them all at once while the answers were still fresh in my head. “Yes, no, and again, no. Sorry, Starry. “Yes, I don’t know, and I don’t know, but she’s usually asleep during the day. By the way, you sound like you committed a crime or something, Tess— calm down. “Yes, she didn’t want to disturb your sleep, and no, Mom. I can’t do magic, remember? Why?” Mom sighed. “Shoot, I could have soundproofed the studio with a spell like that.” I couldn’t help but chuckle; figures teaching tips would have been the first thing on her mind. At first, I wasn’t sure if they would believe me. I didn’t want them to think I was going crazy and seeing things. Then again, I probably shouldn’t have doubted them— they were my friends and parents, after all. I looked over at Dad. He had been silent the whole time with that look on his face. I thought I saw a tear trickle down his cheek, but he was still smiling. “Hey, Dad? You okay?” I asked him. He got up and slowly approached my bedside. Then he pulled me into a hug and caressed my mane. “Praise you, Princess Luna. You have graced my son with your presence and your blessing. Thank you for hearing the words of this stallion— I knew I could count on you…” I heard him sniffle and felt a tear drip down onto my head. Oh please, Dad. Not now… Talk about awkward… I really didn’t want to have to deal with this side of him, especially with company around. I glanced over at Starry and Tesla; they alternated between staring at me and my Dad with a single brow raised. It didn’t surprise me— they had never seen Dad’s… spiritual side. Thank Luna for my Mom, though. “Honey, don’t you need to be at work in the morning? It’s getting pretty late.” Dad’s eyes nearly popped out as he said, “Oh, ponyfeathers!” He smiled at me and squeezed me so hard I thought I would burst. “I’ll see you tomorrow, buddy. See you, Hon. So long, kids!” As he spoke, he turned to each of us in turn before he galloped out the door. After the door shut behind him, I let out a sigh, then turned and glared at Mom, who returned my look with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, sweetie. You know how your father can be.” “Yeah, but did he have to go all… spiritual on me with Tess and Starry here?” I responded. I looked at them and said, “You guys looked a little freaked.” They both just shrugged. Mom chuckled, “Right. You kids haven’t seen Crimson’s dad that way before, have you?” They shook their heads. “I didn’t think so. You see, Level Dasher was raised in a family where prayer every night was mandatory. It’s a habit that he’s stuck to ever since. When Crimson was born, Level Dasher and I decided not to push that lifestyle on him.” She turned to me. “However, it seems that your father’s prayers have merit. You know how much of an honor it is to meet a princess, don’t you?” I nodded. “I did more than just meet her face-to-face, Mom. Right after we talked and I fell asleep, she revealed herself to me in my dreams. She told me she doesn’t do that often. Believe me, I know full well I’m a lucky colt.” Honestly, I still couldn’t believe it. Mom said, “Well, it seems that luck isn’t really at play here. If your father’s prayers brought Princess Luna to you, I may have to try my own hoof at it…” She tapped her chin and began staring out the window. I looked at Tesla and Starry, who both shrugged at me again. Suddenly, Starry’s ears perked up and he turned to Tesla. “Shoot! We oughta go, too. We’ve got school in the morning.” “Oh geez, you’re right!” Tesla answered. “We’ll see you later, Crimson. I’ll give your letter to Miss Turner tomorrow.” “Thanks, Tess. See you guys later!” They rushed out the door and it slowly shut behind them. Then I let out a calm sigh. I leaned back against my pillow, and Mom pulled over a chair to sit next to my bed. She looked at me with a smile. “So…” I expected something more, but she stopped there. “So what?” Conversations with Mom that started that way were unpredictable. Mom leaned forward and rested her forelegs on my bed as she stared at me with a… knowing look. “Tesla…” A lump caught in my throat. I hoped she wasn’t going where I thought she was going. “Uh… what about her?” She chuckled and started twirling her hoof in a circle on my sheets. “Is there anything you want to tell me about her?” I had a feeling I was right, but I wasn’t certain. “Uh, what’s there to tell?” Mom smirked. “Okay, then. Since you don’t want to tell me what I’m pretty sure you know, do you want me to tell you what I know, and what I think you know I know?” Her wording lost me. “Umm… I guess?” She laughed, then got up and tousled my mane. “That filly has quite the crush on you, pal.” I sighed, “Oh. That…” Yeah, I was right— she’d figured it out. Mom continued, “Not only that, but you and Starry both have known, and you aren’t really sure how you feel about it yet. Am I right?” I raised my eyebrow at her. “How did you—” She cut me off. “I’m a mother. I observe. And remember, I was a filly that age once myself. I had a crush, too; I know the signs.” I put my hoof to my forehead and sighed through my nostrils. “Mom, you couldn’t wait until morning to bring this up?” After a short conversation about ‘the potential between Tesla and me,’ Mom let me go to sleep. I was tired, so I didn’t want to think too much about it, but I didn’t want to forget about it, either. She gave me some pretty good advice. I woke up late the next morning. What I woke up to, I definitely wasn’t expecting. > Chapter 6: Living on a Prayer > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Om Shri Dhanvantre Namaha… Om Shri Dhanvantre Namaha… Om Shri Dhanvantre Namaha…” As I woke up, I heard some strange chanting from my mother. Uuuuhh… “Mom, what the hay are you saying?” She looked like she was in some kind of trance or something, but she came out of it when I spoke. “Oh, sweetie! You’re up! I’m sorry, did I wake you?” “Umm, I don’t think so. What were you just doing?” I asked her. “Oh, that. Do you remember what I said last night about trying my hoof at some spiritual stuff?” “Yeah, why?” “Well, when you went to sleep last night, I went upstairs. There’s a parents’ lounge that has a fair number of books, and I found this one that has all kinds of prayers and chants in it.” She held up a book in her aura. “What I was just reciting is a prayer for healing. Take a look!” She hovered the book over to me. It was called Mantras and Their Meanings. There wasn’t much of a cover— it just had some floral patterns on it. I opened it to a random page; there were some bolded phrases with a few paragraphs underneath each one. I skimmed the pages for a moment when some words in one of the explanations caught my eye: removal of obstacles. “Mom, what about this one? It… kinda fits.” “Hmm… ‘Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha. The removal of obstacles in our way’,” she read. “Well, I guess we could consider your PTLD an obstacle that’s preventing you from getting back to your normal life, so it makes sense. It certainly couldn’t hurt to try.” I’d never thought much about my dad’s praying. It had honestly seemed kind of silly to me, but after meeting Princess Luna, I was much more willing to try something like it. Like Mom said, it couldn’t hurt. Before we could read any more, the doctors came in, so we put the book down and decided to look at it later. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Dad came back in the evening after work. When we told him about the book, he seemed pretty impressed. Despite his years of example, Mom never prayed for herself; now, here she was praying for me. “I’m glad to see you two taking prayer to heart,” Dad said. “After your visit from the Princess, I would think you would see the validity of it, Crimson. I agreed with your mother that it wasn’t right to push you into doing it. I’m glad to see you’ve taken it upon yourself to start!” I saw a sparkle in my Dad’s eye. It was a look of pure happiness that I’d seen in him before. I guess this was really important to him— no wonder he’d gotten all sappy on me the night before. Mom and I told him about the mantras we’d picked out of the book. He agreed they definitely applied— especially the healing one Mom found. He told us that mantras weren’t the same as the prayers he said every night, but they both worked just as well. As far as he could tell, all prayer was valid if it came from the heart. Something about generating positive energy— it seemed a little strange at first, but it kind of made sense to me. The next day was Saturday, so Dad stayed at the hospital with us that night. I listened to him say his own prayers while Mom started chanting again. As I laid in bed, I tried to focus on my parents through half-closed eyes. They each prayed in their own way. The prayers sounded so different; one was a one-sided conversation, the other simply one repeated phrase. Despite the differences, both methods seemed to just… work for Mom and Dad. It’s strange, how two things that appear so different can potentially have the same effect. After Dad finished his prayers and fell asleep, Mom continued to chant ‘Om Shri’ until she finally dozed off. I figured I could do the same, so I repeated ‘Om Gum’ for a while. Unfortunately, it didn’t work as well for me. Instead, I started thinking about Tesla and what Mom and I had talked about the night before. I guess my mind drifted away with that thought, though, because what seemed like five minutes later, I opened my eyes to daylight. I silently sat up in my bed. It was quiet— my parents were standing at the window with their forelegs wrapped around each other, not saying a word. “What’s going on?” After I spoke, my parents whipped around to face me, then they both sighed. Their eyes were red and puffy. “Is everything alright?” “Oh, thank Luna. He’s awake.” Dad looked Mom in the eye, sniffed, and said, “We have to tell him.” Mom nodded. They trotted to my bedside without saying anything else, each going to one side of my bed. Mom started, “Sweetie, you’ve been asleep for a week. A lot happened while you were sleeping that you aren’t aware of.” Dad continued, “The first chemotherapy the doctors used wasn’t working, so they tried something else. It didn’t work either.” I didn’t like where this was going. I felt an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. “Despite everything that’s been done, your PTLD has been gradually getting worse. They…” Mom sniffed and then started to cry. “They said there’s nothing else they can do…” “We’re glad you woke up, buddy. We didn’t know if we would get to speak to you again. Yesterday, the doctors said you only had maybe a week left.” My chest felt like it was being crushed by an elephant. Suddenly, I saw a flash of light. When my parents whipped around to see what had happened, we all saw Princess Luna standing before us, her head bowed. “I am truly sorry, but I am afraid that he does not have even that. I wanted to be here for this. Crimson, you only have a few more minutes.” My parents stood in silence for a moment, staring at the Princess. Both of them then turned to look at me, and I returned their glances. As I looked at my mother, I saw her arched brows furrow and her eyes narrow. “No.” She stood in front of my bed like a barrier between me and the Princess. “You are not taking our son from us.” “We won’t let you.” I looked on in awe as my father followed my mother’s example. My parents were standing up to the Princess for me… Princess Luna smiled. “Truly the ideal parents for any colt or filly. I admire you both. Unfortunately, it is not my decision to make. I am not here to take Crimson from you; I am here to give him my blessing as he ultimately departs. I will stay over here if you wish. It would be wise to say your last words to him.” My parents stared at Princess Luna in disbelief, then sighed. I could tell by their bowed heads and drooping shoulders that they realized they were defeated, despite their efforts. They walked back to each side of my bed and grasped me as hard as they could. I felt their tears running down my back as my own eyes watered, dampening my bedsheets. I could feel a dark grip pulling at my throat and the weight leaving my limbs. Mom spoke first. “Oh, why did it have to end this way? You fought so hard, sweetie. I would have sworn you were going to get yourself back on your hooves!” So did I, Mom. So did I… I heard Dad through his sobs. “Crimson, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you through all this. I’m such a bad father.” Despite feeling the signs of imminent death, I managed to speak. “No, Dad, you’re not. You did what you had to for us. You were great. You too, Mom.” Both of them sniffed and smiled. “I love you both. Tell Starry and Tesla I’ll always remember them, okay?” The two of them nodded. “And Mom?” “…Yes?” “…Tell Tesla I think it could have worked.” “I will, sweetie.” As I felt the grip of darkness fall over my whole body, the last thing I heard was my father. “Crimson! CRIMSON!” > Chapter 7: What Dreams May Come > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “…Crimson? Crimson?” …Huh? “Wake up, buddy.” I opened my eyes. The dark grip was gone. Dad stood over me, nudging my shoulder. Wait… I must have been dreaming. That means I’m not— “It’s almost noon, buddy. Did you stay up after your mother and I went to sleep last night?” “Um, not really.” The dream was still stuck in my head. It took me a second to remember. “I think it just took me a little longer to get to sleep.” “Fair enough. I’ve had plenty of nights like that.” His voice suddenly took a serious tone. “Listen, buddy— I need to tell you something. Mom went home to take care of some things at the house. Before she left, the doctors came in and talked to us while you were asleep. They had the results of some of your tests. It seems that the chemo they’re giving you hasn’t been helping as much as they were hoping it would…” Oh no, not again! My eyes started watering. “Woah, buddy! What’s with the tears? You didn’t let me finish! They said that it has helped quite a bit, though. There are a few places in your body that have bad cells, and one of them has cleared up. But there are a few other places where the Ribucksimab hasn’t had much effect. They’re going to start you on another kind of chemo in a few days to see if it helps, but they want to give your body a break first.” Phew. For a minute I thought I was having déjà vu again; that’s a relief. Could this be the medicine’s doing? Despite the relief, I still couldn’t stop the tears. I looked up at Dad and hugged him as hard as I could. He hugged me back, and I could hear the confusion in his voice. “Is everything okay, bud? You looked a little freaked there.” I sniffed, then took a second to breathe. I just looked at him for a moment before I answered, “Dad, I…” I couldn’t say it. “You what? What’s the matter?” I buried my face in his chest and spoke just loudly enough that he could hear me, “I had a dream that I died. You were the last one I heard as I felt myself slip away.” I heard him draw in a sharp breath, then slowly let it out as he stroked my mane. “…Geez, Crimson. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how that—” I looked back up at him and cut him off, “NO! Don’t be sorry, please don’t be sorry.” I didn’t want to have more déjà vu, so I tried to stop it before it happened again. “You’re not a bad dad. I hope you don’t think that…” He looked at me with a slightly furrowed brow, but then he smiled. “I’m glad to hear that, Crimson.” He furrowed his brow again. “But… where did that come from?” “Oh… Well, one of the last things you said in my dream was that you were sorry for not being here for me, and that you felt like you were a bad father. I just want you to know I don’t feel that way at all.” Dad smiled and hugged me again. “Thank you, Crimson. I’m happy to hear you say that. I have to admit, I have felt that way on occasion. Now that I’m retiring, I can make up for lost time.” He tousled my mane, then put a hoof under my chin as he looked at me directly in the eyes. “I’m definitely here for you now.” Thank Luna for that. I’m gonna need him now. “It is unfortunate that your wife decided to return home. I would have liked to speak with her as well. I— Please rise, sir. A loyal subject such as yourself is certainly worthy of speaking with me as an equal.” About an hour after I woke up, I had a surprise visit. I had been expecting company, but not today, and definitely not Princess Luna. She seemed a bit stern this time, though. “Y-Y-Yes, Your Highness.” Dad stumbled to his hooves. He seemed stunned to get that kind of an invitation from the Princess. It was actually kind of amusing watching him fumble over himself, trying to keep his composure. “I apologize for arriving unannounced, but I wanted to speak with you about this now, Crimson. Your dream patterns have been rather… intriguing.” My eyes widened at that remark. “You saw that? Wait… that… that wasn’t actually you in my dream, was it?” The Princess shook her head. “No, it was not. That was your own projection of me. However, I was watching; to be honest, I am not certain exactly how to react to what I saw.” Had I insulted Princess Luna somehow? I felt a little uneasy. I wasn’t the only one— Dad’s face showed signs of unease as well. “It appears to me that you have misinterpreted exactly what I am and am not capable of, Crimson. Contrary to what happened in your dream, I cannot predict the future. Nor am I a messenger of the afterlife. While I am… honored that you seem to hold my position in such a high regard, you must understand that I do not possess that kind of power. Despite that, I am pleased at your mind’s portrayal of your parents and me. While I do not deserve the kind of regard your dream gave me, your parents most certainly do.” She turned to my father and smiled. Dad looked taken aback. “I do not doubt they would have done exactly that.” Dad’s gaze switched between Princess Luna and myself, then focused on me. “Wha… what exactly did we do? What’s going on in that brain of yours, buddy?” I wasn’t sure how to describe it to him, but Princess Luna managed quite nicely. She stepped forward and explained, “An unfortunate fact that I have come to accept is that death is commonly associated with darkness, which is understandably associated with the night. I believe Crimson’s mind cast me in the role of the angel of death. With this representation in mind, you and your wife believed I had come to take Crimson away, so you both stood against me. A noble act indeed. To quote your projection of me, Crimson, truly the ideal parents for any colt or filly.” The Princess looked out the window, then back to me. “I must return to Canterlot, I am afraid. However, before I depart, I want to be certain: Crimson, do you understand what I have told you?” I took a minute to think before I spoke. I wanted to make sure I had put everything together correctly. I thought about what the Princess had just said, as well as what I already knew, or at least thought I knew. “Well, I think you’re saying that even though you have certain powers as the Princess of the Night, your power isn’t limitless. You do have the power to enter and manipulate dreams, but you don’t have any power over life and death. Is that right?” The Princess nodded. “Those are the basics, yes. I have a feeling that you will be able to figure out any details I may not have covered on your own. However, I have one more question for you.” “What’s that, Princess?” “Do you understand why I needed to have this conversation with you?” I thought for a moment. “Umm… to be honest, no.” “You will soon enough.” Then, with a silent nod, she was gone in a blinding flash of light. Not a moment later, the door swung open and three ponies entered the room. “What in Equestria was that light?” I heard my mother as she came in first, followed by an amethyst-colored pegasus with a long, teal mane. A magenta unicorn with a curly purple mane and a big green bow brought up the rear. I face-hoofed and shook my head, but I couldn’t help but smile. “Mom, honestly, sometimes you have the worst timing…” “What? What did I miss?” Dad alternated looking at my mother and the spot the Princess had just disappeared from a few times, then finally settled on Mom. He stumbled over his words, clearly still stunned at what he had just witnessed. “Harmony… th-that was Princess Luna. You just missed her.” Three mouths went agape. “The PRINCESS?” “The PRINCESS?” Mom put a hoof to her forehead. “Of course I would choose the day the Princess makes an appearance to go home. What else is new?” Mom chuckled. At least she appreciated the humor in it. Then she turned around and saw the two wide-eyed, gaping mares behind her. “Oh, that’s right! You two don’t know about that, do you?” The shaking of heads followed that question. “Crimson, I think you’re better qualified to explain.” I nodded. “Yeah, probably. But first— hi Amy! Hi Rose!” I waved at them with a wide, slightly sarcastic smile, hoping to snap them out of their… trance. Amethyst Wonder and Rosebud are friends I met in the hospital years ago. They’re a few years older than me, but they’ve both had heart transplants, too. Rosebud actually had a second one a few months ago, and Amethyst had to get a kidney from her brother. We’ve all had it pretty rough. Both of them had moved to Connecticolt, but they came back to Ponyville for medical stuff, so we cross paths every so often. The doctors knew them better here. They told me they were both coming to town for checkups tomorrow and said they’d stop in. “What are you guys doing here?” I asked them. “I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow!” “That was the original plan,” Amethyst said, “but we thought that we might be kind of tired after all the tests and stuff we’re doing tomorrow, so we decided to come early and see you when we’re at a hundred percent. My dad still lives in town, so we’re staying with him. Figured it wouldn’t be a problem.” She shrugged and turned to Rosebud, who nodded in agreement. “Cool! Would’ve been cooler if you guys had gotten here like, three minutes ago, though. You missed a chance to meet the coolest princess ever!” Rose let out a harsh sigh and gave Amy a push. “I told you to get off the phone with Gear! That conversation about who the 15th Doctor is gonna be was totally unnecessary! And you know he’s only humoring you when you go on those rants, anyway.” “Oh, hush. You know how I get. That’s one of the things that makes him a good coltfriend— dealing with my insatiable geekiness.” Amy giggled, and Rose rolled her eyes, her bow flopping as she shook her head. I sighed and shook my own head with a smile. Mares… “So why was the Princess here?” Amy asked. Here we go… > Chapter 8: Blushes and Brushes > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After telling my story about Princess Luna and our latest interaction, Amy and Rose had similar expressions to the ones Tesla and Starry had when I first told them about the Princess. They didn’t seem to believe it, but Dad vouched for me. “You lucky son of a gun!” Amy said. “How did you manage to get that kind of an audience with Princess Luna?” “I told you, that was my dad’s doing,” I responded. “Apparently, prayer pays off!” “No kidding,” Rose quipped. Mom came up to me. “Sweetie, I am so impressed that you see your father and me that way. You know, you’re right— I absolutely would have stood against even the Princess if she had tried to take you away, and I’m certain your father would have done the same.” She glanced at him. “No doubt about it,” he confirmed. “I’m honored that Princess Luna thinks so highly of us, and it’s all because of you. Thank you.” She smiled and kissed me on the cheek. I rolled my eyes. “Mom, come on. Don’t get all sappy on me in front of company. You’re as bad as Dad!” Mom chuckled and looked over at Dad, who shrugged. “We can’t help it, sweetie. We love you.” “I know that— why do you think you stood up to the Princess for me in my dreams?” Mom tousled my mane. “True, very true.” Then there was a knock, and High Flyer popped his head in. “Hey Crimson, I can see you’ve got friends here. Think you’re up for a few more?” I felt like I was having a party at this point. “Sure, why not?” “You might need to clear a path,” High Flyer said. Huh? “Why? Who’s coming in?” I asked “Not who— what.” “What?” “Exactly!” A different voice came from behind High Flyer— one I knew very well. I saw a cart wheeling through the door with something large on it covered by a sheet. Pushing it was two blue ponies of different hues with red manes, one carrying a camera around his neck. “Tesla! Starry! What are you guys doing here? And what in Equestria is that?” “What, we’re not allowed to come by? We just wanted to say hi!” Tesla piped. “Exactly. And this is my latest masterpiece, which I’m just about done with,” Starry chimed. “I figured I would finish it—” His head popped out from behind the cart as he got his first look at Amy and Rose. “—here…” Starry’s eyes got a bit wide, then he slowly trotted over to me. He whispered, “Woah, Crimson. Who’re the fine equines?” I popped him on the shoulder and whispered back, “Duuuude! They’re fifteen! Not cool!” “…Shoot.” His ears flattened on his head, and I saw Amy and Rose giggle at each other. I guess they heard us… “Psh. Colts…” Obviously Tesla had, too. “Sooo, anyway. Starry, Tesla, this is Amethyst Wonder and Rosebud. They live in Connecticolt, so I don’t seem ‘em much. Amy, Rose, this is Starry Knight and Tesla Coil.” Starry blushed and sheepishly waved at them as he said a weak “hi,” then he proceeded to move his big cart over to the window. Tesla, on the other hoof, jumped up and leaned on my bedside as she addressed them. She looked a little tense. “Hi! Nice to meetcha! How do you know each other?” Amy spoke first, “Hi there! Well, Rosebud and I have been friends for a long time— we had heart transplants, too. The two of us met Crimson when he came to the hospital for the first time.” Tesla’s eyes went wide. “Yeah. We’ve known Crimson since he was just a little guy,” Rose added with a giggle. I rolled my eyes. “About the same size as the filly who gave me this bow!” I heard Tesla let out a slow breath, and her eyes softened. She put her hooves back on the floor. “Wow! Starry and I are Crimson’s classmates. We’ve all known each other for a long time now, even since before his transplant.” “Wow, that’s great! You two sound like cool friends,” Amy said. She turned and winked at Rose, who nodded and returned the gesture, then they trotted to the door. “I saw a water fountain down the hall. Rose and I are gonna go grab a drink.” “Yeah. We’ll be back in a minute.” The two of them trotted out, but I could hear Amy right before the door closed: “That is the cutest thing I have ever seen!” This was followed by a giggle. Tesla looked out the door, then over to me. She looked like she was trying to force something out. “Well, they seem… nice.” I couldn’t help but smirk. Suddenly, she shook her head and her smile returned. “Oh! Crimson, before I forget, I gave Miss Turner your letter. She said to thank you, and that she would give it to her cousin today.” “Great! Thanks. Good to know that’s taken care of.” I turned to the window where Starry had positioned himself. “What exactly are you working on, Starry?” “Extra credit for art class.” He had set himself up right after he made a foal of himself in front of Amy and Rose. He hadn’t stopped painting since. Figures. “Why am I not surprised? But, why did you bring it here? It looks like it was a hassle to transport it.” Starry stopped painting, then poked his head out from behind the cart. “Actually, it’s something for you.” “Wha— really? Why’d you say it was extra credit?” “‘Cause it’s that, too. I started it at school on Friday and told Miss Turner what I was doing. She said it was a thoughtful gesture, and that she would give me extra credit for it. I just have to take a picture so I can show her the final result.” He lifted the camera around his neck. “I was wondering what that was for— I know you’re an artist, but I didn’t think you were into photography,” I chuckled. “Yeah, no. Not my thing, even though it is the least messy form of art that I know of.” I shifted over in my bed. “True. Hey, can I get a peek—” “NO! Er, not yet. Not until it’s finished.” I glanced at Tesla, who shrugged and said, “He won’t let me see it, either. Must be serious.” “You bet your flank it is. I was working on this most of the day yesterday. It’s definitely my best piece, by far. I told you, I’m almost done. So just bear with me, okay?” “Alright, alright. I know better than to argue with an artist,” I quipped. “Geez, Starry,” Tesla said. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were the one with the cru—” *gasp* Tesla’s hooves shot to her mouth and her face went bright red. She stifled a scream. “You didn’t hear that!” Then she went galloping out the door. Through all of this, my parents had been quietly standing in the corner. At Tesla’s outburst, I saw my mom put her own hoof to her mouth and smile. “Oops! Looks like the cat just let itself out of the bag!” She sighed, “I’ll go talk to her.” “Thanks, Mom. I think Amy and Rose figured it out, too.” Mom nodded. “After how protective Tesla was of you when she introduced herself, they probably did. I have a feeling that’s why they ‘went to the water fountain’.” She wagged a hoof in a quoting motion as she said that. “I’ll go find them after I talk to Tess.” I sighed, “Thanks, Ma. I don’t need any more drama.” She stopped and arched a brow. “What other drama has there been?” “I just told you about it before.” “Oh, right— your dream. Sorry!” After Mom trotted out and shut the door, Dad came up to me. “I seem to have missed something. What’s going on with Tesla?” Before I could answer, Starry said rather bluntly, “She’s got a massive crush on Crimson. Has for a while now.” He kept on painting as if this was nothing special. “And you knew?” I sighed, “Yeah. Both of us have for a while. I just wasn’t sure what to make of it at first. Mom figured it out the other day. I felt like Tess was gonna explode if she didn’t get it off her chest at some point, especially with that display in front of Amy and Rose; looks like she finally did. And Starry, you didn’t exactly help the matter with your little comment.” Starry shrugged. “Hey, dude, what can I say? You’ve got some cute friends!” “Yeah, who have coltfriends.” “Hey, I didn’t know that! You could’ve told me.” “I didn’t think I needed to!” Starry laughed, “Well, now you know for next time!” I put my hoof to my head and shook it with a smile. Dad chuckled as he pointed his own hoof at Starry. “Watch it, kiddo. You just might get yourself in trouble that way.” He came over next to my bed and tousled my mane before he settled himself on the floor. “You better keep an eye on him, buddy.” “Don’t worry, I will.” We just sat there for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of brush on canvas. It was quiet for a little too long, so I decided to break the silence. “How’s it going over there, Casanova?” It was a name I’d heard my mom call my dad before, but I didn’t really know what it meant. When Dad broke out laughing, I assumed I’d used it right and started laughing with him. I figured I’d ask him what it meant later. No response from behind the canvas. Either Starry didn’t get it, was ignoring me to keep his focus, or both. Whatever— I had a good moment with Dad. After a few more minutes of chatting, I heard a strained grunt from behind the sheet, then the light clatter of a falling paintbrush. “Finally! DONE!” > Chapter 9: One Down > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “…Dude…” I was speechless. I slowly got out of bed, dragging my IV lines behind me, to go toward the window. Starry finally revealed his work, and it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. I’m not saying that because he’s my friend; my Mom works at an arts center— there’s art all over the walls. This was just as good, if not better, than the things hung in the Center. The painting showed Princess Luna and me sitting on a cliff, looking up at the night sky, while I held a portable telescope. One small, particular detail caught my eye. “Hey, how come that star up there is red?” Starry chuckled. “Oh, that’s just a little wordplay at work. Or, I guess I should say brush-play.” “What?” I didn’t really get it. “Well, you told me about red giants when you went on one of your astronomy rants a long time ago. What’s another shade of red that you know? I’ll give you a hint.” He pointed a hoof straight at me. “What? You mean… crimson?” He grinned and nodded, then pointed at the painting. “Yeah, so what’s that?” Dad smiled and put a hoof over his mouth. “Starry, that’s clever. Very nice!” I smirked and shook my head. “A crimson star. Gotta admit, that’s slick.” “So, what do you think?” Starry sounded like he was ready for the official critique. He looked a bit nervous, as if I were a famous art critic or something. I took in the entirety of the painting again. “Starry… you’re ten! How are you this good?” Starry scratched behind his head. “Soooo… you like it?” For some reason I wasn’t getting the point across. “Dude, this is amazing! You’ve seriously been holding out; I’ve never seen you do anything like this before! How did you know what Princess Luna looks like? Did you use a picture from one of our schoolbooks or something?” “Actually, yeah,” he responded. “I used our history book on the Changeling invasion. It had the best pictures.” Considering what I remembered about that from school, I couldn’t help but think, Well, that’s ironic. My dad looked just as awestruck as me. “Starry, this is fantastic. How long did it take you to finish this?” Starry thought for a second. “Well, counting Friday, a good amount of yesterday, and today, I’d say… between ten and eleven hours? Yeah, that sounds about right.” Dad and I looked at each other. We seemed to be thinking on exactly the same wavelength. Both of our mouths went slightly agape, and we raised our eyebrows at each other. Then we turned back to look at the painting again. “Wow.” “Wow.” After complimenting Starry multiple times, I couldn’t help but mess around with him a bit. “Dude, this is incredible, but you know my coat’s not that color.” He stuck his tongue out at me with a smirk as I chuckled. We’ve known each other long enough to know when we aren’t being serious. “I know, smart aleck. I thought the darker red made for better contrast with the sky. And before you say anything about it, yes, I did paint the whole canvas. The outsides are white on purpose— it made the three-dimensional effect easier to paint.” I hadn’t even noticed that at first. “It also gave me a free spot to put my signature. I gotta work on that…” At that moment, I heard the door open behind us. I turned around and saw Mom, Amethyst, and Rosebud trot in, followed by Tesla. Tess’s head was facing the floor, but I could see her glaring at my mother through the tops of her eyes. When she finally looked up and saw Starry’s painting, her face fell into the same expression as Mom and the girls’— wide eyes and open mouths. Nopony moved until I heard squeaking hinges and the faint click of the door shutting. “Starry, is that what you were doing yesterday?” Tesla asked. Starry nodded sheepishly. “No wonder you said you were busy…” “My word, Starry, that’s remarkable!” Mom appeared to be in as much awe as Dad and me. Aside from being a musician, she also takes a shine to physical art. Considering what I know about my mom’s experience at the Center, and other art galleries, a compliment from her was an achievement, to be sure. Rose chimed in, “Wow, Starry, you’re really talented!” “Yeah! How old are you, ten? That’s incredible!” Amy added. Starry blushed and backed up to the window as Rose and Amy threw him their praises. At that moment, I noticed something shining through the window. The glare stung my eyes, so I moved over, and that was when I realized that the light wasn’t coming from outside. My eyes went wide as I discovered the source of the light; it was right behind Starry… Since he was facing everypony else in the room, Starry was the only one that didn’t see the light reflecting off the window. Tesla, my parents, the girls, and I all put our hooves over our eyes to shield them. When Starry saw all the hooves go up, he squinted and turned toward the window to see what everypony was looking at. As Starry revealed his back to the room, and the light faded, there was a unanimous, yet quiet gasp from everypony other than myself. I smiled, realizing I had been the first to see the paintbrush and palette adorning Starry’s flank. “What’s everypony looking at? The sun isn’t that bright.” He turned back around and looked at everypony in confusion. I looked at Tesla and my parents and asked, “Can I tell him? Please?” All three of them smiled and said in unison, “Do it.” Even after what I had told my mother earlier, I decided to add a little drama to the moment. I took a second to think, then I sighed, shook my head, and looked at Starry with the most apologetic look I could muster. “I’m sorry, Starry, but you aren’t a Cutie Mark Crusader anymore.” He cocked a brow at me. “Dude, what the hay are you talking about?” I felt kinda bad leading Starry on like that, but then again, you only get to tell a friend something like this once, so I wanted it to be memorable. I instantly changed my expression to what I’m positive was the widest smile I have ever made, and patted my own flank with a hoof. “Congrats, mister artíste.” Starry’s jaw dropped, and his eyes nearly bulged out of his skull before he whipped his head around so fast that I could hear his neck pop. Then, I’m pretty sure everypony on the entire fifth floor of the hospital must’ve put their hooves to their ears. “SWEET CELESTIA, I DID IT!” > Chapter 10: Connections > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After numerous bouts of jumping, crying, hugging, and reassuring various nurses that he wasn’t having a psychotic break, Starry eventually settled down. Though still ecstatic, and panting due to his outburst, it seemed his father’s sense of professionalism had finally started kicking in. “Crimson… Tess… whew, sorry. Need to catch my breath.” Starry was still smiling as he stood up, but his smile faltered. “Hey, just because I have my cutie mark, it doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends, right?” I laughed. “Come on, dude. I was joking. Do you really think we would buck you to the curb like that? Just because you’re not technically a Crusader anymore, it doesn’t mean you’re not still a friend!” “Yeah, silly! Crusaders for life!” Tesla put her hoof out in front of her. Starry’s smile came back as he and I did the same to make a three-way hoof-bump. Everypony else gave a small chuckle, while I saw Tess blushing at me out of the corner of my eye. I glanced over at Starry with a smile; I noticed him furrowing his brow a bit as he began looking at the floor. He turned around and looked at his painting, then to me. As his pupils shifted from one corner of his eyes to another, then another, I could tell that he was deep in thought. He looked down again for a moment and tapped his hoof in a few random places on the floor. Then he slowly looked up at me, his eyes starting to widen as he furrowed his brow even more. He stared straight into my eyes, mouth open, for a good five seconds. I got a little weirded out. I raised my eyebrows at him and said, “Uhhh, yes?” “…You…” “Huh?” Starry pointed a hoof at me. “It… it was you!” I had no idea what he was going on about. “Dude, what are you talking about? What did I do?” “Don’t you see? I got my cutie mark thanks to you!” That certainly caught my attention. “What? How do you figure that?” I looked at Tesla with a cocked brow— she returned my look with the same expression. Tesla backed away from us as Starry walked towards me, ranting. Based on what I had learned about the Element of Laughter, this would have put even her to shame. “Think about it! If you hadn’t gotten cancer then you wouldn’t have met Princess Luna and if you hadn’t met Princess Luna then you wouldn’t have told me and Tess about her and I wouldn’t have thought to start making that painting for you and you and your parents and Tesla and Rosebud and Amethyst wouldn’t have said how great it looked and made me realize that I really was good at this and I NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN MY CUTIE MARK! IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!” He grabbed me and hugged me so tight I could hardly breath. He almost yanked my PICC line out. After a few seconds, Starry relaxed his grip, panting again. It took him a moment to catch his breath before he looked me in the eye, a single tear trickling out one of his own. He said quietly, “…You gave me my cutie mark, Crimson.” I put a hoof on his shoulder. “Well… it sounds like your logic could be right, but I wouldn’t go that far. You’re the one with the talent, dude.” “I guess, but—” “Besides, you’ve loved painting for a while now. I’m sure you would have gotten your cutie mark for another piece of art, even if you hadn’t painted this one. It’s all you, dude.” “Maybe, but I didn’t get my cutie mark making any old picture; I got it making something for you. You were a huge part of this, Crimson.” He turned his head and looked at his newly acquired cutie mark. “Hey dude, if you want to give me credit for it, by all means go ahead. But I don’t think I deserve it.” As I said this, I realized I sounded like Princess Luna. Starry looked back at me. “Yes, you do. With all the junk you’re going through, you still managed to help me get my cutie mark. That’s a big deal. I—” His eyes suddenly bulged again. “I need to go home! I need to tell my mom! I wonder what my dad’ll say when he finds out? If Princess Luna comes back, can you ask her to tell Knightfall his son got his cutie mark? Anyway, I’ll see you guys later! Nice to meet you, Rosebud and Amethyst! And thanks again, Crimson!” He galloped out the door, leaving the painting on the cart by the window. The sudden absence of the hyper colt resulted in a deafening silence, but everypony in the room wore a smile. Hey, wait… unknown connections… a reason for dealing with it all… Could… could that be it? Maybe I really did play a bigger part in Starry’s cutie mark than I thought… but, it’s his talent. He earned his cutie mark himself… didn’t he? After letting my mind drift for a few moments, I shrugged and looked around the room. When my eyes rested back on the painting, a thought occurred to me. “Uh oh. He didn’t take a picture of it, did he? So much for his extra credit.” This elicited unanimous laughter and an ‘oops’ from my dad. “Oh well, I’m sure he’ll be back for that, but probably not tonight.” Everypony mumbled a different remark of agreement. I let out a deep sigh and turned to Tesla. “Well, one down and two to go, I guess. Which one of us you think’ll be next?” She shrugged. “No clue. You might be at a bit of a halt with this cancer stuff, but it doesn’t mean you can’t still try for it.” “True.” Of course, Mom had to put in her two bits. “Don’t do anything reckless, please. You are in a hospital, after all. And please keep in mind that you are sick; you need your rest.” I rolled my eyes. “I knoooooooow. Geez…” With that, I saw Tesla glaring at my mother again. I didn’t know what my mom had said before to make Tess so angry, but I was wary about the look she was giving my mother. I thought about Tesla's outburst, as well as the conversations I'd had with her… and about her. I contemplated everything for a moment before I made up my mind. If anything was going to work, I would have to make the first move. I couldn’t help but imagine an invisible hourglass over my head, the sands falling at the same pace that the machines pumped fluids through my PICC. The only thing I had to lose at this point was time, so I figured this was the best opportunity to do it. As I slowly put a hoof around Tess’s neck, she looked at me and her face turned the color of my coat. “You know, Tess, maybe you can help me with that. With all this stuff going on, I’ll need somepony by my side to keep me in line.” I flashed her as sincere a smile as I could, hoping to successfully give her the message. The corners of Tesla’s mouth slowly turned up, and I watched as her eyes began watering. She took her turn to jump at me and give me a hug, being careful around my PICC. As Tesla stood there crying into my shoulder, I could hear her mumbling between her sniffles. “I… I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long, Crimson. Wh-What happened earlier— that wasn’t how I pictured it at all.” Feeling it might be a bit insensitive, I decided not to tell Tess that I had already known about her crush. As she and Rose quietly trotted to the door, Amy whispered to me, “We’re going to go, Crimson. Glad to see you’re taking all of this well.” She waved a hoof around the room, gesturing to the machines and my IV, then pointing to Tesla and silently mouthing the words ‘and that.’ “Hopefully we’ll see you again soon!” Rose gave her a small push. Out of Tesla’s earshot, she quietly added, “C’mon, let’s go. She needs time to let it sink in.” She smiled and winked at me, and Amy stifled a giggle. I cocked my brow at them and stuck out my tongue with a smile to match Rose’s. I watched as Mom and Dad followed the girls’ example. As they left the room, I saw Mom glance at Tesla with raised eyebrows and slowly shake her head. What’s going on with these two? > Chapter 11: Reality Check > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- This wasn’t exactly one of my better days. The doctors started the new chemo this morning, and I haven’t felt particularly cheery since. They woke me up early before they started; they were afraid if I woke up with any strange, new sensations that the chemo may have caused, I would freak out. They were probably right, but I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. Tesla also left kind of late last night, despite having school today; Mom eventually had to usher her out, earning herself another glare. With those two factors in play, I didn’t fit that many hours of sleep in. It’s a really crummy sensation— I felt tired, but I couldn’t sleep. At other times, I was bored and wanted to do something, but I didn’t feel like actually doing anything. I’ve never had either of those problems before… With Mom at work, Dad took off an extra day to stay with me during chemo. He tried to start up a conversation with me, but I don’t think he got the result he wanted. I did remember to ask him what ‘Casanova’ meant, and he laughed about that; his explanation kind of bored me, though. He looked a bit put down when I stopped listening, but that’s understandable. He probably thought I was straight up ignoring him after I had just asked him a question. That wasn’t the case, though— I just felt really crummy. I felt like that all day; ponyfeathers, it sucked. To add to it, at one point I scratched my head and found strands of blue and yellow in my hoof— quite a few of them. I realized my mane had started coming out. Great— it seemed like everything bad the doctors said could happen was happening all at once. The day dragged on for what felt like forever, but eight o’clock is late enough for me. Buck it, I’m gonna try going to sleep again. I seriously hope I feel better in the morning. Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha… Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha… Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha… Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha… Geez, aside from the obvious, now I know why cancer is such a hassle. Those treatments are not fun. I felt better today, though. I woke up late again, but at least I felt refreshed. Since it was a weekday, Tess and Starry were at school, and Dad went back to work. I decided to drag myself and my IV pole down the hall to the PonyLife room. Luckily, the doctors said there was no reason why I couldn’t go in there. My treatment ended last night, and the doctors had expected all of the side effects I dealt with. As I left Mom to her own devices on her computer, High Flyer escorted me as I dragged my pole down the hall. When I walked into the PonyLife room, I saw a familiar face sitting with an unfamiliar one. “Crimson! Hey!” It was Blackhawk; he sat with another colt, sifting through a pile of board games. Blackhawk made the introduction: “Hey, Crimson, this is White Stripe. Stripes, this is Crimson Star. I met him…” He paused and looked at me. “…what was it, about a week ago?” “Maybe a bit more, but that sounds about right. I haven’t seen you since then. What’ve you been up to? Just hangin’?” Blackhawk shrugged. “Basically. I finished all of my Power Ponies comic books, and I don’t have much else with me. There’s really not a lot to do around here, is there?” “No, not really. I’ve got my games, and you have your comic books, but they get boring after a while, don’t they?” Blackhawk shrugged again and nodded as I turned to the other colt. “Oh! Sorry, White Stripe. Hi there! Nice to meet you.” “…Hey. You can just call me Stripes if you want,” White Stripe replied. Aside from being a bit large, Stripes looked about the same age as Blackhawk, if not younger. He was an earth pony too, and his coat was a really dark brown, even darker than Blackhawk’s. The black stripes on various parts of his body threw me off for a second, but then I noticed that his lack of a mane followed the ‘chemo side effect’ pattern. Thinking back to yesterday, I realized I would soon be following that pattern as well. I felt a little miffed— he kind of brushed me off, like he wasn’t interested in me at all. I almost felt insulted, but then Blackhawk gave Stripes a nudge, and he spoke up again. “Sorry. I do like meeting new ponies, I just may not look like it right now. I’ve been in the hospital for a while, and I haven’t felt much better since I got here. I’m waiting on a bone marrow transplant, but they had to do chemo first. Gotta say, the chemo sucks.” All the negativity I felt toward him vanished in an instant. “Yeah, I feel ya. I had treatment yesterday, and I felt like crud all day.” Blackhawk looked at me. “Wait, Crimson, aren’t you just getting Ribucks? You seemed alright with it when I met you.” “I was, but the doctors said it didn’t do as much as they wanted it to. They gave me a different one yesterday. I was barely awake when the docs told me about it, but I think they called it Neightoxin.” Blackhawk and Stripes looked at each other and nodded with a unanimous “yep.” It sounded like they both knew what I was talking about, but Blackhawk made the first comment. “Yeah, Neightoxin is the first chemo that really starts bringin’ you down. It’s not that bad, but it’s definitely worse than Ribucksimab. That’s the one that caused this.” He swept his hoof over his head. “Did you pull any of yours out?” I nodded. “Yeah, I got a few strands. All I did was scratch my head, and they started coming out— it wasn’t particularly encouraging. Well, at least I won’t need a hairbrush in a little while, huh?” Both Blackhawk and Stripes laughed. “There you go! That’s the way to look at it.” Blackhawk smiled and gave me a hoofbump. “Yeah, I lost my mane to the ‘toxin, too. Another chemo took my tail.” Stripes shifted in his chair and showed me his backside, which was bare of mark and tail. “Well, that’s a bummer,” I responded. “How many chemos have you had? If you don’t mind me asking.” “Nah, it’s cool. I think I’ve had five different ones. Sorry to break it to you, but the side effects get worse with the chemos after the Neightoxin.” I wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear that. “Yeah, Crimson, he’s right,” Blackhawk said. “Try not to worry about it too much, though. You deal with it as it becomes necessary, but for now, just hope you’re good with the ‘toxin. Oh yeah, that’s the other thing the doctors all say: don’t lose hope.” I nodded. “I guess you’re right… Can we change the subject?” “Yeah, please,” Stripes sighed. Suddenly, I saw Stripes perk up a bit. “Hey B, I just realized— with Crimson here, that makes three of us. You wanna get out Settlers?” “Hey, yeah!” Blackhawk rummaged through the pile of games, then looked over his shoulder at me. “Hey Crimson, you ever played Settlers of Patan?” My eyes lit up. “You guys play Patan? Oh-ho, I’m in!” “I’m guessing that’s a yes,” Stripes said with a chuckle. “You bet your flank it is.” Both of them laughed along with me. I sat down at the table as Blackhawk grabbed the box from the pile. My curiosity finally got the better of me, so I decided to ask Stripes before I forgot. “Hey dude, I’m sorry if this is insulting, but I just have to ask— White Stripe?” He chuckled, then looked at me with a smirk and a raised brow. “Believe me, you’re not the first pony to ask. Let’s just say my parents have an interesting sense of humor.” The three of us laughed as Blackhawk found the box and started taking out the pieces we needed. “I’d styled my mane before, but it doesn’t really help right now. I’ll do it again when it grows back— hopefully that’ll take care of the confusion.” He shrugged as the three of us put the game board together. After we set everything up, it was game on. Aside from the IV bags on the poles next to each of us in our peripheral vision, it felt like we were just three colts playing a game. I think we all needed that little escape. > Chapter 12: The Not-So-Secret's Out > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Gotta admit, aside from the weird contrast with the ugly green of the wall, it looks pretty good hanging up there.” Starry stood at the edge of my bed, staring at his work. “Yeah, doesn’t it? You did an awesome job on that thing. Now go ahead and take the picture before you forget again.” “Psh, thanks for the vote of confidence, Crimson.” “Well, he’s right, silly!” Tesla laughed. “I still can’t believe you left before you took the picture. That camera was probably flapping around your neck as you galloped home! I would think that would be a good enough reminder.” Starry waved a hoof at her. “Oh, gimme a break. I was excited, alright?” *click* “There! Now hush up.” After Stripes, Blackhawk, and I got tired of Patan, we all went back to our own rooms. When I got back to mine, I found Starry’s picture hanging on the wall opposite my bed. Mom had asked the nurses if they could replace the picture that was there with Starry’s painting, and they happily obliged. It really brightened the place up, despite being a nighttime scene. Starry and Tesla came back after school, Starry brandishing his camera once again. Tess and I both got our turns teasing him about leaving without taking his picture the first time, but we conceded that he had a good reason. Earning your cutie mark was definitely cause for excitement, even if it induced forgetfulness. “So what did Miss Turner say?” I asked him. “About what? My painting or my cutie mark?” “Both!” Starry ruffled the back of his mane. “Actually, it’s kinda funny. When we first got to school yesterday, she told me to stay behind at lunch to talk to her during recess. I thought I was in trouble; she was so stone-faced when she said it to me that I didn’t think she had even seen my cutie mark. I would’ve believed that; everypony else was crowding around me and asking about it.” I rested my chin on a hoof. “What did she talk to you about?” “Well, I was dead wrong about her not seeing my cutie mark. As soon as everypony was outside for recess and I went to talk to her, I could have sworn she wasn’t our teacher anymore. She gave me a huge hug and squealed like a filly! Turns out she saw it as Tess and I walked up the path, before I started getting mobbed; she’s got eyes like a hawk! She totally played me like a foal.” Tesla and I laughed. “You should’ve seen it, Crimson. I’ve never seen Miss Turner so excited!” Starry stared at her. “Wait, you saw that?” Tess nodded with a great big smile. “I was peeking through the door.” Starry face-hoofed and shook his head as Tess spoke. He looked worried for some reason. “Starry’s right; she didn’t look like our teacher at all— she looked like his mother!” Starry gave a harsh sigh and lightly pushed her. Tess paid it no heed— she kept laughing as she stumbled to stay on her hooves. “I took off after I saw that he wasn’t in trouble. I didn’t wanna get caught.” Starry’s worry seemed to vanish. “Oh, really? Then… you didn’t hear the conversation we had after Miss Turner calmed down, did you?” Tesla stopped laughing. “No… why?” Starry waved a hoof. “Oh, uh, no reason. We were just chatting. I told her how Crimson was doing, and she thanked me for filling her in.” He turned to me. “I told her we planned to see you yesterday, but when I mentioned you were getting chemo, she told me we should let you rest.” He turned and spoke to Tesla. “That’s why I told you not to come here, either. I decided we should listen to Miss Turner.” Something he said stuck out at me. “Wait, how did you know I was getting chemo?” “Remember right before I finished my painting when you were chatting with your dad? I heard you two talking about it. I didn’t say anything 'cause I was too focused… and I had no idea what the hay that word you said was, so I ignored it.” I chuckled. “Honestly, neither did I. I asked my dad what it meant yesterday, but I wasn’t really paying attention when he answered. It sounded boring. Besides, I felt like crud all day yesterday, so you were smart not to come. I would’ve been horrible company.” Her eyebrows curving upward, Tesla leaned on my bed as she looked at me with wide eyes. “Was it that bad?” I thought about my conversation with Blackhawk and Stripes. “Compared to what I hear can happen, I guess it wasn’t that bad. But for me, it sucked.” Tesla groaned and put a hoof on mine, which she gently started rubbing. When she saw Starry staring at her, she quickly jolted her hoof behind her back, realizing he still didn’t know… or so she thought. Starry looked at me with his brows raised, grinning. I looked at Tesla, then back at him. I matched his grin and nodded. “Yeah, she finally told me.” Starry looked at Tesla and exclaimed, “Well, it took ya long enough!” Tess cocked her brow at him, then narrowed her eyes; I could see the daggers. “Did… did you know?” Starry snickered and nodded. She looked ready to pounce on him. I figured I should intervene before her head blew like a volcano. I tapped her hoof, and her expression immediately softened as she looked back at me. I tried, but failed at suppressing a smirk. “I did, too.” She looked like she was about to cry. Tess put all fours back on the floor and stomped her hoof. “Why didn’t you say something? I had no idea how to tell you!” “I didn’t either!” I responded. “What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey, do you like me?’ What if I was wrong? That would’ve been so awkward!” Tess hung her head and started making circles on the floor with her hoof, glancing at me through the tops of her eyes. “Well… I guess that’s true… But what about you? Why didn’t you say anything?” She pointed a hoof at Starry and glared daggers at him again. “Me? I, well… Buck it, I honestly have no excuse,” he sighed. “Dang RIGHT you don’t!” Tess shouted. Then she stomped into the hallway, trying and failing to slam the slowly closing door. Starry and I couldn’t help but snicker again. > Chapter 13: The Letter > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mom poked her head through the doorway. “What was THAT about?” “Don’t ask.” “Don’t ask.” “Do you want me to go talk to her?” I thought about the looks Tess had been giving her lately. I decided it was probably a bad idea. “No, it’s okay. She’ll probably come back in a minute. Just let her blow off the steam.” Mom shrugged. “Well, okay. I’m out here on my computer if you need me.” “Sounds good.” As Mom shut the door, I propped my face on my hooves and sighed. I heard Starry do the same, but his sigh sounded slow and heavy. It had an air of relief about it, but a hint of worry as well. “Good, she’s gone.” I cocked my brow at him. “Huh? Why is that good?” “Oh, I don’t mean it that way. It’s just… now I can tell you what I really talked about with Miss Turner.” The tone in his voice made me wary. He trotted up to my window and looked out of it for a moment before he turned back around to face me. “Miss Turner’s really worried about you, Crimson. When I talked to her at lunch, aside from congratulating me for getting my mark, she took the opportunity to really talk to me about you. I would have told you about this sooner, but when she told me to let you rest, I figured I could just tell you today.” “What does this have to do with Tess being gone?” I asked him. “Well, I didn’t really want her to hear this. Especially now that I know she finally opened up to you.” “Dude, you sound a little too serious for my taste.” “Yeah, I know, with good reason.” He sighed again. “You remember Miss Turner’s cousin, right? The one that gave you the Crusaders book? Well, it turns out his daughter had cancer, too. She—” ”Wait… had?” His lips pursed into a flat line and he nodded. “…Yeah. Miss Turner doesn’t keep that much contact with her cousin, so she didn’t know until recently. He told her about it when she asked him for a copy of the book. I could tell she was trying really hard not to cry when she told me her cousin’s daughter didn’t make it.” It felt like a buck to the head. I didn’t know how to respond; I just looked off into space until Starry spoke again. “Actually, I don’t know if I should’ve told you that. Miss Turner clearly knew that Tess and I were going to see you today. This is from her; she might have wanted to tell you herself.” He took an envelope with my name on it out of his saddlebag and gave it to me. “Go ahead and see what that is. I’ll go find Tess.” “Alright. Hopefully she doesn’t want to hurt us for not telling her we knew. Be careful— you know that filly can be a hard hitter, magic or not.” “Oh yeah, I know.” He trotted out the door, leaving me alone with Miss Turner’s note. I opened the envelope and unfolded the familiar stationary. Crimson— I had a conversation with Starry yesterday. I congratulated him on earning his cutie mark, which he told me you helped him acquire. The logic behind his explanation was quite interesting— we spoke at length about it. I am pleased at how humble you are, but I believe there may be a hint of truth in Starry’s reasoning. You do seem to have played a big part in helping him realize his talent. If he wishes to credit you, I would allow him to do so. He seems to have taken joy in the fact that one of his closest friends helped him obtain his cutie mark, despite the conditions. Starry also told me that you appear to be taking your new situation quite well; I’m glad to hear that. I have something I want to tell you, but I must ask you not to tell anypony else of this. Starry is the only exception: I told him myself because I needed to relay it to somepony for my own sake, and I know how close you two are. When I first spoke to my cousin about getting you a copy of The History of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, I told him the basics of your condition; I had a feeling he wouldn’t get a copy of the book for just any random student. Considering how open you’ve been with your classmates about your medical history, I hoped you wouldn’t mind. I would have asked you first, but I wanted the book to be a surprise. I was still expecting some resistance from my cousin when I made the request for the book, but I was taken aback when he immediately agreed to get you a copy. Then he told me something that I was not prepared to hear. My cousin’s daughter, who is barely a year or two older than you, was diagnosed with Acute Neighloid Leukemia last year. I fear that the more I write about it, the more upset I may become, so I will skip to the point: she is unfortunately no longer with us. The reason I was able to hoof-deliver your thank-you note to my cousin is because he requested that I visit him this weekend. He needed to speak with somepony about his loss. After a long conversation, he asked me to tell him a little more about you. I told him about who you are as a pony, not as a patient. He wrote a message to you, but I have a feeling it would be hard to read with the wet splotches on it, so I am ending my letter by copying what he wrote to you below. His letter is painful for me to write, and may be hard for you to hear, but I think it is something important for you to understand. My cousin told me I could change some of it as I saw fit if it sounded scary for you. However, with all you’ve been through, I believe you are mature enough to truly understand exactly what he has written. Feel better soon. Everypony misses you, including Brick and Boulder. Brick even asked me where he could get some dye for his mane! —Miss Turner “Dear Crimson Star, My name is Tall Tale. Your teacher, Miss Page Turner, is my cousin. She told me about your battle with cancer. For your privacy’s sake, I did not ask her for too much detail regarding your history, as I know all too well how painful this process can be. My daughter, Quick Quill, was diagnosed with cancer last year as well. She was barely older than you. She fought hard, but it pains me tremendously to say that she lost the battle. I tell you this because as her fight became harder and harder, I noticed a change in my daughter that I do not want your family and friends to see in you. As my daughter neared the end of her battle, it appeared to me that she had stopped trying to fight. She became distant, and did not seem to care what happened to her anymore. While I encouraged her to fight on, she seemed to have simply accepted her fate. She had given up hope, something that I never dreamed she would have done. Based on what my cousin has told me, you are a brave soul with a strong heart and mind. You have many friends and a solid family to support you. Not only for your own sake, but for theirs as well, do NOT give up hope. My daughter failed to realize that hope was crucial to succeed in her battle. When she gave it up, it was not long before her battle ended. A line from a film I saw many years ago sums up my message to you quite well. Just remember, Crimson: hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies. I hope you are enjoying the book. It was an honor to obtain it for somepony like you. Fight on. —Tall Tale” Don’t give up hope: Blackhawk said that, too. It could just be a coincidence, but these connections keep appearing. Maybe there is a reason for everything that’s happening… > Chapter 14: More Than Two Bits > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Dad, you’ve been doing this for longer than I’ve been alive. How in Equestria am I better than you?” “Have you ever considered the idea that maybe I’m letting you win?” “Good try, but I can tell that you’re not; I get my ‘focused face’ from you— I know what it looks like.” “You most likely get your gaming prowess from me, too. Along with your cockiness when you win.” He tickled me in the ribs, causing me to drop my controller and laugh. Dad and I had been playing Sonic the Hedgehog; I always beat him in versus mode. Both of us had a laugh when I mentioned something I had thought of before we started playing: considering the wing of the hospital I was in, a certain Element of Kindness was probably rolling in her grave. There is no WAY Fluttershy would have condoned that kind of behavior from hedgehogs. “I can still beat you at Go Fish, though,” he said with a small chuckle. I put my controller on the side table. “That was ONE game! You looking for another rematch?” Dad cocked a brow and smirked. “Fine. Grab the cards— you’re on!” It had been a great day. Mom was at home taking care of housework, so Dad and I got to spend some quality father-son time together. Despite my having to lay in bed the whole day, he still managed to keep me occupied. It was also a day to celebrate; today was his first official day of retirement. As Dad dealt the cards out onto my bed, I glanced at the TV, paused on the video game’s main menu. It randomly jarred something in my memory. “Hey Dad, I just remembered something.” “What’s up, buddy?” “You remember when you first told me you were going to retire, and Tesla and Starry came and saw me?” “Ummm… yeah. Why?” “Why didn’t you want me to tell them you were doing more than just game testing? I’ve been meaning to ask you, but I kept forgetting.” He finished dealing and put the cards down. “You know, I had been meaning to explain that to you. I’ve been forgetting, too. You see, Crimson, I had kept my promotion in Big Macrosoft low-key around town for a reason. In a town such as Ponyville, few families can afford luxuries like many of the ponies in Canterlot can. Since we didn’t have or need them while you were growing up, I felt it was unnecessary to announce that we suddenly could have them. “Money can change ponies, Crimson. Having too much of it can be a bad thing. When I got promoted, your mother and I decided to continue living on only slightly more than what we needed so we could live the same lifestyle we always had. The only change was that we had some extra money around if anything happened. The rest of what I’ve been making has been put away for the future. Your mother and I raised you hoping you would be satisfied with what was provided for you. Despite all the challenges you’ve been through, if not because of them, I’m proud to say we succeeded; you’re one of the most mature colts I’ve seen in this entire town. Even more so than some of the adults.” “Well, thanks,” I responded. “But what does that have to do with Starry and Tesla?” “You see, buddy, like I mentioned before, money can change ponies. Not only the ponies that have it, but the ponies they know. If certain ponies found out we had the kind of money we have, they might ask us for favors. If ponies with money aren’t careful, sometimes they can be taken advantage of.” I had to let it sink in for a moment, but after it did, I caught what he was implying. “Wait a minute. You think that Starry and Tesla would—” “Oh, absolutely not!” He cut me off. “Those two are the least likely to try and take advantage of you. You’ve known each other for years, and you all like each other for who you are, not what you have. Especially Tesla, you little casanova, you!” He rubbed my head. “Give it a rest, Dad. And stop, I’m still not used to this yet.” I slowly passed a hoof over my bare head. “Sorry, buddy. I guess I’m not used to that, either.” “It’s fine; they did say it should grow back after a while. So wait… if you’re not worried about Starry and Tesla taking advantage of me, why couldn’t I tell them?” “Well, buddy, those two are very excitable. While it’s more than likely they would be incredibly happy for you if they knew, it’s something your mother and I don’t want being common knowledge. I’m just worried Starry or Tesla might accidentally let it slip out to somepony, and it would spread around town. If we told them, we would need them to keep the fact a secret, and I don’t want that to be a burden for them to carry.” I thought about it for a minute. “I guess that makes sense. Wow, talk about putting your two bits in, huh?” Dad smiled and leaned closer to me. “Believe me, buddy. It’s a lot more than two bits.” “Huh?” “Well, on top of what I’ve been putting into accounts for you, your grandmother has been giving me money for those accounts a few times a year. All of those additions add up. She keeps telling me she wants you to have enough so that you can give money to your foals when the time comes.” I sighed and looked around at all the machines. “You mean if I have foals…” He put a hoof under my chin, then turned and lifted it so our eyes met. “Hey. You showed me that letter from your teacher. That was sound advice her cousin gave you; make sure you follow it, alright?” I had gone and put myself in a funk, and Dad noticed. “I know, you’re right.” “Hey, buddy, I understand this is hard, but you’re taking it incredibly well. You really are a champ, and I’m very proud of you.” He leaned into me and gave me a hug, but I was still feeling kind of down. Before he sat back, he whispered a number into my ear. I sighed again. “What’s that?” “That’s what you’ve got.” “What?” “That’s how much money you have to your name right now.” My eyes bulged and my jaw dropped. The cards scattered all over the floor as I jumped. “WHAT?!” It certainly snapped me out of my funk. He smiled. “I told you, it’s a lot more than two bits,” he said with a chuckle as he picked up the cards from the floor. “So why do I deserve 52-Pick-Up?” “Uhh… heh, sorry.” > Chapter 15: Brothers > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Is she really still upset with us?” “Well, she claims she is, but I have a feeling she’s just planning something for you. Who knows? She might show up later.” “Good point.” Starry and I were chatting in my room; he had come right after school ended. Mom was teaching lessons for most of the afternoon, and Dad was upstairs in the parents’ lounge; I think he was tired of getting his flank whooped at cards. Whatever the reason, Starry and I were alone— Tesla hadn’t come with him… again. I hadn’t seen her for three weeks. “I’m guessing that since I gave you the painting, Tess wants to give you something, too. I don’t know if I’m right, but it wouldn’t surprise me. It took her long enough to finally tell you she likes you. Now that she has, she probably won’t be shy about it. I guess it's just taking her a while to think of something for you.” “Yeah, that makes sense… But I still dunno why she'd stay away from me for so long." "Yeah, me either." I shrugged and rested my chin on a hoof. "So anyway, what’s been going on at school? Like, with everypony? You and Tess are the only ones that have actually come to visit.” “Honestly, not much— usual school stuff. Miss Turner’s been trying not to make a big deal about you not being there, but ever since she gave me that note for you, she’s seemed a lot… stronger. She’s been talking to me about you, and she mentioned something about ‘taking a page from your book.’ Class has been a lot more orderly lately. Even Brick and Boulder have chilled out to some degree.” He seemed amazed at the last sentence he had said. “Seriously? I never thought I’d see the day. Well, I haven’t, but you know what I mean.” I never thought the class bullies would ever make things easy for Miss Turner. “Yeah, I gotcha. Boulder’s still being a bit of a jerk, but Brick hasn’t been following him as much. The other day, Boulder made some crack about you not being in class because you were weak or something. I expected Brick to make some kind of supporting remark, but he didn’t. He actually told Boulder to shut up, and then he just walked away. The day after, he came in with—” “Did he dye his mane?” I interrupted him. Starry looked at me with wide eyes. “…Yeah. How’d you know?” “Miss Turner mentioned something about it in one of her letters. I didn’t think he’d actually do it, though.” “Gotcha. Yeah, I wouldn’t have either. Ever since Brick did that, Boulder’s been a bit more… quiet. I guess you could say his sidekick came over to the good side, but I’m not really sure why,” Starry said “Yeah, I’m at a loss. Hey, are you okay?” He was shifting on his hooves. Starry chuckled, “Yeah, I’m fine. I gotta hit the colt’s room— be back in a minute.” I laughed as he trotted out the door. Before the door shut, High Flyer opened it again. “Hey Crimson, I just saw your friend go out. Somepony else wants to see you; you got a minute? He said he would be quick.” I didn’t know who it could be. High Flyer would have told me if it was Blackhawk or Stripes. “Uhh… yeah, sure.” “Okay. Come on in, buddy.” He nodded to somepony in the hallway. The colt walked through the door, and my jaw dropped. The body build, wings, and red mane left no doubt in my mind who it was. After the door shut, he stared at the floor for a minute before he actually looked at me and said, “…Hey, Crimson.” “…Hey, Brick. What’s going on?” “Not much. I was here visiting somepony, and he mentioned you. I figured I’d come say hi… and thanks.” That was not a word I expected from him. “Uhh… thanks for what?” “Thanks for keeping an eye on my brother. He’s had it pretty rough lately, but I guess you have, too. I don’t see Blackhawk in a good mood that often. He’s usually just had chemo when I come; my timing seriously sucks. It looks like I finally managed to pick a good day.” “Wait— did you say brother?” I’ve heard of it happening before, but an earth pony and a pegasus being siblings is rare. “Well, he’s actually my cousin… somehow. It’s hard to explain the connection, but we’re family, and we’ve been really close since we were little. We might as well be brothers. But anyway, he likes you; he says you’re cool. I guess I’ve been too busy teasing you at school to really notice that. I… I’m sorry.” The only thing I wouldn’t have expected from Brick, other than thanks, was an apology. “Umm… it’s okay, I guess. I mean, you and Boulder have been—” His demeanor completely changed when I said that name. “Boulder’s a jerk, Crimson! He said you were weak for having cancer the other day, and when he did, I thought of Blackhawk. I wouldn’t stand for Boulder talking about my brother that way, and I won’t let him do the same to you!” A tear streamed down his cheek as he pounded a hoof on the floor. The same hoof then stroked his red mane. “I did this so Boulder would shut up about it if he wasn’t gonna say anything nice, and I think it worked. He may think you’re weak, but I sure as Tartarus don’t.” I had no idea how to react to that. “…Thanks, Brick.” Brick wiped the tear away and said, “Stay strong, Crimson.” I wasn’t sure what else to say as he slowly trotted to the door. “Keep an eye on Blackhawk for me, okay?” It took me long enough to get the words out that the door had already clicked shut before I could say them. “…Sure thing.” Starry came back in just a moment later. “Dude, was that Brick?” “Yeah…” “What did he want? He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” Starry asked. “No, it was nothing like that. He… he apologized.” “…What?” I could tell from Starry’s expression that he never expected one of the class bullies to come and apologize to me of their own accord. We were on the same page with that thought. The only difference was that now I knew a side of Brick that nopony else did. With that knowledge at my disposal… > Chapter 16: There's A Strength > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I have to say, I’m impressed. You must have made quite an impact for that colt to come and apologize on his own,” Dad said, sitting by the window. Starry had left only moments before. I didn’t have the chance to tell him about the whole chat I had with Brick, but it didn’t take me long to tell Dad about it. “You really are getting stronger by the day.” That threw me off. “Huh? What does that have to do with anything?” Dad smiled. “Well, Crimson, this is something I strongly believe in. You have a strength in yourself, everypony does. I don’t mean physical strength— it is your strength of will. That strength is fed by kindness; those who are kind help you get stronger. You have so many ponies around you that show you kindness that you have strength to spare. Despite your challenges, you have opened your heart and shown kindness to others, giving them strength as well. Your kindness toward your friend Blackhawk is not only giving him strength, but it also seems to have helped this colt Brick gain the strength to stand up to this other colt, Boulder— on your behalf, no less.” It was an interesting idea, but I didn’t get the chance to think about it for long. There was a knock at the door before it opened slightly to reveal the tips of a sky blue hoof and horn. “Can I come in?” Her voice was low and slow. “We can talk more about this later,” Dad whispered. I nodded at him, and he went to open the door. “Come on in, Tesla. I was just heading out.” Dad winked at me as Tess entered the room, then he left and let the door close. Tesla’s head faced the floor as she approached my bed. “I’m sorry, Crimson.” Those weren’t the words I expected. Apologies seemed to be a common occurrence today. “Sorry for what, Tess? What in Equestria do you have to be sorry about?” She sniffled. “Well… since Starry gave you that painting, I’ve been wanting to give you something, too. But… I don’t know what to give you. I’m not good enough with my magic to do anything cool yet, and I can’t think of anything else to do. That’s why I haven’t been here for so long. I’ve been trying to think of something, but I just can’t!" I sighed; Starry was right. She continued, "I really wish I could help you get stronger so you’d be out of here sooner. Then maybe we could go out crusading again.” “Tess, you don’t need to give me anything.” What Dad had said only moments before really registered now. “You’re already giving me what I need.” “Huh?” “You, Tess. All I need is your company, your kindness, and your friendship. You’ve been giving me that for years. That’s all I need— all of that makes me stronger. It’s why I’m still here.” A small smile crept onto her face as I saw a tear stream down her cheek. In moments, she had climbed up onto my bed and given me a hug. “Well, if you say so. That’s easy to give— I can give you as much of that as you need until you’re out of here.” Her small smile widened. “Thanks, Tess. Sounds good to me.” “Hey, listen.” Her tone took a serious shift as she looked me square in the eyes. “If you need me here, then I’m not going anywhere, so you better not either, okay? You better promise me that.” I grimaced. “I don’t know if I can guarantee that, but I can promise you that I’m gonna give it my very best shot. That okay?” Tess narrowed her eyes at me. “I guess I’ll hafta settle for that. But if all you really need is me being here to make you stronger, you better believe I’m gonna be here every day. Got it?” I smiled at her. “Perfect. Will I still get those hugs when I’m outta here?” Her expression softened back into a smile of her own as she nodded and hugged me again, but this time she didn’t let go. And that was fine with me. I opened my eyes about a half hour later to find Tess laying on the bottom edge of my bed with her eyes closed. Dad sat by the window, quietly talking to somepony who I couldn’t quite make out. Since I was still groggy, I wasn’t positive who the purple pony was at first. I didn’t give it much thought as I shifted my weight in my bed. At the same moment, the pony turned from the window to look in my direction. The worn face, along with the chalkboard and chalk upon her flank, revealed everything about the pony I needed to see. “Gramma!” Tesla’s eyes bolted open as she slipped and fell off the bed. “Ow!” I heard soft laughter and the slow clop of hooves. “I thought I had a good hold on those sheets.” “You know, it might be wiser to lay in the middle of the bed next time, dear.” Tess was helped to her hooves by a sturdy grip. “Would you be Tesla, by any chance?” Tess glanced up at unknown eyes before she responded, “Umm, yes. Hi. Sorry, but who are you?” My grandmother chuckled again. “She’s my gramma!” I said, as she turned to me and gave me a hug. “How’s school?” She sighed. “A little too well, Sweetheart. I would have been here sooner had I not been so busy with conferences. Of course the Baltimare board of education decides to start changing things in our favor right when I want to be leaving. I had to be there to head the teachers’ council. Otherwise I would have been here in a heartbeat.” Dad remarked, “Don’t go into that again, Mom. He’s got enough on his plate.” She turned to my Dad and said, “Believe me, dear, I am well aware.” Then she turned back to me. “You do know I will always be here when you need me, don’t you? This one snag with the school was very important, but if anything absolutely urgent had happened to you, I would have dropped everything and galloped here if I had to.” “Don’t worry, Gramma, I know,” I responded with a smile. She smiled back at me and said, “Good. Dear, where are you off to?” I looked in the direction she had faced. Tess was reaching for the door handle. “Hey, yeah! Where’re you goin’?” I asked. Tess flinched and turned around. “Oh, I was gonna go home. I—” “What, with no ‘goodbye’?” “Well… I…” She fidgeted on her hooves. I smiled. “Calm down, Tess. I’m busting your chops.” My grandma spoke up, “You don’t need to leave on my account, dear.” “Oh, no, I just… I probably ought to go home. It’s getting kinda late. I’ll see you tomorrow, Crimson, okay?” “Sounds good. Say hi to the fam for me.” I gave her a little wave. “Alright.” With that, she slipped out the door. I looked at my tiles, then at the board, and my jaw dropped. No way. No freakin’ way. “Just making sure, but ‘brazen’ is a word, right? I thought I heard somepony say that once.” Gramma nodded. “It is. Are you adding on to that ‘braze’ I just put down?” “I’m adding a lot more than that.” I smiled and picked up my tiles, spelling the word out as I placed them on the board atop my bed. “J-i-n-x-i-n-g. ‘Jinxing.’ I can’t believe I got those letters just right.” I counted the points in my head, then out loud. “Okay, ‘brazen’ is 17 points. ‘Jinxing’ alone is 22, the ‘x’ on the double letter makes it 30, and the ‘j’ on the triple word makes that 90. Using all of my letters gives me another fifty points. That’s… 157 points!” I raised my hooves up in the air, causing the bed to bounce and the letters to jump around. Gramma leaned back in her chair as she shook her head. “Wow, and I thought I had a good move with that ‘z’ on a double word. I must admit, you’ve certainly gotten better. It’s good to see you’re still sharp as a tack, even if you are stuck in here.” “Yeah, I’ve been trying to keep up with the work Miss Turner sends me.” Gramma smiled. “It seems to be working. Well, there are only three tiles left in the bag, you’re ahead by 112 points, and I’ve got nothing but vowels. I concede.” “What’s that mean?” “You win.” “Sweet!” Gramma never gave up against me in Scrabble, but with those odds, I guess it was a lost cause. Dad refused to play; he was tired of getting his flank whooped at, well, everything. “Okay, mister Scrabble champ, I’m going out for a bit to grab some lunch, but I’ll be back within the hour. Would you like me to get you anything? Maybe something other than Harry Trotter to read?” I had already eaten lunch; the hospital food was surprisingly edible. In terms of other things, I had to think for a minute. My train of thought shifted to somepony else that I hadn’t seen for a little while. “Actually, Gramma, can I talk to you for a sec?” “Of course, sweetheart. Is something wrong?” Her tone changed completely, with worry reverberating from her voice and concern etched into her face. “Do you need one of the doctors?” I waved my hoof. “No, no, I’m fine. It’s just, well, Dad told me about all the money stuff you’ve been doing for me…” She arched her eyebrows at that. “…So, first I want to say thank you.” Her worry faded into a smile. “You are very welcome, honey. I was lucky enough that your grandfather left me with the ability to do that. I’m hoping you will be able to do the same for your children and grandchildren one day.” “Yeah, Dad told me that, too.” I smiled back at her. “So anyway, a friend of mine that’s down the hall isn’t exactly that lucky. If you’re going by the bookstore, could you maybe pick up some Power Ponies comic books that I could give to him?” Gramma held her hoof to my cheek. “You are such a sweet colt. Of course I will. What about something for you?” “Umm… How about some sudokus?” “Ah, yes. I forgot we have mister puzzle master here as well.” “And maybe a donut from Donut Joe’s?” I smiled with an innocent arch of the brows. Gramma laughed. “I swear, you are SO your grandfather’s grandson!” She kissed me on the forehead and trotted out the door. Dad had been sitting by the window reading the newspaper. After Gramma left, he put it down and trotted over to me. “You really are an incredible kid, buddy. Even with the situation you’re in, you want to get something for another colt when you should be waited on head to hoof.” “Well, I’ve got it pretty good in here compared to some of the other kids. A lot of the stuff they have in the PonyLife room is for really little ponies. There isn’t a lot for some of the older kids to do. I’ve got plenty to do, so I figure Blackhawk could use some new comics to read.” Dad paused for a minute and scratched his chin. “You know, that gives me an idea. Do you think you can hang out in here yourself for a few minutes?” “Yeah, I’ve got the call button if I need anypony. Why?” “I want to talk to somepony at PonyLife.” > Chapter 17: Assurance > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So what’s been going on with you, dude? I haven’t seen you in a few weeks.” Blackhawk and I were playing cards in the PonyLife room. “I know. They’ve been trying new chemotherapies and a bunch of other junk on me. All of them have made me feel really crummy. I haven’t wanted to leave my room or do much of anything lately.” He leaned on one of his hooves with a sigh. “The doctors finally gave me a break, so I got back to doing a little reading. Thanks a lot for getting those comics for me, by the way. You didn’t have to do that.” I smiled. “I had a bunch of stuff to do in my room. I couldn’t think of anything for my gramma to get me when she offered, so I figured I’d have her get something for you instead.” Blackhawk responded with his own grin. “Well, thanks. I just finished the second one.” His smile quickly faded. “You can tell I’ve been in a slump. I still have another three comic books left, and you know I’m a fast reader. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve done anything.” He sank in his chair. “Yeah, wow. It’s really been that bad?” I tried as hard as I could to keep the fear out of my voice, but I don’t think it worked. “Yeah, but I’m up at the REALLY intense treatments now. I don’t remember exactly what they called the one I’m getting now, but the doctors said it was the last one they wanted to try before going to their last resort. You’re nowhere near that level, so don’t worry about it.” Despite his assurances, I was still worried. Aside from the potential of getting that chemo myself if things didn’t go well, the fact that Blackhawk was so far into his treatments scared me. Lately, every time I’d asked if I could see him in his room, the nurses said he was having tests done, which I totally understood. I didn’t think much of it, but with what he was telling me now, I was getting nervous. Blackhawk brought me out of my thoughts when he leaned over and whispered, “Hey, you didn’t have your granny get Stripes something, did you?” I shook my head with a frown and said, “I couldn’t think of anything for him. I knew you liked comics, but Stripes never mentioned anything about his hobbies. Why?” “Didn’t wanna say anything in front of him,” he replied as his eyes shifted to the right. “Hey! It’s been ages! Where’ve you guys been?” Stripes plopped himself down at the table as he gave me a hoof-bump. He attempted the same with Blackhawk, but was greeted with a glum look. “You okay, B?” Blackhawk sighed as he leaned over onto the table. “Meh. They’ve got me on this ‘Trotsel-something’ junk. The side effects have been coming up now and then— I feel like a freakin’ mud puddle.” I stared at him with wide eyes; he seemed alright just a second ago. When Blackhawk saw the look I was giving him, he shrugged and said, “Sorry, Crimson. It just kinda hit me. Don’t worry about it— it’s not the first time this has happened.” Still laying over the table, Blackhawk smiled at Stripes. “You’re looking pretty good, though. How’re things going with you?” With Blackhawk’s slight change in tone, Stripes smiled back. “Not bad, actually. The last chemo seemed to help a bit. Still waiting on the bone marrow, but it shouldn’t be that much longer, and at least I don’t feel as crummy… for now.” Hearing that lightened the mood for me a bit. “Nice! Hey, you guys wanna get some Patan going?” Blackhawk sighed with a small smile. “I think I can manage that. Maybe it’ll help me forget the side effects.” “Sounds good to me,” Stripes replied. “Alrighty then. I’ll get the box.” Finally, some more chill time, just the three of us. “So things are still pretty uneventful over there, huh?” “Well, kind of. Now that Boulder’s finally chilled out, it’s been pretty smooth. Miss Turner pointed out to us that you’ve been doing a good job keeping up with the homework. She said if you can do it, we can, too. It’s kinda been the push I’ve needed.” “Well, glad I could help, I guess.” “No, seriously, thank you. This might sound weird, and probably mean, but here goes: Thanks to you being here, things have been looking up for me. I’m finally in with the right crowd, my grades are picking up, and my brother has a good friend. I’m sorry you’re sick, I really am, but it’s made me a better pony.” I tried to wrap my head around that. “Umm… you’re welcome?” Brick rubbed the back of his head and looked away. “…Shoot. I knew that’d sound weird. Sorry.” I waved a hoof at him. “Nah, it’s okay, I get it. It actually kinda supports something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but I won’t get into that.” He sighed, “Okay. Thanks, I felt bad there for a second.” As he started for the door, Brick turned around and said, “Hey, Crimson? Thanks for, well, everything.” I smiled. “No problem.” “Keep keepin’ an eye on him for me, ‘kay?” “Will do.” Brick smiled and said, “Thanks,” then he walked out the door. The past couple of weeks had been interesting. I’d seen a lot more of Brick than I expected— likely because Brick was seeing a lot more of his ‘brother.’ The last few times Blackhawk and I had seen each other, Brick had always been mentioned at least once. I had originally thought about using the knowledge of Brick’s vulnerable side against him for revenge… somehow. After all the times he and Boulder had teased me, Tesla, and Starry, I felt like he kinda deserved it. But the conversation with my dad about strength, and the multiple chats with Blackhawk, had changed my mind pretty quickly. I realized I didn’t have the right to slander Brick any more than he’d had the right to tease me in the first place. Besides, as far as I could tell, he had left the dark side and joined the light. Every time Brick had come to the hospital to visit Blackhawk, he had come to see me, too. Even Tesla, who had been coming every day like she promised, finally welcomed Brick’s visits. He had developed this new ‘bad-guy-gone-good’ reputation, and it suited him well. From what I heard, even Boulder saw him in a new light. He eventually stopped teasing the other kids and started following Brick’s example. Like he said, things clearly were looking up for Brick, at least on the school front. On the family front, I couldn’t tell. Brick had been seeing his ‘brother’ fairly often, but it seemed to me that he wasn’t really aware of how sick Blackhawk was. Clearly Brick didn’t know some of the things I knew about Blackhawk’s condition… but it wasn’t really my place to tell him. > Chapter 18: Lockdown > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Ugh… Hey Dad, do you know any other card games?” “Sorry, Champ. I have quite the selection from my memory banks, but I’ve taught them all to you already.” “Ponyfeathers, I’m bored…” “I’m sorry, buddy. I can’t imagine how that stuff is making you feel… other than bored, I guess. Is there anything I can do?” “I don’t think so. Maybe I can actually go to sleep this time.” “Sure, buddy— give it a go. I’ll hang here in case you need me, okay?” “Thanks, Dad.” Oy. Another day, another round of chemo. The doctors started me on another kind three weeks ago, and it seriously sucks. I don’t even remember its name, but I’ve been getting it once a week, so this is my third round now. The side effects last for at least two days after they give it to me, but the day of is the worst. Headaches, nausea, chills, and—what’d they call it, fatigue?—well, tiredness. They all suck on their own, but having all four at once is a serious pain in the flank. I haven’t been able to go to the PonyLife room since they started me on the stupid stuff. The days I really want to go are the days when the side effects are hitting me hard, but I can barely stand up on my own when they do. Even if I could, this chemo is more intense than the others I’ve had, so the docs won’t let me go at all. Ever. Something about being around other sick kids could get me sicker. If that’s the case, they must have jumped me up past the chemo that Blackhawk was on the last time I saw him. But… wouldn’t that make this the ‘last resort’ chemo that Blackhawk told me about? That’s not exactly encouraging. Maybe they’re not telling me something… I don’t really wanna think about that. Anyway, it’s not like I don’t like hangin’ with my dad, but some variety in playmates is nice, especially during the day. Daytime goes by so freakin’ slow, and Tess doesn’t come until after school. Starry’s been hittin’ the canvas a lot lately, but he still ‘escorts my fillyfriend,’ as Dad likes to say, a couple times a week. Since this stupid lockdown they’ve got me in hasn’t let me leave my room at all, I haven’t seen Blackhawk or White Stripe in a while. Hopefully they’re doing okay. I don’t wanna think about that junk. I’m sure they’re fine. When all of those side effects hit at the same time, it can really screw with your head. It can be especially hard to go to sleep, which is really the one thing I want to do right now. Unfortunately, it’s even harder to fall asleep when ponies are talking around you. “In here, Center.” “Do I need to clean my hooves or something?” “That would be appreciated, yes. There’s a sanitizer pump right there.” “Okay.” Mom had walked in with her violin case. A filly with another case had come in behind her. She looked familiar, but I didn’t really know her. I thought I had seen her at the Arts Center once… “How are you doing, sweetie?” Mom asked as she came up and kissed me on the forehead. “Meh. I’ve been better,” I sighed. “I wish I could just go to sleep.” She smiled. “Well, maybe we can help you with that.” “We?” “Yes, sweetheart.” She motioned to the filly she had brought with her. “Crimson, this is Center Stage. She takes violin lessons with one of the other mares at the Arts Center.” I glanced over at the filly, who gave me a small smile and waved. “Center, this is my son, Crimson Star.” I gave her a weak wave in return. Mom continued, “Center is about your age, sweetheart, and she’s one of our highest-level students. Quite the feat for a pegasus.” Mom turned to Center and said, “To be honest, dear, I envy you. So talented at violin without using magic. I don’t know how you do it!” Center Stage smiled and ran a hoof through her mane. “I also hear you are quite the dancer.” The filly blushed and looked away. “Anyway, when I mentioned to the other teachers that you weren’t feeling well, Center here overheard and offered to play for you. How would you feel about that?” Mom asked. “Some light music to lull you to dreamland? Maybe you’ll see Princess Luna again,” she said with a smile. That was the kicker for me. It wasn’t like I could summon her on command, but with Princess Luna, I never knew. Besides, it was a win-win situation: even if I didn’t see Princess Luna, I would still at least get some sleep. Music couldn’t hurt. “Yeah, sure. Why not?” “Good. I’ll start off, and Center will join me for a duet shortly. Is that alright?” “Mom, you’re the musician. If you think it’ll sound good, go for it.” I knew plenty about music, but Mom knew so much more. Anything she played always sounded good to me. Mom smiled. “Okay, then. Center, are you ready?” I saw the filly nod to her. Then I realized I had forgotten something kind of important that my parents had taught me. “Hey, Center Stage?” I asked quietly. Caught off guard, she turned to me with her eyebrows raised. I guess she wasn’t expecting to hear anything else from my direction. “Thanks.” She smiled. “Oh, um, you’re welcome. I hope you feel better.” “Yeah, me too,” I responded as I laid back and closed my eyes. Mom started the music softly. It was slow— not too high-pitched, but not too low. A few strokes of the bow against the strings, with not too drastic an octave shift. The second violin came in to harmonize with the first. Slightly higher pitch, but not too much higher. In fact, that second violin seemed to be just the right frequency… The night sky looked beautiful— completely clear of clouds. My telescope could pick up the tiniest details of the moon. I had been looking at it for what seemed like hours. At first, soft music played in the background, but it gave way to silence after a while. It had been a welcome addition to my stargazing, or moongazing in this case, but I wasn’t too bothered when it stopped. It allowed me to clear my mind and focus on the sky. The silence didn’t last. What’s the big idea, huh? What do you mean? The voices sounded like they came from over the hill I stood on, but I could just barely make out what they were saying. I tried to ignore them and keep my attention on the sky. You introducing him to somepony else to get rid of me or somethin’? What do you mean, ‘get rid of you’? Why in Equestria would I want to do that? You are one of Crimson’s best friends! At the mention of my name, they became hard to ignore. Yeah, and you’ve been trying to turn me away! You keep telling me I shouldn’t be with him! I never said that! I said I wanted you to be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt. How am I gonna get hurt? He’s the one in the hospital, and he needs me here! I understand that, sweetie. Please don’t think I don’t appreciate you coming here every day. I absolutely do. Well ya have a funny way of showin’ it… I had a feeling I knew who was talking, I just couldn’t see them. I loved looking at the sky, but the voices from nowhere had my full attention now. I’m sorry, dear. Like I said, I want you to be careful. If anything… happens to Crimson— NOTHING’S gonna happen! Not if I’m here! Sweetie, I love your optimism. What you need to understand is that after years of fighting these medical problems, I’ve learned that anything can happen, at any time. We’ve been incredibly lucky; Crimson has overcome every obstacle in his way. I thank Celestia every day for that. However, this cancer is different; it’s new to us, and I don’t know what to expect. I’m terrified that something could happen, but I’m hoping for the best. I’m hoping for the best, too! So what’s the problem? How am I gonna get hurt? Well dear, you have gotten rather attached to Crimson. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if for some reason something DOES happen to him, and he… well, he leaves us, how are you going to feel? … Silence… Geez, I never thought about that… > Chapter 19: Progress > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Five months… I can’t believe it… I’ve been here for five months. Is it weird if I say that it’s been eventful, but really boring at the same time? I’ve had a bunch of different chemo treatments— at least four, I think. The doctors kept bringing me in for scans after every few treatments to see how I was doing. As far as I’ve been told, I’m ‘moving in the right direction.’ I’m guessing that’s a good thing, but I can’t tell if they’re just saying that to make me feel better. Whenever the docs talk to my parents in the hall, they always get this serious expression. It makes me wonder… Everypony in my class has come to see me at least once now, including Miss Turner. Even Boulder came once with Brick; now that was an awkward visit. Boulder didn’t stay long, but Brick made up for that. Gramma came back from Baltimare for a few days for Hearth’s Warming. After ten more Scrabble games, we’re still tied. The holiday was… decent, I guess. I got some fun toys and games, but it’s not a lot of fun without a tree, and they wouldn’t let me put a small one in my room. I finally finished The History of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. It took a while, but it was totally worth the read. Starry may already have his cutie mark, but that doesn’t mean Tess and I can’t drag him along on some fun crusades when I get outta here. I don’t think he would mind. Amy and Rose came back as well. They had checkups with their doctors and stopped by before they left. I was glad to hear that their tests all came back with good results. The docs took me off the ‘mud puddle’ chemo about a month ago. Apparently, I had a different kind of reaction than Blackhawk did when he was on it. That’s why he was allowed to go into the PonyLife room and I wasn’t. I guess that was all good for him, but it bothered the hay out of me. After a fair amount of time on the ‘mud puddle’ chemo, my tests came back with better results, so they changed my treatments again. The one they put me on after that, the one I’m on now, isn’t too intense, so they eventually let me go back to the PonyLife room. After two months of lockdown, I finally made contact with Blackhawk and White Stripe. I was glad to see they were still here. I last saw them about a week ago. Stripes galloped into the room at top speed; when I first saw him, he was practically bouncing. Once he calmed down, he told us that the doctors found a marrow donor for him. That was a great start to the day. Hopefully he’ll get what he needs and be out of here soon. It’ll stink not having him around, but I’d rather he not be sick. He said his transplant was supposed to start yesterday, and he’d spend about a week in the ICU to recover; he wouldn’t be allowed out until then. Blackhawk, on the other hoof, still didn’t feel great. He looked the same way he did a couple of months ago: fine one second and a mud puddle the next. They hadn’t changed his treatments. He said he wasn’t feeling any better since then, which sucked. Then again, he didn’t seem to be any worse, either. Brick thought the same thing, but I don’t know if he’s a reliable source of info. I still think he doesn’t know everything, but that’s not his fault. And I still don’t think it’d be right for me to say anything about it. I didn’t see Center Stage again, though. I’m pretty sure I know why, but any time I think about it, my mind drifts back to that vivid dream I had the day she played for me. I haven’t told anypony about that dream— especially not Mom or Tess. There’s only one pony I would talk to about that, but I haven’t seen her lately. She may have been there, for all I know, but that wouldn’t be the first thing I’d talk about if I do see her; I just want to say hi. She’s probably busy. “I… I’ve never seen her do that before!” Tess had burst through the door to my room in tears and jumped into my hooves. She was practically vibrating. “I mean, sh-she always told me not to be too close when she practiced, but I d-didn’t think something like that would happen!” “Dark Alicorn magic? Woah…" I can’t blame Tess for freaking out over seeing her ma’s horn go black, especially since her mother isn’t an alicorn. I woulda freaked too if that happened to my mom. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure she didn’t mean to scare you. You shouldn’t’ve run like that, though. Your mom’s probably looking for you.” Tess just stayed quiet for a minute before she looked up at me with tears still running down her cheeks. “H-How do you do it?” “Huh? Do what?” “H-How are you so… strong? You’ve been cooped up in here for five months, feeling like crud. You’ve got so many reasons to be scared. But you look fine, and you’re the one sitting here making me feel better! How do you do it?” She caught me off guard with that one. “I, well…” I may not have been prepared for the question, but it didn’t take me long to get my answer. I smiled at her and said, “I have really great friends.” Gradually, a smile of her own crept onto Tesla’s face. It didn’t last as long as I would have liked. “All this time… I thought you needed me here to help you feel better, but it’s actually me that—” “Crimson, is everything okay in here? I thought I heard crying.” Mom poked her head through the door. I guess she hadn’t seen Tess come in, but she certainly saw the glare from Tess. “Yeah. Tess’s mom gave her a bit of a scare,” I said. “Oh my. Did Painted Pen finally—” “Sounds like it. Could you go find her and tell her Tess is here, Mom?” “Sure, sweetie. I’ll be right back. High Flyer is out here if you need him.” “Thanks.” After Mom closed the door, Tess made what sounded like a growl. I finally decided to ask her, “Hey, what’s going on with you and my mom? You haven’t exactly been on good terms with each other lately. Actually, it’s been a while now.” Tess frowned, and I could have sworn she was about to cry again. “I… I don’t wanna talk about it right now, okay?” “Well, alright, but you’re gonna hafta tell me eventually.” I had a feeling it had to do with what I heard in that dream; I wanted her to open up and tell me herself, but decided to let it go for now. Since the content of that conversation seemed to involve my… well, biting it, that was definitely not something to bring up at the moment. Tess was already pretty upset, and I figured I shouldn’t make it worse. I turned my head to the door when it opened after a small knock; High Flyer poked his head in. “Hey, Crimson. I’m sorry to interrupt, but could you come with me for a moment?” “What’s up?” I asked. “Do they wanna do another test or something?” “No, not this time. I’d like you to come talk to somepony. Would your friend mind staying here for a few minutes?” I looked at Tess, then back to High Flyer. “Do I have to?” He nodded. “You really should.” I put a hoof over Tess’s shoulder and asked her, “Is it okay if I go for a minute? I shouldn’t be long.” She sighed and said, “Yeah… it’s alright. I’ll be right here when you get back.” She curled herself up on my bed, still trembling slightly, as I walked out the door. I followed High Flyer down the hallway, dragging my IV pole behind me. “So, who am I talking to?” I’d never been in this room before, but I definitely knew its occupant. “Dude, what’s going on? I just saw you like, a week ago!” “…I know. I just, started feeling like crud last night. I guess the stuff they started giving me didn’t help any.” Blackhawk looked miserable. He could barely open his eyes, and I could hardly make out what he was saying. I’d never seen him in such bad shape. “What are you talking about?” “Well… you remember that last resort I told you about a while ago?” he asked. “Yeah, why?” I hoped I wouldn’t hear what I thought I was about to hear. “They started me on it two days ago. I don’t think my body likes it.” Shoot. High Flyer put a hoof on my shoulder. “Crimson, Blackhawk and I had a chat for a few minutes before I brought you here. He wanted to make sure he got a chance to talk to you, because…” High Flyer shook his head and looked at my friend in the bed. “Blackhawk… do you want to tell him? Or should I?” I heard Blackhawk mumble, “…Could you?” “Sure, buddy.” High Flyer looked at the ground and closed his eyes. I couldn’t see anything else on his face, but he let out a deep sigh. “Crimson… this might be the last time you two get to—” “NO!” I refused to believe it. “No. Blackhawk, hang in there. You’re gonna be okay.” Blackhawk managed a small smile. “Thanks, Crimson. I’m gonna try. But, say something does happen, could you do me a favor?” “Sure, dude. Anything.” “Keep an eye on Brick, would you?” “Of course.” “Oh, and when he gets out of the ICU, tell Stripes I said… well… tell him I said ‘bye.’” I could feel the drop running down my cheek. “…Okay. But I’m not gonna have to, right? It’ll be ‘see ya soon,’ not ‘bye.’” I got permission from High Flyer to give Blackhawk a hug. “I’m gonna try.” As I slowly walked back to my room with High Flyer, I remembered something, so I just started speaking out of reflex. “Om Shri Dhanvantre Namaha… Om Shri Dhanvantre Namaha… Om Shri—” “Hey Crimson, what are you saying?” he asked me. “It… it’s called, um, a mantra. It’s a prayer for healing. My mom told it to me.” I was trying really hard to choke back my tears. “It’ll work for Blackhawk— it has to. For Stripes, too.” I looked up at High Flyer, hoping to find some sign of agreement. What I got instead was a frown. “Crimson, there’s something I need to tell you.” “…What?” > Chapter 20: Reflection > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Crimson? Sweetie?” “…What?” “Do you want to talk?” “No.” Dammit, Mom’s persistent. “Are you sure?” “Leave me alone.” Why didn’t she do that the first time I asked? “Sweetie, I know you—” “Honey, please let him be,” Dad said. “He has every right to want some privacy.” Thank you, Dad. “Come, let’s go outside, hon.” “But I—” I saw Dad give Mom a stern look. “Alright.” As she trotted to the door, Mom said, “We’ll be right outside, sweetie.” “Fine.” Tess came by after school as usual, although a little later than normal; she brought Starry with her. I could hear them talking with my parents outside my door. When they finally came in, Mom and Dad stayed in the hall. Starry had a couple of paint stains on his coat. He looked kinda funny… but it still didn’t make me feel any better. “Hey, dude. You okay?” Starry asked, but he clearly already knew the answer. “Crimson, I’m so sorry.” Tesla put a hoof on mine. I tried to keep a straight face, but it wasn’t easy. Luckily for me, Starry said exactly what I needed to hear. “Dude, you don’t need to hold it in for our sakes. Go ahead and let it out if you want.” I’m not usually one to pour my heart out to anypony; I tend to keep my feelings inside. My parents say it isn’t healthy, but I just don’t like ‘talking’ to anypony. This time, though, I finally just hit the wall. I put my head in my hooves and let the tears flow. “I just don’t get it, ya know?” I sniffed. “It was too soon.” Starry tried to get a word in. “Yeah, dude… I can’t—” “It was TOO SOON! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEM FOR HALF A YEAR! YOU MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND THEN THEY’RE RIPPED AWAY FROM YOU BEFORE YOU GET A CHANCE TO REALLY KNOW THEM!” I’d lost any sense of restraint. I felt like I was standing on a cliff and had fallen over the guard rail. When I hit bottom, something broke inside, and I couldn’t stop yelling. I’ve never, ever yelled like that. I figured they could hear me all the way down the hall, but I didn’t care. “BLACKHAWK WASN’T ENOUGH! STRIPES HAD TO GO, TOO! AND HE WAS GETTING BETTER! WHY’D THE STUPID TRANSPLANT HAFTA FAIL?! IT’S NOT FAIR!” I dove into my pillow, letting it get thoroughly soaked. So much for strength… After a minute or two, I lifted my head out of my pillow and looked around the room. My parents had come in; they stood beside Starry and Tesla. Dad asked, “Feel a little better, buddy?” I nodded, allowing more tears to fall. “See? Letting out steam is a good thing— it doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. Thank you for that bit of wisdom, Starry.” I couldn’t help but let a small smile creep onto my face when Starry gave Dad a salute. Yeah, he’s definitely the son of a soldier. I saw Mom take Tesla aside. I think she tried to stay out of earshot, but it didn’t work. “You see, sweetie? This is why I wanted you to be careful. Can you see how Crimson feels about losing friends that he’s only known for a short time? Imagine how you would feel if—” “Why would you bring that up now?” If Tesla was making any attempt at trying to stay out of earshot, she failed miserably. “Of course I can see how he’s feeling! That’s even more of a reason for me to be here! If I’d lost a friend, I’d wanna be with the ones I still have!” Mom didn’t seem to have an answer to that— score one for Tess. “You keep talking about how I’ll feel if something happens. What about how Crimson feels right now? If I can do something to help him feel better, even if it’s just being here, you better believe I’m gonna do it!” “Yes, sweetie, I understand that, and I thank you. It isn’t that I don’t want you here, I just—” “You know, you’re not helping! Why don’t you leave us alone?” After all the ones she’d gotten from Tesla, Mom finally gave her a glare back. “Excuse me, but I am Crimson’s mother. I have every right to—” “Mom, just go.” I’d had enough. I just couldn’t listen to them arguing anymore; I needed quiet. “No offense, but… just go.” “Well, I think that’s as good a cue as any. Come on, hon. Let’s let Crimson spend some time with his friends. We’ll have plenty of time with him later.” Dad got the hint. After a pause, Mom said, “…Alright. We’ll be outside.” I heard Mom sigh as Dad shut the door behind them. She mumbled something that I couldn’t hear, but I didn’t really care at the moment. Tess leaned on my bed and glared at the door. I knew this issue would keep popping up if I didn’t do something, and I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I was going to have to spark the fire. “Tess, what are you so mad at her about?” “I… do we have to? I’m here for you right now.” I had a feeling she wasn’t going to just tell me. I had to make the first move again. “I told you before, you’re going to have to tell me eventually. May as well be now.” I felt her body tense against my mattress. “Right now? After what’s just happened?” I sniffed and let out a sigh. “Look, Tess, obviously I’m upset right now, but venting really helped. I’ve kept that bottled up for a while. What isn’t helping is this argument you’ve been having with my mom. I hate to say it, but she’s right.” She leaned in toward me and stammered, “Wh-What do you mean?” I finally had a chance to get the conversation started. “Look, I know why you’re upset with my mom. I love your optimism, Tess, but you gotta understand something…” She flinched when I said that. “I dunno what’s gonna happen. I mean, look at Blackhawk and Stripes. I never got to introduce you guys, so you wouldn’t really know, but I could have sworn they were going to be alright. Now look what happened.” I couldn’t hold back some sniffles. “They’re… they’re not here anymore.” I sighed and looked Tesla in the eyes. “I love that you’ve been here with me every day, Tess. I really do.” Starry looked away, so I added, “Don’t worry about it, Starry. I know you’ve got stuff going on. If you could be here, I’m sure you would be.” He nodded and turned back to me. I rubbed my eyes and continued, “It’s just, I didn’t think about how you’d feel if I, well… left. That would suck… for both— all of us.” I saw a tear form in Tess’s eye. “But it won’t happen! You’re gonna be okay!” I smiled. “I’m gonna try my darndest, but say something does happen…” I had a really uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu as I said that. “…I don’t want you to—” “I don’t care!” Tess jumped on the bed and gave me a hug. Starry and I exchanged glances as I hugged her back. She buried her head in my shoulder and said, “I don’t care what your mom says. I’m gonna be here whether she likes it or not.” I sighed. “See, Tess, that’s what you’re not getting. My mom doesn’t have any problem with you being here. You may not think so, but she likes it when you’re here.” She frowned and looked out to the hall. “It sure doesn’t feel like it.” “Well, it’s true. You know how I know?” Tess sat back on her haunches and crossed her hooves. “How?” I smiled and said, “Because with all this junk going on right now, the only thing my mom wants right now is for me to be happy. And when you’re here…” I gave her a light bop on her muzzle and finished, “…I’m happy.” Her eyebrows tilted as she smiled back at me. “She wants you here as much as I do, but she’s worried about you. That’s a good thing for me, too, ‘cause otherwise all her worry would be over here,” I put a hoof to my chest, “and that’s one heck of a stressor on me.” She let out a quiet chuckle. “So, could you give her a break?” Tess put her head down, but her eyes were fixated on mine. “Okay, for you.” I softened my eyes and caressed her cheek. Her face flushed, and before she hopped off my bed, she gave me a light peck on my cheek. I let out a smile, and Starry covered his muzzle, hiding what was clearly a giggle. When she landed on the floor, Tess saw him and pushed him with a hoof. As a new thought wandered through my mind, my smile faded, and I gave a heavy sigh. Starry asked, “You okay?” It was a legitimate question this time around. “Yeah, kinda.” I had already done one round of venting. I figured another one couldn’t hurt. “Can I tell you guys something?” “Of course, dude,” Starry replied. Tess just nodded slowly. I guess the mood shift had left her speechless. She probably expected a different reaction from me. I decided to just pour it out. Exactly what and how much I was going to pour, I didn’t quite know yet. “I’m not really sure what to feel right now. I mean, obviously I’m upset about Blackhawk and Stripes, but I mean, should I be surprised? They had it pretty rough. It’s just, I was always worried about them, but I didn’t know how worried I really should have been from the start. I guess part of me wanted to be optimistic…” I looked at Tess as I said that. “…but another part of me was just constantly worried. I think part of me knew… but I just tried to shut it out. I hoped for the best… but it just didn’t work out.” I wiped my eyes on part of my sheet. “I… I just don’t know if that’s how I feel about myself, too.” Starry’s expression turned grim as I spoke, and Tess leaned on my mattress again. “I mean, how long has it been since my transplant? Four years? All the junk I’ve had to deal with— I’m sure there’s been risks. I probably could have bit it any time. I guess it wasn’t until I got stuck with this crummy cancer that I really started to think about that. I could… I could just be gone. Like, at any time.” I put my head in my hooves. “Like Blackhawk and Stripes… and that’d be it.” I looked at Tess and Starry; both of them had a single tear in one eye. I sighed. “I mean, I wouldn’t be happy about it, but… “…But maybe it’d be okay…” > Chapter 21: Justice > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ponyfeathers. I really could’ve used a visit from Princess Luna last night. Then again, it probably would’ve helped if I had actually gotten any sleep— too much thinking. My brain just kept going back and forth between thoughts like a pendulum. After Tess and Starry left, my parents came back in singing all sorts of praises about how mature I am. Figures they’d be listening at the door… I thought about repeating that mantra again. I thought it might help me go to sleep, but I decided against it. Fat load of good it had done so far. As I watched my parents sleeping beside each other in the corner, I started thinking again. Thinking about Blackhawk, Stripes, and the fact that… Maybe I was next… In the morning, Mom left for the arts center. She had a full day of lessons. After a few rounds of cards, I finally asked Dad to go to the parents’ lounge so I could try to make up for not getting any sleep. About a half-hour after Dad left, around midday, I got an unexpected visitor. I guess he had been excused… It was a school day, after all. I heard a set of galloping hooves coming from down the hall before my door slammed open. I recognized the colt, but he definitely didn’t give me the warm greeting that I had grown accustomed to getting from him, no matter how surprising it still felt. “YOU SAID YOU WOULD LOOK AFTER HIM! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?! I ASKED YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM!” After locking eyes with him once, I hung my head and said, “I’m sorry, Brick. I didn’t think this would happen. I thought he was—” “Don’t give me ‘sorry’! You’re not sorry!” I stared at him. “What do you mean I’m not sorry? Of course I’m sorry! Blackhawk was my friend! You think I wanted him to go? I wanted him to stay here as much as you did!” “Then why didn’t he?! You should’ve kept a better eye on him! How come you got to stay if he didn’t?!” I could see tears flowing down his cheeks. “What makes you so special, huh?!” Tears welled up in my own eyes as I yelled, “I DON’T KNOW, OKAY?! I got lucky! I don’t get to make the decisions around here! You think I’m happy about this? I lost two friends who I could actually relate to about all this junk! Blackhawk wasn’t the only one!” Brick’s volume lessened as he said, “Yeah, sure, you lost your friends. I lost my brother. How’d you like it if you lost a family member, huh? What if—” “Brick, that’s enough!” A large, chocolate-colored pegasus stallion, with what looked like a cracked block of concrete for a cutie mark, opened my door and put a hoof over Brick’s muzzle. “You should know better than this! I cannot believe you’re actually accusing this colt of having anything to do with Blackhawk’s passing! If anything, you should be thanking him for being a good friend to your cousin!” The stallion turned to me and said, “I am so sorry, Crimson.” As I sat there, frozen, he nodded and said, “Yes, I know of you. Blackhawk spoke very highly of you. I’m sorry we did not meet sooner, or under better circumstances. I am Brick’s father, Aftershock. We were collecting Blackhawk’s things when he asked to come see you…” He looked down at Brick and continued, “…but it seems somepony needs to learn a lesson about gratitude first.” Aftershock looked back to me and tilted his head at Brick as he said, “I will get you an apology out of this one if it is the last thing I do. Please, Crimson, get well soon. Hopefully I will see you again, and in a more cheerful setting.” He let go of Brick’s muzzle and escorted him to the door. I could see Brick’s head hanging low, and a tear dropping from his muzzle to the floor. After the door closed behind them, a tear of my own dropped to my sheets. It may not have been my fault, but I still felt obligated to say, “Brick… I’m sorry.” How come you got to stay if he didn’t? Those words just kept running through my brain… and I didn’t have an answer. I’m not sure if I wanted to find one. Either way, Blackhawk was gone. There was no justice in it. If I was still here, he should have been also. Stripes too. They may have been said out of anger, but I had to admit, Brick’s words rang true. What made me so special? How come somepony else wasn’t getting all this luck? I mean, I can’t say I’m exactly lucky with all the junk I’ve dealt with, but the fact that I’m still here is luck enough for me. I’m sure there are, or have been, other kids that have dealt with the same stuff I have. How many of them have gotten the same luck? Am I the only one? Why am I so special? I didn’t tell my parents about Brick’s visit; I didn’t think it would do any good. I couldn’t blame him for his anger, and I figured Aftershock would take care of whatever lesson Brick needed to learn. When Tess came after school, I didn’t tell her about Brick coming to my room, either. She told me he’d been excused for the day, and asked if he had come by. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I didn’t want to tell her what he’d said to me, either. She was upset already; if she found out what Brick had said, Tess probably would have done something at school, and that was the last thing anypony needed. The two of them had finally started getting along to some degree, and I hoped that it could stay that way. If they do have any interaction at school, I hope it’ll be civil. Brick may not want to see me right now, but the next time I see him, I hope he’ll be willing to be my friend again. I hope… Despite those hopes, thinking about Brick’s words wasn’t easy. I looked at the painting on the opposite wall. Couldn’t Princess Luna have done something? Couldn’t she have prevented this? As I tried falling asleep that night, I turned away from my parents, who sat by the window. I didn’t want them to see my pillow getting wet again. It may not have been my preferred method, but I did manage to drift off. > Chapter 22: Encouragement > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I’ll give you two wheat for it.” “B, I’ve got three cities on fields. I’m not giving you any lumber when I can get wheat easily with like, six different roll combinations. Besides, I’m taking longest road from you if it’s the last thing I do, and I need that lumber. Give it up; you’re not getting that settlement.” The bare-headed colt sighed and stuck his tongue out at me with a smile. “Fine. Give me a dev card, Stripes.” Blackhawk hoofed in his three cards and took another one from Stripes. “I’m done. Go ahead and take my road, Crimson. As long as you don’t roll a seven.” A wicked grin passed over his lips as he shifted his IV. “If you jinx me again, I’m gonna lose it!” I narrowed my eyes and pointed an accusatory hoof at him. “Haha you gotta admit, Crimson, he’s been getting you every time!” Stripes laughed. As I picked the dice up in my hooves, I felt a hoof on my shoulder. When I looked up, I saw a tall, dark figure with a smile on her face. “What a lovely way to spend time with your friends. The last board game I played did not end so well. In fact, I don’t recall it ending at all…” “Princess Luna! It’s been so long! How’ve you been? It’s great to see you!” I stood up and turned to Blackhawk and Stripes as I said, “Hold on, guys. I’ll take my turn in a sec!” Stripes groaned. “Well hurry up! You’ve gotta take longest road from this guy! Geez, you and your bathroom breaks…” “Bathroom? What are you talking about?” I looked at Princess Luna, then back to the guys. “How are you not totally excited right now?” Blackhawk leaned his head on a hoof. “Excited about what? That you’re gonna botch me up? Come on, dude; if you’re gonna take away my points, you may as well do it sooner rather than later. Hit the bathroom and come back.” I got up and trotted to Princess Luna, who had backed away from the table. It confused me when I saw the tilted eyebrows and soft frown. “Princess, what’s going on here? Can’t they—” When I turned to look at Blackhawk and Stripes again, they weren’t there. They were just… gone. “Hey, where did they—” “Do not worry yourself, Crimson. Your focus has shifted.” “Huh?” The Princess sighed. “I came to offer you my condolences, Crimson.” “Condolences? For wha—” As I looked back at the table that now had no occupants, that was when I remembered. I closed my eyes and hung my head. “Oh… yeah.” I sniffed and let a tear fall to the floor. Or at least, I thought it was a floor. Everything seemed to just be white now. Everything except me, the Princess, and that table. “Wait, does that mean I’m—” “Dreaming. Yes, you are.” I looked at her, and my lower lip quivered. She smiled and said, “Don’t worry, you will be able to resume your game shortly. I will bring them back.” I gasped. “YOU CAN BRING THEM BACK? Oh, Brick will be so happy! I—” She cut me off. “Here, Crimson. I will bring them back here.” I looked up at her again. Her smile was gone, replaced by that frown. “Do you remember what I am, and am not capable of?” Her voice and face remained soft. I hung my head once again. “Oh… yeah. Sorry.” The question that drove me to sleep returned, but it had already been answered. I looked up at her as I slowly lifted my eyes from the floor. Her expression showed no tension, no sign of anger or disappointment. In fact, it was the opposite; I noticed a small smile creep onto Princess Luna’s face. “It’s alright, young one. I understand your excitement at those words. I am glad to see you still have selfless intentions. Consistently thinking about other ponies’ feelings before your own— you will be quite the stallion someday, provided you fight the good fight and do not give up hope. I can see you have been doing those two things quite well.” I thought about that for a moment before my mind drifted back to the conversation I had with Starry and Tesla. Sure, I guess you could say I’m selfless. I might be fighting a good fight, but hope? I may have let that slip away… “I… I don’t know about that, Princess.” She raised a brow. “Oh? Why do you doubt yourself?” “Well… I had hoped that my friends would get better.” She dropped her brow and closed her eyes as she nodded. “Yes, I understand. Unsatisfied hope is an upsetting thing indeed. However, your hope for your own—” “I’m not as confident in it anymore…” I shook my head as I thought about my conversation with Starry and Tesla. That image was stuck in my mind. “You should have seen her face.” The Princess furrowed her brows. “Whose?” I looked away from her as I responded, “Tesla. I don’t think I’ll ever get that picture out of my head.” When I looked back at her, the Princess’s expression still hadn’t changed. I didn’t really want to talk about it, but I thought if anypony would be willing to listen without judgement, it would be Princess Luna. Then I remembered what the Princess said about me being selfless, and I began doubting that, too. “I had so much hope that Blackhawk and Stripes would be okay. They seemed to be doing alright, but then… everything went wrong. I was talking to Tesla and Starry, and I had a minute where my hope was just… gone. I thought it would be okay if I left, too. I said it out loud, right in front of my friends— my friends that care for me. I didn’t even think about how they’d feel if I said something like that.” I let out a deep sigh. “I found out pretty quick— Tess lost it. I’ve never seen her cry so much before. I didn’t know what to say after that. Princess, how selfless can I be if I’d be willing to leave my friends behind?” The Princess shook her head. “Oh, Crimson. You are entitled to say such things in times of sadness. Ponies often say things they don’t mean, especially when they are upset. As long as you know, in your heart, that you do not truly feel what you said, you need not worry.” I took in those words and nodded. “So, Crimson, do you have any hope at all that you will survive this ordeal?” “Of course! I can’t let my friends down! Starry and Tess care about me too much for me to give up. Blackhawk and Stripes… they didn’t make it, but it doesn’t mean I’m not gonna fight! I have to fight for them, too!” Princess Luna smiled and put a hoof on my head. “That’s what I like to hear.” Her hoof felt surprisingly soft, like it was wrapped in a pillow. I felt my head and realized my mane had grown back. I looked up at Princess Luna and asked, “How did—” “That would be my doing, young one,” Princess Luna said with a chuckle. “I thought it might be nice for the time being. T’will be glorious when it grows back for real.” I couldn’t help but laugh myself. “Woah! Cool! What else can you—” “Well it’s about time you got back! What happened? Did you fall in?” I whipped around toward the table and found two colts sitting there— a slim Earth pony with a dark mohawk, and a bulkier Earth pony with a jet-black mane and a single white stripe running through it. Both of them waved to me. Neither had any attachments— no IVs, no poles, nothing. “Heh heh, sorry. Be there in a sec!” I looked at the Princess and smiled as I hugged her leg. “Thank you.” The Princess smiled back. “You are very welcome. Enjoy your lucidity for now, and rest easy, Crimson.” I raised a brow at her. “Umm… what’s ‘lucidity’?” Princess Luna chuckled, “It’s a fancy word that means you know you’re dreaming. You may not be able to do anything with it right now, but perhaps one of these days you’ll learn the tricks. For now, go on and play with your friends.” I smiled at her again and nodded, then rushed back to the table and picked up the dice. No seven, no seven, no seven, no seven… > Chapter 23: A Familiar Face > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Nine points! Come on, just one more settlement and it’ll be my third win!” Between six games, three wins was pretty good for me. “Not if I can help it,” Blackhawk said. “Watch out for the robber!” “B, that stopped working a while ago. Just stop,” Stripes laughed. “Unless a miracle happens, he’s gonna be champ.” “Champ?” Blackhawk asked. “Champ,” Stripes responded. The two of them turned to me and started speaking in unison. “Champ?” “Champ?” “Guys, what’s your deal? You’re buggin’ me out a little,” I said. Suddenly, the table started floating away from me. “Hey! Where are you guys—” “Champ? Hey, Champ!” I groaned and opened my eyes. “Well, it’s about time! Morning, Champ! You must have been having one heck of a dream.” Dad stood over me, his hoof moving away from my shoulder. I rubbed my eyes as I recalled my last dream. I sighed and said, “Yeah, I was…” Mom came up to the bed and kissed me on my forehead. “Morning, sweetie. Do you remember what’s happening today?” I yawned and rubbed the grit out of my eyes. “…Not really.” “They’re doing another round of chemo today.” I sighed. “Oh, fun. Did they ask you to wake me up right before they started it again?” “Well, no, but you do need to get up. The heart doctors came in earlier; they want to do an x-ray to see if everything’s alright on their end. They need you to go downstairs first before your chemo starts.” “Oh… alright.” X-rays aren’t so bad. The most annoying part is the waiting. They take forever to get everything in order. I still don’t know why. “Well, looks like you’re going to have to do a little more walking around,” Dad said. “Probably good for you not to stay in bed all the time.” He gave me a small poke in the ribs. I laughed and poked him back. “They’re going to set your IV up on the pole again, and High Flyer is going to escort you down to Radiology. You want us to come with you?” I stretched my legs and yawned again. “Nah, s’okay. I think I can manage with High Flyer.” “Sounds good to me.” Dad nodded to Mom, who returned the gesture. As if on cue, High Flyer opened the door and came into the room. He tilted his head with a flourish and slowly lifted his hoof into the air as he said, “Ah, I see our patient has arisen.” Mom and Dad chuckled, and he quickly dropped the drama act before asking, “Did he have anything to eat?” Mom sighed. “No, he just woke up. The nutritionists brought his breakfast about two hours ago, so it’s probably cold by now. Sweetie, do you want some…” She lifted a lid from a tray on the table and turned to me. “…asparagus?” I stuck my tongue out. “Eww, no way. I’ll wait until lunch. Asparagus is horrible when it’s cold.” Dad laughed. “Haha, my thoughts exactly.” High Flyer chuckled. “Alright, but you need to eat something before you start your chemo later, alright? You’re not going to feel very good if you don’t.” I waved a hoof at him. “I know, I know. Let’s just go downstairs.” High Flyer hooked my IV up to the pole and helped me out of bed. My legs wobbled as I hit the floor. “Need a hoof, Crimson?” High Flyer asked. “Nah, I’m okay.” I held up a hoof as I steadied myself. “Just gotta wake up.” “Alright. We’ll walk slowly, okay?” “Okay.” I turned and waved to Mom and Dad. “See you guys in a bit.” As I walked out the door with High Flyer, he pushed my pole along beside me with a wing. As we walked down the hallway toward the elevator, we passed an empty room. I saw the nametag still on the door, along with a picture of the Power Ponies. Other nurses were making the bed and putting on clean sheets. I tried to keep moving, but I stopped short and let out a deep sigh. When High Flyer realized I had stopped, he turned around and found me with my head low. “Crimson, are you alright?” When my legs started wobbling again, he held me up by one of my hooves as I steadied myself again. I looked over at the door for a few seconds and sniffled before I said, “Yeah, I guess.” High Flyer followed my gaze, then gave a sigh of his own and nodded. “I gotcha. I’m sorry, Crimson. It’s always upsetting when it happens, but it does happen. There’s only so much that we can do.” “…I know.” “One, two, three, four! Four fruit bats! Ah ah ahhh!” “You say fruit? Me LOVE fruit! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!” I glared at the screen across the room. Those little kid shows are always on the TVs in the x-ray waiting area. They never show anything else. I wish they’d put on some Doctor Whooves or something. I’d been waiting for over half an hour; like I said, the waiting is the worst part. I just sat there, glaring at the annoying vampony and… creature on the TV. That was, until a small, dark blue pegasus stumbled over my hoof. I started, “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t see y— Hey, is that you, Inkwell?” The little colt looked at me for a split second before he smiled and exclaimed, “Crimmy!” He threw his hooves up to give me a hug, which I happily returned. I looked at High Flyer, who gave his approval with a smile and nod. “You know this colt?” I smiled back at High Flyer and said, “Yep.” I turned to the pegasus and ruffled his mane. “Little guy was my roommate a few years ago.” “Well, that’s one way to find you!” I turned to my right and saw a violet pegasus mare following Inkwell. “Hey, Joy.” I nodded at the mare. “You guys here for a clinic?” “Yes, we are. This is our last stop, but we were going to come and drop in on you when we were done. Your mom’s been in touch with me. Are you doing alright?” I sighed. “Yeah, I guess. I have chemo when I’m done here, so I may not be the best company.” “Alright. We won’t stay that long if you don’t—” “Crimmy, you look funny wid no hair,” the colt chimed in. “Inkwell! That’s not nice!” Joy glared at her son. I laughed. “Haha, it’s okay. I agree. Besides, it’ll grow back… eventually.” “Crimson Star!” Finally. “That’s me. I guess I’ll see you guys in a bit. I’m in room 522— fifth floor.” “Alright. See you later, Crimson!” “Bye, Crimmy!” The little colt waved to me as I walked through the waiting room to the back hall. High Flyer smiled at me as we walked to the x-ray room. “What did you mean, he was your roommate, Crimson?” I responded, “When I had my transplant a few years ago, he needed one, too. We shared a room here on the Heart floor. He had just been born a few months earlier.” “Wow. How’s he doing?” “Pretty good, as far as I know. I’ll probably find out later when they come upstairs.” I shrugged. High Flyer nodded to a door where an attendant stood. “Okay, I’ll stay out here. They’ll tell you what to do.” “Right. Be out in a sec.” I followed the attendant inside as she rolled my pole around, then covered me with a heavy gown. “I’m moving this over here, out of the way of the machine. Stand here, and grab this board, please.” I nodded at her. “Got it.” > Chapter 24: Normal? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Seriously? You’d never know it if you looked at him,” Mom said. Inkwell sat on top of my bed with me, patting my bare head, happy as a clam. The doctors had started my chemo treatment, but none of the side effects had kicked in yet. “I know,” Joy responded. “I don’t get it, to be honest; he looks absolutely perfect right now. He hasn’t been feeling well for a while, though. Some of his levels have been off, and his last biopsy could have had better results. If the tests from today come back with similar numbers as last time, then we’ll need to put him back on the list.” “Maybe it’s our little star over there making the little guy feel all perky.” Dad smiled as he pointed a hoof at me. I couldn’t help but smile myself as I glared at him, but then I realized what Joy had just said. “Wait, you mean he needs another heart transplant?” Joy nodded at me. “It certainly looks that way.” I sighed. “Geez. You oughta talk to Rosebud.” At that point, my head started aching. I thought it could have been from Inkwell’s tapping at first, but then I realized it wasn’t that kind of headache. It didn’t throb, it just… hurt. I groaned and said, “Hey, it’s great to see you guys, but I think the chemo’s starting to kick in. Maybe you should go; I might want to sleep this off. Come on, little guy.” I lifted Inkwell off me and set him on the lower part of my bed. “Awwww…” Inkwell complained. “But Crimmy—” “Oh hush, Inky,” Joy scolded as she lifted the colt off my bed. She looked at my parents and shook her head with a smile. “It must be your son. I haven’t seen mine this happy in ages.” Joy turned to me and said, “Feel better, Crimson. Hopefully we’ll see you soon. Say goodbye, Inky!” The little colt slumped his shoulders as he slowly waved to me and said, “Bye, Crimmy. Feel bettuh.” “Thanks, buddy. See you soon.” I waved back to him as they walked out the door. “I honestly can’t believe you don’t want to be a teacher like Joy,” Mom said. “You’re great with foals.” I sighed. “I’m great with certain foals. Inkwell is one of those foals.” I could feel my head acting up again, and I groaned. “I’m gonna try to sleep, okay?” “Sure thing, buddy,” Dad responded. “We know she’s going to come, so if you’re still asleep when Tesla gets here, do you want us to wake you up?” I shot back with no hesitation, “Yeah. I don’t wanna sleep through Tesla Time again.” I chuckled along with my parents as I leaned back on my pillow. “Besides, the side effects should be gone by then.” “Good point,” Mom said. Dad took a long, deep breath before he said, “Have a good nap, buddy.” I pulled up the covers and answered, “Thanks, Pop.” “…and if you turn it a little more to the right, you’ll see Pisces, the fish.” I swiveled my telescope, making sure it didn’t hit the window glass. “It doesn’t really look like a fish. It looks like a check mark with a circle on top,” Tesla said. I laughed. “Most of the constellations don’t look like what they’re supposed to be. The one I showed you a second ago, Aries, does kinda look like a ram’s horn, but it’s my sign. I favor that one a bit. I didn’t make ‘em; I just look at ‘em.” “Hey, what’s my sign?” Tess asked. “Hmm… your birthday’s July… 11th, right?” “You remembered!” She smiled at me, and I smirked back. “Yeah, I remembered. I think that’s, uh—” I suddenly stumbled over my hoof and fell into the window. “Ah! Ow…” Luckily for me, I missed my telescope, and didn’t break the window. “Ohmygosh, are you okay?” Tesla cried. I rubbed my head. “Yeah, I’m fine. My hoof just gave out. It’s a side effect from the chemo; it’ll go away.” “Maybe you should get back in bed.” I sighed, “Fine.” Tess supported me as we walked back to my bed. “What was I—” “Don’t worry about it. Lemme get you in bed.” Mom and Dad were in the hall. As I climbed back on the mattress, after pushing my pole over to the side, Mom opened the door. “You two done stargazing?” When she saw me rub my head again, she asked, “Are you alright, Crimson?” “Yeah, I’m okay. Hoof gave out again— made me fall over and hit the window.” “What? Level, get in here.” “Mom, I’m fine.” I gave a harsh sigh. “This isn’t the first time it’s happened, remember?” Dad walked in behind her. “You okay, buddy?” I rubbed my head again. “Yeah, I’m fine. Please don’t make a big deal out of it.” My parents getting over-excited about minor things had become a frequent, and bothersome, occurrence. “I’ll sleep it off.” Tess leaned on my bed. “You gonna go to sleep? You want me to go?” “Yeah, I think so. It’s getting kinda late for you anyway, isn’t it?” Tess hung her head and said, “Probably. My mom’ll get worried…” Mom came up to her and asked, “Tesla, you talked to your mother about that dark magic, didn’t you?” Tess looked up at her and said, “Huh? Oh… yeah. She was upset about that. Not at me, just the whole thing.” Mom leaned down to look at her square in the eyes. “Are you two alright?” Tess turned away and said, “Yeah.” “Would you like me to talk to her?” “I… maybe. I’ll… I’ll let you know.” As she walked through the door, Tesla called, “See you tomorrow, Crimson.” “See you tomorrow, Tess,” I called back to her. After she was sure Tess was down the hall, Mom asked me, “Is she still upset with me, Crimson?” I shrugged. “I can’t really tell. She might be. You’ve been smart not to bring that stuff up again, though.” Dad sighed. “Girls are a strange phenomenon, Crimson. It’s hard to tell exactly what they’re thinking. Especially after you marry them,” he laughed. Mom smiled and glared at him. “Oh yeah? Care to take a guess what I’m thinking now?” Dad scratched his chin. “Probably something along the lines of hitting me.” I laughed along with Mom as she said, “Well, we’re not as complicated as you think, then.” Dad ducked behind my bed. “…Uh oh. Crimson, hide me.” Mom and I laughed again. “There aren’t many places to hide in a hospital room, mister,” Mom chuckled. She stepped toward Dad as she looked at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “You’re just going to have to take it.” I’d heard them talking like this before… “Uh, guys? Can you not do that kind of stuff in front of me, please?” I crossed my forearms and alternated staring at the two of them. “I’d rather you waited until I fell asleep.” The two of them furrowed their brows at each other for a split second before their eyes went wide and they burst out laughing. Between laughs, they spoke in unison. “Sorry!” “Sorry!” As they stopped laughing, Dad started coughing. When it stopped, he said, “Woah, sorry. Must’ve been a tickle in my throat. I— hey!” “You read my mind, so I had to do it.” Mom smiled as she retracted her hoof from his shoulder. “You did have it coming, Dad.” I smirked at him, and he returned the look. “Good point. Well, now you’ve seen firsthoof why you don’t insult mares right in front of their faces.” I nodded as he whispered in my ear, “You have to wait and do it behind their backs.” He winked at me as Mom hit him again. “I had that one coming, too, didn’t I?” “Yeah, Dad. Might wanna stop.” I laughed in the middle of a yawn. “You’re probably right. You want to hit the hay?” I sighed. “Yeah, I think so.” I snuggled under my sheets. “See you guys in the morning.” “Alright, buddy. We’ll let you sleep in if we can.” “Thanks, Dad.” As they walked out the door, I could hear them talking. “It’s good to see we can still have a little fun with him, despite the restrictions,” Mom said. “At least he can feel a little normal when other friends come to visit, but I’m going to have to oversee some of the things you’re teaching him.” Dad laughed. “Hey, can’t I have a few guy-to-guy jokes with him?” I heard a snort. “Jokes, yes. Don’t make them look like lessons, though.” “Oh, fiiiiiiine.” The two of them laughed, and I couldn’t help but join them. > Chapter 25: Not the Best Party Venue > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “These come with Pumpkin’s best wishes, Crimson.” High Flyer smiled as he laid a big tray down on the counter beside the window. “She was thrilled when we told her there was no reason you couldn’t have cupcakes. She made more than enough for the entire floor, and refused to take a single bit from us. It’s her gift to you.” I smiled like an idiot and shook my head. “Sweet Celestia, how does that old mare stay in business? She does this kind of stuff for the whole town!” I looked at my parents and asked, “Can one of you go to SugarCube Corner and thank her for me? Like, right now?” Mom nodded and gave Dad a little shove. “You go. If I leave the two of you alone, half of these will be gone when I get back. And don’t even try to tell me I’m wrong,” she said with a smirk and a raised brow. “Give Pumpkin our best regards and thanks.” Dad sighed and let out a cough that echoed throughout the room. “You know me way too well, dear,” he said with a smile as he started for the door. I chuckled to myself. “Thanks, Dad. See you in a bit.” “Be back soon, buddy.” After Dad left, I turned to Mom. “Ma, is Dad okay?” “He’s alright, sweetheart. He usually gets that kind of cough this time of year, remember? It’s his allergy season. I had that for a while, too. It’s a pity it happens when the weather gets nice. Rather helpful that we’re in the hospital, actually; his doctor is right downstairs if he needs anything.” “Yeah, but he’s been going downstairs kinda often…” I rested my head in my hooves. “He can still have a cupcake with me, right?” Mom chuckled. “Yes, sweetie, I’ll let him have a cupcake.” When I sighed, she walked up to me and said, “Relax, Crimson. Your father will be fine. Today is a day for you to celebrate! Pumpkin’s gift to you was a great way to start it, wouldn’t you say?” I nodded in response. It’s not the first time I’ve had to celebrate a birthday in the hospital. My transplant happened around my birthday when I had it four years ago, and they didn’t let me do nearly as much then as they are now. At least this year I get cupcakes. Definitely a step up from stale rice cakes. I glanced at the calendar— Friday, a school day, so nopony will get here ‘til later. I had decided to have what I guess you could call a party. It’s only been about two months since I last saw them, but Inkwell and Joy promised to stop by again. Amy and Rose told me they would come, too. Obviously, Starry and Tesla would be here— Tess told me so yesterday. Gramma also planned to come; she said she would stay for the weekend. Considering that Miss Pumpkin had made more than enough cupcakes for the whole floor, I figured it would be a good idea to get the sharing process started. “Hey Mom, can you count out, I dunno, fifteen cupcakes, and put ‘em over there? Let’s give the rest to High Flyer to hoof out to the other foals.” “Fifteen? How many do you plan to eat?” “Moooooom, I mean for everypony else! You, Dad, Gramma, Inkwell, Joy, Amy, Rose, Tesla, Starry, and me, of course.” Mom paused for a second before she smiled, walked over to me, and poked me in the ribs. “That’s still only ten, you little pig.” I giggled and responded, “What, I can’t keep a few extra? It’s my birthday, you know!” Mom sighed. “Fine, smart aleck. I’ll keep them over here on the counter. You want yours now? You had lunch, so I’ll allow it.” She smiled. “Can I have another one when everypony else shows up?” She smirked and raised a brow at me. “Fine, but no more than that for today, got it?” I gave her a really fast nod. “Maybe I’ll let you have another one tomorrow. Maybe…” She chuckled. “Need anything else?” I thought for a second before I answered, “Yeah. When you’re done, could you go out and get High Flyer for me? I don’t wanna hit the call button or they’ll think something’s wrong.” “Good thinking. I’ll be right back.” Mom counted out fifteen cupcakes and levitated them off the tray, setting them on the counter. She kept one in her aura and rolled the overbed table in front of me. Walking to the door, she placed the cupcake on the table and gave me a stern look. “Now don’t eat too fast, birthday colt.” I glanced at the ceiling and responded, “I won’t…” She glared at me and walked out the door. I carefully unwrapped the paper around the bottom half of the cupcake, and when I was sure Mom was out of sight… I shoved the whole thing in my mouth in one shot, the way SugarCube Corner cupcakes are supposed to be eaten. “…Make a wish, it’s your birthday party!” After everypony finished singing, I blew out the lone candle lit atop the cupcake in front of me. As the smoke dissipated, they all stomped their hooves and cheered. Everypony had arrived just after dinner—which they serve way too early—so we decided to get the ‘party’ started. As Mom plucked the candle out of the cupcake, I looked around the room. “Okay, everypony ready?” There were nods all around— some reluctant, some willing, and one that I had to stop. “Sorry, little guy. I don’t think you can handle a whole one yet; you might choke. Mom, can you split his in half?” Sitting on the end of my bed, Inkwell pouted as Mom split his cupcake in two and set one of the halves aside. “Okay, that’s better. Alright, time for the ol’ Sugarcube Corner tradition. One, two, three!” At that moment, everypony took their cupcakes and stuffed them into their mouths whole. Everypony around the room smiled as they chewed their cupcakes, except for Gramma, Mom, and Joy, who stared at each other with a raised brow. I don’t think any mom in Ponyville has ever liked this tradition. Party poopers… After a minute of letting the cupcakes settle, everypony watched as Inkwell downed the other half of his cupcake, softly stamping their hooves on the floor again when he finished. He got up and hugged me from behind, saying, “Happy birfday, Crimmy!” Everypony else chuckled as Gramma, Mom, and Joy each let out a small ‘awwww.’ I laughed as well, as I reached behind me and ruffled the back of his mane. When he started tapping my head again, Inkwell said, “Hey, Crimmy…” He rubbed one of his forelegs around my head in a circular motion. “…you feel fuzzy!” I’d had a scan about a month ago, with good results, so the doctors hadn’t given me any chemo since then. They still didn’t want me to leave yet, though. One of the things I hadn’t even thought to do was check my head. I brought a hoof up and checked myself, and sure enough, I felt a bit of fuzz. “Hey, you’re right, buddy! I think my mane’s growing back!” Everypony made a different remark of congratulations as Inkwell hugged me again. Dad came up to rub my head himself. “Look at that! We might have to bring your hairbrush back here soon.” He coughed for a second and gave his chest a soft pound. “Woah, maybe I shouldn’t be gulping those cupcakes down anymore. Looks like it’s giving me heartburn.” I winked at him and said, “Oh, come on, Dad. You can’t suck it up for one day?” He snorted and replied, “Geez, you’re as bad as me with those puns, buddy.” “Where do you think I get it from?” “Touché, Crimson. Touché.” He smiled and gave me a soft noogie. Gramma chimed in, “Well, there’s your birthday present, sweetheart! See, you can’t escape them!” I had made it a point to tell everypony not to bring me birthday gifts. I just couldn’t think of anything to ask for, and I didn’t want to put everypony on the spot. Dad told me about a few games he was working on, but they weren’t going to be available for a while. Even though I had a feeling Gramma would give me a check, I didn’t want to just ask for bits— I wouldn’t be able to go out and spend them anyway. I just asked to nix the presents altogether. Maybe when I get out of the hospital I’ll think of something, but I have enough stuff as it is. “Well, there you go, buddy!” Dad rubbed my head again and chuckled. “Happy birthday!” After the official birthday traditions were over, the room split up and different conversations started. Joy asked for advice from Amy and Rose about second transplants. Gramma and my parents sat amongst themselves, talking about who knows what. Starry, Tess, and I sat down to keep Inkwell occupied. I wouldn’t call it a conversation, but it was certainly entertaining for us. Inkwell is a hoofful. Once late evening fell, Inkwell and Joy had to leave to put the little guy to bed, but not before Inkwell got a chance to rub my head again. Amy and Rose went with them, since they live close to each other. Tess and Starry stayed for a little longer, but they eventually left, too. After they did, it was the ideal time to go to sleep early. I felt exhausted from the party. As I lay my head down on my pillow, Dad came up to me. “You tired, buddy? You gonna hit the hay early tonight?” “Yeah, I think so. I’m kinda tired from everypony being here.” Mom came over, too. “I’m not surprised. Inkwell can certainly do that to you.” We all laughed. Dad rubbed my head. “Sounds like a plan. We want to talk with you tomorrow, though, okay? And don’t worry, nothing’s wrong— we just want to talk.” I was curious at first, but too tired to care. “So despite being in here, did you have a good birthday?” I smiled and nodded as I snuggled into my sheets. Dad smiled back and said, “Good. See you in the morning.” He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, a gesture Mom and Gramma copied in turn. Surrounding my bed, they all smiled, looked first at each other, then back to me and said in unison: “Happy birthday, Crimson.” > Chapter 26: Presents Big and Small > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The morning after my birthday, I felt kinda lazy, and I was still a little tired from my party, so I just laid back and watched some TV. Around lunchtime, I asked if I could have another one of my cupcakes. Mom reluctantly caved after some coaxing from Dad. As I happily chomped on my treat, under the condition that I didn’t eat it in one bite, Mom, Dad, and Gramma came up and sat around my bed. Mom started first. “Okay, sweetie— we know you said no gifts this year, but we do have something for you. Actually, it’s more something from your father— it was his idea.” Dad looked like he was about to protest, but Mom hushed him. Gramma continued. “First of all, I’m giving your dad another check for your savings account. I have every year for your birthday, and I don’t intend to skip a year.” I smiled and thanked her with a hug. “However, that’s not really the present we’re talking about.” Dad spoke next. “So here’s the funny thing, buddy— this kind of happened by accident. At least, the timing was an accident. A few months ago, I went and talked to a pony named Miss Nightingale.” I knew that name. “That’s the mare that was always in the PonyLife room when I went in there. I haven’t seen her since…” I hadn’t been in the PonyLife room for a while. I didn’t have anypony to play with anymore. Dad quickly jumped back on topic. “Well anyway, not long after you got admitted, I went and talked with her.” That seemed vaguely familiar. “I think I remember that. That was right around the first time you came up, right, Gramma?” Gramma nodded. “Good memory, sweetheart!” Dad chuckled. “Yeah, better than mine! So anyway, I went and talked to Miss Nightingale, but I don’t think I told you what I talked to her about, did I?” I thought back. “No, you didn’t.” He nodded. “Good— just making sure. I didn’t want to tell you in case it didn’t work out.” That piqued my curiosity. “In case what didn’t work out?” “Well, do you remember mentioning to me that there isn’t a lot in the PonyLife room for ponies your age to do?” I nodded. “Yeah, why?” Dad smiled. “Well, I was looking to change that. When I talked to Miss Nightingale, I had only been in retirement for a week, so I called my old boss. I asked him about the possibility of donating some games and systems to the hospital.” I smiled for a second before I realized something. “But… I didn’t see anything in the PonyLife room the last time I was in there.” Dad sighed and shook his head. “I know, I wasn’t able to convince him to make the donations; he offered to donate money instead. When I asked Miss Nightingale about it, she said they had gotten the donation, but the hospital planned to spend it on more foal-geared toys. She told me she didn’t make the call on how the donations were spent, and she apologized. However, she made another suggestion, and here’s where we get to the part about your present.” I had totally forgotten that was what started the conversation in the first place. “Oh, yeah. Wait— what does all that have to do with me?” Mom smiled. “It has everything to do with you, sweetie. Why do you think your father had that conversation in the first place?” Dad continued. “So here’s what Miss Nightingale told me: monetary donations to pediatrics can be spent however the hospital chooses, so if they want to spend it on foal-age toys, then they will. Even though there are kids your age here, most of the patients are younger, so those are the kinds of toys the hospital gets. However, money donated to a specific purpose has to be spent for that purpose. Miss Nightingale’s suggestion…” He paused for what I guess was some dramatic effect. “…was to start our own foundation— in your name.” My eyes went wide at that. “What?” Dad smiled and nodded. “Yep. If we started our own foundation, any monetary donations could be spent the way we see fit. If we focused that foundation specifically for older kids, then you could play a big part in determining what the money is spent on, since you’re more likely to know what ponies your age enjoy. What do you think?” The thought was a little overwhelming, to be honest. “That’d be awesome! But, how would we do that? It sounds complicated.” Gramma suddenly spoke up. “That’s where I come in. When your father first heard about this, he mentioned it to me. I’ve worked with a few teachers that help foundations that focus on schools, so I’ve learned some tricks and met some ponies. I have a few connections.” Mom chimed in, “And I know a few ponies at the Arts Center that have worked with this stuff, too. The Center has to get its funding from somewhere.” She smiled at Gramma, who nodded back at her. I felt like they were trying to build up to some big reveal or something. Dad sighed. “Alright, let’s just tell him. Enough with the suspense.” Mom and Gramma laughed, then gestured at him with their hooves. He leaned on my bed and rested his head on one of his hooves. “Long story short, Crimson, for the past couple of months, the three of us have set up just about everything that needs to be done to start the foundation. We even managed to get it all done right around now. There are just a few more legalities to clear up. You’re going to have a foundation in your name.” He wore a silly grin on his face. “How’s that for a birthday present?” It took a minute for it all to sink in, but when it did, my eyes went wide and my jaw dropped. If I could see my own face, I probably would have said it looked like a cartoon character. My parents and Gramma looked at me for a second before they started laughing. “What do you think, sweetheart? Exciting, isn’t it?” Gramma smiled and nuzzled my cheek. I still couldn’t get any words out, so I just nodded. “We thought you’d enjoy that!” Dad said with a laugh as he rubbed my head. I still wasn’t used to the new fuzz. There was a knock at the door. As everypony turned their heads, I spotted the sky blue hooves through the glass. I looked at Dad and asked, “I’m guessing we’re keeping this between us for now, right?” Dad nodded and responded, “Smart colt.” As the door creaked open, Tesla asked, “Can I come in?” When she got a look at my parents and Gramma crowded around my bed, she winced. “Should I come back later?” Gramma smiled and waved a hoof at her. “No, no! Come on in, dear. We were just having some idle family chit-chat. You’re welcome to join us!” My parents and I nodded. She shuffled inside, her head tilted down ever so slightly. The bulge on the left side of her saddle bag drew my eye. “You’re here kinda early, Tess; it isn’t even one o’clock yet. Everything okay?” I asked She nodded and answered, “Yeah, I’m okay. I couldn’t wait anymore; I was afraid something would happen to it.” I furrowed my brow and asked, “Happen to what?” Tesla glanced around the room, then pointed at the rolling table next to Mom. “Um, could you roll that over, Mrs. Harmony?” Mom nodded and cleared the remainder of my lunch from the table. She glanced at me, clearly just as curious as I was as to what Tesla was planning. Mom rolled the table in front of me, while Tess leaned on the foot of my bed. Tess nodded to Mom and said, “Thank you. Um, so, Crimson, I know you asked us not to give you any gifts, but…” I smirked. I figured Tess would give me something, and I was right to assume she wouldn’t do it at the party. “…but I’ve been working on this for almost two months.” As she put all four hooves back on the floor, I sat up so I could see her over the edge of my bed. She closed her eyes, then took a deep breath and started mumbling to herself. For a moment, I thought she had lost her marbles. A second later, Tess stopped mumbling and scrunched her face up like the sun had shone directly into her eyes. I saw a spark appear at the tip of her horn, then the whole thing started glowing a light copper color. I flinched and fell back; I’d never seen her use a successful spell before. Her saddlebag was enveloped in her aura, and a wrapped box floated out of the pocket. Tesla’s legs quivered as she levitated the box in my direction, cracking open one eye. The box hovered overhead, quivering like her legs for a moment before it rested exactly in the center of the table. The second it landed, the aura disappeared with a soft snap, and Tess stopped shaking. She smiled and took a deep breath, then leaned on my bed again as she looked at me. I paid no attention to the box on the table as I locked eyes with Tesla. My mouth hung open for a second before I exclaimed, “Woah! You’ve been practicing!” Tess nodded. “Yeah. After that thing with my mom and the dark magic, she put the books away in the attic. She’s been helping me every day since then. It took a while, but I finally got it!” Off to my side I heard whispering. “What dark ma—” “Don’t ask.” As I sat up again, I saw Tess blush and her eyes shift away for a second before she said, “I wanted you to be the first one to see it.” I gave her a small smile before she pointed at the box. “Oh, and I wanted to give you that, too. That’s your gift. Just… be careful with it. I’ve been working on it for a while.” I smiled and looked at the box on the table. It was wrapped with red wrapping paper, and a blue bow sat on top of it. When I took the bow off and set it aside, Mom swiped it from the table. I swear, Mom saves everything. As I carefully unwrapped the paper, it revealed a plain, brown box, a little bigger than my hoof. I opened the top and looked in, but all I saw was a lot of tissue paper. If there was anything in there, Tess had hidden it pretty well. Right as I was about to put my hoof in, Tess cried, “Wait! Hold on— sit back.” She put her hooves back on the floor and took another deep breath. I leaned back against my pillow as I saw her scrunch up her face again. Her horn sparked and started glowing once again, and I could see her copper aura shining from the inside of the box. Tess opened one of her eyes again, but she wasn’t shaking this time. I saw some of the tissue paper unravel, then the whole thing started to lift. “Oh, come on…” Tess mumbled. The box lifted a bit more before it started sliding down from around whatever was inside. “There we go…” I saw a curved object appear from inside it. As the box fell away, its top clipped the object and caused the whole thing to fall on its back. In the process, the object itself started glowing inside Tesla’s aura. The object quivered for a second before she gently placed it down. On the table sat a pink neon light in the shape of a heart, perched on top of a small, black base. Tess’s aura snapped away again, allowing the light to shine on its own, and giving her the opportunity to take another breath. Then she leaned on the edge of the bed again and smiled with a light blush. “Happy birthday, Crimson.” > Chapter 27: A Sensitive Thing Indeed > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The neon light sat glowing on the table in front of me; I sat up again to get a better look. The curved glass was almost large enough to put my hoof through. It glowed like a string of stars hidden behind a pink nebula. I would have sworn it had been done by a professional. I sat there staring at it for a moment. “Tess, you… you made this?” She just nodded and smiled at me, her blush becoming as bright as the light. “My uncle lives in Hoofington— he makes neon lights. I visited him a while ago, and he showed me how he does it. After I watched him for a while, he asked me if I wanted to make one of my own… It took me eight tries to get this right.” Tess brushed the back of her head with a hoof. “My uncle helped me shape the glass and put in the neon, but I did the wire connections myself.” She beamed at the last remark. I looked at the light and asked, “What wires? I don’t see any.” She smiled and responded, “The battery and the wires are all in the base. There’s a switch on the back— the box turned it on for you.” She giggled and pointed at the back of the light’s base. I gently shifted the light on the table so I could get a look at the back; I found the switch in question, resting in the down position. When I flipped the switch, the light winked out. I gave the clear glass heart a once-over, then flipped the switch again. As I bathed in the pink light, I couldn’t do anything but alternate gazing at the heart and its creator. I caught Tesla’s mouth turning down. After one more look at the light, I stared right at her. In a soft voice, she asked, “Is something wrong with it?” I slowly shook my head and looked back at the heart. “Then… what’s the matter?” As I slowly shook my head again, I responded, “Nothing… I just…” “Just what?” I glanced up at her and said, “I never thought you could do something like this…” before I looked back at the heart, admiring its structure. I heard the sound of hooves hitting the floor instead of a response, so I looked back in Tesla’s direction to find her on all fours, glaring at me. “What do you mean, ‘you didn’t think I could do something like that’? You think I’m not good enough with my hooves?” This was not at all the response I expected. “What? No! I just—” “You know electricity is my thing! Why would you think I couldn’t do something like that?” “That’s not at all what I—” “I can’t believe you’d say something like that!” Tesla huffed. She glared at me one more time before she swung the door open and stomped out, allowing the slow creak of the closing door to fill everypony’s ears. I stared at the door for a second as I let my mouth hang open, then I looked at my parents. “Uhh… what just happened?” Dad looked first at Mom, then at Gramma with a small smirk and a raised brow, before he turned to me and said, “Ya dun goofed, buddy.” “Huh?” “Sweetie, you forgot to say a few key things to Tesla there,” Mom remarked. “Huh? What didn’t I say?” Dad sighed. He looked at Mom and asked, “You want to take this one, hon?” Mom nodded. “That’s probably a good idea. You seem to forget these things from time to time, too.” Dad shrugged. “Hey, no stallion is perfect.” Mom chuckled. “Well, isn’t that a gross understatement!” I stared at the two of them. “Wait, what?” After a lesson from Mom on how to say certain things to girls, with occasional input from Gramma and Dad, I groaned and laid back on my pillow. “Why is this so complicated?” Mom sighed. “It’s really not, sweetie. All you have to do is think about their feelings constantly and you’ll be fine.” My shoulders slumped at the thought. How was that not complicated? Dad laughed. “I told you, Crimson— girls are a strange phenomenon. You need to say juuuuuuuuuust the right words or you’ll end up with a bunch of slammed doors. Well… that one didn’t exactly slam, but you know what I mean.” I did know what he meant. I didn’t want that happening with Tess. “Should I go after her?” Gramma sat up. “No, sweetheart. Let her come to you. If she really likes you, she’ll come back as soon as she’s cooled down a bit.” I looked at Gramma and asked, “But what if she doesn’t?” Mom chuckled and poked my nose. “Silly colt— she likes you too much. She’ll be back, don’t you worry. You just need to apologize when she does.” I laid back on my pillow and looked at Dad. “Dad, are girls always this exhausting?” He laughed and looked at Mom. “Eyyup.” Mom and Gramma both retaliated by punching him on opposite shoulders. “Hey! What’d I do?” Gramma replied, “You were bein’ a smart aleck.” Dad complained, “Am I wrong?” Mom and Gramma glanced at each other, and Mom said, “No, not really.” They all started laughing, then Mom punched him again. Adults… After I watched Dad getting beat on, I turned over and tried to go to sleep. As I dug my hooves into the grass, I settled down on the warm ground. The breeze blew through my coat as I stared at the lake’s reflection of the sun. We had been swimming, but at some point, Starry decided to get out and paint the scenery. With all the paint that had dripped from his brushes, his coat became a mess. He had to go back home and get himself cleaned up, and he refused to just jump back in the lake. “The sunset is so pretty. I love that color.” Tess sighed as she snuggled up against me. I draped a wing over her and replied, “Yeah. Too bad Starry left already. I think he had the perfect color for this.” Tess looked at me and chuckled, “Are you kidding? Starry has the perfect color for everything.” I laughed. “Good point.” As we bathed in the pink light of the sunset, I could see the moon rising on the horizon. “Ah, it’s almost my favorite time of the day.” “What’s that?” Tess asked. “Nighttime. I oughta get my telescope— it’s nice and clear tonight.” I heard a huff and felt Tesla pull herself out from under my wing. “But I’m not with you at night! I usually have to be home by the time the stars come out! What are you saying? You don’t like spending time with me?” “W-What?” “I can’t believe you! You’re so insensitive!” As I stood up, Tess turned away from me and stomped down the path back toward town. I stood there with my mouth agape. “What… what did I say? Why did she think I was— wait… why does this feel so familiar…?” I turned around and looked at the horizon again; the moon was higher, but the pink light of the sunset hadn’t changed. “That’s weird…” I heard a chuckle echo from behind me. “‘Tis not as strange as you may think, my faithful stargazer.” I whipped around when I heard the familiar, regal voice. “Your surroundings can permeate the Dreamscape rather easily— visual as well as audible.” “Princess Luna!” I bowed to her, but remembering the times she told me it was unnecessary, I quickly rose again. “I was wondering why the stars weren’t coming out. I’m surprised I didn’t figure out I was dreaming sooner. Especially with all the stuff you told me about lu— uh…” I put my hoof to my head and tried to remember the word. The Princess smiled. “Lucidity?” “That’s it!” My hoof leapt from my temple. “The fact that I’m not in the hospital should’ve been a pretty big clue.” I smacked my forehead with a hoof, then I sighed. “But even my dreams won’t let me forget what happened with Tesla today…” Princess Luna cocked a brow. “Oh?” I winced. “Can I tell the short version?” She nodded. “That is fine.” I started, “Tesla gave me this awesome birthday present— a pink neon light that—” “Ah, likely the source of the everlasting sunset.” I looked at the sky again. “…I didn’t even think of that; I must have left it on. Anyway, I guess I said something wrong. Whatever I said, she took it as an insult, and I didn’t mean it that way at all. She was really upset when she left.” Luna nodded. “Yes, you must be careful what you say, Crimson. Improper words can pierce a filly’s heart— ‘tis a sensitive thing. However, as long as there is no permanent damage, it can be repaired. With patience, and a well-worded apology, all will be forgiven.” I thought back to the conversation with my family, then looked at her and said, “That’s… basically what my parents and Gramma told me before.” The Princess smiled. “Wise ponies indeed. You need not worry; Tesla will return to you… soon. Your family is absolutely right. “Speaking of your family…” Luna paused. “What about them?” The Princess raised her eyebrows at me. “I hear that the Crimson Star Adolescents’ Foundation shall be coming to fruition.” It only took me a second to catch what she meant. “How did you know?” “It has been prominent in your parents’ dreams as of late. Last I observed your father, he was signing ‘the last document’.” I smiled as I finally understood how much work Mom, Dad, and Gramma really must have put into the process if they were dreaming about it. Only one thing made that smile falter. “Princess?” “Yes?” “Did you come up with that name? The ‘Crimson Star Adolescents’ Foundation’?” “Nay. ‘Twas one of your parents— likely your father. Why do you ask?” I shrugged. “I dunno, I just… I don’t like the idea of a foundation really being named after me. I feel like… it might put too much attention on me, I guess.” Luna tapped her chin with a hoof. “Can you think of a superior title?” I thought for a second. “Well… not right now, no, but maybe I might later.” The Princess smiled. “I am certain you will have no trouble doing so. You are an intelligent colt.” I blushed. “Thanks, Princess.” I smiled back at her and rubbed the back of my head, which felt surprisingly soft. Realizing I had my mane again, I said, “Oh, yeah! Dream!” Luna chuckled. “You will find a better lucidity cue in due time, but for now, that will do.” I grinned. “Yeah, my mane is growing back! I won’t be able to use it as my sign for much longer!” Luna raised her brows and nodded. “‘Tis good news, Crimson— a good step toward recovery. I shall depart and allow you to, shall we say, meddle with your own mind.” The two of us laughed, then turned in opposite directions. Before I had a chance to do anything, I heard, “Oh, wait! I nearly forgot!” I whipped around and faced the Princess, expecting something was wrong. The Princess approached me and lit up her horn. A small table appeared in front of me, then two cupcakes on top of it, one of them bearing a lit candle. The Princess smiled and gestured to the flame, which I promptly blew out after returning her smile. She lifted the cupcakes in her aura, unwrapped them both, and deposited the candle on the table. Placing my cupcake in my hoof, she asked, “As per Ponyville tradition?” I grinned like an idiot and nodded. On the count of three, the two of us shoved the cupcakes into our mouths whole, chewing for a good minute before swallowing. The table disappeared, and the two of us laughed. Before she left me to my own devices, the Princess had only one more thing to say as she tousled my hair. “Happy birthday, Crimson.” > Chapter 28: Gifts > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- For what felt like hours on the lake, I attempted to change my surroundings, but to no avail. I tried envisioning Blackhawk and Stripes sitting by the water, but nothing happened. Tess didn’t come back up the path, either. All I saw was the lake, with that odd pink sunset glowing on the horizon. I couldn’t deny that it looked beautiful, but I was disappointed that I couldn’t create what I wanted to see. I guess I needed more practice. After giving up trying to change anything, I just stared at the sunset, which suddenly went black. A moment later, I opened my eyes to see my mother leaning over me. “Oh! Sorry, sweetie. Was the light helping you sleep? It was on all night.” Mom kissed me on the forehead as I looked at the clock. It was nine in the morning; at least I had a good night’s sleep. “Yeah, I guess it was. The light came into my dream.” I yawned and stretched my legs. When I sat up and looked toward the window, I found a tray with a lid covering it on the counter. “Let me guess— Asparagus again?” Mom lifted the lid in her aura from beside me. “Yep, looks like it. They brought it in only a few minutes ago, so it should still be hot. I know it isn’t your favorite thing in the world, but please eat some, won’t you?” I groaned and crossed my forelegs. “Fine.” Mom smiled and kissed me on the forehead. “That’s my colt.” I heard a laugh from the window, where Dad and Gramma sat. “With all the sweets you’ve eaten this weekend, you better finish that whole plate, buddy!” Dad said, wagging his hoof at me. I let out a harsh sigh and whined, “Oh, come on! If it was Mom’s or Gramma’s cooking I’d do it, but have you tried this stuff?” Dad shrugged. “Nope, can’t say that I have, Champ.” I smirked. “I swear, it’s been making my stomach hurt lately. C’mere and take a bite, then tell me to eat the whole plate.” Dad raised a brow, then trotted to my bed. He picked up a piece of asparagus, took a bite of it, and chewed for a few seconds before he swallowed it. He smirked back at me, looked at Gramma and Mom, then pushed the call button on my bed. Not a second after I asked Dad why he pushed the button, High Flyer popped his head through the door. “Is everything alright?” He looked at me, and I pointed at Dad. “Is there a problem, mister Dasher?” Dad pointed a hoof back at me, raised his eyebrows, and asked High Flyer, “Can we bring him food from home?” Dad shook his head. “You should’ve had me try that stuff sooner, Crimson. If I had known we could bring you whole meals, I would have been cooking with your mom for you since I retired.” On the last day of my birthday weekend, I was treated to two more gifts. First, I was apparently doing well enough that I didn’t need to have a restrictive diet anymore. I hadn’t had any treatments for about a month, and my last scan only showed small traces of cancer. Second, if the doctors kept me there for another month, and nothing extreme happened, they’d let me go home and just keep an eye on me. Pretty good birthday presents, if you asked me! Mom and Gramma went back home to take care of some housework, and I was going to spend the day with Dad. I was also going to have my first home-cooked meal— as long as I had breakfast and lunch at the hospital, Mom and Gramma planned to make me my favorite dishes for dinner. “Has the asparagus really been making your stomach hurt? Why didn’t you tell the doctors?” Dad asked as he pulled out my deck of cards. “It’s not just the asparagus. Practically everything’s been doing it lately.” “Why didn’t you say something, Crimson? That’s pretty important for the doctors to know,” he scolded me as he dealt the cards out. I shrugged. “The pain doesn’t usually last that long, and I figured there wasn’t much I could do about the food. I knew Mom wouldn’t let me live on sweets, either,” I chuckled. Dad sighed. “I’m serious, Crimson. You should tell the doctors about anything that isn’t normal.” “I know, I know. There isn’t anything that—” Something occurred to me, but I dismissed it. It had happened to me before, a while ago, and it was my own fault. “…Nah, nothing else weird that I can think of.” Dad narrowed his eyes at me. “Okay, but if you think of anything, make sure you at least tell High Flyer, got it?” I sighed. “I will, I will.” As Dad looked at his cards, there was a knock at the door. It slowly opened, and I heard a familiar voice. “Can… can I come in?” A sky blue head poked through the doorway, and I nodded. Tesla came into the room and closed the door behind her, then slowly shuffled her way toward me. Her head faced the floor the whole way until she got to the foot of my bed. Then she peeked at me through the tops of her eyes. She saw my mouth turned down only slightly, then we both spoke at the same time. “Tesla, I’m sorry.” “Crimson, I’m sorry.” I needed to let her talk first, so I shut up and listened, just like Mom told me. “I’m sorry, Crimson. I talked to my mom last night, and she’s right— I overreacted. I don’t know why I got so upset. I… I guess I was nervous. I don’t even remember what you said that made me yell, but I’m sure you weren’t trying to be mean. I feel so bad.” She turned and looked at the floor again. “No, Tess. You had every right to be upset. I forgot to say some pretty important stuff.” I reached over to the side table next to my bed and picked up the neon light, then set it on the rolling table in front of me. “First of all…” I smiled and turned the light on. “…it’s beautiful.” As she looked up at me again, I saw her mouth turn up slightly. “Second…” I motioned for her to come to the side of the bed. When she got close enough, I leaned down and gave her a hug. “…Thank you. I love it.” “You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it.” As she set her hooves back on the floor, her smile came in full. “Happy birthday, Crimson.” > Chapter 29: Timing, Timing... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As I put the light back on the side table, I felt a small gurgle in my stomach. When I sat back against my pillow, I put my hoof to my gut, and felt it again. Dad leaned to me and whispered, “Crimson, are you alright?” When I nodded, his narrowed eyes told me that he wasn’t convinced. “Alright. I need to go use the phone down the hall for a minute, but I’ll be right back, okay?” I nodded again, and he headed out the door. I thought I saw him stumble on his hoof, but I wasn’t sure. Tess hopped up and leaned on my bed to get a good look at me. “Are you okay, Crimson? You don’t look very happy.” I groaned and looked at my stomach. “I dunno, actually. My stomach’s hurting again. Could be from lunch— the food is really crummy.” “Do you want me to go get your dad?” “Yeah, could you?” No sooner had I said that, a loud alarm went off, causing us to put our hooves to our ears. “Aah! What in Celestia’s name is that?!” A moment later, I saw a bunch of nurses galloping down the hall. I barely made out one of them yelling, “Code blue in five-thirty-two!” The second the last nurse ran past my room, I felt something jump up in my throat. I pointed to the sink, which had a plastic bucket right beside it, and shouted, “Tess, grab me that, quick!” Tess’s eyes popped and her mouth flew open, then she rushed to the sink, grabbed the bucket, and rushed back. Just as I got the bucket in my lap, up came my lunch. As I sat in my bed, panting, I looked toward my door. The alarm was still going off, but I thought I heard the sound of galloping hooves again. I looked at Tess, who looked back at me with raised eyebrows and pointed at the door. Right after I nodded at her, the door opened and Dad hurried in, just as I brought up breakfast. Dad rushed to my bedside right as the alarm turned off. He sighed, “Thank Celestia that’s over.” He caught one glimpse of the bucket on my bed, nodded, then pushed the call button on my bed and asked, “Crimson, what happened? You said you were feeling alright.” I stared at the green goop in the bucket for a second, then took a deep breath before I said, “Well… I was. That came out of nowhere.” “Well, you said your stomach’s been bothering you; this could be why.” Dad turned to the speaker next to the call button. “Why haven’t they answered?” He trotted to the door and poked his head out. When another nurse came rushing by, Dad stopped her and asked, “My son just vomited. We need help in here. Why hasn’t anypony answered at the call desk?” I heard her out in the hall as she responded, “I’m sorry sir, but we’re about to lose a colt in the other room, and we need as many hooves as we can get. Somepony will be with you in a few minutes,” then she galloped down the hall. I kept my head hovering over the bucket as Dad trotted back to my bed and shook his head. “You couldn’t have done this before I called your mother?” He sighed and rubbed his left shoulder. “Timing, Crimson. Timing.” I shook my head back at him and clutched my stomach. “Sorry, Dad. I swear, that came out of nowhere. I hope that colt is alright.” Tess nodded her head. Dad sighed. “Me too. You keep that in your lap while we wait for a nurse.” As we waited, Dad kept tapping his hoof. “I understand there’s an emergency, but they can’t spare ONE nurse? Seriously, they should— ahh…” He rubbed his left foreleg, then began breathing deeply. I didn’t like the way he looked. “Dad, are you alright?” He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth as he took in a sharp breath. “I don’t know, I—” He suddenly fell to the floor, clutching his chest. “DAD! Oh geez, somepony help me in here!” I slammed the call button again before I realized there wouldn’t be any help. I turned to Tess and shouted, “Tess, can you go down the hall and— shoot, they’re dealing with that colt!” Dad’s breathing became fast and sharp as he laid on the floor, gasping. He turned and laid on his back, then he stopped breathing completely as his hoof flopped to the floor. “GAH! What do we do now?!” Tess frantically looked around the room before she spotted something on the wall next to me. Her eyes lit up and she shouted, “I know!” She squeezed her eyes shut as her horn sparked and glowed. I turned around and saw two handled paddles, surrounded by her copper aura, levitating toward Dad. “He was grabbing his left foreleg and clutching his chest; he was having a heart attack!” I stared at her as she held the paddles aloft. “I know what to do— my grandpa had one! Hit that button on the wall!” There was a big, red button on the wall that said ‘Defibrillator’ right under where the paddles had been. Luckily, it was just within my reach, so I smacked the button. Tess rubbed the paddles together, then hovered them onto Dad’s chest and yelled, “CLEAR!” I leaned over the side of my bed, staring at Dad on the floor, then I saw his chest leap up as the shock went through him. Nothing happened. “Shoot! CLEAR!” Tess yelled again as she shocked Dad a second time with the paddles. Still, nothing happened. I panted again, still holding the bucket beside me, when High Flyer came through the door and asked, “What’s going on in here?” He saw Dad on the floor and Tess holding the paddles. “What in Eques—” Tess screeched, “CLEAR!” yet again and sent another shock. At the third jolt, Dad started coughing and turned over, breathing sharply again. “Oh, thank Celestia!” Tess dropped the paddles on the floor and turned around. Just as High Flyer was going to say something, Tess pointed at Dad and shouted, “Heart attack! He needs help!” When High Flyer lifted a hoof and furrowed his brow at her, she said, “He rubbed his left foreleg and clutched his chest before he fell to the floor— I’m telling you, it was a heart attack!” High Flyer’s eyes went wide before he shouted out the door, “Call somepony from Cardiology! We need a gurney, stat!” He turned to Tess and me and asked, “Crimson, why didn’t you call one of us?! Your friend shouldn’t have—” I felt tears leaking down my cheeks as I shouted, “I DID! You were all in the other room and nopony answered at the desk! What else were we supposed to do?!” High Flyer started, “You should have—” He cut himself off and sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Somepony is coming right now; we’ll take care of your dad. I—” He sniffed the air, then spotted the bucket on the side of my bed. “Crimson, did you vomit?” I took a deep breath. “Yes, but worry about my dad right now. I’ll talk about that in a minute.” High Flyer was about to protest, but a pegasus mare wearing scrubs came in rolling a gurney. The nurse stopped short at the door, then turned to High Flyer and asked, “It was the parent?” Dad was still gasping on the floor. High Flyer nodded quickly as the nurse rolled the gurney into the room. As he helped her lift Dad, he said, “Get him to the cardiac wing, then call the family’s house number. I need to help the patient.” The nurse nodded as the two of them laid Dad down. As I sat there with Tess leaning on the side of my bed, and High Flyer helping the nurse get Dad on the gurney, I brought my legs to my chest and put my head in my hooves. I could feel the warm tears dripping down my cheeks as one obnoxious thought ran through my mind. Happy Birthday, Crimson… > Chapter 30: One To Go > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Crimson, what happened?” High Flyer had a hoof on my back as I clutched my hind legs to my torso. I sniffled as I answered, “I… I don’t know. One s-second he was fine, and the next—” “No, Crimson. Not your father— you. Why is that sitting there?” He pointed to the bucket sitting next to me. “I’ve only seen you vomit once, and that was during a chemotherapy treatment. You haven’t had chemo for a month, so something else is going on here.” “I don’t care what’s going on! What about my dad?!” I screamed. When Tess climbed up on my bed and gave me a hug, I clutched her back and squeezed my eyes shut. “I care what’s going on, Crimson. You are my patient, and I want to make sure nothing new is going on. Your father is being taken care of; the nurse is bringing him to the adult cardiology wing, and then she’s calling your mother and grandmother. It’s a good thing your friend knows the symptoms of a heart attack, and how to use a defibrillator.” As I nodded slowly, I heard Tess say, “I watch a lot of science shows, and electricity is kind of my thing.” She rested her head on my shoulder as I continued to hold her close. After a few seconds of pause, High Flyer said, “I… I can see that.” At that moment, I felt something jump up in my throat again. I sniffled and said, “Tess, get off.” She lifted her head and asked, “Huh? Why?” “Just get off the bed!” I gently pushed her off me and reached for the bucket. When she saw where I was reaching, Tesla cried, “OH! Sorry!” She jumped off just in time for me to get the bucket in my lap again. As more green goop shot out of my mouth, High Flyer kept a hoof on my back and steadied the bucket in my lap. “Good, let it out.” When I finished, he asked, “Do you feel any more coming up?” I sat there for a second, panting as I kept my eyes shut. I put a hoof to my gut and waited a moment before I responded, “I don’t think so, but I can’t really tell.” He sighed. “Crimson, can you think of anything strange that might have happened over the past few days? Did you eat anything that made you feel uncomfortable?” I took a deep breath. “I’ve been eating hospital food for months, High Flyer.” He chuckled softly before he said, “I know the food isn’t ideal here, Crimson, but I mean anything… unique.” I shook my head. “No, I’m serious. It’s all I’ve been eating. Well, except for my birthday cupcakes this weekend. But anytime I’ve eaten lately I’ve been feeling uncomfortable— it just doesn’t last long. I thought it was the crummy food, and I won’t say that cupcakes are good for you.” High Flyer put a hoof to his head and sighed again. “Crimson, you really should have told me— that’s important. How long has the food been making you feel like that?” I thought for a moment. “About a week.” “Geez, Crimson. How have your—” He glanced at Tesla. “How have your trips to the rooms been?” When I raised a brow at him, he leaned in and whispered, “The bathroom, Crimson. How have your bowel movements been?” I stared blankly at him for a second as I remembered what I had thought of earlier. “Um, they haven’t.” High Flyer stared at me. “What?” I leaned in and whispered, “I haven’t been going. I’ve just been using the urinal here in the bed.” He raised his brows at me. “For how long?” I thought for a moment, and right before I answered, something connected. “…About a week.” His eyes went wide, and he responded, “That’s not good. I’m calling the doctors right now. Hopefully your mother and grandmother will be here by the time they arrive.” High Flyer took the plastic bucket into my bathroom, then I heard a flush and the sound of running water. He came back with the now-empty bucket and gave it to me. “Keep a hold of this just in case. I’ll be back in a minute.” As he turned to the door, I called out, “Wait!” He whipped back around and asked, “What’s the matter?” I paused for a second. “The colt down the hall… is he okay? What’s a code blue?” High Flyer relaxed and sighed. “Code blue can mean a few things, but generally it means a patient needs immediate attention. I can’t say much about it— he wasn’t looking good… but he seems alright for now. We got him back. Just like your friend did with your dad.” He nodded at Tesla, then walked out the door. I took a deep breath and looked at Tesla, who was propping herself on the side of my bed again. I could see her eyes watering, mirroring my own expression. I leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug as I shut my eyes again. “How in Equestria can I ever thank you, Tess? You just saved my dad’s life!” She sighed and returned the hug. “I… I just did the first thing I could think of. I’m glad it was the right thing.” I felt a small smile break as I said, “Me too. You’re one smart cookie, Tess. I’d be lost without you.” I felt a tear slide down my face as I lifted my head off her shoulder to look at her in the eyes. When she looked back, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said, “Thank you.” Tess put a hoof to her face, which went bright red, then a small smile of her own broke as she simply replied, “You’re… welcome.” After a minute of gazing into each others’ eyes, I finally slouched forward and sighed, “I guess we just need to wait for my mom and gramma now. Hopefully they’ll get here soon.” I stared across the room at the empty wall; Mom had taken Starry’s painting to get it framed. At that moment, I wished she hadn’t; looking at it always made me feel better. Tesla turned and walked toward the window as she said, “I’ll let you know when they’re coming. I can see your window from the entrance when I come here.” “Thanks.” I glanced down at my sheets for a second, then spotted the empty bucket. At least there was one piece of good news: I hadn’t thrown up any more, and my stomach pain seemed to have gone away. I looked up at Tesla, who faced the window. I was going to say something about my lack of vomit, but instead I let out a loud gasp. Tess turned around and said, “What? Is something wrong? I mean, other than… well—” I cut her off as I pointed behind her and shouted, “LOOK!” She went to look out the window and asked, “What? There’s nothing out there right now.” I shook my head and cried, “Not outside, Tess— you!” “Huh? What are you—” It took only a moment after I said it: her eyes went wide and she whipped her head around, just like Starry had done months ago. There it was, clear as day— three golden lightning bolts adorned her flank, circling each other like a vortex. As Tesla stared at herself, I could see her eyes watering again. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She looked up at me for a moment, her brows furrowed; I could see multiple questions running through her mind. As High Flyer came back into the room, he saw Tess looking back at her flank, and automatically answered some of her unspoken questions. “Not five minutes ago— right before Crimson threw up. I saw it appear with my own eyes. Unfortunately, Crimson’s were closed.” I put a hoof to my forehead. “I can’t believe I missed it…” I looked back at Tess, but she was still staring at her flank. “I must say, if you’re going to get a cutie mark, saving somepony’s life is certainly the way to go about it,” High Flyer remarked. “It might not have been the way you expected, but congratulations, miss…” “Tesla,” I said. When High Flyer started putting my IV on the pole, I asked, “Are we going somewhere? Are you gonna take me to my dad?” High Flyer shook his head. “Sorry, Crimson— not right now. I just got off the phone with the doctors. We think we know what’s going on, so they want you to get an X-ray. We’re jumping you to priority, so we won’t have to wait; it won’t take very long.” He turned to Tess. “Miss Tesla, can you stay here in case Crimson’s family arrives? If we’re gone, I want them to know where we are.” Tess nodded and quietly said, “Sure…” After High Flyer set my pole up, I got out of bed, stumbling as my hooves hit the floor. I turned to Tess and said, “We’ll be right back. If we don’t have to wait, it’ll be quick. Oh, and if my mom shows up, tell her I’m okay, would you?” Tess silently nodded again, still in shock. I couldn’t tell if it was because of her cutie mark, worry about me, or maybe nervousness about seeing my mom without me there. I did feel a little better, though. As far as I know, X-rays usually don’t show anything major, so if that’s all they’re doing, I’m probably okay. > Chapter 31: Silver Lining > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The X-rays have been sent to the doctors. After they’ve been analyzed, the doctors will come and give you the results.” “Thank you, High Flyer,” Mom sighed. “May we please go see my husband now? My mother-in-law is already there, but I didn’t want to leave here until I saw Crimson myself.” High Flyer responded, “Absolutely. Do you know where the adult Cardiology wing is?” Mom nodded. “Yes, we always pass it when we come for Crimson’s biopsies.” “Okay. Take my spare pager— I will page you when the doctors are ready to see you. I hope everything is alright with your husband.” “Thank you.” Mom turned to me and said, “Let’s go, sweetheart. I’m glad to see you’re feeling alright.” I nodded, then turned toward the window. “You don’t have to stay in here alone, Tess. I’m sure my dad’ll want to thank you, anyway.” Tess flinched at my remark. “Oh… okay,” she responded, then followed us out the door. As we trotted down the hall, my pole rolling beside me, I told Mom everything that happened. Her facial expressions were in constant flux, and she kept alternating looking at me and looking forward, but she kept a steady pace. As the three of us waited in the elevator, Mom said, “Tesla, words cannot express how grateful I am. You are truly a remarkable filly.” Tess blushed. “I… I just did what I knew. I got lucky.” “Lucky my hoof. You were amazing!” I chimed. Mom chuckled, “I couldn’t agree more.” Tess’s face got even redder. “If you earned your cutie mark, you couldn’t have been anything less. Congratulations, by the way!” Mom smiled at Tess for only a moment, then looked at the elevator doors with her eyes glazed over. Tess rubbed the back of her mane and broke a barely visible smile. “…Thanks.” “Well, Mr. Dasher, if you were going to have a heart attack, today was certainly the right day for it. At least, for me it was.” Following the directions one of the nurses gave us, Mom, Tess, and I finally found Dad in one of the adult rooms. A light blue unicorn in a doctor’s coat was speaking to him. As the three of us filed into the room, we caught the last thing he said, and saw Dad give him a smirk. “Doctor, is my husband going to be alright?” Mom asked with urgency. “I’m going to do everything I can for him, ma’am.” The response didn’t satisfy her, nor me— he didn’t actually say ‘yes.’ “My name is Doctor Osis. I’m the cardiac surgeon on call today. I am going to have an echocardiogram done on your husband right away to see if we can figure out the problem. It’s early enough in the day that if we need to rush him into surgery, I will have enough help available to do so. A nurse will be here in a moment to do the echo. I will return shortly.” Mom and I jumped at the word ‘surgery,’ but if it was necessary, I didn’t see any other option. Dr. Osis nodded at us and exited the room, leaving me, Mom, and Tess with Dad. I wheeled my pole up to the side of Dad’s bed and propped myself up to give him a nuzzle. “Dad, are you okay? You scared the hay out of me…” Dad sighed. He spoke quietly, like he was trying to conserve his energy. “I’m sorry, Crimson. I never expected anything like this to happen. I’ve certainly felt better. What about you? You didn’t look too happy before, either.” “Better than before,” I sighed. “I was just—” Something suddenly occurred to me. I looked around the room before I asked him, “Hey, where’s Gramma? I thought she was here with you.” Dad smiled. “Don’t worry, she’s down the hall— she’ll be back in a second. She went to call her school in Baltimare to tell them she wouldn’t be back as soon as she thought. She’s gonna stick around to help your mom take care of you.” Despite all the tubes and wires attached to him, I smirked. “You mean take care of us.” He chuckled quietly, moving his foreleg toward me to rub my head. “I can’t sneak anything past you, can I, Champ?” I nuzzled him again and shook my head, then I heard Mom sigh. “Thank Celestia for your mother, honey.” When I turned to look at Mom, she was looking at Tess. “Tesla, may I impose upon you to help as well?” “Harmony, please,” Dad said, causing Tess’s eyes to ping-pong between him and Mom. “Tesla has done more than enough already.” He motioned to Tess to approach the bed, which she slowly did after I nodded at her as well. Tess looked at him, her brows furrowed. “Mr. Dasher, did one of the nurses tell you—” “I saw the defibrillator paddles in your aura when I came to, and there weren’t any nurses in the room,” he explained, shaking his head. “I’ve spent a lot of time solving puzzles— that wasn’t a very hard one to figure out,” Dad chuckled. “I don’t think I can ever thank you enough, you amazing filly.” He smiled as she turned away and blushed, rubbing the back of her mane with a hoof. That left enough space for Dad to see her backside. “By Luna’s moon! Did you get your cutie mark, too?” Tess’s face got even redder as she nodded and turned sideways, showing him her full mark. “Congratulations!” “Thanks,” Tess responded as she looked at the floor. “But I…” She paused for a second and looked back at Dad. “It feels kind of… wrong saying this, but I wouldn’t have gotten it if you hadn’t…” Tess stayed silent after that, with a grimace on her face. After a moment, Dad started coughing. I was worried at first, but then I realized he was laughing. “I can see why you’re concerned saying something like that, but let’s put it this way, Tesla: it’s a thick silver lining to an ugly dark cloud. Don’t you fret about it, okay? I’m glad I could help,” he finished with another chuckle, which elicited small laughs from everypony in the room, including Gramma, who had slipped in unnoticed. “Well, it seems some good news has come out of all this!” Gramma exclaimed. “Congratulations, Tesla!” Tess nodded and rubbed the back of her mane again as Gramma turned to Dad. “Okay, dear. I’m here for as long as you need me.” Mom let out another sigh, but before she could say anything, Gramma said, “Please, Harmony, did you really think I would leave at a time like this? The school will survive without me.” I saw Tess scuff the ground, then heard her quietly say, “Me too.” Gramma looked at her for a second and asked, “What’s that, dear?” Tess looked at Mom, cleared her throat, then repeated, “I’m here if you need me, too.” Mom sighed again and smiled. “Thank you, Tesla. That means a great deal to us. With all of this going on at once, we’ll need as much help as we can get.” Tess nodded. “Of course.” Seeing Tess look so determined made me smile. She really was one of the best friends I could ask for. A moment later, I heard a buzz. “Mom, that’s High Flyer’s pager. I guess we gotta go…” > Chapter 32: Clear Tubing > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The x-ray confirmed our suspicions. There is an obstruction between Crimson’s stomach and intestine— it’s preventing his digestive system from functioning normally.” Great. Just great. So much for what I know about x-rays. Guess I’m not going home in a month… “An operation would be risky, so I believe the wisest option is for us to do more chemotherapy and hope it takes care of the problem.” I’m all for hope, but I’d rather have the surgery at this point. “In the meantime, while his digestive system isn’t functioning properly, we need to insert an NG tube so he doesn’t continue to vomit. We’re also going to mark Crimson as NPO.” The second I heard the word ‘insert,’ I started listening much more intently. “Woah, woah, wait a second— what’s an NG tube? And what does ‘NPO’ mean?” High Flyer, who stood with the doctor, answered, “‘NPO’ stands for ‘Non Per Ora.’ It means you can’t eat anything. We’ll be giving you all the nutrients and the medicine you need through your PICC line. Luckily, all your medications come in a liquid form as well.” I groaned. “Shoot. So much for Gramma’s cooking.” My stomach gurgled again, but luckily, nothing jumped in my throat. “So… what’s an NG tube?” High Flyer sighed and looked at the doctor. “Please don’t make me tell him.” That was not encouraging. The doctor shook his head as High Flyer gave a sigh of relief. The doctor explained, “You began vomiting before because you can’t expel wastes naturally due to the blockage. We need to create another path for your body to use for this process. The best non-surgical way to do that is with an NG tube. ‘NG’ stands for ‘nasogastric.’ Since your nasal passages and your throat are connected, a nasogastric tube goes through your nasal passage directly to your gastrointestinal tract. We—” I’d spent enough time in a hospital to know what those words meant. I interrupted him with a loud, “What? You’re telling me you’re gonna shove a tube up my nose and into my stomach?” I saw Tess flinch when I yelled. The doctor nodded. “Basically, yes. We need to do it as soon as possible so you don’t vomit again. It’s miraculous that you didn’t while you were seeing your father. Speaking of which…” The Doc turned to Mom. “…the NG tube must be connected to machinery that cannot travel between rooms when in use. At the very most, he may be able to walk to the window, but Crimson will likely be confined to his bed. That means—” “Are you telling me I can’t go see my dad either?!” He nodded slowly and turned back to me. “Unfortunately, that is indeed the case. I’m sorry, Crimson.” “What the buck? Are you kidding me?” I shouted. “Hey! Watch your mouth, mister!” Mom yelled over me. “Well can you blame me?” I huffed and put my head in my hooves. Tess propped herself up and put a hoof on my back, a frown tugging at her muzzle. I looked back at her as I let a tear drip down my cheek. At that point, I just stopped listening to what the doctor said. I figured things couldn’t get any worse. About five minutes later, I was proven wrong. “AAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAHHH!” “Crimson, I know it hurts, but we need you to keep swallowing! It’ll be over in a few seconds! You’re doing great!” the doctor encouraged. I could feel the tube sliding down my throat as the doctor continued pushing it through my nose. As far as I could remember, I had never felt anything so painful in my life. Every time I swallowed, I felt my throat clench, fighting the tube like the invader it was. “There’s the marker; it’s in. Okay, Crimson— the worst part is over. You did a great job!” The doctor patted my fetlock, and I could feel the tears flowing down my face as I nodded slowly, panting. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. That couldn’t have been easy,” Mom said. When I slowly shook my head, she started rubbing my back. “You are absolutely amazing, Crimson. I don’t know how you put up with this.” In an attempt to laugh, I made a small wheezing sound. “Years of practice, I guess.” It felt weird to speak. I could still feel my throat trying to crush the tube. “Okay, miss. You can come back in.” About two seconds after I heard the doctor say those words, Tess stood at my bedside as if she had never left. I sat up and hunched myself over. The doctor had taped the tube to the side of my head so it wouldn’t come out; I could feel it pulling on my face. I looked at Tess and asked her, “How bad do I look?” Geez, that tube made it hard to talk. She grimaced, but she quickly hid behind a smile and answered, “You look great.” I raised a brow at her and said, “Thanks… but you don’t have to lie. Seriously, how does it look?” My voice sounded raspy. Tess grimaced again and responded, “It looks like it hurts. How does it feel? How do you feel?” I smirked and said, “That’s more like it. It feels…” I swallowed, once again feeling my throat clench around the tube. “It feels like it hurts.” I breathed out my nose, wincing. “And I’m… tired.” “I’m not surprised. Insertion of an NG tube will certainly take a lot out of you,” the doctor explained. “I’m going to speak with my colleagues so we can discuss the next course of treatment. There are a number of options, but I want to see if we can give you one that will take care of the problem while causing as few side effects as possible.” Mom sighed. “Thank you, Doctor.” He nodded at us. “Try to get some rest for now. It will do you some good.” I slowly, and silently, nodded back at him. Then he went out the door. As I carefully laid back against my pillow, I sighed, looking at Mom and Tesla in turn. “This isn’t gonna be fun,” I rasped out. “Well, hopefully you’ll get used to it. Let’s just hope that the new chemotherapy will do its job quickly,” Mom said. “Yeah, I guess…” I took a slow breath and looked toward the door. Gramma walked in right at that moment. “Oh, sweetheart, what have they done now?” She sighed. “Crimson, I’ll be with you in a moment. Harmony, can I talk to you?” She motioned for Mom to go out in the hall— not a good sign. Mom nodded and told me, “I’ll be right back, sweetie. I just need to talk to your gramma, okay?” I nodded back at her, still lying against my pillow. Mom and Gramma stayed out in the hallway for a few minutes. I couldn’t hear them talking, but I had a feeling it had to do with Dad. Tess sat with me, alternating between looking at me and the hallway; her hoof stayed on mine the whole time. When the door finally opened, Gramma walked in, but Mom stayed in the doorway and told me, “I need to go see your father, sweetie. Gramma is going to explain what’s going on, okay?” I slowly nodded again, the tube tugging on my nose. “Alright. I’ll be back in a little while.” With that, she shut the door, and I heard her hoofsteps fading down the hall. I didn’t like the way Mom and Gramma were acting. “Gramma, what’s going on?” I asked her. Tess alternated looking between her and me. Gramma sat next to me and took a breath. “Well, sweetheart, I won’t beat around the bush. You’ve spent enough time in a hospital that you’re past that.” She gave a deep sigh before she said, “Your father is going into surgery.” > Chapter 33: Always Watching > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “There’s no other option? They have to do surgery?” “Unfortunately, that is the case, sweetheart. Surgery is the only answer now. Your father’s echocardiogram showed that one of his core arteries is constricted. They need to insert a stent. Do you know what that is?” I could hear the quaver in Gramma’s voice, despite her hard mouth and eyes. “It’s like a little springy tube that’s gonna hold the artery open, right?” I swallowed over my own NG tube; it still felt strange. “Basically, yes. You certainly know your stuff.” Gramma managed a little smile. “Well, I’ve been here long enough. If it hasn’t happened to me, I’ve probably heard about it,” I chuckled, eliciting a few coughs. “There’s a truth in there somewhere,” Gramma commented. I sighed and looked at Tesla. She held the same wide eyes and curved brows as before, but she didn’t say anything. I figured she was trying to think of something comforting to say, but I imagine it isn’t easy when a friend is in this kind of situation. I heard Gramma sigh, too. “I wasn’t expecting you to be bed-ridden, Crimson. I thought I would be able to bring you to see your father before he went to the operating room. I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She didn’t say anything else, but her downcast eyes told me what her mouth didn’t. “Gramma, can you go and tell Dad I said good luck?” She looked at me and responded, “Are you alright here on your—” She cut herself off and smiled. “Of course. You’re not alone, are you?” I smiled back at her and slowly shook my head. I put a hoof on Tesla’s foreleg and said, “I’m in good hooves.” Tess looked at me and blushed. “The doc said I should be resting, anyway. Tell Dad that I’m asking Princess Luna to look out for him, too, would you?” Gramma nodded as she stood up and walked to the door. “Of course, sweetheart.” Before opening the door, she turned around and looked at Tess. “Tesla, I leave my grandson in your very capable hooves. Please take good care of him while I’m gone.” Tess put on a straight face as she replied, “Of course.” Gramma smiled. “Thank you, dear.” Then she walked through the door, leaving the sound of fading hoofsteps behind her. I took a breath and looked at Tess. “Thanks for keeping me company.” All this information hit me like a tornado. First, there’s something else wrong with me. Then, my dad needed surgery. I mean, I know the medical world is nothing new to me, but seriously? Now it just felt like life was dealing me cards from the bottom of the deck… “Of course,” she responded. She smiled and put a hoof on mine, but I saw something glistening on her cheek, and the trembling I felt wasn’t coming from me. I closed my eyes and said, “Give me a second— I have to do what I said I would. She’s not here right now, but it never hurts to try asking Princess Luna for help.” “Not so. And so, respectively. ‘Tis not an easy response when one is incorrect and correct at the same time.” Tess and I drew in sharp breaths, then looked toward one of the corners of my room, near the window. We saw a rippling sphere, like a large globe of water draining away, revealing the yawning figure of Princess Luna. Tess gasped and grabbed onto my foreleg, while I stared at the Princess, dumbfounded. “Princess Luna, I… how… that was fast.” I could barely get the words out. “I was in the neighborhood,” Princess Luna said with a sly grin. “However, I have been watching you for a little while.” My eyes went wide at that. “I… how?” Princess Luna shrugged. “An invisibility spell. Not simple, but once mastered, useful for a sharp mind.” She turned to Tesla. “‘Tis something you might find helpful someday if you wish to learn it.” Tess glanced at the royal crown and flinched, staring at the Princess. Princess Luna looked at me and motioned to Tesla, then remarked, “Well? Are official introductions not in order, young gentlecolt?” She smirked and raised a brow at me. “Oh!” I rasped out over the tube. “Yeah, uh, Princess, this is my friend, Tesla Coil. Tess, this— I think you know who this is.” Tess nodded, frozen for a moment with her eyes wide, before she bowed to the Princess and said, “Your Highness, it’s an honor to meet you. Crimson talks about you a lot.” The Princess responded, “All good things, I hope.” She winked at me before she nodded at Tess and continued, “The honor is mine, Tesla. Crimson speaks fondly of you as well, and I see he has excellent reasons for doing so. You are a worthy and devoted companion. And please, you need not be so formal.” Tess smiled and blushed, rubbing the back of her mane as she glanced at me. I smiled back at her, then I noticed her expression shift. Her eyes narrowed and her brows furrowed slightly. “Um, Princess, I’m sorry if I sound rude, but you said you were in the neighborhood, right?” The Princess nodded. “Yes, why?” Tess scuffed the floor with a hind hoof and asked, “Well, based on what we’ve learned, shouldn’t… shouldn’t you be asleep?” Princess Luna chuckled. “A wise filly. Yes, I do need my sleep, but special circumstances arose.” I furrowed my brows as Tess and I glanced at each other, then looked back at the Princess. When she saw our expressions, she said, “Allow me to explain. While I can enter dreams of my own accord, on rare occasions, I am drawn to other ponies’ dreams through my own. In this case, an unconscious young colt was fighting for his life—” My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “—but I was able to assist his dream spirit long enough that he could take the reins and gain consciousness once again on his own.” I gasped, then coughed as I choked on the tube. “Princess, are you saying you helped that colt down the hall?!” I saw a faint blush appear on the Princess’s cheeks. She nodded and said, “Indeed I did, Crimson. I generally speak not of these occasions because they are exceedingly rare. I am quite saddened that I was not drawn to either of your friends before their passings. Based on what I have seen in your dreams—” When I looked down and away from her, Princess Luna stopped herself. “I apologize, Crimson. I shall say no more on this matter, if you prefer.” I took a deep breath before I responded, “Yeah, if you don’t mind…” Then I thought of something. “Wait… so, if you were with the other colt in his dream, how did you end up here?” The Princess’s eyes brightened as she said, “Ah, yes. You see, before I left the young colt’s dream, I could sense high tension elsewhere on this floor, and not the usual tension that is present in a hospital. I left the dream, awoke, and teleported myself outside the colt’s window. When I discovered the stress was coming from your direction, I cast my invisibility spell and flew to your window, just in time to see young Tesla revive your father.” She turned to Tess and continued, “I congratulate you on your cutie mark, young filly. You should be very proud of yourself.” Tess just blushed again, then Princess Luna turned back to me. “I teleported through the window as your nurse wheeled your father away. Maintaining invisibility in the process is no easy feat.” The Princess puffed her chest out with a smirk. I saw Tess’s eyes widen as the Princess spoke about the spells she used, when I remembered something. “But Princess, I haven’t been in here the whole time. Were you sitting in here when I was gone?” The Princess shrugged. “‘Twas rather interesting to pony watch through your window, since it is not dark enough to see my stars yet. I allowed Tesla her space, as we had not been introduced. Now that we have, back to the matter at hoof— you, and your father.” I felt my eyes practically bulge as I let out a huge gasp, eliciting a coughing fit. I steadied myself, then asked her, “Are you gonna go help my dad, too?” I held my breath. The Princess smiled. “I will do what I can. Based on what I know, I doubt your father needs much assistance, but a little reminder of what he fights for never hurts. You, in the meanwhile, need to rest.” She turned to Tess and said, “I am sorry for stealing your companion away to dreamland, but right now, sleep is crucial.” Tess nodded. “Now, I see you are sporting a new addition to your medical equipment. Would you like some assistance dozing off?” I smiled back at her. “Sure! This tube is so uncomfortable.” “Hopefully you will get used to it in time.” Princess Luna turned to Tess and said, “Tesla, I must return to my chambers if I am to be successful in this endeavor. I trust you will keep an eye on Crimson after I leave?” Tess nodded and responded, “Of course!” The Princess smiled. “Wonderful.” At that moment, I noticed the Princess’s horn glowing light blue, then I saw the same color surround my head. “What’s this?” “‘Tis a mild sleeping spell, only meant to induce sleep, not prolong it.” I could feel my eyelids drooping, but not much more than that. “I think one other thing would help.” As the Princess approached my bed and sat on her haunches, I gave Tess a little wave, and she smiled back at me. Before I knew it, a melodic voice slowly lulled me to sleep. ♫ “Come little Crimson, I’ll take thee away into a land of enchantment.♩ ♩Come little Crimson, the time’s come to play here in my garden of shadows…” ♫ Little? Who’re you calling— eh, it’s Princess Luna. She can call me whatever she wants… zzzzzzzz… > Chapter 34: Times Shared > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Come on, Dad! We’ve played this boss before! How many times have we beaten him?” “Cut me some slack, Champ! It’s not always as easy as it looks!” I sat on a pillow in front of the TV, Dad right by my side. We’d beaten the Reaper before, but every now and then he gave us some trouble. This seemed to be one of those times. I could hear breathing behind us, but I’d learned to drown Mom out ages ago, especially when it came to boss battles. “Dad, he got me! You’ve gotta take it from here!” “Okay buddy, but I’m cutting it mighty close!” I watched the TV as Dad continued with the battle. The breathing behind me became labored; that wasn’t the kind of sound I usually heard from Mom when Dad and I were playing games, but I ignored it. I just cheered him on. “Come on! You’ve got enough life left in your bar! We’ve almost got ‘im…” “Come on, c’mon c’mon c’mon…” Dad continued to button-mash while I laid next to him. Whenever we got to points like this, he always became really serious. He treated them like life-or-death situations, but even I knew it was only a game. I think he just didn’t want to disappoint me. “Dad, that’s it! He’s flashing red! You’ve almost won!” I pointed at the screen and started bouncing on my belly. For a second, the walls looked like they were dissolving away, but I didn’t pay attention— my eyes stayed fixed on the TV screen. “Hold on, buddy, don’t get ahead of yourself. There are still a few more hits to go!” Dad said. I stared at the screen, watching as Dad maneuvered around scythes, jumping and rolling in all directions. When he got close to the Reaper, he was almost sliced in half, but one final dodge allowed him to get low and buck the Reaper right in the jaw. As the skeleton collapsed into a pile of bones, Dad and I high-hoofed. “See? I knew you could do it!” I shouted. “Yeah, your old stallion’s still got it!” Dad replied. The two of us glanced at the corner of the screen, which now said, ‘Loading Final Level’, along with the spinning medallion. I said, “Alright, now we get to play together again! Let’s kick flank!” Dad sighed and responded, “Not right now, Champ. Your mother would have my head if she knew I let you stay up this late. You need to hit the hay. You can finish the game in the morning.” With that, I heard a deep breath as I groaned and looked at the TV. Getting a look at the faded reflection in the dark screen, I caught a glimpse of a pair of extended wings and a dark, flowing mane. I squinted at the glass, not sure if I had seen what I thought I saw. Before I had a chance to turn around and look, Dad caught my attention by clearing his throat. He slowly walked to the TV and turned it off, leaving the system on. “Come on, Crimson, go to bed.” “But I want to play with you. I do so much better when we play co-op,” I complained. “You’re gonna be busy in the morning.” “I know it seems easier when we play together; I like it better that way, too. But if I can’t play with you, I’m sure you could win by yourself.” He sighed and smiled in response to my glare. “But Dad, that final boss is so tricky! You’re much better at fighting him than me, and the two of us together are practically unstoppable!” “Hey, at some point you’re going to have to figure out how to play single-player. I won’t always be here to play with you.” “But I don’t get it! How come you’re still so busy? You retired!” I exclaimed. “You should have a bunch of time to play.” Dad sighed and shook his head. “That… that’s not what I mean, buddy. Having time to play now isn’t the problem. There are other things I need to take care of now. I’m worried about the future. Your future.” “Ah, like father, like son.” When I heard that faint voice, all my attention went from my father’s downcast eyes to the space behind the couch, then I saw a blinding light. I bolted upright in my bed and immediately felt a tug in my chest, like somepony was trying to pull my lungs out through my nose. As a reflex, I swallowed, and when my throat tightened around the tube again, I realized I almost jerked it out. Breathing deeply, I laid back down against my pillow. “Whoops! Sorry, Sweetheart! I didn’t think I was poking you that hard.” Gramma said, leaning on the bed railing. “Sorry to wake you, but I thought you’d want to hear the good news.” I rubbed my eyes and simply asked, “What?” Mom was on the other side of my bed, smiling. “Dad’s surgery is over. He’s asleep in the Recovery Room.” My eyes dilated. “So he’s—” “He’s fine. The surgery went just fine,” Mom answered. I took a few deep breaths, then closed my eyes and sank into my pillow. Aside from the tube jammed up my nose, I actually felt alright. I realized that hearing good news can make you feel as good as taking a nap, and I had just done both of those. When I opened my eyes again, I noticed something on the wall that made me break out in a big grin. “Just saw it now, huh?” Mom asked. Starry’s painting of Princess Luna and me hung in its proper place on the opposite wall. A new gold-colored, ornate frame held it in place, giving it a regal look. “They called me while you were asleep— did the job pretty quickly. They offered to bring it over themselves, so I thought you might like to have it back up on the wall.” I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, Mom.” “You’re welcome, sweetie. You didn’t happen to see the artist, too, did you?” At that moment, Starry’s head popped up at the bottom of my bed, followed by Tesla’s. “Hey, dude!” Starry piped up. “You feelin’ okay? Other than that fun-lookin’ tube up your schnozz?” I smiled at him and responded, “Hey!” I glanced at Tess and smirked. “Well, at least one of you isn’t shy about the tube.” Tess just shrugged. “Yeah, I’m doin’ alright. Definitely could be better, but I guess I just have to deal for now. When did you get here, Starry?” Starry glanced at the clock. “Eh, about fifteen minutes ago. Tess came and got me— said you weren’t feelin’ too hot and might need a little extra support. I can kinda see why; sounds like a lot happened since Friday. She gave me the gist on the way in.” I sighed. “Yeah… ‘a lot’ is right. I don’t think I can go through it all right now.” I looked across the room, then leaned forward and whispered, “Did Tess tell you I got another visit?” Starry turned and glared at her. “Yeah… lucky. I can’t believe you got to meet her, too!” I turned to Tess and said, “Speaking of which, she did leave you to watch m—” Tess cut me off. “Oh, believe me, I didn’t go anywhere until your mom came back. Are you kidding? I was afraid to go to the bathroom!” “Yeah. Guess she has to wait to do that at home,” Starry snickered. Tess kicked him in the shoulder. She glared at him and answered, “That wasn’t exactly the first thing on my mind, you know! Your mom knows where you are now; I wanted to stop back at my place and tell my parents that I was coming back here! I figured— oh, just shut up!” Starry chuckled as Tess rolled her eyes. I heard Mom and Gramma titter at the door before Mom said, “Sweetie? Your Gramma and I are going to go check on your father. We just wanted to come back and let you know how he was doing. You’ve got Starry and Tesla here— will you be alright without us?” After catching my breath from laughing at Starry getting pummeled, I answered her, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Tell Dad I said hi, would you?” “Absolutely, dear,” Gramma responded with a smile. As the two of them started walking out, my stomach rumbled, so I shouted, “Wait!” When they turned back around, I asked, “Could you ask High Flyer when they’re bringing dinner around?” Mom and Gramma looked at each other and frowned. Then Mom turned to me and said, “Sweetie, you aren’t allowed to eat now, remember?” I reached up and felt the tube in my nose, then followed it to the wall where green gunk dripped from its other end into a glass jar. I narrowed my eyes, stared at the jar, and replied, “Oh. Yeah. Shoot…” Mom sighed. “I’m sorry, sweetie. When the doctors say you can eat again, I’ll get you whatever you want.” I guess I had to settle for that. I couldn’t go see Dad myself, either, so I had to take what I could get. “We’ll be back in a little while, okay?” I returned the sigh. “Okay. Tell Dad to feel better quick.” Mom smiled. “Will do, honey.” The moment the two of them walked out the door, my stomach growled again. I glared at my belly, then put my head in my hooves and looked at Starry and Tess. “Well, that sucks.” > Chapter 35: Times Missed > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tesla, Starry, and I sat and talked for a little while after Mom and Gramma left. Starry did a fair amount of the talking. It certainly helped distract me from the hunger. “Gotta admit, Tess, Crimson’s nurse is right— if you’re gonna get your cutie mark, saving somepony’s life is definitely the way to go about it. Sucks that it had to happen that way, but it’s still pretty cool, huh?” Tess shrugged and looked back at her flank. “Yeah, I guess so. Of course I’m excited about it, but I still kinda feel bad… It all happened so fast.” She glanced down at the floor and fell silent. Starry cleared his throat and turned to me. “Um, so yeah, Crimson, I’m sorry I haven’t been here that much. I… it’s been kinda… well, weird for me.” My brows furrowed at the comment. “Huh? How so?” Tess looked his way and made the same expression. Starry sighed and scuffed the floor a few times, shifting his gaze between me and Tesla. “Well, ever since you two… like… opened up to each other, I’ve been trying to give you guys some space. I’ve missed hangin’ out with you both, but I… I kinda feel like a third wheel or something.” Tesla and I looked at each other for a moment before we both smirked. I said, “Wait, last I heard from Tess, she said you were busy with a lot of painting…” Tess nodded and continued, “Yeah! Have you been coming up with stuff to do so you have something to pass the time while you leave us alone?” Starry shrugged. “Well, yes and no. I’ve been working on my paintings because I like making them, but I also made a separate list of ideas. That way, if I finished something sooner than I expected, I could move right on to another one and leave you two alone. I got into a rhythm at some point, and I just didn’t stop. That’s why I kept saying I was busy; when I got into a groove, I didn’t really wanna lose it.” He sighed wistfully. “Seeing you two on your birthday was really nice, Crimson. It’d been way too long.” Tess and I both nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I know Tess sees you at school, but the three of us hadn’t really hung out together for a while. This is only the second time in what— like, two months?” Starry frowned and hung his head. “Probably, if not more.” He sighed. “I like painting, but you guys have no idea how much I’ve missed this. I mean, it sucks that your dad getting sick is what brought us together this time, but still…” While Starry continued staring at the floor, Tess and I looked at each other again. I smirked at her, glanced at Starry, then patted the top of my sheets. Tess understood pretty quickly and smiled back at me. Sneaking behind Starry, she ducked underneath him and flipped him up onto my mattress, then followed him over the foot of the bed. Landing unexpectedly on his rump on top of my bed, Starry asked, “Hey! What was that about?” Tess and I smiled at each other again, then simultaneously pulled him into a three-way hug. I started, “Starry, we’ve been a trio for as long as I can remember. That doesn’t have to stop. You shouldn’t feel the need to leave us alone unless we ask you to.” I looked at Tess. “Right?” Tess looked at him and simply said, “Right.” Starry looked between the two of us and pulled us in for another hug. When I noticed a shimmer in his eye, he said, “Thanks, guys. I’m sorry about all this.” I shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, dude. You didn’t do anything wrong.” At that moment, I heard Tesla give a loud sigh. I turned to her and asked, “What’s up?” Tess shook her head, then paused for a moment before she said, “Nothing, really. It’s just…” Another pause. “Why is it that when Starry and I have come here to support you, you’re the one that seems to be making us feel better?” After a lively debate with Starry and Tesla about who seemed to be making whom feel better, my stomach rumbled again. I knew I wasn’t allowed to eat, which bothered me, but it did remind Starry and Tess that they hadn’t had dinner either. Upon hearing that, I shooed them out, assuring them that if I needed anything I could call High Flyer. As if on cue, High Flyer knocked on my door and came into my room just as Starry and Tess walked out. He held something under his wing. “Good timing! I kind of wanted to give this to you when it was quiet,” High Flyer said as he approached my bed. “What is it?” I asked. High Flyer took a quick breath and continued, “Well, if what I remember about stent insertion surgery is correct, when he gets out of recovery, your father isn’t going to be allowed out of his room for some time. While you were asleep during your dad’s surgery, I spoke with your mom. I’d seen her using her computer to chat with her students. Luckily for us, we have a couple of laptops here in the hospital that some of the older patients are allowed to use.” He opened his wing and set a computer on my bed. “I discovered that they can run the same video program your mom uses, so I installed the program and saved the information for your mother’s computer.” My eyes lit up. “Does that mean…?” High Flyer smiled. “If your mom is over in your dad’s room with her computer, and you’ve got this laptop here, you should be able to speak with your dad face-to-face, even if you can’t be in the same room together.” > Chapter 36: Distractions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So buddy, how’s the new stuff treating you? Other than the obvious, I guess, but you’ve been used to that for a little while, so I can’t imagine that’s a huge problem.” I watched through the screen as Dad rubbed his head in a circular motion. The new chemo they’ve given me for the past few days made me lose any trace of my mane again, which sucked. It did give me back my lucid dreaming cue, but I wasn’t able to do much of that, either. Any sleep I managed to get was pretty crummy; I kept getting woken up to have my temperature and blood pressure taken, or other hospital stuff done to me— such a hassle. A good night’s sleep was next to impossible, and my attitude reflected it. “Not great,” I answered him. “I mean, I guess I’ve finally gotten used to the tube, but it wasn’t easy. Now I’m just tired, I’m hungry, and I never wanna really do anything… even though I wanna do something…” Dad pointed a hoof at the screen. “You’ve got a bunch of games in there that I brought for you before I ended up over here! Surely there’s something you can think of to do! I know you like playing with me on a bunch of those, but I can’t always be there to play multiplayer. Single-player can be just as fun!” I thought about those words for a second, but only until Gramma pushed her head into the picture; whenever Dad and I chatted, Mom went over to him with her laptop and Gramma stayed with me. “That’s not what he means, dear— don’t you remember? He wants to do something, but he doesn’t want to do anything.” Dad’s mouth opened and he simply said, “Oooooh.” He nodded and said, “Right, I remember. I’m sorry, Champ. I hate seeing you like that— it makes me feel so helpless. I’m really sorry I can’t be over there with you right now, but they won’t let me out of here. They say it’s too soon for me to leave my room.” I groaned. “I know, it’s the only thing they ever say. Why won’t they tell you anything else?” Mom and Dad keep saying the doctors aren’t telling them much— they just have him on ‘observation.’ “They won’t let me leave, either, not with this stupid tube in… not like I feel like getting up anyway. And playing board games and cards with Gramma has gotten boring— no offense, Gram.” Gramma shook her head. “None taken, sweetheart. From what I’ve seen the past few days, along with what you’ve told me, I’d likely be tired of playing, too.” At that moment, I heard another voice from the other side of the screen. Then Dad said, “I’m sorry, buddy, looks like I’ve gotta go. One of the other doctors is here to talk to me. I think I’m gonna keep your mom with me, too. Always good to have a second pair of ears around.” I nodded. “Okay, Pop. Talk to you later. Feel better.” Dad smiled. “Thanks, Champ. You too.” Both of us hit a button on our respective sides of our screens and I shut the laptop. “So what’s the deal with the chemo, dude? Is it doing its job?” “Hasn’t been long enough. They said they’re gonna finish this first round, then send me in for a test to see if it’s doing anything.” “Anything I— we can do?” Tess asked. “Just chillin’ is fine. I need a distraction more than anything else.” Tess had come by as usual, and she brought Starry with her. Starry said he would make a point to visit more often, but it was still the first time he had come by since Dad’s heart attack. I hadn’t expected him to come every day like Tess did, but I think he’s still holding some of that ‘third wheel’ mentality. “Hey guys, I’m gonna head out. I’m almost done with my latest, and my mom yelled at me to go to sleep last night before I could finish it. That okay?” I nodded. “S’all good, dude. Go ahead— I’ll talk to you later.” Yeah, he’s trying to leave Tess and me alone again. The door slid shut before Tess could protest, so she just sighed and climbed up on my bed with me. “He just won’t get it through his head, will he?” I chuckled, “Probably not, but I won’t say it’s not nice having some alone time.” I smiled at her and leaned back against my pillow. Tess smiled back and snuggled into my wing. “Agreed.” As I laid on my bed with a wing around her, Tess’s smile faded into a frown. I asked her, “Everything okay?” She sighed. “Yeah, I guess. It’s just that… some of the stuff your mom’s said…” I let out a little huff. “You’re not still mad at her, are you? I thought you’d gotten over all that.” She nodded and looked over at me as she said, “Well, that’s the thing— I did, and I get it. But… I can’t really get over it. What you and your mom said finally sunk in. I know you’re fighting really hard, but…” She sniffed and finished, “…what if something does happen? I wanna— what’s the word Miss Turner said? Carpidum?” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You mean ‘carpe diem’? ‘Seize the day’?” I put my hoof around her shoulder. “Well, that’s why you’re here now. Seize away.” I rested my head on hers and pulled her in tighter, then closed my eyes as I let out a sigh. I felt her hoof wrap around my torso, and I let it lay there. “Believe me, you’re not the only one.” When I glanced at the door for a moment, I saw shades of yellow and purple quickly vanish from the glass, and I smiled. Spies... “Well, this is a little more like it; good to see I can still walk. I guess I just have to deal with the tug from the tube, but at least I made it over here.” I smiled a little as I looked through the eyepiece of my telescope. It had been a few days—right around when they started the new chemo—since I had gotten out of bed, so I finally worked up the strength to do it. It looked clear enough outside to get a good view of the stars, so I figured tonight was my chance. I had the usual bag on the pole, but the tube was just long enough that I could make it to my telescope. I just had to deal with my nose being attached to the wall, so I shifted it back a little bit. Tesla did keep me distracted for a little while, but eventually she went home. When she did, Mom and Gramma came in about ten minutes later. I called them out for spying on me, and they didn’t deny it. Mom went over to hang with Dad, so Gramma helped me out of bed and led me over to my telescope. “It’s good to see you smiling, sweetheart. We don’t get to see much of that during the day, except when Tesla and Starry are here, of course.” Gramma sat next to me while I peered through my telescope to get a look at Princess Luna’s latest work, with that small tug still on my nose. “You’ve been going through so much, and I know you have plenty of reasons not to, but I do love it when you smile.” She gently pressed a hoof into my cheek. “I’m sure Tesla does, too.” I leaned back and tilted my head toward her, as much as the tube would allow, so she could see my face. I honestly did find it hard to smile lately, and not just physically, especially when I wasn’t being distracted by anything. Even with all the stuff available to me—TV, video games, puzzles, books—real distractions were hard to come by with everything I’d had to deal with recently. The only things that really distracted me lately were Starry, Tess, and Dad, but particularly the night sky, even if I wasn’t using my telescope. It always made me think of Princess Luna, and the times I would get to talk with her. When I finally felt well enough to stand up and walk to my telescope, despite the fact that I was still attached to a pole and stuck to the wall by my nose, I actually felt some sense of freedom. The huge openness above and the possibilities of what could be out there pushed any other thoughts from my mind, and I actually felt… normal. > Chapter 37: Challenges > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I woke up the next morning, the sun shone through my window, and I could hear the birds chirping outside. It wasn’t anything new, but it just felt nicer than usual for some reason. Mom sat by the window, looking out at the town. “Morning, Mom,” I said. She turned around and replied, “Good morning, Crimson. Did you sleep well?” “Yeah, I guess. I don’t really remember much, but that’s nothing unusual.” When I didn’t see anypony else, I asked Mom, “Hey, where’s Gramma?” “She is with your father. She will likely be back shortly.” I shrugged. “Okay.” As if on cue, Gramma knocked on the door and poked her head in. “Crimson? Would it be alright if you had a visitor?” I raised a brow. “Uh, sure. Who is it?” Gramma smiled and held the door open. When a blue wing pushed an IV pole through, I almost exploded. “DAD!” He smiled as he walked toward my bed. “Hey, Champ. They finally let me out of my room. How are you doing in here?” “Great now!” I sat up and gave him a hug when he got close enough. “Haha, good to hear, buddy.” He ruffled my mane and asked, “Chemo treating you alright?” I sighed. “Yeah, I guess. It’s still annoying, but not horrible. I—” For some reason, at that moment, something just felt… off. “Everything okay, buddy?” I looked at Dad and answered, “…Yeah, but something…” I rubbed the back of my mane and looked around before— My mane. I put my other hoof on top of my head— a full mane of hair. That shouldn’t be there… I glanced around for a moment, then I heard a soft thunk from a dark corner of the room. When I turned to look, there appeared to be a shadow hiding in it. “…Princess? Princess Luna, is that you?” I heard a deep sigh, then Princess Luna strode out of the darkness, shaking her head and muttering to herself. “How could We forget? We knew that was his cue…” I certainly wasn’t expecting it, but it was still great to see her. “My apologies, Crimson.” She sighed again and put a hoof on my mane. “I cannot believe I forgot such an important detail.” I cocked a brow at her. “What do you mean?” The Princess answered, “Well, of all the things I’ve manipulated in your dreamscape tonight, I neglected to remove your lucidity cue. If I was to—” “Wait— manipulated?” I interrupted. “Indeed,” she answered. “You are now aware you are dreaming, correct?” I nodded. “With everything you’ve had to endure the past few days, I thought a pleasant dream was overdue. What you see around you is my doing.” “Oooh…” I looked at Gramma, Mom and Dad. “So they’re—” “Figments of my creation, based on what I have seen in your previous dreams,” she explained. “I fear I made your mother too formal, though it matters not. You are already lucid. Perhaps I should not have meddled, and let your dreamscape perform on its own.” “It’s okay,” I answered. “Thanks for trying. I definitely could use a good dream, with everything that’s going on. Either way, it’s great to see you!” I smiled at her. “Likewise, Crimson. You truly are a resilient colt— despite your own trials, coupled with the stresses of your father’s condition, you still persevere and fight a good fight. Your strength and courage are astounding.” I blushed and rubbed the back of my mane, while I still had it. “Thanks. I’m… doing what I can. You’re right, it’s been tough.” “All the more reason your dreams should be pleasant. Perhaps you would like to take over?” Princess Luna gestured to my parents and Gramma, who were staring at me, as if awaiting some kind of instruction. I glanced between them all, then back to the Princess before I said, “Uuuuh… sure, I guess. I wanna try something first, though.” I closed my eyes and concentrated, then after a minute or so, wiped a hoof across my empty nostrils and smiled. “Ahh, that’s better. I can’t believe that worked!” She nodded. “Ah yes, comfort first. I attempted to keep this as realistic as possible to avoid suspicion, but you’ve already seen through my ruse. I see you have acquired some manipulation skills of your own— impressive.” I smiled at her and replied, “Thanks! I guess I’m alright with things, but I’m not that good with ponies. I haven’t had much of a chance to practice lately.” I glanced at the Princess’s figments of my parents and Gramma, still staring at me. I turned to her and started, “Could you—” “Certainly. Obtaining control of another’s figments is difficult. Perhaps it would be best to—” “Actually,” I interrupted her again, “if you were gonna be here anyway…” I closed my eyes and concentrated again. When I opened them, I smiled at the object in my hoof. I held up the box to Princess Luna and asked, “Do you play cards?” She chuckled. “I have triumphed in numerous games of Hearts against my fellow princesses— as well as Discord, and he is a horrible cheater.” I smirked and cocked a brow. “Challenge accepted.” “Uh, Princess, I hope this isn’t insulting in any way, but…” I laid out all the hearts and the queen of spades. “…I just shot the moon.” Princess Luna laughed. “‘Tis a joke Discord does not tire of. And your father broke one hundred, so you win. You are a formidable opponent, Crimson Star.” She tapped her chin. “I believe you would make for a fantastic Spades partner.” She looked out the window, then said, “This has been quite enjoyable, Crimson. It has been a while since I have partaken in such entertainment. I thank you for the invitation, but I must take my leave now.” I nodded and answered, “Okay. Will I see you soon? We can have another card game— maybe we could even have one when I’m awake!” She raised her brows and said, “Perhaps. We shall see. Give your family my regards, Crimson. Until next time.” With a smile and a flash of light, Princess Luna vanished, and I found myself laying on my back, the tube back in my nose. I glanced around the room and saw Mom and Gramma at the window. When I sat up, Mom turned toward me and said, “Morning, sweetie. Good timing— I was about to head over to see your father. Do you want me to ask High Flyer for the laptop?” I put my hoof on top of my head to make sure—no mane—then answered, “Morning, Mom. Yeah, sure. I wanna tell Dad something.” I smirked. “Alright. I’ll be back later. High Flyer should be here in a few minutes.” As Mom walked out, I couldn’t help but chuckle. “What’s so funny?” Gramma asked me. “Apparently Princess Luna doesn’t think Dad’s a very good card player,” I answered. When she cocked a brow at me, I said, “You’ll understand in a minute.” High Flyer then came through the door. “G’morning, Crimson. Your mom had good timing— I just got back to my station when she asked me for the computer. Looking to talk to your dad, I assume?” “Yep,” I said. “I have a funny story to tell him.” High Flyer smiled. “Sounds good to me. Here, I’ll set you up.” He set the computer on my rolling table and fiddled with it for a minute, then moved the table in front of me and put it at my eye level. I saw the little window with Mom’s name and the empty bubble next to it. “Looks like your mom’s not set up yet. Just give it a minute. You all good?” “Yeah. Thanks, High Flyer. I’ll call you when I’m done.” “Sounds like a plan,” he said. “You know, you can hold on to the computer when you’re done if you want to play some games.” “Maybe, I’ll see. Thanks!” “No problem, buddy.” He smiled again and walked out. As I waited for the little green check mark to appear next to Mom’s name, I called over to Gramma, “Hey Gram, you wanna talk to Dad, too?” She chuckled. “Of course! I also want to hear this little story you have to tell.” She pulled a chair up next to my bed and sat down. “Oh, right. Hey, there he is!” The little mark had turned green. I was about to hit the button when Gramma said, “Why don’t you let your father start the call, sweetheart? That way we know he’s ready. Just be patient, okay?” “Yeah, okay.” I didn’t really want to wait, but she did have a point. After a couple of minutes, the computer finally started ringing. It didn’t take me long to hit the button and find Dad’s face on the other side of the screen. “Mornin’, Champ! Sorry I took so long— Dr. Osis had to talk to your mom and me. I hear you’ve got something to tell me— what’s up?” he asked, letting out a cough. I smirked. “Well, somepony thinks that I’m better than you at cards.” Dad laughed, “Haha, oh really?” He took a deep breath, then looked at Gramma, who had brought her head into the picture. “I don’t think your grandmother has the authority to make that judgement, buddy. Sorry, Ma.” “No, not me,” Gramma said with a laugh, shaking her head. “I know better.” “Oh? Then whom?” Dad asked with a cocked brow. I grinned from ear to ear. “Guess who I played cards with in a dream last night.” > Chapter 38: Out of the Loop > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Okay, I admit, that’s a pretty high authority. Maybe we need to have a real game so the Princess can judge me properly,” Dad said. “We’d need a good fourth for a game of Spades, though. Last I checked, your mother doesn’t know how to play.” He turned his head to the left, then shifted the computer so Mom appeared on the screen. She simply smiled and shook her head. He turned the computer back and looked through the screen before he asked, “Hey Ma, you ever played?” Gramma shook her head and chuckled. “Sorry, hon— Rummy is my specialty. I believe Crimson and I are tied in that department, but he had a good hundred points on me last time we played.” She poked me in the ribs. “You and those aces— I think you rigged that deck.” I giggled and replied, “Hey, you saw me shuffle! Besides, you dealt!” Gramma scratched her chin. “Hmm... good point. Either way, for a royal game of Spades, I’m not a wise fourth.” “Eh, we’ll figure it out,” I said. “Mr. Dasher, I need to speak with you.” “Huh? Who’s that?” It didn’t sound like Dad. “Sorry buddy, Dr. Osis just walked in. Looks like he needs to talk to me. I’m gonna turn the sound off for just a minute, okay? I’ll be right back,” Dad responded. “Oh… okay.” I saw Dad look away from the screen, and when he spoke, no sound came from the laptop. “Oh, he turned his mic off, too. What are they talking about?” I looked at Gramma. “I’m not sure, Sweetheart. I’m sure he’ll tell us when the doctor is finished speaking with him,” she said. I was never that good at lip-reading— I tried to figure out what Dad was saying, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of anything. His frown told me he didn’t like whatever the doctor had said, though. Eventually, he made a slow nod, then his gaze shifted from one side of his room to the other. He looked down and shook his head, then turned back to the screen. “Hey, buddy.” The sound had come back on. “Dad, you okay?” I asked. “You don’t look very happy.” “No, not really, Champ. Looks like I’m going back into surgery in a little bit.” My eyes bulged. “AGAIN? Why?” “Well, I had another echo just before your mom got here,” Dad answered. “Long story short, the stent they put in a few days ago isn’t working like the doctors hoped. There’s still some pretty major blockage.” He sighed. “They’re going to try something else, but it’s risky. I have to talk to your mom before I go in, so I need to sign off. She’ll explain everything to you later.” I sighed. I wasn’t happy about it, but he’d made it through the first surgery— he’d make it through this one, too. “Hey Dad, before you go, can I just tell you something?” “Sure, buddy. Anything.” “Well, I think Princess Luna helped you through your first surgery— she told me she would try, and I think she did. Maybe she’ll do it again!” Dad smiled. “I hope so, buddy. Princess Luna has done a lot for us; maybe she’ll come through again. But in case something happens, I need to tell you something.” “What’s up, Pop?” “You are, without a doubt, the most incredible colt I’ve ever seen. You’ve been through so much, and have come out stronger every time. You have an abundance of strength in yourself, more than you can imagine. Where it comes from doesn’t matter, but I don’t want you to ever doubt it. You have enough spirit for ten colts, if not more. Just remember, that even if I’m gone, I will always be with you— in here.” He tapped his chest, and I saw a tear streak down his cheek. “I love you, Champ. I always have, and I always will.” I could feel my eyes watering. “I… I love you too, Dad.” He smiled. “See you later, buddy.” Before I could answer, the screen went dark. “I can’t believe we have to just sit around and wait like this! They really oughta have a way to give us some mid-procedure updates!” “Now sweetie, you know that’s impossible. The room needs to be sterile, and only the necessary ponies are allowed in the operating room,” Mom said. Groaning, I said, “Of course I know that. I just hate waiting!” “Believe me, sweetie, me too,” Mom responded. We’d been waiting in my room for about an hour. Starry and Tess were still in school, so Mom, Gramma and I had to just sit there and wait. I couldn’t fall asleep, and I didn’t feel like playing anything to pass the time. I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t circle back around to Dad, so I kept my mouth shut. I kept hearing those last words he’d said, but I didn’t want to. They sounded like defeat—like Dad had accepted it—but he wasn’t like that! Dad never gave up— if he was gonna go down, he’d go down fighting. But… I just couldn’t stand the torture of not knowing. Then I thought of something else I didn’t know. I looked over at Mom. “What did you two talk about?” She tilted her head at me. “I’m sorry?” “Dad said he had to talk to you before he went into surgery. What did you talk about?” I asked her. Mom let out a breath that she seemed to be holding in. “Well, sweetie, quite a few things in not a lot of time, but we had to make sure we had confirmed everything in your father’s will.” “His will?” “Yes sweetie, his last will and—” “I know what it is, Mom! Why would you just assume he’s not going to make it?” She sighed. “Well sweetie, the truth is, your father and I have known that he’s been having heart problems for some time now. His symptoms became worse around your birthday— that’s why he was going downstairs to his doctor so frequently.” “Why the hay didn’t you tell me?” I cried. “Because you’ve been going through so much as it is right now, honey. We didn’t want to add something else to stress you out,” she explained. “And you think it’s not doing that right now?” She sighed. “I’m sorry, sweetie. We thought it was for the best— we hoped that whatever was going on with your father could be taken care of, at least temporarily. We didn’t expect this to happen. We hoped we wouldn’t need to tell you until after you felt better, if at all. Obviously we were wrong.” She looked at the floor and shook her head. “Damn right!” I groaned and put my head in my hooves. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I lifted my head and looked at Gramma. “Did you know, too?” She frowned and nodded. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart. Your parents asked me not to tell you, and I agreed that it would just be more stress on you.” I sighed and buried my face in my forehooves. I couldn’t believe they would keep something like this from me, but even so, I refused to give up hope. Even if she didn’t have power over death, Princess Luna would find a way to help. She did it the first time— she would do it again! Mom and Gramma both came up alongside my bed and hugged me. “We really are sorry, sweetie. Please forgive us— we didn’t want to scare you. We aren’t assuming he’s not going to make it— we just wanted to be prepared, that’s all.” I let out a huff. “That doesn’t really help much, Mom.” She sighed in return. “I’m sorry, sweetie. There’s not really much else I can say.” “Fine. Then just leave me alone,” I said. “O… Okay.” She motioned to Gramma and the two of them went to sit by the window. After they sat down, nopony made any noise. We just continued waiting. About two hours later, there were a few slow knocks at my door. The three of us looked toward it to see Dr. Osis opening it. The smile we hoped to find on his face wasn’t there. He approached my bed and paused; he opened his mouth, but no words came out for a second. “The… The operation did not go as we hoped. We wanted to try an alternative to the stent, but we had to remove it first. The process caused… complications, and he… he didn’t make it. His artery—” He looked around at the three of us. “Perhaps you want to hear the details later?” I dug my face back into my hooves and nodded. “Alright. There’s one other thing, though.” I looked barely over the top of my foreleg as he lit up his horn. “Crimson, I found this on the operating table while we were cleaning up.” His aura surrounded his coat pocket. Out of it and into my hooves came one of Dad’s royal blue feathers, not a barb out of place. “I thought you would want to have it. There really isn’t much I can say to make this situation any easier for any of you, but I am so, so sorry. Good luck with your treatment, Crimson. Stay strong for your father.” He turned around and walked out the door. I heard him sigh again before it closed, then I looked at the feather in my hoof— the last piece of my father I had left. And I broke. > Chapter 39: Shock > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I sat in a chair next to the wall as one of the laundry ponies changed my sheets. High Flyer stood in front of me, wiping away the leftover mucus under the NG tube. He had come in to take my vitals— when my pulse came back almost off the chart, he didn’t say anything. He just nodded. “Do you want some ice chips, buddy?” “C-Can’t I just have a bit of water? I’d just c-crush the ice chips anyway…” “Sorry bud, you know the drill. Ice chips only.” I sighed. “F-Fine. I’ll have some.” High Flyer let out a long breath. “Crimson, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry.” He got up and started for the door. “I’ll be right back.” The laundry mare finished up and helped me back into bed. “I’m so sorry, honey.” I had a feeling I’d be hearing a lot of that in the next few days. A minute later, I heard the creak of the door opening, but it stopped halfway. A voice outside my door spoke, then I heard a couple of gasps. High Flyer walked in with a cup. “Here are your chips, buddy. I hope they help your throat. It looks like you’ve at least gotten used to it normally, but crying with an NG tube can hurt, so I’ve been told.” He walked toward the door, and before he left, he asked, “You’re welcome to say no, but are you up for visitors?” I had a pretty good idea who he was talking about, so I just nodded. He nodded back, then held the door open; they came in as slow as molasses, both of their mouths agape. They got to the foot of my bed and leaned against it. “Is… is it true?” Starry asked. I looked down at my sheets and nodded again. “Oh my gosh… Crimson, I—” Tess looked behind her at her flank for a moment and sighed. Then she looked back at me and shook her head. “I’m so sorry.” Starry nodded his head. Yeah, quite a lot of that. She climbed up onto my bed and made to give me a hug, but I held up a hoof. “You… you might not wanna do that. Y-You’ll prob’ly get wet.” Tess gently pushed my hoof aside and hugged me anyway, and I gladly returned it. Starry came around the other side of my bed, then climbed up and did the same. “Th-Thanks, guys.” I looked at the two of them, and they both nodded. “Hey, where are your mom and grandma?” Tess asked. I sighed. “They… they’re filling out paperwork.” Starry let out a grunt. “Crimson, I’ll be back in a little bit.” “And just where are you going?” Tess asked him. “To tell our parents we’re gonna be here for a while,” he answered, hopping off my bed. “Good,” she said, “because I’m not going anywhere.” “I thought so,” Starry replied before he walked out. The initial shock having finally subsided, I told Starry and Tess what happened once Starry came back— he’d said their parents gave them permission to stay as long as they wanted. I figured I’d throw in my latest encounter with the Princess, too. That at least helped me feel a little bit better. “I tell you, Princess Luna sure has good timing,” Starry said. “At least you got to have one more good dream about your dad before he… well, y’know.” “Yeah, I guess that’s true,” I replied. “Even if I knew it wasn’t real, Dad and the Princess in one dream was like winning the lotto.” When I glanced over at Tess, she had her chin in a hoof, staring at my sheets with her eyes and brows crooked. It was a look I’d seen on her before, so I sighed and asked her, “What’s up? Something’s on your mind, I can tell.” She slowly looked at me, and just as slowly responded, “What if… What if she knew?” Starry and I looked at each other and cocked a brow, then turned back to Tess. I asked the first question on my mind. “Wha— who?” Tess tilted her head and answered, “Princess Luna. Maybe she knew that your dad was…” She stopped herself, but I knew how the sentence would’ve ended. “What… what makes you say that?” I asked her. She lifted her head and dropped her hoof. “Well… think about it. The night before your dad passes away, she comes to give you a nice dream about him being able to come and see you…” “Yeah, so? She’s been visiting Crimson for a while, and she said he was due for a good dream. That could just be a coincidence,” Starry said. “But you told me Princess Luna said she didn’t have power over life and death…” “Okay…” Starry commented. “…When you two had that conversation, the Princess said you had to know that. She also said you would find out why. What if this was why? What if Princess Luna can’t stop death, but she knows when it’s coming? The Princess said she was going to try and help your dad the first time he went into surgery, but what if she knew he wasn’t going to make it? Maybe the Princess could only give him a little extra time, and wanted you to have…” That’s when my gears started turning. “…Just a few more days,” I said. My eyes widened. “Maybe that first time she helped him out, but this time…” I shook my head. It was a little much to take in. “But if she did know, why wouldn’t she tell me?” “Maybe for the same reason as your mom and grandma,” Starry answered. “She didn’t want to make you upset.” I sighed. “True. I guess I’ll have to ask her next time I see her.” “Knowing Princess Luna, that probably won’t be very long. She obviously likes you,” Tess said. “And you’re not jealous?” Starry quipped at her with a smirk. Tess punched him in the shoulder hard enough that he fell off the bed. “Shut up!” At least that got a smile out of me. It was pretty late before Starry and Tess finally went home. Fortunately, their parents had given Starry some snacks for them to eat, so at least they didn’t go hungry. It did kinda bug me when they ate in front of me, but I wasn’t gonna let them starve. “Sweetie… I just don’t know what to say.” Mom sat by my bed, her head resting in her hooves on the mattress. “This really isn’t fair… especially not to you. You shouldn’t have to deal with all this at once.” “You can certainly say that again,” Gramma said from my other side. “No mother should have to lose her son, and no child should have to lose a parent so early.” She put a hoof on my fetlock. “As if your medical treatments weren’t enough.” I just sighed. I didn’t really want to respond. They were both right, but the thought of saying ‘yes’ just… hurt. I think Mom and Gramma both knew that— they seemed to be waiting for a response from me, but not expecting one… “Sweetie, I’m sorry to say, but I’m going to have to fill out some more paperwork tomorrow. Some of the things your father and I discussed have to be written down. Will you be alright with that?” I nodded. “And I’m going to have to confer with some of my colleagues so they can take care of my students. I’m not going back to Baltimare right now, that’s for certain. I’ll just need to take care of that, but I’ll be here as long as we need each other,” Gramma said. “Thank you, Gram,” Mom said. “I think it would be best for us all to be together right now. It’s a bit of a shock for all of us.” I just nodded again. “That said, we ought to at least try and get some sleep.” “Agreed. No guarantee of success, but we ought to try,” Gramma replied. Again, I could only nod. > Chapter 40: Condolences > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I just laid in bed, looking at Mom and Gramma, who slept on the floor by the window. I couldn’t imagine how they managed to sleep at all. Even after keeping my eyes closed for I don’t even know how long, I still couldn’t do it. I just sighed and looked out the window. The clouds covered the entire night sky, so I couldn’t stargaze, and I didn’t want to watch TV. I cradled the blue feather in my wing, turning it over again and again. I figured I was going to be doomed to a boring, depressing, sleepless night… …until she walked out from the corner of the room. She did startle me for a second, but I didn’t say anything. I just looked up at her as she approached my bedside, staring at the feather I held. I could feel the tears falling down my cheek. I didn’t feel like wiping them away, but I didn’t have to— she did it for me. “Crimson, I must offer you my sincerest condolences,” Princess Luna said. “‘Tis not right that you had to lose your father this way. Or this early.” I sniffled. “H-How did you find out?” She sighed. “Well, aside from your demeanor, I just visited your mother.” My eyes widened a bit at that. “She was not aware. I must say, your mother is a very strong mare. Despite your loss, her dreams still hold an air of positivity. She was discussing donating your father’s organs with the doctors.” I managed to smile at that. We’d all agreed we would be organ donors if anything happened to us. I felt glad to hear Mom had already started thinking about others. The Princess continued, “You must pull from her strength, Crimson, as you have been doing. Your mother worries for you even more now. She fears she will lose you as well. She knows you are strong, but loss can weaken one’s emotional strength. You already know that.” I nodded at her. “Fight for your mother. Fight for your friends. And especially fight for your father. He believed you will have a bright future, and he was preparing for it, even if he knew he might not be here to see it unfold.” I stared at her when she made that last comment. “How… How do you know that?” She hesitated before responding. “I shall tell you in time— properly. You won’t have long to wait,” she said. With that, she vanished in a flash. “Princess, wait!” I shouted. I covered my mouth, thinking I might have woken Mom or Gramma, but they just lay there, sleeping. I looked across the room at… an empty wall. Wait a minute, Starry’s painting has— At that moment, the painting appeared out of thin air, right in its proper place. Wait, did I just— Just as I reached for the top of my head, I opened my eyes to daylight. “Morning, sweetie. I’m glad to see you got some rest.” I shook my head, trying to clear it out. I put my hoof on top just to check— nothing. I had a hopeful thought for a second, but when I looked at my side table, the feather was there. Yeah, it had happened. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a dream… “Ugh, I didn’t think we would ever get that finished.” “I know. They act as if you didn’t just lose someone you care about. I’m glad I was able to finalize everything with my colleagues before they called us for the paperwork. I would not have wanted you to take care of it yourself, Harmony. For your own sanity, at the very least.” Mom and Gramma had just come back from finishing the last of the paperwork. I’d just been watching TV for the better part of two hours… holding on to Dad’s feather. “I’m sorry that took so long, sweetie. There was a lot more paperwork than we expected,” Mom said. “The doctors also wanted to talk to us about donating your dad’s organs.” I looked at her for a moment, remembering what Princess Luna had told me in my dream. Gramma managed a small smile and continued, “Maybe you’ll be happy to know that your father is going to help no fewer than five ponies.” I nodded and managed a smile, too. “Yeah, that’s Dad— always thinking of somepony else.” Mom and Gramma nodded back. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Mom looked at me, and I nodded, so she called, “Come in.” “Hey, Crimson,” Starry said as he walked in, Tesla right behind him. I gave them a little wave. “Um, Mrs. Harmony? Would it be okay if we talked to Crimson alone for a bit?” Tess asked her. Mom and Gramma looked at each other for a moment and raised their brows, then they shrugged. “I see no harm in it,” Mom answered. “We’ll go down to the family waiting room, okay sweetie?” “Sure, Mom. Thanks.” After they walked out, I turned to Tess and asked her, “What’s up? Something you don’t want my mom to hear?” She shrugged and said, “Well, maybe.” She turned to Starry and asked, “Could you go get him?” After he nodded and walked out, Tess explained, “We didn’t come alone. Somepony else wanted to come see you, and we didn’t know if your mom would be okay with it.” It took me a second to put the pieces together. Somepony else wanting to see me… My mom possibly not being okay with it… I figured it had to be somepony from school, and when that thought hit home, the gears started turning, and it was at that exact moment that he walked in behind Starry. “He told us about what happened last time he saw you. He didn’t know if you told your mom about it,” Tess said. I looked across the room at the long face of none other than Brick. “Crimson, I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said last time; I hope you don’t think I wanted this to—” I held up a hoof and cut him off. “It… it’s okay, Brick. You were upset; you had every right to be… just like I do now. But I’m not upset at you— just at what happened.” Brick sighed. “Oh, thank Celestia. When I heard Starry and Tesla tell Miss Turner, I… Honestly, I thought it was my fault.” He hung his head for a second, then picked it back up. “I won’t stay too long if you don’t want me to, but I really wanted to come by and say I’m sorry— for everything.” I managed a smile. “Thanks, Brick. By the way, for what it’s worth, I don’t think she’d be upset with you, but I didn’t tell my mom about what happened. Like I said, you had a right to be upset.” Brick smiled back at me. “Thanks, Crimson. Oh, one other thing…” He reached into his saddlebag and pulled out a letter. “This is from Miss Turner. I told her I was coming here, so she asked me to give it to you.” He put the letter on my bed, then headed for the door. “I’m sorry you had to deal with this, too, Crimson. I hope your treatments are going alright— feel better.” With that, he left. I looked at Starry and Tess, who had just stood to the side during our whole exchange. “Did he really think this was his fault?” I asked them. “Oh Celestia, you should’ve seen him, dude,” Starry said. “He looked miserable all day after we told Miss Turner.” “I swear, I thought he was gonna throw up,” Tess added. “I couldn’t believe what he said to you the last time he was here. I wanted to yell at him, but he looked like he was gonna cry. I could tell he was sorry. He only looked a little better when Miss Turner gave him that letter.” I looked at the letter Brick had left. “Yeah, speaking of, why didn’t she give this to you guys?” “She told us she wanted to give it to Brick instead,” Starry said. “She knew we’d be coming either way, but she could tell he needed an excuse to interact with you. Maybe he talked to her about what happened last time— we didn’t see him outside during recess.” “That would make sense,” I said. “Lemme see what she wrote.” I reached for the letter and opened it. Dear Crimson, I am so sorry to hear about your father— Starry and Tesla told me about it this morning. I know they will be seeing you, but Brick wanted to speak with you as well. I gave him this letter for you so he would have a good reason to see you sooner rather than later. He was very upset to hear the news— all of us here are, but Brick seems to have taken it rather hard. It’s likely because of his cousin— he talked to me about it. I won’t go into details for his privacy’s sake, but based on what Brick told me, I have a feeling you know about it already. I’m sure you’ve heard this many times already, but stay strong, Crimson. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be dealing with this loss on top of your treatments, but you are an incredibly strong colt. I hope that coping with this loss does not discourage you from fighting your own battle. You will likely hear this quite a lot, but my sincerest condolences to you and your family. If you ever want to speak to somepony other than your family, Starry, or Tesla, feel free to write to me. Stay Strong, Miss Turner I nodded and put the letter on my side table, next to Dad’s feather. “I’m guessing something along the lines of ‘sorry for your loss’ and ‘stay strong’?” Starry asked. I shrugged. “Basically. I’ve been hearing that a lot— probably will for a while.” Tess nodded. There was a knock at the door, then it opened a crack. “May we come back in?” It was Gramma. “Oh, yeah,” I answered. “Everything’s okay.” “Alright.” She and Mom walked in and sat by the window. “Is it okay if we just sit over here?” Mom asked. “We’ll leave you three to yourselves; we’re just going to chat.” “Sure,” I answered. Starry and Tess nodded, and they left us to our own devices. > Chapter 41: Explanation > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Yes, we probably should…” I looked over at Mom as she and Gramma approached my bed. “Everything okay, Ma?” “Yes, everything’s alright.” She looked out the window at the darkening sky, then at Starry and Tess, who sat on the bed with me. “Starry, Tesla, I’d like to ask a big favor of you two, but I need to be certain of something first.” “What’s up?” Starry asked her. I saw Mom bite her lower lip as she asked, “Did your parents by any chance supply you with something to eat?” Tesla nodded. “Oh yeah, we both stopped at home and stocked up before we came. We weren’t sure if it would be a long night.” She pointed to her swollen saddlebags, slung across one of the chairs. Mom let out a quick breath. “Oh, thank goodness. I wouldn’t request this if there was a possibility you’d go hungry.” “Request what?” Tess asked. “Well, you see, with everything that’s happened, I haven’t left the hospital for days. I need to check on the house— you know, make sure it hasn’t burned down,” Mom said with a forced laugh. “I need to collect the mail, clean out the fridge, and tidy up a bit. Crimson’s grandmother was going to come and help me take care of everything. He seems to be feeling alright physically, but I still don’t want to leave Crimson alone. We would likely be back around… ten-ish. Would your parents be alright with you staying here that late? And more importantly, would you two be willing to stay?” “Of course!” Tess answered instantly. “Yes Ma’am!” Starry said with a salute. I couldn’t help but laugh at that— he’s such an army brat. Mom gave a relieved sigh. “Oh Celestia, you two are life-savers. I can’t thank you enough.” Mom and Gramma both gave me a kiss on the cheek before they made their way to the door. “We’ll be back later, sweetie. I’m sorry to leave you right now, but I think you’re in good hooves. We’ll be back later tonight, I promise.” With that, she and Gramma went out the door. “Yo, dude, is there anything you wanna do that you can’t when your mom’s around?” Starry asked as soon as the door closed. I let out a huff. “No, this stupid tube will prevent me from doing any of it,” I answered with a frown. “Blah. That sucks,” he replied. “Yeah, no kidding,” I said. Tess poked me and pointed out the window. “I think a couple of stars are coming out. You wanna use your telescope?” she asked. I raised my eyebrows at that. “Well, that’s an idea.” I swung my legs around the side of my bed as Tess and Starry both hopped off. I planted my hooves on the floor, wobbling a bit before I steadied myself. Starry and Tess guided me as I slowly made my way to the window, just in case I fell. At least I still had enough strength to make it that far on my own. I set myself up with my telescope, with the tube just barely tugging at my nose. It was pretty annoying, but I figured I’d deal with it. Tess was right— a few stars had already come out. I swiveled the telescope back and forth, trying to get a good view of some of them. Tess and Starry helped me guide it, but there was one problem. “Geez, every time I get a good lock on one of them, a stupid cloud floats by,” I complained. “They’re so freakin’ annoying!” “Indeed. Perhaps we should remove them from view.” “How are you gonna—” All three of us stopped. Tess and I grinned at each other, then we both looked over at Starry; he’d turned white as a sheet. All of us spun around to find Princess Luna herself. “I see another introduction is in order,” the Princess said, looking at Starry, then turning to me, “though I think I may know who this is.” She got a good look at Starry’s cutie mark as he bowed to her. “Would you by any chance be Knightfall’s son?” Still bowing, Starry looked up at her and answered, “Y-Y-Yes, Your Highness.” Tess and I held in giggles as he stammered, “M-My name’s S-Starry Knight.” He turned to Tess and me and whispered, “Why aren’t you bowing?” The Princess chuckled, “Because I have granted them the privilege not to— a privilege you may enjoy as well, as of this moment.” Starry raised himself to standing height, with his eyes wide and his jaw hanging on the floor. “Princess, how do you know about me?” Princess Luna smiled. “It is quite noticeable when one of my guards speaks of their child earning their cutie mark. ‘Tis a special occasion indeed. Your father was, and I can only assume still is, immensely proud of his son’s artistic ability. And while you may not wish to follow in your father’s hoofprints, you certainly act as though you could,” she said. I laughed. “I just thought the same thing a few minutes ago.” “Learning respect at a young age is an admirable quality, Starry Knight. Your father has taught you well,” Princess Luna said, “but you may drop the formalities with me. You have earned the right, as a dutiful friend to Crimson Star— who has consistently neglected to take advantage of said privilege.” She smiled again. I blushed. “Sorry, Princess. It just doesn’t feel right.” Tess nodded in agreement. “Very well, but the offer still stands if you wish,” Princess Luna said with a smirk. It was great to see her again, but I realized I still had that important question to ask. I didn’t want to offend her, so I approached the Princess and spoke as respectfully as I could. “Um, Princess? Can I ask you something? I don’t want to forget.” “Of course, Crimson. What is it you wish to know?” she responded. “Well, it’s kind of… hard to ask,” I said, looking at the floor. “Oh?” She cocked a brow. “In what way?” I sighed and looked at Tess. “Well, maybe I should just ask.” The Princess tilted her head and waited for me to speak. I looked back at her and asked outright, “Princess, did you… did you know my dad was gonna die?” Her eyes widened at the inquiry. “Why… would you ask such a question, Crimson?” To my relief, Tess jumped in for me. “It was actually my idea, Princess. Crimson told me you had a conversation a while ago about what powers you do and don’t have. You said he needed to know that you don’t have power over life and death, and he would find out why soon.” Tess hesitated before she continued, “That sounded like more than a coincidence to me after Mr. Dasher… passed away.” The Princess took a breath and let out a small hum. “I do indeed recall that conversation, and it was important that we had it, though not for the reason you are suggesting, Tesla.” When I arched my eyebrows, she turned to me and continued, “When you had the dream which cast me as the Angel of Death, I determined that you needed to understand where my powers do and do not lie. However, it had nothing to do with your father. And if you recall, I also told you that I cannot predict the future.” “Oh… yeah…” I’d forgotten about that. “But if that’s true, then why did you say I ‘would know soon enough’ why we had to have that talk?” I asked. “Well, it would not have surprised me if you had made friends here in the hospital. Considering your situation, as well as theirs, there was always the possibility that one of them might pass away. While I had hoped it would not be the case, the likelihood was high, and unfortunately, I was correct. That was the reason I determined that you needed the knowledge of my limitations. I had not considered your father, as he seemed perfectly healthy at the time.” “Oh…” I nodded. “That makes sense. I didn’t think about that.” “And if you recall, you did have a dream in which you asked me about your friends’ potential return… but then remembered my limits.” I nodded, remembering that game of Patan, and my first lucid dream. “Nonetheless,” the Princess sighed, “in hindsight, I should not have said such a thing either way. ‘Twas poor judgement on my part, and I apologize for that.” “It’s okay, I think I understand why you did it,” I said. “However…” She paused. “Tesla is not wrong in thinking that I knew of your father’s imminent passing. The timing is incorrect, though.” “Huh? I don’t get it,” Tess said. “Me either. What do you mean, ‘timing’?” I asked. “Allow me to explain,” Princess Luna responded. “Do you recall when your father went into his first surgery, and I induced you to sleep?” “Yeah,” I answered. “I’d just had this thing put in.” I crossed my eyes, looking at the tube. “You said I needed rest.” She nodded. “While that was indeed true, I had an ulterior motive behind doing so. When you fell asleep, I linked you to your father’s dreamscape. You and your father were experiencing the same dream together.” My jaw dropped. “Wait, so that’s why you had me go to sleep?” She nodded. “Aside from the fact that you did indeed need rest, I induced your slumber because you both had to be dreaming for me to connect you. As I observed the two of you in your dream, I could tell that your father did not need a push to persevere, as can be the case with others. He fought as hard as he could for you on his own, and he succeeded. I kept you connected because you appeared to be enjoying yourself. However, the conversation he had with you in the later part of the dream gave me insight to his own knowledge of his impending mortality.” “What do you mean?” I asked her. “Do you not remember your father’s words?” I thought for a moment before I frowned. “No… I don’t.” She nodded. “As I recall, when he referred to the game you played together, he said, ‘I won’t always be here to play with you.’ He also worried about your future. As I said, the two of you were linked directly. Unlike in the dream that I poorly manipulated…” She put a hoof to her head and rolled her eyes. “…he was no projection to you, and you were no projection to him. I don’t believe either of you knew until the very end, when you saw my reflection.” “So that was you!” She nodded. “Indeed. When you discovered me, I had to break the link— ‘twas unnecessary anyway. However, had your father been speaking to you outside the dreamscape, he likely would have said similar words to you. His subconscious in the dreamscape wanted to warn you. Whether he knew it was a dream or not, he was able to pass you the message.” My eyes widened. “Actually… he did say something like that to me when we were awake. So are you… you’re saying he knew, too?” Princess Luna sighed. “I suspect he did. I believe he spoke those words to you because he knew there was a distinct possibility he would not survive, and was preparing for it, despite his successful battle. It was during that linked dream that I discovered your father was likely aware of his imminent passing. While it distressed him, he seemed to have accepted it.” “What?” I asked. “Dad would never—” The Princess held up a hoof and cut me off. “Wait, I’m not finished, Crimson. While I was not aware of your father’s second surgery, even if I knew, and attempted to intervene, I doubt it would have made a difference. Based on what I learned from my visit to your mother’s dreamscape, the likelihood of his survival was slim, no matter how strong his mental fortitude— and believe me, in that regard, your father was strong. Despite your father’s tribulations, you must know that he did not quit.” I sighed with relief at that comment. “I could tell from that first dream that he would have done anything he could to fight on for you. However, based on some of his other dreams I observed, he also thought realistically. Your father fought as hard as he could, but in the end, his passing was inevitable. I’m sorry.” I sniffed as the Princess finished explaining herself, and let a tear drip down my cheek as I nodded. She wiped it away with her wing. “I still wish it hadn’t happened,” I choked out. “Of course not. Nopony wishes for the passing of a loved one. Loss is always terribly painful, but you must fight on for your father— he has faith in you. As do I,” the Princess said. She briefly wrapped me in her wing. When she released me, Tess and Starry both gave me a hug. “You also have incredible friends who wish nothing but the best for you,” the Princess said, looking at Starry and Tess. “You must fight for them as well. All of this—” She turned around, gesturing at the machines. “—is clearly important to your battle, but another key to your success is your strength of will. If you allow your positive mentality to weaken, the same will happen to your body. You must stay strong emotionally, or all of this will be for nought.” She caught sight of the wall across from my bed. She stopped short for a moment before she spoke. “What… is this?” Starry slunk back against the window as the Princess stared at his painting. “Umm… I, uh… I made that, Princess. I hope I got a good angle.” Princess Luna approached the painting before she put a hoof to her mouth and took a breath. “This… this is remarkable! Never have I seen such a portrayal outside of stained glass.” She took in the entirety of the painting, looking at one particular spot for a few moments before she turned around to address Starry. “Starry Knight, you truly have a gift. ‘Tis no wonder your father brags about you.” Starry’s eyes grew as wide as dinner plates before he responded, “Th-Thank you, Princess. I made that for Crimson. Actually, I got my cutie mark just after I gave it to him.” The Princess took another breath. “‘Tis not surprising. This truly is a wonderful piece of work.” Starry blushed as the Princess looked back at the painting, then turned to me with a smirk. “Crimson, I believe you wanted to do a bit of stargazing, did you not?” “Hey, yeah!” I answered. “Then I must make one small adjustment.” She looked out the window, and with a glow of her horn, the clouds outside the window dissipated. “That should make things easier.” “Awesome!” I said. The Princess turned back to me and said, “Crimson, I am well aware that your father was quite the spiritual stallion. It would not surprise me if he still watches you from beyond the stars. Perhaps you could choose one to serve as your father’s representative; that way, you may keep watch on him in return.” I thought about it for a moment. “You know, that does sound like something Dad would do.” I looked around the now clear sky, trying to find a good star to serve as Dad’s representative. “Hmmm… I need to find a good one…” The Princess looked through the window for just a moment, then pointed up at a particularly bright star just over the top of Princess Twilight’s Castle. “How about that one?” I took my telescope and turned it toward the star she’d pointed out, and right as I got it into focus, it sparkled, like it was winking at me. I lifted my eye from the lens and smiled. “It’s perfect! Dad, I’ll keep watch for you every night.” I looked at the Princess with that same smile. “Thank you, Princess. That might make everything a little easier for me to take in.” I looked straight out the window at the star, sparkling in the clear night sky. “You are very welcome. I am glad I could be of help, but for now, I must depart.” She turned to all of us as she said her respective goodbyes. “Crimson, as always, it was wonderful to see you. Tesla, lovely to see you again. And Starry, it was a pleasure to meet you as well. I will tell your father that he certainly has every right to brag about his son. You do truly have a gift.” Starry turned bright red. “Th-Thank you, Princess. I-It was an honor to meet you.” “Great to see you again, Princess!” Tesla said. “I’ll see you soon, right?” I asked. “Perhaps,” she answered with a smile, before she vanished in a blinding flash of light. After a few minutes, Starry’s jaw finally went back up into his mouth as Tess and I laughed at him. “So, you still jealous?” Tess asked him. “She knew about you before she even met you!” “I… I…” Starry stammered, before he promptly fell to the floor. > Chapter 42: News > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A few days later, I sat in bed as Mom and Gramma woke up at the window like usual, right around the time Starry and Tess would be arriving at school. I had been up for a few minutes already, recalling what had happened a few nights ago. Both Starry and Tess had met Princess Luna, so we could all talk about her without one of us feeling left out. I chuckled as I remembered Tess literally dragging Starry out by a hoof once Mom and Gramma got back. They were upset they had missed the Princess again, but conceded that maybe the Princess intentionally only appeared when adults weren’t around. I looked through my telescope at the star the Princess and I had picked out each night after she visited me. There were never any clouds— I was a little suspicious about that, but I let it go. The star always shone nice and bright through the window, and whenever I checked through my telescope lens, it kept up with that wink-like sparkle. It was like Princess Luna had known something about it… like she had found a way for Dad and me to check on each other and say ‘hey’ every night. I always looked forward to it during the day. I actually felt alright, all things considered. My stomach hadn’t hurt too badly for a while, and I slept fairly well. I didn’t feel that crummy during the day, and I’d gotten used to most of the chemo side effects… except one that bugged the hay outta me— the mouth sores. They started appearing in the last few days— they were like blisters on the inside of my lips. They were annoying as Tartarus; they made it hard to talk, and it hurt if I said certain stuff, usually because of particular letters. The only thing the docs let me do to try and help was suck on ice chips, but that just made my mouth freeze, so I didn’t do it that much. Other than that, I actually felt okay. I had just taken to keeping my mouth open during conversation so the sores didn’t touch my teeth or each other— keeping my lips apart was pretty obnoxious… When I heard the usual courtesy knock that preceded High Flyer’s entrance, I sat up and stretched. “‘orn, High. S’ut?” I had to use shortened or messed up words since I couldn’t speak properly. Fortunately, it wasn’t too hard for him to figure out my lingo, and I’d figured out how to speak without making it hurt pretty quickly. High Flyer smiled. “G’morning, Crimson. Well, I have some news— nothing bad, nothing good, so don’t make any assumptions yet.” I glanced at Mom and Gramma, and we all shrugged at each other before I turned back to High Flyer. “Well, you’ve been on this chemo regimen long enough that we want to do a scan to see how it’s doing. You seem to be generally feeling alright, so that’s a good sign. The only problem is those mouth sores, and that’s a side effect from the chemo, so it’s not really a contributing factor here. Now, if the scan comes back with good results, then we’ll stop the regimen, and hopefully those sores will start going away. After that…” He paused. “…Well, we’ll see where things go from there. We’d like to get you into the scan room in about a half-hour. That okay?” I cocked a brow and shrugged at High Flyer. “‘ell, I ain’t goin’ any-ere else,” I said. It elicited a laugh from everypony in the room. Despite the annoyance of the sores, I still needed to keep a positive attitude—just like Princess Luna said—so even though I couldn’t speak properly, I still tried to joke. “Good point,” High Flyer chuckled. “I’ll see you in about twenty-five minutes to get you set up, then.” He nodded and walked out. “Well…” Mom started as she came up to my bed, “…that sounds like the start of some potential good news. Let’s not get our hopes up, though.” I nodded and laid back, closing my eyes for just a second. “Hey!” I jolted awake when I heard High Flyer call my name. “No sleepin’ on the job!” He smiled as he hung my IV bag on a wheelchair, instead of the usual pole. I laughed back as he explained, “I’m actually going to wheel you downstairs for this scan, so you get a free ride. How’s that sound?” “‘riddy good,” I replied, as I slid off my bed and got into the chair. “Okay. I just have to get you hooked up to this portable pump first.” “‘ait— horta-ul huh?” I asked, my brows arching. High Flyer caught my expression and said, “Before you ask, I know what you’re thinking, Crimson. We couldn’t have used this when you first had the tube put in. It’s not as strong as we needed it to be then. I promise, if we had been able to use this to let you see your dad, we would have. This is just temporary.” He picked the tube off the wall and attached it to a little box which he put under the chair. I let out a short sigh. At least High Flyer had been nice enough to give me the explanation before I got upset. Mom asked, “How long do you think you’ll be?” High Flyer responded, “Well, the whole process of getting down there, doing the paperwork, and completing the scan should only take about forty minutes, so I’d expect us back in—” “An hour at minimum?” Mom cut him off. “Exactly,” High Flyer replied, laughing with Mom as he opened the door. “I see you’ve converted to hospital time pretty well.” “We’ve been doing this for a while,” Mom said with a smirk. “True— Crimson’s file is pretty thick,” High Flyer said. “We’ll be back ‘soon’.” He waved his hooves in a quoting motion before he turned around and pushed me out the door with his wings. The scan was pretty uneventful— nothing new, aside from having the tube running out the top of the machine. After about 15 minutes of laying still, they let me back into the chair and High Flyer brought me back to my room. Including waiting time, it only took about 45 minutes, like High Flyer said, so it was unusually quick. As he hooked me back up to my usual wall machines, High Flyer explained, “Hopefully we’ll get Crimson’s results back as soon as possible— if all goes well, we should have them by later this afternoon. When that comes around… if things are going well, we might have some good news for you.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows as he walked out. I cocked my brow and looked at Mom and Gramma, then narrowed my eyes. “Hmmm… that smile was unusually wide,” Mom commented. “And those eyebrows sure were promising,” Gramma added. “I guess we’ll have to wait until the results come back to see if they actually mean anything.” I put a hoof to my forehead. “Al’ays itha aiting. Know uht? I jus’ gonna chai n’ slee, okay?” “Sounds like a good way to wait it out,” Mom chuckled. “Well, sleep as much as you can, sweetie. If the results come back, we’ll make sure to wake you up, okay?” Gramma said. “Okay,” I responded. I laid back and closed my eyes, slowly putting my lips together so the sores didn’t hurt as much. Gotta say, trying to fall asleep without actually needing to is harder than it seems. I listened to Mom and Gramma chat between themselves about boring stuff. I figured that might help get me to sleep. Fortunately, I was right— I probably learned about seven different kinds of recycling materials in the process of dozing off. > Chapter 43: The Good, the Bad, and the Deceptive > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I’m sorry, Crimson, but we need to keep you on the chemo for a little longer. The good news is that it seems to be working, but the obstruction isn’t completely gone,” the doctor said. “I’m sorry about the mouth sores, but there’s really not much we can do about that. You need to just keep trying the ice chips. I know it’s uncomfortable, but we can’t give you any other pills for them— it would likely just cause more problems, and we don’t want that, obviously.” I put a hoof on my forehead before I laid my head in my hooves. At least things were working, but it would have been nice if they worked faster. The sores were driving me nuts. I really hoped for some better news, particularly if it included taking the tube out and letting me eat. So much for that. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’d hoped they would take that thing out. I guess not,” Mom said. “You’ll just have to deal with it for a little longer. I’m sorry,” Gramma said, stroking the back of my mane. I didn’t feel like talking. The sores would have just made it annoying. I— wait. I sat for a second and just thought, then I clearly asked, “Gramma, what did you just do?” She replied, “I was just stroking your mane, sweetie. I thought it would make you feel better.” I grinned from ear to ear and responded, “You bet your flank it did!” I closed my eyes and concentrated. After a second, I swallowed and put a hoof under my nose; I felt exactly what I wanted: nothing. I focused on my foreleg, then checked: nothing. I let out a whoop. “I did it!” Everything else—heart monitors, blood pressure cuff, all the annoying stuff—I could just rip all that off, so I did, and it felt great. I knew where I was, so ripping the stickers off didn’t hurt. I got out of bed and walked straight out my door, ignoring Mom’s and Gramma’s calls. As I walked down the hall, heading for the elevator, I concentrated as hard as I could. When the elevator made the ding sound and the door opened, it was empty. I groaned and turned around, then I noticed the large windows right across from me. I smiled as another thought crossed my mind. I narrowed my eyes at the windows, and the glass disappeared. I flapped my wings a few times, then shot straight out the open window. If I couldn’t make him appear in the elevator, maybe I could find him somewhere else. I flew for my house, taking in the scenery. I hadn’t been outside in months, and even though I knew I technically wasn’t, it still felt great: the wind in my mane, the sun directly on my back, ponies walking through town… just a regular day. I missed those. I landed at my doorstep. Instead of just barging in, I knocked and yelled, “Anypony home?” “One second!” I could hear the unmistakable voice from inside. After just a moment, the door opened, and there he stood. “Heya, Champ! Whatcha doin’ here? Why aren’t you out cru—” I just smiled and grabbed onto him. “Dad, it’s you! I… I just wanted to say hi. I know it hasn’t been that long, but I still can’t believe it happened.” I could feel a tear dripping down my cheek. “What, you didn’t hear the good news?” He said. I picked my head up. “Huh?” “You should be awake for me to tell you.” “Wait, what?” “Yes, I think it’s only fair that Crimson be awake for me to tell you.” High Flyer stood at my bedside as I opened my eyes. “Ah! Perfect timing!” I groaned as I stretched a little. It upset me that I had just woken from one of my first lucid dreams that I could actually remember controlling. I patted the top of my head to make sure: nothing. “S’ut?” I asked, still a little groggy. Fortunately, I’d remembered the sores were there. “Well, which do you want to hear first— the good news or the bad news?” I groaned again; the fact that there was any bad news didn’t particularly encourage me, but at this point I should have expected it. I just shrugged. “The ‘ad.” High Flyer asked, “Really? Okay, well, that works.” I cocked a brow as he said, “Well, the bad news is you’re going to have to deal with those mouth sores for a little longer…” I groaned again and planted a hoof on my forehead. “…they take a while to go away after treatments end.” I shook my head for a moment, then I lifted it and darted a look at him with furrowed brows. “And that leads into the good news. Your scan results came back, and the obstruction…” He took a hoof and slid it horizontally across his neck. “Oh, thank Celestia!” Gramma said. I laid back against my pillow with relief; finally, things were looking up. “Yep. We’re stopping the chemo, so those sores should go away in a few days— hopefully no more than a week. Sucking on those ice chips really would help if you want them to go away faster, y’know.” He wagged a hoof at me, and I rolled my eyes. “Your mane should also start coming back in, but it’ll be slow.” Well, there goes my lucid dreaming cue. I’ll have to think of another one… “Oh, I’m guessing you’ll want to hear about the bonus news, too.” I looked at him and asked, “‘onus?” High Flyer shrugged. “Well, since the obstruction is gone, your gastro tract should be up and working again, so to test it out, you’re getting some dinner tonight, bud.” I pumped up a victory hoof. “Okay, let me unhook this sucker…” He took one of the bags off my PICC. I recognized the line as the one they used for my chemo treatments, but he left the other one alone. “We’re just going to leave the nutrients up until we know you can eat again. Same thing with your meds— you’ll get them in fluids in the same line until we know you can take ‘em per ora. You remember what that means?” I nodded with a little smile. “Good. Okay, I’ll be right back— I need to get one of the other nurses.” I turned and cocked a brow at him. “Huh? Ho uht?” High Flyer smirked. “Well, we usually prefer to have unicorn nurses take the NG tubes out.” > Chapter 44: It's Just Water > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Okay, the tape’s off. We’re gonna need you to take in a nice, deep breath, then exhale slowly. Can you do that for us, buddy?” High Flyer asked. “Uh-huh.” I felt myself shaking a little as I sat there with the tube loosely dangling out of my nostril. I wanted this so much, but I was nervous as Tartarus now that the tube was actually coming out. The unicorn mare High Flyer brought with him stood next to my bed, holding out a hoof to me with a reassuring smile. “Do you want to hold on? It can feel a little strange.” I looked at her hoof. It was tempting—I didn’t see a reason not to—but I wanted to be strong. I slowly put my hooves in my lap and answered, “No hankoo.” “Okay then,” she said, still smiling. “Are you ready?” I sat for a second, then took in a quick breath and answered, “Uh-huh.” “Alright.” As she lit up her horn, she said, “On ‘three’, take that nice breath, and I’m going to pull the tube out as you exhale, okay? Here we go— one, two, three…” I drew in a long, deep breath. “…and out.” As I breathed out slowly, I could feel the tube smoothly coming up through my throat and out my nose like a worm. It wasn’t as bad as I expected, but as it slid out, I couldn’t help but cough. The new empty space in my throat and nose felt strange, but refreshing. “That’s it, all done! Great job!” She patted my foreleg. “High Flyer will take it from here. I’m going to take this thing out of here so you don’t have to look at it anymore.” She winked at me as she left. High Flyer held up a hoof to me. “Awesome job, buddy!” When I finished coughing, I smiled and returned the hoof-bump. “How do you feel?” I held a hoof to my nose. I couldn’t really come up with a solid answer at first. I grabbed a few tissues from my side table and blew my nose. It cleared out like a rocket. After tossing the snotty tissues, I let out a refreshed sigh before I answered, “Hunny… uht good.” “Not surprising. Well, now that that sucker’s out, we want to see if you can eat and drink, but we’re not going to do everything at once. You think you can try just a bit of water at room temperature?” I nodded. As I did, I realized it was much easier to do without the stupid tube in my nose. I turned my head left and right, up and down, and around in a circle, just to see how it felt. High Flyer laughed, “Much easier without the tube in, huh?” I nodded with a smile. As he gave me a cup of water, he said, “Okay, I just want you to take a couple of sips at a time for now, alright? Not too much at once. We’re just gonna start with something small and easy later for dinner. We can’t go giving you a four-course meal right away.” As he made his way to the door, he said, “But, I’ll be happy to give you as many ice chips as you want for those sores. I’m telling you, they’ll go away much faster.” Before he closed the door, I heard him say, “Well, you two have good timing.” He popped his head back in, and before he even asked, I waved my hoof in a ‘come in’ motion. As Starry and Tess walked in, Starry started, “Yo dude, what did your nurse mean by— DUDE!” “They took it out?!” Tess exclaimed. I nodded my head vigorously, then took a nice, deep breath through my nose and laid back on my pillow. Oh Luna, did that feel good. One down, one to go— if only I could get those sores to go away. Oh, buck it. I hit my call button. A couple of seconds later, High Flyer popped his head back in. “Everything okay, bud?” I let out a harsh sigh. “Can I ha suh ice chiss?” He smiled. “Finally willing to try again?” I sat up and nodded. “Sure thing, buddy. Be right back.” Starry asked, “That for those obnoxious things in your mouth?” I nodded at him. “They should go a’ay soon.” “But I thought they were because of the chemo,” Tess said. I smiled and made the same motion High Flyer had earlier, sliding my hoof across my neck. “They stopped it?” She asked. I nodded again. “Oh, thank Celestia! Does that mean you’re doing better?” “Well, we’re going to find out soon enough,” Mom interjected. “He’s going to try some food later. Hopefully everything… well, works.” I couldn’t have stopped her if I tried. Tess hopped up on my bed and gave me a hug. “Does that mean I don’t have to be careful of your nose anymore?” she asked. Fortunately, as I put a hoof up, she caught herself. “Wait… your nurse said… did they just take it out? Like, right before we walked in?” When I nodded, she turned to Starry. “So that’s what he meant by good timing!” Starry nodded in agreement, and Tess looked back at me with a sigh. “Okay, then I’ll wait.” She took a hoof and gently tapped my head. “Is your mane gonna grow back?” I shrugged. “Ho-hully. He said it should.” High Flyer walked back in with a cup. “Alright, bud. I’ve got some ice chips for your sores. Before that, though…” He pointed to the cup of water I’d placed on my side table. “Did you try the water yet?” When I shook my head, he said, “Then can you just take a little drink while I’m here?” I nodded and looked at the cup. I hadn’t put anything in my mouth other than ice chips for ages, and they usually didn’t stay in for very long, but I figured taking a little drink of water wouldn’t be too difficult. I was… horribly wrong. The water touching the sores made my mouth feel like fire. I shouted and dropped the cup, thanking Luna that Tess had developed good levitation reflexes. When the water I had managed to get in my mouth got to the back of my throat, I finally swallowed… and it actually felt fine. As I held a hoof over my mouth, Tess levitated the rest of the water back into the cup and asked, “Did it hurt that badly?” I couldn’t speak; it really did hurt, but not the swallowing. It gave me an idea— I held the hoof hovering over my mouth up to them, then motioned for Tess to give me the cup back. High Flyer asked me, “Are you sure? Tesla is right— you looked like you were in quite a lot of pain.” I furrowed my brows and nodded. Though she seemed reluctant, Tess gave me the cup back. Holding it between my hooves, I slowly tilted my head back and opened my mouth wide. I tipped the cup just enough that a bit of water landed on my tongue. Keeping my head tilted back, I poured the water into my throat again, then after a couple of seconds, I managed to swallow without closing my mouth. I sighed, then nodded. “Wait, you didn’t make any noise that time,” Starry said. “Well, based on what I’m seeing,” High Flyer started, “it looks like you shouted the first time because the water made contact with your mouth sores. When you tilted your head back on your second try, it looked like you managed to get the water straight to the back of your throat without it touching them, and you didn’t seem bothered. Given that evidence, it seems that the water touching the sores is what hurt— actually swallowing the water didn’t appear to cause you any pain. Is that what’s going on?” I still didn’t want to speak, so I just nodded. The water itself was actually pretty refreshing, but those sores… ugh. “Well that’s a pain in the rump,” Tess said. I rolled my eyes. “Yes, it is,” High Flyer said. “It’s good that swallowing doesn’t appear to hurt, but it’s going to be pretty hard for you to eat if those sores are getting in the way…” I put a hoof to my forehead; I hadn’t thought of that. If I could barely get water past those things, actual food would probably be impossible. Well, may as well see if those ice chips help any… GAH! Luna, that’s COLD! > Chapter 45: Start Slow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Okay, dear. I think you’ve got it. Now, let’s try it on your son.” “Yes, ma’am,” Mom said to the old nurse. She turned to me and asked, “Sweetie, you have the water at hoof?” “Uh-huh,” I answered. Oh Luna, I hope this works… Mom lit up her horn, and I crossed my eyes, watching her red aura as it surrounded my muzzle. I gave it a second, then checked for the pain, prodding the inside of my mouth with my tongue. The pain wasn’t gone, but it certainly hurt much less. I took the water and took a drink like I normally would have, squinting a bit as I felt the liquid flow over the sores before going down my throat. So much better. I smiled at Mom and nodded, who smiled back, then let down her aura. The old nurse nodded and looked at mom. “Looks like you’ve got it, dear! Great job!” Mom beamed as she released a deep breath. “Thanks! I have to admit, that was pretty difficult. Thank you for teaching me that spell, Nurse Redcross.” “You are very welcome, dear. The anaesthesia spell can certainly be helpful at times, but it’ll take quite a lot out of you, so you shouldn’t use it too much. We usually only use it for urgent cases. Frankly, I’m surprised the doctor gave me permission to teach it to you instead of requiring that a nurse do it. Then again, you are a veteran medical parent.” Nurse Redcross turned on me and cocked a brow. “Now you listen to me, young stallion. Your mother is only to use this spell when you eat. Hopefully she won’t need to use it for long— it’s quite draining. You keep sucking on ice chips to help those sores go away, got it?” I nodded. “Uh-huh.” Geez, the head nurse is nice, but she can be kinda scary sometimes… “Good. They should be bringing dinner around shortly, so you’ll get your chance to eat with that spell soon enough. Until then, get some rest.” I bobbed my head as she turned and left. “Well, that will certainly be useful,” Mom said with a sigh, “but Nurse Redcross is right, it’s pretty draining. I’m going to save my energy for when you need to eat, okay sweetie?” I nodded before Mom poked her head out of the doorway. “Starry, Tesla, you can come back in.” The second she said those words, the two of them stood at the foot of my bed in a flash. “Did the nurse teach you something to help Crimson?” “Yes, Starry, she did,” Mom answered. “Can I learn it, too?” Tess asked her. “I don’t think so, Tesla. The nurses usually only use this spell for emergencies— I don’t think they’d be too keen on teaching it to you. Celestia knows I certainly can’t teach you— I’m just figuring it out myself!” Tess pushed a hoof into the floor. “Shoot…” “Don’t you worry your little head, dear,” Gramma said from the window. “You can help in other ways.” Tess looked over at Gramma and cocked a brow. “Like what?” Gramma smirked. “I’ll show you when his food comes by, dear.” “Tess, if you make train noises, I sw-aah!” I probably should keep the talking to a minimum, even with Mom’s spell. “I won’t! Just relax and let me help!” Gramma smiled as Tess hovered a spoon of applesauce over to my mouth, while Mom used her new spell. Feeding me wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when Gramma said Tess could help in other ways. Yet, here we were, me holding my mouth open with Tess trying to get food in, while Gramma and Starry chuckled by the window as Mom focused on the anaesthesia spell. “Honestly, I wouldn’t’ve put it past her,” I heard Starry whisper to Gramma, eliciting another laugh from them both. Tess didn’t seem to notice. Finally, Tess’s copper aura met Mom’s red one as Tess pushed the spoon into my mouth. As I closed down and swiped the applesauce off the spoon, I could still feel the sores, but they were more of an annoyance than painful. “Well, that didn’t seem too bad,” Tess said, dropping the spoon back down into the cup. The nutritionists had given me some milk and water along with the applesauce, and some ice cream for dessert, but nothing more. High Flyer wasn’t kidding when he said I was starting off easy with the food. “You up for some more?” “Sure.” After swiping another dozen spoonfuls, I finally turned to Mom and said, “Okay, let it down. S’good her now.” Mom stopped the anaesthesia spell and took a few breaths. I could see what Nurse Redcross meant— with the sweat and the panting, Mom looked completely wiped out. “Mrs. Harmony, are you alright?” Starry asked her. “Yes, Starry, I’m fine— just a bit drained,” Mom replied. “Let’s see how Crimson’s first ‘meal’ sits.” “I dunno ih ah-uhl sauce is exactly the ‘est thing to judge eye,” I said. “Well, like High Flyer said,” Gramma interjected, “you need to start slow— foal steps. If the applesauce sits well with you, then I’m sure they’ll jump you up to something more substantial.” “I guess,” I answered. Whatever that meant. At this point I could only hope that we’d know quickly. I looked over at Mom, who took a few deep breaths. I realized that the less she had to use that anaesthesia spell, the better she’d feel, so I had to get my flank in gear and get rid of those sores as soon as possible. Unfortunately, my ice chips from earlier had already melted into water, so I hit my call button. It didn’t take long before High Flyer poked his head in. “Everything okay?” I nodded and asked, “Can I ha suh ‘ore ice chiss?” He smiled in response. “Other ones melted, huh?” I nodded. “Sure thing. Be right back.” When he closed the door, I turned to Starry and Tesla and said, “I gonna chai and do this as ‘uch as I can, so I ‘on’t ee ay-uhl to talk. ‘ay-ee you guys should go.” “You sure?” Tess asked. “Yeah,” I answered. “Ah ‘rolly oughta get suh ‘est any-ay. You guys should, too.” “Truth,” Starry said. “Not gonna argue there. Let’s go, Tess.” Before she walked to the door, Tess jumped up on my mattress. “How does your nose feel?” I smiled and let out a quick sigh. “A lot ‘etter. Eye?” Tess smirked, then rubbed her nose against mine. “Had to check first. See you tomorrow!” She hopped off the bed and galloped past Starry, who rolled his eyes and waved to me before he followed after the giggling filly. I chuckled and shook my head. “Girls…” > Chapter 46: A Chance > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Oh boy, have I been waiting for this…” I rubbed my hooves together as I let out a deep sigh of anticipation. Ah, being able to speak normally felt like a luxury now. I looked at the tray in front of me. Five days of applesauce, five days of a frozen mouth, all leading up to this— I could finally eat without that anaesthesia spell. I could speak and eat something without those freakin’ sores; they’d finally gone away. To say we were relieved would be an understatement— especially Mom. The past few days had been particularly rough on her. Using the spell three times a day took a serious toll on her. I didn’t know why the doctors waited so long before they let me try something more ‘substantial,’ as Gramma had put it. Every time I ate, I’d told High Flyer my stomach didn’t hurt as much. When he kept asking me, “‘As much’?” after like, the hundredth time I’d told him, I finally figured it out. Yesterday at lunch I told him my stomach didn’t hurt at all, and he gave me a nice smile. When I told him the same thing last night after dinner, he finally gave me the regular breakfast menu to pick something solid to try this morning. I… may or may not have lied about my stomach, but I wanted something other than applesauce. That’s how this tray of scrambled eggs ended up on my table. Finally, something with some kind of substance. Oh— ‘substantial.’ Duh. Heaven. Bland heaven. I had to resist scarfing it down— Mom helped with that, since she didn’t have to focus on a spell. No pain, nothing preventing me from enjoying it, no matter how much it lacked actual taste. And it wasn’t asparagus— that was a plus. I had a feeling that would be coming for lunch, though. I turned out to be right. I guess they wanted me to try a variety of foods to make sure everything was okay. Just a few stalks— they didn’t want me having too much at one time. My stomach didn’t hurt that much, so it seemed like everything was okay, except for one thing… I still wasn’t going to the bathroom. I had asked for some plain pasta to try for dinner. After I finished, my stomach didn’t feel right. I didn’t eat that much of it, but obviously it was enough for me to bring it back up a half-hour later, along with the asparagus from lunch. When my stomach finally settled, Mom, Gramma, and Tess sat around my bed as High Flyer discussed the next course of action. “Well, it looks like the solids aren’t sitting well with you, buddy. You were going to the rooms well enough when you were just eating applesauce, right?” “Well, kind of,” I answered. “It was just… you know.” “Right. Not surprising— applesauce is pretty close to liquid. There must be some other kind of blockage, but not enough that it’s blocking you up completely. We ought to do another CT scan,” High Flyer told us. “Maybe the techs missed something. It’s too late to do one now, but I’ll see if we can get you in early tomorrow morning. Looks like you’re going back to applesauce for now. Sorry.” I groaned, putting my head in my hooves. “Shoot. I thought I was doing better, too.” At that moment, something occurred to me, much to my horror. I turned to High Flyer and asked, “You’re not gonna put another one of those tubes up my nose, are you?” He grimaced at the question. “Well, I won’t lie, we might have to. You’re still on your liquid nutrients, and you’ve basically thrown up everything solid that you’ve eaten so far. If you stick to liquids for now, we’ll wait to make that judgement until after we get the scan results, unless something urgent happens.” I let out a sigh. “Alright. At least I’ve got a chance.” High Flyer tapped my fetlock. “That’s the best way to look at it. The Radiology office closes pretty soon, so let me go call them and try to get you an early slot for tomorrow morning. I’ll let you know in a few minutes.” With that, he walked out the door. Mom came up beside me and rested her hoof on top of my bare head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Everything seemed to be going your way, too…” She sighed. “For a time. Well, look at it this way: at least those annoying mouth sores are gone. As long as they don’t put you on any more chemo, it should stay that way.” I shrugged. “Good point. That means I can still talk, so I won’t be silent company when you and Starry are here,” I said, looking at Tess. “Eh, it wouldn’t have mattered. I kinda like charades,” Tess said with a small chuckle. I rolled my eyes. High Flyer poked his head back in and said, “I’ve got you at nine tomorrow morning, buddy. You’d normally have to fast, but you shouldn’t be eating anyway, so it’s not really an issue. Try not to drink too much when you wake up, though, okay? You can’t drink for six hours beforehoof, so as long as you aren’t awake until three in the morning, that shouldn’t be a problem.” “I’ll try to avoid that,” I answered with a smirk. Mom gave me a nudge on my shoulder, then turned to High Flyer. “He won’t be.” “Okay hon, gotta stay as still as ya can now. F’they want as accurate a scan as possible, you gotta do your part.” “Yep.” The scans were nothing new, but every now and then I would find myself squirming a bit. It might’ve been my fault if something hadn’t shown up on a scan before. I closed my eyes and let the machine do its work. Fortunately, I had enough patience for a fifteen-minute scan. Those hour-long MRIs are torture. As the tech helped me off the table, High Flyer came back with a wheelchair. He turned to the tech and asked her, “If you could get those developed and up to the doctors ASAP, I’d appreciate it.” The tech smiled and answered, “I’ll do my best, sugar.” “Thanks, hot stuff,” High Flyer chuckled. I cocked a brow at the exchange. Well, I guess everypony needs to find some way to stay entertained. > Chapter 47: Rough and Tough > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mom paced back and forth around the room. I probably would have been, too, if I wasn’t stuck in my bed. Gramma had finally sat down after doing her own round of pacing. “Harmony, dear, please. You’re wearing a groove in the floor.” Mom sighed. “Sorry, Gram. I just need to know what’s going on.” “We all do, dear. Just be patient. High Flyer will—” “Got ‘em.” All of our heads turned when High Flyer came through the door. Much to our dismay, he wasn’t smiling. “So, what’s the deal?” I asked. “Are you gonna put another tube up my nose or do I get a break?” High Flyer sighed. “Neither.” Mom and Gramma matched my expression when my eyes went wide. “So… what exactly is the problem?” Mom asked. “I’m going to let the doctors explain. They’re on their way right—” The door opened and a trio of doctors walked in. “—now,” High Flyer finished. “Good afternoon, Crimson. We have some serious business to discuss.” The doctor lit up her horn and took the scan results from High Flyer’s wing. “I… don’t really like the sound of that,” I said. “What’s going on?” “Well, we found the source of the problem. There is indeed another blockage.” I let out a sigh. “Does that mean I need more chemo?” I could already practically feel the mouth sores again as I licked the inside of my lips. “No, it doesn’t—” My ears perked for a moment. “—It means we need to do surgery.” Then they dropped like weights. “Surgery?” Mom asked. “We were told that surgery would be risky— that’s why Crimson was given more chemotherapy in the first place.” “Well, unlike the first obstruction that was right at the transition between Crimson’s stomach and intestine, the new blockage is further down in his tract. This time there is an exponentially smaller risk of irreversible or fatal damage.” The fact that she said the word ‘fatal’ at all wasn’t encouraging, but I had to hear her out. “It’s also not a tumor— it’s scar tissue.” Gramma stood up. “Scar tissue? From what?” The doctor stood silent for a moment, then answered, “From the chemotherapy.” I put my head in my hooves. “You’re kidding.” The doctor shook her head. “Unfortunately, no. Because of the PTLD, you’ve had to have a number of different treatments of chemotherapy. Each of them has negative side effects, but some are more subtle than others. One that they all share is that they can damage your body— in this case, your intestinal tract.” “Isn’t there something you could have done for that?” I asked. “There is, and we did,” the doctor answered. “We put you on a gut protectant when we started your second therapy, and you’ve been on it since, but it seems that the amount of chemotherapy your body has been subjected to caused more damage than the medication could prevent. In this one place, your tract was consistently being damaged and repairing itself with scar tissue— your body’s natural healing process finally built up so much tissue that it caused the blockage that appeared on the scan.” I laid my head back against my pillow and groaned. “Great. I did it to myself and I didn’t even mean to.” I shifted my head to look at the doctor. “So, what kind of surgery do you have to do?” “It’s called an intestinal resectioning. We’re going to cut out the section of your intestine where the scar tissue is, and then reconnect the tract,” the doctor answered. “Like I said before, the risk level for this kind of surgery is much lower, but there could potentially be a little more to it, depending on your decision.” My eyes widened. “Decision? What am I deciding?” She started, “Well, we can either give you another NG tube—” “NO,” I stated flatly. “Crimson, let’s listen to the other option first,” Mom said. The doctor nodded. “I had a feeling you would feel that way, Crimson, but your mother is right. The other option is that we would give you a regular gastrostomy tube, or a G-tube. We would need to create an incision in your abdomen that would go directly into your stomach and drain the fluids that way, as opposed to coming up your throat and out your nose with an NG tube.” I hesitated. “That sounds a little freaky,” I said. “Well, if it helps your decision,” the doctor responded, “we will be making several incisions anyway— the surgery will be done laparoscopically, which means we will perform the operation through a number of small incisions, instead of, well, ‘cutting you open,’ like what had to be done with your heart transplant. We will need a way to drain the excess fluids from your system post-surgery either way, but for the short-term; while your intestines heal, we will also need to drain your stomach fluids like we have been doing so your stomach acid doesn’t damage the healing tissue. If we use a G-tube, we would feed it through one of the incisions that we would already need to make for the operation. The only additional step would be creating a small incision in your stomach for the tube to be fed through. It’s not that uncommon for these kinds of procedures.” That didn’t sound so bad. I really didn’t want another NG tube— this other option sounded okay to me. I sat for a moment and looked at Mom, then turned back to the doctor and said, “I think I’d prefer the Gastros… the G-tube.” “Sticking with your original decision?” “Yeah, the G-tube doesn’t sound so bad.” “Sounds like a plan. The sooner we do the surgery, the better. I’ll let you know when there is time available. For now, you need to be marked NPO again, and you’ll remain that way for some time after the surgery. You’ll be getting your meds and nutrients through your PICC like you’ve been doing. When everything looks okay, you’ll get to try food again, but it may not be for a while. It will depend on how quickly your body heals.” I put my head in my hooves and groaned. “Ugh. Alright.” “I know you aren’t thrilled about this surgery, Crimson, especially since the chemotherapy is what created the need, but the treatments were not in vain,” the doctor said. “You already know that your first obstruction has been eliminated, but there is also very little residual cancer left throughout your body. What is left does not seem to be causing any harm, and as long as it doesn’t grow, you should be fine.” “Well, that’s good to know,” I said. “Yes, indeed,” the doctor replied. “We would just need to scan you every so often to make sure your cancer is in a manageable state. As long as it is, you won’t need any more chemotherapy. It’s actually rather common for ponies to live their lives normally with cancer, as long as it is kept at bay. This surgery might be the last major procedure you need to worry about.” “That would certainly be nice,” Mom responded. “Yeah, seriously,” I quipped. The doctor nodded. “Well, then it’s settled. I’ll try to find the soonest time available for the surgery. For now, all you need to do is wait until that time comes.” I sighed. “Okay. Hey, where’s High Flyer?” He had somehow slipped out of the room while the doctor was talking to us. “I think he’s going to get something for you,” the doctor said with a smile. “We had some fun things come in for the patients just a little while ago. If he doesn’t come back himself, I’ll be sure to send him over.” “Cool,” I said. “Thanks, Doc.” “You’re welcome,” she answered as they walked out. I sighed again. “Well, that’s a hassle. Then again, I’d kinda wanted to do surgery instead of chemo the first time around. If it’s even less risky this time, I should be fine.” Mom smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “You really are incredible, you know that? It’s amazing that you can take all of this rough stuff with so much ease. I’m worried sick over here.” I shrugged. “Not surprising. You’re a worry-wart.” That got a chuckle out of her. “And I have every right to be!” she answered. “True,” I said with a smile. High Flyer walked back in. “Hey, buddy. Sorry I snuck out while you were talking to the doctor. I thought you might like to see something after that conversation.” I tilted my head at him. “Yeah, she said you were getting something for me…” He smiled. “Indeed I was. Earlier today, one of the support foundations brought in some things for the patients.” He opened his wings and laid out some squares of cloth of a few different colors on my bed. “These are bandanas. Ponies tend to put them over their heads when they lose their manes. Yours should grow back in soon enough, but I thought you might like to have one anyway.” I looked over the colors: red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, black, and white. “They brought in some dolls, too— I had a feeling you wouldn’t want one, but I can go get a couple if you want to pick one of those instead.” “Nah, I haven’t played with action figures for a while. This is cool,” I replied. I looked over the colors for another second. “I’ll take a bla— actually, I’ll take a blue one, for my dad. Besides, red and black is really overplayed.” High Flyer chuckled. “Your pick, buddy, but it’s cool that you’re thinking about your dad. Good choice.” He gathered up the rest of the bandanas. “I’d let you take more than one, but they only brought so many. You actually just picked the last blue one— you got lucky.” “Woah, good timing,” I said. “Yeah, I wanted to make sure you could pick from the whole spectrum,” High Flyer replied. “You want me to tie it on for you? One of the other pegasus nurses taught me how. If you like it, I’ll show you how to do it, too.” “Yeah, sure!” “Alright, here, sit up straight.” He put the bandana over my head and folded it over a couple of times, tucking it in in certain places and tying it up in the back with his wings. “There we go. Whatcha think?” He pulled over my rolling table and opened up a slot where there was a hidden mirror. I looked at my reflection. “Huh. Not bad,” I said, turning my head from side to side. Mom let out a little chuckle. “You look like a thug from lower Manehattan.” At that, I burst out laughing. “Ha, yeah, I can kinda see that.” High Flyer laughed along with me. “I’m sure you could tie it somewhere else. Maybe your mom can figure something out, if she doesn’t want you looking like a thug.” Mom smiled. “I’ll think of something. He can leave it where it is for now.” “I’ll leave that up to you. Let me go hoof the rest of these out,” High Flyer said. “Sounds good. Thanks,” I responded, flicking the back of the bandana’s knot. “You’re welcome, buddy. Behave yourself,” he said with a laugh as he walked out the door. “Yes, you little thug,” Mom said, rubbing my newly covered head. “You behave.” I chuckled, nudging her away. Thinking about the surgery I was going to have soon, I took another look at myself in the table mirror and crossed my forelegs. You know… I’m no thug, but nopony can deny that I’m one tough colt. > Chapter 48: Testing > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Okay, Crimson. We need you to take some deep breaths, and count backwards from one-hundred. Can you do that for us?” “Sure, but can you help me fold my wings in? They aren’t really comfortable.” As I lay on the chilly table, one of the nurses hovered a mask nearby my face while another tucked in my primary feathers. This was it. I had to wait a couple of days, but I was finally going under. The next big step in the treatment— the resectioning. I’ve had major surgeries before, so I kind of knew what to expect, but I couldn’t help feeling a little nervous. I didn’t know what I would wake up to, but I’ve fallen asleep this way before, so I was used to it. I looked at the clock on the wall— nine in the morning. I had to wake up just to be put back to sleep. I wasn’t sure if I would be happy about that later, but it meant I would see Tess in the afternoon. That way I would have somepony to distract me if I woke up in pain. “Ready, honey? You’re going to be asleep for a while, so have some sweet dreams.” She strapped the mask over my muzzle, then said, “Here we go— start the countdown!” I took a brief second to mutter something to myself, then began counting, “One-hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety… seven… nine…” And that’s as far as I got. When I opened my eyes, Mom, Gramma, Starry and Tess all stood around my bed. “Well, sweetie, how are you feeling?” Mom asked. I scratched the back of my neck. “Fine, actually. How’d the surgery go?” “Perfectly,” High Flyer said, squeezing himself in between Gramma and Starry. “We even managed to get you out early.” “Really? What do you mean, early?” “The surgery went even quicker than we expected. You might even be able to eat later tonight!” “Really? That’s gr— wait… The doctor said I’d need to be NPO for recovery. There’s no way I could—” My hoof shot to the top of my head. Sure enough, my mane was full. “I should’ve known,” I said to myself. “This is just what I want to happen.” I looked down at myself. No tubes, no wires… I was dreaming a perfect fantasy. Then again, I’d caught myself. If I was dreaming my ideal, maybe, just maybe… “Crimson, you and I both know you don’t need me here. You will be perfectly fine on your own.” I grinned and turned toward the pony now standing between Mom and Gramma. “Princess Luna! You are here! Is it actually you, or just my figment of you?” She cocked a brow at me with a small smirk. “Yes, ‘tis the true me. There was a figment, but it disappeared upon my arrival. I had just fallen into slumber when I felt your call. But like I said, you don’t need me here. You are strong enough to make it through this operation without me.” I smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I guess. But… I think I just needed to hear that from you directly.” The Princess let out a light sigh and shook her head with a smile. Mom and Gramma stepped aside as her horn began glowing. She levitated me out of my bed, set me on the floor in front of her, then knelt down so she could look at me at eye level. “Crimson Star, you are a very strong colt. You have been through much worse— this surgery will be a piece of cake for you. You don’t really need my say-so to know that you will be fine, do you?” I shrugged. “No, I guess not. It’s just nice to see you.” “Likewise, young gentlecolt. However, since you know they occur rarely, visits like this should be saved for when you should truly need them. This is not one of those times, so I shall depart. I need my rest as well.” “Oh… yeah. Sorry.” “‘Tis alright. It will not take me long to return to my own dreams. Speaking of, you are already lucid; ‘tis another opportunity to practice manipulation.” “Hey, good idea!” I answered. “What should I do?” “What first comes to mind?” “I wanna see my dad.” Then it occurred to me. “But I’m not good at creating ponies. Only things.” I held up my hoof and closed my eyes for a second; when I opened them, nothing had changed. “Hey!” I closed my eyes and tried again, focusing harder. This time, a folded blue bandana sat in my hoof, and I smirked. “There we go, that’s better.” The Princess smiled as she picked up the bandana in her aura. “Crimson, all skills come with practice. Give it time.” Unfolding the bandana, she continued, “You must also consider the state of your body as well as your mind. You may be lucid, but your body is under considerable stress. Creation in the dreamscape may be difficult for you at the moment.” She tied the bandana around my neck and put a hoof to her muzzle. “Like an Appleloosan sheriff. You will eventually have complete control of your domain, you need not worry.” I cocked a brow. “Appleloosa is out of control, last I heard.” Her pupils dilated for a moment, then she cleared her throat. “Allow me to rephrase that: You look like an Appleloosan sheriff. You will also eventually have complete control of your domain, so you have no need to worry.” “That sounds better,” I said, before letting out a laugh. “Actually…” I closed my eyes again and concentrated hard. A few moments later, a cowpony hat with a star on it popped onto my head, and I let out a smile. “Maybe I oughta go out for a roundup!” The Princess chuckled. “That’s the spirit!” Her horn glowed and the glass pane in my window disappeared. “With such strong mental fortitude, I believe you will do just fine. Now, take to the skies, Sheriff Star! Your domain awaits!” she exclaimed, raising her hoof towards the open window. I just laughed and called out, “Thanks, Princess! See you soon!” as I flew out of the room. “Hello?” I knocked on my front door, but heard no answer. When I found it unlocked, I opened it and made my way to the TV room. Nothing. “Oh, come on! This worked last time!” I scrunched my eyes tight and focused. Upon opening them, I found nothing had changed. “Dammit! No good!” I huffed and stomped out of the room, then out of my house. As I headed in the direction of the schoolhouse to find my figments of Starry and Tesla, I turned around and looked at my house again. I furrowed my eyebrows and said, “No, this has to work.” I thought about what Princess Luna had told me. I was in control… but under stress— the surgery would weaken it. I really had to concentrate. Remembering something else I’d talked about with Mom, I sat on my haunches and closed my eyes again. In… Out… Deep breaths. Clear your mind. Concentrate. I had to test myself first. I focused on the hat I wore; it was a funny idea at first, but unnecessary. I thought for a moment, then brushed a hoof over my head— no hat. Good, test passed. I opened my eyes for a second and looked at my house again, then closed my eyes once more. Deep breaths. Concentrate. I envisioned my TV room, two cushions on the floor. A perfect spot for two ponies to lie on as they melted their brains in front of a screen. Scrunching my eyes tight, I concentrated, doing the best I could to really believe in what I saw. When I opened my eyes, I stood up and walked to my front door again. I didn’t knock, I just opened it. As I walked through the hallway of the main floor, I heard the faint sounds of blips and pings. The kitchen was mostly dark, but a light shone from the next room. As I approached the threshold between the two rooms, I softly called, “Dad?” The sounds stopped, and I walked through the doorway. “Mmmm-yeeeeeess?” He was laying on a cushion, propping his head on one hoof as he faced me. He patted the cushion next to him, where a game controller lay waiting. “What took you so long?” I smiled. His good old, smart aleck-y self. “Well, I’m kind of in the middle of surgery.” I approached the cushion and plopped down on top of it. “Didn’t stop me,” he said, cocking a brow. I turned toward him and was about to make some kind of witty retort, but his smirk changed to a warm smile. “And it didn’t stop you, either.” He put a hoof on my withers and gave me a soft rub. “Good job, Champ. I’m proud of you.” I smiled as I let a tear well up in my eye. “Thanks, Pop.” I reached for him and held him in a tight hug. After a minute or so, Dad released me and said, “So as I understand it…” He turned around and reached behind him. “…you’ve got some time to kill. Well, this—” He flipped over a disk case. “—had been in development when I left. My team was just putting on the finishing touches.” I stared at the case with an orange pony holding a white, cylindrical device. “Portal 2?” He smirked. “Yep. You want first peek as usual?” “Buck yeah, I do!” “Hey!” He bopped me on the head. “You’re lucky you’re dreaming, buster. Don’t you be speaking that way when you’re awake.” “Heh… sorry, Dad.” “That’s better. Now, come on. You are going to love the final boss battle.” > Chapter 49: Accoutrements > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let go! We’re in space! Space? Space! SPAAAAAAAAA... Ah! Let go! Let go, I’m still con-ee him! I can— “—see him if I want to!” My eyes shot open. “Was that the last cutscene? Did she make it?!” “See? He knew I was coming!” “Huh? What ha—ahh!” I glanced down when I felt a sharp pain in my side. That alone proved that reaching for my head was unnecessary. I was definitely awake. I saw Mom quickly come up to me and rest a hoof gently on my shoulder, pushing me back onto my bed. “Sweetie, don’t worry, it’s okay.” She looked over at my side, right where the pain came from. “That’s where the doctors put in the G-tube. They said it might be painful when you woke up, so what you’re feeling is perfectly normal. Just lay back for now, okay?” I nodded and rested my head on my pillow, then saw Mom turn around. “Tesla, please, relax! You can see him, just give him a minute! He’s just waking up! He hasn’t even seen his new accoutrements yet.” “His what?” I tilted my head up and looked down at myself. Aside from the usual heart monitor stickers, on my lower left side there was a tube sticking out of my gut, part of it stitched to my skin. I followed the tube to the wall, right to the same jar where my NG tube used to lead. Given the choice, I’d say the pain of this new tube felt only slightly better than the one they had rammed up my nose. At least for now… I looked around the room. Mom stood beside me, Tess bounced on her hooves at the door, but I didn’t see Gramma anywhere. I took in a deep breath, wincing at the tug on my side. “The pain should lessen in a little while, honey,” Mom told me. “You came out of surgery a few hours ago; you’ve been sleeping since then. Quite soundly, too. Did you see Princess Luna again?” I took another breath and allowed myself to smile. “Well, yes, but only for a minute. Actually—” I winced again as another jolt of pain flew up my side, then I relaxed my muzzle. “I was playing a game with Dad for a while.” “Oh, sweetie…” Mom started. “That’s wonderful. See? Your father is still watching over you.” She turned to the door. “Okay, Tesla. He seems to be coherent. Come on in, but stay off the bed, okay?” Like Fili-Second, a cloud of dust appeared in the doorway and I found Tess right at my side. “How do you feel? Are you okay?” She glanced over at the tube coming out of my gut. “Blegh, you look like your insides are being sucked out. Oh, wait… I guess they are…” I let out a small chuckle. “Well, somepony’s being pretty blunt.” She looked over to me and answered, “Well, last time I tried to make it sound nice, and you got upset. I figured you’d want a truthful comment this time.” I looked back at her and responded, “Good point. Thanks for remembering.” I put my head back and took a slow breath. The hole in my gut still felt pretty uncomfortable, but Mom was right; it didn’t really hurt as much as when I first woke up. I was right about the surgery’s timing. Tess being there helped keep me distracted from the pain. “Starry wanted to come, too, but his Mom wanted him home; I think his dad is coming back into town tonight and he needs to help clean up the house,” she told me. “S’okay,” I said quietly. I felt a little drained. Not enough to fall back asleep, but enough that I didn’t really want to exert myself. “He’ll have his turn. Thanks for checkin’ in on me.” I held out a hoof toward her, and she clutched it in her fetlock. “Of course! You know I’m always here.” “Yep,” I said. “My own Princess Luna right here in Ponyville.” I smiled as her cheeks flushed, but that smile turned into a grimace as I looked back down at my gut. “Geez, this is gonna be weird.” “You’ll get used to it, sweetie,” Mom said reassuringly. “You’ve gotten used to everything else; this won’t be any different. You’ll jump this hurdle and be back on your hooves in no time.” “Yeah!” Tess added. “Your mom’s right. You’ll be fine.” “Yeah, I guess,” I sighed. “But it’ll still be weird.” “Well that looks fun,” Starry said, staring at the hole in my gut. “Does it feel weird? I can’t imagine it wouldn’t.” “Yeah, it does. It hurt like hay yesterday when I first woke up from surgery, but it’s not as bad now. It doesn’t really hurt as much, but I do get a few jolts of pain occasionally from the stupid stitches,” I answered. “Now it’s just annoying most of the time. It took me a little while, but it felt better this morning after I finally managed to get to sleep last night.” “Did you see Princess Luna again?” Tess asked. “No. I did for a minute while I was in surgery yesterday, but she told me I was strong enough to get through it on my own, and that she couldn’t come see me every time I went to sleep. I understand that— it wouldn’t really be fair.” “Oh hey, Crimson, my parents send their best regards as usual, but especially my dad,” Starry said. “He said he overheard the Princess talking about our meeting. When I told him about it myself and confirmed it, he was practically in shock. We had a nice chat about it, too— he said he was proud of me for acting like a royal guard even though he knows I don’t want to be one. Mom told me he was practically beaming when he went back to Canterlot early this morning.” Tess sighed. “My parents send their best, too, but they still don’t believe that we met Princess Luna. They think the electricity’s going to my brain,” she said, rolling her eyes. I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at that. “It is,” I said, “but electricity is what keeps your brain going in the first place, so that wouldn’t have anything to do with you being a whacko. Which you’re not!” I caught myself before I got into trouble. “Yes she is,” Starry quipped. Right as I was about to glare at him, he added, “We’re all a little whacko, but we’re whackos that are telling the truth!” I smiled at his addition. “Good point,” I said. “Considering some of the crusades we’ve been on, it’d be hard to say we’re not whackos. Besides, who cares what anypony else thinks? We know we met with the Princess and that’s all that matters.” “Right!” Tess exclaimed, her smile bouncing back. As a quick jolt of pain shot up my side, I winced, and she jumped toward me. “Tesla, plea—” “Mom, she is being careful,” I said, cutting her off as Tess simply stood next to me, holding my hoof as the pain eased away. “Take a chill pill, would you? We already went over this yesterday!” I kept a hold of Tess’s hoof and took a breath. “Besides, she’s nowhere near the G-tube.” “Yeah, and I don’t wanna be. Ugh…” “You’re right, I apologize. Maternal reflex,” Mom responded from the window. “I have nothing against you two holding hooves for comfort,” she added with a little smirk. When Tess and I both blushed, Starry asked, “You two wanna be alone? I’ve got some paintings I can work on.” Tess commented first. “What, just ‘cause we’re holding hooves means you can’t be here?” “Yeah, dude, we told you you don’t have to feel weird about it,” I added. “Does it make you uncomfortable or something? It kinda… helps, holding somepony. My mom and gramma did it yesterday when you guys weren’t here.” “Speaking of whom,” I heard from the door, “sorry I took so long. I didn’t want to eat in front of you, sweetheart,” Gramma said. “Thanks, Gram,” I responded. “It does kinda bug me.” “I know. And I was all ready to cook for you before this started, too. As soon as the doctors give us the go-ahead, the menu is yours, okay?” “Sounds good to me,” I answered. That is going to be a sweet, sweet day… > Chapter 50: Think Positive > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So…” Starry started, “if you’re stuck in bed, what are you gonna do in here all day?” “Well, I spent most of my time in bed before the surgery anyway,” I said, “so probably most of the same stuff: cards, puzzles, video games…” I looked over to the window and had a realization. “…but I can’t get up and go to my telescope now!” I’d traded in the NG tube and lost my telescope! Shoot! “Couldn’t we just bring it over to your bed?” Tess asked. “It’s not the same,” I answered, shaking my head. “It’s not as bad when you’re right in front of it, but looking through a window from a distance makes the picture all blurry.” “Bummer,” Starry said. “Yeah… Guess I’ll stick with the games,” I quipped. “You should have plenty to consume your time,” Gramma said. “It won’t be so bad.” “I know,” I replied, “but they can get… repetitive sometimes.” I felt like saying ‘boring’ would be an insult to Dad. Before anypony could say anything else, there was a soft knock at the door before High Flyer walked in, followed by one of the doctors. “Hey, buddy! You doin’ alright? How’s the tube feeling?” I groaned. “Annoying. It still hurts sometimes, but it’s mostly just uncomfortable.” “That’s not surprising,” the doctor said. “Could you describe the pain for me?” “Well, it comes and goes, and it’s usually just for a couple seconds. It feels like something’s pulling at my skin,” I answered. “I’m not sure if it’s actually the tube, though.” “I was about to say the same thing. It’s likely the stitches that are causing you discomfort right now. We need them to make sure that tube stays in place while it clears out your stomach acid,” High Flyer said. “I’m guessing you’ll want to know the next steps before we let you out?” When I nodded, he looked toward the doctor and said, “I figured as much.” The doctor turned to Starry and Tess and asked, “Would you two mind stepping out for a moment?” “Oh… yeah, sure,” Starry hesitated. Tess followed him out, wearing a frown. After the door shut, the doctor explained, “Well, Crimson, I’m sorry to say, we won’t be able to just let you out and have everything go back to normal. It’s going to be a bit of a process. I’ll explain all the specifics later, but for now I’ll give you the most important ones. After your intestines are healed, and you’re able to eat again on your own, if everything else looks good, we’ll give you what we call a ‘button’ to put in the G-tube’s place. It won’t be draining your stomach acid anymore—it’s more like a plug—so instead of having a tube flowing all the way out of you to that jar, it’ll just rest right on top of your coat. If everything runs smoothly for a day or two, then we’ll discharge you; with the button, you’ll be able to walk around like usual, but you can’t participate in any aggressive physical activity. We do that so if Celestia forbid something odd happens, the button will give us easy access to get another tube in, if necessary. However, if you’re eating normally, and nothing funny happens for a good month or so after you’re out of the hospital, we’ll take out the button and let your body heal up on its own. By then, hopefully your digestive tract will be functioning normally again and you can put this whole ordeal behind you. We will still need to scan you every few months, though, just to make sure your cancer is still in a manageable state.” “Sounds fair,” I said. “Much better than the alternatives,” Mom chimed in. “So… what do we have to do now?” “Well, you may or may not be happy to hear this,” the doctor replied, “but now you just wait.” “Really?” I asked, slowly sitting up. “Yes. Before anything else can happen, we need to let the G-tube do its job and drain your stomach acid while your intestines heal; that’s the first step. It will take some time, but after your intestines have healed—and we’ll do a scan to determine that—then you can give liquids, and then solid food a try. We’ll go from there. The good news is that there’s no more major surgery we need to do, but waiting can be dreadfully boring, so I suggest you come up with a few ways to keep yourself occupied.” They had already told me the answer, but I decided to ask again anyway, “Am I gonna have to stay in bed the whole time?” “While the G-tube is attached, yes, I’m afraid so.” “Ugh. Um, how long will it take for my intestines to heal?” The doctor sighed. “Well, with all the trauma your tract has been through, it might be as long as a month.” I slapped a hoof to my forehead, and the doctor nodded and finished, “That’s the bad news.” “Gotcha,” I deadpanned, laying back on my pillow and wincing at a fresh tug from the stitches. “So I basically hafta just sit here and do nothing until my intestines heal?” “Essentially, yes,” the doctor answered. “You’ll get your meds and nutrients through your PICC line, you won’t be able to eat or drink—other than ice chips on occasion—and you’ll need to stay in bed for as long as it takes your intestines to heal.” “Oh, fuuuuuuuuun…” I groaned. “Well, on the bright side,” High Flyer added, “you don’t need to have any more surgery or chemo, as long as things go well.” “True,” I responded. I thought about asking what would happen if things didn’t go well, but I decided against it. “There you go,” the doctor said. “Keep a positive attitude, keep yourself occupied, and the time will fly by. When you’ve finished healing, we’ll try to get you out of here.” He came over and put a hoof on my shoulder. “You’ve progressed quite nicely, Crimson. You should be proud of that. Not many ponies could go through what you have and keep such a positive outlook. You’ll be just fine,” he finished with a smile. Turning toward the door, he said, “I’ll let your friends back in and leave you to your devices. You’re doing a great job, Crimson. Keep it up!” “The doc’s right, buddy. You’re doing great! Your dad would be so proud of you,” High Flyer said with a smile. “Here come your friends. Just hit your button if you need me.” Starry and Tess whisked by High Flyer as he walked out. Tess leapt up and leaned on the foot of my bed as she asked, “So is everything okay? Nothing’s wrong, right?” I lifted my head to look at them. “Well, there’s good news and bad news.” Tess bit her lip. “The good news is that I don’t need any more chemo or surgery.” Tess’s eyes lit up and she ran around the side of the bed. “That’s great! You’re done! When are you getting outta here?” I sighed and responded, “Well, that’s the bad news. It’s gonna be a while. Could be a month.” Starry’s ears flattened against his head. “A month? Why?” “Well, apparently it’s gonna take awhile for my intestines to heal, and I’ve gotta be hooked up to this sucker for however long that takes.” I nodded my head towards the G-tube. “I’m guessing I’ll need to be in here a little longer after that’s done, but the doc said we’ll ‘go from there’.” “Well that sucks,” Starry said. “Yeah, no kidding,” Tess added. “Well dears, there’s only so much that can be done,” Gramma said from the window. “What must be will be, and when it’s over, we move forward.” I shrugged. “Sounds about right.” I thought for a second, then turned to Mom and Gramma. “Would you two mind going down the hall for a few minutes?” Mom’s ears perked. “Oh, did you want some alone time with Starry and Tesla? We can arrange that.” She and Gramma picked up a few things and went out the door without question. “Glad to see they trust me,” I said with a little smile. “So what’s up, dude?” Starry asked. “Yeah,” Tess added. “Aside from the waiting, it sounds like everything’s gonna be okay! What’s wrong?” “Well, that’s just it,” I said. “The waiting. I mean, I’ve been waiting to get all this stuff taken care of, and it sounds like for now, it has been, and that’s great. But… that waiting had some suspense to it. I was consciously thinking about what was going to happen. It made this whole thing kind of… exciting, as weird as that sounds. Now I’m waiting for something definite; I don’t know how long it’s gonna take, and there hopefully won’t be any surprises in between. I’m just waiting for that one thing that I know will eventually happen, to happen, and I have to be hooked up to this junk while I wait. Now it’s just gonna be plain old annoying… And boring. I’m gonna be bored as hay while you guys are at school.” “Ugh, yeah. Sorry, dude,” Starry said. “Is there anything we can get you? Anything we can do?” Tess asked. “For the waiting, I don’t think so,” I said. “Just keep bringing me Miss Turner’s homework. It might be work, but it’ll be something to do.” “Dude, school’s out in a week,” Starry said. “Shoot, you’re right… I’m gonna miss half of summer.” “Miss Turner will be thrilled to hear you actually want homework to do, though— maybe she can come up with a few things. Considering she gave you the Crusaders book, maybe she’ll have some other ideas, too.” “Yeah, good point. Well then, for now…” I looked over at Tess and smiled. I scootched over a little to my left, while keeping an eye on the equipment, then patted the mattress on my right side. “I just need some company.” Tess’s eyebrows shot up, and I nodded with a smile. Starry saw our exchanged glances and simply said, “I’ll take that as my cue to leave. See you soon, dude! Say g’bye to your mom and grandma for me!” With that, he walked out the door. As she came around the right side of my bed, Tess asked me, “Are you sure?” “Hey, you’re on the complete opposite side of the tube. As long as you don’t start kicking me, it’s fine, as far as I can tell.” I patted the mattress again. “Well, no argument from me,” Tess said with a smile, as she gently hopped up onto the mattress and snuggled herself into my right side. As I laid on my back, Tess cuddling into my side, I stretched a forearm around her shoulder. “I’ll be straight with ya, Tess. This stuff is really bugging me. I mean yeah, the major stuff is done, and I just need to wait for myself to heal, but the docs keep saying, ‘if everything goes well’. What if things don’t go well? What if I have to stay here even longer than they expect?” She looked over at me and answered, “Well if you think that way, then you will. Think positive. You’ll be fine.” She smiled a soft smile at me, and I felt the worry just melt away. I smiled back at her and let out a sigh. “You know, that sounds a lot more convincing coming out of your muzzle than the doctors’.” “Well, it helps that I’m a unicorn, silly,” she replied, pecking me on the cheek. “I’m magic.” She giggled before she snuggled back into my side. I held on to the filly next to me and chuckled. “You know, Tess, you are,” I said, the warmth on my cheek spreading down my sides. “You really are…” > Chapter 51: Foal Steps > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Well buddy, your CT scan results are back,” High Flyer told me. “The doctors are on their way with them; they’ll be here in a few minutes.” “Oh Luna, I hope they have good results this time,” I sighed, sitting up. “Me too, buddy. I’ve got my feathers crossed for ya. I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long.” Yeah, me too, but ‘sorry’ isn’t the word I would use. Two weeks after the surgery, they did a scan to see if I had any luck with a fast healing process, but I wasn’t that lucky. They checked again a week later— still healing. A month after the surgery, the amount of time the doctor had predicted, still not finished. I was ready to pitch a fit. Now, at the fifth week, they better give me the all-clear. “Do you know why it would be taking so long to heal?” Mom asked High Flyer. “Well, Crimson’s intestinal tract really took a beating, what with all the chemotherapy and the surgery. It wouldn’t surprise me if his immune system is just taking longer to work everything out because of the trauma. It doesn’t help that he’s already on immunosuppressants; even though we did decrease his dosage when the chemo began, it’s still a bit slower than we had expected. The previous scans have shown that the healing process is happening, it’s just taking awhile. On the bright side, everything else is looking fine. There haven’t been any other complications, and despite everything you’ve dealt with here in Oncology, your heart’s still beating nice and strong.” “Yes, that is most certainly a positive,” Gramma said. “The last thing we need is for Crimson’s heart to start acting up as well.” “Exactly,” High Flyer responded. As the door opened behind him and the doctors walked in, he said, “Ah! The results are in!” “I hope I’m not the father,” I snickered. “Excuse me?” Gramma commented. Mom smacked her face with her hoof. “You haven’t been watching that stupid Rory Ponevich show, have you?” “Heh, maybe.” “You shouldn’t be watching that trash,” Gramma said. “I know,” I chuckled, “but I think it’s all fake. ANYWAY…” I turned to the doctors. “Results?” One of the doctors smirked at the interchange, then he said, “Well, as usual, bad news and good news. Which one first? The usual?” I sighed, “Yeah.” “Alright. Well, the bad news is that sucker’s still not coming out just yet,” he said, pointing to the G-tube. I let out a short grunt. “Good news is that you’ll be getting some water and possibly applesauce later.” My eyes lit up. “Wait— does that mean?” “Yep,” the doctor said with a smile. “You’ve finally healed up. Quite nicely, too. That extra week was definitely worth it. We’re sorry you’ve had to wait so long, Crimson, but it was necessary.” “Finally!” I cried, laying back on my pillow. I’d gotten used to the stitches by now— they really didn’t bother me anymore. “So, how long until I can try something solid?” “One step at a time, Crimson, one step at a time,” the doctor said. “Liquids first. To make sure your digestive tract can function on its own properly, we’re going to clamp your G-tube so your stomach acids don’t drain out anymore and go back to your intestines instead. If you react well enough, and are able to use the facilities normally, then we’ll gradually move on to solid foods.” “Wait, so does that mean you’re taking—well, not taking out, I guess— unplugging the G-tube from the wall? Will I be able to get out of bed?” “Yes, but you’ll need some physical therapy because you’ve lain in bed for so long. With a little help, you should be able to walk around soon enough. You’ll just need to watch the tube hanging from your abdomen. The tube comes in segments— we’ll detach it from the segment closest to your body for minimum drag. We may be able to bend what’s left of the tube before we clamp it so it doesn’t stick out from your body too much, but you’ll still need to be careful,” the doctor told me. “I can help you out with some of your PT, Crimson, but one of the other specialists will come in to give you your initial instructions, okay?” High Flyer added. “Sounds good to me,” I answered. “Can I try something now? To drink, I mean.” One of the other doctors had a small cup of water with her. “Give me one moment, please.” She nodded to the other doctors and approached my left side, holding some kind of clip. Closing it around the tube about half a hoof from my gut, she slid part of the tube away and unhooked me from the wall. Just looking at it felt great, even though the tube was still attached. She bent what was left of the tube in half twice, then took something that looked like one of mom’s binder clips and clamped it shut. “Does that feel alright?” “Kinda weird, but yeah.” “When you start your physical therapy, we’ll need to see if it feels alright while you’re standing up. It may feel a bit weighted. If it does, we may give you a bandage to prevent it from weighing you down. For now…” She gave me the cup of water. “…just take sips. Given how long you’ve been NPO, it wouldn’t surprise me if you want to gulp that down, but take it slow, please.” My throat had been dry for ages—minus the occasional ice chips I was allowed—but I did as I was told. Just a few sips. The water felt amazing flowing down my throat, and I voiced it immediately. “Good,” the doctor said. “We’ll bring you some milk at lunch, then applesauce for dinner. I know it’s not much, but you need to take foal steps. After you’re able to try solid food, if it sits well with you, then we’ll swap that tube out for the button. You’ll still be on your IV nutrients until then. Sound good?” “Sounds like a plan to me,” I answered. “How long do you think that’ll take?” “At least another week, possibly two,” one of the other doctors said. “Not only do we need to make sure that you’re doing alright with the basics, but as we mentioned earlier, you’ll need to have physical therapy as well since you’ve been in bed for so long. We want to make sure none of your limbs have atrophied. You’ll need to continue with the PT for a little while after we’ve discharged you, but you can do that at home. For now we’ll focus on the food and just some simple exercises. Unfortunately, we also need you to hold off on the home-cooked meals.” “Okay,” I sighed. Shoot. Another week before I even get to try solid food. Maybe longer. At this rate, I’ll be here for another month. > Chapter 52: Weak Steps > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “How do your hind legs feel on the floor? It’s been awhile since you’ve done any walking, hasn’t it?” “Yeah. They feel kinda weird, but I can stand on them.” “That’s good. Now come, small steps forward.” The physical therapist didn’t waste any time. I’d just finished my milk, washed down with another small cup of water. Everything seemed to be sitting well. That was a good sign. I’ve never liked slow recovery. Sure, my hind legs felt a little weak, but I could walk normally. The clamped tube didn’t weigh me down, either— whatever that clip was made of was obviously really light. I didn’t want to annoy the therapist, though, so I took a few small steps toward the door where she led me. “Good, good! How does the pressure feel? How is the clamp?” she asked. “Both fine. I don’t need to walk this slowly,” I said, smirking, taking a few quicker steps forward. “Now hold on there— we want you to start slow,” she began. “…but I see that look of determination in your eyes. If you really feel that confident, and you think you have the strength, do you think you can take a lap around the floor with me? I’ll take care of your IV pole.” It sounded like a challenge. The Oncology floor was pretty big, but I felt like I could handle it. “Let’s do it,” I said, continuing my path to the door. About a third of the way around the floor, we passed by Blackhawk’s old room. Another pony was in there now— it had been over three months already. I snuck a glance through the glass; it looked like a little filly was in the bed, taking a nap. I sighed; it still didn’t seem fair. I’ve tried not to dwell on it, though. I’ll never forget him or Stripes, but what happened, happened, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I held back a sniffle, then shook my head and kept walking. Fortunately for me, I was right. My legs felt alright walking around the floor. As I came around the final corner to get back to my room, I smiled. This physical therapy was going to be a snap. As I walked through the door, Mom smiled. “Ah! He hath returned from his adventures!” “Oh hush, Mom,” I replied. Leaning against the side of my bed, I shook out my hind legs a bit. They did feel a bit weak, but I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I had just made a full lap around the floor, and I hadn’t walked in over a month. As I got ready to hop back in bed, there was a knock at the door right at the usual time. I changed my mind and got back on all fours as I called, “Come on in, Tess,” wearing a smirk. “Hey! How are yo— OMIGOSH! You’re out of bed! And is that—” She glanced at my lower left side where the remainder of the G-tube sat clamped next to my gut. “I’m a couple weeks late, but happy birthday,” I said with a smile, holding my forearms open. “You do still need to be careful, though.” She rushed toward me, but true to my instructions, she stayed on my right side, away from the tube, and gave me a hug around my neck while I hooked an arm around her barrel. “Sorry I can’t give you anything more, but I’ve been a little… well, stuck.” “Oh be quiet, silly!” she answered, giving me a peck on the cheek. “All I wanna see is you getting better! And obviously you are! Best birthday gift ever!” I chuckled. “Good to hear. Gimme another couple weeks, and I just might be outta here. Hopefully I’ll be back in time for school to start.” “I still can’t believe you kept up with schoolwork while you were in here. Did Miss Turner seriously come here and give you a test?” “Well, kind of,” I answered. “She came and went over the basics of everything you guys went over in class to see if I got the gist of everything, and I did. The worksheets you and Starry gave me definitely helped.” Tess shook her head and smiled. “You really are amazing, you know that? How do you manage all of this and still keep a cool head?” I hooked my forearm around her neck and gave her a light peck. “My friends help keep me in line.” Her face flushed, and she gave me a tight hug. I glanced over my shoulder at Mom and Gramma, sitting by the window. Both of them just smiled and nodded at me. I guess I’ve learned well… Thank Luna, my luck was finally starting to turn. Just waiting a month for my intestines to heal had been torture. Even though school was out, I'd told Starry and Tess they didn't need to be at the hospital with me all day every day. That would've been ridiculous. Unfortunately, that meant I slept so much during the day sometimes that I had bouts of insomnia. My best nights usually came when I tried lulling myself to sleep just by staring out at the sky, even without using my telescope. Those were the nights I later found myself with my full mane. It took awhile, but after numerous tries, I finally learned how to get myself lucid at will. One or two practice sessions with Princess Luna over that month helped me tremendously. Eventually, I could create dreams of my own with ease. Sometimes I would spend time with Dad, others I’d play with Blackhawk and Stripes, or hang out with Starry and Tess—sometimes just Tess—or occasionally stare at the stars with my own figment of Princess Luna. Princess Luna herself found me in one of my stargazing dreams one night, and congratulated me on how well I’d picked up the technique. She said it was the fastest she’d seen anypony nearly master lucid dreaming. Unfortunately, it was that same dream that almost ruined the ability for me… Looking at my own figment of Princess Luna, and then speaking to the real one, I realized how different they were. It just wasn’t the same as being with the real thing. I didn’t want to say anything to her, but I voiced my disappointment to Starry and Tess the day after. “I mean, I get where you’re coming from, dude, but still, making up your own dreams must be so cool!” Starry said. “Don’t get me wrong. I love being able to make up the things I want to see—especially my dad—but it’s just that… well, when I’m lucid, I know that none of it is real. It used to be that when I had nice dreams, when I didn’t know they weren’t real, I really enjoyed them… and then I’d wake up. But now, when I’m lucid, I already know I’m dreaming, and I know that what I’ve made up is just my own imagination. Like, when I dream about you guys, I’d rather be spending time with the real you. It doesn’t always bother me, but some nights I just don’t enjoy them as much. On some of those nights, I just… well, I’d rather stay awake.” I rested my head in my hooves. “But you need your sleep, Crimson. It’ll help you heal,” Tess told me. “I know,” I sighed. “But when I’m lucid… well, nothing is ever as it seems. And I know that. Sometimes a boring reality is better than an exciting fantasy, even if it isn’t. That probably doesn’t make any sense…” I think some minor depression finally came to light that day after my third scan had said I wasn’t done healing yet. Waiting was taking its toll. Looking back on it, it’s not surprising that I would have felt crummy, even about my favorite ability. I haven’t thought that way again, though— after I finally got that conversation off my chest, I created another dream with Dad that night, and any negative thoughts I’d had about lucidity melted away. I think I’ll be creating some really nice dreams the next few days, especially now that I can finally take the next step to recovery. Maybe I’ll tell Dad the good news first… > Chapter 53: Next Steps > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Morning, buddy,” High Flyer said cheerfully as he walked into my room. I expected food along with him; none of the nutritionists had come in to wake me up, and it was well past breakfast time. “High Flyer, why hasn’t Crimson’s breakfast come yet?” Mom asked from the window. “Yeah,” I added. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually wanted that asparagus this morning.” He sighed before he answered, “I’m sorry about that. I’ve been trying to get in here sooner but I kept getting held up. We’ve got another good-news-bad-news situation this morning.” “Here we go…” I said, putting a hoof to my forehead. “Bad news first, but I’m guessing I know what it is.” “Most likely,” High Flyer replied. “You’re not getting any breakfast this morning.” I groaned. “Why not? The solids have been sitting fine for at least two weeks! I’ve even been getting up and going to the rooms by myself!” I whined. I closed my eyes and put my hooves on my mane, which had started growing back in pretty well. “Exactly,” High Flyer said with a grin. “Didja notice I haven’t gotten to the good news?” At that, my eyes popped open, and my head darted toward my lower left. “You mean—” “That sucker’s comin’ out today, pal. You’ve been recovering quite nicely.” “YES!” I cried, pumping a hoof. “Finally!” After High Flyer finished chuckling, I asked him, “So what is this, like a usual procedure? No eating for six hours beforehoof?” “Precisely,” he answered. “You didn’t ask any of the night nurses for snacks, did you?” “Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “I ate something small around nine last night, but that’s almost twelve hours ago.” “Have you been drinking?” “I had a few sips of water an hour ago with my meds, but that’s it.” “Sounds like you’re all set, then,” High Flyer said with a grin. “Liquids aren’t as big of a deal in this case. Let me get the button and everything else prepped, and I’ll grab Nurse Redcross for the procedure.” He walked up to my bed and held up a hoof. “You ready for the next step to getting out?” I hoof-bumped him and answered, “You better believe it!” “Alright then. I’ll be back in about a half-hour, okay?” High Flyer said, heading for the door. “Sounds good,” I said. High Flyer shut the door behind him, and I heard the quick clopping of hooves toward my bed. I stretched my forelegs up and fell back against my pillow. “Thank Luna!” “Oh sweetheart, this is wonderful!” Gramma said, giving me kiss on the cheek. “Yes, this is great!” Mom added, kissing me on my other side. “If they’re giving you the button, that means only a few more days and you should be able to get out of here!” “I know, finally,” I said with a relieved breath. “It feels like it’s taken forever! I might actually be out of here in time for school! I’ll still have the button in, but it sounds like that won’t be too much of a problem.” “And as usual, our little star takes it all in stride,” Gramma said with a smile, as she and Mom both hugged me from either side. About half an hour later, just like he promised, High Flyer came back to my room with a rolling table. On it sat a tray with a scissor, gauze, and some weird thing in some kind of plastic wrap. I could only assume this was the button— one side had a weird ball on it, and the other looked like a flip-cap, with a small tube holding them together. “Okay, buddy, Nurse Redcross will be here in a minute, but let me just run through everything we’re going to do, alright?” I just nodded at him. “Okay, so before you get worried about it, the scissor is just for the stitches that you’ve got in right now. We’re just gonna snip ‘em and slip ‘em out so we can remove the tube. I do want to warn you, though, it’s gonna feel pretty weird. It might even hurt a little bit. Now I’m not gonna lie, buddy— putting the button in may not feel good, either. Take a look,” he said, holding up the button in its wrap. “You see this ball on this end here? It flattens like this when it goes through incisions,” he said, pushing on the ball so it flattened out. “The G-tube has one of those, too, so when we take it out, it’ll probably feel pretty funky. After the tube’s out, we have to push the button in, so you’ll feel a similar sensation in both directions. Do you understand?” “I think so,” I said with a grimace. “Thaaaaaaat doesn’t look particularly fun.” “To be honest, buddy, it probably isn’t, but the process shouldn’t take long. You see, while the tube’s been in, your stomach has been sitting up against your inner skin instead of in the center of your body. Because of that contact, it usually sticks to your side, but because we want to be certain nothing strange happens, we need to do the replacement quickly. Even though your stomach should stay against your inner side, we don’t want to risk it falling back to its normal position and leaving the button outside of its desired location. Get it?” “Yeah, but I kinda wish I didn’t,” I said, sticking my tongue out in disgust. High Flyer let out a light chuckle. “Well, like I said, it won’t take long.” At that moment, Nurse Redcross walked in. “Ah, looks like we’re ready to go!” “Indeed we are,” Nurse Redcross said. “Has the patient been briefed?” “He has,” High Flyer said. “Wait, briefed?” I asked. Nurse Redcross answered, “When a spy goes on a mission, they have to be ‘briefed’ for their task so they are prepared. Are you prepared for your little procedure?” I actually liked the sound of that. The thought of being like a spy made it sound kind of cool. I took a deep breath and replied, “Yes ma’am, I’m ready.” “Excellent,” Nurse Redcross said. “Let’s flatten you out.” She hit a button on the side of my bed and the back went down. When the bed lay completely flat, she continued, “I know High Flyer explained everything already, but I’ll walk you through everything as we do it. Now, this may not be the most comfortable position, but I need you to turn to your right a bit. We’ll put a pillow behind you for support.” “Okay,” I said, turning over. High Flyer folded one of my pillows and put it behind my back so I stayed in position, then went back to my other side. “Now, I’m clipping the stitches first. It will probably feel a little strange.” As she snipped each stitch, I felt a tiny bit of pressure release from each one of them. It felt pretty good, actually, aside from what felt like little worms slipping from my skin. “This last one may make the tube shift a bit, so if it starts to feel like it’s slipping, don’t worry, alright?” As she clipped the last stitch and slipped it out, the tube did indeed feel like it had moved, but she grabbed it in her aura. “Okay, hon, this is going to be a two-parter. You already know about the balls on the ends of the tube and the button; I’m going to take out the tube and put in the button one right after the other. You’ll feel some pressure each time. Are you ready?” I hooked my hoof around one of the bars at the top of the bed and said, “Ready!” before I took in a small breath and held it. “Tube coming out!” I felt a large pressure in my gut as something got yanked out of my stomach, then popped out of my skin. “Button going in!” I felt a hoof on my right side holding me for support as another force pressed into my left side, followed by what felt like another pop, this time on my inside. The hoof on my right let go, and I felt another, lighter pressure on my left. “That’s it! All done, hon. Great job!” I took in some more air and breathed out as I glanced down and saw Nurse Redcross pressing some gauze against my side, right around the button. It had a bit of a red tint to it; I could only assume it was from some blood. I took in a few deep breaths while High Flyer took over holding the gauze against my skin. “How was that, buddy? Feel okay?” I just kept breathing for a moment. “Is ‘not fun’ the right description?” After another breath or two, I answered, “Yeah, that’s about right. Ugh.” “Did it hurt at all?” “Eh, not really, but it didn’t really feel good.” “Not surprising,” Nurse Redcross said. “The balls that keep the tubes and buttons in place are meant more for function than comfort, unfortunately.” She reached for the up-down button on the side of my bed and asked, “How high would you like it, hon?” “Just leave it for now, if you don’t mind,” I said. “I’ll adjust it after I’m comfortable.” “Alright, then.” She patted me on the shoulder with a smile. “Great job. A couple of days with that in here, and you’ll be out in no time. You can take it from here, Flyer.” “Yes ma’am,” High Flyer responded as she walked out the door. Turning back to me, he asked, “You need a little help adjusting, buddy? That probably still feels pretty weird.” “Yeah, a bit,” I said. Taking a few more breaths, I hit the button on the bed to see where I was positioned. When it started lifting in the middle of my back, I shifted upwards a bit, then pressed the button again. “That’s better.” Sitting most of the way up, I looked down at the button. The little flip-cap poked out of my gut, just like the doctor said it would. It was a little annoying, but no more so than the clamped tube. “Looks like you’re okay, buddy. How about some applesauce?” High Flyer asked. I glared at him for a moment. “We’re back to applesauce now?” He held up a hoof. “Just for right now. You haven’t had breakfast, and I don’t want the first thing in your stomach after the button insertion to be something big. You’ll get a normal lunch, don’t worry.” I let out a sigh. “I was gonna say…” > Chapter 54: Final Steps > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Tess exclaimed as she came up from behind me. “What are you, hiding from me?” I’d been walking around the floor. I felt comfortable enough after lunch to give walking a try. I didn’t need an escort anymore; I’d been going for at least one lap every day since I started physical therapy. Now I had something new to get used to. “No, just going for a test run,” I answered, walking around the last corner to go back to my room. “Test run for what?” she asked, coming up beside me. “Take a look.” I lifted my wing and showed her the button, a new piece of gauze wrapped around the contact point with my skin. “Is that the button thing you told me about?” I nodded, and her eyes lit up. “Wait, does that mean—” “If all goes well, yes,” I said with a smirk. “Awesome!” She nuzzled up against my cheek as I kept pushing my pole forward with my other wing. “Yeah,” I said. “I just hafta get used to this thing. It feels a little tight, but I don’t feel like going through what I went through this morning again with a bigger one. I don’t even know if they’d do that.” “Does it hurt?” she asked. “No, not really. It’s just kinda uncomfortable, but that’s practically how everything is around here.” “Good point,” she said, as we walked through the door back into my room. “So… how much longer—” “A few days in here with this thing, a few more meals, a couple successful trips to the rooms, and I should be outta here by next week,” I answered with a smile as I sat down in one of the chairs. “Yay!” she cried as she hugged me around the neck from behind. I reached up and pulled her head down into my neck to nuzzle her. “‘Yay’ is right,” I said with a smile. “Indeed,” Gramma said from behind me. I didn’t even bother to look, I could tell she was smiling. Tess wiggled her head out from my neck and asked, “Hey, what’s with the bandana?” I’d tied my blue bandana on my forearm. I knew I’d find a use for it sooner or later. “New lucidity cue I’m trying,” I said. “My mane’s growing back, so I won’t be able to use that much longer. Princess Luna showed me a new one.” “I still can’t believe we missed her again,” Mom complained. “Eh, one of these days,” I said. “Anyway, she said something about the complexity of the knot in my bandana. I just need to check it every day so it becomes habit… but it keeps sliding down to my knee.” I pulled it back up to its proper place. “It’s all Prench to me,” Gramma stated flatly. “Believe me, it took awhile for her to explain it to me, too,” I said. “I just gave you the short version. Using my mane as a cue was pretty easy— not so much with the bandana. It’s gonna take me a few tries.” “Hey, whatever works,” Tess said. “I kinda like it— it matches your mane.” “Thanks,” I replied. “At least this way I don’t look like a thug.” I smirked, looking over at Mom. “Well, whatever you’re doing, just keep yourself in line for the next few days,” she said. “The last thing we need is for you to do something silly and have to stay in here longer, especially when you’re so close to being discharged.” “I know, I know. It’s not like I’m bouncing all over the place,” I quipped. “I’ll wait until the button’s out to do that.” Mom glared at me. “Watch it, buster. You’ll still have some physical therapy to take care of when you get home. That comes first. I mean it— no silly business until this is all straightened out.” I didn’t think I really needed the PT, but I didn’t feel like arguing. “Alriiiiiiight,” I groaned. The next few days were more eventful than I expected. The doctors took me off the IV to see if I could get the nutrients I needed from food alone, but they left the PICC in just in case. I could finally take my walks around the floor without the stupid pole, and I was able to do it at a steady trot. The heart monitor around my shoulder wasn’t much of a problem. They also wanted to do one more scan just to make sure everything on the inside matched how I felt on the outside, which was awesome. I mean, I was eating actual food, using the bathroom fine, walking without any major attachments—I don’t count the heart monitor—and I was getting used to the button. So of course, the one day Tess couldn’t come see me in the afternoon, I really wished she was there. High Flyer came into my room with a long face and a folder. I was sitting in one of the chairs by the one table in my room— now that I didn’t have to stay in bed, I tried sitting up as much as I could. “Hey buddy,” High Flyer sighed, coming over to the table. “We’ve got another good-news-bad-news scenario.” I had a feeling he was leading me on again, but I couldn’t tell for sure. “What’s up this time?” I asked, cocking my brow. He opened up the folder. “Well, I’ve got your scan results, your blood results, your nutrient levels…” “And?” “Bad news, buddy.” “What?” “Starting tomorrow, I’m not gonna get to see your smiling face anymore.” He slowly broke into a grin. “Do I need to tell you the good news?” I beamed and hopped around the table to give him a hug. “Congratulations, buddy. You did it!” he said, returning the hug. “Oh, thank Celestia,” Mom said. “You had me worried for a moment, High Flyer. You can’t do that to a mother!” He chuckled. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. With how well Crimson has done the last few weeks, I had no doubt he would be leaving. I didn’t think you’d fall for that charade again.” “I almost did,” I said, smiling. I gave him a small whack on the shoulder. “Mares are sensitive! Don’t do that to them!” High Flyer laughed, “I think I just heard your dad there.” He tousled my mane, which was still filling in. “I’m sure he’s really proud of you, bud. You stuck to your guns and made it all the way through this mess. You’ve just gotta deal with that button for a couple of weeks, but I don’t think you’ll have a problem.” “Nah,” I responded, glancing down at the cap. “I already got used to it.” “Great,” High Flyer said. “Well, I’ve got one more piece of news before I go back to my post.” I looked at him for a second. “Why isn’t it good news?” “Well, it’s kind of both. You’re going to have dinner a little late tonight, so you might get a bit hungry.” “Why?” “Well…” He smirked. “Before you head out tomorrow, we’re gonna take that sucker out tonight,” he said, pointing to my PICC. I glanced at my foreleg. “Seriously?” “Yep. No accoutrements except for the button are going with you when you leave. You’ve done that well,” he said. “I know it was torture, but the extra waiting paid off. Most patients would have to continue their liquid nutrients for at least a week after they leave, but your body’s been working just fine with the food alone. And based on what I’ve heard from your family, you’ll be well-fed at home, so you don’t need to keep the PICC in. Celestia forbid something crazy comes up, we might put one back on your other side, but that’d only be if something really funky happened. You’ve been doing so well, I don’t think you need to worry about it. Just don’t do anything reckless with that button in, got it? Oh geez, now I sound like your mother,” he laughed. “Good!” Mom responded. “He needs to hear it from somepony else— he won’t listen to me.” I laughed, “Okay, I get it, I get it!” “Alright, buddy. Start packing up your stuff. You’ll hopefully be out of here by early afternoon tomorrow. Your mom will just need to go over some paperwork,” High Flyer said. “Have you gone for your walk yet today?” “Not yet,” I answered. “I’ll do that now. Actually, can I use the phone in the hallway while I’m out there? I need to make a couple of calls…” > Chapter 55: Welcome Home > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Ah, at last! I have to say, filling out paperwork is much nicer when it’s something you want to fill out!” Mom said as she walked back into my room. “But it still takes way too long.” “I can imagine,” Gramma replied, gathering a few of my bags near the wall. The room was nearly bare. Mom had taken Starry’s painting, Tesla’s lamp, and my telescope home right after I had my PICC taken out last night. She said it would be best to take the most delicate things back first before we lugged out all my other stuff so they wouldn’t get damaged in the process. Now all I had were my games, books, and a few odds and ends to bring back. I took a look at myself. The stickers were off, the PICC was out, and the only thing I really seemed to have to show for this whole ordeal was the button. My coat was clean, my mane was brushed—my tail hadn’t grown in enough to brush it yet—overall, I felt pretty good. There was a knock at the door, and a few of the doctors, along with High Flyer, came in. “Well, Crimson,” one of the doctors started, “as we say with all of our recovered patients, we’re sorry to see you go, but we’re very glad to see you go!” I laughed. “Thanks. Thank you for everything. It was hard, but thank Luna it’s over!” “That it is,” one of the other doctors said. “For now. Be careful with that button. We’ll have you check back in with us in two weeks, then four. If everything looks good on the fourth week, we’ll take that button out, let you heal up, and then it’ll all be over.” “Sounds good,” I responded. I didn’t want to be a smart aleck right before getting discharged. “Is there anything else we need to do in the meantime?” Mom asked. “Nothing that we haven’t already covered,” the last doctor said. “Go about your normal routine, eat well, don’t lift anything heavy, and stick to mild physical activity. That includes flying— light lift and simple gliding at most. Everything else should take care of itself. If you feel anything strange, do not hesitate to contact us. If anything does happen, the sooner we take care of it, the better.” “Sounds like a plan to me,” Gramma said. I let out a relieved sigh. “So… is that it?” I asked. The doctors all looked at each other, smiled, then turned back to me and said in unison, “That’s it.” I smiled back and just said, “Awesome.” As the doctors filed out, High Flyer stayed behind. He came up to me and said, “Buddy, I’ve gotta tell ya, it’s been a pleasure taking care of you while you were here. You dealt with a lot, but you held out and pulled through. It thrills me to see patients with the kind of strength and courage you’ve got. It gives me hope for all the other patients that come here.” He put a hoof on my shoulder, but I reached out and gave him a hug. “Thanks, High Flyer. It was awesome having you as my nurse,” I said. “Thank you, buddy. I’m gonna miss ya, but like the docs said, I’m really glad to see you go.” He let go and patted me on the back. “Yeah, me too,” I chuckled. “Have a great school year,” he said as he walked out the door. “I will!” I called after him. I took a deep breath and looked around the room. Everything seemed to be in order. I looked at Mom and Gramma and asked, “Well? Shall we go?” “Let’s,” Mom answered. “Indeed,” Gramma said. “So, what’s the first item on the menu tonight?” Walking outside felt amazing. I had to check my bandana when I took that first step out of the hospital to make sure that I was actually awake, but that knot wasn’t going anywhere. The near-end of summer sun and a soft breeze felt like I was flying without any effort. Oh Luna, what a day to get out of the hospital. As we walked through town, I got a couple of waves from neighbors going through the market. Some of my classmates stopped and said hello. I finally felt normal again. When we got back to my house, I found Starry and Tesla at the front door. “Dude, you did it! Welcome back to the real world!” Starry said as he offered me a hoofbump. “Haha thanks, but get over here, ya bum,” I laughed, pulling him into a hug. “Hey, Tess told me we had to be careful— I was just tryin’ not to screw something up,” he said, returning the hug gladly. “That’s why you’re only on my right side.” I tilted my head towards the button. “That’s what you need to be careful of.” “Gotcha. That looks fun. Sorry I didn’t come and see you sooner, I was—” “Oh shut up, ya nut. If you’re painting, you’re painting. Everything doesn’t revolve around me,” I quipped, nudging him in the shoulder. “Actually, it wasn’t that…” Starry said. “Then what have you been up to?” I asked him. “Uh… something else,” he answered. I saw him glancing at Tess, who was glaring daggers at him. “Whatever, s’all good,” I said. Starry let out a breath. I figured I’d find out soon enough. Stepping through a door other than one at the hospital felt great. I walked into the front hall and took in a deep breath. “Aaaah, the good old smell of home,” I said. I turned and walked into the living room to find that some remodeling had been done: Starry’s painting hung over the fireplace, with Tess’s lamp right underneath it on the mantel. “Hey! Mom, did you put those up there last night?” Mom smiled. “I did. I think they make great additions to the room,” she said, heading into the kitchen. I looked over at Starry and Tess, and saw both of them blushing. I guess they didn’t know Mom had placed their artwork front and center in our house. “Yeah, they do! They look great!” I looked over at another picture on our mantel— a picture of Mom, Dad, and me. When I saw it, I remembered something. I opened one of my bags. I’d fit Dad’s feather softly inside; I took it out and walked up to the mantel. Careful of the button, I took a small hop and placed the quill inside the picture frame. “There we go. That way he’s always here,” I said. Gramma smiled. “I like that. A wonderful sentiment. A family room indeed.” I looked around the room, but I didn’t see… it. I called into the kitchen, “Hey Mom, where’d you put my telescope?” “It’s up in your room, sweetie. I thought we’d need a little room in here tonight.” “For what?” She came back into the room carrying a tray of cupcakes. “To celebrate, of course! After almost ten months, you’re finally out and about! I think that calls for a celebration, don’t you? I picked these up last-minute from Pumpkin Cake last night. We’ll plan something bigger for another day.” “Sounds good to me,” I answered, grabbing a cupcake. “We’re still having hayburgers later, right?” “Of course,” Gramma said. “We can’t be skimping on your nutrients right after you’ve gotten out. This is a celebratory snack, not dinner.” Starry and Tess both took their own cupcakes and downed them in one gulp, but I restrained myself. I didn’t want to go back to the hospital over something stupid, so I actually ate mine in smaller bites. Unfortunately, there was only so much we could do to actually celebrate, considering I still had to keep my physical activity low-key. We did get in a few rounds of cards, though. When the sun began to set, Starry and Tess stood up. “Are you two going home?” I asked. “I know there’s not really much to do. I could go upstairs and—” “We’ll be right back!” Tess said, cutting me off. Starry nodded in agreement, and they both headed out the door. “What’s with them?” I asked Mom. “Not sure,” she answered. “Perhaps they have something planned for you.” “Maybe that’s why they’d been acting all fidgety while we were hanging out,” I said. I didn’t know what to expect, but I guess I would find out soon enough. > Chapter 56: Just the Thing > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Only a few minutes after Starry and Tess had left, there was a knock at the door. I expected them back, so I just called out, “Come on in, guys!” The door opened, and Starry came in, backing himself into the hallway. A moment later, a large, wrapped box came through, surrounded by a copper aura. “This way, Tess, you’re almost there,” Starry told her. “Riiiiiiiiight… here.” Tess gently laid the box on the floor and released her aura. Starry sighed, then said, “We weren’t sure how much longer you’d be in the hospital, but we put this together so it’d be here when you got back. We had a lot of help, though.” “Yeah,” Tess added, panting a bit. “A lot of help.” I turned to Mom and Gramma. “Did you know about this?” “Actually, no,” Gramma said. “Like your mother said earlier, we intended to plan something bigger for you later.” “You two little sneaks!” Mom said. “What did you pull behind our backs?” “Actually, we weren’t sure if we’d be able to pull it off in the first place,” Tess said. “Like we said, we got a lot of help.” “From whom?” Mom asked. “You’ll see when he unwraps it,” Starry said with a smirk. “So you’re telling me to open it now?” I asked. “Duh,” Tess said with a laugh. “Just be careful. It’s… sensitive.” “…Okay.” I tore gently at the paper, revealing a golden box with a latch. I looked at it for a moment, not quite sure if my eyes were playing tricks on me. “Is… Is this box actual gold?” Tess and Starry glanced at each other and smirked. “Maybe,” Tess answered. “Take a closer look at the latch,” Starry said. I did as he said; the latch was in the shape of a cre— a crescent moon! There was no way… As I undid the latch, Tess came up beside me. “You said the doctors told you no heavy lifting, so I probably oughta help you with this.” The box’s lid became enveloped in her aura. When she flipped it open, I stared inside, completely dumbstruck. It was a golden telescope, polished to a mirror shine. It looked well-maintained. I looked behind me at Mom and Gramma, and they both seemed just as awestruck as me. “How in Equestria did you two—” “A lot of help,” Starry said. “Quite a bit from my dad, actually. When I asked him to give a message to Princess Luna, he was pretty taken aback. Even more so when she gave him a quick answer.” A flash of light appeared by the window, and there stood Princess Luna herself, a big grin on her face. “‘Twas a message I was quite thrilled to respond to. I am most pleased I could be of assistance in this endeavor.” “Your Highness!” Mom and Gramma both dipped into a bow immediately, but the Princess just chuckled. “Please rise, my loyal subjects. ‘Tis I who should be bowing to you, as I have so rudely intruded in your homestead. ‘Tis wonderful to finally introduce myself. My apologies for restricting my presence to Crimson and his friends. However, seeing as I took part in this endeavor, I felt it was time to present myself and provide a more detailed explanation to this gift.” “Thank you, Princess,” Starry and Tess both said, bowing their heads. “However,” she said, nodding to them both, “perhaps you two ought to begin the tale.” “Oh, um, okay,” Tess replied. She turned to me and started, “Well, Starry and I wanted to get you something together, so we tried to think of something we could both do. Considering how much you’ve been talking about your dreams with Princess Luna lately, we thought we’d ask her if she had any ideas— particularly involving dreams or stargazing.” “Yeah,” Starry continued, “so I asked my dad to give Princess Luna a message, and she gave me an answer pretty quickly.” “I believe my words were, ‘I have just the thing’,” Princess Luna said. “Yep,” Starry continued. “My dad came home with this a few days ago. When I opened it, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was perfect. When I showed it to Tess, she almost fainted.” “Did not!” Tess responded. “You were pretty close,” Starry chuckled. “So, Tess and I wrapped this up, and here we are. So really, this is more of a present from Princess Luna than it is from us.” “Not in the slightest,” Princess Luna said. “Had you not contacted me, I would not have thought of it. Your correspondence is what brought this about. This gift is as much from you two as it is from me.” Starry and Tess both blushed. “As you can see, Crimson, the latch on this box matches my cutie mark. You likely understand what that means.” I nodded slowly. “This… this is yours, isn’t it, Princess?” She smiled. “Indeed it is. This is the telescope I received shortly after I first earned my cutie mark and began my training as Princess of the Night. It has certain enchantments that allow one to see farther than a normal telescope. As my powers grew, I found that I did not need it anymore. While I no longer use it, I have kept it in an ideal condition. I have worried that over the years it would be forgotten, but your passion for the night sky is tremendous. I believe it would be in good hooves in your care, so I happily bequeath this to you as a token of congratulations.” I was nearly in tears. “Princess, I… I don’t know what to say.” “A simple ‘thank-you’ to your friends would suffice. ‘Twas their idea in the first place,” she said with a smile. I looked over at Starry and Tess, and reached for them both, leaning forward to keep the button out of harm’s way. “Guys… thank you. This is amazing.” “Well, make sure you thank the Princess, too. It’s her telescope, after all,” Tess said. “Of course,” I mumbled. I could barely get any words out. I walked up to the Princess and hugged her leg. “Princess, thank you so much. This is incredible.” I looked around the room. “All these gifts…” Starry’s painting, Tesla’s lamp, the Princess’s telescope. Only one thing made my ears droop. Mom caught my expression. “Crimson, what’s wrong? You just said how wonderful all of this is.” “It is,” I sighed. “It’s just that…” I glanced at the small picture frame on the mantelpiece. “I just wish Dad could be here to celebrate, too.” Princess Luna smiled. “Ah, but he is here.” I glanced at the picture frame, then back to her with a sigh. “Princess, I don’t think Dad’s feather really counts.” She simply kept smiling. “‘Tis not what I mean. Allow me.” She lit up her horn, and the golden telescope sprang to life. The mount, the optical tube, the eyepiece, and the lenses all came together into one fully assembled unit. Placing the telescope by the window, she pointed it up toward the night sky. “Despite their massive numbers, I know all of my stars, and that one,” she said, tilting the telescope slightly to the left and adjusting the focus, “is the one we picked out together. Have a look for yourself.” I looked through the eyepiece at the star she’d focused the telescope on. There was a sense of familiarity about it. Despite the different angle, that was definitely Dad’s star. “Thanks, Princess, but I still don’t understand. It’s great to see Dad’s star, but—” “Ah yes, the connection. You see, Crimson, you have overcome a great trial over the past months. A rather rough phase, if you will. Stars go through phases as well. And if I’m right…” she said, looking back through the telescope, “…your father’s star is about to finish a phase of its own. Come— this is nothing short of serendipity.” I looked back through the lens at the star. Like it had done many times before, it glimmered, almost like it was winking at me. But then I noticed something else— it began to change. It got slightly bigger, and changed color. It took on a hue that looked like… red. After it finished, it sparkled once more, only brighter. I was awestruck. “How… what just— did it really?” The gears in my head seized. Princess Luna smiled. “Crimson, everything in our world—our universe—is connected. The bond you share with your father has not ended. He has watched over you since the day you were born, and even in the afterlife, he continues to watch over you. Despite the lousy cards you were dealt, you played them well. You’ve overcome your trials, and are ready to move on to the next phase of your life, just like your father’s representative. For as long as you live, your father will be there to watch over you… as your very own crimson star.” At the mention of my name, the gears in my head started turning again. The connections… They’d been true with Blackhawk. They’d been true with Starry and Tesla. And now they were true with me. Everything was connected somehow, just like Princess Luna had said. It all made sense. I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but things just… made sense. I looked through the eyepiece of the telescope and smiled. The star sparkled once again, as if it knew I was watching. “Thanks, Dad,” I whispered to myself. “You really helped me make it through. I keep being told I already have, but I’ll make you proud. I promise.” I heard a unanimous gasp behind me, but I was too engrossed in Dad’s star to pay attention. When I finally looked back at everypony, Mom, Gramma, Starry, and Tess all stared at me with their mouths agape, but Princess Luna just sat there with a smile. “What?” I asked. “What’d— Wait, I’ve seen that look before!” I whipped my head around, and there it was, adorning my flank: my cutie mark. An eight-pointed star, a lighter shade of red than my coat. Looking back out the window, I said, “It looks just like Dad’s star when it sparkles…” I looked back to Princess Luna, and found her patting Starry on the shoulder. “You truly do have a gift, Starry Knight.” Starry cocked a brow at her. “Huh? What did I have to do with any of this?” “Well,” Princess Luna began, “Why did Crimson start watching a star to represent his father?” “Because you said he should,” Starry answered. “And what had happened just before I suggested it?” Tess looked up above my fireplace. “You saw Starry’s painting for the first time.” “And what did Starry include in his painting?” Princess Luna asked. Starry’s eyes widened as he turned around and looked in the upper right corner of the painting. “A… A crimson star…” “Precisely. Call it an inspiration,” Princess Luna said with a smile. “Wait…” I started. “Princess, did you cause me to get this cutie mark?” “I did not,” she said plainly. “I simply gave you a nudge in the proper direction.” “So you knew I would get this cutie mark? But I thought you couldn’t predict the future.” “I cannot. That doesn’t mean I can’t influence it when it is appropriate. I normally refrain from such actions, but I had a strong hunch about you, Crimson Star.” I smiled. “You’re right. I really can’t imagine anything else.” “I’m glad you’re satisfied. You truly do have a bond with the stars. I can sense it in you.” She looked out the window. “Those bright and shining stars in the darkness will always be there to guide you.” I thought to myself, Hey… Shining Stars… That’s pretty good. “If you wish, we may remain in contact. Perhaps one day I can teach you a thing or two about astronomy. However, you have more pressing matters to attend to for now. You must finish healing first, and school to complete. After that, we can converse further.” “That sounds great, Princess,” I said, unable to get much volume out of my throat. “I have only one other thing I can offer you at the moment,” Princess Luna said. “What’s that?” I asked. She smiled and extended a hoof. “My friendship, young gentlecolt.” My eyes dilated. “Of… Of course, Princess! I’d be honored!” I couldn’t help it— I dipped into a bow. “The same goes for the rest of you,” the Princess said. Turning to Mom, she began, “You have raised a fine young colt. All of his hardships have also been yours. You are a fine parent, and should be proud of yourself. You as well,” she said, looking at Gramma. “You raised a fine son, who in turn raised a fine son, and you stepped in when you were needed most. You are a wonderful grandparent.” “Thank you, Your Highness,” Mom and Gramma said, both bowing. “You, Starry,” the Princess continued, “you truly do have a gift. Your inspiration allowed me to give Crimson the nudge he needed during his time of strife, and you are a true friend. Keep up the good work.” “Thank you, Princess,” Starry replied. Looking back at his painting, he asked her, “Maybe… maybe I could make something for you sometime? After I’ve practiced a bit more?” “I would be thrilled. You will only improve with time. When you feel you are ready, do not hesitate to make contact. And you, dear Tesla,” the Princess continued, approaching Tess, “your heart is true, as is your skill. You were able to give Crimson those final days with his father, and have since dedicated your own time to his comfort. You are a truly devoted companion. He is lucky to have a filly as wonderful as you by his side.” Tess blushed as she gave me a hug. “Thank you, Princess. None of this would have been possible without you, though. Thank you for keeping him with us.” Everypony else nodded in agreement. “Nay, ‘twas not my doing. The strength and love in this room was more than enough. May that ring true for many moons,” the Princess said, putting a hoof on my shoulder. “Yeah,” I responded. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Starry wandered over to Tess and me, and I whispered to him, “Well, looks like you did it right back to me. Your painting got me my cutie mark, too.” “Heh. I guess you’re right. I never would’ve thought.” I heard Mom ask, “Your Highness, I apologize if this is impolite, but may I impose upon you?” She held up a camera in her hoof. “That is just a wonderful visual.” I looked up at Princess Luna standing above me, with Tess and Starry to my left and right. Figures Mom would want to take a picture. “T’would be a pleasure.” Mom beamed. “Oh, wonderful! This is just amazing! Come, you three, get together!” I pulled Tess closer, and as I dragged Starry into the picture, I could feel my bandana slip again, but I didn’t bother with it. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, two cheeks against my own, a forearm hooked around my neck, and a hoof on top of my head as Mom said, “Smile!” > Chapter 57: Year in Review > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- There’s nothing like the feeling of relief somepony gets when they’ve finally jumped a huge hurdle in their life. After I left the hospital, I spent about a week at home just to get used to feeling ‘normal’ again, despite the end-of-summer weather. It actually felt really weird not being in the hospital; it had essentially been home for the past ten months or so. I was finally able to go back to school at the start of the new school year. I got to spend time with my classmates again, Miss Turner talked to me quite a bit, and I managed to keep up with the program, despite all my time being away. Although, now that I think about it, I had done a pretty good job keeping up while I was admitted, so I guess it wasn’t too hard. I’m lucky I’m smart… and modest… Aside from coming back after being gone for a year, returning to school with my cutie mark certainly gained me a fair bit of attention. When I told everypony how I got it, there were mixed reactions: amazement or jealousy over the inclusion of Princess Luna, apologies because of my dad, and generic congratulations were the most common ones. It wouldn’t surprise me if colts and fillies liked the attention when they got their cutie marks, but because of all the stuff that intertwined with how I got mine, it got tiresome pretty quickly… and sometimes upsetting. Fortunately, it kept most of the attention away from my button. After the two follow-up appointments, the docs took the button out, and I was finally able to go about my usual business. It took a little over a week for the leftover opening to heal up; a gauze pad around it kept the hole from leaking. Other than that, things went pretty smoothly. I went back another two weeks after they removed the button for some confirmation testing— a scan, bloodwork, x-ray, all that stuff. When everything came back normal, the doctors declared me in remission. We went straight to Sugarcube Corner after that. Starry, Tess and I went back to our usual hanging out together in and out of the schoolyard, it just didn’t include planning crusades anymore. We usually talked about our latest excursions with our talents. Starry made enough messes that his parents finally turned their basement into a studio for him. He was like a… paradox, I think the word is. He was still a neat freak, but he always seemed to make a mess of things. I grabbed a few astronomy books from the library and started mapping out the night sky on my own. I watched the sky every night that I could, looking for any patterns I may have missed in the past. That was considered ‘boring chatter,’ so we didn’t go into my research much. I also re-checked the lifespan of red giants— it thrilled me when I confirmed that they lasted a really, really long time. Tess was the most fun to talk about. Instead of tree sap, like it used to be with the three of us, most of the time her shenanigans ended with power outages. She also pulled the occasional zap on Starry and me— electricity seemed to be connected with her magic somehow. While I had appreciated the gesture before, I finally asked Tess and Starry to stop dyeing their manes and tails. Now that I was back at home, it just felt kind of unnecessary; I thought it would bring attention to me when I really didn’t want or need it anymore. It took some time to grow out for the both of them, but eventually Tesla’s silver-and-purple hair came back in. I joked with Tess that I liked her color combo much better than Starry’s straight black hair, but I swore I’d never say so in front of him. Even though he didn’t want to follow in his dad’s hoofsteps, as the son of a royal guard, he was really proud of his colors—he said they reminded him of battle wounds—so I kept my mouth shut. I asked Brick to stop dyeing his mane, too, and he was totally fine with it. I’m happy to say he didn’t lose the confidence it had given him when he first started doing it. I chatted with him quite a bit, and he kept up his good reputation. Sure, he had his bad days every now and then, but I could usually pick him up again if he needed me to. Our shared losses helped us bond. While Starry, Tess, and I did get to spend our time together again after we finally established that Starry wasn’t a third wheel, whenever he stepped away from our trio, Tess and I would hear giggles from our classmates. Obviously they considered us an ‘item.’ It was annoying at first, but we finally learned to just drown it out, and they eventually gave it up. That is, until Tess’s birthday came around again… Right as the school year was ending, about a month before Tesla’s birthday, I started looking for ideas. The light that she made for me had stayed in its special place on our mantelpiece at home. I missed giving her anything for her birthday last year because I was stuck in the hospital, so I wanted this year’s gift to be special. I wanted to make her something myself, like she had for me, but I was never good with my hooves. I tried to think of something that would have some meaning for her instead. I got some unexpected help when I ran an errand for Mom on the way home from school one day. I had gone to see the local alchemist, Topaz Moon, to pick up some energy crystals. Mom always had a thing for alternative energy, so she was thrilled when Topaz set up shop. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask her for some ideas; even if she was selling forms of alternative energy, I had a feeling she’d have a good grasp of electricity, too. I got a lot more help than I anticipated. Topaz told me that many of her crystals conducted electricity, not just magical energy. At first, I didn’t think that would help me much— until I spotted a crystal that matched Tesla’s eyes perfectly on Topaz’s shelf. When I asked her about it, she told me I’d hit the jackpot of conductive crystals— it turned out to be copper. I never would have thought of copper as a crystal. I asked Topaz if there was something I could do with the crystal that would make a cool birthday gift. I thought that just giving Tess an energy crystal would be weird—it would’ve been like giving her a battery—even if it did match her eyes. When I said that out loud, Topaz mentioned something I hadn’t even thought of— a lot of stallions tended to get their marefriends jewelry that matched their eyes. I could have the copper shaped into something. I’d never seen copper at the jewelry store, though. The problem was that I seemed to recall Tess not being fond of jewelry; our school lesson on the Changeling Invasion a year or two ago had a small section on the wedding itself, and Tess remarked how ridiculous the rings looked on the Prince and Princess’s horns. Then again, it’s not like this was gold. Jewelry made out of copper would not only match Tess’s eyes, but be related to her talent— it would have meant something if I used it that way… …But I was still wary about giving Tess jewelry. If I was going to give her something, it had to be just the right thing. Necklaces and bracelets were really common among mares in town, but I wasn’t sure if Tess would feel comfortable wearing something like that. I brainstormed with Topaz a bit, and when I mentioned Tess’s full name, Tesla Coil, Topaz said she had an idea. Since my mother was a regular customer, Topaz said she’d do something special for me. She asked what my mother needed for that day, and we made the necessary transaction. Then she told me to come back in about a week, and she ushered me out. I wondered what she had planned, but she sounded confident. My mother always had great things to say about Topaz and her work, so I had a feeling whatever she had in mind would at least be worth a try. It turned out to be perfect. It was a tail coil. Since she had some sculpting prowess, Topaz shaped it out of the copper herself. It would wrap around the base of Tesla’s tail. It wasn’t too big, so it could be discreet, and it wouldn’t shine in everypony’s faces, at least from the front. I could tell it would be better than a gold necklace for Tess. I paid Topaz more for the labor of creating the coil than the actual crystal, and she even gave me a discount on that. I thanked her profusely, went home and wrapped up the coil, then waited another week for Tesla’s birthday to come. Well, I had told Topaz it had to be just right, and it most definitely was. Just like she had done for me with her neon light, I gave Tess the copper coil in private. What I had thought about her opinion of jewelry was wrong— Tess absolutely loved it, so much so that she flashed it to everypony. I didn’t stop hearing about it for weeks, and neither did anypony else, especially the ponies that almost got shocked, literally. Honestly, I don’t think Tess has taken it off since I gave it to her. Mom went back to teaching at the Arts Center with a normal schedule. One day after school, I went there with Tess, and I properly introduced her to Center Stage. It ended with much less drama than the first time I met her. Tess and I even went to a recital, and I had to get her to sit on her tail so her coil wouldn’t fly off. Life seemed to be back to normal, or at least what I would consider normal. I still checked in with my cardiologists like I usually did, but now I had to meet with the oncologists every so often, too. Other than that, everything seemed just fine. The only thing that bummed me out was that I didn’t see or hear from Princess Luna for a little while, so I eventually took the initiative to remedy that. It was the best letter I ever wrote. And the easiest, since I always kept my favorite picture on my desk for inspiration. END ACT I > Chapter 58: Entr'acte Part I > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fighting cancer is one of those experiences that never leaves you, even if you go into remission. Some would think this to be obvious, but some ponies believe that once you go into remission, that’s it, it’s done for, and you never have to think about it again. I thought that at first, but I later found out that’s not what the term ‘remission’ actually means… I managed to finish high school and start college without much trouble. I went to school in Baltimare— the university had a great Astronomy department, and Gramma lived close by if I needed her. Unfortunately, at the end of my second year, I had a relapse. As it turns out, ‘remission’ just means that nothing shows up on a scan, and there aren’t any obvious symptoms. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the cancer is completely gone, though. I had to take medical leave from school to go back to Ponyville, and my studies suffered for it. After another few rounds of treatments, I eventually got better, but my doctors still didn’t want me going back to Baltimare in case something happened. After waiting too long to go back to school at the risk of forgetting everything I had learned, I was able to transfer to Canterlot University and continue my studies there. It was close enough to Ponyville that I could take a train back home if anything did happen, and if all else failed, a trip to Canterlot Castle got me the attention I needed. Princess Luna and I kept in touch often, so if I ever needed an emergency ride to the hospital back home, the castle staff happily obliged. I made a good first impression with them— coming into my dreams generally put Princess Luna in a better mood when she had bad nights, and that made their jobs a lot easier. The level of thanks I received the first time the staff actually met me was pretty unbelievable. My transfer to Canterlot U absolutely thrilled Tesla, who had gone there to study Electrical Engineering. She had been upset when I decided to go to Baltimare— it was so far away, and the long-distance relationship was tough on us, but we managed. When she found out I planned to transfer to Canterlot, it didn’t take her long to find an apartment where we could move in together, and I certainly had no objections. My relapse was mild enough that I was able to go to CU and finish my studies without too much trouble. My trips home to see the doctors didn’t interfere that much. Coincidentally, my being behind in my classes and Tesla’s extra years of study for engineering timed it so that we graduated in the same year. Our mothers had a field day with the cameras. Tess and I decided to stay in Canterlot after we graduated. My setup with Ponyville General worked through my first year at Canterlot U, but when I grew old enough that I had to transition out of pediatrics, I switched to the Canterlot hospital system. I was afraid going through all of my history with new doctors in a new city would be difficult, but it wasn’t as crazy as I thought it would be. In fact, it was a great move. As an adult, the doctors had access to certain medications that the pediatric doctors didn’t. When scans began showing more serious signs of cancer again right after I graduated, I asked them about trying some alternative treatments that I had heard about from Zecora. Unfortunately, they said that even though there had been some studies that the Zebras had conducted theorizing alternative cancer therapies, there wasn’t enough evidence that the treatments would actually work. Instead, they suggested that they start me on a treatment that was still in its trial phase. I would have preferred trying Zecora’s methods if I was going to be a guinea pig anyway, but the trial was just more convenient at the time, so I decided it was worth a shot. Starry had gone to Manehattan for school, and like Tess and me, he stayed there after he graduated. He thought it would be easier making a name for himself among art dealers and galleries, so he decided it was for the best. He would come and visit us in Canterlot every now and then, though; it was always nice having the trio together again. When Tess and I teased him about being a third wheel, he shrugged it off. Apparently, the city life wasn’t only good for making a name in the art world. Everypony knows the nightclubs in Manehattan are the best places to pick up mares— or at least that’s what Starry told me. Apparently, the ‘battle wound’ black-and-blue he sported was actually a pretty good one-liner. I never would have guessed. Overall, Starry turned out to be right; he became well-known among small-time dealers and eventually worked his way up the art ladder. One of the gallery owners Starry worked with suggested a small style change to his mane. He was wary about the idea, but he thought he’d give it a try, so he dyed a simple teal streak to match his eyes in his mane and tail; while it ruined his ‘battle wounds’ line, it did become his signature look, and eventually, so many ponies recognized it that he started getting commissions from practically every well-known pony in Manehattan. He stopped even needing his pick-up line. Who knew? From time to time, I brought Tesla up near Canterlot Castle’s gardens at dusk to take a look toward the castle’s balcony. Occasionally we would catch a glimpse of Princess Luna, and every now and then she would come and say hello if she saw us. If we weren’t lucky enough to catch her eye, we would just try another night. Eventually, we went up there enough times and met with the Princess enough for her to keep watch for us every evening at sundown. Tess and the Princess got to know each other well enough that they even had occasional magic lessons, where the Princess would teach Tess some advanced spells that bordered on alicorn magic. I had to steer clear of those; Tess’s frequent exposure to electricity magnified her magic somehow, and I definitely didn’t want to get hit by a stray blast. The Princess would usually let me into the Royal Gardens during those lessons. After a few of those meetings, Princess Luna made me an offer I couldn’t refuse: she gave me my own key to the Gardens. Ponies generally weren’t even allowed near the Gardens, let alone inside them, late at night. It was one of the best places for stargazing, though; there was almost no ambient light once the path lights were turned off. After all the time we spent together, both in real life and the dreamscape, the Princess knew that she could trust me to keep the place tidy at night, even when I wasn’t really supposed to be there. Tess and I both had research and projects to keep us busy, but despite that, I still managed to focus some time on the foundation that Dad started for me. Fortunately, I had plenty of support with that. I had to do some work getting things organized exactly how I wanted them, but there’s only so much that can be done when legalities come into play. Unfortunately, right as I was establishing the proper branches and positions for ponies of the foundation, another medical hang-up occurred. After about three months on the clinical trial, I spiked a huge fever one night, and Tesla rushed me to the hospital. Apparently, the trial didn’t do as much as the doctors thought; it just suppressed the symptoms. After a week of testing to find the problem, they started me on a new chemo regimen which kept me in the hospital continuously again. Ugh… > Chapter 59: Entr'acte Part II > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- At the start of the new regimen, the oncologists determined that I had tried enough unsuccessful treatments that the best way to treat me from there was to do a stem cell transplant. When they started talking to me about the risks, I listened intently, right up until they mentioned something that I had forgotten: stem cells are made in the bone marrow. When I heard that, the first thought that went through my head was White Stripe, and I couldn’t think about anything else. When the doctors finished their explanation, I was too freaked out to ask about the connection with Stripes, so I spent a week worrying my flank off about it. It certainly didn’t help Tess any. She didn’t leave the hospital unless my mother came all the way from Ponyville, which unfortunately, was an infrequent occurrence. Since I had received my own laptop for college, I used it to video chat with her, so she usually didn’t really have a reason to come visit. I kept telling Tess to go back to the apartment and get some rest, but if nopony else would be there, she consistently refused. The regimen the doctors put me on was strange. I felt like crud during the first round, probably because they spent a week searching for infections before they actually started the new therapy— five straight days of four different medications. The weird part was that during the second round, I actually felt great. I never thought chemo would have made me feel so good. When I told the doctors that, they got really excited and decided to do an early scan. It turned out that I had such a good reaction to the therapy they gave me, the scan showed no signs of cancer after only two rounds. But, like I said earlier, that didn’t mean there was nothing there. It did change the doctors’ outlook on my situation, though. The doctors decided to do what they called an autologous stem cell transplant, which meant they would take out my own stem cells, then give them back to me later to try and actually cure the cancer instead of just manage it. The idea confused me until they said it would require more chemotherapy first, and that there had never been any signs of cancer in my bone marrow. That made a little more sense. They also told me there were some pretty major differences between an autologous transplant and an allogeneic one— that’s where I would have gotten stem cells from somepony else. There were more details involved, but I generally try not to get too deep into the explanations unless somepony asks. When I mustered up the courage to mention White Stripe, the doctors took a look back through Ponyville General’s records, and understood my worry. Aside from having an allogeneic bone marrow transplant, which is much riskier, White Stripe also had other problems that caused the transplant to fail. Normally, they wouldn’t have been allowed to tell me that, but they told me they contacted Stripes’ mother and dropped my name, so she gave them permission to tell me the reasons why, as long as they gave her my contact info. I agreed, of course, and that led to a long conversation with her. She wanted to know how I was doing, she couldn’t believe I was still dealing with this, but was glad I was okay, and wanted to get together the next time I came home. It was a conversation I was perfectly happy to have. The doctors explained that while there are obviously risks to an autologous transplant, they’re much less intense and common than those associated with an allogeneic one, aside from the potential for another relapse due to possible residual cancer cells being left. The point, though, was that they intended to wipe out the rest of my internal system to enough of a degree before they collected my good stem cells, that there would be a slim to nil chance of my having another relapse. That made me feel a lot better about the whole thing, and became the deciding factor that convinced me to consent to the transplant, despite how scary it sounded. After another round of chemo, they cycled out my stem cells, then gave me what they called ‘conditioning chemotherapy.’ That’s the stuff that wiped out my system. It wasn’t too bad at first, but after a couple of days, I was always exhausted, despite laying in bed doing nothing every day. To my relief, the doctors said that was totally normal. Mom came up from Ponyville so Tess could take a break, but the stubborn filly still wouldn’t leave. With my mother there, I eventually managed to convince her to go back to our apartment for a few days of proper sleep—all the hospital had to offer her was a chair—but on the day of the stem cell transplant, she was right back at my side. About two weeks later, my overall levels came back amazingly high— for a post-transplant patient, at least. The doctors couldn’t believe it. No joke, they practically kicked me out— they said I had recovered so quickly that I didn’t need to be there. All I had to do was stay out of public places as much as possible and avoid foals for the first couple of months—100 days, to be exact—until my next scan. Then they’d let me know from there. I spent most of that time at our apartment playing games, watching TV, doing some occasional work, and helping Tess out when she needed it. Just short of three months out, everypony was thrilled to hear that the transplant appeared to have worked; based on my blood tests and the scan results, the doctors declared me back in remission. I felt fine, everything related to my heart was going well, and anything cancer-related appeared to have gone away. The celebration Tess and I had the night that I got the results from the scan was anything but dull. After that, Tess and I went back to the usual routine: research, projects, foundation work, etc. I still had to be careful, because I hadn’t quite hit that 100 days yet, but it wasn’t too terrible. When I hit the 100 days, the hospital gave me clearance to do most massive public activity again, but neither Tess nor I were particularly fond of that kind of stuff anyway, so it didn’t really matter. When my year-out scan came back completely negative, we were told that as far as the doctors were concerned, I was cancer-free. The transplant had done its job. I’m pretty sure the party Tess arranged a week later was the biggest one I had ever attended. I can’t even remember all the ponies that were there. Family and friends from home, college, work, and practically any other aspect of life, both mine and Tesla’s, that I can think of were there. Even Princess Luna showed up for a moment, wondering what the commotion was all about. When we told her, she congratulated me and resumed her night-time duties. In reality, Tess had invited the Princess to the party, but she had to decline, so Tess and I had been invited to the castle two days before the party for a private royal celebration, but nopony was supposed to know about that. After about two years of a fairly routine lifestyle, in the medical world and the ‘real’ world, I felt that things were finally going smoothly enough that I started thinking about something else. I was nervous at first, considering all the medical stuff I had dealt with. I was afraid it might be a contributing factor in the decision. In the end, I felt the answer was clear. I had quite a few ponies I could turn to for help and advice, and I wanted it to be perfect. My mother was a huge help, as well as Topaz Moon, and I even got some tips from Princess Luna. I didn’t know it at the time, but she was even there when I did it. When she told me, it made sense. Some things about that night had seemed just a little… too perfect. Not that I complained, of course. I’ve been through a lot in my life, not all of it good. I’ve dealt with pain, loss, and many problems that few ponies have had to experience. Some wonder how I managed to stay sane through it all, and whenever they ask, I always tell them it’s because I’ve had support from my family and friends. I may have to deal with more of those problems for the rest of my life, but despite all the pain, all the loss, the hang-ups, the obstacles, all of it— as long as I have family and friends to support me, I think I’ll be just fine. Especially since one of them decided to be both. > Chapter 60: A Jump Ahead > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A knock sounded at the door to the chamber. After a few moments, a small crack appeared, and a dark blue eye peered out from amongst the shadows. “Tia, why did you wake me?” A glance at the clock revealed that it was two o’clock in the afternoon. “You of all ponies should know that this is the peak hour of my slumber.” “I apologize, Luna. I know full well not to wake you, but somepony has a message for you in the main hall. He refuses to leave without speaking to you.” “Can he not wait until dusk?” “He insisted on seeing you before his shift; he is on duty tonight.” “One of the guards?” Luna let out a harsh sigh. “Very well. I will be out momentarily.” Shutting the door, Luna shook her head. Why must my guards be so serious? I have told them countless times, they may speak with me while they are on duty… About ten minutes later, Princess Luna passed her sister and descended the stairs to the main hall, bleary-eyed, but presentable. A lone unicorn stallion stood by the door, a thick envelope hovering in his aura beside him. The princess instantly recognized the red-coated messenger running a hoof through his blue-and-yellow mane. When the Princess approached, the stallion dropped into a bow. “Good day, Your Highness. I apologize for waking you, but I was instructed to give this to you personally, and I have my usual early shift tonight.” He offered the Princess the envelope. “Ah, Aegis Spark. How lovely to see you off duty.” Luna accepted the offering with a slight glare. “Although, as I have told you before, you are allowed to speak with me during your shifts.” “I understand, Your Highness, but this is a personal affair. You know how I feel about discussing personal affairs while on duty: if I refuse that right to my company, I cannot do it myself.” “Yes, I am aware.” Luna sighed. “You really must lighten up once in a while, Captain.” Luna glanced at the writing on the outside of the envelope, which read: ‘Urgent! For Princess Luna’s Eyes Only!’ “‘Urgent,’ you say?” The Princess smiled, recognizing the hoofwriting. “While it is certainly a change from ‘Important,’ your mother is still quite predictable.” The Princess did not receive a smile in return. “Actually, Your Highness, this is urgent.” Aegis Spark’s stoic facade faded as he bowed his head. Luna’s light-hearted expression faltered as she opened the envelope. Dear Princess Luna, The time I have been dreading has finally arrived: my shining star has passed on. The first line of the letter caused the Princess’s eyes to widen as she brought a hoof to her mouth. She shot a quick glance at her captain, his eyes still downcast, before she continued reading. However, I am pleased to say that it was not in the manner I feared. The doctors said that it was not due to any medical complications; it was simply his time. I still believe it was too soon, but any mare would say that when she loses her husband. At our age, it is simply a waiting game. I have started making preparations for the funeral— when they are complete, I will send the information to my son and have him deliver it to you. If it is at all possible, we would be honored if you would attend, if only to make a brief appearance. Before he passed, Crimson told me that he had spoken to you fairly recently. He said he could tell his time was coming, but decided not to inform you— I apologize for that. He never liked breaking bad news to others; he usually avoided it whenever possible. But never in my dreams did I think he would, or could, hide something so crucial from you. Speaking of dreams, I hope you do not tire of hearing this, but I truly must thank you for keeping in contact with Crimson for so long. I know you two frequently communicated by mail for literary reasons, but his dreams were where he felt his strongest, and he told me often how pleased he was to be able to speak with you when he could always be at his best. I believe it was your influence that kept him with us for so long. After all you have done for him, and for our entire family, he did not want to disappoint you. Luna smiled. And he never has. While I know I have seen you face-to-face quite a few times, it has always been an honor when I do, especially on the particularly special occasions. I am still incredibly flattered you presided over our wedding. (Again, apologies for the lamp in the Royal Gardens on that other special night. I can’t believe you saw that! You taught me well— maybe a little too well!) I would like to thank you for visiting my dreams also, however infrequently. Every time Crimson went back to the hospital, I always feared I would lose him too soon. Over the years, you helped me avoid succumbing to those fears. Had it not been for you, I probably would have lost my sanity years ago, along with my beloved husband. There is something I would like to show you. Apparently, on top of everything else he has written, Crimson also wrote a book that he kept secret from us. He finished it recently, and revealed it to me before he passed. Somehow, I feel like he intentionally timed it that way… In the book, he discussed a variety of topics, but most of it was related to his battle with cancer. There were many mentions of you, and how you helped him through his rougher patches. A few excerpts from the manuscript are enclosed with this letter— with your permission, I would like to publish the book. A friend of mine is an editor at Manehattan Publishers Inc., so I reached out to her for some publishing information. Thanks to Crimson, and his father, I have all the funds required. My friend is ready for me to give her an application for the manuscript once I have your permission; she even offered to proofread it. If it is accepted, I would donate any proceeds from book sales to the Shining Stars Foundation. I hope I have not taken too much of your time. However, there is one more thing I must tell you: Crimson wanted to give you something very dear to him. It was his wish that you have it, for all that you have done for us. Unfortunately, I cannot have the Captain give it to you directly (I STILL love being able to say that! My Little Spark, the Captain of the Royal Guard— it makes my heart soar!). I do not know exactly when it will arrive, but it will hopefully be within the next few weeks; another letter should be accompanying it. It would be an honor if you accepted this gift. You have my utmost gratitude for everything you have done for us, Princess (My apologies— after all these years, it’s still too strange to address you solely by your name, even in writing). Crimson lived a long, happy life thanks to you. He was honored to be able to call you a friend. While his passing is upsetting, it gives our family solace to know that it was peaceful; he had no regrets. As the love of my life, the father of my son, and my best friend since as long as I can remember, he will truly be missed. Your Loyal and Grateful Subject, Tesla Coil PS: The photograph (you know the one) has been on his desk for as long as I can remember. We spoke of that night frequently and fondly. Thank you for helping to make it possible. Luna shook her head ever so slightly. ’Twas none of my doing. She found more sheets of paper behind the letter, but decided to read them later. As she returned the papers to their envelope, Luna brushed a tear from her eye. She looked back at the captain, whom she caught doing the same. “Captain Spark, I offer you my sincerest condolences. It has truly been an honor to know your father; I am proud to have called him a friend.” The Princess walked towards him and gave him a soft embrace, a gesture which he gladly returned. “…Thank you, Your Highness. It only happened last night— it still hasn’t quite sunk in yet.” “I understand.” She put a hoof on Aegis’s shoulder. After a brief pause, she smiled. “Would you like to take the night off, Captain?” His eyes went wide. “Your Highness! I— thank you for the offer, but even under the circumstances, I have a duty to my company! They—” “Does your company know what has happened?” “Well, yes, but—” “Then they will understand. You are relieved of duty tonight, Captain. I will inform the night guards when your shift begins. In fact, why don’t you join me in the royal dining hall tonight at eight? While I have kept a fair amount of contact with your father over the years, I can only assume that there are things about him I still do not know. I will need as much information as possible if I am to write a proper eulogy.” Aegis took a moment to contemplate the Princess’s words. “Your Highness… I…” “That is alright, is it not?” “Of… of course!” Princess Luna smiled. “Excellent. Please inform your mother of this development so she does not book somepony else.” Aegis Spark gave a teary-eyed salute. “Will do, Your Highness!” he said, before turning to exit the main hall. “One moment, Captain.” He whipped back around to face the Princess. “I have another message for your mother.” “What is it, Your Highness?” “Tell her that her ‘Little Spark’ does his kingdom proud with his leadership. Had he been able to, I am positive that Prince Shining Armor would have passed the torch to you himself. While I feel that Princesses Twilight and Cadance may disagree, I believe you are the best captain to have graced Equestria with his service. You just may end up with your own statue in the Gardens someday.” Luna flashed him a little smirk. “T’would be rather appropriate, considering your family’s history in there.” Though it could not be seen under his coat, Aegis blushed. “Th-thank you, Your Highness. I will be sure to tell her.” Just before he turned for the exit again, he caught the Princess staring at him. She let out a soft sigh, then shook her head just so. The Captain crooked his brow and asked, “Something else, Your Highness?” The Princess raised her brows slightly as she said, “I expect you are tired of hearing this, Captain, but you truly are the spitting image of your father. Except for—” As if by routine, Aegis finished, “My horn— I have my mother’s horn.” His muscles relaxing, he softly chuckled as the Princess nodded. He glanced behind him at the shield, crested by three circling lightning bolts, adorning his flank— one of the few other attributes he inherited from his mother. “Anything else, Your Highness?” “Yes, Captain.” The Princess smiled. “You may drop the formalities when you join me in the dining hall later tonight. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to my chambers and rest if I am to fulfill my royal duties at sunset. I refuse to be at less than my best when I am on duty.” Aegis smiled back. “As you wish… Luna.” The Princess glared at him. “I said later, Captain.” He instantly reassumed his stoic expression and gave a sturdy salute as a small bolt escaped the tip of his horn. “Apologies, Your Highness!” The glare softened as she said, “Accepted… Aegis.” Luna winked at him as she let a smile play upon her muzzle. “Please give my regards to your wife and little ones. And watch those bolts— we’ve had to change enough lamps on the grounds as it is due to your family’s antics.” With a barely audible chuckle, Luna turned around and ascended the staircase. “Absolutely, Your Highness.” As soon as the Princess was out of sight, Aegis dropped his hoof. Thank you, Princess. My family owes you more than I can ever explain. But maybe I can try tonight… > Chapter 61: A Shining Star in the Darkness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I cannot say I am surprised. I had a feeling that stallion was hiding something important from me when we last spoke in the dreamscape, but why this? Could he not allow me to say a few parting words? As Princess Luna walked down the lonely corridor leading to her room, her thoughts strayed to the other papers enclosed in the envelope Aegis Spark had given her. Which begs the question: how did he find the time to write something else? Crimson wrote astronomy books for years; he always contacted me to ensure their accuracy. So why… and how… did he keep this one from me? What could he have written that Tesla Coil would feel the need to ask my permission first before publishing it? When she arrived at her chambers, Luna found Celestia in her doorway. “Luna, my apologies if you feel that I was spying, but I saw your conversation with Captain Spark. I could not hear what he said, but your expressions… Did the Captain’s father—” Celestia cut herself off when she saw the restrained tears in her sister’s eyes. A moment later, Luna simply nodded. Celestia put a hoof around her sister’s neck and said, “Oh, Lulu, I am so sorry. I know you two have been friends for ages.” Luna accepted her sister’s embrace, attempting to keep her composure. When she broke from her sister, Luna quietly asked, “How did you know?” Celestia sighed. “Well, as I said, your expressions gave me a clue, but I was not entirely sure. I only confirmed my suspicion when I heard you say the word ‘eulogy’.” Celestia gave Luna a small smile. “That is very kind of you, by the way. I am certain your friend would appreciate it. As does his family, I assume.” Luna nodded. “While normally I would find such a thing inappropriate—you know I do not want our subjects to think we ‘play favorites’—this time I shall make an exception. Now, if you don’t mind…” “Yes, absolutely,” Celestia responded, allowing Luna to enter her chambers and close the door behind her. Celestia let out a sigh, then a flash appeared beside her. “Why don’t I ever get the night off?” “Because you don’t have work hours, Discord,” Celestia deadpanned. “Don’t give Luna any grief for a while, do you understand me? She may have a sense of humor, but you know how she is about—” “Oh, believe me, Celly, I wouldn’t dream of it.” Discord put on a sarcastic grin for a moment, but it quickly dissipated as his eyes went downcast. “Ever since Fluttershy… well, suffice to say, I know Luna is dealing with enough grief. I never thought I’d ever hear the end of it after my own little display at that ribbon-cutting at Ponyville General.” Luna laid down on her bed and opened the envelope once again, this time extracting the other papers mentioned in the letter. The first sheet was titled: A Shining Star in the Darkness. The Princess smiled as she put a hoof to her mouth, recognizing the phrase. She knew she had to rest, but the title alone had hooked her. She dove into the words written on the paper. As a colt, I spent more time in the hospital than anywhere else. I went to school like any colt or filly, and I learned the same things as my peers, but my necessary immersion in the medical world prevented me from living what I thought to be a normal life. At the time, that was the one thing that I wanted, but knew I could never have. Little did I know, leading a “normal” life would not have made me the pony I am today. During trying times, I was lucky enough to have friends by my side. They supported me through thick and thin, no matter the consequences. Over the years, I discovered that friends can be found anywhere, whether they be down the road, or in a room across the hall. Sometimes, great friends can even be miles and miles away… in a royal castle, perhaps. ~~~ I already had good friends that supported me when I first learned I had a battle to prepare for. However, shortly after my cancer diagnosis, Equestria’s own Princess of the Night graced me with her presence. As if summoned by my father’s prayers, she guided me through some of the worst times of my life. As an avid stargazer, and would-be astronomer, I was always fond of the nighttime. My first impression of Princess Luna was an all-knowing, all-seeing deity that had power over not only the night, but over death itself. During a face-to-face conversation with the Princess, she corrected me. I now have a better understanding of what she may or may not be capable of. However, I still believe that our Lunar Princess gives herself far less credit than she deserves, even to this day. ~~~ In the midst of an already-troubling time, the loss of new friends, as well as my father, struck me incredibly hard. The process of losing my father gained my future wife her cutie mark, but this did not provide either of us any solace. Fortunately, Princess Luna once again came to my aid during this painful time. Seeing that I considered myself such an avid stargazer, the Princess introduced me to a method of keeping my father close, despite his passing. Keeping watch on a star to represent my father each night helped ease my grief, but only slightly. Little did I know, Princess Luna had a bigger plan. Suggesting a particularly bright star as my father’s representative, Princess Luna set the wheels of my future in motion. After watching this star nightly, I witnessed its transformation into a red giant, the same day I went into my first remission. It was my very own crimson star. While our humble Princess may deny it, I still insist on crediting her for helping me earn my cutie mark that day. ~~~ Despite the feeling of darkness that engulfed me during such hard times, Princess Luna pointed me in the right direction— straight to the light that would lead me home. My true guide had been Princess Luna from the beginning— from the start of my treatments, to the loss of my friends and father, to the earning of my cutie mark. She helped me through it all. I eventually reached a point in my life when I finally understood what it meant to find comfort in darkness. Something that many ponies fear, I learned to revere. As ruler of the night, Princess Luna can command the darkness, which also gives her the power to shed light on it. Though watching an actual star may have gained me my cutie mark, that was not my perception of the situation. With Princess Luna as my guide, I knew I could never go wrong. My friends were my night sky, and Princess Luna was my compass— my bright and shining star in the darkness. ~~~ After a number of brutal chemotherapy treatments, I was blessed to be able to leave the hospital in remission (for the first time). One more congratulatory visit from Princess Luna was a crucial point in my life. Aside from earning my cutie mark that night, I was honored to receive an offer of friendship from our Princess, something that I would have been a fool to decline. To this day, the friendship I share with Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna, is, and forever will be, one of my most treasured possessions. ~~~ Years of experience have taught me that when communication between friends is limited, the friendship between them can fade. As contact lessens, the bonds of friendship may weaken, and eventually break. However, it is my strong belief that friendships can last forever if you allow them to. Keeping in touch, however minimally, extends the life of a friendship. The more contact you keep, the more likely it is that a friendship will last. The more effort you put into keeping that contact, the stronger the bonds of friendship become. Distance is a non-issue. Even when the furthest distance possible is created—the end of a pony’s life—the bonds of true friendship still cannot be broken. If a pony has made an impact on his or her friends’ and family’s lives to the extent that they will never be forgotten, their spirit lives on. Even something as powerful as death is still no match against the bonds of friendship. This is a belief that I shall take with me to my grave, along with my most valued friendships. ~~~ Princess— There are plenty more segments that mention you, but I felt these would be the best to give you an idea of the book’s topics. Please let me know what you think. —Tesla Coil Princess Luna placed the papers on her pillow. She allowed a single tear to drop from her cheek onto the bedsheets before wiping the rest away with her hoof. After all her years of keeping in contact with the pony she had met when he was just a colt, the words from the same pony as an old stallion touched her in a way she had never felt before. Though she knew she needed rest, there was something Luna had to do first. She exited her room and trotted down the hallway. Her destination was a long walk from her bedroom, but Luna wouldn’t be able to sleep until she completed this new task. When she finally arrived at the doors to the library, Luna opened them silently, spotting Princess Twilight Sparkle seated at a desk in the back, with a rather hefty dragon by her side. As she approached the desk, a smile broke upon Luna’s muzzle. The dragon put his claws to his ears as she calmly asked, “Ah, time for the weekly archive?” The youngest princess jumped in her seat. “Luna!” Twilight shook her head with a small chuckle. “You always do that. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? And why didn’t you jump?” she queried her assistant, who took his claws from his ears. Spike shrugged as he continued organizing the papers in front of him. “I figured Luna’d pop in at some point. Besides, I heard her comin’.” Twilight glared at him. “Then why didn’t you warn me?” Spike grinned. “‘Cause I like it when she pranks you.” He looked at Luna and winked, earning a wink in return from her, and a nudge to the shoulder from Twilight. “What? I can’t pull one on you without getting a death stare! She gets away with it scot-free!” He turned to Luna with a quizzical look. “But it’s kind of early, and you usually use the Royal Canterlot Voice…” Twilight’s expression changed completely when she looked at the clock. “That’s true… It is awfully early for you to be awake, Luna; is everything alright?” Luna nodded. “Yes… to a degree. While I seem to have accomplished it anyway, I am not here for my usual prank.” She couldn’t help but smile when Twilight gently shook her head with a smile of her own as Spike returned to shuffling the papers in front of him. “Do you happen to know where the royal checkbook is?” Twilight rummaged through a drawer in the desk. “Corvus told me he put it in here somewhere… Ah, yes, it’s right here. Do you need something?” Luna nodded. “I wish to write a check out to the Shining Stars Foundation.” Twilight smiled. “That’s the fund for pediatric cancer patients that he started, right?” Luna nodded again. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard you talk about it.” Luna switched to shaking her head. “I know. ‘Tis a shame, too.” Twilight smiled. “I can write the check for you, if you’d like.” Luna shook her head once again. “There are specifics to be written in order to send it to the appropriate ponies. Thank you, but I will take care of it myself.” “I understand.” Twilight nodded and gave her the checkbook. As she grasped the financial tome in her aura, Luna replied, “However, I would appreciate it if you would do something else; could you write a letter for me, Twilight?” “Of course! To whom?” “Please write to Manehattan Publishers Inc. and ask them for any and all information they may have on a manuscript entitled A Shining Star in the Darkness, including its potential publishing costs. If they claim to have nothing, tell them their editing department should. They will be receiving an application soon; please request that they contact me when they do. Oh, and tell them not to inform the applicant of our contact. I will do that myself.” “I can do that.” Twilight smiled again. ‘Shining Star’ was a phrase she had heard in multiple contexts over the preceding years; it always pointed to the same origin. “Thank you, Twilight. Now if you will excuse me, I must accrue a few more hours of sleep before sunset.” Luna sighed. “I think that’s wise.” Twilight turned back to her desk. “Spike, you know the drill.” When the youngest princess and her assistant were out of earshot, Luna whispered to herself, “Yes, a few more hours… but I have to write a letter to a certain widow first.” Luna exited the library, heading back to her bedroom. The checkbook and quill hovered in front of her as she filled out the specifics. She had written them multiple times before, so it only took a moment, but it had to be done properly. After snapping the book closed, she began determining what she would write to Tesla Coil, including her permission and funding for the publication of the book, along with the high likelihood of its acceptance. However, something kept intruding into Luna’s thoughts. …A gift? > Chapter 62: The Gift > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Luna!” A loud pounding echoed through her chambers. “Luna! Get up!” A minute later, the deadbolt clicked open and a small crack appeared along the door frame. A dark blue eye peered out from the shadows, blinking in the light. A harsh sigh emanated from within. “Tia, why are you waking me? I hope you have a good reason for pounding upon my door.” Celestia spoke quickly, “I do, Luna, I do. You need to come and sign for something in the main hall.” Luna yawned. “Please tell me you jest, Sister. Can you not sign for it? You know I have been in need of proper rest.” “Yes, Luna, I know. But they say they require your signature. Besides, I really think you’ll want to see this!” Luna rubbed her eye with a hoof and let out another yawn. Celestia’s voice softened as she said, “Luna, I know yesterday was hard for you, but believe me, you will not regret coming out right now. I think this is it!” The previous evening had indeed been hard for Luna; the funeral was still fresh in her mind. While she led the service flawlessly, she had not slept well the whole week prior. Frequent cries during her sleeping hours could be heard throughout the halls, eliciting visits from concerned guards. However, the funeral was now over, and Luna was pleased with her performance. She had honored her friend as best she could. She knew that was all he would have wanted, and his family had been beside themselves. All Luna wanted now was a good day’s sleep, but her older sister was depriving her of it. “What are you talking about, Tia? What makes you so positive this will excite me?” “I checked the return address on the paperwork.” Celestia looked around before she put her head to the door and whispered, “I think it’s the gift you’ve been waiting for.” The visible pupil in the door’s opening dilated as Luna went from groggy to attentive in a flash. “WHAT?” The single word, accidentally conjured with the Royal Canterlot Voice, echoed through the halls as Luna slammed the door into Celestia’s head, knocking her onto her hindquarters. “Give me a minute!” Was that really necessary, Luna? Celestia thought as she rubbed her temple. Then she called through the door, “I will be downstairs with the delivery stallions, Sister! Be sure to look presentable!” Luna rushed into her restroom with a harsh sigh. Why do you think I told you to give me a minute? A brush surrounded by a blue aura quickly flowed through her mane. “Yes, Sister! I will meet you in the main hall!” A few minutes later, Luna rushed to the stairs, stopped short at the top, and gracefully descended the staircase at a proper pace. She found Celestia speaking with one of the delivery stallions, who held a clipboard and a quill in his green aura. “I apologize for requesting that you wake her, Your Highness, but as I mentioned before, this delivery came with specific instructions. Princess Luna must provide the signature… and I dare not disobey instructions from the walking shock-stick.” He shuddered. Celestia smiled. “There is no need to apologize. If the package is addressed to my sister, she should naturally be the one to sign for it. Ah! Here she is now.” Celestia glanced at one of the guards, then leaned down to the delivery stallion and whispered, “If I were you, I would be careful how you refer to the Captain’s mother— you never know who’s listening.” The stallion’s eyes darted left and right to the guards in the room while Celestia chuckled. As Luna approached the delivery stallion and her sister, she watched as three more stallions carried in a moderately-sized, thin, square crate. Her eyes widened for a moment, but she quickly dismissed the thought. “G-Good day, Your Highness,” the stallion said nervously, the reverberating shout from a few minutes ago still ringing in his ears, along with Princess Celestia’s words. “I apologize for waking you, but I was given specific instructions that you had to sign for this package personally.” He levitated the clipboard and quill to Luna, who took them in her own aura and provided the required signature. “It is quite alright— thank you. Is there anything else I must know regarding this delivery?” The stallion released a relieved breath. “Yes, Your Highness. Please read the accompanying message first before opening the package; it’s important.” He pointed to the front of the crate, where an envelope was attached. Luna nodded. “Again, thank you. If that is everything you require, I will be retiring to my chambers.” “Yes, Your Highness. That’s all.” The delivery stallion bowed, then turned and waved to his crew. “Come on! Don’t dally— we have more deliveries to make!” After carefully laying the crate against the wall, the crew galloped for the door, followed by their leader. After the princesses watched the stallions exit the castle, Celestia glanced around the main hall. Satisfied that the two of them were alone, sans a few trustworthy guards, she looked at Luna with an imploring grin. “You’re not really going to go back to bed now and make me wait to see what this is, are you?” Luna cocked a brow at her sister. “Surely you jest, Tia.” Without a second thought, Celestia and Luna simultaneously approached the crate. “Good. Especially after the thoughtful gift you gave me, I believe you owe me that much,” Celestia said sarcastically, pointing to her head. Luna spied a noticeable lump on her sister’s temple and cringed as she put a hoof to her mouth. “Heh… Sorry, Sister.” Celestia rolled her eyes. “It’s fine. Now remember to read the message first.” As Luna glared at her sister with a ‘Do-you-think-I’m-deaf?’ expression, she detached the envelope from the crate. Celestia gave the package a quick once-over. “Do you know what it is?” Luna removed a sheet of paper from the envelope. “I can think of one thing that would be this shape, but I cannot imagine he would give it to me.” She unfolded the paper to find hoofwriting that seemed vaguely familiar… Dear Princess Luna, When Crimson first told me that he could sense his time was near, I was devastated. As one of my best friends, I could not bear the thought of losing him. Unfortunately, he said it was just his time, and we could do nothing about it. Crimson consulted me to obtain my approval to carry out his intentions. I told him that since this had been a gift for him, he could do with it as he wished. When he asked if it would be okay for him to give it to you, I told him, absolutely. I will repeat the same thing I said to him: if you accepted this gift from Crimson, it would be an incredible honor for me as well. This particular item holds a special place in my heart. While I believe Crimson’s battle with cancer was the true source of it, in Crimson’s eyes, this is the very thing that earned me my cutie mark. It took me ages to think of a name for it; I hope it is to your liking. Thank you for keeping my friend with us for so many years. Please cherish this gift as Crimson did. Your Loyal Subject, Starry Knight Luna’s eyes widened as she read the letter, her initial suspicion as to the crate’s contents becoming more and more likely. They bulged when she read the signature, which was practically a guarantee. Dropping the note, she whispered to herself, “S-Starry Knight?” No… it couldn’t be… did he really…? “Sister? Is everything alright?” As Luna visibly quivered, Celestia mistook her appalled expression for fear. “Is something the matter?” “I… I think…” As Luna moved toward the side of the crate, she carefully unlatched the hook that held it closed. A quick glance inside revealed the form of an ornate golden frame. Luna’s front hooves shot to her mouth, she lost her balance, and fell onto her rump. The guards chuckled quietly as she stared at the open crate with her eyebrows curved upwards and whispered, “He did…” Celestia suppressed a laugh as she watched her sister take her turn to fall, but the expression on Luna’s face confused her. “Sister, who did what?” She picked up the note Luna had dropped. Luna was speechless as she slowly rose to her hooves. When she once again stood on all fours, she approached the open side of the crate. Focusing power to her horn, she cast a steady levitation spell. Slowly backing away from the crate, she carefully pulled the precious item from its container. After completely removing it, Luna leaned it against the wall. She gazed at the portrait of herself alongside a young colt holding a telescope. Celestia observed the painting for a few moments. “Luna, it’s beautiful. Who—” When she saw the ‘SK’ in the lower-right corner, she cut off her question, then asked a new one. “Is this one of Knight’s works?” Celestia was familiar with the renowned artist. One of his paintings of Canterlot castle hung in the royal dining hall, though the signature on this piece looked significantly different. It lacked the trademark teal streak on the ‘t’; in fact, it was only his simple initials. She quickly read through the message that had accompanied the painting, including the postscript on the back that Luna had neglected. Luna nodded. “As far as I am aware, it is his first piece that he would deem of professional quality. Knight showed me a few of his early works— some of them were quite good, but he was most proud of this one. That stallion was talented from an incredibly early age.” Looking up from the note, Celestia smiled. “Agreed. He may consider it an honor for us to be in possession of this wonderful work, but—” Luna finished the sentence for her, “It is even more of an honor for us.” The two princesses nodded at each other. “Tia, would it be alright with you if I am rather selfish as to the placement of this piece?” “Sister, it was a gift for you. You may do with it as you wish.” Celestia quoted the message from Starry, grinning. “Thank you, Tia.” “But do tell me, what do you have in mind?” Celestia asked. Luna slowly broke into a smile as she turned her head towards the upper floor. Celestia nodded. “I’m certain he would be thrilled to be up there.” Luna nodded as well. “I will write to the Captain’s mother and let her know of his new location.” After a moment, she chuckled and turned to her sister. “Perhaps I also ought to inform her of her reputation amongst the delivery service…” Celestia shot a hoof to her mouth and attempted to suppress a snort. > Chapter 63: Wise Words > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Where is it?” Luna paced about her room, searching. “It must be in here!” she growled, as she gave a mighty beat of her wings. This provided her with enough lift to get a brief glimpse of the item she looked for. It sat on a high shelf, just out of sight from the floor. She breathed a sigh of relief, retrieving the scroll. Celestia glanced through her sister’s doorway just as she landed back on the floor. Curious, she knocked on the door and opened it fully. “Luna? Is everything alright?” Various objects lay scattered about the room. Luna turned to her room’s entrance. She took a deep breath and calmly said, “It is now. I feared I had lost this.” She levitated the scroll down to show her sister. Celestia arched a brow as she entered the room, maneuvering through the chaos that could have rivaled Discord. “That looks like one of the friendship letters Twilight sent me long ago— but the paper seems less… aged.” Luna smiled and shook her head. “It is not, but you are close, Sister. To my knowledge, this is the only friendship letter sent to this castle by means other than dragonfire…” She carefully unravelled the scroll, revealing only the top line, which read, ‘Dear Princess Luna.’ “…as well as one of the few friendship letters addressed to somepony other than yourself.” Luna beamed. This took Celestia by surprise. The Elements’ friendship letters had been compiled into a novel ages ago. Had Twilight known another letter had existed at the time, even if it was not one of her own, she probably would have asked Luna’s permission to include it in the book. However, since Celestia herself had never seen this particular letter before, Luna clearly prized it as her own private possession— Celestia respected that. While she had a feeling she knew the answer, Celestia asked, “Who is it from?” Luna smirked as she said, “Take a guess.” That confirmed Celestia’s suspicions. With a smile, she said, “I thought so.” Luna nodded. Celestia debated asking, but her curiosity got the best of her. “May I read it?” Luna sighed. “I wanted to read it again myself. But yes, you may join me. Come, Sister.” Luna carefully trotted to her bed and settled herself on top of her sheets. Celestia sat next to her as she unrolled the rest of the scroll. “If my memory serves, I received this a few months after he was released from the hospital. At that point, he was in his first state of remission. I do not remember why, but until I received this letter I had not contacted him, even in the dreamscape. I am thrilled he sent it to me; this letter is the reason I kept in contact with him so frequently from then on.” Celestia nodded, inwardly laughing at herself. Twilight’s compilation could not have possibly included this letter, since it had already been published earlier. “I see. I must admit, Sister, I am upset that I do not know as much about this stallion as you do, aside from the fact that his family is quite adept at breaking castle property,” Celestia chuckled. “He seems to have been quite the pony. Although, it may have been for the best; ever since you began contact with him, you became much more… open— as a sister, and as a princess. My interference may have hindered the bond you shared.” Luna thought for just a moment before responding, “Share, Sister. The bond we share.” Celestia cocked a brow, and Luna smiled. “I will show you the excerpt later, but if I remember the contents of this letter correctly, you will understand soon enough.” Celestia shrugged as Luna’s aura unravelled the scroll to the bottom, then they both began reading. Dear Princess Luna, It’s been a long time since I’ve seen or heard from you, dreaming or not. I’m sure you’re busy, so I wanted to send you a letter to ask how you were doing. I should have done this sooner. If you don’t already know, I’m doing alright for now. The doctors say there’s nothing to be too worried about, but they’re keeping an eye on me. Your telescope is absolutely amazing! My dad’s star looks fantastic, but I can see things in the sky that I never knew were there! I won’t bother listing them— I’m sure you already know all about them. I use it every week, and I’m keeping it in good condition. Thank you again for this incredible present! Celestia interrupted their reading for a moment. “That was very generous of you, Luna. You cherished that telescope as a filly.” Luna nodded. “Indeed I did, but I no longer needed it. Had I not gifted it to him, it would have sat around without seeing the dark of night. In his possession, I knew it would be put to good use in careful hooves. His grandchildren adore it, and I trust the Captain with its maintenance. Now please, let us continue.” “My apologies, Luna,” Celestia responded, turning her attention back to the scroll. I also wanted to tell you that I recently came across a copy of Princess Twilight’s compilation of the friendship letters to Princess Celestia. They were quite inspiring, and I find that I can relate to many of them. However, a thought went through my mind: all of the letters were addressed to Princess Celestia. Unless you were the subject of the letter, I rarely found your name. I know that Princess Twilight was Princess Celestia’s personal student at the time, but it still didn’t seem fair to me. Since you have given me the honor of calling you a friend, I thought I would try my hoof at writing my own friendship letter. This one, however, is for you. Over the last ten months that I have fought this trying battle with cancer, I learned that friends can be made anywhere, at any time. A friendship may be accidental, or meant to be. However, even if a friendship is made by accident or coincidence, that does not make it any less important. As you know, I made two friends this year that I am sad to say are no longer with us, but in the small time that I enjoyed their company, they made an incredible impact on me. Losing them taught me to treasure the friends I still have with me even more. I knew I had to fight on in their honor, for the sakes of my friends, my family, and myself. From their friendships, I found the strength I needed to continue fighting. In that sense, I choose to believe that my friendships with them have not come to an end; their spirits live on in me. I don’t know if I’ll need to battle again in the future, but if I do, I’m sure they will help me again. Shortly after my battle began, I was given a message from a pony that lost his daughter to cancer. It was about hope, and the importance of not giving it up. I believe that message can also apply to friendship. With this new application in mind, I would like to share it with you: “Friendship is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” This idea only reinforces my belief that my friends that now lay beyond are still with me, and I will continue to hold on to that belief, in this life and the next. Based on what you told me about connections when I first got released from the hospital, I came to hold another belief based on all the events that occurred: when it comes to friendships, there are no accidents and no coincidences. They all happen for a reason. Whether that belief applied to me or another pony, it doesn’t matter. My friends, Starry Knight and Tesla Coil, both believe that had it not been for me and my family, neither of them would have earned their cutie marks. While I had my doubts at first, I have come to be more accepting of the notion, because it seems pretty clear to me that your influence led to me getting my cutie mark. Whether you agree or not, I would like to give you the same credit Starry and Tesla have given me. Princess Luna, I have a strong feeling that had you not been present during my battle, I would not be here today. Your guidance helped me overcome the pain of losing two of my friends, as well as my father. If you hadn’t been there to show me how to keep “contact” with him, I doubt I would have earned my cutie mark. Though you told me you are not able to predict the future, your ability to influence it helped me tremendously. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. Your Loyal and Grateful Friend, Crimson Star P.S.: As a friend, I would like to make a request. In the future, I want to do some astronomy research. I’ll probably focus on it seriously when I go to college. I’ve already started reading a few books from our library, and your telescope has opened up a whole new universe of information for me, but you are the greatest source of information I think I could ever find. You mentioned teaching me yourself when you gave me your telescope, but I don’t want to hold you to that unless you are willing and able to make the time. I know you are very busy. When the time comes, though, it would be an honor to have your input on a subject that I’m sure you know like the back of your hoof. I will treasure your friendship always, Princess. If it comes to mean as much to you as it does to me, just remember this: while I am aware that you will not go beyond (as far as I know), even when I am gone, I will always be with you. Those were some of the last words my father spoke to me before he passed away, and I hope that when my time comes, they will bring you the same peace they brought me. Luna set the scroll down on the bed, letting out a deep sigh as she slowly smiled. And now that time has come… She turned to look at her sister, who returned her look with a smile of her own. “Wise words for a young colt,” Celestia said. “Indeed,” Luna responded. She turned away from her sister and looked across her room, where a painting now hung in a place of honor on the wall opposite her bed. Underneath sat a plaque: Title: “The Lunar Apprentice” Artist: Starry Knight Inspiration: Crimson Star and Princess Luna Luna sighed. “Crimson Star, I must thank you for the bond we share. Your friendship has meant more to me than you shall ever know.” She swept a tear from her eye. Celestia draped a wing over Luna’s back and gave her a soft embrace. “Then again, Sister, perhaps he does know.” Luna took a breath, looked Celestia in the eye with a smile, and nodded. “True words, Tia.” Luna did not hold back; she allowed her tears to fall to the bedsheets as her gaze returned to the painting. “True words…” > Chapter 64: Finale—Farewell For Now > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luna found herself in a dark forest, surrounded by massive trees that loomed overhead. This was not uncommon for her; many foals had an instinctive fear of the Everfree. As she moved along the forest path, with all of the fauna ignoring her presence, she heard a voice nearby. “Again? I really wish I could get this lucid dreaming down pat. I know I’m in a dream, but I still can’t seem to change it! Why is it taking so long to get this right?” A harsh sigh and a hoof pounding the ground followed the outburst. Wishing to remain unseen, Luna hid in the brush, trying to get a better view of her subject. When she found an opening between two tree trunks, Luna caught sight of a violet-coated earth pony filly face-to-face with a cockatrice. The creature glared at the filly with all of its might, but the filly’s body and unimpressed expression both remained unchanged. The filly let out a snort, then turned around and bucked the cockatrice into the shadows, revealing her cutie mark. The mark on the filly’s flank was unique: at first, Luna thought it was a net of some sort, but the ‘rim’ seemed to be housing a floral pattern of some kind. A closer look revealed five different colored feathers, each one trailing the edge of the circle by a single thread. The filly grabbed Luna’s attention once again when she tossed her long, wheat-tinted mane behind her and sighed again before calling out, “Alright, Manny. I know you’re there, so just come out.” As soon as she said this, a manticore jumped at the filly from behind the thick brush. The filly ducked, dodging the attack easily. This caused the manticore to go rolling uncontrollably down the path and out of sight. As she rose, the filly shook her head. “After like, the hundredth time, this just gets too easy. It’s so boring; how come nothing new ever happens?” Luna grinned as she exited her cover, causing the filly to jump in surprise. Gazing upon the Princess’s figure, she said, “Well, that’s new. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it is new.” The Princess gave a low chuckle as the filly continued, “Of all the things my mind could think of, why Princess Luna?” Luna approached the filly, smiling. “Because my presence is not your own mind’s doing, my little pony.” The filly’s dark green eyes bulged as she took a single step backward. Luna shook her head as she continued to walk towards the filly. “Do not worry, young one— you have nothing to fear. What is your name?” Remembering something she had read, the filly realized that this was, in fact, the real Princess Luna. She dipped into a bow, quickly reminding herself of her manners. “Dreamcatcher, Your Highness. My name is Dreamcatcher.” She rose as she looked the Princess in the eye. Recalling the filly’s cutie mark, a light bulb went on over Luna’s head before she nodded, holding a hoof to her chin. “Hmm… yes, I see. I heard you speaking of lucid dreaming; why has that particular subject sparked your interest?” Dreamcatcher grimaced. “Well, it’s a bit of a long story, Your Highness, but I’ll try to keep it short. I read about lucid dreaming in a book. The idea of taking control of a dream sounded really cool, so I tried to learn as much as I could about it. A while ago I had this nightmare, and it comes back every now and then, so I’ve been trying to get it to stop.” Luna nodded. “Ah yes, the recurring nightmare— the plague of the dreamscape. I see them frequently in the young and the old.” Dreamcatcher nodded back. “Right. Anyway, I figured out how to recognize that I’m in a dream once I get to sleep, but I still haven’t figured out how to change the dream. It’s so frustrating! The same thing always happens. Actually, there should be a timberwolf coming from behind you in a few minutes.” Dismissing the warning, Luna raised her eyebrows. “Lucid dreaming is not easy, Dreamcatcher; it takes practice. How long have you been trying?” Dreamcatcher’s pupils shifted upward as she thought. “Well, I had this nightmare for the first time a little over a year ago, and it started recurring often a few months ago. But I’ve been able to dream lucidly long before I had it in the first place, so… about three years. It took me a full year before I could do it easily. I didn’t think I would ever get my cutie mark…” The filly glanced at her flank for a moment before looking back at Princess Luna, who held a wide smile. Luna said, “Being able to determine the difference between dream and reality is a difficult first step, Dreamcatcher. Not many ponies can master it, and you seem to have done it quite well.” Dreamcatcher brushed back her mane and blushed. “Thank you, Your Highness. You’re right, it wasn’t easy, but I really want to master dream manipulation. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long!” Luna nodded. “I admit, three years is a rather long time to learn dream manipulation, but it is different for everypony. I know of only a select few who developed the skill quickly. It took me many years to perfect, and decades to master manipulating others’ dreams.” Dreamcatcher’s eyes glazed over for a moment before they went wide. “…Of course! That’s how you’re here, isn’t it? You can’t just enter a dream, you have to manipulate it so it accepts your presence!” Luna nodded. “You know the science quite well, Dreamcatcher. You certainly have done your homework.” The filly nodded back. Shuffling her hooves, she asked, “Can… Can you show me how to do it?” Remembering Dreamcatcher’s warning, Luna raised a brow and scratched her chin. “Perhaps I can. However…” She closed her eyes and focused as their surroundings slowly transformed. On one side of the visible path, the tall trees became a serene lake, with beautiful snow-capped mountains off in the distance. On the other side, an open field appeared with a small, open walking path a little ways before them. The path they stood on had converted into a shoreline, with stones and a few patches of grass here and there. The openness revealed a cloudless, starlit sky. “…I would prefer to do so in a more tranquil setting.” Luna grinned as the filly stared upward, her eyes sparkling with the reflections of the stars, and her mouth agape in a wide smile. The placid lake mirrored the sky, making it look like they stood at the edge of the world. “That… That’s incredible! You make it look so easy!” Dreamcatcher’s neck craned back to take in the entirety of her new surroundings. “I don’t think I could ever do something so cool.” Luna smiled. “It is not as easy as it may appear. Remember, as Princess of the Night, I am in my familiar element. The ability to use magic is also quite helpful. It sometimes takes a bit longer to master for pegasi and earth ponies.” Dreamcatcher frowned and looked at the sand around her hooves. This caught the princess’s eye. “But that certainly does not mean it is impossible. How old are you, Dreamcatcher?” Dreamcatcher was taken aback. “I… I’m fourteen, Your Highness. Why?” Luna smiled again. “Then you have no reason to fret; there is plenty of time to learn. After years of practice, you will have control of your own dreams as well.” She looked up at her own creation. When Luna looked back down at Dreamcatcher, her head hung low and her ears lay flat. It took the Princess by surprise. “Dreamcatcher, is something the matter?” Dreamcatcher looked back up at the Princess. “Well, it’s just… I don’t know if I do have that much time.” This caught Luna’s attention as she leaned forward slightly. “Why not, my little pony?” Dreamcatcher stood up with proper poise, but retained her glum demeanor as she let out a deep sigh. “I have cancer, Your Highness.” Dreamcatcher released herself from Princess Luna’s warm embrace. The refreshing feeling brought her spirits up again. “Thank you, Your Highness. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve been dealing with this for a while, but I still fall into slumps like that occasionally.” Luna put a hoof on the filly’s shoulder. “You have every right to do so. It has not been an easy battle, has it?” Dreamcatcher shook her head. “No, it hasn’t. But it isn’t terminal, and it’s been long enough that I’m used to it. Ponies from the Shining Stars Foundation have been helping me stay in good spirits. I like them a lot.” Luna smiled. You have made your mark, my friend. Well done. Dreamcatcher continued, “I have a bunch of friends supporting me through it, too. That really helps.” Luna nodded, glancing at Dreamcatcher’s cutie mark before she said, “Indeed. Friends are a remarkable asset in trying times such as the one you are going through.” Luna then thought back to her own treasured letter. The words burned fresh in her mind. “From what I witnessed before, I can tell that you have courage in your heart and a strong determination to succeed in your battle. That is a powerful advantage, but what you must always remember is to not give up hope. That is the true key to victory.” Dreamcatcher nodded. “My friends tell me that, too. When I first started dealing with all this, there were times that I felt like I just… couldn’t.” She turned away and let a tear fall as Luna attempted to lean down and give her a nuzzle. “But…” The filly stood tall and wiped her eye with a hoof. “My friends helped me get over that. They believe in me, so I can’t let them down. It may be hard to take, but just when I think I can’t, my friends help me realize that I can. I can because I have to. And I have to because…” She paused. Luna smiled and arched a brow. “Because?” Dreamcatcher furrowed her own brows and replied, “Because I have no other choice. After all the support my friends have given me, I refuse to give up. Since I’m still here, there must be reason for it.” Luna beamed. The wisdom and strength of will in this filly was indomitable. It reminded her of her old friend. “Wise words for a young filly. I have no doubt that you will lead yourself to victory. If you wish, I can help you along the way. At the very least, I can assist you with your lucid dreaming.” Dreamcatcher’s furrowed brows shot into arches and she jumped. “REALLY? Thank you, Your Highness!” Luna put a hoof on the filly’s shoulder. “Absolutely, Dreamcatcher. For now, I must depart. In the meantime, enjoy your vacation.” Luna smiled as she gestured to a newly conjured beach chair. As she turned, she felt a tug at her leg. “How can I ever thank you, Your Highness?” Luna smiled. “By continuing to fight the good fight. The greatest thanks I can receive is your good health. Keep watch for me during your nightly slumber, and practice— you will be creating your own dreams in no time. I will be in contact.” Dreamcatcher smiled and nodded as she released the Princess’s leg. “And please, you may call me Luna.” The filly’s smile widened as she nodded again. “Okay. So long, Yo— Luna.” “Farewell for now, Dreamcatcher. I look forward to seeing you again.” The filly waved as Princess Luna returned her smile, rose into the air, then flew off into the night. Dreamcatcher’s cutie mark seared into Luna’s mind. Before she could think of anything else, her heart raced as her thoughts flashed back to the painting upon her wall. Before focusing on another random subject, she took a moment to calm herself, casually flying in the direction of the red star in front of her. Yes, I will see you soon… …my young apprentice. END > A Letter to My Readers: A Dose of Reality > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please be certain you have read the whole story before you read this letter. Spoilers ahead! Part I To start off, I didn't expect this story to become nearly as long as it did, but there was a lot to write about, which I aim to clarify in this letter. Anyway, as I mentioned in the description, this story is inspired by real-life experiences I’ve dealt with, and continued to deal with in the process of writing it. The story’s inspiration unfolded in front of me while I wrote it. At the beginning, I was consistently a number of chapters behind, so some ideas ended up being changed along the way when I got there. In terms of Crimson’s narration, while he is pretty young in the first act, he needed to have a more mature narrative at times. I have seen ten-year-olds that are quite mature for their age, but I did occasionally have to play him up a few years in order for me to properly relay the messages I wanted to say. As I mentioned, some of the details of the story had to be changed up a bit based on how events unfolded in front of me. Some aspects were only slightly altered, while some things were quite different from their real-life inspirations right from the start. While I did get sick when I was four and have a heart transplant when I was only six, I didn’t get diagnosed with cancer until I was twenty-two (though the doctors were surprised it hadn’t happened sooner— PTLD usually strikes within the first few years of an organ transplant). This is why Crimson needed a slightly more mature narrative— I was giving a ten-year-old some of the thoughts of a person in their twenties… After I was diagnosed, I did not have to spend the entirety of the treatments portrayed in Act I in the hospital. I was able to go home and go back to the hospital when I needed the treatments, though I did get readmitted when the events that led to the resectioning occurred. Every medical problem that happened to Crimson in this story actually happened to me in some way, though some aspects were altered for the sake of time. Since this story focused on my cancer battle, I did not delve too deeply into the issues I’ve had with my heart. However, I decided to omit some of the other issues I’ve dealt with during my cancer fight. For example, I also had thyroid cancer, for which I had a thyroidectomy, and I had to have my tonsils removed due to the potential presence of more cancer (which happened while I was writing chapter 25). Some people might say that I “killed off” Level Dasher in the middle of the story, but my father actually passed away three years before I even started my cancer battle. The sad truth is that my father really did retire right before he unexpectedly passed away. Just like what happened to Crimson, I was about to have a great opportunity with my father, but I had it ripped away from me. Including him in the story was my way of imagining what things would have been like if he was still here when I got diagnosed. While Crimson’s path to initial remission took a little less than a year, in reality, I never really went into “remission” (which, as I mentioned in the story, doesn’t actually mean what a lot of people think it means) after dealing with the issues portrayed in Act I. There was a period of time (think the end of Act I and the beginning of the Entr’acte) where the cancer just sort of laid dormant, not causing any problems, aside from preventing me from attending college. When it “reawakened,” I began the clinical trial, and when that didn’t work, the doctors prepped me for the stem cell transplant, which some of you following me may have seen me talking about in my blogs. The doctors originally thought the whole process from my initial diagnosis would only take about a year if done correctly (which is partially why I made Act I a similar length), but things evolved— sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. While it can take up to two years after a stem cell transplant for the body to be considered fully recovered, the first year afterward is the most important, so if we call that the official end of my battle (since my scans all came back clean up to then), my battle with cancer took a little over three years. As of March 2017, though, I’m happy to report that both Oncology and Hematology have determined that the transplant was a complete success, and we can officially call me cured! The basis of the story gradually shifted from being mostly based on reality with hints of fiction to move the story along, to more fiction with aspects of real life that I wanted to keep in the story. That’s why I say the story is inspired by real life, not based on it. I feel like the phrase “based on” would denote more similarities to reality, although I kept in many truths about my medical history and family. I also realized that as the story progressed, it put more focus on Crimson and Tesla’s relationship— I didn’t intend for the story to evolve into a romance. However, this helped emphasize a message I did want to convey: how times of crisis can strengthen the bonds of friendship. Then again, a schoolyard crush can certainly help move that along. While I decided to give this story an official ending, I really don’t know how things are going to play out for me in the future. My medical life is an absolute mystery. I seem to be doing well now, but even if more major stuff happens to me in the future, I have high hopes that everything will be okay. Part II—“Cast List” In this story, most of the named characters are OCs, and many are inspired by real people. Without giving actual names, these are the named characters and their IRL inspirations if they have one. Crimson Star: Mostly based on myself. While his personality is similar to mine, as well as many of his interests, some of my minor attributes and lesser hobbies helped shape a few of his primary characteristics. He does think on a similar philosophical level despite his age, but he is a kid— some knowledge can only come with experience. Level Dasher: As you can probably see by my account name, this is my original OC, and though he's based off of me, he represents my father for the story. I gave him an OC family before I wrote this story, so I decided to have the story told from his son’s perspective so I could show the family dynamic. When I did this, I changed some things around to allow him to keep his character, but still portray my father. While Level Dasher and my father are pretty similar anyway, I did have to change his career. Harmony: Originally just LD’s significant other when I created the characters, I gave her some of my mother’s qualities for this story. My father was actually the more musical one in the family, but since LD’s special talent wasn’t music, my headcanon determined that his wife’s had to be. Some of the less flattering things about Harmony in the story—mostly her initial tension with Tesla—were only for the sake of the story. While any good son would say this about his mother (I hope), my mom really is the epitome of love and compassion, and would do absolutely anything to ensure anyone’s physical and mental well-being if she is able, particularly family and close friends. Gramma: This character is an amalgamation of both of my grandmothers. I couldn’t think of an appropriate name to represent them both, so “Gramma” she shall forever be called. Both of my grandmothers are equally awesome, but for the sake of potential confusion, I only wanted to use one grandmother, and the story required this character be the paternal grandmother because of Level Dasher’s death (and yes, my mother does call her “Gram” as well). Starry Knight and Tesla Coil: Believe it or not, despite being main characters in a story with mostly OCs that represent real people, they DON’T represent anyone. I needed two friends for Crimson that I could mold any way I chose, so I didn’t base them off any of my real friends for fear that they might be misrepresented as the story evolved. While I did have a few schoolyard crushes as a kid, none of them blossomed into relationships like Crimson and Tesla’s did. High Flyer: This character is a representation of every nurse that took care of me in the hospital. Realistically, you would never have the same nurse every day, especially considering how much time Crimson spent in the hospital, but if I had a different character for every nurse, the story would have been incredibly confusing. So I combined them all into one (it’s the same reason I just said “the doctors” instead of giving them all separate names). While most of my nurses were female, I decided to make High Flyer male because in my experience, there are nowhere near as many male nurses as there are female, and the guys are just as awesome as the gals. Blackhawk: A friend of mine that I was introduced to when I was first admitted after my diagnosis. He unfortunately did pass away. White Stripe: Another friend I made in the hospital. I met him during one of my treatments, and we kept in touch. We were both in the hospital again when I got admitted for my resectioning, but after I got discharged, well… he didn’t. As I said, the deaths of Blackhawk’s and White Stripe’s inspirations really did happen. In fact, they occurred within a week of each other, around the time I was writing chapter eight. That was a rough time for me. I also had to severely alter my plans of where the story was going when this happened. I’m purposely not saying too much about these characters’ inspirations because they didn’t know they were being put in this story. I thought about taking them out of the story for that reason, but I decided to keep them in because I feel that they need to be (and I want them to be) honored. Page Turner: Doesn’t represent any one of my teachers in particular, but all of my teachers/professors were completely supportive over the course of my battle. Tall Tale and Quick Quill: Page Turner doesn’t represent anyone, and nor do these two. However, I really do take to heart the message Tall Tale wrote. I wanted to include that line from The Shawshank Redemption somehow, because I do believe that it really is true (as well as when ‘hope’ is replaced with ‘friendship’). *Side Note* I’m amazed that when I first posted that chapter, nobody commented on the fact that ‘Crimson’ replacing ‘Red’ in that quote was basically the same thing! Amethyst Wonder and Rosebud: Two of my friends I made through the transplant department that I keep in touch with fairly often. As mentioned in the story, both have had it rough. Inkwell and Joy: Inkwell represents one of my other key friends from the transplant world that I keep in touch with (he really was my roommate). Our age difference made it so that I couldn’t really do much with his character, but I wanted to include him somehow. Since the character is so young, I needed his mother there as well. Brick and Boulder: Originally used as shoutouts to Crystal Moose since he did the same with my trio in A Daughter and Her Dragon when he first started writing it and it wasn’t on my account, so they don’t really represent anyone, either. I did deal with bullies when I was younger, but not because I was sick— more because of the physical side effects that came with being sick. The idea of the relationship between Brick and Blackhawk came to me on a whim, but because of this relationship, I had to change the order of Blackhawk’s and White Stripe’s deaths. Crimson would have found out about Blackhawk’s death sooner through Brick— Blackhawk’s inspiration actually passed away first IRL. Center Stage: My friend that introduced me to the MLP fandom in the first place. She came and visited me during some of my treatments, and it was during those visits, when we would occasionally (read: frequently) talk MLP, that I began thinking about writing this story. I wanted to give her a cameo that had some impact, but didn’t really need to show up more than once. I don’t know the extent of her musical ability when it comes to instruments, but she is in fact a fantastic dancer, and has performed around the world! Knightfall and Painted Pen: Since Starry and Tesla don’t represent anyone, neither do their named parents, but Painted Pen is Keetasari’s OC, and I was given permission to use her as Tesla’s mother in Like Father, Like Son. Aftershock: Same deal with the other named parents— Brick’s father was an extra character. Miss Nightingale: Just a placeholder name (I didn’t want to keep saying “the mare from the PonyLife room”), but she can also represent any of the people that work in the program called “ChildLife,” which does exactly what I explained in the story— keep kids occupied with various activities, give them company if they need it, etc. Dr. Osis: Another placeholder name, but I wanted LD’s surgeon to actually have a name. If you’re familiar with medical terminology, you might have gotten the reference I was trying to make with his body color (Cyanosis). Nurse Redcross: Again, she’s really just a placeholder for a ‘head nurse’, but I wanted her to have a name. Topaz Moon: Another shoutout to another user here on FimFic, but her allowing me to use her OC did help me move the story along when I got stuck. Dreamcatcher: Another friend of mine I met during treatments, who I am happy to say is doing well— she’s been cancer-free for over two years now! Any negativity in the personality I wrote for this character was purely for the sake of the story. In reality, she is an incredibly cheerful and outgoing person, despite all of her hardships. The words Dreamcatcher said in the finale are only slightly altered from something incredible she said in real life: “Just when I think I can’t, I can. I can because I have to, and I have to because I have no other choice.” If that isn’t an inspirational quote to follow, I don’t know what is. *Note*: There are many other friends I’ve made in the medical world, and I wish I could have included them in this story, but if I had, it would have made the story ridiculously long and complicated. Some of them are still with us, some of them aren't. I just felt that tossing quick mentions of them into the story without having them make any real impact wouldn't have done them justice, particularly my friends that have passed. My Final Message If you took the time to read this far, you have my utmost gratitude. Like I had Crimson say in chapter twenty, I’m not one to pour my heart out to people, and I don’t really like to “talk.” Writing this story was therapeutic for me— it allowed me to relay my feelings in a way so that I didn’t actually talk to anyone directly, but was able to vent enough that I didn’t let my feelings consume me. My anger, sadness, frustration, and fear were all poured into the words you read here. Including my hiatus for medical reasons, it took me upwards of two and a half years (give or take a few months for editing) to write this story. I hope it was worth your time and patience, especially if you followed it from the beginning. After reading this story, I hope you can now empathize with a cancer survivor who was not willing to give up the fight. I fought for the sake of my family, my friends, myself, and even for you. If reading this story has had any impact on you, whether it has inspired you to donate to the cause, made you remember someone you know who is also fighting (or fought and lost), or even just made you take an extra moment and think about other cancer survivors and/or fighters, this story was worthwhile. It is my strong belief that everyone has a purpose in life. I originally thought mine was to become a teacher, but medical circumstances kind of put a block on that road. My involvement in this fandom has led me to a new path— primarily writing and editing (if you’ve seen all the stories I’ve edited), but my limited teaching experience has served a purpose in that regard as well. If I serve even more purposes along the way, like raising cancer awareness, I’m all for it. You, dear reader, have a purpose, too. When you find it (or if you’ve already found it), do the most and the best you can with it. You can consider that your ‘cutie mark’ here in the real world. My big message for this story is this: make the most out of life, because you only get one shot at it. You may have a lot of obstacles to face along the way, but even so, you do have a life to live, so live it as best you can— for yourself, and for those around you. Thanks for reading. Level Dasher P.S.: When I wrote that celebratory scene where Crimson comes up with the name for his foundation (in chapter 56), I decided to do a Google search. Incidentally, there actually is a pediatric cancer foundation called the Shining Stars Foundation. I’m thrilled to say that this foundation actually does a lot of things that I imagined Crimson envisioning for his foundation as it evolved. In case you’re wondering, this wasn’t an attempt to pitch the foundation— I think of it as a completely accidental, yet appropriate coincidence.