Cupcake Theorem
Ponyville, Equestria. A large, country town where everypony knew everypony in spite of its size. No doubt at least partially through the efforts of a one Pinkimenia Diane Pie. Recently it became home to Twilight Sparkle, who despite being for all intents and purposes, a noblepony, thoroughly enjoyed the town's country air. It was humble and modest. Not arrogant or haughty like her former home.
At the moment, it was nearly silent. every business, shop, and store having closed up for the night so their underpaid, overworked employees could get some sleep.
There was one store, however, that retained just the smallest sliver of light. The scent of pastries lingered within, despite the oven's last use having been hours ago.
Within the building's second floor, three occupants sat down on the upper part of the house. Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and Pinkie. Spike was something of an odd one out amongst them, being a baby dragon.
"That really was a great party, Pinkie." Spike complimented.
"Thanks!" The poofy-maned pony answered. Her hair bounced as she talked. "You should come over tomorrow! I'm gonna throw one that's even bigger and better!"
Spike chuckled. "Well, if anypony can top Pinkie, it's Pinkie, right Twilight?"
"Hmm?" Twilight responded, seemingly disinterested in the conversation. "Oh...yeah, sure."
"Oh, come on, Twilight!" Spike whined. "You've been distracted since the rest of our friends left!"
"Just...thinking about stuff." Twilight told him. This much was true. She had been thinking silently since the rest of their group had left, and only Spike's directs efforts to engage her in conversation had broken her from her mind. What could she have been thinking about that would cause her not to care so much as to not even talk?
She had been thinking Pinkie Pie...was very pink.
Pinkie, normally energetic and bouncing everywhence way, let out a yawn. "Awwwwnn...okay guys, you can go now. I can't stay up much longer." Had she been in a better mood for biting remarks, Twilight might've chided her eating too much sugar, causing a crash.
"Okay, Pinks. See ya later!" Spike got up, entirely willing to comply with her wishes. Twilight lingered behind.
"Twilight, aren't you gonna go home with Spike?" Pinkie asked.
"Hmm?...Yes, I...I just want to see something, first." Twilight responded. She got up herself and walked over to the room's light switch and hit it with her hoof. The light faded from the room in a blink of an eye, leaving it in darkness except for the one area where the moonlight was beaming through the window. "Could you stand there real quick, Pinkie?"
Pinkie was baffled by Twilight's request, but did so, stepping into the room's only illuminated spot.
She looked beautiful. The light of the moon reflected off her coat and made her look silver. Pink silver. Silvery pink. Whatever it was, it was glowing and gorgeous. Twilight longed for Pinkie to let her stop this moment in time for eternity to preserve Pinkie's beauty in the moment...
N-n-not to say she didn't look beautiful at other times! That wasn't what Twilight meant at all! That pink coat looked gorgeous at any time of day.
"Gorgeous..." Twilight muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing...thank you." Twilight said quietly. Pinkie starting walking out and towards her own bedroom while Twilight stood there, thinking over the results of her experience.
This had been going on for several days now. Twilight Sparkle started thinking about...about her. About that color. About that pink coat. Once she started thinking about it, it took some effort to get her to stop. She tried to get different lightnings on Pinkie to see how it would look then, but up until now, every one she tried only detracted from the radiance of the pink.
That wasn't the only thing separating this time from the others, though. All the other times, Twilight had managed to mask it completely under a facade of normalcy. A group photo-op with all her friends. A strobe light party. Up til now, she had successfully hidden it from everypony. Not of them might've even suspected that through the librarian's head, obsessive-compulsive thoughts about pink were racing at half the speed of sound (or 170.145 M/S). What would her friends think if they had known? That she was crazy? That she was a danger to herself? Or...quite possibly, that she was in love?
Realizing she was still inside Pinkie's house, Twilight resolved to get out before morning or else she'd look like a stalker.
Twilight Sparkle had no uneasiness traveling through Ponyville this late at night. Some ponies might've been afraid of robbers or gang members. Twilight didn't fear these things; she feared getting back a grade from her mentor Celestia. Nothing was more terrifying than that, no matter how hard those unscrupulous ponies tried to convince her otherwise.
But there were some other things she was afraid of as well. What would her friends think if they knew what was going through her head? They would abandon her, wouldn't they? Wouldn't they?
No, no, they wouldn't do that. They'd try to get her help. Therapeutic help. She didn't need that kind of help, she needed more of something in her life. But more what? More friends? Were five friends not enough? No, no, that couldn't be it. More assignments to Celestia? Her work plate was rather clear at the moment...Twilight shook her head. That wasn't what she needed either.
She needed...she needed...
She needed more pink. Yes...that was it. More pink. Not enough pink. Never enough pink.
She's not crazy! She just needs more pink, is all. She's not crazy.
She's not crazy.
Her home, a library inside a tree house, began to flicker into view. She nodded her head at this and slowed her pace at the fact she was that close to home, not that she was going that fast in the first place.
She entered through the door, and, after a quick stop to the bathroom to brush her teeth (don't forget to floss!) she went to her bedroom, where Spike was curled up in his basket, already sound asleep.
A window was open. Most ponies would be concerned a burglar might have climbed in, but she seemed calm. Almost approving of it. Why would she have approved of an open window?
The answer slid its way out of the night sky and through the window into her room. A small owl rested itself on the perch that she had bought for it.
"Hoo," Owlowiscious hooted.
Twilight said hello to him, giving him a cracker and a pat on the head. She looked back at the basket to make sure Spike was still asleep before turning back to Owlowiscious. "Owlowiscious , can I tell you something?"
"Hoo."
With his vague response, Twilight decided it was okay to let her secret come spilling out.
"I've been thinking weirdly as of late. I can't stop about...about the color pink. I keep trying to make Pinkie Pie's coat look different in the light and every time I get it to change color, I want it to change back. I want it to stay pink. Sounds silly, huh?"
"Hoo."
"Yeah . . . I guess you're right . . . whatever it is you said."
Owlowiscious looked at her, then pointed his wing at the window. He was asking if it was okay for him to take into the night again.
Twilight nodded. "Sure." Then she added sternly, "But be back on the perch before I wake up, or I'll worry."
The owl accepted her request, then flapped his wings til he was off his perch and flew back into the shadows from whence he had come.
Twilight crawled under the covers of her bed and blinked her eyes slowly, waiting for the grip of sleep to grab her completely. It caught her soon enough, for she started dreaming not too long afterwards.
In her dream, she was sitting down on...nothing. Everything was pitch-black, wherever she was. There was a light in the distance: a candle atop a table, decorated for a romantic dinner for two. Two wooden chairs were by it, one of which had her friend Rainbow Dash sitting in it, waiting for Twilight to join her at the table. Most ponies seeing one of their friends set up for a romantic dinner so casually in a black void might have been kinda scared. But not Twilight.
Twilight had been here before. Several times. This was her void, Her dream world, where she would try to conjure up something to fulfill her need for pink. Her friends, her mentor, her assistant. Even the dreaded Nightmare Moon of myth; at some point, she had tried experimenting, making some weirdo chimera of those ponies. It was simple at first; just the mixing of coat and mane colors. Nightmare Moon in Celestia's colors. Rainbow Dash in Fluttershy's. There was always something about them though, that was just missing. Her dream-thing always mimicked what she want it to look like, always. Except for one thing. One, single...very important thing. It could turn into anypony she knew, into any color she'd seen, into any creature she'd studied.
Except for one thing.
It couldn't turn pink.
It would try, though. Oh, how very hard it would try! It would try so very hard to turn pink. It would start grunting and groaning with effort and pain. More than once, it had gotten to the point where Twilight had to throw her hooves on its shoulders and try to get it to stop before it hurt itself. Most nights, her dream would end there.
Other nights, though, she never encountered the dream-thing at all. She would be alone, until she heard music being played. She would start galloping frantically, trying to find its source, hoping that somehow her void had finally learned the secret to summoning that bright color that she so desperately craved. Alas, when she had reached the music point of origin, it was a famous Earth pony cellist known as Octavia. Then, she would hear different music and search for it, only to find a white unicorn DJ. Then, it would happen one more time where instead of that beautiful color, she would find Fluttershy's bird chorus. It was at this point that she caught wise, realizing she wasn't going to find that thing she needed.
Always, just as she caught on...just as she knew she wasn't going to find her or her strange polka tunes in this dream, just as Twilight wasn't certain that there would be no pink in her dream...that she would hear a siren song that could only have been pink in nature...and she would break down into tears, knowing that no matter how far she looked, she wouldn't be able to trace the hypnotic tones back to their maker.
It was kinda silly, really. She was dreaming that Pinkie was playing a melody meant to trap her in a spell...when Pinkie already had her utterly enthralled.
Waking up from this particular night's dream, Twilight peeked her eye over to see Spike still sleeping. As her assistant, it was his responsibility to be up before and prepare breakfast. As Spike however, he had no chance of ever being up before Twilight's workaholic mentality. She knew how much he valued being her number-one assistant thought, so she just lied in bed reading a book, then pretend to have fallen asleep when he himself woke up. This morning, however, she found herself tumbling and turning in bed, awake, but wanting to go back to her dream void. Thinking maybe if she worked really hard, she could figure out how to put that lively color inside of it.
The scent of cooking wriggled their way up the stairs into the bedroom. Eggs, cracked on the side of the skilled, their yolks oozed out onto the pan. White batter, scooped into balls of glop and laid out delicately on the same. Pancakes and Eggs. How nice of Spike to make those particular items.
With the sound of her book rustling and Owlowiscious snoring being the only other noise in the room, Twilight heard the pitter-patter of Spike's footsteps start on the stairs. Her very own alarm for when she needed to toss her book aside and bury herself under the covers.
Twilight wormed her leg out and dropped the book on the floor next to the bed. Tossing into a corner of the room would have been too attention grabbing, too noisy. Spike would've known something was up if she did that, but a book lying on the side of the floor was inconspicuous, as everypony would be expecting her to do something like fall asleep while reading a book and drop it.
"Twilight!" Spike cried, running up the last of the stairs and over to Twilight's bed. "Wake up! Breakfast is ready!"
"Five more minutes, Spike." Twilight complained. Not that she wanted five more minutes. She had had plenty of time to sleep more if she wanted to. She was just keeping up the facade of Spike being up before her.
"Oooh, Twilight! You're always saying how important it is to be up early!" Spike whined.
"Uhhn, fine." Twilight groaned, tossing the sheets off herself and shakily getting off the bed. Spike happily took her hoof and started dragging her down the library's stairs until they were in the kitchen. Spike was willing to let go of it once they got there and let Twilight seat herself. The pancakes and eggs were placed in a very appealing fashion on plates on the table.
Twilight blandly levitated the fork set aside for her into the air and started stabbing at the flaky food. With a bite speared on it, she stopped short of actually putting it in her mouth.
"Twilight?" Spike asked with concern. "Are you okay?"
"You could've made the pancakes pink."
"...What?"
Twilight blinked her eyes, trying to wrap her head around what just happened. "What what, Spike?"
"You said I could've made the pancakes pink?"
Twilight's eyes widened. She didn't remember saying that to Spike. She must have...lapsed or something...Oh, Celestia! Asking Pinkie to stand in the light from the window...telling Spike something she couldn't remember telling him...she must have been losing her control! Spike or somepony was going to catch on if she didn't get herself back in gear. Poor Spike! Twilight knew how sensitive he was about his job, and saying something like that would've been sure to make him question his cooking skill.
"I'm sorry, Spike." Twilight apologized. "The pancakes are delicious." She assured him, though she still had yet to actually eat a bite. "I just...I've been thinking about stuff lately. The pancakes are fine, really."
"Oh...okay!" Spike exclaimed, so happy that his skills weren't in question that he couldn't have possibly noticed anything flimsy with Twilight's excuse. Like that it was the same one she gave last night. They finished breakfast, though Twilight ate slowly.
Spike gathered up all the dishes and started washing them, freeing Twilight to do whatever she so pleased. She decided to go the table and pick out a book from the library's shelves for herself to read. It was a short book. A small book.
She finished it quickly. She picked out another book and started reading it. It was also short and small, so she finished it as quickly as the last one. Then she did the same a couple more times before noticing something.
The reason the books were so small and short was that they were picture books. Children's stories. And as she looked at the pile of finished books, she noticed one more thing about them.
They all had pink covers.
Pursing her lips in slight embarrassment, despite that there were no ponies around to see her choice in books, and even if they did, they wouldn't have known about the connection between her books and her fantasies.
She levitated all of the books off the table and started putting them back into their spots on the shelves. That done, she walked up to the bottom of a shelf and tried to pick out a book that wasn't pink with her hoof. She found her hoof to be shaking, unwilling to pick any other color then that fusion of white and red. She closed her eyes in concentration, trying to get herself to pick a book. She wasn't crazy. She just needed more pink.
Ah, yes...but reading a pink book wasn't what she meant by 'more pink' was it? No, no it wasn't. Having reminded herself of that, she almost was able to pick up a green tome, her hoof curled around it, when a knock came from the door. Slightly frustrated that she won her victory over herself only to have it cut short, she curtly walked over to the door and pulled it open. Pinkie Pie and Rarity were standing there, Pinkie in her apron with a concerned look on her face, while Rarity looked happy. Fake happy, like she was trying not to let her frustration about something show through.
Pinkie Pie...oh, neither of the two of them knew how hard it was for Twilight to see Pinkie's face marred by any emotion other then happiness like that. It was painful. Heart wracking. Devastating. Mind-shattering.
Twilight mentally took in a deep breath. She had to stay in control. She had to keep things together.
"Hey guys! What's up?" The words. The words were escaping her mouth, joyfully without anything that could hint at the extreme amounts of discipline needed to spit them out.
"A very successful buisnesspony wants to buy Sugarcube Corner!" Rarity happily informed her, like this was a good thing. This was a good thing? How could this have possibly been-be a good thing!? Stay calm, Twilight. Stay in control. It's Rarity, remember? She goes gaga over anything from Canterlot. She probably thought this businesspony buying the Corner would've been good for her. If he just so happened to see a customer wearing one of Rarity's designs . . .
"But, here's the thing, darling . . ." Rarity added. "He said he'd only buy if he could replicate Pinkie's baking. We've tried Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy, and ourselves, and well . . . suffice to say, we need you to be a tiebreaker."
Twilight nodded. "Okay."
"Here." Rarity lifted a cupcake to Twilight's nose. "This is one of his cupcakes. Try it."
Twilight looked at the cupcake for a second. The wrapping was green. It was clearly meant to be a friendly green, like a watermelon or something. A green balloon or whatever. But Twilight's...thoughts about Pinkie made her think of it as a poison color. The frosting on was blue, like the tiny base of a low flame.
With some apprehension, Twilight raised her hoof to take the cupcake from Rarity. Unwrapping it, she bit into it.
The cupcake wasn't bad. It was decent. Tolerable. 'Scrumptious,' even, but it felt like stingers on Twilight's mouth. How could anypony possibly think this thing anything like Pinkie's delicious, tasty, homemade with tender-loving care cupcakes? This was clearly made by an unthinking machine, programmed to copy and paste whatever had been fit into a piece of paper.
Stay calm, Twilight. Just . . . just STAY . . . CALM.
She had to nail this. She had to get this right. She had to be angry about this. Angry that Rarity would be so happy about the prospect of Sugarcube Corner being sold. Angry enough to show that she had been slighted for her friend Pinkie Pie, without being so angry as to suggest she thought of Pinkie Pie as anything otherwise.
"I can't believe you, Rarity!" She snapped at her white opposite. "How can this be anything like Pinkie's perfect pastries? How could any of our friends think that!? It's good, but nowhere near as good as Pinkie's baking. Right, Pinkie?"
Pinkie visibly cheered up, obviously happy that Twilight had taken her side.
Rarity seemed to have taken a knock back to Equestria from Twilight's mini-lecture. "Right, right, of course . . . I see. I'm sorry, Pinkie. I should have been against the idea from the start."
"It's okay!" Pinkie assured her. "I knew you were excited to have a Canterlot pony here in Ponyville! Oh, yeah!" Pinkie turned to Twilight. "Thanks for saying that, Twilight. It means a lot to me."
"You're welcome, Pinki-" Twilight was interrupted by Pinkie pulling her into a hug.
Oh Celestia! Pinkie was touching her! Pinkie was touching her! Pinkie . . . was TOUCHING her!
Twilight's eye drifted about. Pinkie had pulled Twilight's head against her chest. Did she mean to do that? Probably not. In spite of that, Twilight took the risky opportunity to nuzzle her cheek against Pinkie's cotton candy soft, curved, little pony bosom. The extremely risky opportunity, as Rarity was right there. Thankfully, the tailor noticed nothing but a moment of kinship between two friends.
"Come on, Pinkie." Rarity urged, putting a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "Let's go break the bad news, hmm?"
"Okay!" Pinkie gently removed herself from Twilight. The fascinated unicorn stumbled forward as Pinkie left, not wanted to be removed from her yet.
Twilight shook her head. There was no way it could last forever. After watching Pinkie bounce while Rarity walked, she closed the door.
Oh, the bouncing! She had forgotten about the bouncing. The way Pinkie's curled tail would swing to-and-fro, mesmerizing any soul unfortunate enough to catch sight of its sway . . .
Still, Twilight had to breath a sigh of relief. She had nailed it; angry enough to show she was Pinkie's friend without showing any indication of her . . . recent thoughts about the baker.
Nopony suspected anything yet.
. . . But would she be able to keep it that way?
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I'm not sure what to think about the premise, but the romance seems too sudden and unrealistic (maybe the origins are addressed in a later chapter?) The show's shown that Twilight is a pretty bad secret keeper, yet this terrible secret is just coming out of nowhere, with no cannon "evidence" to back it up.
Twilight's acting pretty neurotic about it, so you've hit one of her key traits.
It might be due to this being an earlier work, but you have many typos and grammatical mistakes throughout this chapter.
For example
"They'd try to help her"? "They'd try to get her help"?
Palate meaning her taste for work? Work "plate", perhaps?
Look what in the light? Look different in the light? Make the light look like Pinkie's Coat?
These are just a few, but they're all over the place. When you need to stop every couple of paragraphs to puzzle and parse a sentence it breaks the flow and immersion. It might help if you can get an editor to go through this with you.
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While you do have a point when compared to the cannon timeline, it's important to remember that this is the author's interpretation/ fan-made universe, which is using the cannon timeline as a frame to build a unique universe off of. Let's also be frank; It's important not to forget that this is a fictional story about multicolored lesbian ponies. It's not as if I dislike critiques. Quite the contrary, as I write critiques occasionally if I particularly enjoyed a story. I simply dislike unnecessary criticism. For the record, I agree with all grammar critiques. Personally, however, I rarely noticed them. While it would be very nice to fix them, I don't believe it breaks up the story for more than a second or two. Please don't take offense, as I write only to educate.
whoa... so twilight is literally crazy about pinkie... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
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it would be a terrible fic!!
I dunno I think it's important to have the story be as close to the show as possible. Personally I love the story, but I understand the critique. I mean where would it end? What of they made rainbow like the rainbow in the old series!?!