I Dreamt of Her

by ben717

Chapter 17: The War Machine

"How do I look?" I ask Twilight

"How do I look?" I ask Twilight.

"You look great." She says, finishing up my tie that I really need to learn to tie myself if I am to become a true gentleman...

I button up my collar and look myself over.

"Rarity really did a great job on this thing."

"Well it's kind of what she does, besides, do you know how many of my dresses are Rarity originals?" She asks.

"Too many?"

"Not enough actually."

"Odd, not the answer I expected at all. So remind me, what is this meeting thing for again?"

"It's the Spring Royal Summit, the Princesses and respective high ups meet to discuss the following years resources are going to be directed towards and how various other international matters shall be dealt with."

"So who all is going to be there? Is this like a Parliament type thing? What exactly should I be expecting?"

"Well I don't know what Parliament is, but it basically works like a voting system, several important politicians from all over Equestria congregate in order to vote upon matters at hand, as well as bring up new ones."

"Wait? It's a democracy? What about the Princesses?"

"It's usually fairly democratic, but the Princesses have the power to step in and say No to anything they deem unnecessary or unsafe. What the Princesses say, goes. They are ultimately the final deciders on anything and everything."

"What if one of the sisters disagrees with the other? Or say you disagree with their decision?"

"Then we take a vote amongst ourselves, but that rarely happens."

"Aren't there four of you? Say you vote evenly?"

"You forget, there are five rulers of Equestria and her various provinces."

"Five?"

"My brother, Prince Shining Armor."

"He is a Prince isn't he? I didn't even think about that one. So he would be the decider."

"Correct."

"What about Prince Blueblood? Doesn't he have a say?"

"That stallion couldn't distinguish an orange from an apple."

"Harsh?"

"You haven't met this stallion. He is technically a prince, but has no actual seat of power."

"I see." I say as I reach down to take a sip of water from the cup I had placed on me and Twilight's table.

"Did I ever tell you about that time that Rarity had a crush on him?"

I immediately do a spit take.

"Say what?"

"It's true! She had it in her head that he was her true love! Well that all changed quickly."

"Elaborate."

"Well it involved destroying the Grand Galloping Gala and a large cake flying through the air and hitting Rarity. Who was used as a pony-shield, by said Prince."

"I can imagine she wasn't too happy about that."

"You should've seen it for yourself!"

"I wish I could've."

Just then we hear a knock on the door.

"Just a minute!" Shouts Twilight, who runs to the door.

From my side of the room I continue putting my shoes on. Which I can't help but feel are somewhat out of place. Suit, Tie, and sandals... Don't even worry about it Rarity.

The door opens and two ponies step in.

The first to step in is a mare, another Alicorn whom I haven't met yet. Her mane is pink-ish, and her... Entire body is pink, and pink upon pink on pink with some god blessing pink and all topped off with some mother trucking pink, and get this, plot twist! More pink... It's like she was born simply to sell toys for some sort of strange whacked up kids show or something. I assume she's Princess Cadence.

The other is a stallion who is actually rather tall for an average unicorn. His mane is blue but coat is white.

Now who's this clown?

He looks like he's pretty tough, he's a big boy. I guess since he's with the Princess that he's Twilight's brother. If that's so he's pretty good at the whole magic thing. But I've been wrong before though so I won't assume anything. Hell, in a world of magical talking ponies I can never be sure of anything.

Twilight bum rushes both ponies and grabs them in a huge hug.

"Cadence! Shining!" She shouts

Yup, I was correct.

Then Cadence and Twilight do some sort of satanic ritual that goes like,

"Sunshine! Sunshine!"
"Ladybugs awake!"
"Clap your hooves and!"
"Do a little shake!"

I kind of stand there and gawk... Not entirely knowing what to make of it. It's probably one of the strangest family reunions I've seen.

"Twily!" Shouts Shining Armor,

"Shining! It's so nice to see you two!"

"We have actually been here for a day or two but we were resting from our travels."

He turns to his wife and winks on the word "resting".

Uh huh... "Resting"... Call me crazy, but I don't think that's what it's called.

I let out a bit of a laugh, Twilight was confused, but Cadence blushes a bit because I knew what he meant.

Oh Twilight, still so innocent. The world needs more like her.

Shining turns to me, "So you must be the human I've been hearing about."

He expands his chest a bit. Not enough that he was showing off, it was more like a soldier. But then again he was a Captain. It's almost like he's trying to... Intimidate me?

"Depends? What'd you hear?"

Cadence and Twilight shift uneasily.

"I hear that you tried dating my sis over there."

"She asked me to go see a movie, so technically. She dated me." I begin ,

That only seemed to strike a nerve.

"Well I don't know why she would've, you don't look like much. Plus there's a very nice guard over in the Crystal Empire that she seemed to favor."

Twilight blushed a bit shrinks behind Cadence.

"I get the feeling you don't like me." I say, becoming the egotistical, smart-flank that I become when you disrespect me.

"Oh no! It's not you, really. I'm sure you were plenty handsome, for a monkey." He says.

"Shining..." Cadence steps forward.

"So what is it then? Huh? What makes you so special? I bet you were probably the Captain of the hoofball team, probably had the whole world handed to you on a silver platter."

Now he's somewhat peeved.

"For your information, I worked my flank to get to where I am today, what have you done that's so great?"

"I traveled between dimensions for one thing. Gave ponies the knowledge that there is life somewhere else out there."

"I trained for years, put forth the effort and got the best out of it. What does that make you?"

"Genius. Billionaire. Playboy. Philanthropist." I say not because its true. But because it was funny to me.

"I also heard you made a fool of one of the guards." He says, looking much, much less friendly than before.

"He asked for it, and we made good out of it. Corporal Hot Shot's my buddy now."

"The guards must be getting soft." He says, "I knew I shouldn't have left. Captain Sunfire doesn't know a dang thing about-"

Ok you son of a-

"Hey! You don't talk about my friends that way, now I understand that you don't like me. I understand that Twilight is your sister and you want to protect her! I've been there, I have sisters too, in this world and in the one I left. But if you think you can talk about Captain Sunfire and Hot Shot like that, you got another thing coming. Prince Armor." I say getting up in his face.

"Is that so?" He says through gritted his teeth.

"Yeah." I say glaring back at him.

"Boys I'm sure that we can work this-" starts Twilight.

"I challenge you to a duel!" Shout Shining.

"Accepted." I say with venom in my words.

"The Arena, ten minutes." Says Shining Armor, as he walks out the door.

"Uh-oh..." Say both the girls in unison.

Cadence follows her husband out the door.

I walk over to my bed and grab my book bag. I carry more than just books in there.

"Ben, I am SO sorry! I don't know what came over him! He never acts like that!"

"It's probably something to do with another male sleeping in the same room as his little sister that he doesn't approve of." I say.

"But it's just- well... That was surprisingly accurate."

"Like I said, I have sisters too. But that doesn't give him the authority to talk about ponies like that. If you got a problem with me, keep it with me, not somepony else."

...

"I hope you know what you're getting into." She says.

"I'm well aware. I know he was Captain of the Guard for a reason. If I lose I lose. I just want to get one good swing to smack that little smirk off his face."

--------

As I make my was down to the Arena, which is located next to the Guard Quarters, I hear whispers coming from the other guards.

"Did you see Prince Armor? I've never seen him so upset." One says.

"What could've ticked him off that badly?" Says another.

I shuffle through my bag and pull out the books and such, what I really need is stuffed in the bottom of the pouch.

You see, learning about magic hasn't entirely been a waste. Though I can't do magic, I've learned a trick or two.

I pull out a small pouch from the side compartment of the bag.

Projection Powder. Zecora taught me how to make it. She usually uses it on Nightmare Night to help tell the legend of Nightmare Moon. It works fairly simple, you throw the dust and you picture an image of what it needs to be. A fun party trick, but it can have some interesting uses.

I pull out an Illumination Charm, Twilight made it for me. In case I ever found myself in a dark situation. It works basically like a flashlight. Don't know how I'll use this, but I'll figure it out.

And last but not least, my prized possession. My greatest creation up to this point since I've come to Equestria! A little concoction that I made, with the potions book that I "borrowed" from Twilight. A Short-Range Telportation Potion! I've wanted to do it ever since I saw Twilight do it that first day! I didn't know when I was gonna use it, but you never know when it'll be good to teleport. In fact, why didn't I use it the other day so I didn't have to march up ALL THOSE STAIRS...

I unbutton my suit, take my tie, and wrap it around my fist like a glove, this is how some UFC fighters do it, just a piece of cloth.
...

I reach the Arena and boy the place is a lot bigger on the inside.

It's like a miniature colosseum. There are seats surrounding the inner arena and a large balcony for, I assume, royalty and other special guests to spectate.

There are already off-duty guards and random citizens filing in to see what the Prince came storming in for. There were rumors spreading of a duel.

In fact I see him down there now.

I stuff my various things into my suit.

The charm in my front pocket, the bottle in my inside pocket,and I loop the powders string to my belt.

I make my way to the center ring, Shining Armor and another guard is standing there.

The ring is big, and open, there are pillars surrounding the place. It's at least two basketball courts in diameter. To put it in perspective.

I look up and around, ponies are really starting to file in. Who the hay tells all these ponies when stuffs going down?

To my right I see a wall of weapons, of course all of them have been "nerfed", we are dueling, but not trying to kill each other.

I see lances, spears, wing blades, staffs, basically sticks, and several other blunt weapons. The blades have all been replaced with wood. I see what looks like a war hammer, as well as a wing bow. It's basically a bow and arrow just shaped somewhat differently to fit a Pegasus' wings. Unicorns can use them also, with magic. Earth Ponies can but its very strange, they have to stand on their hind legs and pull with one hoof while holding with the other. This is very awkward and most tend to avoid it. But most don't have hands.

Shining Armor and I face each other in the center of the ring. We've really drawn quite the crowd.

The guard turns to me, "You are aware of how duels work correct?"

"It works in rounds? A clean strike marks the end of a round. The first pony to five wins? Am I correct?"

He simply nods. And turns to face us both.

In a loud booming voice, he shouts, "Gentlecolts! Choose your weapons! Remember, you may choose to change weapons between each round!"

We both walk to the weapon rack, no words being said. Only a tension in the air.

I grab a small staff. I test its balance in my hand. I start twirling it like I would back when I actually did this type of stuff.

I then decided to grip it less like a staff, and more like a sword. Something Equestria didn't have, two hands. I hold the thing vertically, and swing it like a baseball bat. It makes a satisfying swoosh.

I have chosen my weapon.

I look over at Shining Armor, it seems he has chosen similarly. He wants to best me at my own game. Using magic to grip the short staff.

We return to the center of the ring. My heart is beginning to pound, adrenaline pumping once more.

"Gentlecolts! Face each other please!"

We do as instructed.

"Weapons ready!"

"C'mon Shining! Show him what you got!"

"You can do it Two Legs! I believe in you!"

I say to him, "Alright pretty boy, lets see what you got."

...

"Fight!"

I waste no time at all, I do a simple wrist flick and tap him on the horn. He didn't even have time to react.

"1-0" I say, doing a little twirl with my "sword."

"Next time it won't be so easy." He says, smirking at me.

I hear a couple of whoots! From the audience.

I ready my weapon for a second time. Holding it like a katana, the only way I was taught.

He readies his.

This time, he takes the first swing.

I hold up to block. The stick bounces off mine and I return with a barrage of my own.

*crack* *crack* *crack* go our sticks bouncing off each other.

But this time, he blindsides me and catches me in the calf.

"1-1" he says, smiling all cocky like.

"Yeah! Atta colt Shining!" Somepony yells.

We ready our weapons again.

I swing at his head.

He promptly ducks and sweeps my legs.

I'm quick enough to notice it and jump over it.

I'm completely focused on cracking this pretty boy upside the head when..

I feel something grab my leg.

I glance down and see an aura wrapped around my ankle.

"WOAH!" I cry as I'm yanked to the ground.

I feel Shinings stick tap me on the forehead.

"1-2"

"Shut up" I say getting back onto my feet.

The crowd is really getting into it now!

"Back up Iron Man! Lets go!" Shouts a spectator.

We ready our weapons once again.

He swings first.

I wasn't entirely ready that time.

The stick I was holding flies somewhere to my left.

He takes another swing that I proceed to duck under.

I take my fist that was wrapped in my tie and take a jab at his jaw.

My fist rebounds off of a force field!

He takes the opportunity to sweep my legs out from under me and smack me in the chest.

"1-3"

I stand up and retrieve my stick. I need to come up with a plan soon.

I bend down and pick up my weapon. I see a pebble, about the size of a marble, I pick it up and put it in my mouth.

We ready our weapons again.

I swing, but he grabs my hands using magic.

He takes a swing but I jump up and kick the stick back before it can take out my ribcage.

I spit the pebble out at about Mach 5 towards his eyeball. Lord knows those things are a huge target.

"Ah!" He cries and throws my back with magic.

I leap back up in time to see a ballistic stick hurdling towards my...

*CRACK*

"AH!" I shout in pain.

My shins...

"God damn it!" I shout keeled over in pain.

"1-4, looks like the famous Iron Man isn't so Iron after all." Says Shining Armor.

I look down at my shin, which is throbbing in pain.

"Come on Ben! Thou can kick this peasants sorry flank!" Shouts... Somepony.

I look up, and standing on the balcony, are the Princesses. They too had come to watch this spectacle.

"Get up Ben!" Luna shouts!

She seems to be the only one getting into this. Twilight and Cadence are both worried for the both of us. Who knows what Celestia is thinking.

I grip my shin. But the cogs in my head keep turning.

"Give up?" Asks Shining.

I look him dead in the eye.

"Like hell..." I glance to the official, "I'd like to switch weapons, please."

"Very well." Says the guard overseeing this.

I walk over and grab the wing bow. I pluck the sting, which gives off a small twang.

Shining Armor looks me over, unsure of my choice in weapons.

I hoist the bow around my body, Lara Croft style.

I grab a couple of the blunt head arrows. Once again, we aren't here to kill... Only to maim.

I reach into my front pocket and grab the Charm.

I put my fists up in the air, ready to fight.

He swings but I duck and jump back a few feet.

"Tossing a flash bang!" I shout, sliding the charm across the floor at his hooves.

"HA! You missed you silly-!"

I hold up a hand and gesture for him to look down again.

He glances, BANG!

The Illumination Charm lights off, giving a brilliant shine. A blinding shine.

"Ah!" He shouts shielding his eyes.

I sprint across the floor and tackle him to the ground. Followed by a smack upside the head.

"2-4!" I shout in his face.

There is a chorus of cheering from the audience, cheering for the alien. The underdog.

"TAKE THAT YOU UNRULY WELP!" Shouts Luna in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Celestia looks at her kind of funny, but doesn't ask questions.

I can't help but laugh, I have a royal cheerleader.

"This isn't over yet!" Shouts Shining.

Some guards from the crowd, "C'mon Shining! Finish him!"

He readies his weapon.

I reach into my back pouch for the powder.

...

He pounces but I throw the powder in his face.

He stumbles back in shock as a smoke screen fills the air.

He sees Ben Short standing in the dust.

He jumps and swings with all of his might.

*WHFFFFH* cries his stick as he swings through a projection.

He stops and looks around.

"Ah ha! A clever trick! But unfortunately it's not going to-"

*WHAP* as my fist slams into his jaw.

"3-4" I say

Another cheer erupts from the crowd as the dust settles!

"That was a cheap trick..." Says Shining, rubbing his jaw.

"So is grabbing someone with magic."

"Touche" he replies

"Stick around, I have one final trick up my sleeve."

He readies his weapon.

"Hold on, I'm kinda thirsty, lemme get a drink real quick."

I reach back and grab my vial of potion and take a swig.

"Alright, lets do it." I say grabbing my bow and readying an arrow.

He takes a swing but-

*poof*

"Where did I go?" I shout from the rafters.

He looks up and fires up his horn to release a blast of magic at me.

I jump from the rafters, but just before I hit the ground-

*poof*

"You see Shining, you may be better at combat!" I say from two feet behind him.

He turns and swings at me but alas-

*poof*

"You might be better at magic!" I shout from the other end of the arena, "but you lack one thing!"

He fires another magical blast at me, in complete anger and frustration.

*poof*

"And what's that!?" He shouts with venom in his voice.

"Excuse me Luna." I say from on top of the balcony.

I ready the bow and draw back, "CREATIVITY!"

I aim at his cutie mark and let fly.

The arrow hits him right in the flank.

Luna can't even contain herself.

"WWWWAAAAHOOOOOO" she screams at the top of her lungs!

"4-4" I say, tipping my "hat" to the Princess.

Celestia stands and raises her wings. Everypony, save the other Princesses take a bow, I take a knee respectfully.

"As entertaining as this has been, I must put a stop to it. We cannot allow an Ambassador and a Prince to have a grudge match, not at this hour."

She teleports Shining Armor up to us.

"You two, go clean yourselves up and forget this silly rivalry. Shining Armor, I expected more from a married stallion, let alone a Prince of Equestria. Ben, I know you aren't technically a citizen of Equestria, but you simply must stop picking fights with everypony you meet. It's not how we do things here."

"No... I'm sorry your highness. I guess I let my anger get the better of me." I say, "I was rude and inconsiderate, I should be more mature than that ma'am."

"Very good, now lets get down to business, we have urgent matters to discuss." Celestia walks out of the Arena, followed by Twilight, followed by Shining, followed by me, Cadence and Luna.

Cadence whispers to me, "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. He never acts like that."

"That's what Twilight told me, I told her it was probably because she took me on a date and he was being protective. But maybe he just plain doesn't like me?"

"Either way, I'm sorry about that. How's your leg?"

"Swollen but fine. How's your husbands jaw, and flank, and ego?"

"All bruised, but he earned it."

Cadence continues ahead, leaving Luna and I in the back of the pack.

She looks at me and smiles.

I look at her and smile back.

"What?" I ask jokingly, "You gonna kiss me or somethin'?"

"Wha-? No!" She says kind of flabbergasted.

I just laugh, "I'm just kidding, but you were just my personal little cheerleader weren't you?"

"What is this, cheerleader, of which thou speaketh?"

"Well it's uh, never mind. Thanks for rooting for me back there." I say

"That was the most entertaining duel we have witnessed in a millennium! Thou was very clever with the Projection Powder! How didst thou come up with that idea?" She asks

"Well I know this isn't gonna make sense to you but..." I say deepening my voice, "I'm Batman!"

I say in the grumbly, rough, nail gargling voice of Christian Bale.

"We thought you were Iron Man?" Says Luna in confusion.

-------

Celestia stands to speak.

"We are here today to discuss the future of Equestria and her outlying provinces. Let the first meetings of the Summit begin!" She says to the congregation of ponies.

"Today we will be discussing the blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...." Is all I heard.

We are inside of the Debate Hall of the castle. It looks exactly like a political room would back on Earth. A table in the center of the room surrounded by rows of seats for the various Senators and other important ponies.

I am near the center of the room near Twilight, as that's the entire purpose of me being here. Being her student and all.

I've always hated politics, and Twilight knows it, I made it very clear whenever she first mentioned it. To help pass the time she assigned me a plethora of Chemistry. Not potion making. Chemistry, regular. Plain. Old. Chemistry.

Thing about magic, is that even though it does exist. That it doesn't completely disregard science. Like to put it into a picture for you, the difference between potion making and chemistry is that with potions, you have laws of physics that don't normally exist. You mix the ingredients that hold magical properties themselves.

Magic doesn't disregard laws of physics completely, they can just bypass them to a degree. For example, the Law of Conservation of Mass. A healing spell. The reason that you can't just go to a hospital and have them cast a spell to heal you, is because you can't just create living tissue spontaneously. At least not in that sense.

Technically you could, but it would have painful and dire consequences. The materials that would be required to rebuild the damaged tissue would have to come from somewhere. Your metabolism would literally not be able to keep up. You would starve to death depending on how big the cut is.

Now as with everything in this world there is an exception. Discord, for example, can just do whatever he wants. That magic is strange and powerful, and I haven't even begun to understand how it works, or what in the world makes that guy tick. I honestly probably never will.

He still bothers me, I'm not sure why.

Twilight can do something similar, but it was very small scale, she has been known to be able to create something small like a parasprite.

The Law of Conservation of Energy is still in effect, that is still a thing, which makes me wonder if electricity would ever work.

Now this Law also confuses me, I can't decide whether or not magic is a form of energy or if its some strange form of matter. It acts like a gas yet it can energize things like Tanks little helicopter thing for Rainbow Dash. Which makes me wonder what else it can do. It seems like these ponies have so many opportunities to create amazing technology, yet they seem to stay in one spot.

At the end of the day I'm always left with more questions than answers when it comes to magic.

Anyways, what was I doing? Oh yeah, chemistry...

Basically she gave me a handful of equations and told me to solve for the products using the individual ions charges and such.

For those of you who haven't taken a chemistry class. Atomic charges are (generally) what decide which atom or molecule an element would bond to.

Another pain in the flank about coming to Equestria, I had to completely re-learn the Periodic Table. Elements like, Lawrencium, Rutherfordium, Americium, Europium, and other such elements don't actually exist. Well, they do exist, just not by the same names. Lawrence, Rutherford, America and Europe don't exist therefore the names don't exist.

Other language gaps also changed some rules. I'm not going to go into detail so I'm just gonna call the elements back on Earth.

The first equation:

What is the product of 2H2 + O2?

Seriously Twilight? I don't even have to use any math for that one.

I jot down 2 H2O.

Second Equation:

What is the product if reactant A: CH3COOH is mixed with reactant B: NaHCO3?

A bit better, but still not too much of a thinker.

It's Baking Powder and Vinegar. A very simple reaction, it's products are sodium acetate, carbon Dioxide, and water. I learned that in High School.

I jot down CH3COOH + NaHCO3 ---> CH3COONa + H2O + CO2

A complex looking equation, it would probably have taken me a while if I didn't know it by heart.

Come on Twi, give me something harder!

After about thirty minutes I am literally flying through the paper.

Knocking down equations and their respective molecules with ease.

After an equation that involves helium gas and sodium nitrate, I was actually finished with the paper. And with about an hour and a half with nothing to do...

I let out a small sigh of boredom.

"What's wrong?" Whispers Twilight

"Well I'm done with that paper, and now I have nothing to do." I say, impatient and eager to leave.

Twilight looks up and says, "You may want to pay attention to this next part, it may give you something to do!"

I listen in for a second... Some white collar pony is talking.

"... and it's made up of a mixture of Potassium Nitrate, Sulfur, and Carbon. It undergoes a heat reaction which causes it to blah blah blah...."

That's all I needed to hear. I didn't care, I didn't want to know what it did, I wanted to find out for myself.

I jot down the original equation.

KNO3 + S + C

So it undergoes a heat reaction...

Hmm... Well I suppose we should start with breaking down Potassium Nitrate.

Potassium Nitrate is an Ionic Bond.

Nitrate (NO3) is an Ion in itself, and it bonds with Potassium (K).

Then there's that Sulfur and Carbon... Where would they go?

I open my book to look up the atomic charges of each individual element.

The Polyatomic Ion Nitrate contains Oxygen and Nitrogen so I have to account for those also.

Oh man... This one is a thinker...

Sometimes with chemistry it's all about putting together puzzle pieces.

Gah!

Ok... So lets see, Oxygen is most likely going to form some more Polyatomic Ions... With the Carbon and Sulfur... So uhh.... Sulfate and um. Carbonate.

So it'd be SO4 and CO3..

Those would most likely bond with Potassium given their respective charges.

But what would be left of the Nitrogen? And I also haven't taken into account the fact that Carbon and Oxygen like each other also... Dang it... dang it... dang it...

After about minutes of fiddling I come up with the unbalanced equation of:

KNO3 + S + C = K2CO3 + K2SO4 + CO2 + N2

I show it to Twilight who says, "Good, now balance it."

"Awww! Do I have to?"

"Yes!" She says.

Grr... Thought I could get away with it.

So after another five minutes of math I was pretty bummed out on science.

But I had my answer.

10 KNO3 + 3 S + 8 C = 2 K2CO3 + 3 K2SO4 + 6 CO2 + 5 N2

I take one last look at my answer and deem it worthy.

But before I show it to Twilight, the strange thought crosses my mind.

That reaction gives off an awful lot of gas... In fact... It's an exothermic reaction. Explosive actually if my math is right.

Hmm... What would ponies need an explosive like that for?

As a matter of fact the more I look at the equation...

Is it Tannerite?

No... No a Tannerite explosion involves Aluminum powder...

Tannerite was fun! Lemme tell you about that stuff.

You had to stay far away from it! It was generally used as an explosive target that we would shoot with our... Our...

Guns...

Gunpowder...

I jump up in my seat.

"EXCUSE ME!" I shout

Everypony nearly jumps out of their seats as the alien flips dafaq out.

"Umm.. Sorry... Uh.. Excuse me.. I have a question, in regards to a mixture mentioned a while ago."

Celestia looks at me with curiosity, "What ever do you mean?"

"The uh... Potassium Nitrate mixture.. The one that has a heat reaction?"

Then... A very businessey looking pony stands up.

"Were you referring to the Rich Incorporation's High Velocity Projectile Weapon?"

"High Velocity... Projectile Weapon?"

Uh oh...

"Yes using the chemical powder you mentioned, we have been able to propel a projectile faster than any known magic can hurl it."

"Uh huh..." I say.. Nightmares coming true..."You wouldn't happen to have, uh... Designs for such a weapon in the works would you?"

"But of course."

He floats me over the designs.

I take them in hand and look them up and down. It's just as I feared. The design, though primitive, was a gun. It was simple, and it was crude by human standards. Your typical musket style mechanism. No bullets, you load the powder manually, and the ball, plus the primer. Actually... Looks like its powered by a fuse rather than a primer.

He pipes up, "Confused? Well that's probably because it took my top engineers to-"

"Let me be the first to object to this new weapon!" I say out loud.

There is a murmur amongst the crowd. The Princesses look at each other in confusion.

"What? You can't be joking!" Says the business pony, "This issue has already been discussed and decided on!"

"Oh I'm very serious Mr. Uhh..."

"Filthy.. Filthy Rich. What even gives you a say in the matter. You aren't royalty, nor a senator. What makes you such an expert on the subject? It took my top engineers to come up with the proper formula!"

I nearly choke at that name. Oh see what type of guy he is. Name says it all. Money over everything.

Celestia stands, "Ben... You are speaking in a matter that has already been decided on.. Now if you would please sit down and-"

"Let the human speak." Interjects Luna.

Celestia looks to her younger sister confused, but stands down.

"Very well, let him speak."

I turn back to Mr. Filthy.

"Do we got like a chalk board in here?" I ask.

As soon as I say it, one is wheeled out to the center of the room.

"Now Mr. Rich, I'm sure you meant for the good of Equestria when you envisioned this weapon but let me tell you why it does not belong here."

Everypony got quiet to hear what the human had to say.

"You see sir, that little "Projectile Weapon" of yours. Back on Earth. We call that little device a Gun."

"You see, back on Earth, we don't have magic or any fancy things like that to keep things regulated. So we turn to technology. And as much as it pains me to say it. We have killing each other down to a science."

There's a gasp from the crowd.

Celestia speaks up, "Now Mr. Rich, you did not mention that this new weapon would be lethal, we only use lethal force when absolutely necessary."

"But Princess we-" he starts.

"As I was saying." I cut him off, "We have killing each other down to a science. War, destruction and chaos are its product. You see, I'm sure your scientists did their best with what they were given but compared to human standards, these designs are extremely primitive."

He seemed offended, "What makes you so sure?"

"Well your first mistake was your bullet." I say, beginning to write on the chalk board.

"Our most powerful weapons can fire hundreds of rounds in just a few seconds."

"Impossible!" He retorts.

"Anything is possible through science! We took your little ball and powder, and put it all into one little capsule we like to call, bullets."

I draw the ball and powder, then next to it I draw a diagram of a modern bullet.

Mr. Rich was almost dumbfounded.

"I'm not going to draw a complex picture of a modern gun for you, but I know enough to know that this technology does not belong."

"What is your reasoning?" Asks Celestia

"You see, we had wars... Tons of them... But the two worst wars in human history. We call them World Wars 1 and 2. Guns were the primary weapons of both wars. Do you know what the death toll was?"

...

"Millions... Millions of young soldiers, civilians, and others died."

There is a long drawn out silence.

"I want to stop this before it begins. You start with a simple musket, but before long using the same tech, you create bombs, bombers, and other tools of destruction that I will not see Equestria fall to."

"How much destruction can one of these "bombs" cause?" Asks Celestia

"It's funny you ask..." I say

"Our biggest bomb... We call it the atom bomb..." I start, "Ponies, take a look around you... Take one good hard look... These tall walls? The powerful defenses? The strong towers? Do you feel safe? Secure?"

There is a murmur of "Yes"es from the crowd.

"Now picture a city, twice the size of Canterlot... One atom bomb, can easily LEVEL a city like this. Hiroshima, August 6th, 1945... A bomb dropped that nearly destroyed the local population. And the ones that did survive suffered from radiation and toxins that resulted from the blast. Thousands upon thousands died in an instant. Walls fell, buildings crumpled. Dead bodies all over the streets."

Several ponies were now crying.

"He's lying!" Shouts Mr. Rich, "How do you know all this? How do we know this technology is as dangerous as you say it is?"

"Well I suppose you don't know... Unless you just have a gun laying around somewhere." I say.

The look on his face gives it away.

"You do don't you?" I ask.

Celestia speaks up, "Mr. Rich, if you have undisclosed weapons technology, I suggest revealing it now."

He brings up a large briefcase. With a very fancy lock on it.

I get close to it as he unlocks it, revealing a completely operational hand cannon.

I call it a hand cannon because it doesn't have a primer, but a fuse.

"You wanna see how deadly this can be?" I whisper to him.

I grab a fuse, ball, and packet of powder from the case as well that the gun itself.

"Hey! You can't just-"

"Watch closely!" I shout grabbing a small watermelon off the table in front of the Princess.

I take it and place it at the opposite end of the room.

I return next to the Princesses and continue to load the fuse, pack the powder, and ball.

"How did you know to pack the powder?" Asks Filthy

"It's common knowledge where I'm from bud."

I take aim at the target at the end of the room, careful to see that everypony is out of the way.

"Twilight, if you please." I say gesturing to the fuse.

She sparks her horn and lights it.

The room goes quiet at the fuse runs down.

The fuse reaches the end of the barrel and...

...

"Ha! I told you it wasn't that deadl-" starts Filthy.

BAANG! The gun goes off and ponies jump out of their seats.

The watermelon that was once at the end of the room had been reduced to a fruity splatter against the wall.

"THAT! My little ponies... Was someponies head." I conclude.

Celestia is the first to speak, as everypony else is completely speechless.

"Well... That settles that then..." She says quietly.

Author's Note:

Shout out to rikusorasephiroth for semi-inspiring this chapter.

Also, sorry this took so freaking long. These past two weeks have been very busy getting prepared for school, and such. My hours have been spent on a summer assignment, work, and conditioning for the next race season.

And I'm not saying, that a lot of my late night writing hours have been spent on a female... But... I may, or may not... Have met someone...

Comments

[rikusorasephiroth]

Semi-inspiring?
I don't know if I should feel flattered or insulted.
...
I think I'll go with flattered.
It's a fuzzier feeling.

[PickleSurprise]

Wow, that was a fairly badass explanation of why guns don't belong. Granted for us its an obvious thing but for these innocent ponies it takes a real example to understand why. Dunno if you looked it up or not but the grand total for both World Wars was about 8.7mil for WW1 and 60-80mil for WW2. Just tossing that out there cause for me, knowing the numbers has a bigger impact then just saying millions.

[xSuperNovax]

Awesome chapter. The explanation of guns was spot on. Also the ending was priceless after he shot the gun and everyponys reaction to it.

[Dragaen]

holy shit... I feel he's definitely fitting the role of Iron Man that's for sure.

[redcake11]

So now he's batman too?

[MuzaWaza]

Love the story. Keep up the good work!

[spetsnaz pinkie pie]

Leave chaos to humans were better at it.

[Darkheretic]

Thank god! Finally a gun in equestria that isn't glorified or just there without anypony batting an eyelash at it. Ipods and phones I can deal with being that there a go few century more advanced then the confusing level of tech eqestria has and you'd have to try REALLY hard to reverse engineer them into weapons.but guns would be ridiculously easy to reverse engineer with alchemests like zacora and are on my top 5 list of things that if not handled well turn me off of a fic for good

[ben717]

3010228 it's funny you mention that...

[Dark Shade 75]

The end wasn't too believable, but I can let that one go.

[Dragaen]

3010702 oh right, and batman.

[ben717]

3012087 the batman thing was just him being an idiot, Tony Stark will forever be my idol.

[Dragaen]

3012170 lol, I hear ya. Just love the Iron Man references you keep throwing. Don't think I didn't notice when he was talking to Shining Armour, or the situation with the hand cannon.

[Maeroon]

[ReaperManX15]

He's Batman in an Iron Man suit.

Also the gun part of this chapter was awesome.
97 million dead in a little over a decade, and weapons that, in a single flash, could make Canterlot not exist. Way to push those ponies away from war.

[ben717]

As for the "On Hiatus" label, I really do mean "On Hiatus" I will be back. I'm just very busy with school. This is probably the most busy year I've ever had. Three days in I'm already up late doing homework. Hopefully it'll clear up in a week or two, but as of right now, I have a pretty booked schedule. As much as I like Luna, she's not the center of my life. But I shall be back, with a Poison Joke chapter!

[ben717]

3274562 Agreed

[rikusorasephiroth]

...umm...Updates?

[ben717]

3419396 Calm down son, it wasn't Halloween yesterday.

[Mr_Moon]

No guns!

Bad! Bad ponies!