Chapter 7
Betrayal
Four weeks have passed since Wake’s and Rainbow’s first date and the two couldn’t be happier. Wake felt something poking his head. As he opened his eyes he saw a smiling Rainbow Dash standing in front of him. “Wakey Wakey.” She said in a playful tone.
“How did you get in my house?” He asked as he sat up with his mane sticking out in all directions.
“You should lock your window.” She said as with a giggle. The stallion looked at his clock and groaned.
“Dash it’s midnight.” He said as he rubbed his eyes.
“I......um.....got lost after stargazing with Twilight.” She lied.
“Since when do you care about astronomy?”
“Shut up.” She said with a yawn. “Scoot over.” Before the stallion could protest the mare quickly jumped into bed beside him closed her eyes. The stallion saw a smile creep across the sleeping mare’s face.
Damn it Dash! Damn you and that cute look. The stallion let out a sigh and turned over and tried to fall back asleep.
“Hey Wake. Are you sleeping?” The mare asked.
“Wish I was.” He said in a flat tone.
“I’m cold.” She whined.
“So take an extra blanket.” The mare instantly took his half of the blanket and giggled. “Dash I know what you’re doing. Do you want to cuddle up?”
“Yes please.” She said in an innocent tone. The mare returned the blanket to the stallion who soon felt the mare’s head rest on his chest.
“Weird.” He said in a flat tone.
“What?”
“If it hadn’t been for you crashing in my pool then we wouldn’t be in this situation.” He said as he closed his eyes.
“Oh yeah...About that.” She said added by a small laugh.
Wait what? The stallion thought as he sat up.
“Yeah..That wasn’t completely an accident.” She said with an innocent look on her face.
“Are you saying that you purposely crashed into my pool?” He asked as he narrowed his eyes.
“No, it was. But....I was trying to perform a trick to ‘wow’ somepony.” She said as she bit her lip. “Some stallion to be exact.” The stallion put the pieces together in his mind.
“You were trying to get my attention?” He said as the mare nodded.
“Yeah, when you first came to Ponyville I kinda had a crush on you.”
“Along with almost every other mare.” He said as he rolled his eyes.
“Right, which is why I tried to do that stunt.”
“So why did you punch me in the eye when I pulled you out?”
“I figured that you’d think that I was the same as Rose and the others who tried to do that.” She said as she lowered her head.
“True. I can safely say that it’s no longer an issue.” He said as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. The two laid back down and the mare rested her head on his chest once more.The stallion soon fell asleep to the sound of the mares soft snoring.
Wake awoke to the sun shining in his face and the sound of gentle snoring coming from his mare friend. He sat up and heard the mare grumble. “C’mon Dash we need to get up.” He said as the mare let out a sigh and sat up with her messy rainbow mane drooping over her eyes. The stallion gently lifted his hoof and brushed it out of her face.
“What do you want for breakfast?” He asked as he got to his hooves.
“Waffles please.” She said with a smile on her face. The two ponies walked downstairs into the kitchen.
“Coming right up.” He said as he started to mix the batter. As the stallion cooked Rainbow looked around his house inspecting her boyfriends living arrangements. She stopped as she found a small photo frame with a light blue Pegasus colt, a red Unicorn mare, a dark blue Pegasus stallion and a light red unicorn colt smiling. “Waffles are up.” Wake said with a smile. Rainbow put down the photo and joined him at the table. The mare shoveled the waffles into her mouth and smiled.
“Somepony likes waffles.” He teased.
“Shut up.” She said as she swallowed her food. After they finished eating Wake trotted over to the sink and started to wash the dishes. As Wake toiled away Rainbow trotted into his living toom and picked up a photo of Wake, his parents and red unicorn colt. “Hey Wake, who’s this?”
“Who’s who?” He asked.
“This red colt in your family picture.” The stallion froze at the mare’s words. He lost his concentration making the dish he was cleaning crash into the tiled floor and break. “Wake?” She asked as she approached the stallion.
“H-he’s my little brother.” He said in a flat tone. Wake walked over to the closet and removed a broom and dustpan. Rainbow cocked an eyebrow at the stallion who put the broken dish in the garbage.
“And?”
“He’s......not around anymore.” He said as he hung his head in shame. The cyan mare’s eyes shrank and quickly hurried over to him and wrapped him in a tight hug.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” She asked as a few tears welled up in her eyes. The stallion ran a hoof through her mane and let out a sigh.
“It’s fine. It happened a long time ago.” He said as he broke the embrace.
“What was his name?”
“Reef Rider.” He said in a flat tone. The stallion bit his lip and collected himself. “Today’s my day off. So what are we doing today?”
“I got some weather duties to take care of. My shift get’s off at around noon, wanna get lunch?”
“Sure thing.” He said with a smile. Rainbow trotted over to the door and let herself out into the street’s of Ponyville. Wake locked the door after he left his home and trotted into the small town with the sun beating down on his back. The light blue stallion walked into the library to see Twilight surrounded by several stacks of newspapers.
“Hey Wake what’s up?” The Lavender mare asked as she waved to him.
“Not much. Are you trying to corner the world market on newspapers?” He asked as he looked at the piles of the paper.
“Ha ha.” She said in a sarcastic tone. “How are things going with Rainbow?”
“Good. We’re having lunch today.” He said as he picked up one of the papers. “Twilight this paper is over ten years old.”
“I know I got a whole bunch of Newspapers from all over Equestria.” She said as she continues reading.
“Why?”
“I’m interested to see what happened in the past decade to other towns.” She said with a smile. The blue stallion rolled his eyes and put the paper down. Wake gave her a nod and walked back out into the small town. The light blue stallion made his way to the park. He laid down on the grass allowing the sun to warm his stomach. The stallion looked up and saw a familiar shadow pass above him.
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Back in the library, Twilight was toiling away at the stacks of newspapers she had received that morning. As she finished the stack she levitates the next heap next to her. “Hmm....Colt Cod. I’m sure Wake would be interested in this.” She said as she started to read. An hour into the stack something caught the lavender unicorn’s eye. She picked up the head line and her eyes shrank at the picture. She quickly dove into the paper and skimmed it.
Twilight was so engrossed with the paper that she didn’t notice four of her friends enter. Pinkie and Fluttershy cocked their heads in confusion at the pile of news papers while Rarity and Applejack trotted up to their friend. “What in the hay is going on here?” The farmer asked.
“Shhh!” Twilight said as she raised a hoof. The mare’s waited until Twilight put her reading glasses down and lowered the paper. “We need to find Rainbow Dash and Wake.” She said in a flat tone.
“Why?” Rarity asked.
“I just read that he-” She was cut off as the cyan mare entered the library with her head held low. “Rainbow there you are. I just-” The mares then noticed that they cyan Pegasus had tears running down her face and her eyes were bloodshot.
“What happened?” Twilight asked as she and the others walked up to her.
“Wake......is cheating on me!” She said as she slumped to the floor and cried.
“What?” They all yelled. Fluttershy quickly sat next to her friend and wrapped a wing around her.
“I saw him kissing Flitter in the park today!” She said through the tears.
“Are you sure he wasn’t just doing that mouth to mouth thing?” Pinkie asked.
“While she’s on top of him?” Rainbow said in a rough tone. The farmer was fuming as she comforted her friend.
“I can’t believe that he’d do something so uncouth!” Rarity yelled.
“Next time ah see him I’ll-” The farmer was cut off as the door opened revealing the light blue stallion.
“Hey Rainbow I saw you fly over here and-” The stallion then noticed that all the mares were giving him a look that could kill a dragon. The cyan mare got to her hooves and slowly walked over to him with her head held low. “Rainbow what’s going-” He was cut off as a clenched cyan hoof connected with the left side of his face. The stallion was sent back onto the ground as he grasped his eye in pain. “Ow! What the buck was that for?”
“JERK! I cared about you and you go behind my back!” She yelled with tears flowing down her face.
“What in the name of Celestia are you talking about?” He asked as he got to his hooves.
“Don’t play dumb! I saw you and Flitter making out in the park!” She bellowed as her friends backed he up. The stallion’s mind clicked.
“It’s not what you think!” He pleaded.
“Bullshit! I know what I saw!” As the stallion took another step closer he was met with another punch in the same spot. “To think that I cared about you! How many other mare’s are there huh?”
“Dash it’s not what you think I-”
“I wonder how your brother would think of you right now.” She said in a hate filled voice. Wake felt the gears in his brain stop turning at the mare’s words. The stallion got to his hooves and frowned at the mare.
“I’m starting to regret ever pulling your flank out of the water!” He yelled back. Wake turned around and started to walk out the door. “Don’t count on me to save your flank for a third time!” He yelled as he slammed the door behind him. The cyan mare slumped to the ground and held her head in shame. The other mare’s quickly crowded around her and wrapped her in a hug.
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The light blue stallion barged into the bar and sat a the counter. He threw some bit’s on the hard wooden surface and ordered some Whiskey. As he was on his fifth glass a familiar dark Pegasus stallion with a white mane took a seat next to him. “What do you want Thunderlane? I’m not in the mood.” He said as he slammed back the drink.
“I saw Pinkie earlier today and she seemed pretty sad.” He said in a flat tone.
“So?”
“When I asked about you she gave me a look that could kill a dragon. Any reason why?” He asked as he ordered a drink.
“Ask your mare friend’s sister.” He said in a tone that could cut through diamonds.
“Flitter? Why?”
“Okay, this is what went down.”
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Wake laid on his back with the bright sun shining down on his face and stomach. He looked towards the sky to see a familiar shadow rocketing towards the ground. As he got to his hooves and squinted his eyes he could make out the light blue fur and the red bow in the Pegasus’s white mane. Wake took off and started to fly towards the mare ignoring the ever growing pain in his wings. He stopped a few feet in front of her and caught the mare as he slowly lowered himself and her to the ground. “You okay Flitter?” He asked as he started to pant.
“Y-yeah. Thank to you anyway.” She said with a smile.
“No problem. What happened?”
“My wing cramped up.” She said as she sat next to the stallion. “I can’t thank you enough.” She said as she moved closer.
“It’s fine.”
“No really.” The stallion then saw that their noses were inches away from each other. “I really need to thank you.” She said in a seductive tone. Before the stallion could react the mare pushed him down on the grass and pressed her lips against his. Wake then felt the mare’s tongue prod into his mouth and start to swirl with his. The light blue stallion immediately pushed the mare off of him and got to his hooves.
“What the buck are you doing?” He yelled.
“Thanking you of course and that’s not even the full package.” She said with half lidded eyes.
“Buck that! I’m with Rainbow.” He said as he narrowed his eyes.
“Oh come on! What does she have that I don’t?” The mare whined.
“A brain for starters.” He said in a rough tone.
“She won’t find out.” She cooed.
“Buck this.” He said as he flared his wings and took towards the sky. As he rose above the trees he could make out a cyan blur racing towards the library. The stallion smiled and gave chase after the mare.
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Thunderlane’s jaw dropped in shock at the stallion’s story. Wake took another sip from his tenth drink and hung his head in shame.
“Did you tell her what happened?”
“I tried.” He said as he pointed towards his bruised eye. The dark stallion paid for his drink and trotted out the door and back onto the street with determination in his eyes. Wake put his head on the table and poured himself another drink as three Pegasus stallion got up and made their way over to the bar.
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Back in the library. Twilight and the others were comforting the still disheveled Rainbow Dash. The cyan mare had either stopped crying or had run out of tears as she sat on the couch. Twilight broke the silence as she remembered something in the confrontation.
“What did he mean by a third time?” She asked.
“I don’t know and I don’t care!” Rainbow yelled. The mare’s heads turned towards the door as they heard a series of knocks.
“The library is closed.” Twilight said. More knocks came from the wooden door. Twilight groaned and got to her hooves. She opened the door to see Thunderlane and Cloud Chaser standing there with blank expressions on their faces. “Look guys. We’re having a bit of a crisis here and-”
“That’s why we’re here. I ran into Wake today and he told me what happened.” Thunderlane said as he walked inside.
“So you know how he cheated on Dash!” Applejack yelled.
“It’s not like that and I have proof.” He nodded to Cloud Chaser who grabbed something white in her mouth and started to pull. On the other end of the white tail was Flitter with a less than amused look on her face. Cloud spat the tail out of her mouth and glared at her sister.
“Now tell them!” The mare yelled as she and Thunderlane bore holes into the Pegasus mare. Flitter let out a sigh and looked at the mares.
“Wake didn’t do anything it was all my fault.” She said with a scoff. Rainbow’s head perked up and glared at the mare. “I was flying around the park and my wing cramped up. Wake caught me in time and I kissed him.” Rainbow’s rage for the stallion was soon replaced by grief.
“And?” Thunderlane barked.
“He pushed me off as soon as he could and yelled at me.” She said with a groan. The mares all looked at one another with guilt ridden looks on their faces.
“S-so Wake-” Dash tried to say.
“It wasn’t his fault.” Thunderlane said with a sigh. “He’s a wreck Dash. He’s practically drinking himself to death at the bar.” The cyan mare instantly got to her hooves and made her way towards the door.
“Thank Thunderlane.” She said with a weak tone.
“No problem. Now let’s get going.”
“One last thing.” She said as she stopped in front of Flitter. The cyan mare brought her hoof up and back hoofed slapped the Pegasus to the ground. “Try and kiss him again and I’ll break you half!” She yelled. The mare looked up at her and nodded her head as she gulped.
“Better?” AJ asked.
“Much.” Rainbow said as the group charged towards the town. As they passed Sugar Cube Corner Lyra ran up to them with a worried look on her face.
“Oh thank Luna! Thunderlane, Wake needs help!” She yelled.
“Why what happened?”
“Dumbbell, Hoops and End Zone walked up to Wake after you left and started a fight with him.” The group’s eyes shrank at the news. “It’s not looking good. They’re just outside the bar!” Thunderlane and Dash took flight towards the bar hoping to save their friend.
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Outside the bar a battered Hoops and End Zone were holding Wake by his hooves as a heavily bleeding Dumbbell pounded into his stomach with his hooves. Wake could taste the blood in his mouth and he spat into the brown stallion’s face.
“You mother bucker!” He yelled as he punched wake in the jaw. The blue stallion then broke free of the stallion’s grip and kicked the grey Pegasus into the wall of the bar.
“You think your so clever with hooking up with Flutter like that eh?” End Zone bellowed.
“Take her if you want her.” Wake said as he felt the pain in his stomach. The blue stallion’s left eye was swollen shut courtesy of Rainbow Dash and the alcohol was affecting his vision and balance. The brown stallion then tackle him and forced him to his stomach. The grey Pegasus then slammed his back hoof down on Wake’s back leg. The blue stallion cried in pain as he felt his bones break.
“Time for some tug of war!” The grey stallion yelled as he wrapped his front hooves around Wake’s wings. “What the?” He said as he started to pull causing the stallion to yell in pain. The pain in his back was suddenly released as the stallion was sent flying by a black hoof.
“Get off of him!” He heard a familiar voice yell.
Thunderlane?
“Touch him again and I will break you over my leg!” Another voice yelled.
Dash? The stallion looked out of his one good eye and saw the cyan mare unleash a barrage of hooves on the brown stallion. He then saw the grey stallion get blasted by a magical purple beam. Wake looked to his right to see Applejack and Twilight run towards him. The orange mare hopped in front of End Zone and spun around delivering a powerful kick to the Pegasus’s stomach sending him back against the wall. Thunderlane and Rainbow had finished with the other two and ran towards Wake.
Twilight ignited her horn and three cages appeared around the injured stallions. Wake tried to get to his hooves but was only met by a splitting pain in his back and leg. He looked up to see Rainbow looking at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry Wake! Thunderlane told us what happened and-” she was cut off as the stallion balanced himself of three hooves and was panting.
“I..I’m sorry....” He said as he started to collapse only to be caught by Thunderlane.
“I’ll get him to the hospital.” Twilight said as he horn flared.
“What about these three?” Rarity asked as she looked at the three unconscious stallions.
“I can watch them until the cops get here. GO!” Thunderlane said as he put the stallion on Twilight’s back. The mare’s horn glowed and the two vanished in a flash of purple light. Rainbow gave Thunderlane a nod and took off towards the hospital with the other four mares in pursuit.
Wooooo good chapter.
OOOOOOOOOOO. Ok that twas good. Moar please! Also Flitter you naughty girl.
Decent chapter, just not my cup of tea. The 'Kissing another girl *or mare if you will*' is common in alot of stories... simply apologizing and getting back together again as if nothing happened. Last time I dated a girl, another girl made a move on me girlfriend got pissed, yelled how she hated me & faked the relationship only to find out it was all a misunderstanding. Came back begging because her 'new' boyfriend didnt treat her even close as to what I did.
That said it's probably personal bias, but still good chapter, good reactions, though I'm not sure what started the fight between Wave & the others.
Sumarize :
+ Another chapter with crazy rushed plot.
+ You have no reasoning for anything at all, you just "state" that something happened and there without any explanation this stuff is happening.
Okay, so let's overanalyse this. Why Rainbow Dash had crush on him immediately? Especially, when you consider fact that in the original show we didn't see any particular RD -> other stallion scene. This would be reasonable in case of Rarity, but definetely not RD. Without explanation, this scene feel a lot OOC.
Actually, it's another big problem with the story. Your writing is the writing of "stated facts". Your reasoning of actions ( especially when you try to explain why RD is behaving like this ) is really poor, or doesn't even exist. It makes ( mostly Rainbow Dash ) incredibly OOC.
+ XXX thinks that his boyfriend is betraying him when he actually is not, so boyfriend is going to take some drinks while XXX finds out that it wasn't true and she is going to apologise him. For Sapkowsky's sake, this is so cliche' that it makes my eyes bleed. Actually, it wouldn't be so bad, but this scene is just so RUSHED. If you really want to write this type of stuff, you should expand it to at least three chapters or 12.000 words chapter without making it ridiculous.
+ Your main OC is rising in Gary Stu scale from 67% to 82%.
Okay, why would I like him? I don't think you realise, that Flaws of people/ponies are the most interesting, not Advantages! How can I like character that is so perfect there is no way for him to improve it? You created character that just can't learn anything. This chapter didn't try to correct this, bah! it makes this even worse!
However, you made one thing right. Finally these images are not that frickin' big and I want to thank you kindly for that.
Stay Awesome
Verlax
So far I have enjoyed reading this story, I look forward to the future chapters.
2620421 It is a good fic that has nothing to do with the show except for the personality of the rainbow. There is no point in overanalyzing a good fic like this and also the plot is not that rushed yes he skipped a couple months so what a lot of fics do that. Read some other authors and you will see much worse rushed plots.
2620287 If I am right Flitter is one of their marefriends (I think)
2620596 Ah I see... Doesn't make much sense for her to kiss wake then.
I love stories like these. :D
2620587
Ehm, what?
You mean that I should like this story only because others are worse? I simply can't follow that logic, not only because it's stupid, but because it's totally unfair for the writers.
To stay clear and neutral, my fic ( EQFaO ) has much more rushed plot, has some cliche' OC's, incredibly bad gramma etc. but that do not prevent me from making some rational critique. By the way, you mention only one problem I pointed out, and actually rushed plot is the least important here.
WHY DOES EVERY STORY I READ HAVE TO INCLUDE THOSE 2 SISTERS KISSING ALREADY TAKEN STALLIONS?!?!?! I LOVE IT!!!
2620622 “You think your so clever with hooking up with Flutter like that eh?” End Zone bellowed. is all it says in the story and wake says you can have her so maybe end zone has a crush
2620622 She's a slut then? My most logical answer for that.
Noooooooooooo!!!
Wake!!!!
Keep up the good wiritting :D
/)*(\
Review Time:
I am loving on how your using pics in this chapter.
So there is more to Wake than just his wings?(oh goodie)
Aw man! if this was Cloud Chaser I have the perfect picture to go with that(Oh well), Heres the best I could find to go with this scene.
th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/049/5/4/keep_calm_and_flitter_on_by_artpwny-d5vfjru.png
I'm guessing pulling on them would feel like rubber or something.*end of review*
This was an exciting chapter, so much anger and drama. I didn't think there would be any action in this story, but you proved me wrong(I don't like that). I wonder how long can Wake keep his wings a secret, it seems like its only a matter of time for the truth to come out(Cant wait to see the reason why he's keeping his wings a secret, the event must have been traumatic for him.)
eep
2622476 He's keeping his wings a secret because Rainbow knows a Pegasus with webbed wings saved her life and Wake being her savior isn't ready to reveal that. (although he kind of gave a hint by almost shouting "I wont save your flank a third time".
2628137
But he's been keeping his wings a secret way before hey even met Dash
Ahh, sorry i didn't see what you were getting at before.(although remember i believe his wings were a deformity?)
2629485 You'll find out in the next chapter.
2629621 It seems they might find out about his little secret eh?
The story, the exculation. I LOVE IT!
2631516 Exculation?
2629621 Oh i see, they will probably take that amulet necklace off in the hospital.
2632546 The story took a crazy turn, I typed it wrong sorry.
should be Thanks Thunderlane.
just thought i'd point that out
Happy face
Wait...you took out chapter 8 before I had time to read it?! Something big happened and I missed it!!!
WHY DELETE CHAPTER 8 ?
2639291 ugh! I was editing it and forgot to hit the publish button.