Chapter 6: Heading to the Kirin village
In the very first paragraph of Chapter 6, we learn the following:
In Canterlot. Twilight Sparkle and her friends have been captured and arrested by the invaders in green suits and black chest armor. And they are now being lead to the throne room by three of them, and they were carrying the same brutal black metal weapons.
Okay.
Chapter 4: A traumatizing transformation
Aaah! The "trauma" has reached the chapter titles! It's going to break the Fourth Wall and possess our brains!!! 
Charlie Lam was walking towards the exit of Ponyville to the forest ...
I don't appreciate Rage Reviews add my old fanfic to the group.
I mean, come on! I meant to type 'eternal life' not 'internal life'. From now on, I'll add a note to discourage people from adding my fanfics to rage reviews.
They killed my story and it hurts! Not to mention a large number of dislikes!
Please, don't criticize my fanfics anymore, okay? If things are incorrect, please suggest what I have to edit.
Blue Fang opened his eyes, before sitting up. He had taken his vacation to Mount Aris. He looked around. “I think I forgot something”
Rage soon emerged from his chest. “If you forgot something, then it wasn’t important.”
“Yeah, you're right.” He stood. “Ooh, my hooficure is in five minutes.”
With that, Blue trotted away.
~~~
Meanwhile, at the Hive…
hmm hmm hmm, just putting the finishing touches on chapter 27. Yep, that's looking pretty good. Maybe I'll just start on chapter 28 a little before going and posting it.
Wait, didn't I do that exact same thing already, when I finished chapter 26?
Uh oh. I was just going to start on 27 a little, before posting 26, and then I went and finished 27! I forgot to post 26, and just moved on to 28! Sheesh, I'm gonna lose readers at this rate.
>latest chapter
>Chapter 21: Twilight Sparkle
Chapter 11: Rough negotiations in the Changeling Kingdom (Part B)
After walking for about an hour through the Everfree Forest, Our Nominal Heroes Charlie Lam and Luster Dawn reach the Changeling Kingdom.
I call foul on this. 
Chapter 15: Consulation
Now this could be "consultation" or "consolation." For reasons involving the contents of the chapter, I suspect the latter. Though I am amused at the thought of Charlie Lam becoming a "consul" (diplomatic representative), given his demonstrated total ineptitude at diplomacy.
Blue looked around his room, smiling in victory. “Well, that was... fun.”
Yep. I got dinner.
“Whatever man.” Blue chuckled. “Oh, how I wish you had a body.”
Actually... A blue mist formed from Blue’s shoulder, forming a second head of sorts. “Hey Blue.”
“Woah... how’d you learn that?”
“Heh, well it had to do with when that unicorn extracted me from you. So...”
I've been looking at road rage videos and want to prove to you American viewers out there that we have some of the worst - and funniest - road rage videos out there. I came across this one from Sunderland, so if you start the video and jump to 8:22 minutes in, you'll hear what all British guys are like when they encounter a muppet behind a steering wheel who don't understand the highway code.
Have fun!
Blue found himself walking through Manehattan, using his pony alias, and simply walking through the streets of the large city. He’d soon found himself in a random store, just looking around. He soon heard the door open and saw a group of very armed ponies trotting in. He watched as they began forcing civilians and staff out, before aiming their crossbows at Blue. “On the ground, you!”
Blue sighed. “You probably want to put those weapons down.”
“Get on the ground, now!”
"Displaced fics"- Fanfictions that I very strongly dislike.
-Me.
Seriously, I don't like displaced fics. Not only do they make about as much sense as pineapple jell-o, but they are unoriginal. So I shall (very sarcastically) summarize every displaced fic I've read the description of:
My name was *something*, n I was a human. I went to X con dressed as Y and a misterious merchant soled me Z. Now I'm in Equestria as Y. Interactions. Contrivedness. Ponies.
Horizon liked this one, and I like Horizon, so it must be good.
About the small moments and touches that make the whole thing worthwhile to read. A call to action to write fluff, faff and meander with precision.
Special thanks to Pearple Prose on his miraculous advice on what writing advice guides usually lack:
Do you wanna hear and watch me as I rage in one of the hardest but fav game I ever played? You wanna hear me suffer in the face of the undead?
Well you are in luck!
Within the next couple of hours I will be playing Dark Souls 2 On the Ps4! I will have a mic set up (duh) but no cam (boo) but hey at least you can hear me suffer yes?
While there I will also ask any questions anyone has to ask about the story I am writing or anything for that matter!
Chapter 10: Rough talk with the griffons (Part B)
I broke off my previous review of this chapter when Charlie Lam and Luster Dawn headed up to the Griffons' cloud city, inexplicably named "the griffonstone cloudsdale" [sic].
Let's examine that name now. I have no idea why Author is calling the city this, as canonically Griffinstone and Cloudsdale are two separate cities; the first inhabited by Griffons and the latter by Pegasi.
Chapter 3: Arrival and meeting the ruler
Charlie appears in the Everfree Forest near Ponyville, because I'm guessing this is where the Chinese teleporter was focused.
"Whoa, what is this place?" Charlie said with wide eyes. After that, he began to approach the large gate. And once he got there, Charlie saw a devastated town which traumatized him.
Chapter 11: Rough negotiations in the Changeling Kingdom (Part C)
Chapter 10, "Rough talk with the griffons," Part C
Now we go to the POV of the Bad Guys.
Back in the military headquarters in Canterlot.
Where?
Seriously, Story can't seem to make up its mind over whether the Chinese have set up their main HQ in Canterlot or in Ponyville. The key seems to be that the invaders occupied "Twilight's castle," and Author seems to be unsure about just which castle this happens to be.
Chapter 16: Slavery experience (Part B)
It's the Slavery Experience! Get on board the ship for the onerous Middle Passage! Then get auctioned and sold away from all your friends and loved ones for a hopeless life of servitude!
Wow, that got dark fast.
So Charlie and Sunburst get to their literal slave labor together.
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