This is for those of you who aren't total noobs at writing. Don't worry, I'm not talking about you. You're not the noob. I'm talking about that other person who's not you. Yeah, him.

Anyway.

If you've been looking around the internet learning how to write for a while, you may have seen this advice:

Don't say "She saw the alicorn OC rip Celestia to shreds with pure angst." Instead, just say "The alicorn OC ripped Celestia to shreds with pure angst." It's much cleaner, you get rid of unnecessary words, and it's not bloody stupid.

This is solid advice. I'm not saying that you shouldn't follow it.

But.

Have you heard of "third person limited," aka "the best bucking perspective you can ever write in?"

Awesome, you've heard of it. Yes you have, don't lie to me. Okay, fine, here's a link: [Linkeroni]

Now, in this perspective, you only know the thoughts of one character for sure. And your description is going to be framed by going through that character's thoughts. You can only describe what that character knows. If she doesn't hear the two men behind her plotting her murder, then you can't mention it. Now, I could go more in depth here but that's not what this post is about. Maybe later.

What this post is about is using probabilities. Many many many professional writers will give you advice that basically says to never show uncertainty. Say the rope is five feet long, say the person grimaced, yadda yadda yadda.

That's called "show don't tell." This is good because you can describe what the other people you can't think as are feeling by saying, "hey, she's crying. That means she's sad."

But.

If for some reason you're going the "tell" route (and there are many legitimate reasons to do so), you can be uncertain. You can say someone "seemed" sad. I mean, not really. You have to really use it because you can't use anything else.

Um. Better thing is: if you for some reason can't show, you can use "seemed" to describe things.

Better? Oh, wait, thought of a half-decent example: "She wriggled. The ropes seemed loose. She tried again. Nope. Guess she'd have to accept her fate in the bunny fire. And she wasn't even a bunny. So unfair."

Got it? Confused? Want clarification? Please ask me because I'm drunk. Figuratively. On lack of sleep. That counts.

But yes, the word "seem" should be avoided like a scorpion where you can. If you can't avoid it, it's okay to put it in your house. But too many scorpions is bad because then you have to move out of your house and this metaphor is starting to break down so I'm just going to leave it at that. And if you look at my stories and are thinking, "Wow, what a hypocrite," right now, well, you're right.

6074834

Don't say "She saw the alicorn OC rip Celestia to shreds with pure angst." Instead, just say "The alicorn OC ripped Celestia to shreds with pure angst." It's much cleaner, you get rid of unnecessary words, and it's not bloody stupid.

Well, either way you get the same problem. It's still telling. Showing, on the other hand, is like this:

The determined beating of her wings carried her through the sky like a burning meteor as she continued to funnel magic into her horn. Target in sight, all the pent-up power was released in a cone of swirling black and purple magic, hitting Celestia square in the chest. Celestia was propelled in the opposite direction, her scream piercing the heavens as she landed in the newly formed crater in the middle of the throne room floor.

Now, tell me the first thing that pops into your head as to what that little snippet is talking about?

6074836
Well, yeah. I'm too lazy to write all that just for an example. The point is the perspective. You're not filtering everything through "she saw."

6074834

Please ask me because I'm drunk.

Join the club.

 Figuratively. On lack of sleep.

Oh. Sorry, please vacate the club.

That counts.

It does not.

6074840
4 days. 2 hours of sleep total. It fucking counts. I will fight you.

6074836

Now, tell me the first thing that pops into your head as to what that little snippet is talking about?

Twilight Sparkle launching a coup d'etat.

6074834 In other news, the whole 'seemed' phenomenon is, in my opinion, a bit of an extension of third person omniscient. Same deal with 'appeared', and other synonyms. I find it can (often) be used to circumvent the limited viewpoint of a character.

A similar thing can occur when characters aren't speaking, but their body language 'says' things. At that point, it might as well be verbal. I personally see these sorts of things as breaking the limited perspective and briefly opening the door to omniscient, although that doesn't necessarily mean I'm opposed.

There is, of course, a use for every word, weak or strong, but I've often seen words used to change the 'rules' of the story, so to speak. Not that there are rules. More like guidelines.

6074842 By the sound of it, I would win.

6074834
You type pretty well for someone who is drunk.

It's fine to write stuff like this while 'drunk', but I recommend against submitting until after you've sobered up.

6074870
Why?

6074834
After experimenting with various perspectives and narration types, I can confirm.

6074834

That seems to make sense.

6074840
Agreed on all points.