For some time now, I have been sucked into some kind of toxic argument situation, desperately trying to explain myself and my works to people who do not feel friendly at all. I have been told they are Anti's, that they are here precisely to fuck with me.

And I completely failed to notice or understand.

I, am a fucking moron.

That I still don't expect such crap, after three years of abuse here, says more about my credulous simplicity than it does about those that have come to try to tear me down. They, at least, understand the relationship, me... idiotic, moronic me, I just bumble along, always thinking the best, like... fuck.. I am fucking Derpy Hooves, aren't I? I'm Lillian Fogarty, after the shotgun surgery. "Hello! Let's be friends!"

What a maroon I am.

So, because I am totally confused, I have begged PeachClover, if he is willing, to play sheriff and clean up dodge for me, because apparently I am useless and too stupid to tell friend from foe. He may take some actions, he is a full-powered mod here.

When I get my skull together, or more likely my heart together, I will take some actions myself, once I feel I actually know what is going on.

For someone who claims to write intelligent fiction with emotionally real characters, I certainly can't manage to grasp my own life very well. I'm being ripped a new one, and I'm alternately trying to make nice and bitch back out of surprise and anger at being broadsided.

Only I am being broadsided in daylight, with perfect visibility, and I don't even see it. No wonder I get crabby - I feel like a blind person having stones thrown at them. I don't even see it.

So, I am an idiot. Hello! Want to be friends?

Goddess, I am useless.

Expect some sheriffin', one way or the other.

Laying on my floor, staring at the ceiling, feeling depressed and confused, ends now. I may be an idiot, but I have smart friends.

UPDATE

Nitrous Rainbows and CStriker421 are banhammered. In doing this, I checked and sure enough... I had blocked them a year, almost two years ago. Completely forgotten the fact. But, because blocking does not stop group posting, they could come and cause trouble. That will happen no longer.

Blitz Habenara Tuscania and Diomedes join them.

I hate that this is necessary.

Dammit.

You do wonderful stories. You have ideas that some folks disagree with. That's okay.

You don't have to let them get to you. So please, stop letting them.

You don't have to justify yourself to the folks who are trying antagonize you (and really, that's all these unpleasant individuals are trying to do). There are piles of folks here (metaphorically speaking) that enjoy your stories and support you.

Stop letting yourself get picked on. Ignore them. That'll grind their gears more than anything.

And yeah, I'll be friends with you!

4441292
Once upon a time in high school, I threw an apple. It landed on someone else's lunch table. Quite close to him, truth be told. That fellow got up and said, "What was that for?"

"I'm sorry," I said, "I wasn't aiming it or anything."

"Excuse me?" he asked as he got closer.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't aiming it at you."

"Excuse me?" He was getting quite close now.

I frowned and, slowly and clearly, said, "I'm sorry. I—"

Suddenly, I was looking at the ceiling. After a moment, I realized he had punched me.

Being too nice and not thinking things through can hurt sometimes, but there are far worse failings. And I would be happy to be your friend.

4441292
Not much to say except that times when anyone feels like this always do come, but they always pass, too. Hang in there.

Peach Clover's a good dude, I'm sure he'll cover everything just fine.

4441292 Thistle summed up what I wanted to say in his post. Jackasses are going to be jackasses, and they're going to pick fights just for the sake of them. It's not idiotic to have some hope that people are going to be a bit better (if anything, that's rather the opposite of the misanthropy claims said arseholes often put against you.)

Normally I'd just lurk and watch like I've done for many years, but ever since the shit that happened with you and some other authors on this site when these people came, I've decided I'll break my silence since then. I just want to give a little shred of hope at the very least, show someone cares what's going on.

Like you once said before in a blog post of yours when it comes to these people, if they keep at it, just block, ban and move on since most often they're set in their mind and only will use your own words as ammunition against you. And no, you're not useless, you just need to be willing to smack a filly and make judgement calls on when they get out of hoof ( I should know myself having adminned a Minecraft Server, always best to trust your gut instinct when it comes time to drop the banhammer.) Sure they'll complain, but when haven't they over some of the most trivial stuff?

That said, after things cool down a bit, maybe we could get back to what we enjoy and just have some nice pony fics, eh?

Ban the obnoxious haters, don't feel bad about it. Your friends will stick around.

*hoofbumps* I've always got your back. Friends stick together, Chat. I can safely say the same for Alfador and Gabriel LaVedier as well. We're all here to stand with you.

If you need somepony else to wield the Crowbar of Equestrian Justice, I'm happy to lend a hoof as well.

4441292

I can't say I understand your position, then again I'm not a particularly emotional person.

Perhaps a way to make exchanges, like what has occurred over the last few days, have less of an impact is to remind yourself that you hold an unpopular opinion. Come to accept that people will disagree and that they will challenge you on it. I don't know for sure, but maybe doing that will help you weather objections with less emotional strain.

As for the bans...

I don't see them as the right course of action. It may even make things worse, bans and comment deletions have been listed among the objections against you before.

Of course, I am not an admin and thus have no say in the matter.

I suppose I stand alone on this matter. Still, no matter. I am used to standing alone against larger groups; I can weather any objections.

As a surfer who dosn't come a shore much to interact in more way than an observer,
I just wanted to muse that you reminded me of a post involving Captain America and the Avengers I saw recently where it described their
strengths and weaknesses.
Cap's strength was his faith in humanity as was his weakness.

Not a bad weakness to have, but it does makes the water muddy when you need clarity.

Keep on doing the magic of writing you do Chatoyance, it's the only way to let the Unicorn inside you out, if only for a moment.

4441683
I am a very emotional person. Extremely so. I have been told that this is the very source and origin of my creativity, I do not doubt that. My passion is my drive to bother to do anything.

But I am also fragile. I know my weaknesses, and I though I don't like to admit it, I am very weak in terms of confidence, self assurance and ability to weather emotional abuse. I try to be tough. I try to be strong. But... there is no use lying to myself, or others. I am fragile as glass.

I am beyond weary, beaten down by the abuse I've endured here. Just completely trashed. I keep coming back because my good readers are here. Because I am driven to write. But I have had to leave for long periods before, just to cope.

It has been strongly advised to me that rather than trying to be something that I am not - tough, able to take abuse, strong and capable of just ignoring the stupid and the aggressive - that I should seriously and conscientiously make use of the tools here. Tools created precisely for the purpose of shutting off the endless faucet of running bastards.

Those tools are Banhammer 40K, Blocking, and Deleting.

Banning to keep trouble away, Blocking to shut abuse up, and Deleting to get rid of things that just bring me down and make me feel depressed. When I am depressed, I cannot write. I have crippling depressions.

As many have said here, I should do this because those who actually are friends will still be here.

And that is a very good point!

What am I even doing, trying to interact with people who do not want to be friends? That is just dumb as hell!

My purpose, my entire purpose, is to write the best stories I can for my friends here. Not for enemies, not for people who hate me or my work, certainly not for people who have no interest in possibly becoming friendly, if not friends, with me. MLP:FIM is about friendship. It says so right on the label.

Only an idiot would go against that on a site devoted purely to ponies, and even bother with people who are not interested at all in being friends. Yet that is what I have been idiotically doing!

No more.

From this moment forward, I ban, I block and I will delete any thing which makes me feel like shit. Because friends wouldn't do that to me, and I am here for nobody else.

This should be logical even to the unemotional. Or, at least I think so.

4441824

If you where to count me as a friend I suppose I would count as the 'asshole friend.'

The one that disagrees and gets into debates and arguments with the rest but isn't a complete dick about it.

But really I don't join groups, any groups, to be friends with anyone. I do it to ensure my stories appear in directories relevant to the subject they present. I joined this one because I had the intent to write a CB story. I am still here because I am still writing that story... and when a topic starts up that interests me I will comment, discuss and debate.

And let's face it, debates just aren't fun if someone doesn't take an opposing view.

4441886

And let's face it, debates just aren't fun for me if someone doesn't take an opposing view.

Fixed that for you.

You're a brony. Please try to imagine presenting that argument to Fluttershy. And now imagine what Rainbow Dash is going to say to you, so that we don't have to.

(Applejack, bite my tail.)

Please understand that you are a small and unimportant part of this group, that your desires, wants, and opinions do not necessarily have precedence or even equal weight, and that you have no right to free speech here. If you can't curb yourself to be kind to someone who needs kindness, in their safe zone? Then you deserve the banhammer coming your way - don't think you don't. Don't claim to be innocent, just sharing your views.

As an Atheist, a Rationalist, I know that there an infinity of battles to fight. That calling some people out and not others is not truly intellectually honest. However, the purpose of rationality is to win. If you're not winning, you're not doing it right. If you get kicked out and can't promote your story, and half of the TCB fans shun you, then you are not winning. Unless Chatoyance asks for arguments or criticism, maybe you should accept that means that they aren't wanted.

Chatoyance doesn't need an 'asshole friend'. She is not trying to discover ultimate truth. She is writing stories. She doesn't need someone to call her on her ideals, she needs people to support her.

4441824

Eeyup.

I want to point out, though, Chatoyance: I get fooled as much as you do - this isn't some personal failing on your part.

You need a safe environment to flourish, and that's okay. I'm glad you've taken this step - would that we could all weather criticism and hate without blemish, but that's just not realistic. We'll still be here, and we'll all protect you the best we can.

Your stories are beautiful. So much more beautiful and worthwhile than what your adversaries produce through freedom of expression. On here, in this space, sacrificing the latter to protect the former is a no-brainer.

I'm very glad to hear that PeachClover will be working on this. Distancing yourself from the action, so to speak, is probably the best thing to be done. The Antis will no doubt find fault, but as long as they are out there, at a distance, and you are in here, safe and happy, then it's the best course of action.

4441922

When have I started a thread to criticize Chat? When have I ever instigated a debate?

Never. I have only ever left critique of Chat's stories on her stories. I have only ever jumped into a debate when Chat herself opened the door to do so. I add my points to discussion that have already started, nothing more.

You talk about safe spaces, being shunned and kicked out. But did you ever once think of this; I have willingly walked into the den of wolves to face them on their terms? I have no 'safe space' of my own, I stand among those who would hate me and I do so without fear.

Why? Why would I do that if I stood to lose so much?

Perhaps if you consider that you may realize the purpose I have gained in staying.

4441948

Never. I have only ever left critique of Chat's stories on her stories. I have only ever jumped into a debate when Chat herself opened the door to do so. I add my points to discussion that have already started, nothing more.

I am unaware of Chatoyance, in anything like recent memory, specifically asking for conflicting viewpoints. You interpret her posts in which she defends herself or establishes her position on a subject to be invitations to battle, but she does not intend it that way, to my knowledge. You now know this, even if you did not before. If you do so again you do it in full knowledge that you are no longer welcome to do so.

You talk about safe spaces, being shunned and kicked out. But did you ever once think of this; I have willingly walked into the den of wolves to face them on their terms? I have no 'safe space' of my own, I stand among those who would hate me and I do so without fear.

And if this was a contest of bravery, how easily you would win. It's not, get over yourself. This is not about you. When I (rarely) enter enemy territory, I understand that I will be mercilessly set upon and devoured by (local) public opinion. I accept that I reject my protections by entering their space. I do not expect them to be courteous, I do not expect them to pity me for my pitiful and underpowering force, and I do not continue if I believe that for whatever reason, I am hurting someone beyond their ability to deal with that emotion.

"Oh, woe is me, a lone bullet trapped in a civilian's body. I am surrounded by the enemy!"

Why? Why would I do that if I stood to lose so much?
Perhaps if you consider that you may realize the purpose I have gained in staying.

The particulars of your personal philosophy do not concern me, nor does your personal growth if it comes at the expense of the well-being of my friend! Enough! About! You!

4441321
4441338
4441351
4441360
4441420
4441504
4441709
4441922

I am grateful, and honored, by your kind and generous words.

I will strive to write well and be worth your time.

Thank you, friends all.

4442046

Since you appear to be able to read subtext I will spell it out for;

All the objections, posts and comments I leave on this group and on Chatoyance's stories are for her benefit.

By constantly poking and prodding I intend to help her stop being fragile, to be able to handle the pressure.

I am trying to help.

4441824

We are all creatures of emotion, especially the ones who would deny it! Yet we're often told the realms of rationality and feelings are seperate and distinct. That's a load of road-apples!

Unfortunately this expectation also sets a lot of people on the path to disappointment in others and themselves.

I've always considered myself a bastion of rationality. My only ambition since I was a pre-schooler was to become a scientist and seek the truth. Most major gaffes in my life have been because I held this unshakeable conviction in my own rationality. But my really worst mistakes by far have been when I failed to perceive the emotional basis of others' behavior.

Five decades of life, half of it as a parent, have given me ample evidence of my own emotion nature and that of others. I've learned that genuine rationality means taking feelings at face value and adding them very deliberately into my decision process. The biggest effect of taking this approach is that most of those clear cut lines in my perception have pretty much all become fuzzy.

I don't mourn the loss. One of the biggest consequences of doing this is that it's far easier for me to forgive people now. I feel better about people, my blood doesn't boil, even when they misbehave, and when that happens, I take it far less personally. To love and be tolerant: aren't those what this community is supposed to be all about?

I'm so happy you're back Chat! Remember that you have a lot of friends here, and that despite the exposure to some negativity, there's a lot of love for you and your stories. And with what you've just expressed, I think you're on the right path! Rely on your friends to support you, we always will. Stand on that solid ground, but recognize and take care for your own emotional fragility, and that of others.

Also remember that this group is your space, your safe haven. It's perfectly correct to defend it and keep it a happy place. Do the emotional math. Some people are not coming here for enlightenment, all they want is to rile you. Don't give them what they want, and they'll go away, and if that fails don't be sad to ban them. If you have doubts then don't hesitate to ask or PM me, Noble, Peach or any of the other admins. We're there for you.

4441292

I, am a fucking moron.

Relatable thread is relatable.

Listen, don't get all annoyed over this. At the end of the day, I don't see anything that happens on the internet as being a valid reason to get angry with yourself, or call yourself a moron, or whatever. It doesn't really matter all that much, in the grand scheme of things. So chill out, read a book, drink some ice cold Lemonade water or something. Nothing is worth getting worked up over, ya'know?

4441292 I'm sorry you got hurt again. I know I haven't been around very much, but I hope you still consider me your friend. sorry I can't do more for you.

It doesn't take idiocy to fail to recognize malice. Just a certain... lack of social perceptiveness. A willingness to give people the benefit of the doubt even when there really, really shouldn't be doubt any more.

I've got it too, which is why I may not be a particularly effective moderator... but at least I may be trusted not to make decisions that are too hasty--if anything, the opposite. Hoom!

4442154

From Chatoyance's opening post, you can now understand that her decision is now to distance, rather than overcome. This is a perfectly fine strategy - perhaps not everyone can achieve, or is willing to sacrifice parts of themselves necessary to achieve the extreme emotional resilience necessary to continue wading through hate.

Is it not clear, somehow? You might think the best course of action is to make her stronger, but if she does not consent to that treatment, and yet you continue, then you clearly are not putting her first.

4441504
You already have full mod powers on this forum. You have... since pretty much the beginning, if memory serves. I trust you.

4442391
Of course I do! You have been nothing but kind in every way! I am glad you are here!

4443005

I hope to continue to retain that trust. I'm downright protective of you, if you don't mind my saying so. I get mean when my friends are threatened and harassed.

4441292
Hi, Chat! I was out of town visiting family since yesterday in the morning, so I have some catching up to do with the recent threads. Know this though: we, all your friends and fans, love you. Yes, we do.

Once I finish reading everything (including this thread), if there's something more for me to add, I'll comment more. Now it's kinda late in my timezone and I have to go to bed.

4443917
4443955

I am grateful simply to be worth the attention of both of you.