EMissed Stop, Monstrous Meeting

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Comedy
• Drama

You wake up from your nap to discover that you missed your train stop. Now you are on a ride to the Crystal Empire. Fortunately, there is somepony here to keep you company.

• Alt. Universe
• Second Person
• OC
• Coconut Cream

Robipony · 6.2k words  ·  201  3 · 2.8k views

Summary of Story here:You are a unicorn stallion, who wakes up to find that you fell asleep while on the Friendship Express and have missed your stop in Ponyville. Now you have to wait until you reach the next stop in the Crystal Empire in order to return home.

Fortunately across from you is another traveler, who might be a little odd but is still willing to accompany you on your journey. She is a chimera pony hybrid by the name of Amble Barb.

Initial thoughts: I've read Robinpony's works before, and I must say he's really got his "style" down. You can just tell. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it just flows like a river. And it never feels like you're bored or hoping to get to the end. It's engaging, detailed, and charming. Quite a quaint little tale. However, those not into 2nd person stories, won't find anything out of the normal. So I can only recommend it to followers of Robinpony or those that like romance and slice of life with a 2nd person perspective. 9/10

What I liked: The characters. Both the "writer" and the monster mare have enough personality to be interesting, and charming, and have made me want to know oh so much more about them. And honestly this story doesn't go on long enough to really give you a feel. It's almost like a good foreplay, it builds you up for something, then it just stops. I know that's a perverted way of phrasing it, but it just works.

What I didn't like: The ending. I feel like I'm missing a big chunk of the story. What happens now? I understand that it's a good cutting off point, and Robinpony likely has other stories to write, but seriously, this STORY needs a sequel. Come on Robinpony, don't leave us hanging!

Grammar: I saw a few grammar issues, nothing major. Another round of editing would clear them right up, but it's hard to notice them. 9/10

Characterzation: Solid, strong, likable, charming, full of atmosphere. 10/10

Story/Concept: Most of the stories i've seen by Robinpony have been about a "insert character here" meeting a monster mare of some sort, and while that is all well and good, no story I've read stands out as it's own thing. Until now...this one could be truly something special, something grand, but it's left with making me crave more. Which technically is a good thing! 9/10
PLEASE WRITE MORE.

Overall thoughts: Obviously if you didn't figure this out, I really enjoyed this piece, and it was a lot of fun to read, and I love forward to seeing more of Robinpony's works. Keep being awesome my friend. 10/10

Final score: 9=10+9+10+10=48/50
or 9.5/10.

7160052 Thank you for the review, I really enjoyed it.

There are actually some sequels already out and you have actually already reviewed one of them, though admittedly while she has been mentioned in the sequels, she hasn't be a main character in the series until my most recent story, Under the Mistletoe. While you can read this one if you want, you might be left a little bit in the dark if you haven't read a few of the other stories (one of which, I want to go back and adjust using the feedback from another reviewer).