A Negative Review - My Little Reviews & Feedback

Nailah #1 · Feb 20th, 2020 · 2 · ·

One of the positive things about being enlisted in the Solar Guard is all the possible mares Rainbow Dash could chase after. A negative? The one she's really after is in the Lunar Guard, and she's pretty… batty.

JackRipper · 12k words · 493 20 · 7k views

Summary of Story here: One of the positive things about being enlisted in the Solar Guard is all the mares Rainbow Dash could possibly chase after.

A negative? The one she's really after is in the Lunar Guard, and she's pretty… batty.

Initial thoughts: I enjoy romance, a LOT. Mainly because it gives me the thing I lack in my own life, plus gives me this warm fuzzy feelings, and in this story I could easily feel the connection between the two lovers and their bond. However, as others have said, the whole thing feels incomplete, as though we're missing out on a good chunk of the story. I can understand why since Jack is very busy with college, but maybe someday it wouldn't hurt to have a follow up sequel. 8/10

What I liked: Everything. I enjoyed the characters, the romance, the slice of life elements. The whole piece was just something I didn't want to put down, and when I got to the end I was just left wanting. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It means Jack knows how to hook you in.

What I didn't like: Honestly, the only thing I dislike here is how short it is. This story could easily have been much longer. But for what we got it's great. Awesome even.

Grammar: 10/10

Characterzation: Both Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy feel like themselves despite Fluttershy being altered a bit for the sake of the story. I also liked the whole Romeo thing with how the Solar Guard and the night guard really don't get along well. It just adds a whole different atmosphere to the romance. Though I will say Luna could have had more of a role in the story, but the focus is where it should be.10/10

Story/Concept: I'm sure this idea has been done before. After Flutterbat was canon there was a LOT of fanfictions about her. And there's plenty of RainbowxFluttershy or FlutterDash as it's called. So Jack had to find a way to make his stand out, and I couldn't tell you exactly how he manages it, but the story feels wholesome. 9/10

Overall thoughts: Really, I'm having a hard time finding things to complain about, which is really good. It's always refreshing to not know what to say rather than have two pages long of everything that is wrong. I really want to encourage people to write more. Espicially with the show over we really need to show others there's still reasons to write. Plenty of stories to tell. You keep being awesome Jack, and hopefully school goes quickly and we can see more from you. 10/10

Final score: 8+10+9+10+10=47/50
9.5/10

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