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Finally finished mine!

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/390487/chaos-rocked

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Oh man. You actually did that one. A ha ha ha ha! Excellent!

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I couldn’t resist

Chaos is magic!

Done!

Sheesh! Writing is both easier and harder than before, depending...

It's this- this trainwreck: It's spelled with a "V"!

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Well, I missed the deadline, but I still had fun working on it. Maybe next time, eh?

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This is the last time I'll ping everyone like this. I just wanted to say thanks to you all, even the ones who didn't finish. It's been a ton of fun, and I'm already looking forward to the E/T shipfics version of the contest.

We got 9 entries, which is the most for a contest I've run! I've got a lot of reading ahead of me, looks like. I'll contact everyone who entered when the judging is done.

Thanks again, everyone!

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For some reason I didn't get a notification for the message, but I've been checking the thread regularly so no problem there.

Also, I just wish I had something to offer as a prize, then I'd be able to propose contests...

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Well, there's always just adding winners to the winners folder, I'm happy to do that for any contest somebody wants to run in the group.

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To be fair, after thinking it over some more I feel it should be more of a prompt, as I am slowly but surely getting more interested in reading longer stories about artificially-created beings, be it in a Pinocchio situation, to golems, robots, ponified (or dragonified, etc, I'm not speciecist) objects, whatever a pony homunculus would be called, and AIs in general.

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The results are in! In the quickest judging I've ever done, I think (because I really couldn't wait to see what madness you all had gotten up to) I have read them all.

First of all, I want to thank everyone again. These were all, without exception, a lot of fun!

Second of all, I must confess that I did the judging slightly drunk. Not completely plastered, I had to be able to type up judging notes, but a lot of these read much better a little tipsy. What can I say, they're weird!

It was also hard to choose! All were entertaining, one way or another. The top few were absolutely a blast to read. But there was, in the end, one clear standout. Comedy wasn't a requirement, but if you're going to do it, do it well, and this did.

So our winner is The Crackling Fires of Love, by Damaged

Please contact me and let me know what you'd like me to draw for you!

Honorable mentions go to Donuts Come in Bulk, Age Ain't Nothing But a Number, and It's spelled with a "V"! which were each very good in their own ways. I'm afraid this time around I can't say there weren't any bad fics, one was actively bad (you know who you are) and a couple fell short in various ways, but given the hands you were all literally dealt, I'm pretty pleased with the results! And as I said above, even the bad ones were still fun to read.

So for those of you who want to know, here are my detailed judging notes on each of the entries.

Fuck Me, Baby, So Hard!
by Tilgoreth

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
Right out of the gate this has some problems. The second sentence appears to be missing a word and the third sentence switches tenses. The the fourth switches back again. And then the other way. And then back again. It has serious problems with past and present tense, is what I'm trying to say. Overall I think it's not the worst thing I've ever seen, it wasn't bad enough to completely ruin my reading experience, but it's pretty rough. It really could use a pass by a good editor or two, though I've no idea where you'd find somebody who wants to edit something like this.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
This is also more than a little rough. It dives into the sex with only the barest of "pizza delivery guy" style pretense. There's a reason for the fucking, but it's not much of one. There's no real plot here at all. Rainbow wants fucked, Trixie is not enthused but feels she has to do it. There's fucking, then there's silly parody fucking, then there's ridiculous fetish fucking, then an even more ridiculous troll ending.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
The first section (the initial hornfuck) comes close. There are moments that are almost there, but there's just not quite enough. It's short, skimming over moments that most clopfics would linger on. It doesn't take itself seriously at all, yet the fun it has is just random and weird and not at all sexy. It could be sexy with a little fleshing out, or with any sense that the characters are actually enjoying themselves. Though it might have to trim some of the more unrealistic bits (self fucking is possible, but self-horn-fucking is really pushing it. Also, acting like mare-cum is the same as a male's cum is a pet peeve of mine, there's no gush at climax for most people, it's just leaking wetness all along, but I could have let that pass if the rest had been sexy at all.) The ending also kills any trace of boner I might have had.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
Absolutely. Full points here. What little plot there is revolves entirely around the prompt given, so there's nothing lacking there.

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
Honestly, the only points this gets are for being so silly that it kind of comes all the way around from being bad to being good. You could do a great MST3K style sendup of this, it's that kind of story.

Final score: Awful. Yep, it really was that bad, congrats!

The Crackling Fires of Love
by Damaged

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
This is fairly impeccable. I didn't notice anything I could call a "mistake". A few bits of phrasing were slightly awkward, that's the only quibble I have here.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
Ohgods. This is awful and wonderful and amazing and wrong. It could maybe be better, from a strictly storytelling perspective, but I laughed so much that I don't even care. I will say that the one standout issue it had was that the Blueblood is a princess thing really does come from nowhere, and seems to serve no purpose. (I know, it serves the purpose of meeting the contest requirements, but it sticks out as something that doesn't work in a fic that otherwise works really well.)

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
It's just a little bit too silly to really work as clop. It's not awful, not remotely! But I'm laughing far too much to really get aroused. (Although I do appreciate the mention that Princess Blueblood is a squirter, it fixes the problem I tend to have with marecum, as I mentioned above. It's at least addressing the issue, not just acting like mares = stallions.)

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
Hoo boy. Yes it does. Not at all in the way I expected, but it absolutely does.

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
"Rarity had what some would call the best view in the castle, assuming you really liked Rainbow Dash's butt."

Ah ha ha ha ha. I am dying here. All the little hints of Rarity/Rainbow Dash shipping were a nice bonus.

Final Score: Hilarious and very good.

Donuts come in Bulk
by Penalt

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
There are a few small errors, mostly probably typos. There are some punctuation problems that could be fixed, and a few awkward phrasings, but nothing that really detracts from the reading experience.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
It's a little bit of a "pizza delivery" plot, it's not super deep, but it does the job. I got a good giggle out of Daring Do's note, too.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
I think the comedy slightly overwhelms the sexyness on this one, but it's a close thing. It does a good job of being a clopfic, it's jut also damn hilarious, which kept distracting me with laughter.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
Yep. Full points for both characters and the shipping situation. Pretty nicely handled in both cases, really.

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
“Baker, remember?” Joe asked, smiling. “I have to taste everything first.”

“Stop worrying about the damn ingredients Joe,” Bulk said... “Let’s just bake the damn cake already.”

So many hilarious lines, OMG. Also, nice use of the Bulk/Snowflake fannon/canon thing. And the ending is absolutely stellar.

Final Score: Great. Both amusing and sexy.

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number
By LewdChapter

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
I didn't spot any errors.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
Well as a comedy fic it's hard to beat. Holy shit, I laughed so much. But really, it works too, if also on a mostly "pizza delivery guy" thin excuse to fuck premise. But it's a clopfic, I'll take it. I did find the ending a little odd, but honestly that got a laugh too, so hell, I won't complain!

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
I found Twilight's interjections slightly distracting, if I'm being honest. Funny, but distracting. The rest of it was pretty good, though.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
All the elements are there. Plus Twilight as voyeur, which wasn't in the prompt, so you go with your kinky self!

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
I have such a soft spot for Cady/Shining in unconventional, open, or poly situations, so this does it for me on that front pretty nicely. The silliness is also fun, (Twi's One Night Stand Algorithm and other such amusements!.) It doesn't take itself seriously and it doesn't need to.

Also, "She chuckled to herself, looking Shining up and down the way a lion would an antelope."

"(scientific curiosity was, in Shining’s experience, the biggest cockblock in Equestria). "

"Shining Armor instantly forgot everything he had read, as well as how to do basic things like breathe evenly and speak ."

Heeeeeeeeeee.

Final score: Good and also hilarious.

Jacks and Queens
by thathornypony

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
It has a few very minor errors, but they're not the sort of thing that ruins the reading experience.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
It's got a lot more plot than most of these. The pathos of AJ recognizing that she's a background character to her friends had some bite to it. The premise for sex is still a little bit flimsy, but it has a good stab at making things actually work. I think my biggest complaint is that everything goes very fast. Hate to lust to actual love happens over just a few days. I know that writing a more convincing version would have made it super long, but if you can't do something right, it's possible you shouldn't do it at all, and I think it might work better as a story if it leaned more on lust and left love out of it, or had the only mention of actual love at the very end.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
It's not bad! The prose is a little bit on the purple side in places, but as flowery romance novel names for body parts go, Twilight's "purple valley" is better than some I've seen.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
Full points there, definitely.

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
It is a very difficult thing to try and balance keeping Chrysalis vulnerable and able to be tender, and yet in-character, and this was a pretty dang good attempt at that. Also, great title!

Final Score: Pretty damn decent

A Cell for Two
by Absolutely Vanilla

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
Pretty impeccable, just a few punctuation errors and a couple of weird phrases that could stand to be cleaned up.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
The pacing is a little on the fast side. I won't complain too much, given how long this would be if it weren't! But it does rush in places. The premise to get to the sex works pretty well for something that's obviously contrived just so there will be clop. Elytra is a decent OC, and the characterization of Spy Twilight works pretty well too.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
I think it just skims the edges of it. Honestly the sex suffers from the same rushed pacing as the rest of the story. It's relatively quick, it's a little bit sketchy, and sometimes I wasn't actually 100% certain what was going on. (I noticed the author's note that they are not comfortable with names for male genitalia. I feel that, I cringed the first time I wrote "cock" in something, but sometimes you just gotta bite down and call a cock a cock. Or a pussy a pussy, I actually find female genitalia harder to describe, myself. But anyhow, the lack of clear description of what organs are going where does hurt it just a tiny bit.)

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
The picnic is a little bit tacked on, but it's there, so I won't ding the story for that.

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
The spy adventure part of this was pretty well developed. Honestly you could probably get decent mileage from turning this into a non-clop story. Expand those sections a little, draw the curtains over the sex or come up with some other escape macguffin, and it'd still work just fine.

Final score: good, but has the potential to be better

It's the End of Equestria, But Spike Feels Fine
by gaitiem

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
There are a ton of awkward phrases, words I suspect are misplaced, typos and other such small problems. It doesn't have any massively awful errors, but the small ones pile up, so that it's unclear and doesn't flow smoothly in a lot of places. It's not awful, but it could use some editing.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
It's a little bit abrupt and choppy. It could stand to be fleshed out, to give the plot a little more room to breathe. The world is pretty interesting, it's not a straight up copy of Mad Max, it's obviously had at least a little thought put into how the various Equestrians would survive in a post-apocalypse. The lead in to the clop is a little strained, though I've certainly read worse, and suffers from the same choppy abruptness that the rest of the story does. It's the kind of thing that probably won't ruin it for you if the story/pairing is your cup of tea, but it makes it harder for the average reader who's not specifically shipping or fapping to this to get interested.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
It's probably damning with faint praise to say I've read worse. It's not awful, but once again it's choppy and abrupt. There's no foreplay really, and the sex itself is straightforward and a little awkward. Given we're told Spike hasn't done this before, it can read well as a virgin trying this for the first time, but being told that after the sex is well under way makes that kind of weird too.

Also, just a tip - this scrupulously maintains the Starlight/Thorax and "they" thing, reminding the reader that Spike is actually mating with a male. In my experience writing changeling and shapeshifter sex, it works a lot better if you just drop the reminder. We all know what's going on, but the writing will be more natural and the sex will tend to be hotter if you drop the "they" and swap to "she" once things get started.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
Spike, check, changelings, check, gender-bending, check. Full points on every front there.

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
The over-the-top-ness of this, especially the beginning, is amazing. Spike's ponyskin jacket. The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. OMG. Everything about the story's intro is absurdly too much, and given what it's based on I'm pretty sure that's on purpose, so kudos!

Final score: okay, but could be much better with a little work.

Chaos Rocked
by Sandstorm94

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
Mostly clean. It had a few small mistakes and awkward phrases though, it could use a good editing pass.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
This is... weird. I mean, given it's about Discord and a rock I shouldn't be surprised, but it puts extra weirdness in there that wasn't required. Twilight having killed somebody is a very serious note, and then it jumps almost straight to the Rainbow/Pinkie cum lemonade thing, which is... uh... okay then. Then it just skips from Spike halfway dumping Rarity to Tom, and Rarity instantly wanting him, even though she said to never speak of it again and she knows nothing about the situation or what Tom even is in this context. I recognize you got dealt a really difficult hand, but given that you settled on "Tom" being a futa mare from an anthro reality, I think there might have been a less random way to introduce her to the situation. And then it jumps straight to a Mistress/pet scenario. Which it does nothing with. And... it's just really random, hops around a ton, and doesn't work terribly well as a story at all.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
It suffers some from the hopping randomness. The foreplay is strange and abrupt, the anal virgin thing is in some ways even stranger. It settles down to being a little more sexy once they really get going, admittedly. Although I have a feeling the author really wanted to do Rarity/FutaMareTom instead.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
It does indeed! Congrats on making anything at all out of one of the worst draws anybody in the contest got!

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
I'd probably read Rarity/FutaMareTom if it existed, so there's that.

Final score: needs work

It's spelled with a "V"!
by Archmage Ansrit

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
A few typos, and a lot of awkward phrasing. I know I say that a lot, but really it's the bane of this site, I swear. Mostly good here, though.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
It's not perfect, I could poke at some holes (Time Turner is like, "You got that drunk?" and then immediately explains the circumstances under which Flam got that drunk, so obviously she knew. Things like that.) The in-media-res beginning and unfolding of the explanation is good, though. The excuse for clop works much better than many of these stories have, too.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
Definitely. I think in some ways it's one of the better bits of clop I've read in this contest, really. I won't say it's perfect, but it was pretty damn good. It could still be improved, admittedly, I think some of the descriptions are a bit vague and unclear, but there's nothing that's actively bad, certainly.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
Very much so! Full points!

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
The pacing and flow were really good on this one, that stands out quite a bit. A lot of the other stories felt rushed and jerky, but even though this is short and skips around a lot, it manages to do so without feeling cramped.

Final score: quite good

So that's it! Thank you all again, and be sure to check back in about two weeks, when I'll be starting the Crackships for Christmas contest!

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Second of all, I must confess that I did the judging slightly drunk. Not completely plastered, I had to be able to type up judging notes, but a lot of these read much better a little tipsy. What can I say, they're weird!

That probably helped, since I wrote mine while sipping two fingers of scotch.

As for the prize, I would love if I could have Princess Blue Blood, in all her glory (interpret that as you will).

Thanks for the contest and the input. I'm of course disappointed that I didn't win, but I had great fun with this and look forward to the next contest.

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I appreciate that you gave feedback. I don't think I've ever seen that from anyone in a contest results without asking for it.

Thanks for everything.

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Well, I like to take notes on how the stories do each part of the grading rubric, it's especially useful on the contests where I take weeks to do all the judging, otherwise I'd forget the early stories by the time I got to the later ones! So since I have to take them for myself anyway, it's not hard to clean them up a bit and post them as feedback. I figure it's the least I can do.

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Oh boy. I may have to read it again (oh no!) to get some ideas of what bit to draw.

Ah, well, since English is simply my second language, and I do have some odd mental processes, it was to be expected that my sentences were off.

I'd need an editor or proofreader, but then it might not be what I had in mind, so...

Not to say I couldn't use one, but what makes sense to me might not make sense to other people, and viceversa.

If I do expand it, I'll take care of holes like those, though.

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Thanks for the feedback. I suspected that my story took itself a bit too seriously compared to the other entries, but oh well. It was still fun coming up with a way to make a ship like that work. Maybe I'll just try more alcohol next time. Cheers!

Thanks for the feedback

What are these cards from?

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It's a card game called Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder. Pretty fun game, as you can imagine.

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where'd you buy it?

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At Bronycon a couple of years back.

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You can download the cards in PDF format for free; the base game and a few expansions.

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where?

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http://www.secretshipfic.com/

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Thanks for the review, and for the contest in general. I know mine wasn't very good, and I could have put a lot more thought and work into it if I wanted to, but I mostly just wanted to get back into the swing of writing something, even if i wasn't that invested in it. Thanks to writing that, I felt compelled to finally finish the second half of my more major project, so it was definitely productive in more ways than one. I look forward to future contests.