there is a moment

once in every pony's life

when the time comes

to shed one's baby tail

don't worry, sweetie

it won't hurt

The village had been perfect, free from the inequality and misery rampant throughout the rest of Equestria. Then Twilight Sparkle and her so-called friends arrived and ruined everything.

But all hope is not lost. Starlight Glimmer has a plan to restore her lost utopia on a much vaster scale.

After all, it's not like that purple princess was friends with anything worse.

Story contains spoilers for the Season 5 premiere, nonspecific allusions to torture, and nuts. Story does not contain Nikita Khruschev or shoes.