) Disney saw fit to re-release The Phantom Menace in cinemas for one week for the film’s 25th anniversary (only two weeks off). It almost slipped my mind until today, hence Monday Musings being a few hours later (advantage of a Bank Holiday, peeps – a freeGhost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #30 · 5:00pm Sep 26th, 2022
Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if this week’s Monday Musings sailed by most folks, what with Hasbro and Netflix, in their infinite wisdom, dropping nearly three hours of G5 content across eight Make Your Mark episodes on us today. I’ll certainly be watching at least a few of them. Regular readings know of my expectations, but I’m gonna continue to largely keep them out of these Ponyfic Reviews. I doubt they will affect the fics here much, either in the short term or the long term: very few G5 fics have incorporated MYM thus far, and none I’ve looked at. I expect these episodes will have a slightly larger effect on fanfic, but only marginally. Will I review these eight episodes? Undecided. We’ll see.
Since the month’s end has crept up on us, time for another Author Spotlight! I’d actually planned to start with this author two months back, but figured it was better to go with lesser-known authors, for this guy certainly needs no introduction: Lets Do This. At nearly 1,000 followers, and in the site’s top 350 most-followed users, they may well be the most-followed post-movie author on Fimfiction. Their work spans many genres, though with a slant towards Twilight stories and usually a lightly comic touch for slice of life stories focused on character relationships and associations. Plenty of drama too, mind! What sticks out more is their writing style; they are one of those rare writers that can largely nail dialogue and character with very sparse action descriptions around the words, and thus their work tends to be briskly-paced and quickly digestible. This style doesn’t always work – it often shows cracks for longer or more dramatic works, neither of which it is well-equipped to handle – but it usually does.
I will confess, I am not as big a fan of their work as some; it’s not their fault that a lot of their work is tied up in characters/show aspects well out of my level of interest or respectability. I’ll pass on the Airship School of Friendship AU, if it's all the same, ditto for all the G4->G5 fics. And then there’s Not Exactly Friends, a twenty-story series (mostly one-shots, granted) encompassing Filly Twilight forming her own Mane 6 of the show’s various villain unicorns and then spinning between light fare and show two-parter AUs. Hard to dedicate reviewer time to a series that long. Yet even in the nearly-thirty of their fics I have read, a decent chunk of them can be indulgent in bringing in questionable ideas and gags to otherwise-sturdy fics (it certainly brought down Princessy Things back in Monday Musings #5). Hardly a sin, but these lapses in restraint happen enough to make themselves known.
Still, having to thus consider what fics will be promising isn’t a hindrance with a library of nearly 80 fics, and even alongside the many I’ve rated and need to reread to re-evaluate, I don’t doubt I’ll be continuing to read and enjoy their fics for months to come. Years, really. And while the five today aren’t the widest showcase of their genres (no heavy dramas, for one thing), it’s a solid enough batch you can’t go wrong with. And barely dipping in word count from last week either!
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
The Zap Apple Conundrum by Lets Do This
Princess of the Day by Lets Do This
When Ponies Fly by Lets Do This
The Two Unicorns by Lets Do This
Discord Breaks The Map by Lets Do This
Weekly Word Count: 48,387 Words
The Zap Apple Conundrum by Lets Do This
Genre: Adventure/Mystery/Slice of Life
Twilight, Applejack
5,123 Words
May 2019
While doing magical research of her own, Twilight is approached by a nervous Applejack, with an unusual and alarming problem: they’re still waiting on the first signs of the Zap Apple harvest, which is weeks overdue! Never one to leave a friend hanging, Twilight pledges to help investigate. But when their search leads them into the Everfree Forest, it turns out all is not as it seems.
This story really only has two goals in mind; craft a mild mystery for Twilight and Applejack to solve that utilises their strengths and has them play off each other well, and craft some compelling lore out of the Zap Apples beyond the intentionally silly shenanigans present in the show. It’s successful on both fronts; Twilight and Applejack always had the most measured, calm interactions out of any of the Mane 6 in the show (excepting one being written differently to facilitate a plot, as happened to poor AJ quite a bit), and this largely continues that to admirable effect. The mutual respect between the two is mingled nicely with in-character lapses of judgement on both ends where the other can pick up the slack. Most obvious is Twilight correcting Applejack on saying they can just try things with magic until they succeed, as experiments need reliable historical knowledge on principle, though Applejack giving the other a morale boost when the cause of the trouble is discovered later on is nice too. As for the Zap Apple lore, something I’ve hardly ever read in fanfiction (presumably due to how nonsensical the rituals in the show for it were), it’s a nice bit of scientific interpretation, at least within the wheelhouse of magical fantasy where many things are believable if explained convincingly enough. These two ingredients are just the ticket for a short little science adventure.
And… that’s about all we get. There really isn’t much else to say, except perhaps that while there’s a lot of solid, effective and clever writing here, nothing really sticks out. It’s competency and functional, but not much more. I think the numerous portions that consist of Twilight and Applejack talking don’t flow all that organically, contributing to the story being largely observed rather than felt by the reader. Or put another way, the ideas are there, so is the characterisation, and the order of events, but it didn’t quite click beyond being enjoyable in the moment. That feels like the main reason why it’s a little underwhelming, at least coming from an author as talented as Lets Do This (though honestly compels me to admit I do tend to be slightly softer on his work than most people). The only properly off parts that stuck out is questionable characterisation for Granny Smith (which the comments have provided headcanon rationalisation for, but not one that really excuses it, least in the moment) and some slippage with phonetic accent writing for AJ, both rather minor things.
No matter. Even as work where the whole doesn’t quite feel the sum of its parts, it’s a fine read, especially if you’re game for some magical realism as filtered through the Mane 6’s most level-headed members that results in an organic fable of ecological awareness.
Rating: Decent
Princess of the Day by Lets Do This
Genre: Comedy/Drama/Slice of Life
Twilight, Mane 6, Celestia, Derp, Cheese Sandwich
10,290 Words
August 2018
Only a month into being a Princess, Twilight is fed up. Not with the extra tasks, nor the formality, but with the constant emotional distance her friends are keeping her at. Thus, with her friends’ permission, she casts a spell to swap her alicorn nature onto each of them for a single day, letting them lead in her place, to see what it’s truly like. Yet perhaps they’re not the only ones who have something to learn from this.
One of Lets Do This’ earliest fics, this was quite refreshing in how unambitious it is. Oh, not to say there aren’t layers and clever ideas integrated into the individual vignettes, for there are. It’s quite fun to see how exactly each pony finds being Princess to be a bit too much, which starts out as typical “it’s too much!” reasons but some become more nuanced takeaways. And the parts that reflect back on Twilight are nicely insightful too. But this is still an uncomplicated, high-concept fic very much looking to feel like an episode of the show, especially in moral reasoning and the humour within. Obviously it’s not an episode, this is written and conceived for prose format (transferred as-is to screen, this would be a disaster, not least for being way too long and getting ruined from compression), but it evokes much of the same feelings.
That simplicity, and this being an early fic, does show quite a bit, not just in the rather plain prose and occasionally awkward flow (and just enough typos to be noticeable), but in some of the character and cameo choices within, making sure to incorporate a few more canon nods then is honestly organic. An end gag involving Derpy registered as the only desperate moment that flat-out didn’t work, though (and not just for being connected to another fic, though that didn’t help). And a fic with this breezy a pace and relatively unbothered with non-dialogue outside of narration and recap can’t quite sustain 10K, even if it’s mostly just in the form of most scenes needing a little trimming: only a lengthy interlude in Pinkie’s day involving another character cameo felt specifically prolonged.
Still, the characterisation is strong and largely unpretentious, the comedy and pathos is mixed well enough, and it’s just all-around pleasant and fun. Undeniably an early working-out-the-kinks fic, but even though Lets Do This often trafficks in simple, intimate stories that are just fun for being a good time with the characters, I don’t know that they ever again allowed themselves to write something this untroubled, simple and direct in such goals. And I’ve read 28 of their fics, that’s enough of a sample size to make that claim. I don’t mind saying I enjoyed this more than a sizable chunk of their later work.
Rating: Pretty Good
When Ponies Fly by Lets Do This
Genre: Comedy/Drama (Alt. Universe)
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie
6,257 Words
March 2022
Earth Ponies are largely content to keep to themselves, doing the same things they’ve always done. Not Twilight Sparkle, an inventor who might charitably be described by some in town as a little “out there”. Even Applejack, her one true friend, and firmly impressed by her and the useful ideas she’s brought to bear, doesn’t know what to make of her at times. One day, while testing out her latest invention, a mishap carries her beyond Ponyville, to a place not even spoken of in the history books, yet which she felt was always there. A place with ponies different from those of the earth variety.
This is, at the time of writing, the highest-rated G5 fic on this site, and the only one in the top 500 (the next highest barely cracks the top 1000). Course, it’s barely a G5 fic at all, even if it sprung from both the leaked concept art back in 2017 and more recent art officially shared by Lea Dabssi (i.e. Imalou) from the film’s very early days when it did reimagine the Mane 6. Regardless, though, this is a fic that has pleased a lot of people (even if Top Rated is no guarantee of quality, with the G5 Top Rated charts a mix of pleasing fics sharing space with rote, trite and unimaginative ones successful in traffic largely for getting to their ideas first). Does it live up to that?
Honestly, yeah, it does. Not the same thing as saying this is the best G5 fic I’ve read (again, if it even is one), but that’s immaterial. Somehow, this is freed not just from the baggage associated with actual G5 fics when they grapple with the rickety worldbuilding and lore basis from canon, but from the constant mental comparison to canon usually associated with Alternate Universe fics. Perhaps it’s just transforming Twilight into an inventor earth pony, but there’s a remarkable freshness from the word go, right as Applejack’s describing Twilight’s deal to both another character and the audience (I tell you, right there and then, I was visualising her words intercut as narration accompanying Twilight’s exploits, and it felt like I was right there in the cinema). Taking the early notion of swapping half the Mane 6’s races and seeing how that and the notion of self-contained worlds (in the literal sense, as it were) for the pony tribes affects their personalities, well, that’s part of the fun. Of the three featured leads here, Twilight is the most remarkably different, being a different race, and it’s a delightful riff on her early geekiness from FiM, given a different feeling with her being unable to cast magic herself. Rainbow Dash and Applejack aren’t too different, mostly a little more mature than their canon counterparts (though Lets Do This still fumbles on Applejack’s accent, four years and 70+ stories later).
The sense of exploration, of wanting to see a wider world beyond, is really strong, doing a great job of sweeping us right along with Twilight as she breaches into the pegasus world (and the notion of how one crosses between these worlds, something that sounded terrible in the leaks, somehow works here). Maybe it’s just the atmosphere, the adventuresome tone, or how well this nails the simple charms of early G4 – characters mixed with a great world out there beyond the story’s boundaries – but the usual flaws with Lets Do This’ writing style barely felt present.
Honestly, I have almost no complaints, unless that, this feeling like a short film demo rather than the feature this deserves, thus demands us to want so much more. It’s amazing how much I wasn’t for the early G5 film concepts (granted, mostly for being the lazy brainchild of executives and the timing so close to G4 – a few generations later, and born from a sincere desire, it’d have been properly intriguing), yet this proved so captivating. Power of fanfiction, I suppose. Even if I suspect there was a little lightning in a bottle going on here, the longer novelette followup The Two Unicorns is certainly most intriguing.
Rating: Really Good
The Two Unicorns by Lets Do This
Genre: Comedy/Drama (Alt. Universe)
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike, Fluttershy
17,672 Words
April 2022Sequel to When Ponies Fly
Now they're firm friends and exploration buddies, earth pony inventor Twilight Sparkle and pegasus speedster Rainbow Dash have set about exploring more of these strange worlds beyond either of their own. Their next destination, a place of forest and magic, seems right as rain at first, if a bit foreboding. Yet soon, they meet others, and discover this is a place of horned ponies, unicorns, who can cast actual magic. Pity that not all is quite right, and they've arrived right as things with the local governing body are taking a turn for the worse…
While this lacks the freshness of the original story, it starts out on very nearly as strong a foot, launching right into Twilight and Rainbow breaching the unicorn bubble. Being both a longer fic, a multi-chapter one, and containing an actual story rather than just a scenario, this plays out as quite a different sequel, which is definitely a wise idea. Thus, there are several main thrusts at play here.
The main one, certainly, is the reinterpretations of Rarity, Fluttershy and Spike. Of the three Mane 6 members who kept their original race in the shakeup, Rarity probably has the most changes. Not that her personality is necessarily different, but the circumstances of the unicorn locale, her position, backstory and circumstances of the plot and slightly-more-mythological depictions of unicorns gives her a marginally edgier vibe, while still being recognisably her. It's more than Rainbow Dash and Applejack, anyway, but given how firmly their personalities are tied to their pony race, that's fair. Spike's origination is all tangled up in spoilers, but he's another case of being largely the same except for backstory alterations. He's helped by how well-utilised he is by the story, and how respected he is, possibly my favourite individual element – I was delighted that my surprise at his involvement quickly gave way to consistent satisfaction. Fluttershy was always a dicey fit as a unicorn, and given that, this does an admirable job, even if there are aspects of her and those around her that are rather loosely sketched-in and tossed off, at least under story constraints.
As for the rest? It does unravel gradually as it progresses. The story's fast, clipped pace starts to drain the tension and urgency when held for this length, and the broader scope and cast of characters, and natural time given to fleshing out the newcomers, leaves Rainbow Dash and especially Twilight rather less satisfying and involving then they were before (yes, future instalments will probably solve this, but one's leads shouldn't feel neutered this soon into a series). The pacing is at once too fast and too slow, with story beats being compressed, while individual moments, due to the plain and stripped-back prose style Lets Do This customarily employs, build up to an overflow in many scenes. Their writing style and pacing issues do detract from this one again after being largely absent last time. Still, this was only a mild irritation. By and large, if one can roll with that compression, there's little to complain about.
Then the last chapter comes along, and bring with it some actual problematic choices, not least being some generational nods and homages that are horribly out of place and call the worst attention to themselves, alongside laying on the G4 callbacks and aspects a bit thick (if there was ever a prime opportunity to drop Spike's crush on Rarity, this was it, and yet…). And while the prior story ended in a way that perfectly encapsulated the great wide world feel and simple charm of early G4, and had you begging for more, this story's ending note feels far less imaginative and constrains the future world possibilities. It does make you want more, but in a more muted manner.
Still, even given that, and it holding together not nearly as well, it's a largely satisfying continuation of this timeline. Given Pinkie's yet to do more beyond a cameo, and Applejack has been a peripheral player thus far, I don't doubt more will be on the horizon soon*. That, and Let Do This managed to ride their Not Exactly Friends series out for nearly 20 interconnected one-shots, novelettes and novellas. Some considerations about pace, compression, space in worldbuilding, and the broader picture should be taken into account going forward (also, narrative momentum would for sure be better sustained with one longer fic, rather than individual shorter entries drip-fed to us), but the next entry, whenever it arrives, remains one to keep an eye on.
Rating: Pretty Good
* 
Well… the third entry in this series went live out of nowhere a mere 44 hours before this blog, after I’d already polished it for final post. Not that I would have incorporated it here, both for overloading it with three fics from one series and for my soft policy of not reviewing fics until they’re a month old. But it does somewhat date this post! Thankfully, not to the point of rendering the above review any less useful.
Still, the piece, Pinkie Pegasus, a Pinkie-Rainbow comedy that looks (?) to be less story-and-lore heavy, seems more than promising enough, so if you liked the above two, it earns my blind endorsement too. I don’t doubt I’ll read it soon enough myself, certainly. And compared to their prior AU series, Lets Do This seems to be taking their time with this one, quite an encouraging sign.
Discord Breaks The Map by Lets Do This
Genre: Adventure/Comedy
Twilight, Discord, Fluttershy
9,045 Words
April 2019Reread
Off the back of the Tree of Harmony’s restoration following its apparent defeat, Twilight has even more reason to be overjoyed – the Map is in working order too, and has a map mission for her! Of course, she didn’t take into account who she might be going with on this mission. Nor that it might be someone she doesn’t always have the best association with…
Full disclaimer: the concept of “Twilight and Discord go on a map mission that finally forces the two to reconcile their differences, serving as an antidote to the stubborn wall the show’s served on that front” was one of my earliest wishlist fics ideas; my notion even had Fluttershy along as a mediator, much like this. Of course, that was when I was gung-ho that Seasons 8/9 would turn around, and I was trying to get as much enjoyment out of the current FiM content even though I knew deep down it was rubbish. So I embraced that era rather than redirecting my time and efforts elsewhere, a fool’s hope I later came around on. In any case, that fic never developed beyond the core concept and a few plot strands, but I retained something of an intrigue for the notion. Of course, since then, I’ve seen other fics that have Twilight and Discord make amends, not least alarajorgers’ fantastic What About Twilight?, possibly the best fixfic the fandom has ever produced, and while this isn’t that, it’s honestly better than I’d anticipated, returning to it a few years later.
Naturally, the bulk of the fic consists of Twilight and Discord riffing off each other, the former primarily frustrated, the latter easygoing. Having Fluttershy along for the ride, for amusing reasons I shan’t spoil, certainly helps prevent this formula from getting stale, but it’s not the only reason. This idea could easily tire over 9K, especially with Lets Do This’ customary briskly-paced, detail-light writing style. But that pace serves this well, as the fic lurches from speedy searches for the problem, to some time out for the characters to gather their heads, to Twilight confronting that she and Discord may be the problem, to a more nuanced and sedate climax with some lore that frankly doesn’t make much sense when examined, but is convincing enough in the moment. That it doesn’t go for an overly-cheery resolution where everything is resolved, but acknowledges there’s more gradual work to be done, helps to sell the resolution too.
There’s no getting around it’s still a rather slight thing, but between fun and well-integrated comic pieces along the way, and managing to keep both the plot and gags reasonably surprising (let’s be honest, that’s rare for Discord fics), this is an unusual take on Discord, if not necessarily his relationship with Twilight. A lot of it feels quite episode-like, and mostly in a good way. It certainly would have been better than most of Season 9, at least!
Well, except for a mid-fic reference to another story via a linked asterisk. That’s just indulgent and awful and another slip of the author’s filter.
Rating: Pretty Good
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 3
Decent: 1
Passable: 0
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
I don't remember which Let's Do This story I read first, but it immediately convinced me to download several more. I really enjoyed When Ponies Fly and The Two Unicorns, even though I'm not big on AUs. (Important aside here: both of these stories make use of wonderful cover art.) What really makes these work is good characterization and lack of "conflict poisoning."
Most writers here have favorites among the Mane 6 of course,* but also common is for a writer to have a strong dislike of one of the core cast. One of the best things about Let's Do This's work is the evident fondness for them all. It's nice not to have to worry about stumbling over Asshole Rainbow Dash, Bitch Rarity, or Moronic Hillbilly Applejack in the middle of an otherwise enjoyable story.
I haven't read all of Let's Do This's stories, but I have put most of them that interested me on my kindle. When I need a bit of pony fic to fill some time, at the very least I can be sure of a nice read.
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* Guilty as charged.
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I'm sure we can agree that Imalou concept art used for the cover of When Ponies Fly was a major contributor to its success. To the point that I've seen other fics use it since, though of course they lose a lot of draw power from being late to the party. In any case, the third story continues to pull from that web of alt-Mane 6 early concept art for its cover.
That is very true, and something I perhaps didn't give full due in the post. There's a genuine sincerity and niceness to their works that feels earned, and whatever I may be turned off by some story concepts and choices, I fully see why they land for their target audience.
I'd like to think I too have a fondness for all the Mane 7, though it's too early to claim that for my writing, as I've yet to publish anything with appearances from Applejack, Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy at all. But certainly, Lets Do This' ability to see the goodness in them all makes them an author after my own heart. Again!
I don't think it's a widely recognized term, but by "conflict poisoning" I mean the pervasive idea that in order for a story to be dramatic or engaging there needs to be conflict, which leads many writers to make sure there is conflict in every single scene, no matter if it is inappropriate, uninteresting, irritating, insignificant, or all of the above.
Just watch almost any modern media thing, and you'll get many, many scenes of pointless bickering about petty nonsense. This is the victory of dogmatic writing rules over good storytelling. You'd think that even if one believes in the Absolute Necessity of Conflict, one might, perhaps, try to employ quality over quantity? Evidently not, judging by modern media.
Think I'm going to take a look at that first 'fic. It should come as no surprise that I'm a sucker for investigation, mystery, and detailed exploration of absolutely ridiculous magical premises.
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Agreed. It's one thing to give each of the Mane 6 some flaws, but more often than not it just devolves into outright caricature. Let's Do This largely avoids that pitfall, and we're trying to do the same in Extended Cut.
But yeah, it's also hard not to show some favoritism, Twilight and RD for the Admiral, and Fluttershy and Rarity for me.
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Another comment by Serketry, another Extended Cut mention…
In all seriousness, it's an admirable tendency, keeping them away from caricature in the method you describe, and me myself, I'm steadfast about it enough in my own writing that I'm far likelier to block on material that would leans most writers towards taking those shortcuts, until I find a way to write it without doing such a thing.
A moment of silence for EX Applejack, Pinkie and Spike.
Only having read your take on Stare Master, I knew the Twilight and Fluttershy parts, but not the other two. Knowing nothing about this universe's takes on Rainbow Dash, for I don't even remember her being in that fic (if she was, it was in an appearance so small it might as well not count – granted, I only remember one Rarity moment from the fic), it does lead one to wonder what endears her that heavily to the Admiral
Oh, was this speaking specifically about their EC counterparts, writing them in a general sense, or does it cover the characters as they exist in canon (when well-written, of course – most Twilight fans obviously prioritise her in early seasons over the bland mush from later)?
For me, Applejack and Spike are my personal favourites, though I find Rarity the most consistent written-and-entertaining in the show. I think Dash is probably bottom of my list, but still well above dislike in any capacity. For actually writing Ponyfic, Twilight Applejack and Spike are the highest, through stronger in different plot capacities, at least at this stage for me.
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All of the above, I guess, with the major caveat that I'm actually really, really looking forward to writing Godtier/ late series Twilight. There is nothing new under the sun, of course, but we plan on delving into Twilight's coming to terms with being an alicorn.
Also, didn't mean to leave out Spike. We wouldn't have put so much thought into characterizing him as Dr. Twilight Sparkle's adopted son if we didn't like him. AJ and Pinkie are fine, I just know my limits, and writing good Pinkie dialog is hard.
Argh, I really need to read When Ponies Fly. Pretty much everyone I know who's read it has really liked it, and across quite a wide range of tastes, too. Your review is another nudge towards Logan Actually Doing Something In Under Two Years.