Introspection, and relating to characters

Obviously relating to a character is an important thing for a lot of people when they consume media. I saw myself in Twilight when I was young, and tbags what got me I to this fandom. I didn't have friends, didn't know how to socialize, and spent most of my time with my nose in a book. She and the show as a whole is likely part of the reason I have friends now. I'm still learning friendship though, primarily communication and trust. I'll probably never learn everything

Seeing how she changed overtime helped me realize that I could change, and more importantly that I wanted to. I had a similar experience with a fanfic I read in maybe 2015. Seeing the main characters self destructive tendencies helped me to see my own self sabotaging behavour. Then again more recently when i saw a characters complex relationship with family and issues in relations to food. ((It almost always seems to be fallout Equestria characters, but that's probably cause that's all I really read lately; special interest go brrrrr.))

Now though I'm seeing aspects of myself in my own characters that we hadn't meant to out in there. How she constantly pushes down her past feelings and memories, and is always trying to keep herself busy or distracted to avoid overthinking or introspection. How she goes through this cycle of almost starting to work on herself, before finding another way to distract from what she needs to do for herself.

And seeing as how me and her are a lot alike, I'm worried rather then trying to confront, process and work through my own problems I'll find a convenient excuse to distract myself from, and then bury them again. But I want to try and work on myself. Try and be strong enough to fix myself. We'll see how it goes