Mar
13th
2022
Bluebird Update: I'm tired · 11:36pm Mar 13th, 2022
So, hello again, it's been well over a month since the last chapter of Bluebird, huh? I know someone asked about it in the comments section but the next chapter is on its way, as of writing it's been sent to the editor, who will take as much time as they need to look it over. Once they are happy with it, it'll be up.
To hold you over, I thought I'd make a few things clear to you all:
- For the record, I'm not military, nor have I ever claimed to be. I don't fault anyone for assuming otherwise, it does flatter me somewhat if people did, but with the exception of my granddads in WWII and one triple war veteran grand-uncle in the USA, my family doesn't have any military experience and it'd be insulting and immoral if I didn't set the record straight. Sorry if that admission disappointed some people.
- Pretty much my understanding of how military and military academies function come from research. Namely, my research is on experiences at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst in Berkshire, UK. One fault I have when writing chapters is that I sometimes focus too much on the research, going through documentaries and testimonies from graduates over and over to make stuff accurate. I also have to factor in that "military" in the context of the show is more akin to Greek/Roman/Medieval period armies with metal armour and spears for weapons.
- Not sure if or how often I point this out in a previous post, but this isn't the only writing I do. I'm a furry who does non-fiction writing, mostly with a focus on history. Without giving away too much, at the end of 2021 I was given a publishing opportunity for a history book I had been working on since 2019. Because this is a big deal, it had taken priority over the last couple of weeks.
- So the whole discussion over racism in the story... For the last month, I've been at two ends. On one side, no I don't agree that how racism is handled in this story is heavy-handed, I make a point that it's not something that's isolated and not always overt, but I haven't made it the focus of every chapter in the story. On the other side, I get where people are coming from when they feel Gallus' situation isn't improving or that his role is passive. Considering at the start of his time at the Academy he knew no one, and now he has friends and officials on his side, his situation has improved somewhat, but then there's him dealing with racist bullies, a hardass staff sergeant, rejected out of activities he enjoyed, difficulties adapting into a pony military lifestyle and regime, a suspicion that he's only there for political gains, and now potentially losing his longtime friends in Ponyville, yeah it might be time to resolve a few of these.
- Yes, I do intend on Gallus having agency and being more active. That being said, as much as I don't want to pad this story out (because I have no idea why or how people can write stories with a million words), I also don't want to rush it.
- After the more heated discussion settled, I did talk with Javarod about the direction I did intend the story to go, and after his feedback and the feedback from others in the comments, I've had second/third/fourth looks at that direction and I've made some changes that will fix some of the issues. How that will impact people's reception to the story, I'll just have to find out.
To conclude, sorry for the delays and for this ramble, I've been working on the next chapter with other things on my mind. Thank you to everyone who has followed my work up to this point, and given me feedback which I do read and keep in mind even if I don't reply.
Good, because it isn't--I have seen stories that are heavy-handed on this subject before and this ain't one of them, not even close. I suspect part of the reason why some readers (I won't name names) are taking issue with it though is mostly because such topics are already big big points of contention here in the real world, and they're just totally burnt out on it and not really want to face more of it, fictional or otherwise. Which I can respect, but that also probably means that this story just isn't going to be for them, because I can't see how it can tell it's story and not face those topics anyway. So I feel like what should really be happening is those readers pausing and asking themselves if this is a story they really want to keep reading or not, and if the latter, just quietly depart and leave it at that.
I know this might seem counterintuitive to the writer, seeing that chasing away potential readers is the last thing you'd want to do, but at the same time one needs to consider that no story is going to appeal to all readers, and you're always going to not be able to hold the interests of all of them. Instead of trying to pander and hold onto those not-really-interested readers, it's better to let them go and instead focus on the readers that are already enjoying the story, especially when its obvious that the interested readers well outnumber those that are not (as is the case here with "Bluebird").
That all said, I can also see the argument that it might be at risk of it coming across as all piled on too much at a time, and of course it's up to you, the writer, to determine what needs to happen. If you feel some tweaks would be beneficial for the story overall, then by all means.
I'd just want it clear, above all else, that the story is doing perfectly fine as is, and I'd hate to see it loose many of its core concepts that made it so just because a handful of people complained about it really loudly--I've seen other writers try and pander to such complainers before only to end up ruining what had otherwise been perfectly good story trying to do so and leaving everybody unhappy (heck, I even made that mistake once or twice though thankfully still managing to salvage it in the end). I don't think we're in real danger of that here, of course, but for the record, while it's good to consider all criticism that may be leveled at a story, it doesn't mean all of it must be followed because sometimes it's not actually what's right for the story.
You know the old adage of how "the customer is always right?" Know how that just about anyone who's worked customer service can tell you that's not actually true and that there are plenty of times were the customer is dead wrong? The same can apply to readers too.
Anyway, I'm probably just being overly cautious here--sounds to me you've already got a handle on all of this. But wanted to throw this into the ring regardless, if just as a show of support.
I love the story and ya wont lose my support!
MORE BIRBS!!!!
I never thought the racism was heavy handed, truth be told it felt realistic for the discrimination towards galus to be like it is. He is a creature outside their norm shaking up established and entrenched military culture and that's going to cause all kinds of blowback.
Also, props to a fellow writer that does tons of research! Glad to hear you've got a book deal opportunity I hope it goes well!
I think you're rather on the money with your plans. I don't think the Racism is too heavy handed, but it can be a little repetitive if Gallus doesn't gain a little more agency or... React... a little more in different dynamic ways. I think certain readers have interpreted the... Shall we say grind, of the prejudice Gallus experiences with it being labouring and repeating the point?
Which can make it feel heavy handed when it doesn't direct the plot (and so feels like it's only point to verify that Yes, still Racism).
However you're keen on pushing Gallus into some much needed reactivism (as opposed to his fairly passive reaction this far, leaves me optimistic that those readers will have their concerns addressed.
Also, congratulations on your book deal! That's a real achievement and something to be proud of.