Story Review #8 · 8:25pm Nov 10th, 2021
Story review #8: Obelus —by applejackofalltrades
Warning this story and the review talk about: Suicide and Suicidal thoughts
Character’s:
Sunset Shimmer: Sunset is actually really in character compared to a lot of fanfics I’ve read (mine included)
And her anxiety about something/insomnia all matched up to her in canon self pretty well. I also so think she would be the overprotective Gf to Wallflower if they were in a relationship.
Wallflower Blush: even though they never explicitly state she’s suicidal in canon it’s almost fact thanks to the fandom. And her personality in this was very well written for a suicidal character but still felt a little flatter then the other characters. But I’m willing to say that’s because she was only at the end.
Rainbow Dash: can’t say much about her except she was very much in character.
Applejack: I would say the same about her as Dash she is pretty much who she’s meant to be.
Premise: The thing about the premise is it has been done many a time by the Sunflower shippers: with the classic suicidal Wallflower and overprotective Sunset but the way applejackofalltrades does it in the story just works better then most of them. It felt real and it took me back to a time when I was in Wallflowers place.
Punctuation and Grammar: this is interesting and hard to talk about because I didn’t see hardly anything wrong with it but I did read the comments and saw how much had been called out. But apparently all those issues got fixed before I read it so I’ll say it was a 5/10 to make it fair.
Dialogue: felt mostly natural their was only one or 2 points at the end with Wallflower were I was like 
Flaws: I’d say the biggest flaw this story suffers from is that it is very predictable. And the reason I say this is I predicted pretty much everything which isn’t usually an issue it just made the journey a little more dull.
Strengths: The writing and Sunset’s POV are very good at painting a fun yet serious story. And despite it being a One-Shot the memories from Sunset POV made me more attached to the character’s and the overall struggle she’s having about Wallflower.
I will admit this was a hard review to write and a hard story to read as I myself have had Suicidal thoughts I’m the past. And this story brought back the memories of a much darker/unhappy time in my life that I regret very much. I do wanna say if you’re ever having Suicidal thoughts please consider contacting the Suicide prevention hotline.
The phone number for the US national Suicide prevention: 800-273-8255
As always I highly Recommend you check out the story yourself and form you’re own opinion.
Rating: 
9/10 Hearts.
Story link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/492361/obelus
Ohh thanks for this review! I love to hear what people think about it. I’m glad you enjoyed the story even though the premise was a bit basic, and I’m glad to see that the characters hold up :)
Once again thanks for the review!!! You’re very kind and I’m glad you’re still here
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You’re welcome and thanks
I forgot that I read this story.
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That probably shows that I read too many stories.
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Relatable
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Really? How many stories you read?
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I’ve read upwards a thousand since I joined the site a little while back.
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Wow. That’s crazy.