Story Review #28 · 3:10am March 21st
Story review: #28 The Sun and the Star
—by General Alduin
Characters:
Sunset Shimmer: I really like the way you highlight who Sunset is in this story it feels very organic. And I appreciate the amount of characterization we get for her in such a short run-time.
Starlight Glimmer: This alternate human version of Starlight is interesting….
…..because although she is very similar to the Starlight in the pony world/the canon she also isn’t.
I have very conflicting feelings towards this version of the character because I feel like she’s enjoyable in the story but I never really got to the point of the liking her as her own character, more context would really help but I get this was a competition with limited time so it’s not the writers fault.
Premise: Straightforward enough Human Starlight ditches a meet up with the human 7 not feeling worthy of redemption and Sunset doesn’t let that shit fly.
A cute & enjoyable shipping premise although it does feel like build up to more chapters or another story in this timeline.
Grammar and Punctuation: I really didn’t see any errors, Hats off the author!!!
Dialogue: Quite fast but not necessarily a bad thing but not necessarily a great thing either the dialogue just kinda there.
Flaws: feels as though this story needs a longer runtime to really be fleshed out & also it feels like we we’re dropped in the middle of an already established story/timeline which could confuse some people (I understood it)
Highlights: I personally love that we were dropped in the already established story/timeline so it’s both a pro and a con. I also love the awkward way it feels when they confess/realize the person they like likes them back it’s very real and the way Sunset spoils the mood with a joke is relatable. (I don’t wanna talk about it)
But as always those are just my 2 cents and I recommend you check out the story yourself and form your own opinion.
Rating: ✅✅✅✅✅ 5/10 Checkmarks
Story link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/526390/the-sun-and-the-star
Author link: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/356275/General+Alduin
