Story Review #27

Story review #27 The Dragon Sisters —by Mechazilla88 & Co-Writer Phantom-Dragon
(Requested by Mechazilla88)

Characters:
Disclaimer: I’m only gonna be covering the most important/present characters in this fic since it has a lot of characters

Spike: I like him but I’m really gonna need him to show me more in future chapter because I don’t feel I have a ton to go off of. But his characterization and sympathy make me interested in what could happen next for him as a protagonist.

The Dragon Sisters: Again I’m interested but I don’t know how to feel about them yet but I think that’s the point they are supposed to be mysterious and they are doing that well!

The Mane 7/Human 7: No problem here they seem in character.

Uncle Scorpan: Can he be my uncle he’s dope so far.

Zephyr Breeze: Funniest part of the story so far loved watching him be a stumbling idiot, and him running into that pole was legitimately my favorite paragraph of the story so far

Spike’s friends: Great dynamic, Fun interactions, & organic vibes. But special shout-out to Rumble he’s always great but he’s already one of my favorites in this story only 2 chapters in.

Premise: A group of dragons comes through the equestrian portal still as dragons hunting for something or someone that they feel belongs to or with them as the Human 7 investigate & Spike Sci-Twi’s younger brother goes on summer break with friends unaware he’s about to get involved in this crazy adventure.

I like the concept & the mystery so far it’s quite interesting & I’m enjoying guessing what’s going to come next. Though I do wish Spike was more connected to the dragon plot but hopefully the storyline’s merge soon.

Grammar & Punctuation: Not awful but I have seen a few errors throughout, making it not bad but not good either.

Dialogue: Feels really rushed they only organic dialogue so far has been some of Spike’s friends chatting about games, movies, or girls beyond that the dialogue feels quite forced and inserted to push the plot forward.

Future expectations: I’m really hoping for a major twist and a slow down in pacing because that’s what’s killing the vibe so far overall I want the writers to not feel rushed & take the time to carefully craft a great story.

Flaws: A bit of a mess I’m enjoying it but it definitely has some issues with pacing, dialogue, and storytelling It’s a fun read nonetheless but I hope for some improvement in the future chapters.

Highlights: I’m interested in the story, & I love the way they are building the mystery, and my favorite part is the character descriptions they are so detail and make it so easy for me to imagine these characters even the OC’s I’ve never seen.

But as always those are just my 2 cents and I recommend you check out the story yourself and form your own opinion.

Rating: 🐉🐉🐉🐉 4/10 Mystical Dragons

Story link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/516105/the-dragon-sisters

Author links:
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/255052/Mechazilla88
&
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/234842/Phantom-Dragon