I might need some help. · 4:17am Aug 15th, 2021
CW: Naughty Swear Words
So remember that time a few weeks back when I mentioned in the comments that I wanted to go back to a once-a-week update schedule.
Yeah, I remember that.
Ever feel like you're being strangled by the crushing weight of your own inadequacies?
So here's the scenario. In June I had a goal. I was gonna push hard, finish Rekindled Embers (the rough draft, at least) before the end of July. In the month of June I averaged about 3000 words a day. It wasn't enough, I didn't get to the end.
Well, that's okay, I thought. I'll finish up in July.
I barely wrote a word in July. Here we are, halfway into August, and I've barely written anything in August. Maybe 3 or 4 thousand words? I've basically put all my side projects on hold, as well.
Burnout is a thing, but it's more than that. I realized, today, that I'm scared. Terrified, really.
See, I've never been great at ending stories. And with every word, every chapter, bringing me closer and closer to the climax, my own insecurities are starting to take over. What if I'm not good enough? What if I can't do this story justice? What if I end up just disappointing everyone? What happens if I write the end, and it's utter shit because I can't fucking end stories?
So obviously this is a shit way of thinking about things, and I can push through. But I can do better than that.
Queue the magic of friendship, I hope.
Obviously I have an incredible editor. Cyonix is a miracle worker, somehow able to translate my incoherent mess into a cohesive narrative that's actually interesting to read sometimes. But RE is huge, and it's only getting huger. I need anybody who is willing to be a pre-reader or an assistant editor to Cyonix. The more eyes I have on this project, the better it can be. And the better it is, the better I can feel about it and maybe I can not be such a fucking coward about actually writing the ending.
If you'd like to be a pre-reader, be warned. I've had some issues keeping pre-readers for longer than a chapter or two, so I need people who are willing to stick with things. You would have Gdoc access to all the rough draft chapters yet to be published (at time of blog, about ten or so). I'm not expecting detailed editing, just general plotting/characterization/flow sorts of things.
Also the chapters are kinda shit before Cyonix works his magic, so there's that. Sorry.
If you can't help pre-read, that's perfectly fine, just keep reading and commenting. All of your comments really help keep me going. They're why I keep writing. Thank you so much, you're all wonderful people.
If anyone wants to help, you can message me on FimFiction or find me on Discord ( applezombi#1329 ). Thanks again.
I'm afraid I can't help as I haven't had the chance to read Rekindled Embers yet, but as someone who's been struggling finishing my own large-scale project, I feel you. You got this zombi, you've gotten this far and you can get to the end. I wish you the best of luck with your story and I look forward to reading it.
I believe you can do it :)
We believe in you. You can do it.
Only occasionally. Like, every hour of every day.
Once I accept all those things as true, I can get on with enjoying writing, because so what? They might be true, they might not. That's not important to me. I just need to have fun. If someone else comes along for the ride and also enjoys, wild.
Oh. Well I can't commit to anything right now. I'll take a gander later.
You do have an amazing editor! No matter what ending you chose to write I'm not worried that you can pull it off, because everything so far is proof of that, you've clearly shown you make a great team and that hasn't changed at all.
And it's okay to ignore your doubts because even if you make a mistake it can't be a very big one, you'd just learn from it and make the next story even better. No one should expect perfection all the time, and that's okay.
So all in all I think you have every right to feel pretty serene about the run in to the finish ^_^
Besides, I can only speak for myself, and I only have trite things to say (sorry!), but as far as I'm concerned it's the journey not the destination; When someone bakes a super complex half a million words of multi-layered cake goodness, you can finish it off with whatever frosting and toppings you want! The core of it is already super good, anything you add is just cherries on top.
Even if the end is just okay, it can't detract from everything else being already good. Try as you might, it's too late to ruin it!
And if I weren't thoroughly unqualified I'd love to help with pre-reading, unfortunately I am beyond useless and it's a miracle they still let me touch the lettery parts of the keyboard
As a dude with lots of anxiety I understand what you mean as I often worry about not being good enough in drawing and writing, but I'll tell ya what I do to overcome it. I talk to my friends and family, focus on what I've done right and then remember all the people who have gave me advice and compliments on my work which gives me the determination to continue and finish what I'm doing. And don't worry about being scared it happens to the best of us. Sorry if I'm coming off as preachy, it's not intentional. I'm too much of a novice to help with editing but I know you've got this zombi! I wish you the best of luck in Rekindled Embers and all the stories that you make after it and if you ever need cheering up I know me and the others who read your stories will more than happily comply! Have a lovely day!(or night depending on timezones).
If you need a copy-editor, I can definitely help with that. As far as story flow and consistancy (pre-reader type stuff), I'm so far behind on reading this one that I wouldn't be much help. I have copy experience with multiple EQD stories and my own EQD story.
My schedule is messy, so I don't know how much time I would be able to dedicate to this, but I would do my best. PM me if you're interested and I'll see what I can do.
I've been following the story for quite a while, and I absolutely understand being a little burnt out and quite anxious for this mammoth of a narrative to come to a close. The work you and your editor/s have been formulating has been fantastic to experience, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed creating it as much (hopefully even moreso) as I have enjoyed reading!
I wish I could offer more in the ranks of useful advice or soothing encouragement, but I will try my best! x3
What you've created is something incredible, a world that feels so real that you've had me tearing up, barely containing bubbling giggles, and pacing around the room reading. And thought it may be coming to an end, that just means you'll get to look back on everything that you have learned thought the process, and all the people you have met, readers or helpers! (And you even managed to keep it on a bi-weekly schedule which blows my freaking mind)
And finally, I would love to offer some assistance as a pre-reader. My schedule is quite open, and I would be fully able to allocate time to really focus on combing through as an extra set of eyes, especially if it would help ease the workload of everyone involved. ^^