Story Reviews #3 · 11:52pm Jul 26th, 2021
Story review #3: Turmoil Rising —By JFT
Character’s:
Twilight & Spike: we’re perfectly in character and instantly lovable and most importantly the matched their show counterparts well.
Other main 6: also very in character & like their cannon selves…… and theirs not much else to say about them.
Zecora: she’s wise, well written and she RHYMES!!!!
I can’t stress how happy this makes me. I’ve been let down by so many writers who are to lazy to even attempt rhyming that they make Zecora talk normally or replace her with a different character later in the story so they don’t have to keep doing her rhymes.
Chrysalis: she is less crazy then she was in the show and normally I’d be upset but I just can’t be upset at this version of her or the excellent manor in which you use her character.
(I’m not gonna bring up the other characters because I don’t wanna spoil anything for anyone who hasn’t yet read this phenomenal fic)
Premise: I can’t stop giving this story the praise it deserves I love the way JFT crafted the story and wrote it. The first 3 chapters I was unsure if the premise was gonna be good but chapter 5 convinced me and the mystery of who the darkness was had me guessing for awhile.
Grammar and Punctuation: the story’s weakest point is that some of the misspelling’s and misuse of certain punctuation and it makes me sad to see that in such a well crafted story. And though these errors are not frequent they still pull you out of the atmosphere if you notice them.
Dialogue: the dialogue flows well and is one of my favorites parts of the whole story.
Flaws: as stated above the misspelling of some of the words bugged me more then anything else in the story and was the biggest flaw the story faced.
Strength’s: the way the plot picks up and then slows down and then picks up again reminds me of watching an action or mystery movie or show.
An amazing story that is mostly amazing and that I highly recommend reading but don’t let my praise overhype you either it’s all a matter of taste’s.
Story link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/490195/turmoil-rising
Thanks for the review. =)
Yeah, the grammar is the weakest part since English is not my 1st language and as such I'm having a hard time with the grammatical rules of another language. I'm trying to get the pre-readers to help me iron out the bugs, but it's difficult to acquire them.
5560528
Understandable.
Wow, you read all of that?
5560864
Yep!
5560894
Yikes!
5560916
Would you believe it if I told you it's not even halfway done? XD
5560976
No way.
5560976
…….
Okay, went through the revision process. I think by now the grammar issues should be ironed out.
5570078
Cool!