The Worst Possible Thing (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 27) · 4:54pm May 15th, 2021
Previously, on Empress Theresa:
Theresa finally became a dictator, fulfilling this series' longest running joke! And also lost her legs. That too.
And now:
Two hundred and four white spheres hovered miles over Eastern Massachusetts. A little less than a yard wide each and swirling around several yards from each other, they weren’t visible from the ground.
Oh no.
The spheres drifted down to half a mile as they headed towards the Boston downtown area.
No.
President Stinson called me. “Theresa. Are you watching what’s happening in Boston?“
“No. What is it?”
“Hundreds of white spheres are moving toward the city.”
“Oh crap!”
No. Please. Don't tell me—
I said, “If those are HALs we’re in big trouble.”
There's MORE OF THEM.
So this is a problem. A big problem. And it gets even worse as the new HALs start merging with spectators. Two-hundred and four of them, total.
One Theresa was bad enough. Now there's over two hundred? It's the end of the world again. Start the doomsday countdown, folks.
Now, you may ask yourself: Where did all these HALs come from? Well, Steve's here to give you the rundown. Take it away, Steve.
“It was probably from Theresa’s HAL. When she was nuked it must have been a trigger for HAL to divide himself. One of them stayed with Theresa and the others wandered off to find somebody else to infect.”
“But that was nearly two years ago.”
“What’s two years to something that’s been around billions?
It's two years, Steve. It's still two years.
And you may ask yourself: Why Boston?
It’s where HAL first merged with Theresa and maybe HAL has been here a million years. They’ve been wandering around the world looking for Boston. They probably recognized the Massachusetts coastline and came down. The original HAL learned that Theresa spent time in buildings. These HALs came to the biggest buildings they could find looking for Theresa. Unfortunately there were a lot of people there.”
Water flowing underground. You're telling me HAL, a being that can move across the world seemingly instantaneously and allow its host to remote-view all the way to the Sun took two whole years to find Boston? I call BS, Steve.
He was talking to PM Blair, by the way, who then promptly decides to come to New York.
Anyway, this means that two-hundred and four people in Boston now have super strength. Two-hundred and four people can now throw a baseball with precision at fifty meters. Two-hundred and fifty people now have the potential to reshape entire continents, though they'd have to figure out how to train their HALs first.
In short, Boston's fucked.
And not all of them are identifying themselves, either.
Time flies by. The PotUS and PM Blair arrive at Theresa's house. They have a little powwow.
Blair asked, “Are we in trouble?”
Steve answered, “We’re in big trouble. It’s only months before these people get control of their HALs. You and I know what ordinary people will do when they get unlimited power. They’ll go nuts with it. They’ll try to grab this and that and anybody who stops them will be eliminated.”
“That is pessimistic,” said the President.
“But realistic. You know what people are like.”
I like the insinuation that Theresa is not a filthy 'ordinary person'.
Theresa's only plan to deal with this is to put HAL users into deep sleep. Unfortunately, only one-hundred and twenty-two of these new HAL users have been identified. Luckily, one of them is down to be experimented on: a retired army sergeant named George Catlin.
The idea is thus: Theresa will try putting him into deep sleep. If she is successful, and his HAL doesn't divide (how would they know? There was no sign of it the first time it happened), then they'll try it for every HAL user and keep them in suspended animation until Theresa can come up with a more permanent solution. Which, as is pointed out, could take years.
They try it. It doesn't work. Catlin's HAL is repelling Theresa's. Theresa cries and wheels herself back to her room.
Steve asks they be left alone for a week so Theresa can think. They have a mysterious last-ditch plan, but they don't want to use it. But they have no choice, and so:
When you have the money you can buy properties in remote places under fake names. We’d already done so for the day when we just wanted to get away from it all without having the curious watching us. Now we’d use these places.
We disappeared. Nobody knew where we were.
...Eh?
A tanker from Theresa’s Island was crossing the Indian Ocean some nine hundred miles east of South Africa. Its radio went silent. All attempts to hail the tanker resulted in silence.
Eh?
“Everybody is going unconscious!” he exclaimed. “It’s like a giant nerve gas attack. It’s coming close to me. I’ll keep talking as long as I can. It’s close. I can see people falling down. They don’t seem to know it’s coming….” After that his cell phone went silent.
Eh!?
President Stinson and twelve members of her staff were quiet for a moment. The Secretary of State was first to speak the obvious.
“Theresa is putting the world into deep sleep.”
Ehhhhhh!?
To be concluded next time, folks. See you then.
Fucking WHAT
This story, dude c.c
Clearly, you have not been paying attention. :V
literally what is any of this
5519487
It's okay. Soon, it'll be over, and then it'll live on only in our hearts. Like a parasite. A really nasty, self-important parasite.
5519497
You mean there's an end??? :O
I just assumed the torture was eternal.
5519537
There is!
And even better, it's tomorrow's chapter!
5519546
the end is nigh! :D