A little more serious than most of my blogs (nothing insane) · 1:59pm May 3rd, 2021
Eyyy.
You know, it may seem so easy and I know how close I am. But the truth of the matter is simple. I've lost that hot fire of motivation. I would be a fool if I said, "I don't know where it went," because I do. I want to finish No Hugs, but I am so sick of fighting this battle of attrition with procrastination and relapsing back into procrastinating ways. One week or two I'm super productive, then it's back to one or several months of the same routine.
I wish to not ring any alarms in anyone's head about my living situation or survivability. Where I am at today is very great. I found a much better job than my previous one while the pandemic is going on, thank God. Sure I live with my mom, but she's better than any roommate I've had; I just need to be sure I clean up my messes as most mothers would wish out of her children.
I'm just fed up with myself procrastinating. Today, I am calling a recommended councilor along with various other things I want to do, including writing No Hugs. I just need to really force myself to do some of these things today. It may seem easy to make a simple phone call to help one's mental well being. But if anyone knows how the nightmare procrastination works is it tells you, "You can do it in five minutes. Just after this video."
Before you know it, it's 8pm.
It is not easy.
This is not a cry in an attempt to get sympathy or pity. In an audiobook I've listened to called "Finish" by Jon Acuff (I did finish listening to it and is a great insight about perfectionism) and it explains telling people your progress in whatever you are trying to accomplish works two ways: one is to show you are seeking out improvement or trying to finish something, and the second is to have said person or people to help you steer back on course should you waver in your path.
Perhaps that's why I've made so many blogs regarding my progress with No Hugs. I want to show that I still care about the story and see those following it to steer me back.
I'm just tired of wading through the water. I want to run on it like I used to.
I feel you on that. It’s so easy not to
5511672 It sucks doesn’t it. To be honest, there are some readers, like yourself, I feel like I let down with all the long delays. I want those who read my stuff not to be let down by yet another unfinished story.
And I know the same old “get what you need to get done done,” will get headed my way when I say it. Part of me does feel some obligation to finish it for the readers, but a lot of it is simply so I can say, “I did it. I finished it.”
5511702
I know what you mean but it would be hypocritical of me to anything more than bummed. I’ve left several unfinished.
This is suppose to be fun. If it isn’t it’s a chore. If you can write, great. If not, I for one understand.
5511720 Yeah, you are right.
And what I do find fun is getting into character for every character I write and feel for what they feel. I love listening to some classical Fredric Chopin piano solos and getting chocked up as I voice the words of a character's confession. Writing isn't unfun. It's getting to do it is what's hard.
That's something I wouldn't wish on any creative person. It's never a fun time when the roaring motivational fires turn into embers for the time being.
I'm glad to hear your living situation and occupation have improved.
I do enjoy seeing these blogs from time to time. You are correct in that it does show your audience that you do care about the story. I do hope that you find your motivation again.
5512378 Funny for every time I have days off and procrastinate, I find myself inching toward solving the problem. I just want to move a bit quicker.