A Possible Rewrite (Situation Update) · 5:36am Aug 26th, 2020
Alright... how to go about this. Well, first things first, I'm starting to get back into my groove(Emphasis: starting), mostly because I'm getting used to the bi-weekly quizzes that some of my subjects employed instead of having finals. Still not there though, but I did have the luxury to go back to re-reading the stories which I had written.
Thing is, I have mixed feelings about them. Sunset in Azeroth is fine in my eyes, except for the rather glaring grammatical and vocabulary mistakes which I should get to fixing once I am properly back into writing.
Sunset Shimmer: Kunoichi, on the other hand... is a little bit of a hot mess, and quite frankly, once I had skimmed around on fanfiction.net, appears to be a little bit of a rip-off to some of them, which didn't really sit well with me, as I don't really like the fact that my story had so many similarities with the others to the point that it just didn't feel as unique, ass mine, if you catch my drift.
So I am actually considering a rewrite for the story itself. I know that it may be a little unfair to readers, but before I do anything, I would like to ask the readers opinions on this. If you have any opinions, feel free to share them!
Honestly, as long as you are making champters anything is good for me. I really like the way this was going, but if you think you can write something better. I would love to see it.
I agree with the rewrite
Well... just how much are you planning to change in the ReWrite?. I never had any real issues with this story, and enjoyed the delicate tightrope Sunset was balancing in, between her misplaced loyalty to Orochimaru and the friendships she had begun building, despite herself, with the other Genin in Konoha. I was looking forward to everything coming crashing down during the Chuunin exam and what would state she would be afterward.
That said, if you feel it's for the best to engage in such a re-write then I don't think it's my place to tell you that you're wrong. I haven't really read much Naruto fanfiction before so I don't know those stories you're referring to and can't really tell if you're correct in your assessment.
So I really like this story, that said with the plot still being so close to the beginning of the show I'm not sure what direction the story was going long term anyways. That said with the plot still being so young the only thing I find myself really attached to is your characterization of Sunset. I was beyond interested in seeing how this version of Sunset would evolve and adapt (for good or bad) to the setting and circumstances you dropped her into. So yes I like the story the way it is. But I would also like to see it be completed. If you really feel the need to rewrite the plot then better to do it now when the plot is still close to the beginning, as opposed to in 5 month when you hit writers block. As long as Sunsets personality and motivations are not drastically changed, I see no problem with a rewrite.
hmm... I've read a few Naruto stories over on fanfiction.net but I'm not sure what similarities you're referring to. In terms of a story following an OC (Sunset in this case) infiltrating the village on behalf of Orochimaru wasn't a story I've really seen before but there are thousands of Naruto fan-fics so I'm sure one exists I just haven't seen it.
I've enjoyed the story so far but ultimately you should go with what you feel more comfortable with doing.
First, I've seen a lot of artistic endeavors killed off by the idea that everything has to be completely "original" and unique. Someone else doing something doesn't stop you from doing it better, and most works are far less original and unique than most people realize. IMO, you shouldn't give up just because of that. If you have a genuine new idea that you'd rather work with and inspires you, that's great and is not the ill thing I've described so far, so if that's the case, go with it. I had to say it though just incase, because I've seen lots of fun things die from the obsession with being original and unique. With that out of the way...
Second, IIRC, the story is just about at the point where you could pull the curtain on Sunsets lies and drop most, if not all, of the spy stuff. So, I have to point out that you may not need to rewrite much of anything, but just start writing in the new direction starting from where it's already at. I would save as much as you can of what's already down, if only for the sake of convenience. I mean, if you start from scratch, you probably will be making more work for yourself than needed and may tire out from it before you reach your new goal.
Of course, without anyone but you knowing what you're thinking of doing, none of us can tell you what you should do, only point out options or state yea or nay to the proposal. I will be around to see what you come up with, so don't worry about losing this reader over it. I was quite enjoying what you penned so far, but perhaps that means you have what it takes to make a new story just as enjoyable?
Honestly, if you want the perspective of someone with little to no knowledge of early anime Naruto, and has not read your story.... Do the rewrite.
If only for your own peace of mind.
I have really enjoyed your story. The characterisation of Sunset in this story is really interesting. I personally would like to see where this Sunset would be going. And I agree that you don't have to be completely original, but if you don't feel satisfied with your story so far, you can do the rewrite. I just hope that we still get to know this Sunset more.
As an artist/writer, you will probably not be happy with all of your work. While that can be bad, I say it is good. Go ahead and see if you can rework what you want. All we get in the end is to see an amazing adventure and creativeness.
Hope school is going well!
Personally I'm a bit on a 50/50 split between what you currently have vs what a rewrite might give.
This version of Sunset is what is giving the early story of Naruto its unique flavor where her own personality is having a war between staying loyal to Orochimaru vs giving up the spy life and just be happy for once with friends.
but on the other hand a rewrite might not be a bad idea an example I would like to give is a RWBY fanfic that I'm currently reading is also going under a bit of its own rewrite while at the same time giving new chapters (the rewrite is mostly adding more details and giving more character developments).
So yeah that's why I'm split on this idea however ultimately this is your decision to make and I look forward to whatever choice you make
While I would say go for it as I've done it before with chapter after chapter in my stories, dont scrap the entire story. If you want to write another one go for it, but if you ever feel like continuing it, it would be a pain to rewrite the whole thing. I'd just make a new story and keep the old one. Granted I dont know if that was your plan from the start. Just do what you feel is right. I look forward to seeing whatever you decide on. Glad to have you back.
Like 5343134 said, if you want to do the rewrite, you can do another story, keeping this one to posterity. I was enjoying it, it was fun, but in Diend is your story.
It doesn't matter if you have Shakespeare level writing. If you don't think you can write the current story properly, then it's not gonna turn out well. It's better to start over and possible disappoint some readers, so you can make a story your confident you can do properly. Then continue something you're having doubts you can properly do, and not only disappoint some readers, but also having to deal with writing a story you're not happy with.
I like the current story, but I personally would rather read something the author is confident in continuing, then one they're not.
As annoying as it can often be to an audience, I think Patric Rothfuss has the right of it when talks about a writer not owing their readers a story. So, if you don’t want to write something, don’t. If you want to write something else, do that.
to be honest the main thing I really like from your story was the character dynamic between naruto sasuke and sunset, so I hope you would keep that but other than that the rewrite sounds great to me.
I know how it feels when you firce yourself to do something you don't like and it's not pleasant, trust me. So if you're dissatisfied with your fic but want to start up from scratch I say go for it
If you do rewrite it, I'd say keep the dynamic between Sunset, Naruto, and Sasuke the same as that was really good. Maybe have her found be Jaraiya or Tsunade instead Orochimaru. It would be entertaining to see her trying to deal with those two.
I wouldn't mind a rewrite, I mean, the story is good right now, but if you want to try a different approach, then go ahead.
I have really enjoyed your story so far. And I am sure if you decide to rewrite it, I will enjoy that thoroughly too. As was mentioned above though, you should do what brings you the most joy.
I plan on enjoying whichever you decide regardless. It would be a shame if you forced yourself into a task that you didn't enjoy at least as much as I enjoy reading it.
5343395
Yes! I would love to see Sunset and Tsunade interact and I would love to see that dynamic!
Witch one
Have you seen the story last sunset by Kyoten fuyu?
Not the story itself but the cover art you might be interested in.
Just a thought you might like.
No matter your choice on the rewrite I will be along for the ride, I enjoy what you've written so far and only see this working for you in the long-term. A story an author is proud of is always better than one they have misgivings with. Good luck and keep up the good work.
Personally, I would like to know what this rewrite of your would entail as I do not have enough information to give an opinion on. I liked the way that this story was going, even though I thought the POV changes where a bit sudden at the beginning, and I would love to see it continue on. However, you are asking to change this story to some extent and I have no idea what these changes could be.
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On your statement about the story not being original, I can say that I spent a good amount of time in the naruto fandom a few years back, and I have no idea to what stories you are referring to. This is a very interesting original story that I have been able to find with Sunset and Naruto in it. Also this is Fimfiction, not Fanfiction, so these stories you are referring to have likely not been read by your audience, as the stories are not on this website to my knowledge.
Personally, there are a few suggestions that I would like to see in the rewrite. Most notably, I would like a POV change every once in a while to see what is going on in Equestria. I would not have to be often, but maybe one or two chapters after each naruto arc. It would allow the audience to know at what moment in time the two universes are at. And I would like to see the other side of the story, with Princess Celestia telling her side of the story of the falling out.
(Also, just to go a bit off track, I believe Orochimaru is the second worst possible person that Sunset could have met, the only one that would be worse is Danzo. Because what would be worse, potentially getting experimented on and emotional trauma, or a root ANBU tool with no emotions to give what so ever?)
Also, while to early in the story to tell, I do hope that more of Equestria will interact with the ninja world, as judging by the dream sequence, a full blown first contact is possible. But it would be funny if, for some reason, the elements of harmony where sent to the ninja world to either find Sunset or something, and ultimately ended up in team 7’s care
Overall, everything else was just perfect, so I will say that I am also split on whether to rewrite the story or not. I do hope that you will post a brief summary of some of the changes you wish to implement, and then I will make my opinion based on that.
Have a happy new year and hope to hear from you soon,
SonicDJM
I only ask that sunset tell Sakura that she should join the medical core instead of the genin core... if sunset really thought she was wasting her talent she would say so, tho she probably wouldn't be nice about it, probably indifferent... also she was celestias student so she would know enough to know the difference between normal and dark magic, the only reason she turned into a demon in the cannon show was cause the element of magic contains all kinds of magic and not just friendship, and anger reacts more positively to dark than light, in my opinion anyway, tho whether she cared about using dark magic or not is up to debate, I mean she was trying to spite celestia...
Those were my only real problems with the story, I mean it's really great and original otherwise.
P.s. if you want sunset to be more direct it would be easy enough to move her character in that direction, she used to be direct before orochimaru so that she was given freedom could be used as an excuse to go back to being at least a little more blunt, tho if you don't want subterfuge then ninja story's won't go to well, I mean it's half if not most of their job.
Like most of the other readers, I enjoyed it as is. Of course, it's entirely your prerogative to alter the story as you see fit. What's truly important is that YOU are satisfied with it. A story written with pride and joy has always been a better read, in my experience.
sir it is ur story do as u please
but
plaese for the love of all writer don't leave the story unfinished..
best wishes sir !
My opinion?
Why re-write? Great backstory. The story itself is a work of fanfiction, and thus, inherently has some similarities to other works of fanfiction.
However, it seems sufficiently original and interesting to me.
Now, if you don’t want Sunset to continue being a spy?
Have her come clean to Kakashi! The man has a soft heart. He’ll watch over her more closely, both to protect her from her revelation as to make sure she’s truest had a change of heart… but he won’t rat her out.
Then she can tell Naruto, and, at a sufficiently dramatic moment, Sasuke can find out, and ‘drama’!
The she can be ratted out to Konaha as a whole after Orochi comes to Konaha and attacks, and she can fight with the Village of the Leaf, giving just enough reason from the city to not kill her. Making her very unpopular… sort of like Naruto in the opening, and… shock… just like Sunset Shimmer was after her reformation from Demon Shimmer!?
Sunset Shimmer, once she has true friends? She’s not going to keep working for someone who will kill them. Not in truth. Let her discover that truth.