I Think I'm In a Social Rut: Suggestions for Improvement? · 6:21pm Aug 4th, 2020
Blog Number 87: "Please Help Me" Edition
The Catch-22 of writing:
- Wants to write big, ambitious stories, but doesn't feel confident and ends up abandoning them.*
- Wants to build up confidence.
- Wants to write small, manageable stories, but doesn't feel they count as serious attempts at writing.**
- Wants to write a serious attempt, something big and ambitious.
- Goes back to step one.
* Example: Guard Flutter was an attempt at a radically different AU with a heavy pegasus bias. The story focused on both the relationships among the pegasus squad and the mystery of an almost supernatural criminal disguised as the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well. In an achingly familiar pattern of behaviour, I published its earliest chapters before finishing a draft (despite having most of the story worked out start-to-finish), lost my nerve almost immediately after, and jumped overboard.
** Example: pretty much most of my "character pieces", including Stormwalker, the latest one. They're still difficult in various ways, but I can at least produce one and feel I've accomplished something during those long stretches where I'm going mad trying to up my game. Part of the problem is that I wonder to what extent they're actually stories or just test cases for, say, personal ideas about background pegasus twins.
Firstly, am I alone here?
This depressingly familiar scenario is one I keep hitting my head on, but I can't tell if this is a normal awkward phase of a long-term writing cycle (that could, say, span weeks or months), or an example of my personal incompetence getting stuck in a rut.
Secondly, is it a coincidence I find it hard to discuss ideas I'm toying with regarding the show's elements?
I frequently use resources like mlp.fandom.com and TVTropes and Wikipedia for picking up ideas (just to list online sources), so it's not lack of stimulation.
But it's not as easy talking about these forming ideas because A) I'm paranoid someone will pinch them, B) I don't feel confident discussing often raw or vaguely formed fragments of potential story, rather than finished works that are dramatic or spectacular or fully confident in execution, and C) they often seem to be of tangential interest to most people (e.g. particular takes on either obscure background characters or character tags with few if any stories).
For one thing, it just seems my overall reticence about this and my writing struggles are correlated. I've never been a very active site member or social creature in general, and I'm starting to wonder if that's been working against me all along.
Thirdly, how do I stop the self-block?
Given how much time and raw material I have to work with, I could have been - and still could be - a lot more productive if I didn't spend hours browsing stuff, fighting self-motivation, or losing steam for keen ideas that nevertheless go nowhere. There must be a way around this consistent block.
Yes, yes, solution's obvious, but it's been obvious for a while. It's been easier to pick up obviously sensible ideas (such as practise a lot, get a proofreader/editor, don't be afraid to fail, and don't rush yourself or get impatient) than to actually follow them. It's the fact that I'm still not following them that I want to address.
Part of what makes this so maddening is that the ingredients are there laid out in front of me, and some (lamentably dominant) part of me just doesn't "click" despite the fact the rest of me (irritated and wishing it could be in charge) is actively impeded by its presence.
Is there some trick to distracting it or weakening it or getting rid of it altogether (the lamentably dominant part, not the irritated and wishing-it-could-be-in-charge part)?
Because I already know what my writing needs. When I get over the block, I enjoy each stage of the writing experience. I just don't understand why the block's there. I don't understand why, when I get a corker of an idea, nineteen times out of twenty I repeatedly find myself unwilling or feeling unable to actually do it or start it or stick to it. It's ludicrous, especially after eight and a half years of writing ponyfics and seeing them at least get some good feedback. The potential's there. It gets out sometimes. I just think it could get out more often.
Like... is it my lack of blog posts, or fics, or overall fan engagement, or what? Because I can increase that and do it more often, if that's what's dragging me down. I'm open to the idea there's a strong social component to this issue, and I want to fix it so I can actually get something done.
I can't tell from inside. You lot have the outsider's pespective. Any ideas?
Open to suggestions for improvement,
Impossible Numbers, out.
3: Is something a lot of new writers appear to feel; and often don't realize is utter and complete bullshit. Possibly because they haven't done sufficient reading of older literature and classics, and have either not taken creative writing courses, or they ones they did take were crap.
Nearly all well-known modern genre-fiction authors -- and, indeed, even many authors of "literary" fiction -- got their start writing short stories; and many continued to write short stories throughout their careers. A few of them are better known for their short stories that their novels; and indeed, their shorter work is often better than their longer fiction. Ray Bradbury and Edgar Allan Poe would be the obvious examples here, but there are many others.
Short stories have a different set of challenges than longer-form fiction, but are still just as difficult to craft well. Short stories tend to get a bad reputation among fanfiction writers because that's how nearly everyone starts out; and of course, new writers generally suck. It doesn't help that there is also an institutional bias in the mainstream publishing industry against short stories, with novel-length work being preferred for commercial fiction.
Oh goodness, you are definitely not alone in trying to overcome your own inertia. I find one of the best solutions for me is to just run with an idea when it hits me, regardless of how long the resulting product turns out to be. And I use inertia as a term deliberately; it's hard to get going when you're stalled, but it gets easier once you're moving, either in an individual writing session or as you make writing more of a habitual exercise. (Mind you, I still manage to crash into a rut of a ground state on a distressingly regular basis.
)
But yeah, take no shame in the short works. They're not distractions, they're warmups.
You're definitely not alone. :B
If it's any consolation, sometimes the short stories you write as practice turn out to be hits. For example, I spent five years writing those to get my skills to where I could pull off Krastos the Glue Maker. Several of those are now regarded as classics, but when Krastos finally arrived it barely made a ripple.
The lesson is, be grateful for any accolades you do get, because you never know what may or may not be a hit. In other words: Don't worry; be happy.
Just write medium stories. Longer than a short story, but not long enough to be considered a big sprawling adventure. Just something that starts and finishes in like four chapters. And slowly up the chapters as you go, constantly challenge yourself on what you can take. Occasionally fall back on what's comfortable, before turning your aim towards something slightly more ambitious than the last one. Eventually, the huge sprawling AU won't seem that daunting.
Don't try to climb the mountain by jumping right to the top; you'll be disappointed in yourself that you just can't jump high enough. Make small leaps instead and slowly inch your way upwards.
Hey man. I’m right there with you. Especially right now.
I might have said before that I don’t really believe in writer’s block—I believe that if you know you’re a writer, and you find yourself blocked, it’s because something else is squatting on your brain-pan. I don’t know the full details of your situation but I bet you have one right now. I certainly do. Whole world does, in fact. And whatever it is, it’s worse now because everything is so messed up. Death stalks the streets—literally. There’s little opportunity to truly decompress. It just keeps roiling and it doesn’t seem like it can get better for a long time.
I’m completely blocked right now. It’s driving me crazy that I can’t un-block. Big projects, small projects, doesn’t matter. I’ve switched back and forth and I’m not getting anywhere. And right now, what’s wrong is stuff that is as big as life and unable to be forced back into shape. My only way out is through, and God alone knows how long that’s gonna take.
Discussing ideas can be daunting but has historically been worth it. I have also feared having my ideas “stolen,” but I think most of the time an idea by itself doesn’t overshadow its execution. There are cases where the opposite is true, such as inventions or truly novel media—but we’re in derivative media here. We’re all about putting new spins on the familiar, or already established. The idea can help build an audience hook, which is certainly important. But it’s the quality of execution that helps sustain readers.
So talking can help. Opening up and geeking out about your cool idea can help motivate you, or help you figure out what’s blocking it. But right now there’s ample reason to be blocked. If you are, look elsewhere in your life, see what’s popping, and get real about what (if anything) you can do about that.
Maybe your experience will differ from mine, but I hope this is in some way useful.
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Hi, everyone. Just a minor followup message. A long silence from me strikes me as seeming ungrateful or rude, so I just want to assure people I am grateful for all the replies and advice.
My silence is largely a matter of uncertainty as to how to properly go about this: I just don't want to fall into the trap of believing everything's solved in a few comments, and I'm currently trying to put some of the advice here into practice (e.g. take short stories more seriously, give myself a writing outlet for "lesser" ideas, try an incremental increase, possibly talk more in the future about ideas), which seems to me the best way to repay it.
I've delayed this response a while, but I want to assure people it's not because the words have fallen on deaf ears. Rest assured I am thinking about the points raised here, and have attempted to follow up on a couple, so far.
But it's occurred to me I've a few basic assumptions of my own that need examining. Given the years of momentum behind some of them, that can't happen overnight, so I wanted to avoid glib responses like "great idea, wow, I never thought of that!"
Otherwise, I might release another blog post later down the line for a progress update. In the meantime: Thanks again, everyone. I really do mean it.
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This sounds like you have a healthy and realistic handle on your own situation, which is not nothing. :D