Director's cut: Unexpected Pairings · 3:35am Jun 7th, 2020
First, yeah, that happened.
I'll get right to the story's ending. For this story, I wanted something wacky to happen after Twilight caught Starlight & Chrysalis in Starlight's room. Well, Tirek being in Twilight's room and revealing that they had a secret "monthly" friendship fit the bill. The two being shocked at Starlight and Chrysalis's "friendship" but oblivious to the insaneness of their own friendship was here for an extra comedy kick.
In fact, if you thought THIS was insane, read this. I gave thought about going even further, and have Sombra be in Twilight's room instead of Tirek, but didn't.
Also, something else to go ahead and note. For many of my past comedies, I had the "Random" and "comedy" tags together, but thinking about it, the "Random" tag may not have been necessary for several of them. But since my last ten or so comedy stories, I treated the "Random" tag a bit differently and more like I should to be honest. Since then (and ever since), if the "Random" tag is there with the "Comedy" tag, it means I made a point to make the story more zany than if the tag isn't there. Subversions by themselves won't be much of a factor, unless (at least) a triple subversion happen, which I haven't tried yet. Even double subversions are (for now) rare.
Now for the cuts and edits. This story has a bunch of noteworthy changes that happened during editing.
The first was how the story started. At first, it started out with Twilight's thoughts on what she'd do to Chrysalis if Starlight was hurt. I ended up changing it to having the narrator start off with the boring bright, sunny day line. On a related note, I wondered about having the story start with Twilight at the bookshop, but later thought that wouldn't be needed.
That, by extension, leads to the second noteworthy edit. Nothing in the paragraph where the narrator talked about the Twilight in this story being in her season 4 finale form was there originally.
A third edit, or should I say a cut, was to what the narrator (who I'm just going to call a "he") said after he mentioned Twilight being prone to "forgetting" she was teleport, which was
Hey, don’t ask me why that adorkable alicorn keeps forgetting she can teleport during times like this! Ask her! I’m just an underpaid narrator of a story written by a lazy as Tartarus writer. Maybe she’ll finally remember in season 9.
I cut most of this at around the time I made the edit to the start of the story. The final sentence wasn't cut, but simply moved to the paragraph with Twi forgetting about teleportation.
Next, there were several notable edits/cuts that happened in two succeeding paragraphs. To make things much easier and quicker, I'll just put what the paragraphs are in the final version, then have what it was in the second-draft.
final version
Could it have been Starlight? The moment made Twilight remember that she failed to check Starlight’s bedroom. It was an obvious place to go, but immense fear and panic can make you lose even the most basic of common sense, no matter how high your IQ is. Incidentally, Twilight is rumored to possess an IQ of 210, but she also believes that she was cheated during her last IQ test.
A surprising idea suddenly emerged in Twilight's mind, making her gasp and “facehoof”. In a potentially out-of-character moment for this situation, she thought to not run or fly, but to use her teleportation. In a flash of a magenta light and with a “poof” that accompanies teleportation, she teleported to Starlight’s closed bedroom door.
same part, second draft
Could it have been Starlight? The moment made Twilight remember that she didn’t check Starlight’s bedroom yet. It was an obvious place to check, but fear and panic can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do. Twilight even forgot to round up her friends to help her kick some changeling butt!
Twilight sped down the hallways again. In preparation for the upcoming battle, she lit her horn. She was ready to do her first-ever solo-kill if need be. As a kindhearted pony, Twilight doesn't like to hurt anything, much less to take a life. Even so, if you force her hoof, such as by threatening her friends or destroying books, she'll do it.
Celestia help you if Twilight was already in a bad mood to begin with.
The last, but biggest, notable edit, was to Spike's reaction to Twilight & Tirek and how the story ended. At first, after he was sure he was seeing right...well, this happened.
Twilight?" Spike asked in a firm voice.
"What?"
"I have lived with you almost all my life, but I'm getting too old for this. I'm moving out.
I thought that was funny, yet something about it just didn't feel quite right. Not long after that, I changed it to Spike instead thinking Twilight (and Starlight) lost their minds for real, but wanted to take care of them until they were back to their senses.
Lastly, what Twilight’s IQ was. I picked 210 for a reason, other than it being extremely high.
When the story was submitted, my follower count was at 210, making it a subtle call-out to all my followers at the time. You guys, including my newer followers rock!
Aww thanks 😄