*Gasp!* It moved · 10:11am Mar 8th, 2020
Hey, long time no see, everyone.
So, I haven’t been active for some time. I haven’t even watched the show in almost a year. I haven’t left the fandom though, the simple and at seemingly weak explanation is simply… I’ve been busy.
Mostly it’s been my job, but how can one job make one more busy than another job when it’s the same amount of hours? Well, I guess busy doesn’t describe all of it- I’ve been busy doing a job I was in some ways cut out for, in other ways very much not.
It’s been a social job, and there lies the problem. I was a salesman, constantly surrounded by all kinds of people- angry people, jovial people, stressed people, talkative people, too talkative people, oblivious people, experts, people with patience, people without patience, etc. I’ve had to be nice, firm, investigative, patient, strict, all at the same time.
(Worst of all were the people who didn’t want help. so much as just wanting a scapegoat for when they mess up (“But he said this would work!”). A little bit of advice to whoever it may concern: If you go to a store and ask question because you want someone to blame when you get the wrong thing or use it in the wrong way- don’t. The people working there can tell. Oh yes, they can.)
The thing is, I’m a very asocial person. I know, I know, another introvert complaining about being an introvert in today’s society, boohoo. I mean, I get it, everyone has issues, it’s just that the issues I’ve had for the last year has been of the kinds that sapped almost all my creative energy. And what a place it was that I worked. I’ll have stories for the rest of my life from there.
In the final months, I was also the senior employee on my shift, which means the new work leader constantly needed my help to do his job, and I had to help all the other salesmen-and-women with their, all on top of my regular workload. That, and the constant stream of customers, and the endless barrage of… I don’t really want to call it music. It was some sort of abomination, but not music.
(Although I had a fun time trying to discern the lyrics of several songs, such as the one going “I got downs, I got downs,” and another that went, “I will taste- every gnome”)
And one of the things I learned from working there was that stress is not a binary value, but that it comes in different flavors. I guess stress is like disease- it’s the same general idea, if you have a lot of it, you’re unhealthy, and little or none of it and you’re healthy, but there are so many different kinds, and no panacea, no one activity that de-stresses you.
I simply didn’t have enough hours in the day to treat the concoction of stress I received on a daily basis. It needed careful analysis and well thought-out treatment, but I only had time to focus on the most pressing symptoms. It was like it was the turn of the century and I was a sick man getting cocaine eye-drops as treatment or something- it’s true that I felt better, but I could tell it wasn’t sustainable.
This is why I haven’t been writing a lot lately, or watching the show for that matter. Besides all the other obligations of life, going back there every day and dealing with clearly conflicting directives, doing my job and the work of two, sometimes three others, and all the time having to be polite and patient towards impatient people with absolutely no regard for how your day is going, well, I couldn’t relax by watching the show. That sounds strange, since that’s supposed to be relaxing, but I had to focus on the kind of entertainment that yielded the most return in de-stressment possible.
It felt like I answered to shareholders. I would have liked to do something other than play RDR2 (and I love that game, it helped sustain me in crucial moments) but no, that didn’t lead to optimal short-term relaxation, and so it was not worth pursuing.
I don’t work there anymore, and while this means that I currently don’t have an income, I think it’s for the best.
Anyway, this was a rant, but ranting can be very healthy. I can feel myself slowly becoming a real person again, and I’m hoping to get my writing mojo back. I’ve missed my stories, I’ve missed Gabe, and I’ve missed you guys.
Gad, that sounds horrible. I'm glad to hear that you're well out of it. Any thoughts on a new direction, or are you going to enjoy a bit of "vacation" first?
5216029
There were a bunch of fun colleagues who want me to come back, but that's up to my former boss, sadly.
Vacation first. I really need it. After that, I'm not sure.
Really loved your stories, especially MLAABQ. Take some time to relax as there is no point in rushing your stories they aren't going anywhere :)
5216031
Thanks for the kind words, and thanks for being understanding
I actually had to kinda stop myself from rushing back to my stories when I quit, and take a breather for a few days. Nevertheless, when it feels right, I'll continue writing
Welcome home! Hope you have a great time.
5216066
Thank you very much
And I'm sure I will once I get back into creative mode
Obligatory reminder that, by the time I joined the fandom, circumstances had conspired to make it impractical to watch the show. That's not even talking about all the people who stopped watching it after (insert base-breaking moment here).
5216071
Yeah, I gotta say that I've liked it less after Starlight Glimmer, though I can't say for sure that it doesn't pick up later. Why couldn't you watcht he show though?
5216073
No television, and my sound card is mostly broken. I'd have to either spend nearly as much time with it paused as watching it, or rely on probably-automated-and-therefore-terrible subtitles. Not "couldn't" per se, but close enough that I always have better things to do.
5216076
Oh. Yeah that sucks. At least my job afforded me a real monster of a tower machine though, so I'm set on that front
I recommend you get the episodes to future proof it for when you do get a functional machine though. Hope everything works out.
Hey if ranting to us makes you feel better then rant on
Sucks to hear things went ass-up like that. Best of luck finding a workplace that fits better with you as a person
And glad to hear you're still here!
5216121
Thanks
5216149
Thanks. I guess I'll just keep looking and hope it works out, and might even leave me with enough energy to write
... Maybe an author
5216203
Maybe becoming an author might work. Who knows?
That job sounds awful. I hope you find something better in due time.
5216073
I my opinion, it did get a lot better after the first season with Starlight. They kind of forced her character in there in an awkward way, but once that's sorted the quality goes up again.
And I haven't watched most of the last season either, for similar reasons and no reason in particular. I just enjoy here more now, I guess. It comes and goes in seasons, like everything.
5216218
That would be nice, being able to keep writing and getting paid for it
5216220
It was kinda awful, although the people working the other shift were all really cool.
Gonna take some time to watch it then, and yeah, I'm hoping the whole Starlight thing gets better. If not, well, I have several seasons without her
Glad to see you back, though sorry to hear you've been going through so much stress. Hope things start looking up, and we'll be here whenever your muse hits you again!
5216227
Thank you, both for your support and patience
I know first hand how RL can drain out the will to write, so while I'm really happy that you are back I'll understand if the updates are not as frequent.
Good luck with it all!
5216447
Thank you. I might also now have some time to read some more, and I've been wanting to continue your story for a while now
*pokes you with a stick to double-check*
5216922
*A deep rumble sounds from the big pile of blankets, and a small pile of papers are tossed out from somewhere underneath the mound. It is the latest chapter*
5216929
Hrmmm, and what if I feed it new paper and ink...? *tries to do so*
5217122
*A rumble preludes something shooting out and grabbing the ink and paper before retreating into the pile of blankets. It could have been an appendage, but it was hard to tell. Everything goes silent, except for the occasional sound of scribbling from inside the mound*
5217264
YAY! I got it more supplies to write with ^_^
Ugh, I would never work in sales. I hate stupid people, and you end up dealing with so many of them there.
Of course, in MY case, stupid people are pretty much ubiquitous as less than 0.00000000000000000001% of the cosmos even comes close to my level!
I'm glad your back and doing well. I know what it's like to work in sales. It's pretty shitty even at the best of times. But atleast you decided to put your mental health first. You write such amazing content, consider putting up a patron! You could get atleast a little income for yourself
5264155
Yeah, maybe I should consider a patreon, especially now that I've been laid off. But then again, writer's block is bad enough without the pressure of money. Food for thought.
Thanks for your kind words though. I hope to continue writing soon
So, your pfp became much more relevant to your state of mind, huh? Glad you're out of that messy situation, and I can certainly wait for you to get your head screwed back on right before you can get to writing again. We all missed you and Gabe, but we can eait a little while longer. Take your time, bud.
5283094
Thanks for being understanding. I'll try and get something done soon, and it'll probably be a chapter for the human club.
5284563
Yo I've just redived into the fandom after quietly suppressing it for years (probably dysphoria tbh) and MLAABQ is one of the best things I could've read right now, so thank you so entirely much for writing it. It gave me so many wonderful and/or wonderfully varied emotions and got me to reflect on my longing for so many things. I love it, even if I kinda ache afterwards. I love it so much, thank you. I wish you the absolute best, in every forthcoming minute and arriving second. You deserve the whole of it.
5362875
Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you liked it, and I wish you the best as well. I'll try and continue the sequel soon