Fun Little Things · 5:29am Nov 18th, 2012
Hello again.
So, I've noticed a couple things about the userbase of this site. I've sorta seen them before, but I'd never had a popular story before Apples At Sunset (yes, SmutAnon is an alternate account).
First of all, the comments, and the shit one particular comment got me in to.
For the most part, they're what you expect: a lot of your generic "moar!" or "10/10" (which I do enjoy reading, btw. My ego is always up for inflating), then some "this sucks" with no explanation. A much smaller portion of the comments are split between more personal reactions and constructive criticism. Those are the comments I really dive into. They show that the stuff I wrote actually got to people, and how I might improve.
But I found a very interesting comment on Apples. I won't mention the user, since that isn't relevant, but the comment went like this:
Is it just me or does Applejack get more than her fair share of human/pony action? Strange. That aside, I feel this story fails in several key areas.
*For a story all about physical interaction, we learn nothing about Applejack physical characteristics. Is she full-horse sized, or does she only comes up to his knee/waist/shoulder?
*The sex sounds like it's written by someone who has limited knowledge of the subject. There are certain universal ways women react when they're really enjoying themselves, which are absent from this story, and things they almost universally find boring, which are present. There are also things that all quadrupeds find pleasant, some of which should extend to ponies. Nothing seems to show up. Several times I heard QI alarm bells go off over ideas which are widely believed but actually not true.
*'Ass' has a variety of meanings. One of them is 'anus'. Hence 'she dropped her ass directly on his face' is not necessarily a pleasant image. (Especially if she's close to the quarter-ton end of the scale! See point one.)The anatomy was generally confusing. If Applejack has a pussy in this story, why doesn't she also have breasts/teats?
You seem torn between going into detail and describing sex in broad strokes. But as a rule, the bread and butter of any story is in the details, especially the sensory ones. If you're not willing to do that, best to write a saucy seduction story, and then pull the curtains closed before anything vague and indistinct happens.
Condescending tone aside, this really got me thinking. I thought I had avoided such pitfalls, but then again, (to this commentor's credit) I never have had sex. Doh! He got me!
So I went along my merry search of the internet for information about the more technical aspects of sex.
And oh boy, did I find something.
Now, looking up how to write vanilla erotica was simple enough; it's a large subsection of fiction and lots of people enjoy reading and writing erotica. The most helpful section, to me, was a little part of the NaNoWriMo (which is a really cool thing that I almost did myself) forums. Hell, they even had a thread called "Writing Erotica as a Virgin". Jackpot!
But, you see, I also wanted to find something on how to arouse a mare, as that was also part of this fair commentor's criticism. Well, I've never felt more awkward in my life than the moment when I opened Chrome in Incognito Mode and went to Duck Duck Go (hell no I ain't lettin' Google know I searched this!) to search the exact phrase:
"How to arouse a mare"
I found myself a zoophilia site, with a rather long, detailed description on how to get a mare goin'. And this isn't cute little ponies. These are full-grown, real-life equines.
My face when.
Now let me be clear about this: I don't care what you do as long as you're not hurting anyone or anything. Zoophilia ain't my thing, but I won't look down on you if it's yours. Heck, I write stories about HUMANS FUCKING PONIES. Sentient, fictional, cute ponies, but still ponies. However, actually looking at these pictures and these words, and realizing I came there by choice, I exploded into pure spaghetti on the spot.
I took the relevant knowledge away with me, but sometimes, I wish I hadn't.
Also, here's something I don't understand: why do people favorite a story but not give it a thumb-up? If the story is one of your favorites, does it not logically follow to rate it well? I know, I know; the Favorite button has function beyond simply marking a story as a favorite... but if you want to follow a story, why not just tack it on your 'read later' list?
Not being critical of people who do this, I just find it curious.
Updatewise: I'm about halfway through converting purpledom 2, and I've got most of chapter 2 of Apples planned out. Typically, the clop scene in a chapter is the hardest (yes, yes, I know. Laugh it up.) thing for me to figure out. With that out of the way, it shouldn't be too much longer after I finish with PD 2 that I get Apples 2 finished.
In closing, have an adorable gif of Twilight.
images.4chan.org/mlp/src/1353203972239.gif
moar 10/10
Seriously tho, while it may be useful to have that info, I guess, I'd avoid leaning on it too heavily if you plan on putting it to use. These ponies are not 100% comparable to IRL equines, and are, honestly alot like us in some ways. There is some wiggle room. *shrug* Jus' ma thoughts.
I would agree with Anon on a few points. Pony size sis something kinda important. The generally accepted dimensions are an adult pony comes up to about mid-stomach on an average male, or around one meter tall. Some stories have them only coming up to our waist, and other, disturbingly, only our knees. o_O
Where I disagree is this: the "Bringing her ass right on your face" is hot as fuck, IMHO. Dat Apple Plot is the main reason AJ gets so much action. I mean hell, she kicks trees for a living! It's pretty much a given that she's going to have an ass like a steel kettle! Now, I don't spend a bunch of time thinking about cartoon pony sex........................................................ But that seems like an ass I'd want to worship. Not in any freaky, disgusting fetish kinda way, just like you did, hands, tongue.
I'd just ask the clop scenes to be a bit longer. And more Apple Plot sex...
TL;DR, you rock, don't let haters get you down!
513945
Yeah, this is something I learned while reading up on erotic fiction in general. The consensus seemed to be that the particular commentor had set his or her expectations for technically-correct function far too high. Being accurate is good, but this is still erotic FICTION. Liberties can and should be taken in the interest of the feel of the moment.
Well then, props to you being brave enough to look that stuff up
(coulda been worse: coulda been her educating you on the subject herself like what happened in a story of my own...yeah, the main character "could not unsee...what he's seen...with whom he's seen it with") 
...I guess Twilight would be proud?
As for the Favorite button and Likes, I share about the same opinion as you. Oh wellz
Give yourself some credit. Sure, not every clopfic is anatomically accurate.
However, I only care about how fun it is to read.
Does that make me a terrible reader?
513942
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
Wow, you my friend are dedicated to your writing.
I'm looking forward to seeing how it improves your stories!
Ok, yes, that is an adorable GIF.
And if you're having trouble writing smut/erotica, have an editor who HAS done the deed help you out (it's what I'm doing for my clop). Believe me, it REALLY helps.
As for anatomy's sake, just throw it out the window. Many clop fics have the mare's vagina built as basically the same structure as a human's, so you can't complain about anatomical facts. For the actual act of 'arousal'... well, it might be more instinctual, but who knows? Really depends on how you play it in your own story, so long as it's believable.
Honestly, i often times forget to thumb up a fic but i always favourite it when i love it just to track it for more chapters. I just forget stuff ya know...
513982 What this guy said as well. Ass = good.
I-I don't even.
static2.fjcdn.com/comments/MIND+BLOWN+_70fd3809beb4abf3f7497785243071ca.jpg
514048
But there are SOME animalistic aspects that you'd want to keep. Example is I read a story where it said the back of the mane is an erogenous zone, due to ancient pony breeding instincts. That kind of stuff add to the over hotness, I think.
514113
If you wish to be anatomical, then be my guest. Familiarity helps a reader, and it helps the author stay sane (God forbid they trip over something besides a medical document...), but if anatomical correctness helps a reader understand and move on in a story, fine. If anatomical correctness is what they need to understand and carry on in a story, they should probably step back a bit and rethink things.
Anatomy is fine, but it's superficial, not a necessity. It shouldn't need to be there, right?
514125
Uh, I mean.....
Well, yes, it doesn't NEED to be there, but with smut, it's the little things, the minute details that create the mood. There are plenty of websites that offer erotic fiction with humans, but who the hell would want to read that?!
Anyway, since someone came here for pony smut, little things like that help build the scene in the readers mind.
Mind you, I'm not criticizing SmutAnon here, I think he does a great job.
I wouldn't worry too much about tailoring your erotica to be physically accurate for irl ponies. The ponies from the show, aside from very basic physical traits, share nothing in common with actual ponies. As for the points he raised in his comment, some of it is valid, but a lot of it doesn't really say much.
He says you described parts of the sexual process incorrectly, but he never goes into detail to say which parts he felt were incorrect. And the rest of the comment sums up to "more detail overall". Not to say that he's entirely wrong, more detail in the sex scenes would be nice, but I would have to disagree with his assessment of the quality of the sex. True, it was pretty over the top, but since it's a fictional story it doesn't have to be entirely accurate in that regard. A bit of over dramatization of the sex just makes it all the better imo. And since the scene itself was so...frantic is probably the best word for it, there wasn't really a lot of room for finesse, so a lot of the "usual" reactions and stuff wouldn't really be an issue. Pretty much everyone who's already posted got the points that need to be said already, so I won't drag this out.
As for the Favoriting thing, I use it to mark stories that I want to continue reading since a favorited story will give you a little update thing on your dashboard when a new chapter is posted and the read later button doesn't. And when you've got a couple hundred stories on your read later list, sifting through all of them for new chapters would be nearly impossible.
514139
Criticism is natural, you don't need to apologize for it if you are criticising. As for smut, granted point, you do have to describe what's actually happening for the reader to understand. What I'm against is going to lengths to make sure a pony vagina is anatomically correct, and not using human terminology, even changed. That's the issue.
I'm AFRAID of what the Internet will show me if I start straying off the path of established human terminology for the genitals.
514158
I wholeheartedly agree. Human terminology and anatomy is just fine for me, thank you. I've read a few good ones, mainly by JujubeLand, that make use of the location of horse breasts, but mainly I stay away.
What I'm more referring to is the behavior. The exciting part of pony smut, besides seeing characters we love in sexy situations, is that minor blend of animal with human. Things like raising her tail, or use of the word "rut" are things that sweeten the deal, IMHO.
514184
Ahhh, yes, I see what you mean. Yeah, I agree with that. It's a critical part of the story, after all.
Hoo boy... so THAT'S what I felt. You sent a shiver up my spine the other day, man.
Now then... I look forward to seeing what you come up with. And why have you not joined the AiE group on here yet?
We could use ya. 
Writing vanilla is relatively easy for someone who's never had sex before, the hard part is writing fetishes (like bestiality on this here site) with the same sense of decency/actually good writing and attention to detail as you would vanilla. (Having sex helps, I'll admit
) It's not so much a block as it is another hurdle to overcome in your steps to improving. I wish you luck on your journey, good sir 
514098 Me neither.
513987
Twilight: Onto the Internet! FOR SCIENCE!
Volare: OH SHI-
Going to the internet to learn about sex is like going to 4chan to learn how to be a caring human being.
That said, as someone who has actually worked with horses professionally, I'm more than willing to answer any technical or behavioral questions you may have about the beasties.
Also, keep on doin' what you're doin', because I like it.
well i got a respect someone who dose reaserch into the topic they are writing about. you are a brave soul indeed. not complaining but make the sex sceens nice and long.....
dont judge me if i like this stuff....darn you interwebs