• Member Since 4th Nov, 2012
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  • 551 weeks
    Getting off the ride

    As most of you probably realized from the title, I am indeed getting off the ride. With the exception of Starswirl Academy, I will be making no further pony content. No short stories, no long stories, no quests, nothing. I enjoyed my time as a fan of the show, but I'm moving on to other things.

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    29 comments · 1,005 views
  • 561 weeks
    Every time I hear this I want to strangle someone

    For a good portion of my time as a pony fanfic writer (woah, doesn't that sound prestigious?) I was a reviewer as well. I still review some things, and still take questions from aspiring writers. One of the questions I hear, especially from newer writers, is thus:

    "Is it okay if I..."


    "But what if—"

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    3 comments · 655 views
  • 569 weeks
    Arguing on the Internet

    I've decided to make this post not about writing specifically (though you can certainly apply this to writing) and instead focus on something else that you may find useful:

    How (I think) you should argue on the internet.

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    5 comments · 635 views
  • 575 weeks
    Looking back and some thoughts on dialogue

    Greetings this fine Sunday morning. There are a couple things I want to talk about in this post. The first being a little self-reflection and the second being about something a bit more educational: dialogue.

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    2 comments · 605 views
  • 576 weeks
    Writing Sex Scenes

    You want to give clop a shot, but don't have any idea where to start? Sure, writing a story is one thing, but getting really into the hot and heavy, especially when it isn't your thing, can be confusing or otherwise difficult. Fortunately, you follow my blog and here I'll give my thoughts on writing sex.

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    6 comments · 986 views

Writing Sex Scenes · 7:46am Jun 3rd, 2013

You want to give clop a shot, but don't have any idea where to start? Sure, writing a story is one thing, but getting really into the hot and heavy, especially when it isn't your thing, can be confusing or otherwise difficult. Fortunately, you follow my blog and here I'll give my thoughts on writing sex.

I think it goes without saying, but LEWD DESCRIPTIONS AHEAD. If you are not comfortable with that sort of thing, do NOT continue.

Before I even start, though, I want to mention something. I have never had sex and as such, have no experience with the real thing. Luckily, however, there is another writer who HAS experienced the real thing, and gave his thoughts in this blog post. He details mostly the technical, realistic things about sex. I've read the post myself and found myself agreeing with just about everything he said. In this post, however, I won't be going over the same things as him.

Good? Good. Let's get to it.

In sex, there are two dominant elements that steer the direction of the scene: physical and emotional descriptions. You'll find that, "Hey, that doesn't tell me anything! Any scene about anything is driven that way!" This is true, but I wanted to state that so you know my starting point. Typically, a sex scene that seeks to develop characters and progress plot through those characters will show a lot more emotion, and even depart from the sex for some time to relay a character's thoughts. A sex scene that attempts to arouse the reader will dwell more on physical descriptions. My ideal scene has a mixture of both.

Let me state this: Neither of theses 'types' are better than the other. They simply have different goals. Don't think a scene dominated by physical descriptions is shallow or crass, just as you shouldn't think a scene is sophisticated or complex simply because it focuses on thoughts and emotions.

Let's take a look at a more physical scene. I'll use the first chapter of Beating Her Heat, in this instance.

Once again, you're completely baffled by Twilight's knowledge and skill. Either she has some serious experience, or found one hell of a book on fellatio. It's the real deal, too: saliva, lips, hot breath, suction, everything.
How is this even possible?
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter, cause you're on the receiving end of the most intense blowjob you've ever experienced. You’re frozen in your tracks. Soft lips move painfully slow on your shaft, up and down in perfect rhythm. A wicked tongue coils around you, squeezes, and uncoils, leaving immense pleasure in its wake—then does it again.

Notice how much of this is focused on actions.
"...It's the real deal, too: saliva, lips, hot breath, suction, everything...."
"...Soft lips move painfully slow on your shaft, up and down in perfect rhythm..."
"...A wicked tongue coils around you, squeezes, and uncoils..."
This part of the scene is straight-up meant to arouse you. It works through giving your mind something to work off of: a concrete, physical description of things happening to the protagonist's happy stick. Granted, it won't do a whole lot for a woman, but unfortunately, I am absolutely clueless in that department. Also notice that these descriptions are most passive. If I were to write a scene in which the protag is the dominant one, I would be using different words and sentence structure. Here, things happen to the protag, so the active noun in the sentence is Twilight, most often. Verbs refer to her actions.

Look at this bit from Apples At Sunset:

You immediately grab and squeeze again. She responds by rubbing it against you. Her motions almost set you off right there. Hooves start digging under your shirt and the buttons simply pop off; AJ didn't have the patience to undo them. You feel a hot breath on your crotch as she leans over to undo your trousers with her mouth. This increases the pressure of her ass on your face—heck, you can't even breathe now. You could lift it off of you, but screw that.

In this scene, the protag is more active, but again, this is a physical part of the scene.
"...grab and squeeze again..."
"...rubbing it against you..."
"...Hooves start digging under your shirt..."
"...hot breath on your crotch..."
You can also tell that these sentences start with "you" just as much as "She/Her/AJ". This is because neither party is sub or dom, it's mutually intense.

Emotional or contemplative parts of the scene dwell on characters' mental reactions. These are just as important as they keep the reader in the mind of the character involved in the act, allowing the arousal to be effective as well as developing the character by showing how they act in light of this new situation.

Take this bit from BHH:

After a couple minutes, you figure she's stopped for good. Whatever her plan is, she’s got you baffled. You wipe the sweat from your brow and try to figure out what to do with yourself. Twilight probably isn’t far, part of your brain wanted you to find her and talk about this. Another part was yelling at you to bail. But there was one last perspective rattling around in your head, one that wanted you to go right up to Twilight, throw off your clothes, and—

These are all thoughts about the sex that's happening. What is the protag going to do next? What does he think about Twilight's aggressiveness? What does he want out of this? Even the physical sentence, "You wipe the sweat from your brow and try to figure out what to do with yourself," is a showing of how Twilight's actions have effected him thusfar.

AAS has similar paragraphs, though I'll spare you any more examples from it. While I include both physical and mental descriptions in the first chapters of AAS and BHH, they have different effects in the end. AAS's sex scene is padded with plot/character development both before and after the sex, though not a whole lot happens during it. The foreplay in AAS is also much longer, allowing me to show the protag's thoughts more thoroughly. In BHH, I just dive right into it, and allow some breaks for the protag's thoughts to catch up. In the end, however, AAS's sex is only a way to show the relationship between AJ and protag. In BHH, it's just smut for fun.

There is one last thing worth mentioning: that's telling a sex scene with emotion and abstraction only. A neat little story, Nightflower, does this wonderfully. There are physical descriptions, yes, but they're more... detacted. Distant. The focus is wholly on how Twilight's mind is functioning. The thoughts rushing through her head as Celestia proceeds with her actions. Truthfully, I think the physical descriptions are merely there to keep the reader from getting lost amoungst the torrent of thoughts. It's certainly a unique take on sex and I'd love to emulate it one day.

This message is simple but probably the most important thing I could say, so I'll say it without fluff: VERBS ARE YOUR WEAPONS. Verbs are what conform to the task, and verbs are what determine your success or failure. Adjectives are very important, yes, and even more so in purple (wordy) passages, but verbs are always the MOST important.

If you're intimidated by sex scenes, here is my advice: the scene is the sum of it's parts. Don't think it's something special that you could never conquer. It's just like any other scene, you simply need to know your goals. If you want something hot and steamy, get physical. Talk about stimulation, and mix it up! Just don't completely neglect the mental side. Direct the character's thoughts not to the past or future, but to the now. Have them focus on how sexy everything is. If you want something romantic and deep, talk about heart and soul. Have your characters be selfless. Make them think about their actions first. Point out quirks and other things unique to the characters. Mention reactions to the other party's actions.

That is my post for tonight. As a side note, I was able to successfully maintain a 1000 words/day average for the last week... though I didn't exactly write 1000 words each and every day. I should try to work harder on that.

Good night.

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Comments ( 6 )

I am going to bookmark this, thanks.

And just when I was having a ton of trouble writing my own clop scenes. Much obliged, Smut.

I'll check out that other blog as well.

I've always meant to do something like this, but you've done it for me. Thank you Smut! <3

Bookmarking this. I've got a few unfinished clopfics simply because writing sex is so difficult. I can't even pinpoint why. I just feel drained after trying to write the nitty gritty of it. Thanks for the post. :rainbowdetermined2:

wow. that was some really good advice. :rainbowhuh: well done :scootangel::scootangel:

1122192 yeah i like 2 put some sex stuff in my stories & i mainly do actual sex stuff, not just kissing but the real deal. & thats why this advice helps me :pinkiehappy:

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