Things I hate #21 · 10:34pm Nov 14th, 2019
Mature fanfictions that only exist so the author can swear all he wants and have all the sex he wants and have all the violence he wants.
You know what I'm talking about. The stories that have the characters swear in every other paragraph to an insane degree, to the point where no one could rationally talk like it, just to justify the M rating. The stories that have the main character in a harem of competing girls so they can live out their fantasies of being the center of attention from hot girls 24/7. The stories where the blood and intensity are amped up so the main character can bust out new superhero powers and kick booty in their super-ultra-golden-dragon-blood-fang-sun-nightmare-form. They never try to say anything important or convey a message to the audience. It's just bad, un-fleshed-out, dim-witted, misplaced people with overpowered abilities, all focus on the main character, fantastical sex with everyone that has two X chromosomes, and swearing that will "supposedly" make everyone seem "grizzled" and "tough." You don't sound tough. You sound like a sixth-grader showing off his newfound abilities to say swear words.
First off, those kinds of circle-jerk, self-congratulatory stories seem rather immature. Counterintuitive to the mature rating, you think? If all you're going to do in this fanfiction is have the main character (or an original one) be an unhinged, dumber version of the show's version, why does it have to exist? It feels like a childish reason to make a fanfiction, you know?
Second, why do all of the main characters have to be so smart and so dumb at the same time? They offer smart tactical strategies, but can't see girls he has a crush on fighting over him. Every time they catch a glance, or see them blushing, or walk in on them while both are naked (a common trope) they're like, What was that all about? Meh, guess it was nothing. As if that wasn't bad enough, they all are tremendously endowed when it comes down to actually having sex. "Wow, you have a foot-long schlong! I love you soooo much!" Just for once, I want to see the guy with a piece of macaroni instead. It would make for a great subversion of expectation. But, knowing fanfiction authors, they'd have the girl put a spell on it so it gets swollen to the size of a soda bottle or something retarded like that.
Third, why do all these stories have atrocious grammar? That's another piece of evidence I can use to confirm my dreaded suspicion that 85% of M stories were all written by people under 18. Changes in past and present tense. Misplacement of commas and periods. No knowledge of words like to/too, here/hear, sheer/shear, etc. Mishandling paragraph breaks. Little knowledge of quotation marks. Edgy excuses to demonize characters, like the rape of his waifu.
He stands above him in the air. and he glared down at Shuinobawa Hatosisisisisisisisiisisisisisiisisisiisisisis, his dreaded enemy, in anger. "hey, f*&$face, you know what happens to people hwo harm those i love?", He shook his head no in feer, Naruto didnt care,
"you get to feel everything they felt as I skin you alive and send you to HELL!" he lunged at him with shear fire in his eyes."
Naruto punched Hatosisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisis in the face so ahrd his bottom jaw broke and got cent flying out, Naruto picked him up and
put him on a Scissor hold, "This is what you get you f*#@ing bastard! He then broke his arm clean off, blood all over both of them
It gets THAT bad. The story and tired cliches itself are bad enough, but throw unreadable grammar into the mix, and it becomes downright unreadable. I would rather watch Space Chimps than read this. SPACE CHIMPS!
I'd like to reiterate that there's nothing inherently flawed with the story if it is Mature rated. I really want to see Joker, which is R, but that's because it isn't defined by its rating, unlike the utter cesspool you will find when you do delve into fanfiction.
*cries in my only successful stories*
Forgive me, BradyBunch.
Joking aside, I mostly agree with what you're saying here.
Then avoid Sonic_Applejack2005. He turns this up to 11.
Yeah, I completely agree. It's bad enough that they have to make a story about this......could they at LEAST try to use even the tiniest bit of correct grammar?
5155668
He's a confirmed troll, though. I don't have to take him seriously.
5155673
He does turn it into an art form, though...
To sum up everything you said, You dont like Self insert Troll fics, In fairness I dont think anyone actually likes troll fics.
Having said that aint nothing wrong with swearing, When used at the right time and used sparingly a single swear word can have a huge impact on a moment,
5155728
I agree. I don't like using it because it makes me feel dirty--it's not the sort of thing Jesus would do, so why should I? But using it sparingly to create a big moment, like a precision f-bomb strike, can make a scene more memorable. However, if it gets watered down to the point of normality, it ruins the shock concept of swearing in the first place. If it becomes commonplace, it's meaningless.
So you'd hate my Colgate's Practice stories I wrote to relieve my stress....they are full of murder and gore.
5155821
Those stories I can handle. What I can't handle is when it's born out of some desire to see your OC succeed at everything he puts his finger to.
5155826
So Colgate succeeding in overthrowing the government and leaving a long trail of bodies over four stories is fine?....hey, I'm glad to hear it. You know the only death that wasn't bloody was Luna's because Colgate couldn't bring herself to brutally massacre her?
5156038
Hey, it's better than an anime harem fic.