Evidence of poor writing · 1:46pm Jul 13th, 2019
Eternal, enduring, everburning, the sun dared to pierce the veil of gloom, the shroud of suffocating grey rain left draped over the city of Vanhoover; so it was that sunlight, vivid, brilliant, precious sunlight, did shine upon the city streets, and there was much rejoicing from the sodden, soggy, waterlogged city-dwellers, who did revel during this moment of splendiferous respite.
Tater Blossom pronked through puddles and Nut waited Mrs. Oleander’s harsh rebuke.
So apparently I suck at this poetry thing. In other news, I went from zero to post-grad in 73 words.
Well, Spitfire, I wrote me some horsewords. Poorly, I might add. I basically created an opener filled with poetic prose that was one long run-on sentence, and wrote it in such a way that it was perfect in every way, at least in regard to passive voice and adverbs, but I totally failed to stick the landing and make it friendly to the reader. What we have here is, failure to communicate. And ultimately, this is why I suck as a writer.
No you dont . I love your stories and how they make me think. You are a great writher!
Hey, everybody approaches an idea in a different way. I probably would have used a war analogy, with the inhabitants of Vanhoover used to the triumph of their forces, but secretly cheering at the temporary victory of Sun. But that's me.
Yeah this fell apart towards the end. It was in no way bad writing I think you just attempted to stretch the metaphors a little too hard with a following paragraph that was too different tone wise... Also it should've been awaited I think, not waited.
You are no means a bad writer, poetry is hard. In fact, you are one of the best of us (except Georg" for he is a god and we can only hope to match him) here, you just simply stumbled :3
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Every chapter opens with a reference to the rain, so this manner of opener is still possible.
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Eh, things got edited later. I wasn't even awake when I wrote this. I literally had just pulled myself out of my bed and was trying to wake my brain up.
Also, following paragraph? What?
There are two sentences there. Two.
5088271 Well, yes I understand. Just that everybody has their own crowbar to open that crate. For example:
(bonus points for recognizing the Churchill quote I stole from)
So you feel bad for run-on sentences? Let's try some random facts to make you feel better
The longest sentence used in german literature has 1077(!) words (Hermann Broch's "The death of Vergil")
In Austria (German speaking country) we had to deal with this word-monstrosity in 2016: "Bundespräsidentenstichwahlwiederholungsverschiebung" - 51 characters for one single word.
It basically translates to "postponement of the repeat of the run-off election for federal president".
Or the actual name of a former german law: "Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz":
"Cattle marking and beef labeling supervision duties delegation law"
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I am but an amateur. Les Mis. One sentence. One beautiful sentence.
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while Nut awaited Mrs. Oleander's harsh rebuke