Cards of the Herd 2: Flashback · 10:54am Jun 27th, 2019
A bit of background: Last year, Wizards put out a six-card Horse cycle (that is, one horse card in every color, along with a colorless artifact.) Naturally, I came up with silly little flashfics to go along with each.
This year, instead of Mares, we got Cavaliers. Naturally, I’m going to apply the same principles.
As they approached their army, Celestia whispered, “Are you as embarrassed as I am?”
“More so,” answered Celestia. “You’re not wearing the saddle.”
Gilda smirked at the gasping creature clinging to her back. “What’s the matter, dweeb? I thought you liked speed.”
Rainbow spat a few more times and wiped her mouth. “The speed’s fine. It’s the bugs in my mouth I don’t like.”
“Though a monkey like you would appreciate an in-flight meal.”
“Be honest with yourself, counterpart,” said Luna, her legs moving without thought. “Are we doing this simply because our sisters are?”
Luna scratched her behind an ear. “No, we’re doing this because you’ve had literally one vacation and Tia ruined it.”
“How did you—?”
“I told her there was no such thing as a foolproof slot machine strategy, but did she listen?”
The girl flinched, but the flaming mane and tail emitted only a sensual heat that fogged her mind as much as her glasses. “Don’t you know, Mistress?” the mare said huskily. “Rapidashes can’t burn the ones we tru
“Hey, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy slammed the laptop closed. “I wan’t writing Capsumon fan fiction!”
Twilight and Sunset shared a confused look. “Uh, okay.”
“Ow.”
“Ow.”
“Ow.”
“Ow.”
“On second thought,” one Scootaloo said to the other, “maybe the scooter wagon train through the Everfree wasn’t such a good idea.”
“This all really necessary?” Applejack said from somewhere in the glittering get-up.
“Darling, I’ve wanted a knight in shining armor for most of my life. At least let me make the armor.”
Cavalier of Flame's was so unlike the others! Nice!
Diamond Knight's is less funny, but still funny! Nice!
Good kind of silliness. My favorite is probably not-a-steamy-fanfic-writer-honestly Fluttershy.
Applejack and Rarity always seem to end up in a similar situation. Sisters, saving the world, being together... Fashion? They do have their own solutions though.
The Knight and Fluttershy were also my favorites.
5080499 5080551 5080556
At this rate, I might just have to expand fanfic author Fluttershipper into something bigger.
Excellent choice for Thorns. Though they might need to add "tree sap, and pine needles" to the title.
The rest of these were pretty hilarious, too, though I kinda wonder how they ended up in the same universe in different forms.
What is Capsumon? I thought it would have something to do with Pokemon, but when I Googled it I got some varying results.
5080716
It's just a bland name product version of Pokemon. Pokemon's working title was capsule monsters, so the name comes from that.
5080605
Shenanigans. If you'd like something more specific, Oversaturated Ditzy Doo's been ferrying people through probability space to help save up for college.
5080716
It is Pokémon, just after applying the Bland Name Product principle I like to use for Equestria Girls. (As for why I kept "Rapidash," I'm not going to rename every single species of collectible monster. That way lies madness.)
5080578
Yes, please.
You, sir, are a bloody genius.