vren55's Little Life Wisdoms #1 "You only know your own story" · 7:41am Feb 22nd, 2019
So one of my family members is slogging through the utter hell that is a Masters program at university and she needed advice about friendships. Won't go into details, but she mentioned, for the second time, "vren55, when did you get so wise?" after I finished giving her a particular tidbit.
Skipping the part where I feel slightly smug about accumulating life wisdom everybody accumulates at some point, I think that family member had a point that what I said at the moment was wise. So here's what that piece of wisdom is:
You only know your own story.
Let's break that down. If it does sound familiar, it's because it's a quote I was inspired by from C.S. Lewis's book The Horse and His Boy.
Child,' said the Lion, 'I am telling you your story, not hers. No one is told any story but their own.
I find this little quote, and the message behind it to be one of the most useful pieces of advice I can give to others. It's something I try to remember when well... when I need perspective.
When I get frustrated at someone because they did something that annoyed or hurt me. If I remember that they have their own story... their own challenges to deal with, it keeps me calmer and puts things into perspective. It reminds me that they have their own challenges. It doesn't absolve them of what they did, but I find remembering this lesson is a good check.
When I'm generally confused about someone's actions, remembering this piece of advice reminds me that everybody has their own motivations for different reasons. It reminds me not to push my expectations of what is right, wrong, or how to act, on other people.
If I'm alone and feeling a bit rotten, this piece of advice reminds me that... well other people might have to deal with the same challenges as I do. I just don't know their side; their story.
If someone refuses to tell me that they are hurting, or explain something that happened to them, this quote reminds me that... that even if they were willing to explain what happened to me, I would never be able to grasp it completely, because I'm not them. I'm me, and I would never be able to experience the same tragedy that they did.
Similarly, if I can't understand what someone is going through, and feel bad about not understanding what someone is going through, this piece of advice reminds me that... well I'm me, I can't completely understand what someone else is going through.
Our natural drive to control things and to know everything in an information-driven world is understandable. I'm driven to learn and know new things constantly. I also like controlling my environment.
But every so often, reminding myself "I only know my own story" can bring me to a useful pause, and to help me understand that I can't know everything, neither would I want to honestly. I am a unique person, but that means I am a unique person. I don't think the same way as other people, neither can I expect other people to think the same way I do.
So, if you made it here, hopefully you can use this little piece of wisdom in your life. I do hope it helps.
Sincerely,
vren55
Hmm...this little piece of advice could be really useful, thanks!
Just remember Mr. Lewis was telling the story of a child, as relayed by a lion. We are free to tell the stories of others because we can place ourselves in their shoes (or paws, or hooves) and speak as them, regardless of us actually *being* them. With all the hue and cry of the modern era about cultural appropriation and various sorts of 'privilege' that we supposedly use, MLP gives us the ability to speak as a completely different *species* with all the bumps and twists thereof.
(Ok, admittedly a lot of it is lesbian horse porn, but still...)
Wisdom is where you find it, and C.S.Lewis definitely has some for people who are willing to read him.
How true. As a poet once said, "Stop saying 'I know how you feel'. How could anyone know what another feels?"
(And that poet was, er, Nightwish. But the point stands.)
5018160 Welcome!
5018171 Agreed. :)
5018430 Mm hmm. Mind you, I find his stories problematic at times, but the intention behind them was good.
5018860 XD point stands indeed.
5019216
Yeah, I hope that didn't come across as a blanket endorsement for CS, but only that he has some wisdom in his stories if you can filter them out of the other things.
I agree. Beautiful advice! <3