In Which I Suffer Through New Moon: Epilogue -- Treaty · 2:42pm Apr 21st, 2018
There’s a brief description on how, several weeks later, everything’s back to the way it was before the Cullens left. Charlie’s set visiting hours for Edward and basically put Bella under house arrest, which I find hard to argue with. Bella’s looking at colleges to keep that option open and, apparently, Edward’s already gone to Harvard. If you’ve ever gone to Harvard, why the fuck would you go back to high school, you stupid son of a bitch?!
However, things are rocky between her and Jacob; most of the time, he refuses to talk to her and won’t return her phone calls. She doesn’t talk about him much with Edward, both because she doesn’t like thinking about him and because Edward doesn’t like Jacob.
“It’s just plain rude!” I vented one Saturday afternoon when Edward picked me up from work. Being angry about things was easier than feeling guilty. “Downright insulting!”
Call me crazy, but I think it might have something to do with you developing a friendship with him that slowly grew into a romance only for you to drop it all the minute your old boyfriend returned. And your old boyfriend is one of his species’ mortal enemies.
When Bella and Edward get home, it gets worse: Bella’s motorcycle is sitting in the driveway. Somehow, Bella still doesn’t understand what she’s done wrong and thinks Jacob is just being mean. Edward knows that Jacob’s still there to talk to him, so the two of them go out to meet him… even though Edward also knows that Charlie is also waiting for Bella and getting impatient.
As things happen, Jacob showed Charlie Bella’s motorcycle in the hopes of getting Bella grounded and unable to see Edward; he didn’t know that she was already grounded, or else she would’ve driven to La Push to talk to him personally. But Jacob’s here to talk to Edward, not Bella. Before they get down to business, Edward thanks Jacob for being there for Bella when he couldn’t (Jacob points out that he didn’t do it for Edward, but Edward says he’s still grateful) and offers Jacob anything in his power — except that the one thing Jacob wants isn’t in his power.
“Whose, then?” Jacob growled.
Edward looked down at me. “Hers. I’m a quick learner, Jacob Black, and I don’t make the same mistake twice. I’m here until she orders me away.”
I was immersed momentarily in his golden gaze. It wasn’t hard to understand what I’d missed in the conversation. The only thing that Jacob would want from Edward would be his absence.
“Never,” I whispered, still locked in Edward’s eyes.
CM + 1
Jacob’s angry but manages to keep it under control. He reminds Edward that if any of the Cullens bite a human, not just kill them, the treaty between them is null and the werewolves will kill them. He’s about to leave, but then Edward asks about Victoria. They bicker about jurisdiction for a little, since each one wants to be the one to take her down, until Charlie starts yelling at Bella from the house. Finally, Bella and Edward leave Jacob in the forest to return to Charlie. Bella thinks about the problems that have come up recently: Victoria, the Volturi, Edward and Jacob at each other’s throats.
Very serious problems. So why did they all suddenly seem insignificant when we broke through the last of the trees and I caught sight of the expression on Charlie’s purple face?
Edward squeezed me gently. “I’m here.”
I drew in a deep breath.
That was true. Edward was here, with his arms around me.
I could face anything as long as that was true.
CM + 1
And the last line of the book?
I squared my shoulders and walked forward to meet my fate, with my destiny solidly at my side.
Wha-buh-huh? What does that mean? What’s difference between destiny and fate? And what’s this about “walking forward to meet my fate”? Your dad’s going to yell at you for hiding a motorcycle behind his back! How’s that fate? What a terrible ending line.
Clinginess Meter: 78 x 4
That’s New Moon, and holy crap, it’s worse than Twilight.
Bella is so desperately clingy it’s disturbing. The central plot thread — Edward leaves and Bella feels bad about it — probably wouldn’t be compelling even if the characters were likeable. The middle of the book is utterly inconsequential and feels more like a setup for the next book. I mean, really, when you reach the end of the book, what’s changed? Victoria’s hunting Bella and Jacob is now a rival with Edward for Bella’s affections. Why so little? We never even saw Victoria, so it’s hard to think of her as a danger. And not only is the middle inconsequential, it’s basically a retread of the first book: Bella falls for hot guy, hot guy turns out to be something inhuman, Bella meets his family, hot guy and family protect her from vampire hunting her. Except that the vampire isn’t dealt with at the end of this book and Jacob’s family almost never appears after their introduction. I will admit that Bella has better chemistry with Jacob than Edward, but since her chemistry with the latter was teetering into the negatives, that’s not saying much. And most of Jacob’s character disappears once he becomes a werewolf; he’s not “Jacob the happy-go-lucky amateur mechanic”, he’s “Jacob the werewolf”. It’s like a good book wanted to come out but got beat down by the paranormal romance.
Now let’s tally up the Clinginess Meter…
Clinginess Meter: 78 x 4 = 312
Wow. That’s pretty clingy. (What are the units? Clinginess Units. Shut up.) And what have we learned today?
- A passive character is a very, very boring character. I can’t believe I’m saying this, it’s so obvious, but this book really drilled it into me. For the love of Mike, have your characters do shit. Make them proactive. Make them take their own steps. Give them options, then have them pick an option quickly rather than endlessly deliberating over it. Drop a sadistic choice on them and, whichever way they go, make them face the fallout head-on rather than trying to hide from it. Why is THIS what I needed to learn from the book? This is Writing 101!
- Make sure your subplots fit in with the rest of the story. There needs to be a “point” to them. Fit them into the plot as a whole. Ask yourself: “If I cut this subplot from the story entirely, what would I need to change in the main plot?” It doesn’t need to be completely intertwined with the A plot or world-shatteringly important, but its effects still need to be immediate and visible. Otherwise, you’re wasting your readers’ time, because what’s that plot doing there, anyway? Minimize the amount of diversions from the main story (unless it’s a meandering slice-of-life style story where the diversions are the main story).
- Definite time limits work better than vague ones. Almost completely pointless outside of thrillers and some kinds of adventures, I know, but I learned it. “Something bad is going to happen sometime!” is a lot less compelling than “Something bad is going to happen in five minutes!” Giving a solid point at which something happens immediately grounds it for the characters and lets them plan for it.
- Your characters are more than their powers or their role. Out of all the mistakes I’ve seen Twilight make, this is probably the one most often seen in other books. In bad books, characters are defined more by what they can do rather than what they actually do. “I can start a firestorm!” “I can control all the electricity in the city!” So what? I’m asking you whether or not you want sprinkles on your donuts. Strip away their powers; what’s left? A personality, I hope. Heck, at least have them use their powers in interesting ways to show off that personality. Sure, your pyrokinetic could simply incinerate the gunmen menacing him, but what if he wants to give them a chance to surrender? Maybe he just ignites the gunpowder in all their bullets first to disarm them. Does a beer-loving werewolf transform into his wolf shape to travel faster and get to the bar while Happy Hour’s still going?
- A setup needs to exist for more reasons than to simply set things up. This one is hard to explain fully, since it depends so heavily on specifics and context. Setting up plot points that pay off unexpectedly later needs to be done within the context of the current scene, not the later one. Extract just the setup from the scene; is its subject the same as the scene’s subject? Is it told/shown in the same way as the rest of the scene? The more easily it fits in with the rest of the scene, the likelier it is that a reader will register it without picking it out as a “this will be important later” thing. Inserted poorly, a reader will see it, recognize it as important, and guess the rest of the plot before the chapter’s up.
Anyway, strap in, because Eclipse is coming up next.
Wait, that's it? @_@ The fuck?
The only thing you can't do in Harvard is stalk high school girls. :V
4844592
Yeah. That's it for New Moon. An awful lot of nothing, wasn't it?
4844601
"Awful" and "nothing" are both correct. :B
You can say it was a big awful nothing burger but you had some good takeaways. If you writing this up helps even a few authors keep them in mind it could dramatically improve several potential stories.
Yeesh. With this little content, I'm surprised this book can't be used as a flotation device. Looking forward to seeing what we can learn from the next one.