Change of Plans · 8:35pm Feb 16th, 2018
I suppose this kind of announcement was inevitable, but after getting the okay from a few people, I have decided to be semi-active on FiMFiction. However, there will be some changes around here that will dictate my activities on the site. I suppose they should be described in detail to the best of my ability, and I'll get to them and more after the break.
For starters, I have agreed to step away from writing and publishing stories. The performance of such tales during their first days were often a contributor to my anxiety problems, and while I am allowed to write my own stories for myself, it would be best to avoid doing the part that causes me trouble. Apologies to those who'd like to see me continue posting stories, but it's for the best.
Secondly, I will greatly dial back the comments and blogs on the site moving forward. I don't have much to add when it comes to comments and the like, and some authors who've understandably blocked me because of the drama still post stories that I truly enjoy. Even if I am unable to like or favorite the stories in question, the mere fact I'll have the opportunity to read them is more than enough for me. I had initially asked to resume my usual habit of commenting on stories and whatnot, but that was understandably denied.
Part of why it was initially agreed between me and those who've given me professional help to leave the site behind was because of my anxiety issues, namely my fears that a continued presence on the site would result in more conflict coming my way. However, limiting what I can do on the site was deemed an appropriate compromise when the issue of wanting to keep track of two stories' progress came to light, and there are still a few stories I'd like to read to the end.
However, I should address the elephant in the room and bring up the drama one last time, as someone who wishes to remain anonymous told me that it flared up for a moment during my absence. People shouldn't be fanning the flames over that story regardless of what side they're on, especially since the drama itself consists of enough conflicting stories to resemble the Rashomon effect. While I honestly believe what I heard during those days were true and thought getting my side of the story out was the best decision in light of some psychological trauma, I recognize that my actions throughout those times were misguided and appalling, especially considering how I do not know what's true or false anymore. It's why I want to extend my deepest apologies to the entire FiMFiction community for everything that went on. I recognize that a mere apology isn't good enough for all the vitriol that occurred, and perhaps nothing will suffice to where we can drop our grudges and go our separate ways, but it is the best I can manage at the moment given my resources. One of the central figures in the drama could use some appreciation sent her way, even if she has every right to consider me a terrible person for my poor judgment. I will not tell people about those involved in the incident, but you'll probably be able to piece together some of the puzzle if you know where to look.
I suppose completely abandoning the MLP community was a promise I couldn't fulfill, especially since I am eager to watch and discuss the EqG special airing today. To those who've supported me through these troublesome times, I thank you for your kindness and understanding. To everyone who hates me because of what happened and the fallout therein, I understand your emotions. If you wish to unfollow this account or block it, you have every right to do so. Right now, I'm going to use it for tracking stories I enjoy, which is what I should have done from the beginning.
Well I am glad you're staying.
True and don't know what happened and actually I don't want to know about it.
All I see here is that whatever happened you've expressed regrets and apologize for it, and that's enough for my point of view.
I will regret not seeing anymore stories from you, I really like your Trixie stories, but I understand you choice and leave it at that. I'll just enjoy the ones that are now available.
Well, glad to know you're staying. I'll miss your stories, but it sounds like it's for the best.
And for what it's worth, you expressing regrets and apologizing for the situation, that alone speaks volumes.
I’m not going to unfollow.
I honestly have no idea what the hell the drama was, as none of the people I follow seemed to be talking about it. So I'm just sitting here staring at your comments, having no idea who or what or why.
Good to hear you're getting professional help, though.
Glad you're sticking around
* Throw more oil on the drama smoldering body *
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4798400
It was essential to apologize for my share of wrongdoings. Even with how complex the whole situation became over time, I recognized through my own experiences and various talks that I share some of the blame, and it would be foolish and rude to suggest otherwise. Thankfully, those situations are less likely to repeat since I have moved away from the causes behind my anxiety problems. Reading and liking stories is one thing that still makes me happy, so that's what I'll focus on when it comes to this site.
4798429
It's one of those things where it'd be best not to go into excruciating detail because of its sensitive nature. None of the people you're following were involved to my knowledge, which probably explains why you haven't heard much about it. Anyway, getting professional help was something that I should've utilized a long time ago, and while their recommended restrictions mean I won't be doing anything too substantive, I will be able to track ongoing stories and enjoy the works of authors such as yourself.
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I won't be doing anything major such as comments, blogs, or stories because of the doctors' recommendations, but I guess this counts as staying on the site. Don't think I'll log on too much because of these changes, but since I am eager to read some ongoing stories, it's better than nothing.
4798446
Glad to see you haven't changed since we last met, Ficus.
4798457 It would be good if there were a 'disable feedback' option for stories, which shut down their comments, like/dislike bars, view and bookshelf counters. I like all those things, but if it's the reception your stories are getting that's holding you back from releasing more, then yeah, it'd be good to have a way to switch those things off in those situation so you could just publish and hear nothing about whether they were well-liked or not
I don't what is the bad thing you did, but that you're apologizing sounds similar to a situation I had that led to two blog posts I posted in early and mid 2017. Still, glad to know you will staying here, even if it's not full time. Also, you're realizing your mistakes and that's pretty fine, even if I don't know the problem. As 4798400 said, it speaks volumes. I hope your life gets better.
You did what you thought was right and I can respect that. I truly hope you find happiness from within—that is something I have always wanted for you, as neither my nor others' encouragement seemed to be able to reach you past the anxiety. That is something I can empathize with on a very deep level, and to hear you are making healthy strides is fantastic news.