"I Will Not Fail" Sequel Promo. Tempest Shadow vs Darth Vader. · 9:10am Jan 21st, 2018
Hey, guys.
Raptormon132 here. So I'm writing the first sequel to my story, "I Will Not Fail. A story of a "What if Darth Vader was in MLP: The Movie" type scenario. In this sequel I'm working on, there is a fight scene between Darth Vader and Tempest Shadow. And I was hoping if any of you could read this, and tell me your honest feedback (whether positive or negitive) about it, to see if I captured both character right.
Here's the scene.
(Note: it was recently edited to stop the errors since I posted this on the forums of other groups)
Outside, Tempest Shadow gathered a large battalion of Storm Creatures, ready to engage the Sith lord approaching on the oncoming airship. The airship was now preparing to land as Tempest Shadow stood there, with Grubber by her side.
"Thith ith it, Tempetht," Grubber said. "Just watch out for that beam thword thing of his."
Tempest Shadow eyed at the lightning naginata of Fulgur attached to her back. "It won't be a problem."
The airship began to slowly lower down until it was on the airship docking bay. There was a few moments of silence, until there was the growing, eerie sound of mechanical breathing from the entrance to the airship. Darth Vader stepped out from the shadows onto the boarding platform, where the Storm Creatures raised their weapons, ready to fight.
Darth Vader briefly stopped in the center of the boarding platform. "I am Darth Vader. And I have come for the Storm King."
Tempest Shadow stared at Darth Vader intensely. "Leave now, while you still can, or we make this difficult!" Her broken horn began surging sparks of electricity.
Darth Vader continued to walk down the boarding platform, and stepped on the bay. "You do not know the power of the dark side."
Without warning, Darth Vader unleashed a Force Repulse, releasing a sudden outward burst that launched everyone over the edge, falling to their deaths. All except for Tempest Shadow who jumped high out of the way, and Grubber who managed to grab on to the edge.
Holding on to the side, Grubber grunted as he struggled to pull himself back up. "I gueth I shouldn't have had that thtrewberry short cake earlier."
At that same time, Tempest Shadow kicks an obsidian sphere, hurling it directly at the Sith lord. Darth Vader, noticing it, used the force to side step the upcoming obsidian sphere, where the obsidian sphere hit the ground, missing its target. Using this distraction, Tempest quickly rushed at Darth Vader for a full on assault. But Darth Vader, sensing Tempest's approach, reached out with the force, gripping the unicorn mare in a telekinetic grasp, before throwing her to hull of the airship, and pinning her in place against it.
Tempest Shadow struggled vainly to free herself from the sith lords grasp, as Darth Vader began to walk towards her. Seeing there was no way to free herself with raw strength alone, Tempest knew what she had to do. She began to charge her broken horn, and when Darth Vader came within four metres away from her, she unleashed a blast of unstable electricity at the sith lord, taking Darth Vader by surprise. The blast forced Darth Vader back, with him barely keeping to his feet, and Tempest now free from his force grip.
At that same time when electrical blast hit him, there was a noise of something powering down, and soon Darth Vader found himself unable to breath properly as he kneeled weakly, struggling to breath. The electrical blast from Tempest Shadow had caused his life support system to short circuit, and shut down temperately, making him more vulnerable. Tempest Shadow noticed this as she got to her feet, and began to chuckle with satisfaction at weakening the Sith lord, now that she realized that she had found his weak spot. Watching on from the side lines, Grubber cheered for his commander, while eating some chocolate cake.
"Yeah! Alright! Wayda' go, Tempetht! Thith guy ain't tho tough!"
Darth Vader struggled to get back on his feet, groaning and making struggled gasping noises, as Tempest was approaching the now weakened sith lord.
"You've made a mistake coming here," Tempest Shadow said. "Big. And it looks like you've been weaken. How about we end this easy with your complete and total surrender? Otherwise it would be interesting to find out how much longer you can last before you die."
Darth Vader got to his feet with a grunt, and stood up straight ready to continue fighting. "The force will sustain me long enough."
Tempest Shadow smiled pleasingly, chuckling with malice. "I was hoping you'd choose "otherwise"."
At that second, Tempest Shadow moved towards Darth Vader, twists one of her hind legs before her, and landed a hard kick into Darth Vader's abdomen. Darth Vader grunted in pain from the hard kick as Tempest quickly moved to his side, and kicked him again. Then as the Sith lord staggered, Tempest Shadow took hold of Darth Vader by one of his hands with her mouth. With her strength, she jumped high in the air, taking Darth Vader with her, before hurling him over her, and throwing him to the ground.
"Ohhhh, big mathked capeman juth got dropped!" Grubber said.
Tempest Shadow smiled with her broken horn charging. "Too easy."
Raising to get to his feet, Darth Vader noticed Tempest's horn charging, knowing what was about to happen. With one of his hand, he quickly grabbed his lightsaber from his belt. And in the nick of time, as Tempest fired another blast of unstable magic, ignited his lightsaber, and blocked it away with one strike.
"You underestimated me." Darth Vader said.
The red light of Darth Vader's lightsaber reflected in Tempest Shadow's glaring eyes as she remarked, "I underestimate nothing!"
With that said, Tempest tossed the lightning naginata of Fulgur off her back, and caught hold of it in her hoof, where it began to glow blueish-white with sparks of electricity from one end to the other. With a loud grunt, she ran at the Sith lord, and took the first strike at him with the weapon. Darth Vader intercepted and blocked the strike with his lightsaber, and was quite surprised that the unicorn's magical weapon was able to not be sliced by his more superior weapon.
Tempest continued her offensive, using all her combat knowledge, and strength to try and defeat her mighty foe. Darth Vader did the same, with his great skill of lightsaber combat. Each one having their equal share of strikes, counters, and defensive blocks, with also chaining kicks and punches in their weapon move set. Tempest fought with all of her might, matching Darth Vader's every move, doing everything she could to overcome the Sith lord. However, Darth Vader's lightsaber fighting style, being implemented of all forms of lightsaber combat for fighting against Jedi in his own dimension, made it difficult for the unicorn mare, for she had never encountered a Sith. Even worse so for Tempest, feeling the strength and power from Darth Vader's strikes, in addition to Grubber's annoying wise-cracks and cheering.
Secretly, Darth Vader was most impressed. The fact that an intelligent, quadrupedal being could fight, hold their own, and even match him in combat was quite an unexpected, interesting development, considering he was classed as one of the most well-rounded duelists. No one without the force had ever truly challenged him before, until then. He even had to risk using some of the force sustaining him to augment his speed and mobility to keep up with his opponents endurance. Though his opponent possessed a power that the Sith lord did not fully understand, instead of the force. If she had, she would have been worthy enough of becoming a Sith assassin or even an apprentice for him back in his dimension.
The fight between Darth Vader and Tempest Shadow had been going on for two whole minutes. Tempest Shadow's blade of the lightning naginata of Fulgur managed to get a hit on Darth Vader, sticking him on the shoulder. Despite the shoulder plate protecting him, Darth Vader still felt it. He retaliated with a heavy strike of his own, before landing a hard kick in Tempest Shadow's snout, stunning her briefly, with blood beginning to drip down her face. Seeing his chance, Darth Vader used it to push two buttons on the control panel of his suit, where it powered back on, and his mechanical breathing started up again.
With his life support system reactivated, Darth Vader was now back at full strength.
"You wasted your opportunity to defeat me." Darth Vader said.
Darth Vader raised his free hand, and reached out with the force, pulling the lightning naginata of Fulgur from Tempest Shadow's grasp, and causing the naginata stop glowing. Since it was no longer active due to not being in Tempest's grasp, Darth Vader raised his lightsaber as the naginata flew towards him, and with one slice of his saber, he cut the weapon in half, destroying it permanently. Tempest quickly charged her broken horn, and fired another blast of unstable magic at Darth Vader, but was blocked and deflected easily by the Sith lord's lightsaber.
Raising his hand, Darth Vader grabbed Tempest in a powerful force hold, raised her, and slammed her hard against the ground twice. Tempest cried and groaned in pain, with blood coming out of her snout, and her mouth when she coughed. Darth Vader then raised the injured Tempest up again, holding her in the air in a force choke hold, as he walked towards her, his lightsaber still ignited.
"Now..." Darth Vader got within a few feet away from Tempest Shadow, ready to finish her of with a killing strike of his lightsaber. "...you will die."
Darth Vader raised his lightsaber, preparing to deliver the killing blow, with Tempest Shadow watching helplessly, realizing that she was about to be killed.
So there you have it, guys. I left it on a cliff hanger so that it could make you think what will happen next.
What do you think of this fight scene? Was I true to both characters? Was it really bad?
Please me know your opinion on this fight scene in the first sequel story I'm writing.
Also, here is the story image of the first sequel story, kindly made by EJLightning007arts at my request.
Awesome!
Utterly wicked! Loved it! I’d say you’ve done very well to get everything in character. Although I wonder...why are Tempest and Gader fighting in the first place??? Hmm... Guess I’ll find out when it’s out!
4779133
Thank you.
I've looked at a lot of comics and Darth Vader clips, and well as look at scenes of Tempest Shadow, and research her backstory to the fullest.
I even got inspiration from a few Star Wars Darth Vader fan videos when thinking of the fight. One of the main videos I watched was this one below.
While thinking of it, I thought it would've been a cool idea for Tempest to have a magical weapon that could resist a lightsaber to fight against Darth Vader in that scene.
As for why Tempest and Vader were fighting each other in the first place, well I won't spoil anything, but the image I put on the bottom of the blog should give you a clue at to why. And it's the image that will be for the story, and it was made by EJLightning007arts, the same guy who made the image I used in "I Will Not Fail". I asked him to make more images like that, and he was kind enough to do so, considering that he both loved the story, and the fact sequels of that story was in high demand.
Here's the images he made for each sequel story I am writing, and will sort of give you clues as to what will happen.
1. pre00.deviantart.net/8a04/th/pre/f/2017/340/c/9/darth_vader_meets_the_storm_king_by_ejlightning007arts-dbvye85.png
(In Production)
2. img00.deviantart.net/eece/i/2017/340/2/5/vader_and_tempest_at_klugetown_by_ejlightning007arts-dbvymho.png
3. orig00.deviantart.net/297e/f/2017/345/e/9/vader_chocking_captain_celaeno_by_ejlightning007arts-dbweos3.png
4. orig00.deviantart.net/4a7a/f/2017/356/d/5/darth_vader_with_tempest_and_twilight_by_ejlightning007arts-dbxh9pb.png
5. pre00.deviantart.net/1f2a/th/pre/f/2017/364/c/0/vader_and_tempest__vader_s_death__by_ejlightning007arts-dbyd5uh.png
(Note: I'll only be using the top half of that one)
4778615
Thank you.