Tea Bag Fan Fiction

From the side of a box of Tazo Iced Passion tea bags:

Voluptuous hibiscus blossoms,
perfumed with passion fruit essences,
sidle up to long tall lemongrass. A forbidden fruit romance ignites, but ice cubes will quickly cool things down to a pleasant PG-rated affair.

...Now I'm not saying iced tea erotica exists, but iced tea erotica exists.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Comments

[Vendable Sheik]

Never seen a tea box with such...expressive wording. Rule 34 really is universal isn't it?

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'll see your iced tea erotica and raise you bean dip scenery porn:

With a color and flavor
as smoky as a desert sunset,
our spicy Black Bean Dip
has a heat that
comes from deep within,
rising in gentle
waves before the cool of dusk
comes down like a curtain.
Throw caution
to the wind and dip in.

Bonus points if you read it in Barry White's voice.

[Skeeter The Lurker]

4689088

I swear up and down what I wrote here was actually on the box.

It seems it really is.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Skeeter The Lurker]

4689089

Tazo's chai tea:

Black tea takes a Saturday drive through and exotic marketplace. The essences of sweet cinnamon, spicy ginger and fragrant cardamom float in through the open windows while black pepper flirtatiously grabs the steering wheel--just to heat things up a bit.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Petrichord]

 ice cubes will quickly cool things down to a pleasant PG-rated affair.

Wait, they aren't using ice cubes in their foreplay? Why the heck not?

[Xaldon Ajide]

4689091 ... that avatar, Aku-Stage1.

Ps. Cuphead is an awesome game.

[Willow Wren]

4689091

The vanilla chai version has everyone playing croquet. So vanilla.