Looking for Feedback · 5:43pm Sep 4th, 2017
So, with the last few chapters mostly written out, I'd like to do some revision on the already posted chapters. I'd like to know if anyone here has any criticisms that I might use to work on the story, because I'm my own worst critic, and I know better than to sit here for a month revising it instead of finishing it.
Here are some issues that I think are there but would like second thoughts on, because I'm not really sure how prevalent they are to other people...
Pacing - I wrote a large chunk of this with the notion that I was rambling on too long and should be getting to the point faster, but now I'm wondering if I've rushed the pace too much...
Tone - I know the tone dips and weaves at times, especially in the Prologue, Chapter 1, and Chapter 5.
Language - I'm aware that this story is unapologetically intellectual, probably so much that it makes it a hard read at times. I'm also aware that I could be more scientifically accurate and use terms better. I'm not entirely sure what all needs to be fixed and what can be left alone.
Any thoughts on those? Anything I missed?
I personally find the story enjoyable and don't see anything wrong with it
Pacing-I liked the pace at the start since slower pace makes for more impact but since its at a point where it doesn't need the suspense I think the faster pace is good Maybe keep the fast pace and use the slower pace when there is a battle or confrontation.
Tone-Well the story is still at the beginning so deciding if the tone is light or dark is up to you. The factual and the dark usually go well together but if you make it dark for the sake of edginess it might be bad.
Language-I got nothing sorry
4658380
Well, I'm glad, but that's not actionable feedback...
4658457
The story is about to go into act 3: we're 2/3rds in.
But to be honest it could use just a little bit more detail when discribing something's.
4658824
There! That's feedback!
Can you elaborate? What things?